How to leave a job you don't like: advice from a psychologist. A job you don't like is dangerous to your health

• October 17, 2019
• Psychology of Personality
• Michael Michaelis

Psychologists have long found out that a person who does something he doesn’t like experiences much less happiness in life than one who develops his talents. But not everyone is lucky with their profession. Thinking about how to leave a job you don't like? Then you've come to the right place! Indeed, in our article you will immediately find 10 tips from professional psychologists that will help you understand that you need to find a profession that will bring you happiness and joy.

Why is it so important to work and have fun?

Firstly, a job you don’t like is dangerous to your health. Scientists have long found out that activities that do not bring pleasure to a person gradually kill him. Statistics show that the most common diseases caused by unloved work are heart attack and stroke. The thing is that our mood directly affects our health. Is it worth enduring a job you don’t like, sacrificing your body?

Secondly, for humanity a long time ago everything related to the satisfaction of material needs came to the fore. Even family, friendship and love took second place. For many, it is much more important to build a career, buy a house, a car, start a business, and so on. However, only those people who truly love what they do achieve great heights in their professional field.

Thirdly, a business that brings not only material profit, but also pleasure, significantly improves family relationships. Just look at the statistics. Most divorces are related in one way or another to financial status or work. If problems arise in the professional sphere, then people close to us inevitably suffer from this, simply becoming “extreme”. However, in a job he loves, a person always perceives all difficulties with his head held high and does not get nervous about the little things.

Burnout syndrome

Recently, burnout syndrome has been encountered among people who work in the “person-to-person” field (teachers, doctors, service sector specialists). Sometimes it affects creative people too. Now burnout is officially recognized as a disease, and a “burnt out” person needs the help of specialists.

Most often, in order to return to work with new strength and a different mood, it is enough for a person to talk with a psychologist and thoroughly relax. Sometimes it is necessary to change the field of activity.

Symptoms of professional burnout

• Feeling of constant, persistent fatigue, feeling of emotional and physical exhaustion;
• general asthenia (weakness, decreased activity and energy);
• frequent causeless headaches;
• sudden weight loss or weight gain;
• complete or partial insomnia;
• lethargy, drowsiness and desire to sleep throughout the day;
• indifference, boredom, passivity and depression (low emotional tone, feeling depressed);
• increased irritability to minor, minor events;
• frequent nervous breakdowns;
• the feeling that the work is becoming harder and harder, and that it is becoming more and more difficult to do it;
• feelings of uselessness, lack of faith in improvements, decreased enthusiasm for work, indifference to results;
• distance from employees and clients.

Answer three important questions

So, in order not to be afraid to leave a job you don’t like, you will need to follow the recommendations left by professional psychologists. The first of these is to answer the following questions:

• “Am I ready to work my whole life at a job that I hate with all my heart?”
• “How much patience will my family have if I constantly break down?”
• “How long can my body withstand the stress that is killing me?”

The most important thing is to try to answer all these questions as honestly as possible. After all, if you admit that a job you don’t like only causes you problems, then you will have great motivation to quit it.

No one argues that parting with a place that is already “habitable” can be extremely difficult. After all, we are all afraid of the unknown: “What if I fail to find a new job or it will be even worse than the previous one?” If you are asking this question, then just remember the saying that says that the person who does not take risks will never be able to drink champagne. So don't be afraid to do things that scare you. As a rule, they are correct.

First of all, work means money.

As paradoxical as it may sound, the less pleasure you get from an activity, the higher it is paid. You can try to evaluate your own responsibilities in monetary terms by calculating how much one working hour, week, month costs. For example, after spending a couple of hours on reporting, you need to calculate how many days you can eat for this money.

So, preparing a week-long project, for example, can provide the necessary amount to pay for utilities or kindergarten.

If work does not bring you joy, but allows you to have a good income, you can work for a salary. Well, if you want to change something, it would be advisable to prepare a financial cushion. By the way, this is an excellent additional stimulating factor for better performance of one’s own responsibilities and, as a result, higher income.

So, having earned a decent amount by the time of dismissal, which is enough for six months of comfortable living, you can sign your resignation letter with peace of mind.

Often, an organization provides its employees with certain pleasant bonuses that it would be a shame not to take advantage of. This could be free food, a corporate fitness card, water and freely available coffee and tea.

It’s worth thinking about your prospects and understanding what skills you lack to realize your career plans.

For example, it would be a good idea to get additional education, and the company sends you to appropriate free training. Of course, this is an excellent opportunity to improve your professional level at the expense of your employer.

When something is given for free, people often devalue it.

But if you do the math, it may turn out that you would have to spend up to 30% of your salary on these “little things.” So, if topping up your mobile account and getting a free gym membership make any difference, it’s worth assessing how beneficial it is to wait to quit.

