What to do when you feel bad and want to cry - how to find a way out of the impasse

Everyone has moments in life when absolutely everything stops making them happy, it happens, even regardless of whether there is a good reason for this or not. Believers know that despondency is one of the sins of the earth, so it is worth fighting it in a variety of ways. Sometimes a terrifying, causeless fear or a bad feeling can settle in your soul. Living with such sensations is not only harmful, but can even be dangerous, so you should save yourself by any sensible means and as soon as possible. In Orthodoxy, there are methods of getting rid of a depressing mood, and one of them is prayer.

About the author About the book

What does mental pain “scream” about?

Bad mood, depression, despondency, sadness are emotions that have a right to exist. It is impossible to be positive all the time. When something hurts, we go to the doctor. Pain is a sign that there is some problem in the body. Treatment is necessary to prevent the disease from developing further.

The situation with the internal state is exactly the same. If you do not cope with the negative emotions that poison the soul in time, everything can end in severe depression, mental disorders and even suicide attempts. Heaviness in the soul may be a signal that it’s time to:

• rethink your goals and reconsider the current stage of life;
• make changes that you can’t decide to make and constantly put off;
• slow down the pace of work;
• take a break from the hassle and bustle;
• be more attentive to yourself, your feelings and experiences, without pushing them into the background;
• get rid of loneliness and find like-minded people.

If you recognize such signals in time and take measures to eliminate them, then your state of mind will improve quite quickly. Your mood will improve and life will sparkle with new colors.

You should sound the alarm when you notice the following signs:

1. Eternal depression. You are constantly in a bad mood. Nothing pleases me at all. You don’t even try to smile at others on duty.
2. Lost interest. What once made your eyes burn has now become bland and boring. Neither work, nor hobbies, nor hobbies arouse enthusiasm anymore. Moreover, you even avoid meeting with friends.
3. Prostration. You feel like your battery is completely drained. Even if you have gathered the last of your strength and started to work, you immediately stop it. You are unable to concentrate on completing tasks.
4. Deterioration in sleep quality, insomnia. At night, sadness and melancholy become even heavier. Anxious thoughts prevent you from falling asleep peacefully. And when you wake up in the morning, you feel as if you had been unloading wagons all night.
5. Indifference to one's appearance. Not only have you stopped visiting the hairdresser, but you even simply forget to wash your hair or brush your teeth. You put on the clothes that fall out of the closet first. You don't care at all about your appearance.
6. Lost desire to have sex. People who are in close relationships have lost the joy of sex. They stop taking initiative and are reluctant to agree to intimacy with a partner. They don’t even try to act out passion in bed.
7. Apathy. You are no longer interested in news from the lives of your friends. You don't care what you're wearing, what you look like, what you eat, etc.

All signs point to you being deeply depressed. And it's time to pull yourself out of it. The article “How to get out of depression” has a lot of useful tips on this topic.

Causes of sadness and how to deal with it

Before you fight sadness, you need to find out its cause. Let's look at some of the main causes of sadness, as well as ways to combat it. So, most often the soul becomes sad and lousy for the following reasons:

• loss (death of a loved one, divorce, separation);
• relationship problems;
• melancholy for no apparent reason.

Loss

Perhaps the most difficult test in life is to survive the death of a loved one. It is very painful, difficult and bitter to lose loved ones. But you have to get over it. Usually the first few days after the incident a person is in shock. He cannot fully comprehend what happened.

Then, a week after the tragedy, the person realizes that he has lost a close friend or relative forever. He is overcome by acute emotional and sometimes even physical pain. Over time it fades and becomes a little easier.

It is very difficult to advise anything in such a situation. Recommendations like - find yourself a new activity or look for new experiences - are meaningless. In a state of difficult experience, a person does not want to do absolutely anything. But you shouldn’t immerse yourself entirely in your grief. This will lead to deep depression and mental disorders.

The “black” longing for the departed person should turn into light sadness. This, of course, will require time and effort. First of all, remember those who stayed next to you. These people need you. Pay attention to them.

