The feeling of melancholy does not leave. Where can I get the strength to live on?

My soul is dreary and chilly, as it happens in the fall in the slush. Like nature, frozen in anticipation of winter hibernation. Cold. Yearning. Loneliness. Hopelessness and emptiness. I don't want to live. Feeling of longing. It seems that all the good things in your life have already happened. And nothing further is expected. Only dull melancholy. Routine. The rustle of days going nowhere.

My soul feels like a stone slab, cold and heavy. I have no strength to carry this weight.

What to do when sadness hits? How to deal with apathy and despair?

System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan reveals how to get rid of melancholy, depression and depression.

Longing for a person: how to get rid of an oppressive feeling

A pinching feeling in the chest and a frantic state of emptiness in the soul, it torments and does not allow one to live normally. What is this? Yearning! Not just apathy, sadness or loneliness. This is longing for a person. It is HIM that is missing, the one who gave positive emotions, loved, was nearby, maybe was a lover or a loved one. But at some point he was gone. They broke up, or he passed away. And this uncomfortable and painful state remained in my soul - melancholy.

How to get rid of melancholy? Live a joyful and fulfilling life again? System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan helps answer these questions.

Causes and essence of melancholy

Melancholy arises from feelings of loneliness, abandonment, loss, misunderstanding, inability to talk, to share one’s views. Sometimes it seems that melancholy appears for no reason, we are “just sad,” but in fact at this moment we feel lonely, misunderstood, unaccepted, unloved, unfulfilled, unhappy, dissatisfied. We feel that we do not have something very desirable.

“I miss those times,” “I miss you,” we say. But in fact, we yearn for our comfort, peace of mind, and well-being. Probably, in those times and with that person, our best moments of understanding and happiness passed.

Feelings of sadness: why does it occur?

Unpleasant feelings and sensations that arise in the human psyche indicate a lack of something. In particular, melancholy is a feeling of emptiness after the cessation of positive emotions associated with a person or period of life. It could be longing for a loved one with whom you broke up, or it could be longing for a relative who has passed away, or it could just be longing for the past, for youth, for some period of life.

The main reason for melancholy is rooted in our psyche. Each of us wants to receive pleasure, enjoyment and pleasant moments in life; they fill the psyche from the inside, and therefore it is so acutely felt when these experiences are absent. It was as if a light was on - it was warm and joyful, then suddenly the light went out, and it became dark, lonely and gloomy - emotionally. This is roughly how this mental state is characterized - melancholy.

In other words, the emotion of longing arises when looking back into the past. Instead of living here and now, thinking about the present and the future, about tomorrow, a person constantly returns his thoughts to the past, remembering how good it was.

Returning all the time to the past in their memories is inherent in people with the anal vector. However, without special emotionality, a feeling of melancholy does not arise. That is, the leading for the appearance of a state of melancholy is the visual vector, which gives its owners a wide emotional amplitude - from extreme fear to unconditional and all-encompassing love.

Who feels sad?

People with anal-visual ligament vectors tend to experience a particularly painful feeling of melancholy. Moreover, this feeling sometimes comes suddenly, as soon as you see something familiar from the past (smell a familiar smell, see a familiar silhouette, etc.), and longing for a person, like an attack, covers you with a wave of memories. Positive moments are remembered with particular vividness, and emptiness and despair at the moment are perceived even more acutely: complete hopelessness seizes that the past cannot be returned. The pain is perceived as so enormous and insurmountable that it seems impossible to cope with it at all.

Longing for a person who is not nearby. How to relieve this pain?

It doesn't take much time to get rid of sadness. People often say that time heals and after a certain period of time the emotion of melancholy will weaken, the feeling of hopelessness will dull, and mental pain will be less noticeable. However, life goes on as usual, and constantly or periodically being in a state of melancholy, a person misses part of his life, which can be filled with bright moments and positive feelings. Longing for the past, a person loses the present.

Precious feeling

Longing, a person plunges into memories of how good it was together. But look at the situation from a different angle.

True love, all-consuming and filling the entire being, does not occur very often. Some people have never experienced such a strong feeling in their entire lives. And it happened in your life! Your heart experienced all that magnificent flurry of emotions, your soul gained invaluable experience. Don’t worry that wonderful days won’t happen again, but simply thank fate for them.

Gnawing melancholy: what to do? System tips

Summarizing all of the above, I would like to give a brief reminder to those who are overcome by a feeling of longing for a person:

• Determine your innate properties, because they are the ones that send you into the past, into your memories and make you feel a sense of longing.
• Find a new area for realizing your properties. People with an anal-optic ligament are naturally sensitive, capable of helping those who are weaker and more in need of love and care.