When everything is in order with your health, there is no desire to think about sick leave and other compensation. But still, the realization that even in case of illness the income will remain, can be a motivation to stay in a job that you don’t like.

This is especially true for girls planning motherhood.

While there is no child, the amounts of compensation may seem ridiculous, but during maternity leave every penny becomes important. Among other things, for three years, until the baby goes to kindergarten, the woman’s job will remain, unless, of course, the company goes bankrupt.

Quitting a job is always much easier than finding a new one where you can safely go on maternity leave.

In times of crisis, people prioritize stability over a comfortable workplace or high salary. There is no time for whims and many are ready to endure significant hardships, just so as not to be fired. If the job is not at all pleasing, but at the same time provides a stable income and a high salary, it may be worth “waiting out the crisis” by putting aside personal claims.

Sometimes staying in an unloved place for a long time is caused by the fear of ruining your professional reputation.

So, if this moment is really important, it is worth working in the company for at least a few months. Sometimes the name of the organization in which you worked forms a reputation much better than the high position you hold.

Thus, before quitting your job, you should carefully weigh the pros and cons.

Each case is individual and there is simply no universal answer. When trying to make an error-free decision, you need to remain honest with yourself and understand your own values ​​and priorities.

There is nothing reprehensible in wanting to quit a job you don’t like, but it’s still better to have at least some kind of backup option.

The situation when even a favorite (not to mention unloved) job becomes unbearable hard labor is very, very common. The reasons why people are disappointed in their place of work are numerous - an inadequate manager, “black sheep” in a more or less normal team or “the whole team is against you,” etc.

Considering the fact that it is difficult to find a job, especially in a specialty, a person asks the question: is it worth quitting “for nothing”, is it really going to be better this way, or do you still need to stupidly endure it if there is nowhere to go?

Try to expand your range of interests

“I’m afraid to quit because I’m not sure that I can find a worthy calling” is a very common expression among those people who have been doing work for decades that brings them only discomfort. However, such thinking is most often explained by the fact that a person is simply not confident in his abilities. There can be a huge number of reasons for this, but the most common of them is the lack of desire to develop in other areas.

To change your profession to one that really suits your taste, you will have to start expanding your range of interests. To do this, you need to try yourself every day in a wide variety of activities that may be outside your comfort zone. However, if you are interested in everything you can, sooner or later you will be able to say: “I found myself.” It is quite possible that your favorite activity has been right under your nose all this time.

Many will say that a passion or hobby cannot generate income - this is not entirely true. Even if you just like to draw, sooner or later you can start making good money from it. There are a large number of possibilities for this: creating illustrations for various sites on the Internet, accepting orders for portraits, opening your own training channel, etc. The most important thing is to find something that suits you, expanding your range of interests. And money is a gainful thing.

Causes of fear

Fear always has a reason: it arises at any stage of personal development. From early childhood, a child learns to perceive the world through the behavior of his parents, through the responsibilities and habits of adults. From this period, basic concepts are formed that in the future determine the degree of responsibility and meticulousness of the individual, as an employee or subordinate.

Reasons for fear:

• negative experience;
• difficult financial situation in the family;
• health problems, temporary or partial disability;
• suppressed fears.

If in childhood a child is instilled with the wrong attitudes, set up against society and the state (the world is unfair, and work should always be difficult), in adulthood a person does not imagine the world differently. He knows that it is not worth looking for concessions or good prospects - this is a waste of time and pointless attempts.

Quitting a job you don't like causes fear due to the lack of prospects: a person lives in difficult social or material conditions. Concomitant environmental factors determine the level of fear.

It is difficult for people with physiological characteristics to decide to make drastic changes: people with disabilities, people who have suffered a severe work injury, immigrants or former convicts.

The incorrect belief that work must be difficult prevents a person from quitting

Diffidence

Lack of self-confidence underlies the fear that prevents a person from quitting a job he doesn’t like. He doesn't look for other options because he doesn't see a position he can handle. He is lost in doubt, he is scared at the thought that what he has accumulated and gained will be lost. Such a person has a clearly expressed slave psychology - rooted thinking. A person agrees to do any difficult work without indignation, because deep down he is sure that he cannot do more.

The “slave” mentality prevents us from seeing the true picture of what is happening. The employee does not consider his own work shameful: often insecure people come up with excuses and fiercely defend a frankly bad position. Over time, bad work becomes a full-fledged part of an individual’s life, and making money fades into the background. In general, a person cannot not work: he needs the created appearance of moving forward. Hard physical labor is the norm.

Low self-esteem

If the lack of self-confidence is explained by the employee’s low education or unwillingness to develop, then low self-esteem lies at the core of the personality. In her habits, beliefs, character traits. Self-esteem, as a conditional assessment of oneself in society, is formed in early childhood.

