How to get rid of an obsessive person: 10 effective methods

Nobody likes friends who constantly push themselves. This may be flattering to some at first, but over time, even the person with the lowest self-esteem in the universe will tire of a clingy, intrusive friend.

But what’s even more unpleasant is being obsessive yourself. On the one hand, you can’t help it - you need her/his attention and approval. On the other hand, you subconsciously know that sooner or later your boyfriend or girlfriend will get tired of your behavior, and she will begin to ignore you, and potentially break up with you altogether. You may not even know why, although you will guess...

If you now notice obsessive behavior, it makes sense to stop it as soon as possible in order to avoid discord in the relationship.

And so, to help you, I wrote an article in which I list three ways to stop imposing on a friend or friend. I have arranged them in order from easiest to most difficult.

The first way is to control the frequency of contact with your friend. Requires willpower, but is effective in stopping obsessive behavior.

The second way is to intentionally communicate with more people. By expanding your social circle, you automatically reduce your susceptibility to imposing on anyone in that circle. Effective for suppressing emotional dependence, but suitable only for those who are not bothered by communication with new or less close people.

The third way is to subconsciously work through emotional dependence on a friend. The main advantage of this method is the direct solution to the problem, and not attempts to manage this problem. This method is effective for those who prioritize a radical reduction in the degree of mental masturbation, and who are ready to work on themselves for this. The method is not easy, but in the long term it gives a person many psychological bonuses.

The article turned out to be very long, so while still in the process of writing, I decided to break it into three parts. In this part, I will dwell in more detail on the first method, revealing its pros and cons. In the other two parts we will talk about the rest.

So, the first and probably the easiest way to stop imposing on your friend is self-control.

How do obsessive people behave?

These “stuck” ones are really very easy to identify. Obsessive people extremely love to attract all the attention of the audience and society to themselves. And most often they do this by inserting themselves into the conversation, increasing intonation during conversation, and shifting the topic of conversation to their person. If we’re not talking about a conversation with an obsessive person, but about his presence in your life, then everything is completely neglected here! Intrusive people like to come when they were not invited, and the most interesting thing is that it is very difficult to send them out the door, since they absolutely do not understand hints, and even if you tell them directly that you are tired of their company, they can easily stay on as a guest .

As for the intrusiveness of a young man or girlfriend, their behavior includes excessively frequent calls, long meaningless conversations, unexpected visits that last until late, obsessiveness in advice and tastes, excessive presence in personal space.

You need to find a special approach to this type of person in order to clearly convey to him about his excessive presence and intrusive behavior, since obsessive people understand hints very poorly.

Realize the need itself

Why did you decide to break off this relationship? Awareness of the reasons will not allow you to succumb to momentary weakness when remembering the good moments of your relationship and will give you strength to build new boundaries. Do you feel like you are being used? That you stop being yourself or change for the worse? That you just feel sorry for the time and emotions for this communication? Take at least a short break , allow yourself to be away from this person and find answers to the questions posed.

Do not give in to emotions and provocations: it is useful to think carefully about ending communication with a “cool head”

In order for this difficult process to go smoothly, determination is required. Any hesitation or attempts to revive communication introduce unnecessary drama. Remember: if you feel bad in this communication, you have the right to end it unilaterally . In many situations, it will be healthier and calmer for both to explain themselves without leaving any unanswered points, but for this you need to have a remarkable sense of tact, true diplomacy and politeness.

Parting gracefully without leaving any grudges is a special skill

How to tactfully hint to a person about his obsession?

First, you need to subtly hint in a conversation that the interlocutor is crossing certain boundaries and becoming obsessive in his interests and views on the world. This can be done this way:

• You can smoothly change the topic of conversation and do this every time the intrusive interlocutor begins to manifest himself.
• Turn your attention to something interesting that is in your field of vision and try to have a conversation about it or switch the conversation to some general topic where there is no opportunity to express a personal opinion or advice.

If during a conversation it is not possible to verbally hint at the interlocutor’s intrusiveness, then you can take measures to tactfully make it clear that the person is intrusive.

