The comfort zone is the usual living conditions of a person, an established pace and way of life, and stereotypes of behavior developed by the individual. By the way, this zone can be very uncomfortable or dangerous (fights, addictions, laziness, conflicts, a tyrant husband, poverty), but for a person this is exactly what is familiar. But a calm and successful life is something unknown, frightening, outside his comfort zone. It is very difficult to leave the familiar zone, no matter how uncomfortable it actually may be for the individual. But it is possible and necessary.
Definition
In psychology, a comfort zone is understood as a person’s habitual way of life, which is adjusted almost to the point of automaticity and excludes any serious changes. This includes lifestyle, developed behavioral stereotypes, and the conditions in which a person lives. This is something to which a person is already accustomed, with which he is well acquainted. That same “stability” beloved by our politicians, in whose embrace it is calm and comfortable.
Although it is not always calm and comfortable in the comfort zone. For some, for example, it’s common to drink until you pass out and then suffer from a hangover the next day. Comfortable? Hardly.
A person needs a comfort zone to feel safe, replenish resources, and gain strength for new achievements. This is precisely the function assigned to it by evolution.
Imagine a primitive man who spent most of his life hunting wild animals. He lived in a cave among his fellow tribesmen. This was his comfort zone.
Outside the cave was a cruel, hostile world to which he had to go every day. He simply needed a comfort zone so as not to go crazy from stress.
What do we have now? A person lives in a safe world, where everything is at his service. He does not need to risk his life every day to get food for himself. We adapted to constant comfort and began to consider it the norm.
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But along with this adaptation, sensitivity to stress also increased. A person tries to avoid it by any means in the hope of protecting his nervous system, but the effect is the opposite. Because feasible stress is a necessary condition for normal existence and development.
Maslow's pyramid
Psychologists are skeptical about Maslow. Or rather, not like that. His pyramid makes me laugh, but everyone has their own reason to laugh.
Before we can understand these reasons, we need to understand the pyramid. Maslow believes that:
At the base of the pyramid are vital needs related to physiological and mental health. They are what make a person alive:
- satisfaction of hunger;
- thirst satisfaction;
- safety satisfaction;
- presence of sexual desire;
- confidence, lack of fear.
If the lower needs are satisfied to some extent, then we can think about the highest point of the pyramid. For example, learn how to make jugs from clay and sell them, learn Latin and read medical treatises in the original.
Pros and cons of the comfort zone
This state has both its pros and cons. Let's look at them. Let's start with the pros, since there aren't many of them.
Pros:
- The comfort zone gives us a feeling of safety and security. This is a kind of fortress where you can hide from all the hardships of the world around you.
- It gives us insight into ourselves. Everything inside this zone is ours by right. Our habits, our way of life, our way of life, our daily activities. You need to love all this well, but not get hung up on it, but constantly strive to supplement it with something new.
And now the cons:
- Constantly staying in the comfort zone reduces a person’s adaptation to stress. Try to sit for a month or two without leaving your comfort zone. After this, even things that have never previously caused anxiety or fear will start to scare you.
- The comfort zone is constantly narrowing. From the point of view of primitive man, about whom we have already spoken, our entire world would be a huge comfort zone. But it doesn’t seem so safe to us. The same thing happens with a specific individual who stops exposing his nervous system to stress, and his comfort zone narrows.
- There is no development inside the comfort zone. Only degradation. Everything there is already familiar, explored, automated. And for development, a person needs new stimuli, new neural connections, new support points.
- The feeling of security is quite fragile. As long as everything goes according to plan and does not go beyond the usual framework, a person feels protected. But as soon as even one element strays from the general structure, not a trace remains of the illusion of security.
- Staying in your comfort zone lowers your self-esteem. Moreover, it decreases in proportion to the decrease in your real achievements. That is, self-esteem remains adequate, you just have fewer reasons to respect yourself. This is very sad and painful, try not to let it get to that point. And if you’ve already done it, take a look at our article on how to increase self-esteem.
- There is no happiness in the comfort zone. People in vain believe that they can rid themselves of strong negative experiences, but at the same time maintain the severity of positive experiences. The brain rewards us with a feeling of pleasure, happiness, and euphoria for overcoming difficulties that do not exist in the comfort zone. Therefore, constant stay there certainly leads to apathy.
- In the most advanced cases, a person may even develop depression. It is manifested by a decrease in emotional background, loss of strength, loss of motivation for everything, absent-mindedness, and decreased performance.
- Sooner or later you will still have to leave your comfort zone. If a person does not do this on his own, circumstances will do it for him. The stress in this case will be so strong that it will be very difficult to recover from it.
