Loving your life is your main mission. The meaning of your existence is to come to love. To build such a life, you have to change and strive for the best for yourself. Do you greet new days with indifference? Don't you feel joy when you see the rising sun in the morning? You should learn to love life. Conditions are constantly changing, so your “mission” will probably never end. Here are some tips you can start with to truly love your life.
Get rid of what you don't need to make room for what's important.
Everyone's life is limited by time. No one can escape this limitation. You have to think about how you manage your 24 hours in a day. If you do tasks you don't like, you take time away from the things you really enjoy. If you spend a lot of time with toxic people, you take time away from those you truly enjoy being with.
Falling high
On spiritual routes, both escaping into the safety of the comfort zone and fanatical idealization are practiced. Escape from a frightening world is presented as a godly hermitage designed to strangle the personality, cutting it off from what it desires, so that consciousness is thrown beyond the personal into the deep layers of perception.
Careless seekers christen social paths as mouse fuss and try to break their personality, tied to society, in order to thus gain rewarded enlightenment.
Nowadays, the ancient meaning of enlightenment has long been lost, and the concept has simply become a fashionable trend to indicate its significance. An adequate person will try on this title only out of strategic necessity, realizing how contradictory it is met - with mistrust, alternating with blind idealization.
Fanatical seekers, as usual, receive not enlightenment, but lifelong depression, and in advanced cases, a complete separation from reality. A madhouse is not a place, but a state of mind.
A depressed personality, deprived of external nourishment, withdraws into itself, becomes painfully exhausted and fades. Its fragmented remains continue to peer into what they desire, but find there a hopeless, frightening emptiness.
Sometimes such self-suffocation actually forces one to search for new resources, and the person begins to draw from himself - first he burns out himself, then he switches to the resources of the unconscious. If alienation from oneself has not crossed critical boundaries, the seeker can reassemble himself, crystallize a new layer of personality that resonates with the real.
Therefore, as always, everything is good in moderation. A person must receive his own “food”, his own meanings. Otherwise, by immoderately withdrawing into oneself, one loses awareness and falls into despondency.
Buddhahood is not just an unattainable ideal. Just like championship titles in sports. They are reached. Units. But for the average person, belief in one’s chosenness is almost always idealization—a psychological drug. Even the image of a humble saint can become another “silicone” fetish for the amusement of pride. And the contrast with the ideal will poison the soul with guilt and fear of deprivation of the only meaning that is not devalued.
This is dislike for oneself, rejection of oneself, and attached to them is dislike for life. So-so people are forbidden to be mere mortals.
Admitting your own mistakes is the most difficult thing. Otherwise, everyone would have become enlightened long ago. But the psyche knows only one way to recovery - and this is the transformation of unrealistic beliefs into the acceptance of the ultimate truth of this single period of time here and now.
Remember death
For many, death is a taboo topic. No one wants to remind themselves that sooner or later existence will come to an end. Most either ignore it or laugh it off because thinking about it is depressing. However, there is something useful in thinking about death: motivation to live.
People who are close to death often realize what was truly important to them. They gain a desire to live, their motivation is so high that they forget about all the everyday nonsense and focus on what really matters.
Think about your death and answer a few questions:
- What will be left after you?
- What will matter at the end of life?
- If the end is near, will you be happy with your days?
These are probably the questions that frighten people when they think about death. It’s better to ask yourself them now, because you still have enough time to change everything.
Escape and freedom
Desires give two possible directions. They strive either for freedom or for security. These directions usually lead in opposite directions. In the direction of freedom we come face to face with fear. In the direction of security, freedom is lost.
The desire for freedom encourages oneself to reveal and manifest so that the voice of the soul can be heard. In practice, a person simply does what he loves, expresses his uniqueness, at the risk of being judged.
The desire for safety encourages oneself to close and protect, so that the soul is not at risk of being injured. Her voice fades to barely audible, and her personality becomes withdrawn and ceases to feel that in this life she loves - it is too dangerous - to follow the call of her heart. In practice, a person does whatever he wants, just not to take risks. He tries to be an inconspicuous “nobody”, blends in with his surroundings so as not to be subject to possible condemnation.
Only the expression of personal potential allows you to love your life. That is, passing through the barriers of fear is an obligatory challenge on the path of spiritual growth and a joyful life. Suffering is reduced when a person overcomes fears and receives his food - fresh impressions.
Imagine that you have no fear at all. What would you do? Give this fantasy at least a minute.
