How to put your thoughts in order: psychological practices, concentration exercises, working on yourself and advice from psychologists

We all produce thoughts.
Every day. From morning to evening. There are days when they unexpectedly get into your head and don’t want to go away, they spin, get confused, in a word - they create a mess in your head. But we don’t know what to grab onto, where to run, we don’t think well. Oh, if only we had the opportunity to sort our thoughts in alphabetical order or into the categories “good, kind thoughts”, “thoughts about the essence of earthly existence”, “thoughts about money”, “thoughts about love”, “thoughts about cats”, “thoughts about problems at work”, etc. We clutter our heads with thoughts, and they take away our energy and time (well, for example, it’s time to sleep, we go to bed, but we can’t sleep, because thoughts don’t let us sleep). We stumble everywhere with scattered thoughts. Such internal turmoil makes life much more difficult. I suggest choosing ways to cope with mental chaos that are suitable for you.

Way of thinking

Publications in newspapers and magazines, self-development literature, even posts on social networks - everywhere you can find simple articles marked “The Mind of a Rich Man.” Therefore, we can confidently say that it is precisely the characteristics of thinking that distinguish happy people from unhappy people, and rich from poor.

To change your life, you must first understand the reason why you are not happy with it. And for this you need to put your thoughts in order. How to do it? To be honest, it's not that difficult. This is necessary so that, having gained strength, you can rush into battle again, but not step on the same rake, but actually change something in your life and achieve your cherished goal called “happiness.”

Some people mistakenly believe that to achieve their goals you need to develop willpower. But you can’t go far on it alone, it’s good for a “sprint,” but life and the process of achieving a goal is not a marathon. Therefore, first you need to understand yourself and your thoughts, understand what you really want. In pursuit of your true dream, you cannot fuss; only daily small steps without violence against yourself gradually give results.

Deep breathing

Qigong is not only the least traumatic gymnastics, but also one of the most successful techniques for overcoming stress.
Shallow squats are accompanied by arm swings and special breathing. The technique is easy to master without preparation at any age and after the first lessons you can feel how your physical and emotional state improves. Eighteen basic exercises help you control your breathing and stop your internal dialogue. If you exercise once or twice a week, then in a stressful situation it will be enough to restore your breathing rhythm and imagine yourself doing the exercise in order to quickly come to your senses and tune in to the work atmosphere.

Get Zen

Interesting fact: a person does not even suspect that he is thinking negatively until someone rubs his nose into this problem. Only then does he begin to wonder how to put his thoughts in order.

Firstly, you need to isolate yourself from everything for 1-2 days. Down with the phone, the Internet and work. Secondly, clean your house. Order in thoughts begins with order in your living space.

There are 10 ways to do all this. The following actions, which will be discussed further, will help you put your thoughts in order.

Speak out

It’s good if there are people in your environment with whom you can “talk”, communicate mentally, who are able to listen to you. With them, you can not hide what bothers you, but, on the contrary, share what worries you and prevents you from living a normal life. Often such conversations begin chaotically, but soon you can put your “scattered” thoughts into clear words, and, accordingly, sort them out. Just don’t abuse the goodwill of your family and friends, don’t overload them for minor reasons. If you still need to talk it out because you can’t cope with the situation, contact a psychologist: listening to clients is part of his job (as well as unraveling thoughts).

Preparation

Getting rid of trash will help you put your thoughts in order and calm down. Surely everyone has things that “may come in handy someday.” Don't lie to yourself, they won't be useful. The same goes for old notes, drafts, notes to yourself, and so on. Psychologists say that by freeing oneself from this garbage, a person prepares his subconscious to create something new.

The second thing you need to do is mentally prepare yourself for change. To do this, you need to imagine an ideal image of your future life. Try to feel like the person you once wanted to become - healthy, successful, loved and truly happy.

