How not to worry about work: advice from a psychologist

Work is not just a way of self-realization and earning money for subsistence. This is the place where a person spends approximately a third of his time from graduation to retirement. Relationships with colleagues, promotion or demotion, satisfaction with the results of one's efforts or professional failures - all this has a huge impact on everyday life. Sometimes work is more likely to cause stress than positive emotions. Therefore, you need to know how not to worry about work and not take work problems beyond the office threshold.

Basic recommendations

It is impossible to change your way of thinking overnight and stop paying attention to work problems. However, you can change your attitude towards work and learn to cope with difficulties if you follow a few sensible tips.

Special treatment

Think of work as performing a specific set of responsibilities for money. Don't allow yourself to be exploited. If you work for an idea, then someone makes good money from it, right?

The right priorities

Set your priorities right. No matter how important your work is to you, it will not replace your personal life. Don't push your family and loved ones into the background. If the company closes, you will easily find another job, and if your children grow up without you, you will not turn back the clock.

Without tragedy

Don't make a tragedy out of work failures. A late report or a failed negotiation does not make you a fool or a scoundrel. Focus your energy on correcting the consequences and accept this experience.

Attention to yourself

Monitor your well-being. If you burn out at work, hardly anyone will appreciate it, and life will pass you by. Do not deny yourself sick leave, vacations, lunch breaks, and moments of rest. Overwork is one of the most common causes of stress and poor health.

Mental stability

Emotional stability and balance help to avoid stressful situations and look at the world with optimism. Develop these qualities in yourself, one day you will find that you can easily cope with any problem that previously seemed like the end of the world.

There are many specific reasons why service can turn into hard labor: difficulties in the team, nagging bosses, fear of layoffs, lack of career growth or overstrain associated with an overwhelming amount of work. For each of these problems there is a solution.

What's causing the unrest

There can be many reasons for anxiety at work.
You may already be familiar with the phrase “I’m constantly nervous at work.” You already understand that there will always be someone because of whom there may always be a stressful state in the body, or something, irritating factor.

Worry about the work done.
For not being appreciated enough by the team.
Worry about slow clients that slow down your workflow.
Worry about not doing everything you could.
A person becomes nervous when he is afraid that he has made mistakes in the work done.
A new employee worries when he doesn’t know how he will be received in the new team.
Fear of being incompetent in a given question.
Increased nervousness in the presence of irritating factors, such as sound. A person cannot concentrate on completing tasks, which is why he becomes very nervous.
Stress due to the fact that subordinates do not understand the assigned tasks.
Worry that colleagues are starting to whisper behind their backs, discussing.
Fear of competition. When a person sees that a new employee has appeared, the best specialist and he is now threatened with dismissal. Or when another candidate for promotion appears.

How to improve relationships with management or colleagues

Even in the most friendly and cohesive teams there are disagreements and clashes of interests, because they unite completely different people, many of whom would bypass each other on a long journey in ordinary life. It is impossible to be pleasant to every colleague, but maintaining good working relationships with everyone is quite possible.

Do not get involved in office intrigues and conspiracies, stay away from gossips. Focus on your job responsibilities.
Try not to make friends with work colleagues, and God forbid you from office romances. When personal relationships begin to influence work processes, you can lose both.
Refrain from showing hostility and do not turn work conflicts into personal ones. Stop any manipulation. If the situation has reached a dead end, contact a reputable employee or superiors, the main thing is that this appeal is not a denunciation, but a search for a constructive solution.
Take criticism calmly. Perhaps you really made a mistake and you have a lot to learn from more experienced colleagues.
Build relationships with your superiors, but do not overdo it in this matter. Avoid flattery. Don't try to change your manager. If he is a tyrant and an unbalanced person, then either accept it or look for another boss.
Be friendly and attentive to your colleagues. Don’t go overboard – you will need the support of your colleagues more than once.

Causes of problems

Unfortunately, few manage to find a job they like.