You can simply approach a stranger from the crowd that you like, and at the risk of seeming crazy, still get acquainted. You get the drive from life not within tired four walls, but in unpredictable spontaneity.
Value the process, not the result
Having a goal is necessary. When you think about what you are striving for, your motivation increases. This is a good side, but there is also a bad side. You focus too much on the future. You regard every action today as a contribution to the future. Your entire present is dedicated to the future. This can lead to despondency. You will make efforts, but you will not see the real results of your work. Your goal should become just a guideline, not the meaning of life. Live here and now. Enjoy the process.
Stereotypes
Another popular way to not love life, tightly shutting up the voice of the soul, is the fear of being an abnormal black sheep and the subsequent stereotypical existence. For example, when a creative streak dominates in your soul, but stereotypes require you to become an office worker, start a family and take out a mortgage. The example is trivial, but it reflects national trends.
Stereotypes, in their voracious demands, are similar to ideals, but they manipulate not so much the transcendental carrot of success as the whip of guilt and humiliation for disobeying their dictates. Stereotypes can be given their due - they encourage one to achieve relatively realistic goals, in the spirit: build a cottage, plant a bonsai, conceive heirs, so that through them you can “continue” - if you didn’t do it yourself - make way for your descendants.
One of my friends, emphasizing his desire for freedom, more than once offered his interlocutors a small visualization. If you believe in rebirth, imagine that you have been building houses and raising children cyclically for a hundred lives. Introduced?
And the majority really need all this for self-satisfaction - either nature still resonates with the standards of society, or it has been thoroughly sold to it - and does not know any other comfort. Layers of personality given to feed stereotypes can drown out the voice of the soul to a barely perceptible sadness about something that has not come true.
Life is a compromise
At some point you will have to look at your life and make a difficult decision. Getting rid of toxic people is not easy, because you also have to leave behind years of shared memories. If you want to improve your skills, you will have to sacrifice your time. If you want to move to another city where there are more opportunities, you will have to break ties with your hometown.
Every choice has consequences. And you will always have to look for compromises. To love life, you have to accept this: things don't always go the way you planned. Accept your imperfect decisions, accept your imperfect world. The choices you make define your life and make it unique. Don't be afraid of difficulties. They can teach you new things and give meaning to your life.
Inflation of love
The main pitfall of idealization is discounting all past meanings in favor of one decisive one. The idealist “sends to hell” everything that previously pleased him, as if announcing to the world that he no longer needs it. Alienated from all past meanings, he throws all his eggs into one non-existent basket - that is, into nowhere. And when the loss is discovered, a gaping hole is formed in the soul.
With the beginning of idealization, everything that nourished the soul is devalued, interests are erased. And after the intoxication of false happiness, a depressive hangover begins. Life in general begins to seem empty and meaningless.
In words, self-deception seems clearly obvious. In fact, everyone deceives themselves this way. It is the nature of the mind to push aside the real in favor of hoping for the best.
To idealize means not to love your real life, but to put an end to it and despise it, so that it becomes a forgotten step to the feet of a fake deity with exorbitant demands.
They are seduced by ideals simply because they like to amuse themselves with hope. And the more fabulous the hope, the more love its plot evokes. Probably everyone, deep down in their souls, irrationally feels special - and therefore worthy of metaphysical grace.
Why I love life!
Whether there was another life before this one is impossible not to prove, not to refute. But if there was, then I can only guess now about the reason why I am on Earth.
I feel my life as a given, an inevitability that cannot be jumped over, cannot be ignored, cannot be pretended that it is not mine, or not only mine. Its meaning can be delegated to children, husband, or you can come up with some purpose for it in order to relieve existential anxiety. But all this will resemble a dart hitting an eight, a nine, but not a ten.
Life is not a collection of pleasures, successes, surprises and successes for which one could love it. Life is an opportunity that is given to us so that we can come to ourselves, and be able to stay with this feeling forever and live, I want to believe, endlessly...
“I just wish I could find my “I”, and then go anywhere - be it in the sand, or in the middle of nowhere...” Y. Shevchuk “Sunshine”.
What pushes us to go somewhere? What makes us read smart books and consult psychologists? What makes us cling to life, especially when it more closely resembles not a caring and kind mother, but a mean and cruel stepmother?
I remember my early childhood, when I was two years old I really loved drawing portraits of the Suns. On my wall hung a whole gallery of Suns with different faces, cheerful, funny, rosy, wearing beads, with bows and crowns.
I remember that feeling when the pure, spontaneous Joy of being was still alive. But if I knew what I was going to experience in the next 40 years, these feelings would seem like a vile trap to me.