Habit of negative thinking

In fact, a negative perception of reality is completely natural for a person - you shouldn’t blame yourself for it. After all, our brain has retained a lot of mammalian features. And for animals, it is important to focus on dangers and worst-case scenarios in order to survive and ensure the safety of their children. [1]

The good news is that the habit of perceiving the world in black is really just a habit, neural connections that have been built over many years. This is a consequence of a variety of factors:

• education and parental attitudes;
• fast pace of life, and as a result - frequent stress and lack of time for oneself;
• characteristics of character or temperament: for example, melancholic people are fearful and naturally prone to pessimism;
• hormonal imbalances that can cause depression and other mental disorders;
• the influence of the media, which more often publish bad news for the sake of high traffic.

Simply put, pessimism is a learned behavior, not something innate that cannot be eliminated. How to stop thinking negatively? You just need to build new neural chains. It is quite possible to cultivate an optimistic outlook on the world, because it is built according to the same laws as a negative one.

Let's learn to be an optimist

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No fuss

To put your thoughts in order, before going to bed you need to make a plan of action for the next day. While a person is sleeping, his subconscious processes the assigned tasks, and he will be able to solve them much faster.

It is worth remembering one important thing: everything that is done is for the better. It often happens that a person desperately wants a certain event to happen in his life. But all his efforts are in vain. The Dalai Lama said that not getting what you want is that unique gift of fate that no one pays attention to. So don't get too hung up on this or you'll miss out on a lot of excellent chances.

Causes of development of mental disorders

The main cause of all of these mental disorders is the extensive death of cells in the cerebral cortex, caused by the toxic effects of ethanol and leading to a large-scale breakdown of existing neural connections.
In addition, with large volumes of alcohol consumption, rupture of blood vessels in the brain often occurs, followed by hemorrhage, additional death of neurons and prolonged disruption of the blood supply to brain tissue. When capillaries rupture, this occurs relatively unnoticed by the drinker, but if larger vessels are damaged, a stroke can occur.

Thus, mental disorders after binge drinking occur due to a disruption of the information signal exchange system and a persistent lack of nutrition of brain cells.

Nature

Man's best friend is nature; it is she who best helps to put thoughts and feelings in order. Just as hundreds of years ago, it still calms, inspires and fills us with strength. Therefore, you need to walk more often, and even better, arrange short trips for yourself. Why not take any train on a Friday evening and explore the next village, town or region?

No one returns from travel, even such a small one, the same. A person learns something new, he is filled with positive emotions, and time spent alone with himself makes it possible to better understand his inner world. It may be that while carelessly walking the streets of another city, a person will suddenly be illuminated by an amazing idea that will help radically change his life for the better.

Calm, just calm

You shouldn’t give up the well-known “Count to 10” rule. Are you filled with resentment? Don't answer right away, wait a few hours. During this time, you will have time to find the very necessary words or you will not need to answer.

Don't beat yourself up over failure. Try to analyze mistakes as an outside observer, as if it were not you, but someone else who found yourself in a stressful situation. This will help avoid unnecessary emotions. Draw conclusions and promise to do differently next time. Self-resentment takes away strength and prevents you from moving forward.

Books and stationery

How to put your thoughts in order? A book is the best helper. If you are overcome by difficult thoughts, read. A book can take a person from everyday life to another reality, and there, you see, all the answers will be found.

Psychologists also recommend using a method of putting thoughts in order called freewriting. You need to retire to a quiet place, take a piece of paper, a pen and write. Just write. These can be individual thoughts, incoherent words, sets of phrases. The main thing is not to think about what you write. This is such a unique way to express all the painful things, ask questions and get answers to them.

You need to continue this session for about 40 minutes. After that, put the pen down and read what happened. As practice shows, a person really finds the correct answers among a meaningless scattering of words.

“Now sit and listen...”

Well, you won’t be able to sit, but you need to listen to yourself, this is the main condition for success. The inner voice sounds clearest when you manage to turn off your head and drown out the panic. Try the following methods.

Write

Keep a diary. This is not easy, but it brings great benefits. The events and experiences you record every day will have a different meaning as time passes. When you start re-reading this, you will learn a lot of new and interesting things.

