7 signs of envy of work colleagues, and how to react in this case

Why do people envy

An envious person experiences a feeling of deprivation - he probably has moral injuries due to lack of communication with parents and peers. People may be jealous because they cannot realize themselves. In this case, the person does not change anything in life, but at the same time envyes more successful colleagues, friends or neighbors.

A person may incorrectly evaluate himself - envious people believe that they are the smartest and have more talents than others. They often do not understand why people do not notice their abilities, and they believe that they deserve the best benefits.

Black and white feeling of envy

It's no secret that everyone envies differently. In the language of psychologists, this is a “benevolent” and “evil” manifestation.

The feeling of white envy is the desire to possess what others have. However, without wanting to harm anyone. That is, an envious person is friendly. In addition, such envy can become motivation for new achievements by the envious person.

Black envy is not such a good feeling as the previous type. It can destroy an envious person from the inside and reduce the quality of his life. Envying the success of others, such a person wants harm to those towards whom he has a negative feeling. He gloats during other people’s failures, and someone else’s success angers and darkens the life of the envious person.

How to deal with envy?

Of course, it is best to close your heart to negativity. But anything can happen in life. If such destructive

the feeling still sprouts, then you need to fight it. For this we recommend:

• Engage in self-development - set clear goals, become a strong and independent person, realize your uniqueness. It is worth remembering that all people are different, each has their own potential, opportunities in life, and their own mission.
• Learn to control your emotions and feelings - you should not allow negativity (dissatisfaction, irritability) to take over.
• Increase self-esteem - an adequate assessment of your own potential and clear principles help overcome envy.
• Learn to analyze the situation - sometimes a person envyes blindly, imagining the ideal life of others. But in reality, everything may not be as it seems.
• Learn to set priorities - you need to appreciate what you have in life. We must strive to achieve more, but without envying other people's benefits and success.
• Switch - if you are overcome by a depressing feeling, you need to direct all your energy in the right direction. This could be work, hobbies, meditation, sports, etc. Such distraction is an effective way in our fight.
• Use the help of specialists - sometimes a person cannot cope with the problem alone and a good solution would be to turn to specialists.

Signs of an envious person?

With its signs, envy in a person can be detected without much difficulty. Facial expressions and gestures, behavior patterns help with this. Namely:

• envious people smile strainedly, but without hatred and hostility;
• eyes are full of sadness and sadness;
• there is no sincerity in facial expressions;
• head tilted to the side, wandering gaze;
• squinting of the eyes for no obvious reason;
• attempts to cover with hands;
• the envious person takes closed poses;
• detachment from the interlocutor;
• restrained and constrained movements.

If we talk about the behavior pattern of an envious person, then he:

• intrigues against people of whom he is envious;
• gossips;
• ingratiates himself, behaves like a best friend;
• own existence, keeps all problems secret;
• does not openly enter into confrontation due to his inadequacy;
• has suicidal tendencies.

An envious person often suffers from neuroses, mood disorders, infantilism, passive aggressiveness, hysterics, etc. In such cases, it is often impossible to do without psychiatric help.

Why do people envy?

Why does a person envy? This manifestation is explained:

• unmet needs;
• lack of funds;
• self-dislike;
• lack of success in life.

Much depends on the upbringing and attitudes of parents instilled in childhood. If a child does not know how to accept himself as he is, was deprived of parental attention and warmth, was punished for any disobedience, and was not given the opportunity to dispose of his own toys, things, etc. at his own discretion, then he will grow up to be a complex person. self-critical person, incapable of being happy. And such people are often overcome by envy of the well-being and success of others.

These individuals live by constantly comparing themselves to someone else. They see the good in other people's lives without noticing it in their own.

Getting rid of negative feelings

How to stop being jealous of others? Awareness of the problem is already the first right step on the path to deliverance. The following are the steps:

• Finding out the cause - searching for and eliminating provoking factors. It is possible to solve the problem independently or with the help of a specialist (psychotherapist).
• Auto-training and performing special exercises - there are special techniques to help cope with destructive feelings. For example, you can write down on a piece of paper and hang it in a visible place everything that could lead to envy. This stimulates the fight against negative manifestations.
• Self-control is a difficult stage, but quite doable. It is necessary to monitor “attacks” and analyze the signs of manifestation. When someone else's success causes dissatisfaction or irritation, you should distract yourself from these emotions in any way. Any positive impression will do.
• Change – this stage requires a change in thinking. It should only be on a positive note.
• Development, personal growth - those who are complex, limited, and unsure of themselves often become envious. By overcoming these shortcomings in themselves, people become less vulnerable to such negative feelings.

Signs of envious people

Every person has experienced envy at least once. However, it is not so easy to recognize an envious person. There are some signs that indicate that you are envied.

