In psychology, melancholy is considered to be a whole complex of strong negative emotions, in which we can distinguish mental longing, anxiety, sadness, boredom, despair, bad mood, hopelessness, and painful despondency. A person in such a state cannot find a place for himself, it is as if something is gnawing him from the inside, he feels alone in this world and completely lost.
Not only sleep and appetite disappear, but also the desire to do something, go somewhere, communicate with someone. The reasons can be different: parting with a loved one, death of a loved one, the desire to return to the past, living away from home and family, etc. If you do not look for a way out of this situation, in the future it leads to protracted and deep depression. There are different ways and techniques to get rid of melancholy. The main thing is to find the strength to use them.
For what? For what?
If a person is overcome by spiritual anguish, he constantly asks himself the same question: “Why?” It seems to him that the whole world has turned against him, that fate is unfair to him, that he is the only one so unhappy. He begins to think about why he was abandoned (betrayed, exiled, excommunicated, fired, etc.), gradually overthinks himself and comes to the conclusion that he became a victim of some kind of evil fate, this is what the unknown Higher powers decided, such is his lot, which he cannot change, as a result he gives up, there is no desire to fight.
To get rid of the feeling of melancholy, first of all you need to get rid of obsessive thoughts and stop asking this rhetorical question, which creates a dead end. How to do it:
- use a visualization method: imagine a red panic button with the inscription “For what?” and mentally forbid yourself to press it;
- paraphrase it into “For what?” (“Why?”, “What has changed?”) and try to answer it first - to yourself, and then - on paper;
- distribute the recorded answers into 2 columns - positive and negative consequences;
- think about this more often and fill the columns daily.
If you apply this method correctly, after a week the question “Why?” will disappear from my head. After all, it will be replaced by another - the light at the end of the tunnel, the way out of the dead end, the sun among the clouds. But the work doesn't end there. In order to finally free yourself from the melancholy in your soul, you need to more often re-read the column in which the positive consequences of the event that caused this state are recorded. If you focus on them, you will gradually realize that everything is not as bad as it initially seemed.
For example, a girl suffering from lovesickness cannot understand for a long time why (“Why?”) her boyfriend left her. What thoughts come to her mind:
- "I `m ugly";
- "I am fat";
- “I have a potato nose”;
- “I don’t have an apartment”;
- “I don’t suit him in bed”;
- “he feels bad with me”, etc.
As a result, internal complexes are formed. In fact, the reason for the separation may lie in something completely different (this most often happens). To get rid of the melancholy, which only intensifies from all these thoughts, she should answer another question - “For what?”:
- to have more free time;
- so as not to cry from his eternal delays and inattention;
- so as not to be afraid of losing him anymore;
- so as not to suffer from attacks of jealousy;
- to truly find your person who will never leave or betray, etc.
Understanding that everything that is done is for the better will help you survive the longing for your loved one, but already an “ex.” You just need to let go of the situation and stop holding on to relationships that have already ended. This technique is taken from the psychology of positive thinking. It will allow you to leave the past and start living from scratch - without despondency, anxiety and disappointment.
Looking for the original source
Most often, sadness does not appear without a reason. And although the reason initially seems unclear, it is always there. Use the questionnaire below to understand the root cause of sadness. If you know why you feel sad, go straight to the second paragraph of the article.
Ask yourself questions:
- Have there been any situations lately that have made me angry?
- Do I feel anxious about upcoming decisions, actions, or purchases?
- Have I recently had a quarrel with loved ones?
- Do I trust my significant other?
- What do I think of myself?
- What do I think about my life: is it filled with bright colors, or am I increasingly thinking about its meaninglessness?
If, while answering any of the questions, you felt nervous, most likely you have touched a sore spot. Don't try to put pressure on yourself and solve the problem abruptly. It is enough to start by meeting it face to face and recognizing its existence.
It happens that you can’t figure out on your own why the melancholy sets in. Do not despair. The skill of reflection is acquired over time.
Filling the void
The psychological technique of right and wrong questions described above does not always work. Especially when you are tormented by despondency and sadness from the loss of a loved one. In such a situation, a technique for filling the void that is formed with loss will help.
Previously, we shared joy and sorrow with him, walked and traveled together, helped each other, understood each other perfectly. When he disappears, the ideal world that was held together by two collapses. Unbearable loneliness hits you headlong. There is nowhere to go, no one to talk to, no one wants to see, no one can understand.
You can get rid of the feeling of loneliness only by gradually filling the resulting emptiness. Psychologists immediately warn: alcohol, drugs, dubious companies, daily parties - all these are pseudo-pleasures that allow you to forget only for a while. They should be abandoned immediately.
What can you do to fill the void?
- go on a trip: psychologists say that new positive emotions and a change of environment are the best way to get rid of melancholy;
- find a pleasant company, don’t be alone, try to constantly be with someone who is nice, unobtrusive and not annoying;
- do what you like: hobbies, sports, volunteering and other things that will bring satisfaction;
- throw yourself into work so that there is no extra time left for longing for the past;
- to care for someone: a child, an old person, a pet, a sick or suffering person.
