Lecture notes “Verbal and non-verbal communication, their features and means.”

Communication - an integral part in the life of every person.

By exchanging information, expressing our thoughts, opinions, advice and feelings, we can live normally in society, set goals and confidently approach their achievement.

In disputes, friendly conversations and simple exchanges of information, interlocutors do not always openly express their thoughts and feelings.

Verbal and non-verbal communication - these two components are inherent in the communication of each of us. By being able to recognize the signs of nonverbal communication during a conversation, it is much easier for a person to form the correct opinion about his environment.

The essence of verbal communication - what it is and why it is needed

Verbal communication refers to oral as well as written speech. It is with their help that we can express our opinions, thoughts, openly argue with a companion, give arguments, share impressions with friends, talk about what we saw, heard, read, etc.

When one speaks, the other listens very carefully and responds. This could be agreement, outrage, argument, or simply absorbing new interesting information. The lack of verbal communication makes every person lonely, withdrawn and isolated from the outside world. It is thanks to disputes, explanations and presentation of their thoughts that people come to a compromise and find a way out of difficult situations.

Correctly delivered speech is an important factor in verbal communication, which benefits everyone. How quickly a person can navigate a conversation, answer questions, establish new connections and express thoughts will directly determine his place in this world. When applying for a job, management pays special attention to these factors.

In addition to simple words and sentences, the emotional message plays a particularly important role. By intonation, tone, and speed of explanation, you can understand the mood of the interlocutor. Screaming, dissatisfaction, and criticism most often cause a response in the form of aggression and ignoring the interlocutor. When the boss (friend, parents) chooses the right words and speaks calmly, it is easier for the employee to process the information received, find the mistake made and correct it.

Types of Verbal Communication

Speech communication has its own types. We have already listed the main ones - speech in all its manifestations, dialogue, monologue. The peculiarities of verbal communication are that it also includes private types of communication.

1. A conversation is a verbal exchange of opinions, thoughts, and knowledge. This process can involve two or more people who communicate in a relaxed atmosphere. Conversation is used when an issue is highlighted or an issue is clarified.
2. An interview is a little different from a conversation in that it is formal. The topics of the interviews are narrow professional, scientific or social issues.
3. Dispute is a dispute on scientific or any socially important topics. This type is also included in the concept of “verbal communication”. Communication within the framework of a dispute between people is limited.
4. The discussion, in turn, is also public, but the result is important in it. Here different opinions on a specific issue are discussed, different points of view and positions are presented. As a result, everyone comes to the same opinion and solution to the controversial issue.
5. A dispute is a confrontation of opinions, a kind of verbal struggle in order to defend one’s opinion.

Means of verbal communication

The main means of this type of communication is human speech. It is thanks to spoken (written) words that a person can convey his words, thoughts, and also learn new information. In addition to understanding and knowing words, you need to be able to construct them correctly into a sentence and convey them to your interlocutor.

The following means of verbal communication help with this:

1. Intonation plays an important role in the communication process and helps to show your position regarding the current situation. For a more comfortable conversation, it should be smooth and calm. In this case, all information is easier to understand and perceive by the listener.
2. Voice quality is another important aspect. Of course, everyone has their own timbre and voice. But his training and ability to possess him plays to his advantage. After all, quite often there are people with very loud or quiet voices by nature. This makes conversations uncomfortable because others have to listen or feel uncomfortable because of the noise. Insecure individuals most often speak almost in a whisper, quickly and swallowing the ending. Ambitious and purposeful – they pronounce phrases clearly, loudly and clearly.
3. Rate of speech is another means that can tell a lot about a person’s feelings in a given situation. The type of temperament also plays a significant role. Melancholic and phlegmatic people, unlike sanguine and choleric people, are slow in conversation.
4. Logical and phrasal stress allow each person to highlight the most important details in his story. Our perception of the information we hear depends on the correct emphasis in words.

How does communication differ from the concept of communication?

Communication covers all aspects of human contacts. These include contacts with nature, with neighbors, and at work. Communication is subject to certain requirements and rules. This concept presupposes specific goals for communication that at least one of the parties to the communication process has. Verbal communication (speech is its main means) is subject to strict rules, depending on its type. The communicator (a person who takes an active part in the communication process) has specific tasks that are designed to influence the other participant in the conversation. This process is more appropriate in business communication. That is why there is the concept of “verbal business communication,” which is applicable only in official communication and involves verbal exchange of information.

What is nonverbal communication?

By not paying attention to signs of nonverbal communication, people can make big mistakes. Many people listen with their ears, despite the fact that the interlocutor’s “body language” screams the opposite.

Nonverbal language is expressed in several forms that differ from each other.

