How to develop willpower and become the master of your life

Willpower is a flexible skill that covers the lack of many others and helps tremendously in acquiring them. Scientists have long been saying that this is a limited resource that needs to be protected and replenished. How willpower is affected by the state of the body and the environment, why self-pity is not so bad, what is necessary to save (and acquire) willpower and how to trick your brain - read in this article.

Get enough sleep

Good sleep is the basis for normal willpower. In a sleep-deprived state, you certainly won’t want to push yourself to do anything. Most people know about this, but few actually implement this habit into their lives.

Poor sleep will make you weak and tired. It has a direct impact on the ability to concentrate and decision making. Kelly McGonigal, author of The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It's Important, and How You Can Improve It?, emphasizes the importance of getting enough hours of sleep:

Sleep deprivation (even sleeping less than 6 hours a night) is chronic stress that disrupts how your body and brain use energy. The prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for volition and the response to stress, is particularly affected by this.

Try to sleep 7-8 hours a day - no more and no less. This will give your body enough time to recharge its batteries and synthesize all the necessary substances. Thus, it is known that the hormone melatonin, which is very important for our well-being, is synthesized in the largest quantities from 23:00 to 2:00. A good rest will allow you to wake up refreshed and ready for all life's challenges.

What is it for?

Imagine that you want to lose weight for the upcoming summer season. You are driven by an intention (to eliminate unhealthy high-calorie foods from your diet), based on the desire to look good, wear beautiful fashionable clothes, and have good health.

This desire will be actively resisted by the habit of enjoying sweets and fatty foods, and the inability to resist temptations. The final result will depend on whether you manage to understand how to develop discipline and train your willpower. To lose weight, it is very important to adhere to a certain diet, cope with sudden attacks of hunger, and be able to refuse to buy sweets and other unhealthy foods.

The whole process is like a tug of war. On the one hand, this is a global task (to lose weight), on the other hand, there is an almost uncontrollable desire to eat to capacity.

It is an endless struggle between primitive desires and the desire for more. If a person can figure out how to train and increase willpower, he can effectively resist lower-level impulses in any situation. With low determination, it is very difficult to overcome your own weaknesses.

Meditate

Meditation is a great way to increase your willpower. Long enough practice also improves concentration, self-awareness and reduces stress levels.

What is equally important is that meditation does not require a lot of time and lengthy preparation. Just a few minutes a day can already have a fairly noticeable effect.

It does not require the conditions of a Buddhist monastery to be effective.

Sit comfortably in a suitable place in your home, close your eyes and try to clear your head of unnecessary thoughts. This will be very difficult at first - at least try not to focus on one of them for too long. Let them flow freely through your brain. Listen to the sensations in your body, to your breathing, relax all your muscles - this will allow you to concentrate on your inner world.

Many studies show changes after 8 weeks of short daily meditations. Spend 10 to 15 minutes every day and you won't be disappointed with the results.

#8. Breathing exercises

If you feel like you’re about to break down, try slowing your breathing to 4-6 breaths per minute.

By slowing your breathing, you activate the prefrontal cortex and increase heart rate variability. After just a few minutes, peace will come to you, you will gain control of yourself and be able to cope with temptations. This is a good way to develop willpower for those who always act impulsively.

Implement good habits

Habits are a way to perform actions without losing mental energy, automatically. They allow you to do the same thing day after day, without spending a drop of willpower on it, the reserves of which are limited for each person.

Having spent time and energy once on implementing the desired habit, you will save an order of magnitude more in the future. The easiest way is not to do it from scratch, but to replace old, unnecessary or bad habits with new ones. Automatisms are formed due to the fact that the brain receives a certain reward in the form of a release of joy neurotransmitters - dopamine and endorphins - after performing a certain action. For example, after smoking a cigarette. There is no need to deprive him of this reward - just change the source of pleasure. For example, the brain will like morning meditation no less than scrolling through a social media feed.

In addition, under the influence of stress, we tend to go into automatic mode, escaping from unpleasant influences with the help of habits - good or bad. Therefore, if you feel stressed at the end of the working day, it is better to go to the gym rather than to the bar. You will receive your dose of endorphins and thereby further strengthen your new healthy habit.

Why do you need training?

Regularly indulging our primitive desires, we eventually acquire bad habits. One after another ad infinitum. The more often we demonstrate weakness of character and allow ourselves not to resist impulses, the more they rise above us. This is very similar to drug addiction, which is extremely difficult to get rid of.

It is difficult for a lazy person to control himself and control his actions. Just thinking about the need to pave the way, he is already afraid of not coping with the task.