Low self-esteem affects:

• on a person's ambitions;
• the desire to learn and achieve your goals;
• on relationships in a team;
• on the employee's sociability.

Low self-esteem is uncertainty, lack of courage. Such a person is afraid to take risks, go against the system and act alone. She loves to be in a crowd, among other people, to hide behind her colleagues and company employees.

Losing a place for a person with low self-esteem is tantamount to losing the meaning of life. Such a person is afraid of difficulties that may not happen, but already cause him a panic attack.

Low self-esteem affects the choice of profession: such people do not choose promising areas or study advanced sciences. For them, what is familiar is the old, what has been passed by thousands of other people, the most faithful and reliable. They are silent and a little withdrawn; they open up gradually in a team, so moving to a new place of work causes real fear in them.

Fear of the future

Fear of changing jobs is associated with fear of the future. One of the most common fears among people of different ages, genders and positions is the fear of losing control. The future, like a web of unknown events, frightens a person who is accustomed to keeping everything under control. It is difficult for him to come to terms with the moment of unpredictability.

Fear of the future is associated with the loss of acquired skills or authority in the team. For such people, experience is the determining factor in their career. It is difficult and problematic for such people to begin to achieve respect in a new place. Change is difficult for sensitive individuals tied to a place or a specific person in the workplace.

What is important for them is not earnings, but the atmosphere, the experience they have had, or an event that happened and became significant for them. A future without memories or contrived intimate connections is terrifying and frightening for the worker.

Fear of change

A type of fear of the future is the fear of change, which is inherent in every person. One person struggles with such fear, and the second one meekly succumbs to it. It is normal for the head of a family or for a person who is responsible for other people to be afraid of not finding a job after being fired. Pressure from the outside determines the strength of fear: the more expected from an individual, the less room for error he has.

Fear of change torments people who have experienced severe psycho-emotional trauma. In an attempt to extinguish fear, they hide behind work or a certain activity. Obsession saves you from anxious thoughts and distracts you from memories. For people with trauma, losing their job, which has become their salvation, is tantamount to death. New experiences are associated with events that can be repeated.

Many people are afraid of change

Phobias and repressed childhood fears

Phobias are fears that cause attacks of panic and aggression for no apparent reason to others. Irrational fear occurs due to a certain factor that resembles a traumatic event or causes negative associations. Fear of work, responsibilities, people - there are a lot of phobias associated with the fear of changing jobs.

Suppressed fear affects:

• on the behavior and habits of the employee;
• for his adaptation in the team;
• to react in a stressful situation.

If in the old team the employee’s fears are not perceived as something abnormal, then the new team is a real threat, a reason for strengthening the phobia. Suppressed fears do not allow the individual to objectively assess what is happening. She does not see the danger of being tied to one familiar place of work.

It is difficult for people with phobias to move to another city, associated with a change of place of work: they experience constant stress, they are tormented by nightmares and panic attacks.

Dealing with phobias is very difficult. The employee’s adaptation worsens due to social phobia – fear of communication and any contact with other people. Such a phobia affects the choice of profession and work, the conditions under which a person will be able to earn money, but will not have direct contact with the outside world.

Fear of poverty

An important aspect in choosing a job is financial security. A good salary for a person who is horrified by the mere mention of poverty is more important than job satisfaction. The employee associates money with security and the necessary stability.

Such a person rejects new offers, even if they are more profitable. No one can guarantee a stable income in a new position, so the employee remains in his old job: this way he can reduce internal tension and ease fear.

The fear of poverty takes root from childhood, when a child grows up in difficult material conditions, and his parents are unable to provide him with a good education or opportunities. The situation becomes more complicated for children with unconventional thinking, who become outcasts among their peers. Fear of poverty and lack of self-confidence force a person to create a strong comfort zone with one single job and a familiar social circle.

Fear of poverty begins in childhood

Your favorite thing is not as far away as you think

Now you know well what a job you don’t like leads to. But to give you more motivation to stop wasting your time, try to find an alternative to it as soon as possible. Be sure that you don’t have to go too far in your search, because statistics show that in most cases people manage to find themselves in the field that has been close to them all along.

It is quite possible that you have a real talent for photography or delicious cooking. What's the point of sitting in an office chair if you can start making money on something that brings you pleasure? Stop looking for something out of the ordinary or waiting for the opportunity to get your dream job. If you have talent, just make sure they hear about it.

However, not only talented individuals are able to find something to do that they like. After all, good workers are needed in almost every field. Even if you just like to travel, you can get a job as a tour guide and get paid to tell the history of the pyramids or temples to tourists. Just try to open your eyes wider to this world, and then a lot of opportunities will open up before you.

