What is the danger of teenage depression and how to prevent it?

Tears are a normal emotional reaction characteristic of every person.

Increased tearfulness

manifested by excessive emotional sensitivity to external factors: for example, listening to music, watching a movie, talking, or even remembering something. “Eyes on a wet spot” is what people call this phenomenon.

Increased tearfulness is not always a symptom of a disease. Overwork (in the language of doctors - asthenia) often manifests itself as increased emotionality in the form of tearfulness, irritability, drowsiness or insomnia.

Complete rest and isolation from external irritants, in such cases, completely restore the condition. Hormonal changes in the body during menopause and PMS can also cause tearfulness.

Increased tearfulness

and tearfulness can be a symptom of a painful condition. Most often - the initial stage of the disease process.

Psychiatrists have noted that many severe mental disorders (psychosis, schizophrenia, etc.) begin with mild symptoms, such as sleep disturbances, changes in appetite, and increased tearfulness. Only after some time, these phenomena are joined by more severe manifestations of the disease in the form of delusions, hallucinations, and changes in consciousness.

But there are also diseases (for example, neuroses and depression) for which increased tearfulness can be one of the main symptoms of the disease.

Where do evil parents come from?

When my husband and I realized that yelling and assault did not work, we began to look for other ways to restore a peaceful environment in the family.

I’ll say right away: everything worked out very quickly when we understood the main reason - happy, rested, fulfilled parents do not break into yelling, much less spanking. Therefore, we need to start with the main thing.

No amount of psychology will help if your physical condition is close to critical. You can work as much as you like with the best psychologists in the country, but if you are very tired and sleep little, you will one way or another break into shouting and assault .

If we don’t get enough sleep regularly, a lot of the stress hormone cortisol is released into the blood. This hormone makes us aggressive and irritable. And it is stronger than any psychological gadgets.

“This is so right, it’s a pity I didn’t understand this a few months ago. The exhaustion was severe, vomiting every day. I didn’t even know it was possible to be so tired! The children and my husband, of course, were the first to be hit, and I honestly tried to control myself, and then I started crying all day long! My beloved husband took me on vacation without children! I miss the children, but I will bring them the best mother.”

“Sometimes my daughter asks me: “Mom, did you get enough sleep?” Well, because I often say that I didn’t get enough sleep, that’s why I’m angry.”

Advertising

Why can't you yell at children?

Screaming at its core is a manifestation of aggression. When aggression comes from the dearest and closest people, the child experiences it very hard.

If a child grows up in an atmosphere of constant screaming, scandals and parental nervous breakdowns, he suffers from:

Personal development

The child gradually becomes withdrawn, anxious, unsure of himself, and often cries. Mental development is inhibited, it becomes difficult for him to perceive and remember new information. He is always in a shell, as it were, protecting him from the outside world. The child begins to be afraid of situations of failure (answers at the board, competitions, public speaking) and new acquaintances.

As adults, such people seek constant support and approval for their actions; it is difficult for them to change jobs or meet new people, because... they subconsciously expect failure and aggression from others.

Social development

The child does not develop basic trust in the world. If the closest and most beloved person, like mom or dad, offends, then anyone can offend. The child stops trusting others and has problems building friendships and love relationships.

A child whose parents constantly raised their voices will continue to behave in the same way in their family with their children.

Child-parent relationships

Trust and mutual understanding leave the relationship. The child stops sharing his problems for fear of causing a negative reaction from his parents. Thus, mom and dad turn from close people into strangers.

Norm or pathology

You are probably interested to know how other parents behave, whether they yell at their children. We will help you find the answer.

In 2021, psychologists conducted a survey on the streets of Moscow among parents and people who witnessed the screaming scene. Parents were asked whether it is acceptable to yell at a child. And the witnesses were asked to characterize such scenes.

What results did the researchers ultimately get:

• 52% of parents said that it is wrong to yell at a child, but 37% of this group noted that they themselves sometimes lose their temper. They justified their behavior by the child's uncontrollability, his whims and by showing the parents in a bad light.
• 27% of parents believe that shouting and punishment are the most effective method of education, and one cannot do without it.
• 21% do not accept this format of communication with a child and never raise their voice.
• 73% of observers believe that such parental behavior is unacceptable.
• 15% are indifferent to the problem.
• 12% believe that parents do everything right; you can’t raise children without shouting and punishment.

As you can see, you are not alone in your problem. But this does not mean that you can calm down and continue parenting with screams. We need to understand the reasons for this behavior.

Why do parents get angry at their children?

