Virtual relationships: types, pros and cons, expert advice

Our world is becoming more and more virtual. The Internet has become a place of recreation and entertainment, work, a means of communication with distant friends and completely unknown people, a second wallet, and even a place for virtual dates. Disputes and jokes on the topic of virtual love and its consequences/prospects do not subside.

Does such love have a future? What are the dangers? And why do many of us look for love on the Internet?

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Love on the Internet - what is it?

Information and technological progress has brought not only a huge number of conveniences and advantages, but also created new difficulties. One of them is virtual relationships at a distance. For many, ordinary correspondence with the opposite sex is nothing more than just another fun that will go away on its own. For others, in particular girls, this is a chance to meet the one. However, most often such relationships end in heartbreak and low self-esteem.

Virtual relationships usually take place through correspondence: people exchange messages on social networks, on dating sites or chat rooms. Particularly brave potential lovers can communicate via Skype.

Often virtual communication displaces real communication. The person is gradually drawn into communication through the monitor. Therefore, the natural need to talk to someone disappears on its own.

Interesting communication

Girls do not allow the idea that young people might be interested in the process of correspondence itself.
Thinking about the reason why this or that man adds a girl as a friend, representatives of the opposite sex themselves come up with possible options, such as: dragging him into a sect, making fun of him, seducing him into candid photographs. However, guys are not looking for interesting interlocutors, however, they can accidentally stumble upon such people when mutually discussing various topics. Having similar interests, men continue to communicate outside of forums. Such correspondence is especially relevant in the cool autumn or cold winter evenings, when many people, due to bad weather or their own laziness, do not want to leave the house. Mutual pleasure from correspondence will not necessarily develop into something big, but it will help pass the time and brighten up loneliness. The relationship does not go beyond communication as between brother and sister; thoughts of romantic encounters do not arise.

Virtual love and relationships: what's the difference?

Each of us needs love, we have an innate need to love and be loved. Moreover, this need is manifested in recognition, approval, respect and complete acceptance. When a person is in love, he is happy, fulfilled and full of strength and energy. Therefore, if a person does not find love in real life, he looks for it on the Internet.

Virtual love and virtual relationships are almost the same concepts. Love on the Internet is a far-fetched fact that is based on fantasy, imagination and the idea of a partner. Moreover, these ideas may absolutely not correspond to a real person. Therefore, people often get upset when meeting a virtual partner in life. The far-fetched does not coincide with reality. Moreover, the fact of unjustified expectations is manifested from appearance to demeanor and character. For example, “ugh, she’s not as beautiful as in the photo” or “he turned out to be so unsightly.”

Virtual relationships are communication between people in which they do not see each other, do not touch and do not perform any actions towards each other. However, they conditionally consider themselves a couple. They reinforce their “love” with emoticons with kisses, compliments and wishes of “good morning” and “good night”.

Virtual love is a kind of mind game. Playing at love, a person does not see, does not hear, does not understand what is happening around him, in real life. Moreover, he can talk about himself for days. It is not a fact that what is told will be true.

It is very rare that virtual lovers meet in reality.

Both virtual relationships and virtual love begin as quickly as they end quickly. Especially after a real meeting.

Why does love flare up faster on the Internet than in real life?