Any business can be monetized

I am sure that absolutely any business can be monetized and you just need to look at it more broadly - “I like teaching, so I have to go to school? But the salaries at school are small.”

But this is nonsense. For example, I also teach people and I never thought that I would teach and that it would bring me the money that it does. I teach people and I am a millionaire.

Here is the story of Dasha, a student of my courses. Dasha clearly shows how working with convictions helped her leave the workforce, live happily, do what she loves, and discover different talents in herself.

“In the 90s, I left for the USA with my family, but then I returned to Russia and began teaching English here.

I worked at a language school, I had a very, very modest salary, around 30,000 a month, but for me that was the norm then. I thought like this: well, I’m not very stressed at work and teachers, in principle, have a small salary, I can’t do anything about it... I want to quit, but I’m afraid I won’t find another normal job.

“To earn big money, you need to be a serious businesswoman,” I thought.

And then I started working with beliefs.

During the training, it dawned on me: to get clients, you just need to start by talking about yourself. Once I did this, I got a lot of new students in the first week that I couldn’t even take on right away!

When I worked through my beliefs, stopped being ashamed of myself, realized my talent and my worth, everything changed:

• I quit hiring
• my income has increased several times
• I started my personal blog
• I stopped thinking, “what will my friends say?”
• stopped hiding her true character

I was very struck by the phrase that Masha told me: “By hiding your talents, you rob this world.”

And now I just enjoy living!!!

I think that I am a happy person in my place!” ⠀

So that you understand: Dasha is a native speaker! This is not just a school teacher who graduated from a pedagogical institute and teaches. This is a higher level of teaching and quality of learning. And yet, Dasha sold her services for only 300 rubles per hour.

Realize the importance of your time

You may spend years debating whether to endure a job you don’t like. However, time is the most valuable resource that every person has. Even if you are immensely rich, you will not be able to stop the hands of the clock. Therefore, you must realize that you can’t hesitate any longer! You have already spent several months or even years doing something that brought you virtually no benefit.

To learn how to save your time, you can use a very useful method - keep a diary. A written goal has much more power than one kept in your head. Just make a note in your notebook that you will hand in your resignation tomorrow and start looking for a new job the day after. If you rationally manage the time that is given to you, you will be able to find your favorite activity much faster and achieve great success.

Fear of change

The fear of changing positions is explained by the fear of a possible future, as well as the fear of losing control over the situation.
After leaving a familiar place, a person faces many unknown events that frighten someone who is used to controlling his life. It is difficult for such a person to accept unpredictability. Fear of a new job is associated with a loss of authority and the possible uselessness of existing skills. Starting all over again in a new place is quite difficult for this employee. For him, atmosphere and experience are more important than salary increases. The pressure exerted on a person is also important: the more that is expected of him, the less rights he has to make an erroneous action.

Most often, such fears plague people who have experienced an event that caused them severe psycho-emotional trauma. To get rid of bad memories, they immerse themselves in productive activities, the cyclical nature of which distracts them from worries.

Follow your dream

In order not to be afraid to leave a job you love, you need to start experiencing a different fear. Fear that you will never be able to achieve your cherished dreams in this life. If you dream of running a business, is it worth spending your precious time working as a security guard? You can justify yourself as much as you like by saying that this activity is temporary so that you have the means to subsist. However, the more you do this, the further your dream slips away from you.

Sometimes, to accomplish an important act, it is enough to realize that there is nothing more important than the goal that you have been following for many years. It may seem unattainable now, but your dream can motivate you to achieve great heights that most people are afraid to even think about. Let the first step on the path to success be breaking the shackles that were hung on you by your old job. One day this day will be the beginning of the path that led you to your cherished dream.

"Ghostbusters" (1984): Don't be afraid to go wild

For people of a certain temperament, a boring 9 to 5 office job can drive them crazy. But running your own business is not easy now. But when was it easy? And is it easier to suffer from “office slavery”?

“Ghostbusters” is an idealistic and, of course, fantastic story.

At the same time, she truthfully talks about all the problems of novice entrepreneurs. Four parapsychological scientists leave their comfortable academic careers for a crazy startup: they offer ghost-catching services.

At first, they spend money thoughtlessly: renting an abandoned fire station, buying an old ambulance, hiring an unnecessary secretary. As soon as business starts to take off, the state gets in the way. They are prohibited from working due to lack of licenses. Only self-confidence and perseverance help to overcome the turning point.

Conclusion? If people really need you, nothing will stop you. Always set yourself up for success: this story will help you find inspiration in difficult times.

