Psychological contact: techniques and methods of establishing

Psychological contact is the main way to establish strong relationships between different people.

Without communication, it is impossible to form large corporations, conclude deals, sell goods, find partners, allies, and friends.

In order to correctly establish psychological contact and get the desired result, you need to learn how to use different methods of developing communication, understand how a dialogue should begin, what you can ask, and what it is better to keep silent about.

What is psychological contact

Psychological contact is the process of establishing trusting, friendly relationships. It is based on the search for common interests and goals. Psychological contact means a meeting of one person with another; it manifests itself only in interaction.

How many stages does the structure of psychological contact have? Three:

Opponents evaluate each other based on appearance and behavior. At this stage, a first impression of a person is formed, people decide whether they want to enter into a dialogue.
Mutual interest appears. Participants in the conversation move away from the general group and choose their own topic for conversation.
A dyad is formed. The distance between the participants in communication is reduced, they make joint plans, and are drawn to each other.

Stage four - pitfalls

The fourth stage begins when the process of establishing business contact has dragged on for several days. With close proximity, partners will begin to notice that they know incomplete information about each other. You can find out the truth about these “pitfalls” only by acting as an initiator. For example, it seemed to you that the person with you was not direct and open enough. Ask him a provocative question and carefully analyze his reaction. This method will quickly dispel all possible doubts.

Goals

Psychological contact is used in all areas of life and activities. It is needed in order to:

increase sales;
find clients or buyers;
make friends or build love relationships;
get a job and move up the career ladder;
acquire useful connections;
join the team.

Establishing psychological contact is a method of preventing and resolving conflicts.

Method of establishing psychological contact

There are different methods and techniques for establishing psychological contact:

A friendly conversation starter. You yourself become the initiator of contact, smile, address the interlocutor by name, give compliments or lighten the situation with an appropriate joke. It is necessary to verbally and non-verbally express your sympathy. It is important not to overdo it and keep it natural.
You are a technician. It is better to start with what is interesting to the interlocutor. This will help him open up, get out of his comfort zone, and break down barriers.
Engaging in dialogue. You need to choose a topic so that a person cannot remain silent. It could be something from public news or something that worries him personally. It is important not to lead the conversation to a quarrel or argument.
Three "Yes". Ask neutral questions that the person will answer yes to. After this, you can ask questions that are important to you. There is a high probability that the interlocutor will agree again. This is an effective sales technique.
Mirror reflection. Ask questions that nourish a person’s self-respect and pride. For example: “Is it true that this month you became the best employee of this company?”
Change of names. Start communication by addressing them by first and patronymic, then move on to the first name, and then to the nickname. If the attitude towards the opponent is negative - an offensive nickname.

Important! It is recommended to use several techniques at once during interaction.

Why is it important to learn how to communicate with people?

Communication with people becomes the most important aspect of any professional activity. Modern business life is so dynamic that old communication patterns are not conducive to making quick, clear and correct decisions. Almost all specialists and managers need knowledge and skills that will allow them to find contact with any person.

The technology of establishing interpersonal contact has long been taught in Western countries. People are taught:

not just listen to your interlocutors, but hear the main thing;
speak in such a way that others hear and understand;
organize business meetings;
think through and program future conversation;
avoid conflict situations, etc.

Professional psychologists have long developed specific techniques that can eliminate psychological barriers that arise when meeting and communicating with new people.

They also contribute to bringing partners closer together, the emergence of trusting relationships, and an increase in the subjective value of each person participating in communication. Moreover, such methods are based on the study of personality, temperament, psychology, emotions - and therefore are suitable for any situation.

It is recommended to use the technique of establishing strong business contacts when forming relationships with business partners, colleagues, and subordinates. But you need to understand that it is based on the principles of democratic communication.

Stages of psychological contact

In psychology, it is customary to distinguish 5 stages (stages) in the development of psychological contact:

Removing psychological barriers. You need to initiate communication and choose a neutral topic for conversation. At the same time, you need to conduct the dialogue in such a way that your opponent wants to support him and agrees with your statements.
Common interests. Now you can move from neutral topics to the interests of your interlocutor. It is important that you understand the topic. At the same time, you can unobtrusively search for other topics and points of contact. This will help prolong the dialogue.
Choosing communication tactics. According to the purpose of your contact, start sharing something personal, talk about your strengths, advantages, achievements. Soon the interlocutor will also begin to open up.
Search for pitfalls. Listen carefully to your opponent, ask leading questions or give real-life examples to understand what could potentially prevent you from building a productive relationship.
Stabilization of communication. Now you know common topics, off-limits, and neutral areas for interaction. You also know about your opponent’s strengths and weaknesses, his characteristics. You can begin to influence the person in order to achieve the initial goal of contact.