Some are forced to work in a job they don’t like that brings in a normal income.

It also happens that a person likes his profession, but conflicts arise due to misunderstanding in the team .

All this creates a negative that grows like a snowball. According to statistics, approximately 15% of workers experience quarrels and conflicts in the workplace.

Psychologists name the following causes of conflicts:

Incompatibility of people in a team based on personal qualities .
They are all professionals, but they cannot communicate with each other at all. Reasons for quarrels can be: different religions, different ages, cultural values.
Ill-defined tasks. People don't understand what they want from them.
Lack of clear assessment of work results. The employee simply does not understand why some are scolded and others are encouraged.
Lack of precise terms of reference.
There is a large gap in wages among workers of the same occupation. Everyone thinks they do the most work, but they are underestimated.
Different professional goals. Some people want to work in one place, while others strive to make a career and literally “go over their heads.”
Personal hostility of workers towards each other and towards management . The reasons may be rumors, gossip, discussions, etc. Often the team is divided into several microgroups that are at war with each other.
A simple misunderstanding. Especially if people have different levels of education and different cultures. Those things that are acceptable to some are met with negativity by others.

Based on the above, the following types of conflicts are distinguished:

between two people . Usually such disputes arise within one department, when people are working on the same project. Everyone thinks they do more than the other
one against all.
Often this situation arises with the arrival of a new member of the team. People who have already worked well together do not want to let a stranger into their established world. It happens that negativity begins towards the new boss.
boss , subordinate. The management is dissatisfied with the lack of professionalism and the mistakes of the workers. They, in turn, are offended for being too strict and demanding. Sometimes quarrels occur against the background of personal incompatibility,
between different groups. There are teams with a negative climate. There are microgroups within that are at war with each other. It's good if they compete with each other to see who can do the job better. But sometimes outright provocations and “set-ups” happen.

How to cope with a large amount of work

There are areas of activity in which tense periods are inevitable, when you need to solve a lot of problems in a short period of time. A large amount of work and associated emergency situations, overwork and the need to make responsible decisions are always stressful. You won’t be able to avoid it, but you can make your life a lot easier if you use some techniques.

Target

Focus on the goal. Identify tasks and assess their importance. Solve problems consistently without wasting time and energy. Don't make a fuss.

Comfort

Provide yourself with a comfortable environment. The room should be quiet, bright and not stuffy. Nothing should distract you.

Rest

Give yourself a break. Once an hour, completely change your activity for five minutes - do exercises, listen to music, look out the window. Don't forget about sleep and food.

Calm

Keep calm. A short meditation, breathing exercises, or any other technique that will help turn off the flow of thoughts in your head will help you achieve balance.

Help

Don't be shy to ask for help. If we are talking about a serious project, ask for exactly as many assistants as you need so as not to overstrain yourself and fail the whole project. One in the field is not a warrior, so don’t be a hero and don’t pull the blanket over yourself.

No rework

Don't let overtime become the norm. Working too hard will not only ruin your health, but will also lead to overexertion, and this is the main reason for mistakes and rash decisions.

What if emotions take over?

If you notice that the nervous tension is already strong, and you are about to explode, then you need to follow the following recommendations.

Take a deep breath, try not to breathe for a few seconds, then exhale. This will saturate your brain with oxygen, you will calm down and be able to better think about your decision.
Do self-massage. Massage your earlobes for several minutes, then move to the auricle. Take care of the neck, directly at the points located at the base of the skull. Sometimes it's enough to just pull your hair. This will improve blood circulation and reduce tension.
If possible, you need to leave the room in which the irritant is located and go for a walk in the fresh air. If you cannot leave the company building, simply walk up and down the stairs several times.

How to cope with job loss or dismissal

Psychologists advise taking your mental health seriously during this difficult period, because losing a job is stressful, comparable to worries about the death of a loved one or divorce. There are several stages of grief, and it is important to go through each of them completely, otherwise there is a risk of getting stuck at one of the stages and greatly ruining your future life. Recommendations on how to survive layoffs or dismissal are based on the principles of properly experiencing loss.