Learn to fight your fear

Why do people work in jobs they don't like? Do you think the reason lies in high wages or relationships with colleagues? No matter how it is! They are simply afraid to take a step towards the unknown. Well, or they are afraid to start changing their life for the better, because problems and discomfort have become something commonplace. Such people are simply accustomed to constantly presenting themselves as victims, blaming their superiors and the entire world around them. However, this behavior is typical only of those who are afraid.

One specialist in the field of building career strategies (Elena Rezanova) once said that the phrase: “At least some kind of stability” is very similar to what the wives of alcoholic husbands tell themselves: “At least some kind of family.” In fact, such women are simply afraid of being completely alone. However, if you apply some diligence, you can find a new husband and a job that will bring you a stable income and happiness.

Yes, risk is scary. However, it is thanks to him that people often manage to find the path in life that leads them to happiness. Therefore, try to discard all thoughts of danger and uncertainty and begin to solve problems as they arise. Even if something goes wrong, haven’t you had worse situations in your life? But you were able to get out of all the problems, weren’t you? Failures may or may not happen. However, if you stay in a job you don’t like, you won’t be able to see happiness - you can be sure.

Security and Stability

Previously, in order to achieve success, you had to go through a series of certain stages of career growth. First you need to work as an errand boy, then grow to become an assistant, and so on. This seemed like a certain stability and security; it was like a neat white fence around the front garden. In fact, such mythical stability subjugated our will. This fence did not protect, but prevented us from getting out of the delineated territory. But now other times have come and there is no longer any fence if we do not want to protect ourselves with it. In addition, there are no guarantees that our place will not be taken by someone else in the near future - millions of people would dream of getting into your position, into your prison, if such an opportunity presented itself to them.

Learn to perceive problems adequately

The basis of neurosis at work in an unloved place is that a person perceives even the slightest problems with hostility. Although, if you think about it, what’s so catastrophic about the fact that your boss asked you to take a safety exam that you should have passed a month ago? Why perceive a 2-3 day delay in wages as a problem on a universal scale?

It is precisely because most people simply cannot react normally to negative things that they have problems with their nerves, and then with their work. But who will benefit from this condition? Therefore, learn to perceive problems calmly, without negative emotions. Most often, a given situation has a simple solution that you just need to make. But people prefer to stress instead, focusing on their family or their own health.

If you learn to perceive negative situations adequately, then you will never have problems changing jobs if necessary. After all, you will know well that even failures can be solved in a short time in a very simple way. The most important thing is to stop thinking critically and start solving problems instead of discussing them. This skill will allow you to quit your job now.

Sources of fear

In the modern world, the search for stability comes first for both men and women. The job market is very diverse, but finding high-paying jobs is difficult. Every year, thousands of specialists join labor exchanges, and experienced employees of promising companies hold on to their places with all their might. A resignation letter for such an employee is akin to punishment. Dismissal, like all subsequent changes, horrifies the individual.

Where does the fear of quitting come from? A person is an individual who received education from her parents, gained experience and developed the principles that determine her way of life. Her primary task is self-realization, that is, finding her place in life. Money, as one of the decisive factors in choosing a job, influences the assessment of the current place of work. But even good salaries and the prospect of growth do not always satisfy the individual. For a number of reasons, she is afraid of losing her usual place and going in search of new positions.

Imagine what will happen to you in 10 years

What to do with a job you don’t like that literally won’t let you go for some reason? Quitting will require a huge source of motivation. You can get it from realizing what will happen to your life in 10 years if you continue to do the same thing you are doing now. Believe me, it is unlikely that anything will change for the better. Most likely, you will have to spend this entire period doing the same useless thing, receiving a tiny salary and ruining your nerves.

Now imagine exactly how your life will change if you start doing something you’ve always dreamed of? For many people, half the time was enough to build a huge business empire with only pennies in their hands. Believe me, you deserve a better life too. You just need to start acting, stopping putting off an important decision until tomorrow. In 10 years, you will thank fate for the fact that one day you were able to find the strength within yourself and leave that job that was dragging you down.

In searching of love

This medicine is available without a prescription, anyone will tell you: either change your job or change your attitude towards it. But people always forget about the instructions for use. And if we still somehow agree with the advice to change jobs, admitting the idea that, in principle, under a combination of incredible circumstances, it is possible to find a new job, but how can we change our attitude towards it? After all, she is so boring, stupid and underpaid! “Should I be happy about this meager salary?” - a typical reaction to a proposal to change your attitude towards work.