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An acute need for attention . If in real life there is not enough emotion, communication and attention (and many are indeed deprived of it due to circumstances), the Internet becomes almost the only opportunity to feel needed by someone.
Internet addiction . Social networks and interest-based sites draw people into the World Wide Web very quickly. Life in reality fades into the background. Because it is there, on the Internet, that (as it seems to us) we are understood, expected and loved, but at home and at work there are only omissions, quarrels and fatigue. On the Internet we have virtually impunity and can be anyone; in reality, we need to be responsible for our words and actions. Dependence becomes stronger the poorer a person’s real life.
Ease of making new acquaintances and “friends”. It's easy on the Internet. You went to a social network or website based on your interests, exchanged a few phrases, clicked on the “traditional” heart in the photo - and you were noticed. If you are original, principled and smart, you sprinkle humor left and right, and your photo shows unearthly beauty (“so what, it’s photoshop! Who knows about that?”), then you are guaranteed a crowd of fans. And there it’s not far from the favorites (with all the consequences).
Few people dare to take the first step towards dating in real life. Meeting your other half is even more difficult. On the Internet everything is much simpler. You can hide behind the mask of an “avatar” and fictitious information about yourself. You can turn into a fashion model with breast size 5 or a tanned athlete with a Hollywood smile and a Porsche in the garage. Or, on the contrary, you can remain yourself and enjoy it, because in real life you have to keep yourself in check. And it seems – here he is! So charming, courageous - smart speeches, courtesy... And how he jokes! Innocent virtual flirting flows into email, then into Skype and ICQ. And then real life completely fades into the background, because all life is in these short messages “from Him.”
In reality, hoaxes make no sense. “Hu from xy” is immediately obvious. On the Internet, you can distort your “I” ad infinitum, until the one whose speeches keep you awake at night “bites.”
The image of a person we focus on on the Internet is drawn, for the most part, by our imagination. What it really is is unknown, but we already have our own “plans” and ideas about what it should be like. And, of course, a botanist in glasses, interested only in cockroaches in his aquarium, or a blurry housewife with cucumbers on her face simply cannot sit on the other side of the monitor! The more illusions, the richer our imagination, the harder it is later to realize that at the other “end” of the Internet there is a person just like you. Perhaps with knees stretched out on sweatpants, with a bicycle instead of a Porsche, with (oh, horror) a pimple on the nose.
It is easier for strangers (this happens on trains, with fellow travelers) to reveal their feelings. Ease of communication creates the illusion of mutual interest.
It is almost impossible to see a person’s shortcomings online. Even if the resume honestly says “Gluttonous, arrogant snob, I adore women, freebies and money, unprincipled, attracted, consisted, whoever doesn’t like it – a book of complaints is around the corner” - this person brings a smile and, oddly enough, immediately puts you at ease. Because it's intriguing, creative and daring.
The biggest problem that virtual love can cause is the breakup of an “epistolary novel” via ICQ or mail. That is, no pregnancy, alimony, division of property, etc.
Mystery, mystery, the obligatory veil of “secret” - they always spur interest and feelings.

What are virtual relationships on the Internet?

Love on the Internet brings different emotions. Let's consider the main types of relationships on the Internet, which are easily determined by the fact of correspondence:

Random. Two people met by chance on the Internet: they liked the photos on their avatar, for example. Moreover, casual communication can smoothly retrain into “virtual love.” Communication is free, without a specific goal, but soon the person begins to realize that he has found his person. For example, life goals, positions, feelings converged. Sometimes a chance meeting on the Internet ends not only with great love in reality, but also with marriage.
Epistolary. The epistolary genre cannot be said to be outdated. It just changed its form somewhat: the letter turned into messages on the Internet. Previously, the epistolary genre was called a novel in letters. Today, almost nothing has changed. Usually married men resort to epistolary relationships, women less often. The reason is a boring life, in particular family life. Such a “verbal” game usually proceeds with an exchange of pleasantries, flirting and ends. However, in rare cases, an epistolary novel can weave suffering, passion, and even a vow of eternal love. In both cases, epistolary love ends after realizing the meaninglessness of relationships on the Internet. Moreover, there is no need to start a relationship in reality.
Mental relationships arise due to the search for a partner with whom you can have a heart-to-heart talk and talk it out. Chats and forums are an ideal platform for these purposes. This form of love is reminiscent of communication on a train. Two strangers talk about painful things, and when they leave the carriage they will never see each other again. So it is with the mental form of relationships. It usually doesn’t come to a meeting in real life.
Intimate relationships begin on the Internet due to a person’s sexual need. Moreover, the goal is to find a partner for self-satisfaction. Recently this phenomenon has become widespread. In this way, people emotionally break up their monotonous lives without resorting to physical infidelity.
Regular relationships on the Internet are dictated by one goal: to find a soul mate. When during correspondence people feel that they are suitable for each other, then in reality the relationship continues. Moreover, such relationships often end in a wedding and a happy family life.

What does online love give?

Online relationships can change your life because:

Invaluable experience is gained. Flirting with different partners teaches you to understand people, tune in to your interlocutor’s wavelength, and skillfully present yourself in a favorable light. The acquired skills of flexible communication with representatives of the opposite sex will definitely be useful in everyday life.
Dreams come true. You are not chosen, but you choose. There is no need to agree to a relationship with the first person you meet according to the principle “without fish, cancer will do.” It’s okay if all the eligible brides and grooms in the regional center have been dealt with. The search engine will offer candidates for your hand and heart without reference to place of residence: from Vologda to Venice. Knowledge of a foreign language erases borders and language barriers. The likelihood of finding a suitable candidate increases significantly.

Virtual relationships: psychology

Building a relationship between a woman and a man implies certain principles. Virtual relationships are based on the following basics:

the peculiarity of communication is formed on experience, temperament, upbringing and social environment;
in psychology, the basis of communication between the opposite sex is equality, which gives the right to conduct a dialogue;
the individuality of each person.