1. Kinesics includes pantomime, facial expressions and gestures. Quite often, in an emotional conversation, a person begins to wave his arms (gestures), make faces (facial expressions) or take a closed pose with his arms crossed over his chest (pantomimes). Any even inconspicuous movements during a conversation can become a sign of disdain, mistrust, arrogance, affection or respect.

By learning to notice little things and understand the mood of your interlocutor, you can avoid quarrels and unnecessary conflicts, and also wait for the right moment to achieve your goal and a calm mood. After all, quite often you can see from a person in what mood he returned from work (study). This may include a heavy, stooped gait, prolonged silence, reluctance to answer questions, or closed postures. If you approach a relative (friend) with reproaches and aggression over a trifle, it will be impossible to avoid a reciprocal outburst of emotions.

2. Takeshika is another form of non-verbal communication. Without knowing its basics, conflicts and misunderstandings often arise between people. Touching is the main component of this type. Handshakes, hugs, pats on the shoulder and much more include takeshika. Depending on how exactly these movements are carried out (distance, compression force, etc.) the mood or attitude of a person towards his interlocutor directly depends.

Quite often on public transport during rush hour people have to crowd together. In this case, many suffer discomfort and feel uncomfortable. Intense proximity due to crowding leads to the fact that people unintentionally invade each other's personal space (the range of which is from 115 to 45 cm). On a subconscious level, this is regarded as a danger and causes responses in the form of dissatisfaction and constraint.

3. The components of prosody are volume, intonation and pitch of the voice. They are more recognizable and understandable signs for most people. Almost everyone knows what a raised voice and harsh intonation mean.

4. Extralinguistics are additional reactions during a conversation. This includes laughter, sighs, surprising exclamations and pauses in speech.

Extralinguistics and prosody act as an addition to verbal communication. With their help, you can determine the mood and emotional state of your interlocutor.

We learn from children - and not a single liar can be such in front of us

Therefore, we need to learn from children.
Moreover, to develop the ability to recognize lies, the same exercises and games are used as for this age group. We also need to learn these poems that we didn’t like so much at school. They develop memory, which can help remember one person's nonverbal language when he is lying and do so more easily in the future.

This is a complex science - recognizing liars. But we need to use it if we want to be great bosses, parents, spouses, and even children.

Semichaevskaya Maria · 11 Jul, 2018

Building relationships, taking into account the secrets of nonverbal communication

In the process of communication, both verbal and nonverbal types of communication are equally important for a person. Good orientation and understanding of “body language” will allow you to avoid deception, see your opponent’s true feelings or hide your own. Speakers are particularly knowledgeable and oriented to the principles of conversation and communication in two languages. Artists, philanthropists, politicians and other speakers use self-control in all interviews and speeches. This helps not to reveal true thoughts and feelings and avoid condemnation from the public.

Taking into account all the nuances of nonverbal communication, as well as correctly recognizing its essence, each person will be able to understand their interlocutors, establish profitable relationships and achieve their goals. The ability to speak correctly and win over listeners guarantees trust, desire to cooperate and help.

Establishing personal and business relationships or avoiding scams and deception - all this is possible if you correctly recognize the message that manifests itself on the subconscious level of the interlocutor. Sometimes facial expressions, posture and gestures say much more than words.

Basic secrets that will help you recognize a person’s true emotions in the process of communication:

1. Excessively intense hand gestures indicate emotional arousal. Too sudden movements are a sign that the narrator is trying his best to convey to the listener the information being conveyed. Most often, friends talk in this way about their victories and achievements, situations that have happened in their lives.

It is worth noting that a person’s nationality and temperament play a significant role in this factor. It is known that the Portuguese and Italians almost always use gestures during conversations. Finns are more reserved and reserved. Our country is at the center of this bar.

2. Many of us are accustomed to reading emotions in the face of our interlocutor. A malicious grin speaks of gloating. Raised eyebrows indicate surprise. A narrowed look of distrust. Looking at the facial expressions of your acquaintances, you can note a lot of useful information for yourself.

Eye contact is an important element of any dialogue. The level of their relationship depends on how easy it is for people to look each other in the eyes. When there is discomfort, deceit, lies and hypocrisy, a person always looks away or tries to avoid direct contact. A very long and intent gaze from an unfamiliar person or stranger is evidence of a negative and aggressive attitude on his part. During the communication process, each participant in the conversation should feel comfortable and at ease.

3. Gait is part of pantomime and can tell a lot about a person. Looking from the outside, you can see the internal state and mood of the person walking. A raised head and a long stride always indicate confidence and a positive attitude. Slouched shoulders, heavy movement of the legs, and a downcast gaze always indicate the opposite, namely, a bad mood, thoughtfulness and concern. When angry, the gait is most often abrupt and fast.