The pain of loss helps ease work and solving pressing matters. In order not to endlessly chase thoughts about the departed person in your head, immerse yourself in work or a hobby. By the way, when we grieve the loss of a loved one, we feel sorry for ourselves. We cannot imagine life without this person, and therefore we grieve. But we don’t know where he went. Perhaps he is better there than on earth.

Divorce or separation is much easier to cope with than the death of loved ones. Although at first it seems that life is over. It is difficult to imagine your bright future without familiar relationships.

In this case, you need to distract yourself from negative thoughts associated with divorce. If people disagree, it means they don’t like each other in some way. You will still meet a person with whom you will live in perfect harmony. And you will find happiness again.

But you understand perfectly well that sitting at home and mourning the past, you will not find love.

Keep meeting your friends. Add bright emotions and colors to your life. Update your wardrobe, go for a massage, go to the hairdresser, change your image. Gradually you will feel that you are ready for new acquaintances and relationships. Read about how to love yourself on the website.

Relationship problems

If in a relationship you are more often sad than happy, then you should think about ending it. Relationships shouldn't be painful. Discuss your experiences with your significant other. Were you able to find a compromise and solve the problem? Wonderful!

If nothing changes and you still continue to suffer, break this painful connection. Parting will be a difficult test, but in the future it will bring relief and the opportunity to meet true love.

Longing for no apparent reason

Sometimes it happens that everything seems to be fine in life. Everyone is alive and well. But for some reason it became sad and depressing. Although there is no objective reason for sadness, and you don’t understand why your soul feels so bad. Allow yourself to be a little sad and try to find the reason for the blues.

1. Think that you are doing well. You are healthy, your loved ones are also in good health. You don't have any serious problems. Thank fate for this. And you will immediately feel how you will feel better. Turn on your favorite music, read an interesting book. They will help you distract from unnecessary, unreasonable thoughts.
2. Perhaps you are simply tired from household chores or work. Give yourself a few days to fully relax. Take some time off from work and go on a short trip.
3. Gray and monotonous everyday life also spoils the mood. New experiences will help to disperse the melancholy caused by the daily routine. Do something you've never tried before. Provide yourself with new and unique emotions. Go to a concert, go hiking, dance, ski, go for a bike ride. There are a lot of options!
4. Sadness can also settle in the soul from loneliness. Even the most die-hard introvert needs a friend. Surely you have at least one friend whom you can invite to the cinema or for a walk. If not, try expanding your circle of acquaintances. Sign up for courses, register on the forum that interests you. There are a lot of people in the world. And somewhere your soul mate is wandering.

I recommend watching the following video when you feel sad again.

Requests for help Write your story So, hello! Briefly about yourself: A 25-year-old guy with a higher education. Working. Without bad habbits. The essence of the problem: About 3-4 years ago I began to gradually descend into some kind of black abyss of universal apathy and melancholy. At first, this was even beneficial. While my friends were going out partying, I was angrily writing coursework. But over time, my circle of interests began to narrow. I quit graphics classes because... I completely stopped liking this activity; I quit sports because I stopped seeing the meaning in it; I stopped leaving the house unnecessarily, because it didn’t cause anything other than fatigue; At the end of my studies, I lost all my friends, and a month before graduation I wanted to quit my studies, because I realized that the chosen profession was not for me. I began to think feverishly, what would I like to do in this life? And I didn’t find an answer. I do not want anything. For the second year now, I have been working here and there just to support my existence. Today my whole life is filled with black emptiness. Not only do I not want to strive for anything, I experience oppressive melancholy every day. Everywhere I look, everything is boring and uninteresting, everything is petty and funny. Just now I looked at my director, how he, a rich and influential man, stood and smoked thoughtfully, reveling in his position. He's probably feeling happy. And I felt sorry for him. He's a grown man and still plays stupid games. He looked at his colleagues. And I felt sorry for them. Grown people, yet they are wasting their only lives; So they will all sit in their chairs all their lives, telling each other jokes. And then they will die. The director will die rich and happy, and his colleagues will die poor and unhappy. That day I walked half the city, and I still wanted to feel some great feeling, at least a hint of it, to see a ray of light in the gray fog, where I could turn my eyes and soul. But I didn’t find anything, I didn’t understand anything. Every day the world moves away somewhere. People's voices are getting quieter, the colors of the world are getting darker, it seems that soon they will completely fade. And an incredible heaviness in my soul, as if an anchor had been hung on it. I don’t understand what’s the matter. Looking objectively, I live no worse than others, and in many ways even better. Nature has gifted me with both appearance and health. However, life is no longer bearable. It seems that the most important thing is already behind us, irretrievably lost. All that remains is to live out your life.