To finally make sure that there is very little comfort in the comfort zone, watch this short video.
Brian Tracy
The name of Brian Tracy is widely known in psychology. He is considered a global expert on success. He developed his own system for achieving it, and did this at the age of twenty-five. Since then, Tracy has written many books on psychology. He continues to work today, conducting trainings and consultations.
What else is Brian Tracy famous for? Comfort zone is one of the themes he has been working on. His book “Get Out of Your Comfort Zone” is entirely devoted to this topic. In it, he talks about twenty-one ways to increase personal effectiveness. Of course, his works deserve attention.
How to understand that you are stuck in your comfort zone: 8 signs
Obviously, the disadvantages of being in the comfort zone are much greater than the advantages. But often a person simply does not realize that he is stuck in it, like in a swamp. After all, the word “comfort” is associated with something pleasant and positive.
But it is very rarely truly pleasant and joyful. The most accurate epithets characterizing being in the comfort zone are “rotten” and “boring.” It turns out to be such a trap due to confusion in concepts.
A person sits in his personal psychological swamp, reads about the comfort zone and thinks that this is not about him at all. Therefore, we should clearly understand that in the comfort zone we are not so much comfortable as we are familiar.
So that you don’t confuse this bad place with anything, let’s look at the typical signs of being in it.
1. Boredom
It's always boring in your comfort zone. Because there is no incentive for development, no goals, no aspirations. All the usual activities are already painfully familiar and do not evoke any emotions.
Procrastination and laziness
In the comfort zone, a person relaxes. There is no stress in it that forces you to mobilize your strength and move forward. Personal motivation also sleeps soundly. Therefore, a person allows himself to be lazy, put things off until later and degrade.
Craving for useless activities
In order to somehow relieve boredom and fill the emptiness, a person wastes time on useless activities. Watches entertainment shows and TV series, surfs the Internet, plays games on the phone. Meanwhile, life passes by.
Fear of change
Any changes terrify a person who is accustomed to being in a comfort zone. Even if these are positive changes on all sides that are designed to make life easier and better.
For example, a person has been paying utilities at the post office for many years. He had to spend an hour on the road, wait in huge queues and pay a transfer fee. And then they introduced an electronic payment system, with which you can pay bills in a few seconds right from home. But our hero continues to use the method familiar to him, because the new one is unfamiliar and incomprehensible to him.
Lack of desires and motivation
To stay in your comfort zone for a long time, you need to get rid of all strong desires. A person has to block and devalue them. Most often, of course, this is self-deception, because the desires themselves do not disappear, but simply cease to be realized.
Slow degradation
In the comfort zone there is a slow descent down. As a rule, a person does not even notice it. For example, you used to speak in public without any problems. Of course, it was not entirely without stress. Your knees were shaking, your palms were sweating, but you dealt with it successfully.
And then we decided to sit in our comfort zone for a while to take a break from our worries. So, a few months later, when you decide to speak in front of an audience again, you will be surprised to find that the stress has become much stronger. You may not even be able to pull yourself together and the performance will fail miserably, and you will rush to return to your cozy, cramped little world.
This happens with absolutely all resources. In your comfort zone, you lose what was once rightfully yours: skills and abilities, knowledge, positive qualities.
Dissatisfaction with your life
Even if an individual does not experience any deprivation, lives in satiety and complete comfort, he will still be dissatisfied with his life. Because every person has a need for self-actualization, the satisfaction of which is impossible without leaving the comfort zone. Look at A. Maslow's famous pyramid of needs.
The need for security is at the very bottom of the pyramid. This is where a person who does not want to get out of his comfort zone gets stuck. And a happy, fulfilling life begins much higher. Therefore, a person has to constantly fight with his nature, suppress unconscious impulses, muffle the voice of his own heart.
Such internal conflict is exhausting and draining. A person turns into a bundle of negative emotions, including anger, envy, despair, fear.
Background alarm
On a subconscious level, a person feels that he is living incorrectly. But he tries with all his might to drown out the echoes of common sense. Nevertheless, they break through the wall of psychological defenses in the form of vague, inexplicable anxiety.
Not all stress is good
A person can only withstand a certain level of stress. Constantly being outside your comfort zone means condemning yourself to emotional burnout. You will simply give up emotions and desires in principle. In the severe stage of burnout, people lie on their beds and do not leave the house.
Stress needs to be dosed and removed in time. For this reason, you should not overload yourself at work, disrupt your sleep patterns, or work at night or on weekends.
I once worked all day long, but then I realized that it was ineffective. Therefore, in the morning I always make a realistic plan for the day and simply follow it. Here is a simple Excel program that helps me. Result: I began to accomplish more and get less tired.
