What are complexes in humans and how to get rid of them

The meaning of the word Complex according to Ushakov’s dictionary:

COMPLEX , complex, m. (Latin complexus, lit. plexus). 1. A set, a combination of phenomena or properties. A complex set of social relationships. A complex of painful manifestations. Complex of representations. 2. (strike only complex). A teaching method that consists in the fact that primary education subjects are not taught separately from each other, but together, in a common connection (new pedagogy). 3. A set of sexual ideas that unconsciously manifest themselves in a person’s mental structure (Freudian term, med., psych.). complex .

How to stop feeling complex about your appearance

It is believed that it is much easier to cope with physical complexes than with psychological ones, since the roots of the cause lie on the surface and lie in self-esteem and the desire to compare oneself with others.

Believe me, even very attractive people have complexes about their appearance. If self-esteem is at zero, then the reflection in the mirror will never suit you. Hence the cases when girls go under the surgical knife several times in an attempt to achieve an ephemeral ideal, but every time it seems to them that something is wrong.

Glossy magazines, photoshopped photos on Instagram and advertising add fuel to the fire. It is important to understand that there is incredible money in the beauty industry. It is beneficial for such a business to make people feel that they are not beautiful enough and spend money on improving their appearance.

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Below are the recommendations that experts give to those who suffer from complexes about their appearance. They are relevant for people of any gender and age, including teenagers.

Tips to help you love yourself:

1. Don't compare yourself to others and set clear boundaries in your relationships with those who constantly compare you. Every person looks the way he should look in order to walk his life’s path in a way that is good for his soul. Everyone is unique in their own way. Imagine what would happen if all women looked exactly the same. By the way, now there is a joke among people about a plastic surgeon for the wives of rappers. If you compare the life partners of popular rap artists, you will understand what we are talking about.
2. Think about who and when imposed the idea on you that there was something wrong with your appearance. What was the motive of the person who criticized you, and is his remark actually true?
3. People don't love you for your looks. Yes, appearance attracts, but that’s not why people love you. Even glossy beauties with legs from the ears are cheated on by their spouses, abandoned and left them. They love for other qualities. Moreover, beauty is a very relative phenomenon. It is quite possible that someone else is crazy about your hooked nose, which you don’t like so much, and considers this facial feature extremely attractive.
4. Work on your self-esteem. We have collected the best tips in a separate publication on how to increase self-esteem.
5. Instead of self-criticism and “tuning” your photos, treat yourself to a spa session, a massage, go to the pool, visit a cosmetologist, go shopping, book a photo shoot.
6. If you have complexes about your body and because of this you cannot open up in bed, remember that your partner may also have doubts about his own appearance. In addition, during sex, people most often think about how they themselves look. And honest and frank conversations on the topic of intimate preferences will help you relax and trust.
7. Change! If the desire to change your appearance is not dictated by an obsession to be like your idol, but rather by necessity, take the solution to this issue into your own hands. Many of those who dream of a better figure are simply too lazy to engage in physical activity. Set yourself a goal and go towards it. At the same time, compare your progress with your past self, and not with other people's successes and achievements. As a last resort, you can decide on cosmetic procedures and surgery, but keep in mind that the result does not always live up to expectations.

Definition of the word “Complex” according to TSB:

Complex - Complex (from Latin complexus - connection, combination) a collection of objects, phenomena or properties that form one whole.

Complex (mathematical) is one of the basic concepts of combinatorial topology. For the purposes of this science, it is essential to consider geometric figures broken down into more elementary figures. The easiest way is to compose geometric figures from Simplexes, that is, in the case of 3-dimensional space, from points, segments, triangles and tetrahedrons. In accordance with this, they most often deal with simplicial complexes. A simplicial complex is a finite set of simplices located in some Euclidean (or Hilbert) space and having the following property: two simplices of this set either do not have a single common point, or the collection of all of them common points is the common face of both simplices. If a complex has a &gamma.-dimensional simplex and no simplexes of more dimensions, then the complex is called &gamma.-dimensional. This simplest concept has undergone many generalizations going in different directions: along with the just defined finite complexes, countable complexes can be defined. Then you can move from simplicial complexes to similarly defined cellular complexes, the elements of which are certainly simplexes, and any convex ones Polyhedra or even any figures are homeomorphic to them. in the latter case, they speak of “curvilinear” complexes. Usually, only complexes are considered that satisfy the following closedness condition: every face of a simplex included in a given complex is also included in this complex. A set that can be represented as a (set-theoretic) sum simplices forming an n-dimensional complex is called an n-dimensional polyhedron. Lit.: Aleksandrov P. S., Combinatorial topology, M., - Leningrad, 1947. Pontryagin L. S., Fundamentals of combinatorial topology, M. - Leningrad, 1947.

Complex - in psychology, in the most general sense, a certain combination of individual mental processes into a whole. In a narrower sense, K. is understood as a group of heterogeneous mental elements connected by a single affect. The concept of K. in this sense has become one of the main ones in various areas of depth psychology. According to the Psychoanalysis of Z. Freud (Austria), K. are formed around drives that have been repressed into the sphere of the unconscious (for example, the so-called Oedipus K., which arises as a result of the repression of hostile impulses towards the father in early childhood). K. cause deviations in human behavior, manifesting themselves in the form of erroneous actions, neuroses, obsessive ideas, etc. In the individual psychology of A. Adler (Austria), an exceptional role is assigned to the so-called inferiority complex - the individual’s perception of his organic or mental deficiencies. Overcoming this problem through compensation is considered by Adler as the main factor in a person’s mental development, the formation of his character and behavior. D. N. Lyalikov.

What are complexes in humans in simple words?