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Sleep

Sleep is responsible for the quality of your actions and decisions; he is perhaps the main person here. It is very likely that chaos in the soul is a consequence of banal insomnia. Sleep as much as your body requires. Many somnologists (doctors who treat sleep disorders) agree that during sleep, memories are formed and information received during the day is distributed.

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Remove

You can’t even imagine how much our state of mind is connected to the picture around us. It’s not for nothing that people love comfortable housing with fresh renovations and are willing to overpay for a gorgeous view from the window. Start small, tidy up your room. And then the head will “tighten up.”

Photo by Volha Flaxeco on Unsplash

Focus

The current pace of life forces you to do everything on the run and in a hurry; you are simultaneously solving several issues, including those that determine your life. Learn to concentrate on one object, do not switch to another until you complete it. Don’t be afraid to develop hangovers; on the contrary, your productivity will increase. Spend the freed up reserves on something useful, for example...

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Take a walk

Walking alone is the same meditation plus reasonable physical activity. Choose the right routes; uncrowded streets, squares and parks are good for your purposes. Contemplate, reflect, listen to yourself.

Photo by Arek Adeoye on Unsplash

Health

To put your thoughts in order, you need to take care of your health. Often, a feeling of anxiety appears due to the fact that the body lacks some vitamins, there is not enough (or excess) physical activity, the body suffers from nicotine, alcohol and caffeine (in fact, this is not uncommon in the modern world).

Therefore, you need to give up bad habits, go in for sports or meditation (the best option is yoga), include more vegetables and fruits in your diet, while eliminating fried, too spicy and salty foods.

Causes of bad thoughts

The fight against negative thoughts can only begin after a thorough analysis of the situation and identification of the cause of their occurrence. Some process always contributes to the appearance of dark thoughts.

Obsessive ideas contribute to the emergence of negative emotions, and a person’s life turns into a nightmare.

The most common causes of negative thoughts are:

1. Character traits. For some people, negative thinking prevails from childhood, and it becomes their habit in adulthood. In this case, a person sees the world in a dark color and cannot do otherwise. Sensitive individuals take everything to heart because of their personality. They tirelessly replay the events that happened in their heads.
2. Low self-esteem. Flaws in appearance, physical abnormalities or psychological reasons, in most cases, provoke the appearance of self-doubt. Many people tend to focus on their defects and feel that everyone around them notices their shortcomings. It is not possible to relax in such a situation. Low self-esteem can also occur in outwardly attractive people. Factors in its development include reproaches from others and condemnation that lingers in memory for a long time.
3. Negative experience. A series of unpleasant situations could have a significant impact on the psyche and way of thinking. The person still has the fear that the negative event may happen again in the future. This often happens to victims of violence.
4. Suspiciousness. This character trait is expressed in constant fear and alertness. The reason for this behavior can even be a book read or a story from the news. People prone to suspiciousness often experience persecution mania.
5. Inability to make a decision. Some individuals cannot determine their own desires; they constantly doubt their choices, even if it concerns small things.
6. Environment. Society often inspires people that everything is bad and there is nothing positive in life. Such individuals actively impose their opinions on others and try to criticize everyone around them, developing in others complexes and fear of the future.
7. Loneliness. Some people are lonely and need attention, care and love. Most often women find themselves in this situation. In the absence of a strong shoulder nearby, fragile ladies take on male obligations; it seems to them that there is nowhere to wait for help and support.
8. Difficult situation. The impetus for the predominance of negative thoughts can be some event: a major quarrel, divorce, an accident with someone close and much more. In such cases, it is important not to withdraw into yourself and become depressed.

Games

Psychologists sometimes advise playing games to calm down and distract from obsessive thoughts. These can be the most common children's yard games, as well as computer shooters, puzzles, racing, etc.

Research has shown that gaming allows a person to abstract from reality for a while. While he is playing, the subconscious is actively working in search of a solution to the problem. In addition, games help relieve nervous tension and release pent-up aggression, which is important if you need to put your thoughts in order.