Express emotions

If you have a large part of your life connected to your old job, the “we don’t care” attitude is just a mask behind which real suffering is hidden. Give yourself the freedom to worry, throw out your emotions, cry to someone’s chest.

Under the protection of the law

Don't threaten your boss or make intrigues. If you have been fired or laid off unfairly, seek protection from the law, but do it with a cool head. Therefore, before starting hostilities, go through the stage of anger. Express your negative emotions on paper, tell a psychologist about them, break a couple of plates if it makes you feel better.

Don't blame yourself

Moderate your guilt. Even if it is undeniable, life does not end there. The future will certainly provide a chance to use the experience gained in a similar situation.

Awareness of loss

Acknowledge your loss and come to terms with it. Analyze what your old job gave you, what you learned, what you gained, and what unnecessary things you got rid of after losing it.

Future Action Plan

Decide how you will live next and start doing it. Assess your potential and find all available resources to return to normal life. The end of one period in life is always the beginning of another. Who said it would be worse than the old one?

Monitor productivity changes

According to R. Katikalapudi, S. Chellappan et al. Associating Internet usage with depressive behavior among college students / IEEE Technology and Society Magazine scientists, fluctuations in the ability to concentrate are a warning sign that signals an impending anxiety attack. For example, you switch between several things, look for something to distract yourself with, procrastinate.

Keep an eye out for these symptoms and you'll have your own alarm system on hand.

When you perform a task, write down how it makes you feel. Create a separate document for this, make notes in your diary or in Trello, if you keep track of tasks there. Record fluctuations in mood and concentration.

And after a while you will notice what exactly causes anxiety attacks. Maybe it's a certain type of task, a specific client, or too strict deadlines. Knowing the reason, it will be easier to build the work process.

Fear of failure

Paradoxically, the stronger the fear of making a mistake, the greater the likelihood of making one.

Give yourself room to make mistakes. Only those who do nothing make no mistakes. But distinguish mistakes from manifestations of negligence and irresponsibility.
Treat mistakes as a way to gain experience. Ask any professional how many big things are hidden behind his skill.
Get rid of negative thoughts and don't plague yourself with premonitions of failure. A positive attitude is already half the success.
Throughout your life, you have dealt with difficulties more than once. Remember your victories and achievements, this will give you self-confidence.

If your job is making your life miserable, it may be better to change it. But if the situation repeats itself again and again, the problem is you, and it’s time to sort yourself out. By working on yourself, you change the world around you. Take care of the health of your soul and body. If harmony reigns inside a person, failures bypass the lucky person. Live life to the fullest and enjoy your work!

Methods for dealing with stress at work

All psychologists unanimously say that holding on to negative emotions is harmful. And indeed it is. Due to the long-term accumulation of negativity, mental disorders or illnesses may develop. But this does not mean that a person should start shouting every time anxiety or stress arises during work.

Don't take everything personally

In order to get rid of stress, you can use the tips and tricks below.

Don't take the irritated tone of a colleague or boss to heart. The reason for such speech may not be the work the employee does.
Learn to overcome difficult moments as they arise.
Don't exaggerate the scale of the problems.
Learn to show humility if the situation cannot be changed.
When a negative situation arises, try to imagine what could happen in the worst case scenario.
Analyze the stressful situation and determine the source of anxiety (this will make it easier to cope with a similar situation next time).
Learn not to get hung up on public opinion (most often those around you are too absorbed in their own affairs to be distracted).
Don't compare yourself to other employees.

Different people may react differently to the same problem. The suggested recommendations will help you stay calm when a tense situation arises and overcome anxiety and negative emotions.