Why do people meet online? This phenomenon is rather a consequence of our modern life. Nowadays, many young people are passionate about building a career and making money. They work hard. Therefore, there is practically no time left for relaxation and meeting people in a club, at parties, exhibitions or restaurants. Other people often have complexes because of their imagined shortcomings, so they are afraid to meet someone in real life. They feel much bolder in their comfort zone: at home in front of the monitor.

On the Internet, anyone can become some kind of superhero, successful businessman, top beauty or model. These are the masks that you can try on, and you won’t get anything for it. In fact, such people in life turn out to be cowardly, unsociable and complex.

How to behave if you catch a man chatting with someone else

We understand that you really want to throw a scandal, throw a tantrum and throw away plates. But in order not to be branded as a woman with an unstable nervous system, you should, first of all, calm down and prepare yourself for an adequate conversation.

When you are ready, carefully ask the man what exactly is going on in his phone and carefully monitor his reaction.

A person who has nothing to hide will easily tell you with whom and what they are corresponding with. If he is nervous, behaves aggressively, accuses you of being overly curious, then he is definitely texting other women. And he hardly discusses the weather or work issues with them.

What is the danger?

Building love online can have its consequences. First of all, addiction. People are so captivated by the fact of correspondence that they are completely immersed in the virtual world. Moreover, without embarrassment, a person introduces himself as anyone, says anything, without being responsible for his words.

The problem of communicating on the Internet is due to the fact that people here find friends and love, hiding from loneliness in real life. However, problems in life are not solved in this way, but rather get worse. It is more difficult for a person who is addicted to communication on the Internet to contact people in the future. Gradually this habit becomes dull. It is quite difficult to get out of this web on your own. Many people resort to the help of a psychologist.

The main problems of communication on the Internet:

Self-identification. A person chooses a specific role for himself, putting on a comfortable mask. At the same time, the contrived role gradually turns into a habit. A person loses his individuality.
Addiction. Problems, complexes, failures - all these components lead a person to online communication. At the same time, in real life they only get worse, and the desire to be “online” increases. In other words, a person leaves, hides from his real problems. You can compare this phenomenon with a debtor who hides from creditors because of debts.
Habit of deception. Yes, virtuality allows for lies and embellishment of one’s biography.

Gradually, lying becomes a habit and “migrates” into real life.

Why do men like virtual love?

The answer is more than specific: lack of communication in life. Why does a man need virtual relationships? Many men say they are perfecting their flirting practice. Moreover, it is predominantly married men who choose this method of strengthening their skills.

On a psychological level, men do not regard flirting in correspondence as cheating. For them, this is nothing more than entertainment, which can be compared to their favorite computer game “Tanks”.

According to statistics, about 26% of all men over the age of 30 choose virtual relationships. Many of them practice virtual sex and completely refuse to start relationships in reality.

Why do men love virtual relationships? Because there are no obligations. Taking responsibility is difficult. Men “save” themselves from the ordinariness of family life. And on the Internet they take turns putting on masks: today - an insidious seducer, tomorrow - a tempting serpent. However, unfortunately, not a single mask gets along in reality with such a “mask-wearing” man.

Psychologists say that men like virtual communication because of its mystery. They like to think out the image of a girl, fill her with personal expectations and fantasies. In a kind of mental way, a man himself makes his ideal out of a woman by correspondence. This is the kind of woman he lacks in real life.

However, most often such relationships do not end in anything. It is difficult for a man to match his chosen “mask” in reality. Moreover, in life you also often lack the courage to meet a girl.

When to break up

You should break off a relationship in one case - if the man does not see the problem and is not going to stop his activities. Even despite the fact that you calmly told him how unpleasant his flirtations with other girls were to you. And for you this is completely unacceptable.

Well, even more so if the correspondence not only does not stop, but also begins to turn into something more.

Well, in general, if you have a fundamentally different view of life together, if he believes that there is nothing wrong with flirting on the side, and even with virtual sex (what about Chetakova?!), it’s easier to find yourself a new man than to diligently re-educate old

Pros of relationships on the World Wide Web

Of course, not everything is as bad as it might seem. There are also significant advantages to virtual love:

the opportunity to communicate without leaving home, in a comfortable environment;
you can carefully consider the answer to a difficult question;
the opportunity to demonstrate your best side;
conflict can be avoided;
no need to dress up and think through an image for little things;
you can meet different interesting people;
you can share your problems.

Of course, anyone can expand this list.