People are inherently great conservatives, even if they are out-and-out revolutionaries. In all manifestations of our activities, most of us use the same pattern of behavior, which psychologists call a life strategy. And when choosing a profession, and when choosing friends, and even when choosing a life partner. Moreover, we often use one strategy for... all of us. Look how the description of an ideal girlfriend sounds in the mouths of young people? Or how girls formulate the signs of a “prince on a white horse.” At the end of any definition, on both sides, a summary is made - “the heart will tell.” And here is the first divorce, the second, the third. And the heart keeps lying and lying. Let's look at the definition of an ideal job. It basically fits into three words: interesting, prestigious, highly paid. The same strategy is used - “the heart will tell.” And the same result: even if you have the strength to leave a job that brought only disappointment, you rarely manage to find something fundamentally new, and the next disappointments are only a matter of time. It turns out that the new job is not much different from the previous one. The only thing that keeps you from “divorcing” her in such cases is the need to have a means of subsistence.

It would be funny if it weren't so sad. Both in relationships with spouses and in relationships with work, the same extremes are often observed: some get divorced (change jobs) only because their spouse didn’t add enough salt to the soup (the boss yelled, they weren’t invited to a corporate party, they gave them old furniture), others live long lives years next to, one might say, a monster - he beats, drinks, does not give money (5 years without a raise, six months without a salary) and patiently endures everything - inferior, but his! These are, of course, extremes, but they are so popular in relationships with the “unloved.” In one case we lack either determination or patience, and in all cases we lack understanding, first of all, of ourselves. And a simple desire to come to an agreement, to find, if not a compromise, then at least the boundaries of comfort in a relationship. Try to stop, take two or three, or better yet, five deep and slow breaths and let yourself think, why is your work not satisfying you? What is bad about her, or rather, what is she lacking in ideal? Maybe you shouldn’t get a divorce “over soup”? Or wait for a certificate of honor for “40 years of hard work in conditions close to combat”?

Or maybe just reconsider your search strategy for the ideal job? After all, there are people for whom the question: “Is there a favorite job?” baffles. “Is there really another one?” - they are perplexed.

Think about your loved ones

Many people prefer to get used to a job they don’t like instead of starting a business that will provide them with a decent future. And it would be okay if we were talking about one person. However, in most cases, loved ones also suffer from refusal to make the right decision. After all, it’s unlikely that a job you don’t like will bring in a lot of money. It is unlikely that a person who wholeheartedly hates the business he is engaged in will have nerves of steel so as not to lash out at his significant other or children over trifles.

Understand that your loved ones deserve a much better future than they have now. If it were not for your unloved job, you would be able to dress your wife in beautiful dresses and buy her expensive cosmetics. Children wouldn't have to wear each other's clothes, and they wouldn't have to wait for a holiday to eat candy or get their favorite toy. And even more so, none of your loved ones deserve to be blamed. Therefore, stop tolerating what brings only problems into your life - your family deserves love and respect.

Decision making algorithm

The fear of changing jobs must be eradicated. Psychologists believe that one should act carefully and without unnecessary haste, which can lead to stress and new unpleasant events. A person must clearly understand that his fear of quitting will not disappear on its own, and therefore he needs to find its root cause. When it is eliminated, the employee will be able to move to another job.

Experts recommend adhering to the following algorithm of actions:

• deciding on the need for change;
• preparation for a gradual transition;
• searching for a suitable position;
• additional training if necessary for the new location;
• morale;
• change in thinking.

There is no need to make a decision in a fit of anger or despair. If the fear of change comes from a lack of self-confidence, then rash actions will only worsen the situation. The person will lose his comfort zone, and at the same time will not find the strength to continue the struggle, which will most likely lead to stress and subsequent depression.

The decision to change a position should be carefully considered, without haste or unnecessary emotions. Quitting a job and going to look for another position without professional training can leave a person disappointed, and therefore he needs to gradually get used to new thoughts and conditions.

Finding a job that will meet all the requirements of an individual is quite difficult, but do not despair. The following may help with this issue:

• special trainings and classes;
• visiting a psychologist;
• hobby;
• frank conversation with loved ones.

The proposed options for action can soften the transition from the comfort zone to the unknown world. It is imperative to remember that many people experience fear of changing their established lives, and doubts about their own knowledge and strength arise in almost every person. In addition, you should accept the fact that no one is immune from mistakes and failures.

Just do it!

"Just do it!" - a phrase that could inspire millions of people to commit the most courageous acts. It is translated from English like this: “Just do it!” If you can understand the meaning of these three words, they will motivate you for the rest of your life. In this phrase you can not only find the answer to the question: “How to leave a job you don’t like?”, but also to any others that torment you. But what is the secret of these words?

In fact, everything is quite simple, like the phrase itself. All you need to do is just do it. Would you think twice about it if one of your relatives told you: “Get up from your chair” or “Pick up that piece of paper from the floor”? You would just do it, wouldn't you? Do the same now. There is no need to think about the consequences and possible related problems. You have arms, legs, a head on your shoulders. So just do what should have been done a long time ago.