You shouldn’t immediately behave like a boor and say that the person is tired or tired of you with his long presence.

You can first try the following methods:

• Immediately indicate the time of your or his departure (for example, “I have a sleep schedule at 9, since I get up very early,” or “I have a meeting scheduled for 9, so we will leave an hour before it so that I have time to prepare” ). Some time before leaving, you need to remind that you will soon have to leave. You can resort to the trick of ringing a mobile phone and saying that you urgently need to leave.
• There should always be a supply of polite excuses available in case you need to “allegedly” suddenly leave on business.
• You can resort to a trick when another person approaches and, with slight amusement, under the pretext that help is urgently needed or a meeting has been scheduled, takes the obsessive person away from the company. True, it doesn’t always work out this way.
• If the hint about his intrusiveness does not reach the person, tell him politely and apologetically (“I’m sorry, but I need to leave, we were chatting, but it’s time...”).

How to tactfully hint to a young man that he is obsessive?

Some young people in relationships go too far with their frequent presence in their partner’s personal space. And such a moment should also not be missed or tolerated, because this can later affect the relationship and lead to its destruction.

The party that is bothered by the intrusiveness of the other half in some aspects (violation of personal space, frequent calls, SMS and control, imposition of one’s tastes and behavior) needs to, in a calm atmosphere and in a calm tone, start a conversation from afar about tastes and desires and reduce it to the fact that Everyone should have their own personal space, trust and some free time, but excessive presence and control are disturbing and alarming.

If the other half did not draw the necessary conclusions from this conversation, then you can start a similar repeated conversation and play it out so that the obsessive young man or girl takes the place of the one who is being bothered by this obsession (switch roles). In any case, calm conversations indicating that obsession is interfering with showing exactly how will help to correct something in the behavior of the annoying person.

Minimum conflicts

You made a decision: yes, this communication takes up your time/finance/internal resources, and therefore you simply don’t need it. Naturally, you cannot present your thoughts to another person in this form - it will be painful, it will be offensive, such straightforwardness borders on arrogance and arrogance. How to properly end communication without unnecessary drama ?

1. Build new boundaries in relationships, do not allow them to be broken by gradually increasing the distance.
2. Conversations “for life” are now a thing of the past. Be careful not to give a person random hope by allowing him to pour out his soul to you once again over a cup of coffee.
3. If there is a serious reason for the breakup (a friend set you up, a guy cheated on you, a friend gossiped ugly, etc.), it is recommended to speak openly about it. If a person really has a “snout in the cannon”, he will draw conclusions and disappear from your life. If the situation through the eyes of another is seen completely differently, listen to his arguments. Perhaps you missed something, and the relationship is not so hopeless yet.
4. If you seriously intend to dot the i's, do without direct accusations - this may cause counter-aggression and a constructive dialogue will not work. Try to talk more about your emotions (“I’m upset,” “I don’t understand,” “this really upset me”) rather than about the actions of your opponent.

Any final conversation, if one is planned, should take place on neutral territory that does not evoke any associations with previous communication for both. The dialogue should be as restrained and polite as possible, not touching on personal topics. Simply avoiding a person is often not an option at all: there are many questions left, unsaid things, and second-guessing and second-guessing is unlikely to be in your favor.

The end of any communication is rarely painless for both

How to tactfully get rid of an obsessive girlfriend?

If you have an obsessive friend in your social circle, then the situation is not easy. Usually, such girls have difficulty understanding hints of their obsession and it is difficult to convey this to them. But there are still effective methods!