Understanding your own properties, as well as the properties that other people have, further realizing your abilities - all this helps to completely normalize your conditions, get rid of melancholy, stop grieving or missing a specific person.

This is confirmed by people who have completed the training:

“... The loss of my husband has stopped squeezing my heart, I’m breathing normally again. Instead of a nagging feeling of guilt and endless longing for him, I learned to feel a feeling of immeasurable gratitude for his love for us. At the same time, fears disappeared. Panic attacks and all the signs of post-traumatic syndrome that appeared after the loss of my husband began to subside ... "

You can start getting acquainted with System-Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan at a free online training. Register here.

Author Marina Voronova, psychologist Corrector Zifa Akhatova

The article was written using materials from online trainings on Systemic Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan Section: Answers to questions

Jul 4, 2021 Tags: I feel bad answers

Reasons why you might be bored

There are certain reasons why this feeling appears. By recognizing them, you can prevent the development of emotional dependence.

Photo by KoolShooters: Pexels

• You're used to him always being there. Especially if you live together;
• You are in love so much that you cannot be alone for a long period of time;
• You have become too dependent on your lover;
• You feel so good with your man that you simply cannot live without him.

These reasons can indicate not only love and deep feelings, but also obsession, which is quite capable of harming your relationship.

An energy message from another person. Feel

An energy message from another person. Feel

Is it possible to physically feel the impact of other people's thoughts and emotions (love, hatred, guilt, sexual desire, resentment, etc.)? And if so, how to decipher your own feelings in this case? Is there any decent literature on this topic?

I'll explain the reason for the question. I have been in a state of voluntary hermitage for almost a year now. Through various practices there was both enlightenment and catharsis on the physical and energetic level. Significant metamorphoses both in personal and ideological aspects.

When you leave society, some people want to communicate with you. If you don’t get in touch, I assume that they are thinking about you, in other words, some kind of energy is coming from them in your direction.

Consequences of melancholy

Melancholy generates fear and is physically and mentally exhausting. “Sick” and “sick” are the closest concepts to melancholy. We can be “sick” of the world, of ourselves. If a person feels sick, it means that he is doing something wrong in his life. There is nothing more terrible and destructive than rejection and self-loathing.

Although melancholy is similar to sadness, they are different concepts. Everyone feels sad, but sadness only strikes those who have not found or have lost themselves, their place in life. Next to longing there is always hope for a return to previous conditions, habits, emotions, people, ourselves. Melancholy is preceded by sadness, and after melancholy comes a feeling of hopelessness and depression. It is important to notice this in time and begin to solve internal problems. The phrase “don’t be sad”, of course, will not help, you need to act.

Messages [6]

1 Topic by me 09-12-2013 16:29:53

• me
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• Registered: 09-12-2013
• Messages: 1

Topic: sudden longing for a person is like a heart attack

Good day everyone, I apologize in advance, maybe my question is so stupid, I just don’t know who to turn to for help. this has been happening for 2 years, no matter where I am, with whom, at work, playing sports, traveling, in a good mood, full of plans and suddenly just wild melancholy to the point of tears, and the image of a person in my head and I can’t think about anything else, I just want to howl like a wolf. Let me explain, a man is in another country, very far away, we haven’t communicated for 2 years, on his initiative, he stopped communicating, I’m not obsessed, quite sane and adequate, not fixated on him, I’ve never even dreamed of him, and when such attacks pass and I come to my senses in some kind of awkward state, as if this happened while intoxicated and you think, how is this even possible. Could this be some kind of emotional connection? Please share if anyone has experienced something similar. Thank you)

Fight or accept?

First of all, analyze the situation. Is it really that bad? Why are you upset, why do you miss the person? Perhaps you are oppressed by a lack of attention? But is your loved one really indifferent to you? It happens that things can still be fixed.

If the relationship between the spouses has gone wrong, but the question of divorce has not even been raised yet, you should not draw premature conclusions. Perhaps you should stop being offended by little things and making scandals, and everything will work out on its own. If you can still fight for your love, by all means do it.

But when the relationship is over, trying to return everything can only irritate the object of your desire. It happens that you need to calmly accept the situation and learn to live on.

Do what you want

The best way to distract yourself from bad thoughts is to fill your life with many events and find a way to have fun. Now is the time to take bold actions and make your dreams come true. Let it be small whims - a new hairstyle, signing up for a massage course, going to the spa or cinema, a new tattoo. This will give you the opportunity to feel your freedom and begin to enjoy it, and small joys will gradually begin to crowd out the unpleasant consequences of the breakup.

Why do men leave their wives?

Look for joy in life

You need to start enjoying at least something. Buy something you've been wanting for a long time. Ask for a vacation from work and travel to other countries. Watch funny movies and read interesting books. Look for ways to distract yourself from reality. Try something new. Start developing new qualities in yourself, learn foreign languages, find new hobbies or interests. Overall, you should be busy doing things that bring you joy and pleasure.