Obsessive thoughts, which are based on dissatisfaction with oneself, are something that each of us faces in one way or another. In modern psychology, it is customary to label people who are characterized by them as “complexed.” What does this concept include, and why does it have a negative, even repulsive character in society?

If you are familiar with thoughts regarding dissatisfaction with your own appearance or any other qualities of your personality, then you know firsthand that it is more difficult for a person with complexes to lead an active social life. Why is this happening?

People who see shortcomings in themselves, often fictitious, are considered to be complex, and perceive them painfully. Someone is dissatisfied with their own figure, someone does not like naturally curly hair, an abundance of freckles, or the shape or size of a certain part of the body.

Naturally, a person with complexes lacks self-confidence, and with it, authority in the eyes of other people. After all, respect and favor from the outside begin with self-love - with a feeling that fills a person from the inside. People with complexes are characterized by low self-esteem and a certain timidity (they themselves avoid society and are afraid to be seen).

Useful materials

I suggest you pay attention to books about the manifestation of complexes and ways to eliminate them:

• Daniel Reinemer “Complexes – so what? How can we recognize them and live with them?”
• Arianna Huffington “How to get rid of inhibitions in love, work and life”
• Wayne Dyer "How to get rid of the victim complex"
• Anna Shekhova “Cinderella Syndrome. How to get rid of the good girl complex”
• Hans-Joachim Maatz “The Lilith Complex. The dark side of motherhood"

A course from Vikium Brain Detoxification will help you get rid of complexes, toxic thoughts and love yourself. It consists of 10 lessons, includes practical tasks, exercises, video and audio materials, as well as recommendations for independent work. With a discount, the program now costs only 990 rubles.

Vikium also has a course on Critical Thinking. These are 9 classes and 2 simulators. You will learn from them:

• do not be influenced by the media and advertising;
• achieve your own, not imposed goals;
• wisely manage your most valuable resource – time.

I also recommend reading posts on our blog:

• How to become self-confident - an article for women;
• How to become self-confident - for men.

How to cope with psychological complexes

Getting rid of internal complexes is not so easy, because the sources of their appearance can go deep into childhood and take root for years.

Let's find out what you can do on your own.

Find the reason

A psychological complex is a set of suppressed fears, worries and other negative emotions that a person could not cope with on his own or did not receive timely support. Remember who became the source of your complex: mom, dad, sister, neighbor, classmate, bus conductor, store clerk.

In most cases, you will find that the original source comes from childhood. The child, due to his emotional immaturity, is very sensitive to other people’s reactions and cannot separate constructive criticism from groundless nagging. He takes any words in his direction as truth. “If they say I’m bad, that’s how it is!” - the child thinks.

Assault and emotional violence in the family can have serious consequences for the child’s psyche and have a negative impact on his adult life. A person brought up in such an environment will devalue himself in every possible way and try to earn the attention and love of others to the detriment of his own desires and interests.

Realize your worth

There are no useless people. Each one is needed for something and fulfills some unique role. You are already valuable by default, because you were born and live in this world. Your sense of self-worth should not depend on external successes and other people's opinions of you.

Feel the difference between self-esteem and self-worth. The first concept is related to self-evaluation, and the second is based on unconditional acceptance, regardless of conditions.

There are no perfect people. Even top Hollywood stars and dollar billionaires have complexes, fears and internal blocks. Allow yourself to be imperfect, make mistakes, say “no,” choose yourself and your interests, build personal boundaries and respect the boundaries of other people.

Interesting! Do you know that the tall and strong guardsmen under Napoleon Bonaparte never received promotions? It was all about the commander's complex about short stature.

I recommend reading our article on how to stop depending on other people’s opinions.

Find sources of inspiration

The advice about finding your hobby sounds very primitive and hackneyed, but it really works. Write down on a piece of paper everything that brings you sincere pleasure. It doesn’t matter at all whether these activities are fashionable or only appeal to you. What you love will become a source of joy, and achieving success in it will help strengthen self-respect.

Find a role model. This should be someone whose mindset you would like to aspire to. Subscribe to his blogs and be inspired to make your own changes.

Reconsider the environment

If you are around people who constantly make you make excuses, fight for your interests, feel humiliated, vulnerable, consider setting clear boundaries. State how it is possible with you and how it is not possible. Otherwise, you will have to minimize communication or completely sever ties. Even regardless of who this person is to you.

Be with those who motivate you for overall development, with whom you feel good and there is no need to defend yourself.

Build new neural connections

Our brain does not distinguish real events from those that we can imagine. Joe Dispenza, an American lecturer and researcher in the field of neurophysiology, talks about this process in detail in his bestselling books. You can weaken the old neural connections responsible for the complexes and build new ones that will symbolize your calm attitude towards the subject of concern.

For example, you are embarrassed by your “imperfect” body. As soon as you think about it, compare yourself to Instagram skinny people, worry, you strengthen the corresponding neural connection. It becomes more and more significant and has more and more influence on you.

Change the direction of your thinking. Imagine how calmly you walk along the beach in a swimsuit, without experiencing a shadow of embarrassment, as representatives of the opposite sex look at you with interest and admiration. The more often you start thinking about your body positively, the faster a new neural connection will be built and the old one will be forgotten.

By the way, the beach is a great place to get rid of the complex about your shape. Please note that people of all sizes rest there and most of them feel great.

This technique with neural connections can be applied to any psychological complex. Imagine how you confidently communicate in public, enjoy communication, feel significant in society, etc.

Change your lifestyle

Living life in despondency, feeling sorry for yourself and drowning in complexes, does not require much effort. But taking responsibility for your happiness and development is another matter. Move more, walk in the fresh air, read interesting books, sign up for courses, workouts, watch your diet, get enough sleep.

No one will make your life interesting, comfortable and joyful for you. It all starts with our inner mood and state.

But for motivation, here is an article in which we tell you how to start life from scratch.