What to do if your friends betrayed you, how to cope with the pain of resentment?:

Let's talk a little about betrayal

What to do if your friends betrayed you? In people's understanding, betrayal has different meanings. For some it is deception, for others it is betrayal, and for others it is failure to fulfill your whims and desires. This is, first of all, undermining trust through some action, a series of actions, or an incorrectly chosen word.

After betrayal, a person begins to delve into himself. Look for the reason for what happened, which, of course, affects self-esteem. He doubts that he is worthy of friendship and respect, since his best friend betrayed him. Feels guilty for what happened. But psychologists advise to first calm down and not look for reasons.

What is the reason?

Before we start figuring out what to do if your friends betray you, let’s find out why they do this. Often this happens not by choice, but due to various circumstances, stupidity, for example, or due to natural weakness. Someone is pursuing their own benefit. Sometimes this happens unconsciously; the traitor does not even think about the consequences.

How to cope with pain?

No matter how difficult it is, you need to pull yourself together and take a sober look at the current situation. Let's give some practical advice:

Don't isolate yourself.
Don't replay recent events in your head. This is already in the past. Don't look for the guilty.
You shouldn’t torment yourself with questions like why they treated you this way and not differently. In this way, aggression, resentment and bad energy will accumulate, taking away strength and health.
Physical activity is the best way to extinguish bad emotions. Let it be aerobics, running or any other sport. They will help you get rid of negative thoughts.
Throw out bad emotions on paper through painting.
Do not refuse the support of loved ones to whom you can pour out your soul.
If you want to scream and cry, don't hold back.

But under no circumstances take the blame upon yourself. It is important to understand that betrayal is a fairly common occurrence that many have experienced. If the offender wants to meet with you and explain himself, give him the opportunity to apologize. And one more piece of advice - don’t take revenge! This will not solve the problem, but will only make it worse.

Let's figure it out further, what to do if your friends betrayed you?

It is a wonderfull day!

Betrayal always becomes an unpleasant surprise for us, a blow. When this happens to you, the following questions swirl in your head: “Why?”, “What should I do?”, “What’s wrong with me?”, “What did I do wrong?”, “Can I fix the situation?” “How to communicate now?”, “How to go to school/club/work now?”, “What does he think about me?”, “Is this the end?” But before you understand what to do when your friends betray you, you need to decide what it is - betrayal...

Only a close friend can betray, that is, if a classmate complained to the teacher that you were cheating, this is not betrayal, but simply a nuisance. Betrayal is a fully conscious act. When a person betrays, he understands his responsibility and agrees with what he is doing. Betrayal is not a mistake, but a conscious act.

But what to do if you are betrayed? How to behave? What should you do and what should you refrain from?

1. Two are to blame. To say that only a friend is to blame is wrong, because in betrayal there are always two to blame. Perhaps you spent too little time with your friends, did not listen to their thoughts and desires, or made another mistake. It cannot be that only one person is to blame, because the basis of friendship is active interaction, mutual assistance, mutual assistance, that is, no matter what you do, you do it together.

2. Success. Very often, when a person achieves significant or even minor success, his friends may betray him out of envy. For example, you got a “5” for a math test, and your friend got a “2”. Even for such an insignificant reason, if you start to become arrogant, praise yourself and talk only about your grade, then your friend may start a rumor that you completely copied the work and don’t even know the multiplication table. But if you carefully offer to help your friend with math, then this may not happen. There may not be betrayal either. It all depends on the person.

3. It has nothing to do with you. When your friend tells you all your deepest secrets, the last thing he will think about is you. It will be important for him to maintain a dialogue, to please the person, but not to harm you. By communicating with you and someone you don’t like at the same time, your friend does not want to hurt you, but only thinks about her own benefit from communicating with this person.

4. Why? Trying to find out why this happened and constantly asking questions to the traitor is the main mistake. Because no matter how many times you ask the question, it will remain unanswered and will only worsen your situation. There is only one conclusion from betrayal: you were easily erased from your life, and now you need to do the same to your friend.

5. Betrayal is bad. Betrayal does not carry any good intentions, and therefore it is evil, but it is even worse to betray a friend in return in order to take revenge, if only because after betrayal there is no longer friendship, which means that the person must be erased from your life forever. No matter how painful, bad, or offensive it may be for you, do not try to take revenge on your friends, because then you will be no better than them.

The best way to take revenge on a traitor is to become even happier, even more successful, to reveal all your talents and find new friends. Life doesn’t end with betrayal, but friendship does. Under no circumstances should you try to be friends with a traitor again. You will feel uncomfortable, constantly remember past grievances and fear that this might not happen again. In addition, the traitor can repeat his disgusting act more than once.

Betrayal, like any other strong shock, makes you stronger morally, strengthens your fortitude and will. There are cases where, during times of strong emotional upheaval, a person awakens a talent for art - music, painting, literature. Try writing a poem or story about your feelings, paint a picture or compose a song. But I don’t recommend listening to sad melodies and reading stories about betrayal. This can make you sadder and worsen your sadness for years to come. Watch a movie about the life of Navy SEALs, why not?

Have you ever been betrayed? How did you deal with negative feelings? How did the betrayal affect you? Have you become stronger mentally? How do you feel about choosing friends now? Be sure to write about it in the comments! Your opinion is important to me, because it helps me develop and make our portal better and more informative.

What reaction might occur?

We have already talked about the desire for revenge. Along with this, there are:

Anger and anger. In a state of passion, a person is capable of committing the most terrible crimes. Firstly, this will negatively affect your emotional state and health, and secondly, by harming the offender, you will only make an enemy. Just forget about betrayal.
Hatred. Generates evil.
Resentment. It is known to destroy a person from the inside.