Now I don’t mean something out of the ordinary, although this has a place in my life: my mother’s refusal in the maternity hospital, the emotional rejection of my grandmother, who for many years posed as her mother, the repeated betrayal of her father, who posed as his brother, alcoholism father-grandfather, loss of trust in everyone and everything. Although these are phenomena that occur in people’s lives, they are not often all at once, and not for everyone. But I'm talking about something else now.
I’m talking about how we are losing the childish love of life inherent in nature itself. About how difficult, and for some, painful realities, disappointments, pain, first steps. How difficult the process of “increasing matter per soul” is. But even more difficult is the reverse process - the search for Yourself, already different, changed, cognized, but Alive, similar to that distant child, only wiser.
“We are immured by the Creator into damned eternal life. Just remembering this in yourself is quite difficult...” Yu. Shevchuk “Sunshine”
Now, when so much has been passed, experienced, conquered, and much has been seen again and differently, I still feel pain, although I am infinitely happy. And I don't want to take away this pain. You can’t get away from her, just like you can’t get away from yourself. Only by accepting this pain, I was able to discover a treasure in it: pure, non-possessive love is hidden there, when one loves not for something. There lies a sweet and living experience of love for everyone who was once present and is present in my life now: heartfelt pity, tenderness and gratitude.
Signals about the return of Life are trumpeted incessantly - these are living experiences of moments of beauty, intimacy, anger, pain, love, victory. I'm going to surrender to Life, I'm starting to trust it!
We are all, as it were, equal, but each with his own history goes through the required path, making certain choices. And now I clearly understand what moves, often unconsciously, every person in life: the inevitability of searching for Self.
Simple psychological techniques to love life
The existing ways and methods for feeling love for life and experiencing joy work in many situations. If at the moment you do not have the opportunity to introspect and find out the reasons for dislike, but you want to change the state of things, then you can resort to effective techniques. First, you need to learn to laugh. Choose a suitable occasion or situation, some ridiculous incidents and mistakes, and laugh. Let it be through force at first.
For example, take some of your fears and exaggerate it, reaching the point of absurdity. The grotesque approach will help you find humor even in a seemingly hopeless situation. Since our subconscious and psyche are in close contact with the body, the mood is transmitted to the body. Therefore, laughter through force will only be beneficial.
Surround yourself with people who are better than you. A person is designed in such a way that on a subconscious level he strives for those who are close to him. Surround yourself with optimists, those people who admire you, younger, beautiful and successful - they have more energy, cheerfulness, they have a million ideas on how to have a better time. Due to such an environment, self-esteem increases, a desire to achieve new heights and, accordingly, a love for life appears.
Life in the Flow. How to understand that you are in the Flow, a simple test!
When a person sits in one place, there is a “swamp” around him, nothing new happens and people do not strive for development and career growth, then his life loses color, it seems gray and dull, the person himself does not want to notice prospects. And in those places where people are active, life is in full swing, anyone is ready to turn the world upside down to achieve their goals - their own energy breaks through.
Gratitude is something that can change our lives for the better. Say thank you to everyone who has done something good for you, thank the Universe for the slightest joy. Even from a seemingly unpleasant situation you can benefit and gain experience. A “boring” day without events can be grateful for the fact that you are alive and your loved ones too. Let your perception of the world around you notice only positive moments, and the more you see them, the more often they will happen in your life.
How to love people
It is impossible to love life if you don't love people. When your neighbors annoy you, your boss pesters you, or your friends betray you, life seems terrible. But it’s worth reconsidering your attitude towards others, and you will immediately feel better.
- Look for something positive in people. You can even write down all the person’s virtues so that you always remember them. Sergey is an excellent conversationalist. Maria is a wonderful cook and knows how to receive guests. Even if you don’t like a person at all, there is a lot of good in him and you can find common ground with him.
- Express positive feelings. Do you want to receive? Then give it away. The more you give, the more you will receive. Hug people whenever possible, do it from the heart. This will make it easier for you to establish contact with them. In this way, you can not only find harmony and joy, but also increase your own self-esteem.
- Smile when meeting strangers. To begin with, try smiling at people in the elevator or in the next courtyard, instead of sullenly immersing yourself in your own thoughts. You may be considered strange, but chances are you will get a smile in return. This means that you were able to melt the ice and bring joy to the person.
- Help without thinking whether they will answer you in kind. Volunteer when possible. Help an elderly neighbor get to the clinic, or invite distant, poor relatives to dinner. The main thing is that you feel satisfied with what you do.