Pavel, age: 25 / 05/15/2016

Responses:

Pavel, it’s great to meet, albeit on the Internet, a thinking, intelligent person. What you wrote about the fact that all that remains for you is to live out your life, of course, is completely incorrect. The university years are, of course, some of the best years, but life doesn’t end after that. Every age and every stage of life has its own joys and delights. You can start a family, you can build a business, you can become whatever you want to become. Maybe you need to expand your ideas about professions, maybe try to do something? If you don’t like it? - look again.

Anna, age: 24 / 05/15/2016

Pavel, my name is Elena. I read your story. You have everything to be happy. Probably, you just need to take a step towards your happiness. Read letters from other people: some have no work, others are seriously ill, loneliness, loss of loved ones. If you It’s unbearable to live, then what it should be like for them. Don’t judge the people around you, don’t throw stones at them - everyone lives this life as best they can. Look for something you like, a job you don’t like plunges you into depression. Find time to go out into nature, see what Now there is beauty all around, turn to it with your soul. In your free time, try to distract yourself from the thoughts that torment you: read books, collect puzzles, write responses on this site, maybe this will help someone a lot

Elena, age: 35 / 05/15/2016

Hello. Pavel, maybe you should look at the other side of life. Where not everything is so successful, safe, and wonderful. Visit orphanages, hospices, nursing homes, hospitals. Where for people just seeing the sun is a great happiness. Become a volunteer. Make it a rule to do a good deed once a day. I think you will understand that life and health are valuable. And you will finally find yourself and your place in life!

Irina, age: 28 / 05/15/2016

Hello, you know, your feeling tells you everything correctly that they are living their lives in vain. Do you know why? Because they live without God. A person who puts material wealth or a career first will one way or another be unhappy. It’s all emptiness. A person can be in silks, money and diamonds and be unhappy. Or you can have a piece of bread and modest clothing and feel happy. Happiness is an internal state. Try to find this happiness for yourself. But in general, faith in God opens up new opportunities for happiness in a person’s life. If everything is so dull and gray, start visiting church, praying and asking God to arrange your life... and it’s better to confess and ask for forgiveness for all your sins. It is they who give access to a person to evil spirits. Hence despondency, apathy, laziness. Start going to church, go to confession and communion more often. For many people, life got better and even changed after that.

elli, age: 28/05/16/2016

You are a very interesting and unusual person, Pavel! Despite the melancholic tone of the letter, I feel great potential in you. You are now like a sleeping volcano that needs to be awakened. And channel the energy in the right direction. Change your life, Pavel! Change it radically. Leave the city, leave everything behind, you can go to the North, change your job, change your environment, make new friends, a new hobby. You yourself have changed, reconsidered your life, as if you were reborn. That's why you're struggling so much now. Let a new life begin for the changed you. Don't be afraid of anything, try it. Remember, the darkest hour is before the dawn!

Margarita, age: 43 / 05/16/2016

Pavel, you haven’t found your meaning in life like many, it’s not as fast as it might seem. Perhaps you should visit a psychologist who can help you figure out why this is happening to you and what you need to do to make it normal.