New strategy

Make an effort, try to approach both the definition and the search for your favorite job differently than before. If you don’t like it, you can always return to your previous strategy.

• Place. Look around. Are you satisfied with the place where you work? City district, building, premises and the workplace itself? What words would you use to describe everything together and each separately? Cold high-tech or a cozy home nest? How is your workplace structured? Maybe you should move the table, rotate it, or isolate it from the rest? What objects surround you? Desks and cabinets littered with papers or a jungle of indoor plants? Once you've identified your ideal environment, make a note for the future. For example: work should be 100 meters from the Kremlin or 10 meters from home. It is better to place the table by the window... or in a separate office. And in general, it would be great to get all the paperwork out of sight. And most importantly, what can you do now to bring the existing reality closer to the ideal? Maybe a conversation with your boss about a seat by the window and 20 minutes to sort out papers will be enough for this?
• Behavior. How do you get to work? Sometimes it’s better to get to work in a “bucket with nuts” in half an hour than to choke on the subway for an hour and a half. Or maybe, on the contrary, traffic jams take much more time and nerves than underground transport. What do you do at your workplace? How are your activities different in the morning, afternoon and evening? And even after work, at home. Is everything within the scope of your duties and responsibilities? And how often do you observe, and perhaps even participate in, conflicts? Do you go on business trips - a lot or a little? And what would you really like to do? Of course, leave the extremes of the “lying on a sun lounger under a palm tree” series to define the ideal vacation. It’s better to write down the following points in the list of characteristics of your dreams: travel time is no more than 40 minutes, business trips are no more than 10% of the time... or no less than 60, working hours are strictly from 9 to 18... or a flexible schedule. This will be useful in the future, but now you can change something, take a step towards realizing your plans. First, give up responsibilities that are not yours. Then push yourself a little and buy a car. The next step is to arrange relaxation sessions instead of regular smoking breaks. You can add a couple of ten-minute breaks to bring yourself back to normal. And when you come home, set aside 15 minutes to take a break from the hustle and bustle of work and truly return to your loved ones. Who knows, maybe this will be enough for your work to bring you pleasure in addition to your salary?
• Capabilities. I wonder if all your abilities are taken into account and realized at your current job? What do you have that is not yet in demand, that you could not only be proud of, but also use for the benefit of the common cause? Does anyone around you know about this? It's time to come out of hiding! Or maybe you overestimate yourself a little? Does your job require you to be overly active or impenetrable perseverance? What if you try to create the right balance between your abilities and responsibilities? And not in the future, but right now. You are active - take on part of the work done by your colleagues, which will certainly have a positive impact on your reputation. If you need more time for thoughtful activity, find yourself active assistants and stipulate a period when you are not available to anyone - you are working! And of course, decide for yourself in the future what is your ideal - activity or perseverance, vigorous creativity or meticulous execution, relationships with people or with objects. And look around, maybe behind the wall or even at the next table is the place where you can best apply your abilities. If you are sure of this, try to convince management of the benefits of your transfer to another place.
• Beliefs. Beliefs are our foundation in life. They rarely change and are not even always recognized, but they always lie at the root of the most difficult conflicts. A common case is a contradiction between the moral values ​​​​cultivated in the company and yours, regardless of whether they are good or not. Or, for example, you think that you don’t care, you work only for money and don’t think at all about the fact that your work is useless and does not bring any benefit, and the company’s activities do not make the world a better place. In fact, if a contradiction arises between your moral values ​​and the surrounding reality, a process of accumulation of disappointment with work and with yourself begins, which can even turn into low-grade depression (its most severe form). And our beliefs help or, conversely, hinder us from making a choice - to stay in that job or find a new, more worthy one. If you realized that the current state of things does not suit you, what is holding you back? Inertia? Again - beliefs. We prove to ourselves that we are unworthy of more, better jobs that are only found by people with connections or certain “unattractive” qualities. We are afraid to even try - what if it doesn’t work out? But still, you can and should work with your own beliefs. On your own, although it is difficult and time-consuming, or with the help of a specialist. If you think you can handle it yourself, go for it. Well-known statements help: “I am worthy of a good job”, “The work is worthy of me”, etc. Say them morning and evening, in a good and bad mood. And listen to yourself, how do these words resonate within you? You may even hear objections. Whose voices are these - moms or dads, what and in what words do they say? What do you personally think about this? Hear your own voice!
• Personality. Have you ever wondered who you are at work? Sometimes it comes through in your own words: “What am I to them, an errand girl?” or “We found the last one!” But really, who are you in your company? Not a chief accountant or programmer, this is not about a profession or functional responsibilities, but about self-awareness. What is your role? Maybe you are the life of the party, or maybe you are the universal vest for the tears invisible to the world? Emotional leader or eminence grise? Highly qualified specialist or first aid? Are you satisfied with your current role? If not, who would you like to be? And what qualities do you need for the role that would suit you? Identify them for yourself and develop them through various trainings or seek help from a psychologist.
• Mission. The difficult question is: “Why am I here?” If you can’t decide on the answer, play the “secret heir” game. Imagine that you and only you know that soon, for some reason, you will become the sole and rightful owner of your company. Let's say in a year or two. And you have the opportunity to look at the company’s work from the inside through the eyes of the future owner. Allow yourself to play this game without letting anyone know. At a minimum, this approach will help change the way you look at your place and company. Or maybe you will like it and make unexpected discoveries for yourself.