That is why the body needs to be trained, kept under control, and not allowed to relax. There are many recommendations and exercises for developing willpower, thanks to which you will be able to gain the desired independence.

Exercise and eat right

Good food and physical activity, as well as sleep, are critical to maintaining and even increasing willpower.

This is probably the most overlooked good habit. The easiest way is to give in to temptation and eat like crazy, feeling guilty afterwards. But what you eat and how much you exercise has a direct impact on your energy levels and how your prefrontal cortex will work.

Healthy eating is not quantum physics. It is enough to eat regularly, eat more plant foods and seafood so that the body receives all the necessary substances in the right quantities.

Regular training increases the level of endorphins in the body, reduces fat percentage, improves blood supply to the brain, and improves immunity. Recent studies have shown that physical activity is one of the most effective remedies against depression and anxiety. Finally, it also increases your willpower.

In one study, participants were given a free gym membership and personalized workout programs were developed for them. All those who exercised regularly reported that they began to smoke less, drink alcohol and drink caffeine after a few months. They also began to eat better, their emotional self-control, and their academic performance increased.

Choose your favorite activity, such as running, cycling, martial arts, swimming or any other. And exercise them at least 2 times a week.

What kind of person can be called tough?

First of all, it is worth understanding who can be considered tough, because often the word “tough” is used to describe a rude and ruthless person who is capable of doing anything to achieve his goals. Naturally, a tough person can be just like that, but this is not at all necessary.

If you want to become tougher, you shouldn't go overboard and bury all your basic ideas about good and evil. Toughness can be manifested in the ability to firmly follow through, make important decisions, maintain composure in stressful situations, and take responsibility.

A tough person does not have to walk around gloomy with a stone face, looking at everyone from under his brows. He can be a cheerful and sincere person, but at the right moments he can show firmness and uncompromisingness.

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Typically, tough people are tempered by difficult life situations and working to overcome them. Over time, they develop a kind of immunity and psychological resistance to such circumstances, along with other useful qualities.

Thus, being tough can be useful in the following cases:

  • conflict situations at work, accompanied by increased stress;
  • unforeseen circumstances requiring a quick response;
  • disputes in which you need to defend your point of view.

It is worth noting that toughness directly depends on willpower, which can be trained daily in different ways. Moreover, like all great things, this path begins with the simplest things.

Change the environment

Even if we don't realize it, the world around us has a huge influence on our behavior. This applies to such noticeable things as loud noises, uncomfortable chairs, dim lights, and small, almost inconceivable details such as atmospheric pressure or electromagnetic fields.

If you eat with a large spoon or use a large plate, you are likely to eat more. Turn off your phone and put it away - and you will be less tempted to be distracted by it while working. Just changing your environment can be an effective way to avoid distractions and conserve your willpower.

Try to associate your environment with a specific task. Your desk or office should be related to work or study, so fill it with relevant items. Having distracting items at your fingertips will likely cause you to become distracted and lead to poor performance.

You can also make certain tasks easier or more difficult. If you want to stop watching TV too much, try turning it off or removing the batteries from the remote. Do you want to run in the morning? Try packing your workout clothes the night before and leaving them next to your bed.

Move everything you want to focus on closer and keep things that take away your attention away.

Postpone pleasures

Our brain insists on meeting needs right here and now. The prospects looming somewhere in the distance to gain slimness, financial independence, good health, a successful life - do not seem so important. Because of this, we constantly succumb to temptations - we neglect our diet, spend large sums on trinkets, and irrationally distribute our free time.

Try to be patient a little. Delay the moment of getting what you want for 10 minutes. This is quite a bit, but during this period your consciousness will “reconsider priorities” and will be more likely to make the right decision.

Eliminate unnecessary decisions

Have you ever wondered how many decisions you make on a typical day? From the simple ones, like what to drink with lunch, to the most important or complex ones, like negotiating that big sale you want to pull off. What about a week or a month?

Researchers at Cornell University estimate that we make about 200 decisions a day regarding food and drink choices alone, although most of them remain subconscious. Their total number seems gigantic. And each of them (primarily conscious) requires its own portion of willpower. Limit the number of decisions you make to focus on the ones that really matter.

Pre-planning is a very good way to minimize unnecessary dilemmas. In order to schedule your day hourly, you will need no more than 10-15 minutes. In the future, you will not painfully go through different options for action and will be less likely to commit an impulsive emotional act. You already have a route map - just follow it.

Why is it important to develop willpower?

Those who consider willpower to be an innate characteristic like temperament or mentality are wrong. Will is the muscular frame of our personality; it becomes stronger from constant training and weakens from idleness. It can be developed and strengthened at any age.