It is also important to measure volumetric tasks and plans. For example, you should not conduct two large projects in parallel, take out a mortgage without a down payment and a car loan and the like.
How to get out of your comfort zone: advice from psychologists
Well, did I manage to convince you of the need to leave your comfort zone from time to time? Now I will tell you how to do it less painfully and more productively.
Stop being afraid of stress
Even the most delicate flower is not afraid of rain and wind. Stop protecting yourself from the slightest shocks. By doing this you are digging a hole for yourself.
Without experiencing moderate stress, a person becomes weak. Just as muscles atrophy without physical activity, so the personality degrades without mental stress. When you can understand and accept this simple thought, move on to the next step.
Give yourself regular psychological boosts
Now our goal is to move from awareness to action. At this stage, you will have to artificially generate factors that cause stress. This way you can regulate the intensity of the impact and gradually adapt to mental stress.
You can start with microscopic doses. Think about what might cause you a little stress. One that will make your heart race and your palms sweat, but which you can easily overcome.
Maybe you are afraid to talk to a stranger? Or park in reverse? It's time to overcome these fears.
Gradually increase the degree of stress. This will expand your comfort zone and increase your confidence.
Set goals
Only the anticipation of the upcoming reward can outweigh the unpleasant emotions that accompany leaving your comfort zone. You must clearly understand why you started all this fuss.
Therefore, you should seriously think about how you would like to change your life in the near future. I suggest doing the opposite: make a list of everything that doesn’t suit you in the present. And then transform each point into a specific goal. To do this, use our articles, in which we tell you how to set goals correctly and explain the essence of SMART goal setting.
Look for motivation
A person who has stayed too long in his comfort zone lacks any motivation. He feels dull, bored and unpleasant, but not enough to endure stress and disruption of his usual way of life. It is useless to sit and wait for motivation to appear on its own. Most likely this won't happen.
There are several clever ways to make yourself want to change yourself and change your daily reality:
- Connect with passionate, goal-oriented, ambitious people who are not afraid to try new things.
- Read motivational books. Just remember that the effect after reading does not last long, so immediately put the received advance motivation into action.
- Create a wish map. It will help you understand what you really want, set specific goals and get a starting supply of motivation.
- Be inspired by great people. Read more often the success stories of famous actors, musicians, writers, scientists. All these stories will tell you about leaving your comfort zone.
Try something new
By the way, new activities do not necessarily have to be associated with stress. Try not only what you are afraid to do, but also what is simply unfamiliar and incomprehensible. This is also a way out of your comfort zone, albeit a small one.
Think about something you really wanted to try, but kept putting off. Maybe take a cooking class? Or learn programming in Java? Today there is an opportunity to learn new things right from home. It would be a sin not to use it!
Get rid of harmful attitudes
We often get stuck in our comfort zone due to false attitudes, limiting beliefs, and destructive views on life. They, like stones around our necks, do not allow us to straighten our backs, perk up our spirits and move towards a fulfilling life.
Most of these garbage structures have their roots in childhood. We may not even be aware of them. Read and remember the following statements so that you never apply them to yourself:
- The world around us is dangerous and hostile.
- There are more bad people in the world than good people, so you need to be on your guard all the time.
- You can't trust anyone, not even yourself.
- There is nothing more beautiful in the world than stability.
- Nothing depends on me anyway. So, you don’t have to stress.
Change your image
This is perhaps the easiest way to get out of your comfort zone. Another thing is that deciding on it can be difficult.
Think about what you could change about yourself. You can change your hair color, haircut, clothing style, eyebrow shape. Men can change the shape of their beard, get a tattoo, etc. The more dramatic the changes, the better the effect.
Once you change your image, people will begin to perceive you differently. You will have to adapt to a new way of looking at yourself, and this is also a kind of stress.
Stop making excuses
Most often, people who have stayed too long in their comfort zone understand deep down that something needs to change. But for every such impulse, the cunning brain comes up with a hundred excuses why this shouldn’t be done.
For example, he may tell you that you will still not succeed, no matter how hard you try. Why then strain and make unnecessary body movements? Or he will begin to look for objective factors that hinder positive changes: bad government, childhood traumas, stupid boss, etc.
To change your life for the better, you need, firstly, to take responsibility for it, and secondly, you need to believe in your strength. And don’t listen to the treacherous voice pulling you down. This is not the voice of common sense, but the voice of your laziness and inertia.
Fight laziness
In the comfort zone, laziness, as a rule, blooms in full bloom and seriously aggravates the problem. Start by eliminating this bad habit. Don't let yourself lie idle when you have enough energy to do something useful. Our article on how to overcome laziness will help you with this.