• Switch your attention to another person who may be interested in your obsessive friend.
• Start introducing yourself as intrusively as she does, while choosing precisely those moments when she is absolutely uncomfortable and has no time to host you or stand and chat. After several times of this behavior, she will begin to avoid your company, thereby getting rid of her obsession, without even suspecting it.
• In conversations where an intrusive friend is overly actively trying to intrude into her personal life with her questions and advice, you need to ignore or avoid an answer or question a couple of times. By appearing like a “deaf fool,” you can make it clear that you do not want to answer questions or tell such personal things.
• If the hints are not understood, start questioning and advising as actively as she does. Call and write and ask all the time about moments that she would not like to talk about (but for this you need to observe and study her a little in order to identify topics that are not very pleasant for her).
• It’s calm and straightforward to say that a friend is prying too much into her personal life (but this is an extreme case, when a person’s obsessive behavior goes beyond all limits of patience, as it can lead to resentment and quarrel).

Why is it dangerous to become attached to a man?

Attachment is a manifestation of selfishness. When it arises, a woman begins to constantly make demands and be jealous. She is afraid that she will be abandoned, she tries to do everything for the sake of her partner in order to earn praise. She ceases to identify herself as a person and tends to idealize the person. You can not do it this way. In many ways, a painful attachment to another is similar to addiction. Therefore, we begin to behave inappropriately, and when our partner is not around, we experience withdrawal symptoms.

Men don’t like it when a girl becomes their shadow, while controlling and worrying too much. Therefore, relationships where one partner is attached to the other are doomed to failure. As a result, you will get a difficult breakup, self-dislike and self-esteem below par.

You need to understand that this phenomenon is dangerous, unhealthy and wrong. If you notice signs of attachment in yourself, start working on yourself.

How to get rid of very intrusive people

There are also such “instances”. In cases where there are very obsessive people in society and their behavior affects health and the nervous system, you need to get rid of them abruptly and completely. Just stop all communication with them, avoid their company. After all, people who are too intrusive do not understand either hints or direct words; only a drastic action will reach them, namely the termination of the relationship.

What to do if you can’t gently break off a relationship with a very obsessive person?

If the above methods were not understood by the person, then you need to start ignoring him, not answering phone calls and SMS, not opening the door to the house, or directly saying that you are tired, bored or in a hurry.

You can get rid of an overly intrusive person more quickly only by saying sharply and directly that his communication is tiring and he is being intrusive. They cannot understand any other approach, because they are too intrusive, so they need to be removed from your society.

Bottom line

How to get rid of obsessive people?

1. If a person is not very intrusive, this can be done with the help of a hint in a conversation about his behavior.
2. If a person does not understand the hint, start behaving like him (calling and coming without an invitation and staying at a party for a long time, boring you with your conversation, even if the interlocutor cannot and does not want to start a conversation). As they say, wedge with wedge!
3. With a very intrusive person, all of the above methods are powerless, so you need to get rid of such people sharply and completely (not answer the phone, don’t open the door, or directly say that his company is tiring).

Useful tips

More effective options will be where you and an annoying, intrusive friend change places and pester him the same way he pesters you. Then the obsessive person takes the place of the one he is annoying, and gradually begins to understand that his behavior is obsessive.

Before you start abruptly getting rid of the company of such a person, you first need to study him a little, so as not to offend him too much, but at the same time make it clear that he is tired of you and has already driven you to extreme measures!

But, unfortunately, there are obsessive people who don’t understand this either. Such people need to be told the “truth” straight to their faces. But first make sure that this does not harm your or his health! After all, it may be that an obsessive person who has been told directly about his excessive importunity becomes offended, and, since he is morally weak, he begins to harm himself or, conversely, gets angry and pesters the offender even more!

Well, it’s even better, as soon as it becomes clear that a person is annoying, immediately distance him from your person, even in the early stages of communication!

Method 1. Control the frequency of contact.

Difficulty level:

Very easy.

Pros:

• Takes minimal time.
• Effective.
• Suitable for everyone.

Minuses:

• Superficial, does not solve the fundamental problem of emotional dependence.
• Potential danger of attacks of mental masturbation due to withdrawal symptoms.
• “Unnatural.”

Time costs:

From 5 seconds to 3 minutes.

***

This method can be safely recommended to anyone who is inclined to impose themselves on their friends. It does not require any effort, while being very effective in terms of managing relationships with a friend or girlfriend.