Competition and imitation

Often people prone to envy, on a subconscious level, try to seem better than you and try to imitate you. They may communicate in the same manner as you, or they may change their clothing style. Such people tend to struggle for the position of leader; they can be arrogant and try to look better than others.

Insincere compliments

If people become jealous, they may give you compliments that sound insincere. This may be due to the fact that envious people hide their feelings. The way out in such a situation would be to compliment the enemy.

Japanese parable about envy

In one village in Japan there lived a samurai. One fine day, a young warrior came to him, who was known in his circle as very cruel and aggressive. He won fights by infuriating his opponent. He was nervous, made mistakes and ultimately suffered defeat.

The young man began to humiliate the old samurai - he threw stones at him, called him names, and swore. But the old man continued to go about his business, not paying any attention to the aggressor. In the end, the offender got tired of the senseless slander and left.

The samurai's students were very surprised and asked why the teacher did not react to the insults. They even suggested that he was afraid of defeat. To which he asked them:

• If you are given a gift, but you do not accept it, then whose will it be?
• The one who gives it, answered the students
• The same goes for feelings and words. As long as you do not accept them, they will belong to the one who pronounces them.

This parable talks about how you should behave if someone is jealous of you. The wise samurai did not react in any way to the insults of the evil youth, and therefore other people's envy and curses did not affect him in any way.

How to recognize an envious person around you

You can protect yourself from an envious person if you recognize him and stop communicating with him. For example, when you achieve success, he is not sincerely happy for you, but he feels satisfaction if you pay attention to his achievements.

Other recognition methods:

• envious people do not approve of your plans and try to prove that your ideas are ridiculous. However, there are people who really look at things and can give good advice;
• envious people often pretend to be happy for you; a forced smile can hide their real attitude towards you;
• criticism in public - a person may tell you that you will not achieve your goal and will not implement your plans;
• their advice is aimed at making you fail - if this is obvious, you should limit communication with this person.

Envious people feel joy when their rivals fail and get annoyed if their opponent has become successful and achieved his goals.

What you need to know about communicating with envious people

No matter how much a person wants it, there is always someone envious next to him. You need to communicate with them correctly:

1. If possible, reduce meetings to a minimum.
2. Explain that success was achieved through exorbitant efforts, that they had to work day and night, forgetting about their relatives.
3. Do not share your happiness with strangers, as happiness loves silence.
4. In case of failure, you should only turn to your family for help.
5. It is better to ignore gossip addressed to you, then it will quickly subside.

Don't be like gossipers. If they start discussing someone in front of you, it is better to step aside. After all, as a rule, they gossip about those who are not around, and this is humiliating.

How do you react to envious people?

How to deal with envious people correctly

If possible, it is better to limit communication with people who are jealous. If this is not possible, try talking to the person directly and discussing their feelings for you. Maybe after this the envious person will stop discussing you and rejoicing at your failures - such people are often cowardly and after a conversation they can change their behavior.

To avoid gossip, do not talk about your successes and failures to strangers, share any news only with those you trust. There is no need to complain about problems, do not get into conflict with envious people.

The Roots of Envy

Why are people envious? This destructive feeling appears in early childhood. And, as often happens, adults themselves are to blame for this. Of course, moms and dads only want the best. Every adult, when he was a child, could hear something similar: “Look, Olya is so good at drawing, and what about you?” How does the little person feel? Probably the answer would be something like this: “I hate this Olya! Why do my parents love her more? A child's perception is different from an adult's. Kids have only two categories: “They love me” and “They don’t love me.” By comparing children with each other, adults not only spoil relationships, but also instill in the child feelings of self-doubt, fear, and mistrust. In adulthood, such a child will be afraid to change anything, feeling deprived, offended by the world, and incapable of anything.

What to do if you yourself are jealous of other people

It is difficult to overcome the habit of envy. To get rid of this feeling, learn to control your thoughts and emotions, do not compare yourself with others. Instead of dreams, start implementing plans, appreciate your strengths and everything you have.

Don't compare yourself to friends, family, neighbors and colleagues. You cannot evaluate another person's life objectively. Envy can be turned into a good quality if you start working on yourself to achieve your goals in life. Appreciate what you have and focus on developing your own abilities.

A person is self-sufficient if he does not compare himself with anyone, is proud of his victories and sincerely worries about the failures of his family, and experiences joy if the people around him succeed in achieving their goals.