4. The interlocutor’s posture is another very important point that can tell a lot about the interlocutor’s mood for communication, his attitude towards the narrator and everything that is happening. Everyone knows that arms crossed on the chest indicate isolation, reluctance to communicate or share the point of view of your opponent.

Little things like this play a significant role in the process of building a career. After all, if during a discussion (creating a project, distributing responsibilities), the boss or employees nod and agree, while being in a closed position, one should doubt their sincerity and desire to support.

Giving someone something to hold can encourage them to open up. A turned body and a free (not crossed) position of legs and arms indicate openness, sincerity and a desire to communicate. To relieve the discomfort during a promise, which is felt upon first meeting, you can listen to the advice of psychologists and try to mirror his postures, facial expressions and gestures. This way, you can tune in to the wavelength of your interlocutor and establish contact.

mirror, that is, repeat the pose, gestures and facial expressions of the interlocutor. This way, you can tune in to the same wavelength and make communication easier.

5. A handshake can also tell a lot about the attitude of men towards each other. A squeeze that is too tight indicates a person’s power and aggressiveness. A barely noticeable squeezing of the fingers indicates uncertainty.

Gaining trust and winning over listeners, making them trust and form friendships - all this is possible if you curb your emotions and learn to use nonverbal communication correctly. Quite often, the basis of trust in missions from sectarian churches, managers, politicians, and speakers lies in their correct disposition towards themselves. Posture, intonation, presentation of information, gaze - all these little things are of particular importance in the process of speaking, business negotiations, searching for investors, etc.

It can take years to learn to completely take control of your feelings and prove what is said through nonverbal communication.

Rules for Effective Communication Proposed by Keith Davis

Professor Keith Davis has outlined the following 10 rules for effective listening.

1. It's impossible to take in information when you're talking, so stop talking.
2. Help your interlocutor relax. It is necessary to make a person feel freedom, that is, to create a relaxed atmosphere.
3. The speaker should show your willingness to listen. You should act and look interested. When listening to another, try to understand him, and not look for reasons for objections.
4. Annoying moments must be eliminated. Avoid tapping on the table, drawing, or shuffling papers while communicating. Perhaps information will be perceived better with the door closed?
5. The speaker should empathize. To do this, try to imagine yourself in his place.
6. Be patient. Don't interrupt your interlocutor, don't waste time.
7. Keep your temper. If a person is angry, he gives the wrong meaning to his words.
8. Avoid criticism and controversy. This puts the person speaking on the defensive. He may also become angry or silent. No need to argue. In fact, you will lose if you win the argument.
9. Ask your interlocutor questions. This will encourage him and show him that he is being listened to.
10. And finally, stop talking. This advice comes first and last, since all the others depend on it.

In addition to the ability to effectively listen to your interlocutor, there are other ways to improve the art of communication. Before communicating ideas, you need to clarify them, that is, you should systematically analyze and think about the issues, ideas or problems you plan to communicate to another. If you want to achieve success in your career or personal life, it is very important to take into account the various features of interpersonal interaction. Researchers say that, along with verbal (verbal) communication, it is necessary to take into account the non-verbal language that people use.

Why is knowledge of nonverbal communication so important in the modern world?

Quite often, people misperceive the feelings and intentions of their acquaintances. In addition to body language, there is also an internal state or habits. A closed posture does not always indicate a biased attitude towards the interlocutor. It happens that something has happened to a person or he is not in the mood to engage in fun discussions and share his thoughts. It all depends on emotions and inner mood.

That is why the ability to notice all the little things and compare them with each other helps to find friends, understand relatives (acquaintances), not rush to conclusions and form the right opinion.

Internal features also play a significant role. Most people have their own habits. Some tut, others curl their lips into a tube (gnaw them), raise their eyebrows, and so on. Such habits cannot be attributed to nonverbal communication and equated to personal relationships.

Starting to learn the secrets of nonverbal communication and compare subconscious signals with spoken phrases, you should pay attention to your behavior. By conducting self-analysis and observing how the body reacts to different phrases, people and events, each person will be able to more adequately understand others.

By being able to recognize (understand) body language, a person will be able to find true friends and like-minded people, achieve goals, gain the interest of listeners and see negative envious people and liars.

If you find an error, please select a piece of text and press Ctrl+Enter.

A word about individuality and uniqueness

In fact, not all people will show all the signs described in this article when lying.
Some may exhibit “symptoms of untruth” while telling the truth. Each person is individual. Someone may even feel like a liar, even though they are telling the absolute truth. It happens that unfair accusations already confuse a person’s soul and he feels awkward.

We can say that the signs that will be described further are not indicators of lying. Rather, they are symptoms that demonstrate the uncertainty and anxiety that can often accompany lying. Therefore, these signs cannot be used by themselves.

All films like “The Theory of Lies” are nothing more than a fairy tale. And even there, the help of Laitman’s team was only one element of the investigation.