Think about others
Man is a thoroughly social creature. Community and unity are the main factors that ensure the survival and prosperity of the species, therefore the desire for them is fixed by evolution at the physiological level. What we do for other people and for the benefit of society as a whole is rewarded several times more generously than what we do for selfish reasons.
Let me explain what kind of reward we are talking about. Every person has a built-in biochemical reward structure. For actions that are correct from an evolutionary point of view, the brain rewards us with a portion of pleasure hormones: endorphins, serotonin, dopamine. Subjectively, this is felt by an increase in energy, good mood, a feeling of happiness and satisfaction.
So, caring about other people is one of the most encouraged actions. It is not for nothing that psychologists advise, in moments of despair and hopelessness, to take care of seriously ill people and the elderly or engage in other social work.
How will this help us get out of our comfort zone? Every time you encounter severe stress when changing your usual routine, think that you are doing this primarily not for yourself, but for your loved ones. For example, you change your job to a more complex and better-paid one in order to provide your children with a decent future. This will make it much easier for you, and a positive result will not take long to arrive.
Take a look also at our article about what the meaning of life is.
What gives you a way out of your usual atmosphere?
Once outside the comfort zone, the individual enters the risk zone.
At first glance, it seems illogical to want to voluntarily disrupt the usual way of life. However, without this, further personal growth is impossible. Psychologists say that this is the only way of development.
Fixation in one specific state interferes with solving life situations. You seem to be postponing life until later, hoping that all the problems will be resolved on their own and everything will definitely get better tomorrow. Alas, this will not happen if a person leads a measured, monotonous existence.
For example, you have a small apartment, but you want to buy a larger home. There is no way you can solve this situation until you find a way to make more money. To do this you will have to change jobs. Perhaps he will learn some new profession, change his field of activity.
The most interesting thing is beyond the comfort zone
What is the harm of staying in a familiar state for a long time?
If a lake frog is placed in a container of cold water, which is then heated over low heat, the amphibian will slowly begin to adapt. How? She gradually increases her body temperature, trying to make her stay in the new environment as pleasant as possible for herself. Soon there comes a turning point, when the liquid warms up so much that it is no longer bearable, but the frog still will not jump out of the flask and cook. This is due to the fact that she has already spent her reserves trying to adapt (by changing the temperature of her body).
An identical situation occurs with a person. When deterioration comes gradually, the person practically does not notice them or tries to pretend that he does not see the harmful changes. At first she makes concessions to her own detriment, then the situation worsens. Thus, one gradually comes to terms with the troubles that are occurring, consciousness changes, and as a result, a habit is formed.
A person can clearly understand everything, think for a long time about what does not suit him, want to change it, but alas, does nothing, postponing the solution to the issue “for tomorrow.” As a result, circumstances are already so pressing that everyday life turns into hell, he has neither the physical nor the moral ability to change anything, since all efforts were wasted on forming a habit. The longer an individual does not resist, the more his situation worsens, and he can no longer take drastic measures.
Many people ask the question: is it necessary to leave the established comfort zone? When a person lacks the motivation to change the situation, life itself presents him with problems that stimulate him to take action. Troubles push a person out of his familiar routine, and he is forced to look at what is happening in a new way and react appropriately. It is thanks to an unforeseen combination of circumstances that consciousness makes a sharp turn.
Psychologist Daria Milai
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If a specialist loses his job during layoff, resulting in severe stress. Over time, he opens his own business, which gives him something he could never have dreamed of. Many have hidden potential, but to unlock it, a tough shake is needed.
When a breakup occurs, a man or woman is forced to remain alone. They experience emotional shock and depression may occur. But after a while, a person looks at what happened differently, finds new love and even rejoices at the separation.
If you take a closer look, those things that were initially considered normal were most likely not so. We often get used to work with low pay, bad attitude from loved ones and believe that this is how it should be. Don't wait until life hits you so hard that you have to jump out of boiling water.
If you're scared
Fears accompany a person throughout his life.
Answer these questions with your fingers crossed for every “yes” answer.
- Were you bullied as a child in a way that made you feel afraid?
- At school did you find it difficult to find a common language with your classmates?
- Did you feel like a black sheep?
- Do you feel nervous before talking to a stranger?
- Do you feel uncomfortable surrounded by your colleagues (classmates, classmates)?
- Do you prefer solitude rather than company?
- Have you ever been in a conflict situation with a person you are afraid of?
- Have you been scared, threatened or beaten as an adult? (Open aggression)
- Were you afraid of your parents in your youth and childhood?
- Do you have complexes or phobias?
The more points you score, the more you need to trust.
- Trust this world.
- Trust the people around you.
- Trust life, its flow.