Cons of virtual love

Not everything is so rosy. There are also significant disadvantages that can easily overshadow the advantages. So, the disadvantages of building love on the Internet:

fear of meeting and not being disappointed in real life after active correspondence;
addiction appears;
the difficulty of matching the far-fetched image that was shown to the interlocutor in correspondence;
attachment to a person, and when the virtual relationship ends, mental discomfort and suffering appears.

The most important disadvantage of virtual love is the loss of the skill of “live” real communication.

Rules of communication on the Internet

Virtual relationships involve interesting communication. You can't go anywhere without this. So, to establish contact, you need to follow these rules:

Don't respond to banal messages with a smiley face or "Hello." Reply to long, complete messages.
Finding the golden mean will help you answer questions correctly. For example, you should not answer too briefly or too long. You can answer the question without starting “from the fifth kilometer” and telling the details of your biography. Otherwise, your interlocutor will become bored with you.
Obsession repels a woman. Therefore, men, if a woman has not responded to the first two messages from you, it means that she does not want to communicate with you.
If you really like the interlocutor, then you should not write about your feelings in the first message. This will scare you. You should not talk about intimate topics with an unfamiliar interlocutor if he did not initiate the discussion of this topic.
Women love with their ears. Correctly given compliments have never harmed anyone. At the same time, you need to give a compliment unobtrusively, carefully, without flattery.

The main rule in virtual communication is to be sincere. Just as you are!

Solid communication

When communicating with an adult man, you should not expect serious intentions.
These men are attracted by the girl’s intelligence, intelligence, and rationality, and with a seductive appearance, communication is doubly pleasant. However, such a combination of a girl’s positive qualities is considered by adult men as a trap from which it will be difficult to find a way out, especially if you give free rein to your feelings and fall in love. But in mature men, reason dominates feelings. Over time, the fascinating philosophical correspondence will turn to humiliation. The man will have a defensive reaction in the form of resentment, which will lead to the end of the correspondence.

Tips for guys

Banal messages like “Hello! How are you? What are you doing?" are a thing of the past. It's become a cliche. And in general: why should a girl answer a guy she doesn’t know well how she’s doing and what she’s doing?

A guy should interest a girl from the first proposal. So, some advice from psychologists:

Be playful, optimistic and humorous.
Don't bombard the girl with messages.
Show interest in her field of activity or hobby. She should feel that you are interested in her.
Be the initiator of communication.
Keep things interesting to talk about.
Communicate culturally and do not take long for her to see respect from you.

The main thing is respect. You can be culturally insolent. The key word is “cultural”.

I found correspondence with someone else. What not to do

We are looking at ideas that may come to your mind after you discover that your man is texting with others, but which under no circumstances should be put into practice.

Revenge

In this case, you will humiliate yourself rather than him. And then you will regret your action for a long, long time.

Write to "her"

A brilliant question may come to your mind: “What should I write to the girl with whom he is corresponding?” So the answer is NOTHING. She may not even know about your existence. And even if she does, your calls to conscience will only make her laugh and feel a sense of self-worth.

Hysterical

Yes, hysteria is the expected reaction in this situation. But, unfortunately, it will not solve the problem. As soon as it convinces your partner that his virtual betrayal is justified. You're blowing his mind and making his life hell.

Is it necessary to move from virtual to real?

It all depends on your moral readiness and the purpose of communication. Sometimes it is better not to move from the virtual world to the real one. However, if the desire to meet in life is mutual, then why should you resist? If your wishes do not come true, then let it be a lesson. As they say, it is better to do something and regret it than not to do it and also regret it.

You should not have high hopes for a meeting in reality. Often people become just good friends. Often the first meeting in life becomes the last. The interlocutor does not have to meet your expectations, just as you do not have to meet his.

Virtual relationships are all about experience: whether good or not depends on the situation. However, this experience is priceless. It’s better to meet a person in life and chat. In this case, you can consider it. What if, indeed, this person is the one you’ve been looking for for so long?!

How to make a relationship a reality and is it worth doing?

Traveling online with serious intentions is not a one-way ticket. You will have to return to earth and meet your chosen one if you dream of a real family, a cozy home and heirs. You choose the time when to go offline.

Start by switching your communication mode from text to voice and video messages. Try to discuss topics related to everyday life more often: professional achievements, everyday problems.

The following signs indicate the degree of your readiness to hug your partner and confess your feelings to him face to face at a table in a cafe:

There was a feeling that you had known each other for a long time, there was no fear of facing the unknown.
Your desire to see each other is mutual.
There are specific plans for a future together.

If everything goes perfectly in online dating and dreams come true, then you should definitely try to move into the real world. A fictional love boat does not always crash against the truth of life. Many people manage to make a fairy tale come true. Those who don't take risks don't drink champagne at the wedding table.