Why a person can’t get out of his head: what’s the reason for this?

There is such an unrecognized science - esoterics. Explains the principles of interaction between the individual and the universe. Rules:

1. Every organism and inanimate object has its own field. Emits vibrations that are perceived by the surrounding space and the whole world at once.
2. Energy connections are formed between objects of interaction. The fields intertwine and overlap, influencing one another.
3. We do not know how to recognize all existing connections. But some penetrate to the level of consciousness. This is due to the need for personal development.

The simple scheme is confirmed by the practice of life. We feel loved ones, recognize friends not only by their face and voice, but also by their gait, gestures, and manners. This happens because there is a “trace” of the familiar in our aura. And we scan the unknown citizen to remember his energy. An underlying feeling immediately arises about his character: unpleasant, kind, sweet, boring.

If a loved, close, important object does not come out of your head, then it is strange to wonder about the reason. The feeling of attachment does not let go. You're bored, want to chat, get closer. You worry about his affairs, worry about the reaction to recent actions or words. Everything is completely normal.

Sometimes alternative situations arise that carry prophetic meaning.

What do constant thoughts about a loved one mean: folk signs

Persistent images of parents and children push us to action. Options:

1. You had a fight. Thoughts are filled with bitterness and resentment. It is urgent to clarify the misunderstanding and not delay the process.
2. Long time no see. Here the palette of prophecies is wider: Your loved one is also bored, and you intuitively read his feelings.
3. The person is now sad, upset, saddened. And you felt his sadness through the distance.
4. He is in serious trouble, an insoluble problem. Needs advice, but doesn't want to ask.
5. He is one step away from danger or deliberately taking risks. Something bad is coming. We need to get in touch to pull you away from the fatal line.

There are many sources of intrusive images. And there is only one conclusion: ask how the person stuck in the skull is doing. Talk, reassure or praise. Act according to the situation.

If a distant acquaintance is spinning in your mind: reasons

An individual who has crept into the brain is a reason to thoroughly analyze the current circumstances. There are several reasons for this “behavior”. And not everyone is pleasant.

Variations of what happens on the energy plane:

1. Hit an object. Now the citizen passionately desires revenge for the insult.
2. We crossed the road without realizing it. We wanted the best, but it didn’t quite work out according to plan. The individual harbors evil, plans bad things.
3. They caused fierce envy. The person suffers from the inability to surpass. And you unconsciously sense evil.

There are good omens:

1. Fell in love. It happens. Somewhere we accidentally collided and made an indelible impression.
2. He decides to make an offer. You don't have to ask for a date. Sometimes we sense financial or business initiative on the part of another person. Especially if the vacancy is now urgently needed.
3. He thinks about you. A common reason for the constant presence of another citizen in the cerebral convolutions. Thinks, reasons, ponders something that concerns you.

The situation when someone does not leave their head is always significant. Dumas cannot be formed just like that, without a reason.

A word from the experts

Psychologists are not guided only by guesses or theories; they undertake to prove everything through research. Therefore, there is more trust in their approach. Here is their list of reasons why sometimes you wake up and think about a person all day long:

• Love. The most common reason. Although sometimes a person himself is not aware of his feelings, and in this way, the subconscious mind tells him the right direction of thoughts.
• Trying to get distracted. When everything in life is not going well, the subconscious is looking for any positive reason to cling to some object. Various fantasies about the development of a relationship, mental selections of the text of a conversation or an outfit, all this allows the mind to take a break from a series of failures.
• Feeling unsaid. Replaying a recent argument in your head is common practice. Although whether a person who was recently an opponent feels these mental battles, psychologists cannot say.
• Loneliness. Obsessive thoughts about someone are nothing more than the desire to fill the emptiness with the first object that you even slightly like. Thoughts about your ex also prevent you from developing further.

You shouldn’t waste your precious internal energy and feed it to the wrong people. Even psychologists advise learning to manage your energy balance.

Start a renovation

Apartment renovation is a suitable alternative to a change of scenery when it is not possible to leave the city. In addition, this is an opportunity to completely immerse yourself in the process of interior renovation. The pleasant chores associated with buying wallpaper, thinking through the design and purchasing new furniture will help attract thoughts and get rid of feelings of melancholy and anxiety.

Change the scenery

Leaving the city for a while, flying to the sea or visiting a friend is something that will help you switch gears and get emotional release. A change of environment has a beneficial effect on emotional imbalance. New events and acquaintances, although not for long, will captivate you. This period should be regarded not as an escape from problems, but as an opportunity for the rehabilitation of the soul.

Why does a man come back after a breakup?