Note! You cannot break the sequence of stages, jump from one to another, or exclude something. Everything must go in strict order.

Stage three - establishing a single principle

Establishing a common principle is the most important stage in the communication process. This concept means forming an opinion about your interlocutor. There are several principles on which further relationships can be based.

“I’m ready” - a person is a confident person. It is difficult, almost impossible to confuse her with anything. She will perceive any problem not as a limitation, but as a test of her capabilities.
“I am open” - a person is completely open to his partner. He does not flatter him and directly talks about his positive and negative qualities. Such a psychological object will not say that he will always arrive on time, he will say that he, like everyone else, has human qualities that he cannot control (there will be no vehicle flight, the alarm clock will not ring, a pipe will burst at home, etc.). d)
“I'm straight” - a person always tells the truth about everything and never embellishes to make himself look better.

All of the above principles play a positive role in the process of establishing contacts between people. There are several principles due to which the interlocutor may form a negative opinion.

“I am reserved” - a person has difficulty making contact, he does not want to provide information about himself and is not ready for a productive dialogue.
“I’m not sure” - a person will always doubt his abilities; he will not be able to give an affirmative answer to any question.

Such qualities will allow the interlocutor to understand what kind of person is sitting in front of him, and whether he will have a desire to continue communicating with him.

Techniques for establishing psychological contact

There are general psychological techniques for establishing contact:

Consider and respect the other person’s personal boundaries, opinions and beliefs. Don't be intrusive or harsh.
Maintain a neutral-friendly tone when communicating with a stranger. Avoid rudeness, vulgarity, slang.
Know how to admit your mistakes and apologize for them.
Do not criticize your opponent, his interests, worldview and personality as a whole.
Give words value and meaning.
Don't interrupt.
Turn on empathy, put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Think about how your words and actions affect his behavior.
Address the person in a way that will be more familiar, pleasant and comfortable for him. Ask in advance how you can contact him.

Additional techniques for establishing psychological contact in business communication:

Think about what form and style of presenting information best suits your communication purpose. According to them, tell us about yourself and the company.
Take an interest in the needs and interests of your opponent. Find out what he expects from this cooperation, what he is ready to offer to achieve common goals.
Describe the benefits of cooperation with you. Name real advantages, don’t put pressure, and unobtrusively focus on the client’s interests.
Submit other proposals for consideration if the client is not satisfied with the first one.
Discuss the details of the approved proposal again and make a deal.

Communication in itself is a form of activity that leads to the establishment of psychological contact.

What is it for?

It’s worth talking separately about why you need to develop this connection in the process of communication:

It is important to know the techniques and ways of establishing contact with the client in order to gain his trust. A properly organized conversation will put him in a positive mood - this is the basis of a productive relationship.
These qualities are essential during an interview. A person who is neatly dressed, speaks well and has positive communication principles has a better chance of getting this job.
Every businessman should know about the process of establishing and developing contacts. Proper communication will have a huge impact on his performance. Who would want to cooperate with an ignoramus who is unpleasant to communicate with?
Proper organization of relationship building is necessary for every person. After all, every day people closely interact with other individuals in shops, restaurants, transport and other public places. “Quality” communication creates a positive opinion about yourself.

What are the conditions for successfully establishing psychological contact?

The main condition for establishing successful psychological contact is to try to understand your opponent and sincerely relate to his problems. It's important to realize that you don't have to meet every other person's needs, but you can always understand them.

Other conditions for successful contact establishment:

expression of joy about communication, ease of acquaintance;
interest in life, in the affairs of the interlocutor (every person thinks, first of all, about himself);
presence of a lead (think right away about where to start the dialogue);
imperceptible copying of the opponent’s emotions, gestures, facial expressions (this destroys psychological barriers);
asking for help and providing assistance;
empathy.

It is important to remember the basic rules of communication. For example, that talkativeness is just as harmful as silence. Or that every person wants to be understood and expects to be treated with respect. And also that it is dangerous to interrupt and be biased, generalize, and draw unfounded conclusions that are based on speculation.

Appearance

The most effective way to establish contact during negotiations is to create an attractive image. It is not advisable to dress up in the most expensive suits for an interview. It is important that the image is discreet and neat.