Why is this necessary? To answer this question, look back at your life and imagine that you had the will and perseverance to achieve all your goals. Who would you be now? Do you like this person? Does he look like the real you?

Now think about your current goals. They have a chance to become reality. And after a while, looking back again, you will be able to proudly state that you have become the person you wanted to be today. Or they will remain pipe dreams, buried under a thick layer of laziness and lack of will. The choice is yours. As they say, the strong look for a way, and the weak look for a reason.

I suggest you honestly answer the following questions to determine how developed your will muscle is.

  1. Do you have bad habits?
  2. Do you often put off important tasks until the last minute?
  3. Do you spend a lot of time hanging out on social networks and watching TV series?
  4. Do you find it difficult to concentrate on a specific task and work without distractions?
  5. Do you tend to give up on things you start without finishing them?
  6. Have you ever tried unsuccessfully to go on a diet to lose weight?

If you answered “yes” to most of the questions, I have two news for you: good and bad. The bad thing is that you clearly lack willpower. The good thing is that by reading this article to the end, you will take the first step in the right direction. I have prepared for you 9 effective psychological techniques and ways to develop willpower.

Show yourself compassion

Contrary to popular belief, there is ample evidence that self-compassion works much better than self-criticism when dealing with failure or not achieving a certain goal.

In a study conducted at a women's college, researchers divided participants into two groups and asked each group to eat a donut from a plate. Then the experimenters talked to one of the groups. They told the participants phrases that went something like the following: “I hope you don’t find it difficult to eat these donuts. Everyone eats unhealthy food sometimes. All participants in this study eat donuts.” Later, participants were asked to eat some chocolate. And the group that was treated earlier consumed much less sweets than the control group.

People who practice self-compassion tend to be more willing to admit and learn from their mistakes, and to address their weaknesses.

When we realize that failing is a normal part of our lives and that we can learn from them, it will be easier to bounce back from setbacks and make positive changes.

What is will

Will is one of the most important components of personality, which determines a person’s effectiveness in all areas of life. This is the ability to mobilize your internal resources to achieve your goals and move towards them, maintaining a consistently high level of motivation throughout the entire journey.

No matter how outstanding talents and abilities an individual possesses by nature, without strong will and self-discipline he risks spending his entire life “hammering nails with a microscope.”

Take a look around. The world as we know it is the result of an act of will and the daring of strong-willed people. Without will there would be no great works of art, scientific discoveries, or space flights. Everything we admire is created by this power within us.

History knows many examples of people with phenomenal willpower. The most striking of them, perhaps, is Alexander the Great. Born into a royal family, he had everything one could dream of. He could have rolled around like cheese all his life, without knowing worries and troubles, but he chose a different path. His indomitable will and ambition made him the greatest commander in human history who never lost a single battle.

Use the 2 minute rule

Whenever you find it difficult to force yourself to do something, tell yourself: “I will only do this for 2 minutes.” You've probably noticed that starting to do something is the most difficult part of the task. Once things get moving, the going becomes much easier. Instead of telling yourself how much you don't want to do something, make an initial effort to do one small piece of work. It’s easier to decide on something small than something big. Read one page of a book or run one lap of a stadium.

There is a 90% chance that you will continue your activity after the first 2 minutes. At the very least, it will be much easier to decide on the next step. By moving a heavy steel ball from its place, it is easier to maintain the movement rather than stop it. The 2-minute rule is a great way to overcome the first and most difficult barrier of procrastination: getting started.

Are the desires of our body so important?

Many people believe that purposefully denying yourself the satisfaction of needs is prohibitively difficult. In reality this is not the case. People are often sensitive to their small pleasures, turning them into significant ones that they cannot do without. In fact, it only seems so.

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It's the same with our body. If he is raised correctly, all his primitive needs will lose their significance. And this does not mean at all that one should renounce primary desires, turning into a monk following the path of the spirit. You need to know moderation in everything and learn to be a master and not a slave. Everyone should know how to gain and develop willpower.

Make your biology work for you

You've probably heard about the existence of so-called biological rhythms - cyclical changes in the human body at certain periods of time. There are annual, monthly and other rhythms. However, we are interested in circadian ones - those associated with daily fluctuations in biological activity.

Each person has their own peaks of activity, and, accordingly, their willpower capabilities. For some it is easier to work in the morning, for others in the afternoon. Do a little research. Keep a diary and note how you feel throughout the day. After some time, you will discover certain patterns - at some hours you work worse, at others - better. You can do the same research for the days of the week.

Now you can change your plans according to biorhythms. Set the most difficult tasks that require maximum willpower at a time when your activity will be highest.