Alice, age: 00 / 05/16/2016

Pavel, hello! Your suffering, I think, speaks of a spiritual search. Are you a believer? I suspect that God is leading you to Himself in this way. In fact, you already understand that the meaning of life is not in empty wasting it in a dull existence. But there is no lighthouse ahead, who would lead you! but he exists, this is God. You may not come to him right away, but your apathy and depression are actually like a second birth.

Svetlana, age: 35 / 05/16/2016

Pavel, perhaps your condition is “banal” depression, which can be treated with antidepressants in 2 weeks. See for yourself: you write about apathy, melancholy, melancholy, your circle of interests has narrowed, you have lost friends, the colors of the world have faded. And most importantly, there is an incredible heaviness in my soul. These are classic symptoms of depression. Try taking a depression test first (you can find them on the Internet). If the suspicion is confirmed, do not put off visiting a psychotherapist. The doctor will help you understand the causes of this condition and prescribe treatment. I repeat that your condition can be easily treated with medication.

Manefa, age: 51 / 05/17/2016

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Psychologist's advice

Let's look at the main tips from psychologists to combat blues and sadness.

Determine the cause

We have already discussed the main reasons for bad mood. The mood drops due to troubles, failures, and misfortunes. However, not all. It all depends on how you yourself perceive the situation. Stress-tolerant people's mood deteriorates much less often than those who are completely unable to cope with their emotions.

And adrenaline, cortisol and other “stress hormones” are to blame. They are produced in large quantities in the body when a person experiences stress. It is these hormones that cause us anger, fear, uncertainty, shame, guilt and other negative emotions. To block the excessive production of these hormones, you need to learn to control yourself.

When you determine the cause of your sadness, leave it in the past. Move into the future without this unnecessary burden. Do not let such situations disturb your inner peace and harmony.

Let go of the past

If you feel bad because you feel guilty towards another person, ask him for forgiveness. Sincerely reveal your feelings and emotions to him. You can do it in person, or you can do it in a letter. Has he forgiven you? Amazing! You can breathe a sigh of relief and move on with your life easily. If not, then it is his choice to live with the burden of resentment.

Or, on the contrary, you were offended and the feeling of disappointment does not go away. Resentment is a very caustic emotion. It is imperative that you deal with it, even if the offender does not seek to ask for your forgiveness. First of all, stop dwelling on resentment. Fill your life with bright emotions and impressions, against the background of which your resentment will fade and disappear altogether.

Change the scenery

Even the smallest trip can lift your spirits. Sometimes, when your soul becomes sick, you just need to break out of your usual environment and city for a day or a week. Choose a place you've never been to. You don't have to fly abroad. Where you live, there are probably still places you haven’t explored.

Have you ever seen a sunrise in the mountains? It's magical! The calmness and tranquility of the mountains is conveyed to everyone who has ever climbed to the top. There, between heaven and earth, all those troubles that you allowed to spoil your mood begin to seem like something insignificant and small.

Visit a psychotherapist

If sadness still won’t let you go and you no longer know what to do, seek help from a psychotherapist. It will help you:

• to know yourself;
• find out your true desires;
• determine goals in life;
• find a path that will help you realize yourself;
• identify the root cause of your problems;
• overcome fears;
• learn to express emotions and communicate with people.

After all, often we just need to talk it out so that the sadness goes away. If you have absolutely no one to talk to, go to a psychotherapist.

Instructions for overcoming sadness

I want to offer you unusual instructions that will help you cope with negative emotions. It is compiled on the basis of spiritual practices and has nothing to do with the advice of psychologists.

Step 1. Don't hide from emotions

When your soul becomes restless, it is very important to realize what is happening inside. It is not enough to simply understand. You just need to realize it. This means that you must understand and accept these emotions. Accept the fact that you feel bad and hard. But you shouldn’t think about why this is happening to you and what it’s all about.

Tell yourself: “This is how I feel! This is my pain, my sadness, my feelings and emotions.”