How to work at a job you don't like: advice from a psychologist

Unfortunately, sometimes situations arise when you simply have to put up with a job you don’t like. Even if you write a letter of resignation, you will have to work a couple more weeks in order to leave with a clear conscience. This is not even a moral obligation of every person, but a law that is spelled out in the Labor Code. Therefore, we recommend that you familiarize yourself with the advice of psychologists who will help you come to terms with the fact that for some time you will still have to do something that you do not like.

1. Take the situation for granted. In most cases, it’s enough to simply accept the fact that you will still have to work at a job you don’t like for a while. To do this, try to think not about how many days you still have to endure the torment, but focus on the time when everything will be fine. Think about how you will arrange your office when you are rich, or what kind of paintings you will paint in the near future. Dreaming is extremely useful!
2. Use the time to prepare for your new life. It is not at all necessary to focus on just work around the clock. If you only have a couple of weeks left to do something you don’t like, then be sure to use these days to pass an interview at a new place or attend courses on implementing business projects. This will not only benefit you in the future, but will also take your mind off the negativity in the present.
3. Try to find a job during this time. This is not about the business you want to do. Just try to look for additional opportunities to earn money if suddenly something doesn’t work out with your lifelong dream. If at least 2-3 employers schedule an interview for you, this means that you are a valuable employee. To find a job, use online classifieds or contact the employer directly. This will distract you from an activity you don't enjoy.

We hope you now better understand how not to be afraid to leave a job you don’t like. Remember that life cannot change for the better if a person does nothing for it. You can tolerate rude attitude from your superiors and low salary. However, this will not lead you to achieve your dreams. You deserve to be respected. You deserve to live without needing anything. To do this, you just need to take a step towards the unknown. Believe me, related problems will always be present. However, if you continue to do something that you don’t like, then life will not change.

Fears when leaving work

I once believed that a non-working woman, a housewife, degrades as a person. What should I talk to her about? About pies? Cleaning or a quarrel with a neighbor? Boring, uninteresting, monotonous. And I had no idea that I would want to become like this.

But at one point, my husband and I had to quit at the same time. The company is in financial difficulties, and the director decided to fire the highest paid specialist. And I, as the wife of a Decembrist, followed my husband. And with pleasure. I have never met such a viper as this company anywhere.

It was really difficult to communicate. I can’t say that the women’s team is to blame. There are wonderful women's groups in which I have had the opportunity to work. So I have something to compare with. Everything immediately went wrong at this company, and I would have quit long ago, but my husband held me back.

And here we are - unemployed. He is a financial director, I am an accountant. But they didn’t sit idle for long. My husband was invited to a large holding company, and I... I stayed to work at home as an accountant, wife and homemaker. I like it better than being a housewife.

This happened ten and a half years ago. In the first year it really depressed me. I was always trying to find a job offline, believing that at home I was losing my qualifications, communication, and if, God forbid, something happened, I wouldn’t be able to get a job anywhere. Three years later this feeling passed. And in return came freedom and peace.

A change of scenery

When an employee, while at an enterprise, feels discomfort, cannot concentrate, and does not experience satisfaction from his job duties, psychologists recommend analyzing the situation in order to understand the reason for this condition. If the problem lies in the profession, then changing the type of activity is simply necessary.

If the feeling of fear before changing work responsibilities is caused by complexes or a low assessment of one’s abilities, then you can try to overcome it yourself. To do this, you need to decide to change your lifestyle.

You should gradually mentally separate work responsibilities and the people who are associated with them, because changing positions does not mean the end of friendly relationships. It’s quite possible to communicate with colleagues who have become friends outside the office, especially if you have common hobbies. In this way, a person will be able to maintain close relationships that are important to him, which will help him more easily cope with leaving his usual environment and adapting to a new workplace.

In order to decide on a new specialty, you can use career guidance tests. They provide an opportunity to understand what types of activities bring joy and inspiration to a person. Even a hobby can become your favorite profession, because with the right approach, almost any activity will bring a stable income.