Constant quarrels in relationships: what to do and how to find the cause of misunderstandings


In any relationship there are different stages: positive and negative. The latter include constant quarrels with her husband, especially swearing after the birth of children.

Overcoming these same situations, the growth of mutual understanding in a couple indicates precisely the development of relationships - the achievement of harmony. Therefore, it is so important to learn to quarrel correctly, seek mutual understanding and make peace.

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Any conflict situation arises for one reason - there is some problem that cannot be solved. And constant scandals with your husband are the fastest way to solve this problem.

Rules of mutual understanding

Write down your family status and life plans

To maximize mutual understanding, I suggest that you put the essence of your family's rules on paper in clear language. This should apply to both everyday life and raising children. Place special emphasis on stipulating important aspects of your partner, giving him the opportunity to argue his point.

Spend time together

Joint leisure can introduce you to your other half again. Draw, cook, dance, share your experiences about your working day over a cup of tea and be interested in your other half! To understand what stage your relationship is currently at, just take a closer look: the more a husband or wife moves away from spending time together, the more critical the situation is and it needs to be saved!

Don't forget about the children!

In a family where there is no understanding, but there are children, it is they who become victims of the battle between the Egos of mom and dad. Each of them throws all his energy into shouting down his opponent, forgetting that there is a baby in the next room. If you want to keep your child’s nervous system in order, then I advise you to stop sorting things out with your child. He must see his parents happy, because otherwise, he will take the blame for what is happening!

Respect your partner!

Respect is the main pillar on which the entire framework of understanding is built. Refuse to treat your loved ones with disrespect in front of strangers, demonstrate emotional control and restraint.

Compliments and praise

How to make a person grow wings behind his back? That's right, praise and encourage! If you do not learn to notice good qualities, then you will give all your attention to searching for bad ones, which is fraught with scandals. Don’t bring up past mistakes, thank them for their actions and words, give compliments at least 5 times a day.

Taboo on reproaches

Reproaches are words that can destroy your relationship and completely kill mutual understanding. If you criticize, do it constructively, refraining from getting personal and using insulting words.

Support and friendliness

Support your chosen one in any situation! Always be on his side, demonstrating calmness and faith in his strength. After all, when an individual is friendly, smiling and friendly, you want to talk to her and trust her! So why not become a super-person for your loved one!?

That's it!

Subscribe to blog updates, and in the comments, be sure to share your personal tips for renewing understanding as a couple! Very interesting to know your opinion!

See you on the blog, bye-bye! :)

A parable about misunderstandings in relationships

One day a man comes to the house of an old man and knocks on the door. He opens it for him and invites him to go inside.

“Tell me, everything is so good in your family life,” says the man. – The whole village is surprised how you manage to maintain such a harmonious relationship with your wife. What's your secret

- Look, now my wife will knead the dough for us for dinner.

The elder asks to fulfill his request, which his wife does.

“Now add milk there, the milk you milked from the cow this morning.”

The wife obediently fulfills his request.

- Now go to the pigsty, pick up dirt and add it to the dough and bake it in the oven.

The wife goes for the dirt, adds it to the dough and puts this inedible mixture in the oven. Then he brings the finished one to the table.

- Here is the bread, my love, as you asked. Anything else?

The man, in complete bewilderment, turns to the elder:

- Well, how is it, she did everything you asked, she even added dirt, which in itself is strange, without saying a single word against it!

“Try asking your wife to do the same,” the elder answered.

Then the man wandered home to try the same thing. Entering the house, he found it dirty, and his wife playing cards with her friends in another room.

“Wife,” the man shouted. - Come here.

A dissatisfied voice comes from the room:

- What do you want? I'm busy.

- Come here, I tell you.

The wife, furious with anger that she was torn away from her favorite activity, still comes to her husband.

- What do you want? Can't you see, I'm busy.

“Knead the dough for dinner,” says the man.

- What other dough, why do you need it?

- Knead the dough, I tell you.

The wife kneaded the dough and was about to leave to continue the game, but then her husband’s voice was heard:

“Now add milk there, the milk you milked from the cow this morning.”

-Are you completely crazy? - the wife answers. “I didn’t milk any cow!”

“Then go and buy milk and add it to the dough.”

His wife fulfills his request in complete bewilderment.

- Are you happy now?

- Now go and get some dirt and add it to the dough too.

- Oh Almighty.., you need to be treated!

- Do as I say! And then put this bread in the oven.

The wife fulfills this request and then throws the bread on the table with the words:

- Well, are you satisfied now, or is there some other nonsense left in your sick head?

- Now I'm happy. You can do whatever you want.

But the man was not happy. After all, his wife scolded him a hundred times, uttered dozens of angry words, while the old man’s wife did not say a word to him. Then he goes to the elder again to find out what’s the matter.

- I still didn’t understand anything. My wife flipped out at me like a beast when I asked her to do the same.

- My friend, the question is how you ask her about it, what kind of relationship you have, how you love her. I dote on my wife, I praise and cherish her, so she fulfills my requests, even the most delusional ones, but unquestioningly. And you, remember the last time you gave her flowers?

- Well, I gave it, yes, it’s true for a long time...

With these words, the man thanks the elder and leaves. On the way home, he picks a whole bouquet of flowers, entering the house, leaves them in a beautiful vase on the table and goes to bed. Waking up in the morning, he discovers breakfast, which he has not eaten for several years, a clean house and his beautiful wife.

Since then, peace and love have always reigned in their house. The man fell in love with his wife again, and she with him.

One day there is a knock on the door. The man opens it and sees a young man on the threshold and invites him to go inside.

“Tell me, everything is so good in your family life,” says the young man. — The whole village is surprised how you manage to maintain such a harmonious relationship with your wife. What's your secret?

- Look, now my wife will knead the dough for us for dinner.

Buddhists are truly very wise, and each time their ability to express the truth in simple words is amazing.

It's really simple - just love! If it doesn’t exist, then you shouldn’t waste time on quarrels and showdowns. If there is one, then help each other become better and don’t forget to smile.

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Turn on awareness and try to understand each other

Renowned writer and mentor Teal Swan once said, “Stop trying to love, and start trying to understand each other.” This phrase can describe the only correct approach to building truly strong and long-lasting relationships. Romance sooner or later disappears. One way or another you will have to get to know each other better. Understand the motivation of certain actions, words, decisions of each other that are not yet clear to you.

You should not necessarily follow your partner’s lead, agree with him, or change your mind. We are all different and everyone has their own point of view on certain things - this is normal. But, as life shows, misunderstanding in reality only means unpreparedness and unwillingness to listen and hear each other. People can stubbornly insist on having their own way and not take the other person's words seriously, but what's the point if your relationship is failing?

Introverts have a hard time forming relationships and letting new people into their lives.
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