A woman is recommended to wear a stylish dress to negotiations that will highlight all her advantages and hide the flaws of her figure. Another good option is a formal suit. Under no circumstances should clothing show off legs or chest. Such a depraved image is unlikely to inspire confidence in the interlocutor. Hair should be styled as much as possible. It is necessary that the makeup is not provocative, but, on the contrary, emphasizes the natural beauty of the face. For manicure, you should choose discreet varnishes.

A man is recommended to wear a business suit to a meeting. A great alternative would be classic jeans with a shirt. It is not at all necessary that the clothes be from an elite designer. Usually interlocutors pay attention to the quality of shoes and watch brand. An accessory can create a special impression about a person.

We should also talk about the color palette. For an interview, it is not recommended to combine several bright shades. For example, if the blouse or shirt is bright, then accessories, trousers or skirt and shoes should be in a neutral shade.

Barriers to interaction

A psychological barrier is a mental state in which a person cannot do or say what he wants. This is due to internal inhibitions, emotions, self-doubt and other psychological problems. Barriers cause conflicts. Two groups of barriers can be distinguished: psychological and communication.

Psychological

This group includes the following types of barriers:

Negative emotions. Being in a bad mood, a person does not want to let anyone near him.
Suffering. Anyone whose soul hurts cannot stand the joy of others.
Anger. The principle of operation is similar to the influence of negative emotions.
Disgust and disgust. Bad breath, dirty clothes - these turn off many people.
Contempt. One person despises another for something and therefore does not make contact. This may be due to prejudices, stereotypes, and personal beliefs.
Fear. If your opponent begins to defend himself and close himself off, then perhaps he feels a biological or social threat from you.
Shame and guilt. Feeling of awkwardness of the situation, inappropriateness of contact. Shame for yourself and others.
Bad mood. The same is true for the influence of emotions and anger.

Communication

Communication barriers include:

The barrier of authority. People pay more attention to the authority of the source of information than to the information itself. Moreover, sometimes this is also connected with personal beliefs and stereotypes.
Barrier of avoidance. If an interaction is not interesting for a person or causes negative emotions, then the person begins to get distracted. Example: students at a lecture. Solution method: techniques for maintaining attention.
Barrier of misunderstanding. This means not understanding the speaker's speech or not understanding the meaning of words. Either the opponent does not like the style of presenting the material, or the information does not fit into his worldview.

How to please your interlocutor?

Establishing contact involves three main points:

Verbal interaction. It implies proper communication with a person. The speech should not contain obscene expressions or swear words. The cleaner and more beautiful it is, the more pleasant it is to listen to it.
Voice interaction. It is necessary to communicate in a calm tone, carefully pronouncing each phrase. If a person jabbers or swallows half the words, then it will be quite difficult to understand him.
Visual communication. A pleasant interlocutor must look neat, his facial expression must be friendly, and he must smell good. It is unlikely that anyone will enjoy communicating with an unkempt person.

Non-verbal communication. This concept refers to gesture technology. If a person constantly fusses, waves his arms and makes sudden movements in an attempt to explain something to his interlocutor, then he will arouse suspicion. Psychologists assure that an open, confident posture promotes trust.

Thus, the technique of establishing contact with a client rests on three main pillars: a neat appearance, competent communication and a beautiful voice. Judge for yourself, who would you trust more? A pleasant person who knows how to convey information correctly or an unkempt person who utters chaotic phrases and makes incomprehensible gestures. Agree, the conclusion is obvious.

My recommendations

When establishing contact, it is important to correctly combine the naturalness of your behavior and the desire to please your opponent. This is especially important if you plan to build friendships, romance, or long-term business relationships. If you just need to sell something, make a deal, then it is acceptable to pretend to be who they want you to be. How to maintain your uniqueness and not alienate a person in all other cases?

First of all, don't be afraid to push back. Be yourself. Although this is not always true. The habit of insulting, humiliating, being rude, and interrupting will alienate anyone and disgust you. But pretending is not the answer. If you want to learn how to establish trusting relationships, then you need to change the negative qualities in yourself.

At the same time, if, due to your temperament and personality type, you do not like to actively communicate or avoid tactile contacts, are restrained in your emotions, then you do not need to squeeze all this out of yourself. Better, on the contrary, tell us about it. Unobtrusively, for example, like this: “I envy you a little, you are so open and easy to communicate. This is hard for me. Maybe you can give me some of your advice?”

As for finding common interests, always try to understand your opponent. If we are talking about something that you don’t know at all, then ask additional questions: “what is it like?”, “what can it be compared to?” It would be nice if, having grasped the essence of the matter, you clarify: “So for me it’s like...?” At this moment, you express interest in the inner world of a person, and look for commonality, and reduce the distance, and are already beginning to unite.