The main thing is not to feel guilty before the deceased person, as if you are betraying him by continuing to live. This technique works slowly but surely. It can also be used in cases where hopelessness and sadness are associated with other events: separation, loneliness, a feeling of uselessness, etc.
A spell for longing and sadness after a breakup
Many poems and prose works, paintings and sculptures, songs and plays are devoted to love themes.
It is this feeling that pushes a person to the most reckless actions.
And everything is wonderful when the love is mutual, and the eyes of two lovers sparkle with joy.
But it also happens that love passes, leaving a place for emptiness and melancholy. You can deal with these consequences yourself, or you can resort to magical help.
A spell for melancholy is a magical ritual that will help you recover from a breakup or breakup and start a new life, overcoming sadness and depression.
"Gold fish"
All people have at least once dreamed of a goldfish appearing in their life and fulfilling all their desires. Melancholy is exactly the state when it’s finally time to turn this fantasy into reality. What is the point of this technique? The problem is that a person crushed by hopelessness has practically no goals, aspirations, or hopes. All he wants is to be left alone and not be annoyed with unnecessary worries and stupid questions. As a rule, with the advent of despondency, time seems to freeze: career, development of personal relationships, communication with friends, self-improvement - everything freezes. This happens precisely because of the lack of desires.
They need to be awakened within yourself. As soon as you want something bright, good, positive, it means the ice has broken. But how to do that? To begin with, write down what could please you at the moment. Then distribute everything into two columns: positive and negative.
For example:
Write down in the columns everything that comes to mind - even the wildest and most unrealizable fantasies. At this stage, the main thing is to find them in yourself. Fill out the tablet for 3-4 days, catching desires and remembering what you love and what brings you true pleasure. Now is the time to give them to the goldfish for sale. Proceed according to the following algorithm:
- Re-read the column with negative desires. Realize that each of them brings false pleasure.
- Tear this part of the sheet and throw it away (burn it/throw it to the wind).
- Re-read the column with positive desires.
- Choose from them the one that can be implemented right now without any problems.
- Make sure that it will truly become a source of positive emotions for you.
Give the goldfish the task of making your chosen wish come true. Have you already guessed that you will play it yourself? Go and buy yourself a bucket of ice cream. Turn on a funny comedy and eat your favorite treat while listening to it. The main thing is to feel this moment, catch a little happiness, remember a pleasant moment, and be filled with positive emotions. This is the first step to getting rid of melancholy.
Tomorrow go for a walk, the day after tomorrow play your favorite online strategy game. Then take on more difficult desires. Do you want to be understood? Then you need to open up to someone, and for this you will at least have to go out into society and start communicating. Have you always dreamed of buying a pug? So what's the deal? After all, you are a goldfish yourself. Get a job, climb the career ladder, save money - and soon you won’t have to get rid of boredom yourself. After all, a little fluffy bundle of happiness will do a great job with it.
Plot for longing on the nail
A ritual with a marigold will help with longing and sadness for a living or dead person.
Conspiracies of this type are carried out on the waning moon.
As centuries-old practice has shown, it is at this time that rites of deliverance will be the most powerful.
The ritual is performed late in the evening or closer to midnight.
To perform the ritual, you need to find a hole in the wooden floor and put a freshly cut piece of nail into it.
It is believed that it will be possible to notice the effect of the ritual within the first two weeks.
While performing this action, the words of the prayer are read:
“Just as this nail will no longer grow to my finger, so melancholy will no longer take hold of my soul. Language, key, lock. Everything is forever. Amen!".
The plot is repeated three times. After the nail is lowered into the hole and the words of the prayer are said, you need to go to bed.
Ritual for relieving longing for a mistress from a husband
Early in the morning you need to go to the river, get out of it the tomfoil - a root that was brought by the current. At home, they put it in a glass of water and cast the following spell:
We repeat the ritual to relieve melancholy 13 times.
The contents of the cup are given to the spouse to drink.
You can remove a love spell from your husband by the following actions:
- On the date the man was born, the loved one is seated on a chair with his back to the entrance.
- A close relative or friend should open the Bible to any page and begin reading it aloud. At this moment, the wife breaks an egg into a bowl over her husband’s head.
- The contents of the plate are fed to the animal. The ritual is repeated 2 more times in the evening.
Further reading[edit]
- Tallis, Frank (2005). Love Sick: Love as a Mental Illness
. - Vaughn, Tricia (2013). “Love sickness is real, and the feeling it gives is very similar to using cocaine.”
- Bowers, Len (2000). The social nature of mental illness
. London: Routledge. ISBN 0415227771. - King, Helen (2008). "The Secret Wound: Love, Melancholy, and the Early Modern Novel (review)." Bulletin of the History of Medicine
.
82
(2):445–446. DOI: 10.1353/bhm.0.0009. S2CID 71371213.
Herbal spell for melancholy and sadness
This method is suitable for girls who cannot forget their lover, with whom they parted ways.
To perform this ritual, you need to sew a small bag with your own hands, into which you put a little bit of dried herbs of five types.
When sewing up the herbs, you need to say to this bag:
“Every day the steepness is getting further and further away from me. Amen!"
It is recommended to always carry such a craft with you, and when the sadness evaporates, you can leave the craft at home.