Step 2. Immerse yourself in sensations

Once you have fully accepted your emotions, immerse yourself in your state. Feel how your body reacts to the feelings you are experiencing. This is what is happening to you at the moment. And it doesn’t matter at all why this happened. What caused these emotions.

Cry if you want to cry. But don’t start feeling sorry for yourself or scolding yourself.

Step 3. Imagine that the mind is not you

The mind evaluates our actions and everything that happens around us: this is good, but this is bad. This happens automatically and unconsciously. A person is accustomed to believing that his mind is himself. And there are more than 7 billion such minds on our planet. And everyone gives their own subjective assessment.

At the same time, we become so accustomed to our assessment that we desperately suffer in situations that are essentially empty and worthless. The mind loves to exaggerate everything.

Now try to imagine your mind as something independent of you. Think about what he looks like? In the shape of a cloud or a soap bubble? Where is he located? On right? Left? Over you? Let your imagination run wild.

The most important thing is to feel that the mind is not part of you.

Step 4. Feel your condition again

Re-immerse yourself in your sensations. But now, as if from the outside, observe how the mind sends you thoughts. So he sent the idea that you shouldn’t have done that. But the thought is that you don’t know what to do next.

Notice all these thoughts coming from outside. But don't take the mind's assessments personally. You will see how thoughts are born on their own, filling your head. And the longer you watch them, the fewer they become. And the less often they come to mind.

On the site you will also find an article on how to get rid of negative thoughts.

Step 5. Observe emotions

Feel your emotions as sensations inside your body. Record the thoughts that your mind sends to you. Don't analyze them, don't take them personally, don't evaluate them. It's just a thought.

When the mind evaluates our negative emotions, they feel heavy and unpleasant. If you don’t evaluate them, they will be neutral.

You will see that it is no longer so uncomfortable to observe feelings. It's even getting interesting. Your mood will probably improve and a little joy will appear. But even in this case, do not evaluate the sensations that arise. Just watch them.

Resentment, sadness, and joy are just sensations inside you. They are no worse and no better than each other. It is your mind that gives them estimates. All sensations are neutral. And that means you shouldn’t have a hard time experiencing certain emotions.

Prayer when you feel bad

The most standard version of prayer, as they say, for all occasions, is the “Our Father”, as well as the “Jesus Prayer”. They are quite simple, and you can use them and even read them several times in a row, if from these words you can feel faith in the Almighty and that He will give you healing power. And you also have the opportunity to turn to those saints who have the power to help in your case.

Prayer to the Mother of God “Helper of Sinners”

Remembrance days are March 7/20, as well as May 29/June 11. It is generally accepted that prayers to her these days acquire special power.

May God rise again, and may His enemies be scattered, and may they flee from His presence. As smoke disappears, let them disappear; just as wax melts in the face of fire, so may demons perish from the presence of those who love God and signify themselves with the sign of the cross, and say in joy: Rejoice, Most Honorable and Life-Giving Cross of the Lord, drive away demons by the power of You, the crucified Lord Jesus Christ, who descended into hell and trampled upon the power the devil, and who gave us Himself, His Honest Cross to drive away every adversary. O Most Honest and Life-Giving Cross of the Lord! Help me with the Holy Lady Virgin Mary and with all the saints forever. Amen

Prayer against fear - “Live Help”

It is a known fact that during the war, many soldiers put a piece of paper with this prayer in their pocket and went into battle, from which they returned without a single injury.

“He who lives in the help of the Most High will dwell in the shelter of the Heavenly God. Says the Lord: Thou art my Protector and my Refuge, my God, and I trust in Him. For He will deliver you from the snare of the trap, and from rebellious words, His splash will overshadow you, and under His wing you hope: His truth will surround you with weapons.

Do not be afraid from the fear of the night, from the arrow that flies during the day, from the thing that passes in the darkness, from the cloak, and from the demon of the midday. Thousands will fall from your country, and darkness will fall at your right hand, but it will not come close to you, otherwise you will look at your eyes, and you will see the reward of sinners.