Warm-up

Having understood the definition of what willpower means, it’s time to learn how to train it. Take note of a couple of simple ways:

  • Start your actions from the “I won’t” position. Try not to use strong words in your speech, do not swing your leg while sitting, do not wrap your hair around your fingers, etc.
  • Make it a rule to pronounce the expression “I will” and live up to it. Every day, set aside time for meditation, take a contrast shower, walk, etc.

By performing these simple tasks every day, you can strengthen your self-control, ability to concentrate, and resist momentary impulses.

Summary

Our physiology has a huge impact on our mental state, including our willpower reserves. So take care of your body - get enough sleep, eat healthy foods and make time for physical activity. Study your biorhythms and plan your day according to them. Meditate - just 10-15 minutes of this practice will bring about long-term changes in your willpower. Introduce healthy habits - this will allow you to put many energy-consuming actions on automatic. Pay attention to the things around you - are they distracting you from the task at hand? Use the 2-minute rule to overcome resting inertia and solve problems in parts.

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How does a low level of volitional qualities manifest itself?

How to understand that a person has no willpower or is at a very low level?

There are signs indicating a lack of will and self-discipline:

  • The habit of “going with the flow” without making any effort to change circumstances.
  • A high level of suggestibility - the individual does not have not only the will, but also his strong opinion.
  • Statement - it is easier for a person to live when he is told what to do.
  • Inability to organize your space and time.
  • The habit of putting off everything difficult for later.
  • Fear of the future.
  • Low self-esteem, lack of faith in your success, in yourself.
  • Fear of responsibility.
  • Constantly looking for reasons and excuses for your failures.
  • Tendency to quit things that have been started.
  • Staying in dreams and thoughts that never find expression in action.
  • Fear of new beginnings and changes.

A person with weak willpower risks falling into eternal slavery of his body, his habits and failures. Driven by blind instincts, destructive beliefs and false beliefs, he will no longer have any right to choose.

Weak-willed people evoke pity, disdain and even contempt. They very easily succumb to the influence of others and allow themselves to be manipulated.

Even if a person has a lot of talents and abilities, without willpower, determination and self-control he will not be able to achieve success and make the most of his resources.

The path to success cannot be overcome without will and internal discipline. Will is a force that allows you to materialize what you want into reality.

Causes

Lack of will in psychology is a constant behavioral model, consisting of a lack of initiative, an inability to complete a task begun, to take a necessary action, or to make an independent decision.
The reasons for the occurrence of the behavioral pattern in question should first of all be sought in childhood. Excessive restrictive educational measures, overprotection, the desire to help in all the actions and endeavors of the child, cultivate passivity in the offspring, which degenerates into a skill that is quite difficult to overcome in the puberty period.

Sometimes lack of will and apathy become reactions to a protracted critical situation. For example, in case of financial losses, material or family problems, when an individual tried with all his might to find a way out, but failed over and over again. Unfortunately, the human brain quite quickly remembers such a negative algorithm (an attempt to correct a problematic situation entails another failure) and gives a signal not to try to cope with crisis circumstances. The result of this is passivity and apathy, which practically eliminate the potential chances for improving one’s own existence.

There are also views that strong will or lack of will is caused by the absorption of glucose by the body. With poor carbohydrate metabolism, the ability for intellectual activity is reduced against the background of an increased tendency to impulsive actions. This mechanism is genetically determined, as a result of which it is practically impossible to correct. At the same time, it is possible to train the ability to control one’s own will, but it is much more difficult for persons with the above violation to do this.

Often the trait under consideration becomes a consequence of functional disorders or organic pathologies of the brain, manifested in the inertia of ideas, passivity of ideas, dissociation, separation of images of motor acts and actions.

The described condition can give rise to a number of ailments, as well as excessive addiction to alcohol-containing drinks and narcotic products, which lead to passivity of intellectual activity.

Lack of will, a state of inactivity and laziness, is often a manifestation of various neuropsychiatric ailments, for example, depressive states, schizophrenia, brain injuries, and Parkinson's disease. Here the quality in question has a medical term - abulia and implies lack of will, generated by abnormalities in the functioning of the brain and requiring drug treatment.

We say abulia, we mean lack of will

From the ancient Greek language, the term “abulia” means “lack of will.” In medicine, abulia is a condition in which a pathological lack of will manifests itself. A person may experience constant bouts of laziness, he is overcome by a feeling of indecision, lack of will, and the desire to perform certain duties that require mandatory fulfillment may completely disappear.

This pathological disorder of the nervous system is a manifestation of apathy. It is not widespread, and the disorder itself is often confused with weakness of will. Abulia is easiest to identify in an adult patient; in children, this condition is usually accompanied by various associated problems.

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