Unhealthy atmosphere in a team: how to maintain nerves and peace

Sometimes the source of nervousness at work is colleagues who trip up a person and annoy him with nagging, gossip and unrealistic expectations. You can preserve the nervous system in such an atmosphere in the following ways:

Realize that it is not your fault that your colleagues are bad people . And do not try to change them, as they will not appreciate your attempts to be a source of enlightenment and prudence. Therefore, come to terms with what is happening and feel like an explorer who has found himself in the wild jungle. This will significantly weaken the impact of any provocations on you.
Find allies . It is easier to resist the bad influence of the team in tandem with one of the employees. If a lonely person is an ideal target for attacks, then two people who mutually support each other are no longer so easily angered.
Don't react to inappropriate behavior . Psychologists recommend that those who are constantly “harrassed” at work learn “psychological aikido,” that is, agree with any accusations without any emotional reaction. To put it simply, live according to the wisdom “the dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.”
Avoid gossip . Discussion among colleagues is a rust that slowly eats away any team from the inside. Schemers indulge their ego by gossiping about other people and savoring the details of their personal lives. They gain confidence with the help of affection and flattery, presenting secrets to others in exchange for mutual revelations. As a result, after some time, everyone in the team hates each other, and the gossiper benefits from others’ hatred, thereby strengthening his position in the hierarchy of the organization.

Low salary

Psychologists say the main reason for reluctance to go to work is low pay. No matter how hard it is for us, knowing that we will receive a worthy reward in the end gives us strength and calms us down. We know why and what we are trying for.

What to do?

Talk to your boss. You can't solve the payment issue, but management can.
Salaries are increased for those who ask. Firstly, the director does not have time to think about all 30 subordinates. Secondly, this is the principle of economy, if everyone works and the work is done, then everything is in balance. Therefore, you need to come and say: “I have a loan, a family, I plan to develop, take courses and for a comfortable emotional state, so that I can invest more in work and not think I need such and such a salary.”

Where does the voltage come from?

Sometimes it's all about losing meaning: the daily challenges are overwhelming, and I can't get the big picture in my head. Sometimes I don’t understand where to start, and the task seems big and super complicated. In the first chapter we looked at how to deal with this:

describe the problem as it is;
re-read the sign, which will remind you why all this was started;
think about how you can simplify the project.

But all this won’t work if you don’t have the strength. The wheels are spinning, but the car does not move - it has stalled. This is tension. Now is the time to remember again about the brain and the amygdala.

This same tension is born in the amygdala, a paired structure of the brain that is the center of pain and helps KJ Ressler. Amygdala activity, fear, and anxiety: Modulation by stress / Biological Psychiatry remember behavior during negative experiences in order to avoid them in the future. The amygdala is like a panic button that goes off in any situation associated with pain and suffering. This is good because we learn not to repeat mistakes, but sometimes the mechanism breaks down.

Sometimes this happens when we are tired: there are enemies all around, and negative thoughts in our thoughts, because they are influenced by context and state. Unpleasant thoughts repeated Q. AbuHasan, V. Reddy, W. Siddiqui. Neuroanatomy, Amygdala/StatPearls. Treasure Island stimulates the amygdala, is recorded in long-term memory and returns as new unpleasant thoughts. The circle is closed, there is no way out, there is no one to look from the outside.

In this state, the algorithm from the first chapter will not work, because everything is annoying and you don’t want to deal with the signs and the benefits - even that is difficult. If you force yourself to wade through things and plans, then, most likely, everything will become worse and more complicated: the freedom-loving brain does not like coercion.

Therefore, I follow the precepts of Bruce Lee and do not train in bad shape, so as not to develop bad habits. Instead, I reboot.

Sometimes depression occurs on cloudy days. Previously, this was explained by high levels of the hormone melatonin, which is released when there is little light, and therefore you want to sleep. But in December 2018, Scientists find a brain circuit that could explain seasonal depression / NPR two new studies that say it's more likely a special brain circuit that connects light-sensitive cells in the retina to areas of the brain that affect mood. Be that as it may, the conclusion is still the same: there is not enough light - turn on the lamps.

It's time to figure out what might work after all.