Folk signs

As Ilya Muromets said: “... people have noticed signs for centuries,” so you shouldn’t neglect them. So, a well-known sign that means that they are thinking about you is the “flashing” of the ears. Moreover, if only the right, then the thoughts are bad, and the left is the opposite. This also includes a sharp reddening of the cheeks without the assistance of external signs. But determining the feelings of another person by sneezing is no longer just a sign, but a whole fortune telling. So, a double sneeze symbolizes negative thoughts, a triple sneeze symbolizes love and strong feelings. It’s especially good if, after a sneeze, there is someone who says “Be healthy!”

Tearfulness and sudden itching of the eyes are also popularly called a sign. Moreover, if the problem is only with the left, then it is good news, with the right - vice versa. But the most important thing is that itchy eyes are a sign that soon you will see with your own eyes the object due to which you are currently seeing poorly. Bad thoughts addressed to oneself can also be judged by the state when it is impossible to swallow food. This includes simply a reluctance to eat, and even small pieces getting stuck across the throat. People say that someone is mentally holding you by the throat, expressing strong anger and even hatred.

From a metaphysical point of view

To experience the world around us, a person has 5 senses, and science has also provided devices that allow them to be enhanced. Anyone even remotely familiar with physics knows that perception captures only physical objects. Now let's go through physical logic: all organic and inorganic forms consist of chemical elements in different states (for example, water, steam, ice), in other words, matter. What is she? A crystallized form of energy. Which? This is what metaphysics is already thinking about, since scientists cannot physically take energy and put it in a test tube.

But the fact that there are a variety of types of energy in the Universe cannot be disputed even by an ardent skeptic. The presence of dark matter in space and its influence on the formation of the Universe has already been literally shown by the latest telescopes in the IR spectrum. So who is the source of all this bottomless energy - Nature, God, the Big Bang? In fact, every intelligent being projects a variety of currents into the world around them. One such information bundle is thought. The power of thought about another person is a clot of psychic energy containing certain information and even having a certain vibration frequency.

Unfortunately, it is not yet possible to prove exactly how projection occurs. In the 19th century, the German physiologist Büchner came up with the theory that the brain produces thought, just like the liver produces bile. But already at the end of that century and to this day, scientists in white coats claim that the mental cannot exist in the brain. No matter how the brain generates a thought, it does not linger there, but is projected into space and time. Very colorfully, this statement is depicted in the sensational film “The Secret” in 2001. Therefore, when a person produces a thought image or thought form, he sends it to the recipient in the form of an energy charge. And the sensations that arise when someone thinks about you are the invasion of a given charge into the energy field, giving rise to physical sensations.

How to understand that you are emotionally dependent

The loss of personal autonomy for any emotional reasons is emotional dependence on a person. At the same time you can feel:

• Suffering either from the inability to see the desired object, or from the fact that you cannot influence his behavior, or from the fact that the object has too much power over you;
• The impossibility of liberation from this dependence;
• Powerlessness because addiction already chronically affects behavior, general well-being, and decision-making.

How to make a man think about you?

People entering into a relationship, in any case, become dependent on each other. When one of the couple is sad or sad, the other may also become depressed. And what’s even worse is that he feels obligated to cheer up his lover.

But you don’t always want to have fun. Each person is individual, and emotional states may not always coincide at the same moment. And you don’t need to break yourself trying to synchronize.

For example, a girl who misses a guy constantly asks for attention, and she never gets enough. She writes him endless messages, imposes herself, tries to fill his whole life with herself.

And suddenly he leaves her.

Actually, not so “suddenly”. The young man was tired of constant pressure, suffocated from control and obsessive attention, did not understand how to behave so that the girl would have enough of everything.

And at the moment when talking no longer helped, he decides to live his own life. And the girl was left alone with her “I miss you,” which leads to even greater mental problems.

Who gets emotionally dependent more often?

• Problematic individuals.

These are those who have a lot of debts, conflicts, and unresolved issues.

• Occupying a socially dependent position.

Namely: children, subordinates, students, pupils.

• Dependent people.

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Those who wait and require control or guidance to action.

Periods of emotional dependence

People, as a rule, become dependent on something during difficult periods in life. The urgent need for support, consolation and sympathy binds primarily to other people.

Here are the main periods when you are most vulnerable:

• When you are sick;
• At turning points in life;
• When you are away from home;
• During periods of overload (for example, deadline);
• When moving to a new stage of life.

In moments of emotional vulnerability, a person needs an outlet. For example, a stormy holiday romance, which seemed very serious, is just a protective reaction of the psyche from being in an unfamiliar environment. That is why, after returning to the routine of life, you no longer experience those emotions so vividly.

So what should you do so as not to “strangle” your partner and not go crazy yourself?