Concentration exercises

To put your thoughts in order in your head, as practice has shown, you also need to learn to abstract yourself from public opinion. We mentioned above an exercise called freewriting, which helps to throw out all the negative and obsessive thoughts, and then find answers to questions among this chaotic flow. In addition to it, there are special exercises for concentration. Here are a few of the simplest and most interesting:

1. Concentration with water. You need to pour water into a glass, take it with your fingers and hold it at eye level. Attention must be focused only on the water - it must remain motionless. You can start from a minute and then increase the interval to 5-6.
2. Calm body. The essence of the method is to completely relax while awake. The exercise begins by choosing the most comfortable body position - sitting. Afterwards you need to completely relax so that not a single muscle moves. It's difficult, but over time you will get used to it. It is important to concentrate on the stationary object, and not on the problems. Session duration is 5-15 minutes.
3. Listen to the body. The best exercise for concentration is the ability to listen to your body. You need to relax, take a sitting position and start counting your heartbeat. You can hear how it slows down its rhythm, starting to work more slowly and calmly.

You should always do what you like, fill every day with bright emotions and impressions, give up work you don’t like and people who make you feel unhappy. Then you won’t even have a question about how to put your thoughts in order.

How to calm down and clear your mind

Being a little nervous is sometimes very useful - an acceptable level of stress allows you to pull yourself together and become more focused. But excessive nervousness harms both social life and health.

We get nervous when things don't go the way we would like. There are many examples:

• The alarm didn't go off and you woke up two hours later.
• Your favorite team lost.
• Lost toothpaste cap.

That is, sometimes there is no need for a special reason for nerves. A person develops anxiety in isolation from reality. And despite the fact that these are all different cases, they have one thing in common: irritation and anger will not help solve them. In very rare situations they can be used (for example, if you are an athlete), but often this is a waste of time, effort and energy. But that's not all. In response, a person develops bad habits that are designed to help him relieve stress.

Habits that appear in response to nervousness

Human laziness knows no bounds. When we have mental problems, rarely does anyone start looking for solutions by trying to eliminate the root cause. Instead, we develop habits, albeit unconsciously, many of which have detrimental effects on our health.

• Binge eating . People eat a lot for a variety of reasons, but this is one of the main ones. When a feeling of emptiness, frustration and anxiety appears, a person begins to “seize” the problem. Often not the healthiest food.
• Smoking . For many, the first cigarette is hardly a symbol of the solution to all problems, but after some time it becomes one. Have a quarrel with a loved one? I need to go have a smoke. Is your boss putting pressure on you and not letting you live? Time to go to the smoking room.
• Alcohol . Some people just like to drink, but even then, hidden mental problems can be found. The desire to escape from reality when you cannot show willpower and cope with problems is understandable, but cannot serve as an excuse. Many people also associate alcohol and smoking - together they are a symbol of relaxation and freedom.
• Drugs . There are many examples of how a successful person was unable to cope with the burden of popularity and responsibility, which is why he became addicted to drugs. We won’t cite them; you already know everything very well.

Despite the fact that we often talk about the importance of putting our body in order, the psyche should be addressed first. More on this.

How to calm your nerves at home

Let's say you have 30 minutes to calm your nerves. This time will be enough if you apply the following step-by-step strategy.

Step One: Get Clarity

We are so used to being nervous that we do it unconsciously and don’t even know why. It becomes a habit. So the first thing to do is ask yourself: “What am I nervous about?”

The process has begun. You've got your answer. Now find out the reasons for your nervousness. For example:

• fear of criticism;
• fear of making a mistake;
• fear of humiliation.

As we see, in many cases nervousness arises from fear of a painful future. Which, however, often does not occur.

Some psychologists believe that the main reason for nervousness is that you are afraid that you will not be perfect. Ask yourself:

• What exactly am I afraid of?
• Are these fears justified?
• Are they rational or irrational? Are these fears real or am I just having a good fantasy?
• How are these fears and concerns causing me pain?