You need to learn to forgive. This is difficult and may not work out right away, but this is the only way you will be able to relieve internal burden, get rid of bad thoughts and emotions, and mental pain. So, what to do if your best friend betrays you?

Explain the situation.

Whether you are a traitor or a betrayed friend, the damage can sometimes be temporary, and sometimes the consequences can be permanent and life-altering. Either way, how we interpret a breakup can add to or ease our pain.

What does it mean? Sometimes this means making sure your interpretation is the same as your friend's. For example, Alice felt abandoned by Deirdre, her closest childhood friend, who stopped answering her phone calls. “I was texting, emailing and doing everything I could to avoid going to her house and knocking on her door,” Alice said. “In the end, I just decided that our friendship had to end. I was in so much pain and I was very angry.” But she felt worse when she discovered that Deirdre was actually suffering from severe depression. “I finally walked up to her house and knocked until she let me in. She looked terrible. She didn’t eat or leave the house for several days,” Alice said. “I picked her up and took her to the hospital. It wasn't betrayal. It was a disease."

Or maybe he wasn’t one?

What makes a true friend different?

He always remembers you, even when he is very busy with work, and will come to your aid at any moment.
He will sort out your problems.
There's never a dull moment with him.
You can trust him with innermost secrets that no one will know about.
Knows how to forgive.
He feels you perfectly and knows what and how to help.
He will help you financially and physically, without demanding anything in return.
He won’t let you get into trouble, he won’t make you laugh at him because of something stupid; on the contrary, he will bring you to your senses and offer the right solution.

Therefore, in the event of a quarrel, think about whether the offender was your true friend? Of course, it also happens that a comrade commits betrayal due to certain reasons that justify it to some extent. But the person who betrayed will be able to do this again.

True friend or false?

Friendship, like any other type of human relationship, has its own criteria. Surely you want to know how not to make mistakes

and distinguish a real friend from a false one?

A friend always remembers you, even if he is busy with work and affairs. And he is always ready to offer his help in difficult situations.
A friend will not brush aside your problems, like “solve it yourself.” He will not only find out what happened, but will also try to the best of his ability to offer a way out to resolve the situation.
It’s interesting to spend time with him, communicate, and do common things. Picnics, playing billiards, football, fishing trips, household chores - it’s never boring with true friends.
You can “cry into your vest” without embarrassment to a friend. He will listen, understand and will not tell anyone about your weakness.
A true friend knows how to forgive - and there is nothing to add here.
A friend knows what to offer you to improve your mood. He is on the same wavelength as you and feels your state perfectly, especially if the friendship lasts more than one year.
If necessary, a friend is ready to let you spend the night; he will feed you and share money without demanding anything in return.
You can consult with a friend on various issues. He won't make you laugh if he hears something stupid. On the contrary, he will try to convince you and offer the right solution. And if you’ve already gotten yourself into something, a friend will try to help you get out of your problems.

They have been looking for friends for years. That is why there are never many of them. Therefore, you must be able to value a friend as you value yourself. And let the one who neglected your friendship out of your life as soon as possible.

If a friend has offended me in some way, I will talk to him about it. I'll start with the following words: ...
If we have disputes and disagreements with a friend (girlfriend), I will try to make peace with him and come to a common denominator.

Why do you think friendship sometimes cools?
If a friend has offended you, in what cases will you express “everything you think about him”, and in what cases will you simply remain silent?
If you and a friend have a disagreement, what can you learn from it?
How to avoid disagreements and arguments with friends?

If betrayal comes into a person’s life, according to Leo Tolstoy, it is like breaking both arms: you can forgive, but you still won’t be able to hug. Friends are our shoulder, support, our inspirers and psychologists, our brothers and sisters not by blood, but by spirit. Anyone who has been betrayed by loved ones feels devastated and crushed; the familiar and comfortable world is collapsing.

Unfortunately, such cases are far from uncommon. The situation when you were betrayed by a loved one, and often by your best friend, has occurred in the lives of many of us. What to do, how to return to a normal life after it, how not to fall into depression, and, most importantly, what lessons should be learned from such a situation?

What to do if your best friends leave you?

In this case, you should not immediately panic, you need to analyze why this is happening. If you have done something wrong, simply admit it and ask for forgiveness. It also happens that in the bustle of everyday life we forget about old friends. Just like they, in fact, are building their personal lives and careers.

Therefore, before you worry, look at the problem with different eyes, gather your friends. Believe me, you will have many interesting topics for conversation and warm memories.

Some useful tips

Once you find the reason why friends disappear from your life, recharge yourself with positivity. Do not refuse new acquaintances, make peace with old friends. So:

Look for comrades with similar interests.
Get together with old friends more often, at least once a week for a cup of coffee.
Keep in touch with friends.

So, now we know what to do if your friends betrayed you. In the case of real betrayal, you should forget the offense and let the offender go. But don’t cut short, perhaps this is just a ridiculous quarrel, because of which you shouldn’t give up your friendship.

Analysis of the situation

The most important thing is that you need to understand and accept, although it is difficult - where there is betrayal, there is no friendship. Betrayal is not an insult. By offending you, consciously or unconsciously, friends will never cross a certain line. By betraying, a person deliberately sets you up, sometimes for the sake of his own interests, sometimes simply out of anger and envy. Any offense can be forgotten and relationships can be improved, but betrayal is definitely a break in trust.

Although this is difficult, it is important to understand yourself: is it my fault that a friend betrayed me? Maybe he couldn’t do otherwise, he just couldn’t, he was confused? Maybe, knowing about his cowardice, you put him in conditions in which he could not support you, stand up for you? Friendship is a relationship that is primarily voluntary. If we force a person to choose between our interests and his own, we risk trust. After carefully analyzing the situation, perhaps you will look at it differently.