For You, O Lord, are my hope, You have made the Most High your refuge. Evil will not come to you, and wound will not approach your body, as His Angel commanded you to keep you in all your ways.

They will lift you up in their arms, but not when you dash your foot on a stone, step on an asp and a basilisk, and cross a lion and a serpent. For I have trusted in Me, and I will deliver, and I will cover, and because I have known My name. He will call to Me, and I will hear him: I am with him in sorrow, I will destroy him, and I will glorify him, I will fill him with long days, and I will show him My salvation.”

Prayer for peace of mind of the Optina elders

The ancient monastery of the Optina Elders is located near the Kaluga region of the Central Federal District of Russia. The most famous of these elders are the healer Lev Danilovich, the predictor Makar, and the righteous Seraphim. People in this village help cure both physical and mental illnesses. People go to them when traditional medicine turns out to be powerless, and many witnesses to this, that it is not in vain, since after a visit to them the sufferers feel better. Prayer texts from these places were created over the course of centuries and truly have miraculous healing powers for the soul.

About the author About the book

Otherwise, this prayer is called “Give me reason and peace of mind.” There are two versions of it: one is complete, the other is a shortened version. Familiarize yourself with them and decide which one will be more convenient for you to read, which option is easier for you to “feel” and understand, because the main thing is not thoughtless words minted by heart, but the meaning captured in them.

Short version:

“Give me reason and peace of mind to face everything that the coming day brings me. Let me completely surrender to Your holy will. For every hour of this day, instruct and support me in everything. Whatever news I receive during the day, teach me to accept it with a calm soul and a firm conviction that everything is Your holy will. In all my words and deeds, guide my thoughts and feelings. In all unforeseen cases, do not let me forget that everything was sent down by You. Teach me to act directly and wisely with each member of my family, without confusing or upsetting anyone. Lord, give me strength to endure the fatigue of the coming day and all the events during the day. Guide my will and teach me to pray, believe, hope, endure, forgive and love. Amen".

Full prayer “Give me reason and peace of mind”:

“Lord, let me meet with peace of mind everything that the coming day will bring me. Let me completely surrender to Your holy will. For every hour of this day, instruct and support me in everything. Whatever news I receive during the day, teach me to accept it with a calm soul and a firm conviction that everything is Your holy will. In all my words and deeds, guide my thoughts and feelings. In all unforeseen cases, do not let me forget that everything was sent down by You. Teach me to act directly and wisely with each member of my family, without confusing or upsetting anyone. Lord, give me strength to endure the fatigue of the coming day and all the events during the day. Guide my will and teach me to pray, believe, hope, endure, forgive and love. Amen.

Lord, let me meet with peace of mind everything that the coming day will bring me. Lord, let me completely surrender to Your holy will. Lord, at every hour of this day, instruct and support me in everything. Lord, whatever news I receive during this day, teach me to accept it with a calm soul and a firm conviction that everything is Your holy will. Lord, reveal to me Your holy will for me and those around me. Lord, guide my thoughts and feelings in all my words and thoughts. Lord, in all unforeseen cases, do not let me forget that everything was sent down by you. Lord, teach me to correctly, simply, and rationally treat everyone at home and those around me, elders, equals and juniors, so that I do not upset anyone, but contribute to the good of everyone. Lord, give me strength to endure the fatigue of the coming day and all the events during the day. Lord, You yourself guide my will and teach me to pray, hope, believe, love, endure and forgive. Lord, do not leave me to the mercy of my enemies, but for the sake of Your holy name, lead and rule me. Lord, enlighten my mind and my heart to understand Your eternal and unchangeable laws that govern the world, so that I, Your sinful servant, can correctly serve You and my neighbors. Lord, I thank You for everything that will happen to me, for I firmly believe that all things work together for good to those who love You. Lord, bless all my exits and entries, deeds, words and thoughts, deign me to always joyfully glorify, sing and bless You, for You are blessed forever and ever. Amen".