How to behave so as not to become an object of envy

Of course, if you have already become an object of envy, nothing can be fixed; you can only hope for a peaceful resolution of the issue. But this fate can be avoided if you behave more carefully, so as not to cause negative emotions in others:

1. Never brag or tell anything unnecessary about yourself. It’s nice, of course, to share your joys and successes, but it’s better to keep your feelings in check. The less others know, the less negativity will fall on you.
2. Never show your superiority, especially at work. The more your boss praises you, the less positive emotions you will evoke among your colleagues. Therefore, even if you became employee of the year, do not boast about it, maintain equal relations with everyone.
3. Attractive people who are successful with the opposite sex often become objects of envy. Therefore, you should not flirt openly, especially for women. Among the fair sex there are too many envious women with unsettled personal lives.
4. Don't forget about tact. Never joke about less fortunate acquaintances, especially in a team or group.
5. Don't put others down. Even if you are successful in your personal life and successful at work, you should not humiliate others. Never start conversations on a personal topic, do not give advice “from above”. This will not lead to anything good.

Your relationship with the world

A person receives negative emotions from others and unpleasant situations only when he himself creates something not very pleasant within himself. This is how the world responds to radiation into space. You should take this as a signal to improve, and not as something insurmountable. And then it may happen that you yourself will understand: not all people are evil and envious, there are those who sincerely rejoice, are inspired by the successes of other people and draw joy from it. Be kind to the world, and it will respond in kind, because you are part of it.

Two winning communication strategies

You can choose two options, depending on the situation. You will either conflict with them or ignore them. Both strategies are most effective, but you need to act according to the situation.

1. Confrontation must be constructive. One tough conversation can be more effective than years of ignoring it. This strategy is suitable if the envious person is someone close to you. If this is a person with whom you have to communicate often, it is better to resolve this issue immediately. You can call the envious person for a conversation and try to understand what the causes of the problem are. To change the situation, you should try to be loving and patient. Close people can help you cope with uncertainty and fears.
2. Ignoring is an equally effective tactic. In 90% of cases, it is better to ignore envious and angry people. Especially if they behave toxically - they belittle and devalue. These people are trying to bring us down to their level, and we shouldn't let them do that. Ignore their hateful comments and remarks.

Just think about whether a relationship with an envious person is dear to you, or whether you can easily let him go from your life. If a person is dear to you and you really want to help him? You can try to understand him and raise his self-esteem .

General concept

Envy , a negative feeling that arises when seeing another person's success and capabilities.

This condition can be severe, painful, or mild and insignificant.

The more severe the envy, the more difficult it is to deal with. People who are very jealous of someone may try to do mean things, even committing crimes, in order to get what they want or to deprive the person of what he has.

Envy is often accompanied by the following emotions:

• anger, malice,
• irritation,
• sadness, sadness (the severity can be different, even deep, preventing a person from living fully),
• resentment (for example, in relation to parents, God, if a person is a believer and believes that God could be more favorable to him).

It is important to understand that envy is closely related to the feeling of dissatisfaction with one's own life, and the more dissatisfied a person is, the more envious he will be of those who, in his opinion, are more successful and happy.

If a person is satisfied with life , he will occasionally feel only a very slight, “white” envy or will not feel it at all.

People experiencing envy may:

• insult those who are envied,
• criticize them (even in an aggressive manner),
• at every opportunity to talk about them in a negative light,
• apply various violence to them (physical, psychological, sexual),
• decide to commit murder or another serious crime.

At the same time, not all envious people will actually demonstrate negative emotions. For a feeling of envy to push them to do something serious, it must be very strong , unbearable.

Envy, like any negative feeling, is normal .

It is important to accept the existence of this feeling and work with the reasons for its appearance, and not with it itself: raise self-esteem, often with the help of a qualified psychologist, fight uncertainty, and learn new skills.

In the scope of boasting

Have you met people who inopportunely tried to become the center of public attention, for example, during someone’s wedding, birthday, in a word, during someone else’s holiday, where he is a guest?

The fact is that envious people never miss an opportunity to brag about their achievements, even if they are not asked about it. Be careful, such people can compete with your success without shame or conscience.

Envy, gossip and secret hatred often come from where you don't expect. Even a loved one can become dissatisfied and experience a feeling of envy; no one is immune from this. Just carefully monitor the people around you and analyze your behavior. And after you have found an envious person, immediately stop communicating with this toxic character.

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Patience and politeness

It became clear why people are envious, but what to do about it? Ideally, just stop communicating. If this cannot be done, be patient. As it became clear, envy is often a consequence of self-doubt. How to behave with envious people if you have to see each other every day as part of a work team? Encourage the one who envies you, praise him, celebrate his successes, be polite. Remember, in any situation you choose whether it owns you or vice versa. Look at what is happening from the outside, as if you were playing an exciting game. This technique will free you from emotions and give you a greater viewing angle. A simple example: when you watch a football match, you can see the entire field, all the players. And the attention of football players is limited to the figure of the ball and its location. By showing respect and politeness to a person who has not the best feelings for you, you yourself will not get dirty in negativity, and you can build a friendly or at least tolerant relationship for yourself.