Believe me, people are very annoyed when the slightest nervous tic is pointed out to them and they are told that he is lying. Any microexpression can be provoked not by the fact that a person is lying, but by certain memories or emotions that are not connected due to the lie. You need to check the factual material. If a person is suspected of committing a crime, then checking for lies is good, but in addition to this, you need to collect facts.

People can also skillfully hide their non-verbalism and many simply know how to lie. In fact, you don't have to be 007 to have these skills. It's enough just to lie regularly. Then a person may not have anxiety, and even if he does, it can be hidden. Skilled liars are good actors, and in order to expose them, you need to use the same factual material.

Clothing as a way of nonverbal communication

In communication between people, some other methods of non-verbal communication are known. For example, these include jewelry and clothing. Let's say if an employee comes to work in smart clothes, we can assume from this sign that today is his birthday or he has an important meeting ahead. The use of clothing as a means of communication is often practiced in politics. For example, the cap of Luzhkov, the former mayor of Moscow, announced that he was a mayor “of the people,” a “hard worker” mayor.

Thus, nonverbal behavior of a person in psychology can be considered in many aspects. This phenomenon is of interest not only to scientists, but also to ordinary people. It is not surprising, because the culture of nonverbal behavior, like the culture of speech, is used in everyday life. The ability to correctly interpret words and gestures is useful to everyone. A deep understanding of the meaning of people's verbal/non-verbal behavior contributes to effective communication.

Facial expressions in animals and primitive people

It should be noted that not only humans, but also higher animals have facial expressions as non-verbal communicative behavior. Although the grimaces of apes are similar to those of humans, they often express different meanings. In particular, grinning, which humans might mistake for a smile, conveys threat in monkeys. The animal raises its gums to show off its fangs. Many mammals (wolves, tigers, dogs, etc.) do the same.

By the way, this sign of threat, apparently, was once characteristic of humans. This confirms that a grin among a number of primitive peoples is not only a smile, but also a sign of bitterness or threat. For these peoples, fangs subconsciously still serve as military weapons. By the way, in modern culture, the memory of this meaning of such a grimace has been preserved: there is a phraseological unit “show teeth”, the meaning of which is “to demonstrate a threat or resistance.”

Signals sent by the eyes

Signals sent by the eyes also relate to facial expressions. Women are known to shoot their eyes when flirting. You can say “yes” by blinking your eyelashes. An open, direct look into the eyes of the interlocutor is considered a sign of a free and strong person. This view has its biological roots. Among primitive peoples, as well as in the animal world, it is often a challenge. Gorillas, for example, tolerate people near them, but a person should not look into the eyes of the leader, since the latter will regard this as an encroachment on his leadership in the herd. There are known cases when a cameraman was attacked by a male gorilla, because the animal thought that the flashing camera lens was a challenge, a direct look into the eyes. And today in human society such non-verbal behavior is considered courageous. It is known that when people are unsure of themselves, when they are timid, they look away.

Gestures and postures

Body and hand movements convey a lot of information about a person. In particular, they reveal the immediate emotional reactions of the individual and the state of his body. They allow the interlocutor to judge what kind of temperament a person has, what kind of reactions he has (strong or weak, inert or mobile, slow or fast). In addition, body movements and various postures reflect many character traits, a person’s degree of self-confidence, impetuosity or caution, looseness or tightness. The social status of the individual is also reflected in them.

Expressions like “straighten your shoulders” or “stand half-bent” are not just descriptions of postures. They determine what psychological state an individual is in. It should also be noted that gestures and posture are non-verbal human behavior in which the cultural norms acquired by the individual are manifested. For example, if a man is well-mannered, he will not talk while sitting if his interlocutor is a woman and she is standing. This rule applies regardless of how a man evaluates the personal merits of a given woman.

Signs that are transmitted by the body are very important during the first meeting, since aspects of the personality of the interlocutor’s character do not appear immediately. For example, if you are applying for a job, you should sit up straight during the interview. This will demonstrate your interest. You should also look your interlocutor in the eyes, but not too persistently.

The following is regarded as an aggressive body position: a person is in tension, he is ready to move. The body of such a person is moved slightly forward, as if he is preparing to throw. This pose seems to signal that aggression is possible on his part.

Gestures play a very important role in communication. To attract attention, you can wave your hand invitingly. You can make an irritable dismissive gesture, twirl your hand at your temple. Applause means gratitude or greeting. A handclap or two is a way to get attention. Interestingly, clapping was used to attract the attention of the gods in a number of pagan religions (before sacrifice or prayer). Actually, modern applause came from there. The arsenal of meanings that were and are transmitted by hand clapping is very wide. This is understandable, because this gesture is one of the few that produce sound, and quite loudly.