It is very important to find out which of these fears are real and which are imaginary. The fact that you can be criticized is not the end of everything and no one will most likely beat you for it.

Step Two: Challenge Your Fears

Now, instead of focusing on your nerves, be constructive: challenge your fears with distracting questions. Ask yourself:

• How else can you look at this situation?
• What if I was excited instead of annoyed?
• How to create curiosity instead of fear?

Once you've explored several different perspectives on the same situation, it's time to create worst-case scenarios in the best traditions of Stoicism.

Ask yourself:

• What's the worst that could happen?
• So what happens if this worst case scenario occurs?
• Could this be a great experience and opportunity for me to grow?

It is important to always keep in mind that every situation is an experience.

Step three: clarify what exactly you want

The period of preparation begins. Here you must figure out what and how you are going to do. Ask yourself:

• What is my desired outcome?
• What obstacles may I encounter along the way?
• What resources might I need? For example, knowledge, techniques, skills.
• How can I get these resources?
• What exactly should I do?

These questions are aimed at taking matters into your own hands. Are you afraid of being criticized and want to learn how to deal with it emotionally? Then why not read a few articles on how to behave in such situations? This way you will at least try to control the situation instead of dwelling on your worries.

Also refer to your past experience:

• What has worked for me many times in the past?
• How did I deal with my emotions back then?
• What can I learn from this experience?

Don't underestimate your past experience. Surely similar situations have happened and you came out of them with honor.

Step Four: Take Small Steps Forward

Feel free to implement everything that you found out in the previous stages. You don’t need to expect that you will succeed the first time; you should always move forward gradually.

What if you only have a minute?

But what if you have very little time and need to get yourself in order very quickly? The following tips will help calm your nerves in one minute.

Breathe as if you are sleeping

Take twelve breaths. Let each subsequent one be softer, slower, quieter and less intense. With the latter, you should feel like you are barely breathing, it has become so calm.

If possible, relax your body one by one. The most important areas are: neck, arms, stomach, jaw and eyes.

Observe, listen and feel

This method is implemented in 3 stages:

1. Pay attention to the shapes, colors and textures of the objects around you. Don't rush anywhere. Appreciate the richness of your visual experience.
2. Close your eyes and try to hear five different sounds. Try to feel the difference between them, but do not divide them into pleasant and unpleasant.
3. Finally, identify five different sensations in your body. For example, the way clothes touch the skin, the touch of a hand on a table, the temperature difference between different parts of the body, and so on.

Create a positive emotion in yourself

What positive emotion would you like to experience? Maybe joy, delight, gratitude, warmth, tenderness. Actors know that they can easily get themselves into the right state using a variety of techniques, so take our free acting course.

If you don’t have time, remember a situation from the past when you experienced this emotion. Immerse yourself in that moment and fully experience it. Use your memory to your advantage.

Tension-relaxation technique

The essence of this technique is simple: alternately tense different parts of your body for ten seconds, after which completely relax. For example:

• Close your eyes.
• Strain your neck.
• Tighten your stomach.
• Touch your tongue to the roof of your mouth.
• Tighten your legs alternately.

Try to understand the difference between a tense body and a relaxed one. Think exclusively about your feelings. This method very quickly puts your nerves in order and clears your mind.

How to calm your nerves at work

It’s one thing to calm your nerves at home and completely different at work, where there are a lot of people and it’s not always possible to be alone for a long time. How to calm down in such a situation?

We all understand that worry and nervousness will not help, but will only make the situation worse. But the banal “Stop!” not enough. Here are some tips to help you deal with them.

Rearrange your morning

Yes, this advice deals a preemptive blow to nervousness and cannot be applied if you have already received a fair share of stress. But it is important to know about it.

Agree, it’s hard not to be nervous if you only slept for three hours, didn’t have breakfast in the morning, and managed to quarrel in the transport on the way to the office.

So it all starts in the morning, or rather, from the previous evening. No matter how trivial it may sound: get enough sleep.