• powerlessness and despair;
• psychophysiological exhaustion;
• hatred of the child, rage, regret about his birth;
• an impossible amount of demands, responsibilities (the feeling that you are being torn apart);
• inflated expectations and demands on the child;
• personal triggers and trauma (for example, a breakdown after being interrupted or ignored);
• fear of losing control of the situation;
• fears, increased anxiety against the background of weak self-regulation (screams after the child was almost injured or received some kind of injury);
• disappointment in oneself, the discrepancy between reality and ideals and ideas about parenthood.

Psychologists, educators, sociologists and pediatricians unanimously argue that this style of parenting has a negative impact on the psychophysiological health and development of the child. This means that the problem needs to be dealt with.

Causes of aggressive behavior in old age

Three large groups can be distinguished.

Biological:

• constant physical discomfort, pain, forced posture, poor health, general malaise;
• side effect from taking certain medications;
• external stimuli to which an elderly person is sensitive: heat or cold, drafts, noise, bright light;
• decreased hearing and vision, due to which orientation in space deteriorates, the level of anxiety and tension increases;
• • thinking disorders (delusions, hallucinations), which are accompanied by aggressive self-defense from a fictitious threat;
• dementia, in which age-related changes in brain tissue occur and a person’s behavior changes.

Social:

• loneliness, insufficient amount of communication, contact with other people;
• constant inactivity, lack of activities, interests, hobbies, regular responsibilities; the elderly person feels useless, unnecessary, and may develop protest behavior accompanied by aggression;
• mistrust of a guardian, doctor, visitor, which provokes an outbreak of aggression, may be associated with an increase in suspicion in dementia;
• reluctance to inform others about your condition, emotional problems, and health problems. An elderly person does not want to become a “burden” - he uses aggressive behavior so that relatives or doctors do not interfere in his life.

Psychological:

• gradual maladjustment and associated emotions: frustration, anxiety, fear, depression; the person realizes that he cannot cope with an increasing number of tasks; this worsens his mental state and provokes aggression;
• shyness, reluctance to accept help when washing, changing clothes, going to the toilet;
• lack of self-control, gradual loss of ideas about norms of behavior;
• strengthening of negative character traits;
• feeling of vulnerability: the outside world seems unfamiliar, threatening, and can frighten the elderly if he is maladapted;
• problems in relationships with loved ones; Aggression can be provoked by indifference on the part of relatives (usually apparent) or, on the contrary, by their concern for the health of an elderly person.

You have questions?
We will call you back within 30 seconds

or call the number

Clicking the "Submit"

, you automatically consent to the processing of your personal data and accept the terms of the User Agreement.

How to punish correctly

Education without punishment is truly impossible, but you need to choose pedagogically correct methods and maintain a balance of censure and praise.

How to properly punish children:

1. Express your dissatisfaction in a calm voice, evaluate the child’s actions, not the personality.
2. Clearly define the boundaries of punishment, and it is better to do this in advance. Adhere to a two-level punishment system: first a warning, an explanation of the situation and a detailed explanation of the future punishment, then the punishment itself. If you haven’t already explained that it’s wrong to steal other children’s toys, then you shouldn’t punish your child for it. Explain, and next time punish. The child must know in advance what he is sacrificing if he deliberately violates your requirements. And he must understand why he is being punished. Pay attention to the details, the exact timing and duration of the punishment.
3. Explain in detail your dissatisfaction with why the child’s action is regarded as bad. Try to understand the child’s position, listen to his opinion, the reason for the action.
4. Don't make your child feel guilty, but teach him responsibility. To do this, analyze each situation yourself and determine the child’s involvement.
5. Adhere to a common educational position with your husband and other relatives. Always keep your word, don’t promise something you can’t do (“I’ll kill you for this”). Avoid double standards, for example, if you forbid your child to yell at you and other people, then you yourself do not have the right to yell at him or anyone else.
6. Say that you hate to punish your child, but you are forced to do it because his behavior is contrary to family norms. Explain what behavior would suit you. Talk to your child and explain why this should not be done.
7. Do not put the child in a corner - in this position it will not be possible to relax, calm down and comprehend the behavior.
8. Don't let punishment depend on your mood.

You cannot insult, ridicule, beat, publicly punish a child or compare him with other children or with you during his childhood. It is unacceptable to deprive a child of food, but leaving him without dessert or pizza is okay. Other physiological and emotional needs cannot be ignored (“I don’t love you anymore”, “I won’t talk to you”). You cannot threaten, intimidate or humiliate a child.

There should always be more praise in parent-child relationships. We are more willing to express negativity, we are better at noticing someone’s shortcomings and mistakes. Learn to express positive emotions, do not devalue your child’s good behavior.