The most important thing you need to achieve at work is to learn not to react to problems and requests, but to prepare for and prevent them. For example, if you come to the office in the morning and do personal business, then later you will be overwhelmed by a huge amount of work and stress will arise by itself.

Therefore, the main thing is a productive morning. Organize it in such a way that you can solve subsequent problems with peace of mind, leaving a “temporary cushion” for this.

Take mini breaks

If you feel increasing nervousness, try to take mini-breaks to recover. Don't think about work or problems, just sit in silence for a few minutes, or put on headphones and listen to relaxing music.

Start breathing correctly

Physiology is closely related to nervousness. If we breathe very quickly, we are telling our body to produce cortisol, the stress hormone.

Start counting your inhalations and exhalations. Let your breathing be natural, do not force it. The exercise can last no more than two minutes, so you can use it in almost any situation.

How to calm your nerves before presentations and speeches

Here are some tips to help you relieve stress and get in the best possible mood before your speech or presentation.

Know your audience

If you don't know what language to communicate with your audience, this can be a key mistake. And if at the very beginning you see puzzled looks, you will begin to get very nervous. To prevent this from happening, study your audience.

• What does she know and what doesn't she know?
• How can you surprise her?
• What language should you speak to her?
• What form of presentation will she appreciate?
• What qualities of a speaker does she value most?

Study the material

Nothing makes you more nervous than not knowing your material. To do this, it’s not enough to just write some text on your knees and create a couple of slides. You should learn as much information as possible, even if you don't use it.

Structure your presentation

The structure of the presentation depends entirely on the amount of time. You must remember the three key points of your presentation perfectly. Usually no more is needed. Learn to correctly connect them with each other: there should be smooth transitions from one key moment to another. To learn how to do this, take a course in storytelling. In it, you'll learn how to craft your storytelling to captivate your audience using simple but effective techniques.

Practice

Practice should be understood as training. If this is your first time performing, you shouldn’t expect overwhelming success from yourself.

The best thing you can do is learn how to give presentations at home or in other settings. The point is that the important presentation should be the twentieth, thirtieth or even hundredth.

How to relieve stress?

Often a person is unable to notice his nervousness because it becomes a habit. This can lead to stress. It is much easier to notice, because it is more destructive to the body. How to deal with it?

There are a lot of ways to relieve stress, so it is important to choose the most interesting ones. That is, those that you did not know about. For example, you already know that you need to meditate every morning, keep a diary and do exercises. And this is truly the best advice that can be given. But the following recommendations can also be added to the above practices.

Focus

What you focus on gives corresponding emotions. This simple thought actually explains all our mental problems.

Thinking about a conflict with a colleague? Do you remember yesterday's failures? Are you angry about something you can't change? Then negative emotions will come immediately. The same meditation works mainly because it allows you to not think about anything and clear your mind. Sports are also effective because rarely does a person think about his personal problems during exercise.

This does not mean that you should not think about problems. You just need to do it differently . Focus on the present moment and what you are doing right now. Don't think about the future or possible mistakes of the past.

Be proactive

To become proactive, you first need to learn to look at the world with optimism. No matter what happens in it, there is no point in seeing black tones, even if they are the vast majority.

Also, always be aware of yourself: what you are doing and why you are doing it. Detach yourself emotionally from the situation with this simple technique.

Finally, practice being proactive. This is the ability of a person to choose his own reaction to external stimuli. This is the ability to solve problems based on your values, regardless of conditions and circumstances.

Move more

When a person is under stress, he, of course, can make a lot of movements, but at the same time do it completely in the wrong way. Mostly, he tenses his body.

Do simple exercises, walk, jog. Stress usually appears from the inside, but it can be influenced from the outside.

We wish you good luck!

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We also recommend reading:

• Storytelling
• Psychology of patience
• How to cope with fear: a selection of useful materials
• Emotional eating
• Reframing Your Dark Side
• Strong Personality Skills
• What is fear and how to overcome it
• How to stop being nervous
• How to deal with the fear of rejection
• How to cope with tragedy
• Managing team emotions

Key words:1Psychoregulation