- September 21, 2018
- Psychology of relationships
- Ahi Svetlana
Each of us has friends. Most of them are good, sympathetic people, but at times there is a feeling that they are strangers to us. At such moments, you think about your surroundings: who are they - friends or just comrades? People say: you can open your soul to a friend, but to a friend you can only open the doors of your home. But in reality everything is much more complicated. Let's figure out the difference between each other and a friend.
Who can you call a friend?
A friend, as Wikipedia explains, is a sworn brother, a comrade, a sworn brother, but not a blood relative.
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A friend can be called a person who understands that friendship is a 24-hour concept. Only a friend is ready to pick up the phone at any time of the day or night, listen or rush to help, without demanding anything in return. Like in a good children's song:
There are friends, and for them, friends have no days off!
A friend is a person you can rely on, who will never let you down or betray you.
Buddy
These people surround us every day. We have fun with them, talk about various topics, invite them to visit and visit them ourselves. But unlike a friend, a friend doesn’t owe us anything. He is not ready to help or support in difficult times. And there is not always a desire to ask him for anything. Somewhere on a subconscious level we feel that this is “not our person”, so we cannot trust him with our innermost, personal things. And we are ready to ask a friend for support, understanding, sympathy, and participation. We can say that a friend has certain responsibilities: he owes us, and we owe him.
How is friendship different from camaraderie?
Many people misunderstand what friendship is, confusing it with companionship. They call all the people they interact with regularly as friends. However, camaraderie and true friendship are two different things. Comrades are people who are part of a regular social circle and have enough common topics to talk about. You can meet with a friend to talk or do something interesting. Partnership implies a fairly close acquaintance and the presence of common interests. If everyone leaves and you are left alone, there will be no awkwardness. You will quickly find an interesting topic for communication, but you will not share your innermost experiences with a friend.
The main difference between friendship and partnership is the degree of mutual trust. If in the process of communication you begin to trust your friend more, then over time he may well become your friend. Companions are often students studying in the same group. But after graduation, they usually see each other only at alumni meetings. If friendship arises between two students, they do not lose touch and find reasons for regular meetings and communication.
Conclusions TheDifference.ru
- A friend is a person with whom there is a certain inner closeness, in whose support you can be one hundred percent sure. Friendship is simply a good acquaintance and pleasure from communicating with a person.
- You can trust a friend with all your feelings and experiences, but with a friend you don’t touch on too deep topics.
- Friendship implies long-term acquaintance and regular communication, while a friend is a recent acquaintance who periodically appears in your life.
- There is only one true friend, sometimes several. There can be many friends in life.
- A friend is open to selfless moral support and empathy and is not capable of meanness and betrayal, which cannot be said about a friend.
Why is friendship needed?
True friendship is an important component of a successful life. For most people, it is valuable in itself. They do not look for additional reasons and arguments, because they understand that without it, life would be less rich and interesting. But don't underestimate the practical value of friendship, because friends have a significant impact on other areas of our lives, even if we don't notice it.
Psychologists say that 80% of our success in life is determined by our environment. Therefore, it is important to have friends nearby who always support you, sincerely rejoice at your successes and help you in difficult situations without hesitation. A true friend will not pull you down, will not laugh at your failure and will always support your choice. In addition, studies have shown that people who are confident that they have real friends are less stressed and even have stronger immunity.
How to maintain friendship
Do you know a person in your circle who fits the indicated signs of true friendship? Are you worried about the safety of these feelings? Let's see what can be done to maintain your friendship as long as possible.
- Stay close. If your friend is feeling bad, try to help him, listen to him. If possible, be physically nearby;
- Keep in touch. Of course, it is not always possible to communicate every day. But try to take an interest in your friend's affairs;
- Show interest. Even if you are not very interested in programming, for example, your friend will be very pleased if you show interest in what he likes. Ask what kind of programming he does, what project he is doing, etc.;
- Don't be intrusive. If your friend has a busy schedule, you know that he is stuck at work, there is no need to impose. Understand that everyone has the right to their own time and space. Perhaps your person wants to be alone, think about something or decide for himself;
- Don't just get offended. Grudges are never a good thing. Therefore, there is no need to be offended or swear for no reason. This greatly violates the principles of trust and mutual respect;
- Do not unload all the accumulated negativity on your friend. Sometimes people make a significant mistake when becoming friends with someone. They begin to suffer for a long time and reprimand their problems to the person. Sometimes they are not significant. But at the same time, you put a very strong emotional burden on the other person. Here it is important to find that golden mean;
- Don't manipulate;
- Don't be faced with a choice. Blackmail, attempts to force another to make a choice between you and a third party always lead to discord. Respect your friend, do not force him to make such choices;
- Don't judge. If something does not agree with your ideas about life, this does not mean that it is wrong in the common human understanding. There is no need to impose your opinion on others;
- Do not give unsolicited or unnecessary advice. Especially if these tips are evaluative in nature. There is no need to fill real friendships with toxicity.
To maintain true friendship, it is necessary to build environmentally friendly relationships
Girlfriend or friend? What is the difference?
Sometimes, when you hear two friends call each other friends, you are sincerely surprised: they really don’t understand that friend and girlfriend are not the same thing, and that there is a difference in the meaning of these two words? Or do they both find the word “girlfriend” offensive to their ears, but they say it because it implies something more beautiful than the word “buddy”? Or maybe there is no difference between these two concepts... Let's try to figure it out.
A friend is...
First, let's define what a buddy is. This is someone with whom, when meeting, you can cheerfully “chatter” about nothing, or maybe even about something serious and global, but immediately after parting, instantly forget about this meeting. And until you happen to see each other again, neither of you will feel the need to communicate with each other.
You will not miss your friend, you will not look for meetings with her and trust her with your heartfelt secrets. You never get offended by her, because, in fact, you have nothing to share.
After all, resentment toward a person usually arises when you expect certain actions, words, or reactions from him and do not receive it. (Read about how to forgive an insult .) But you don’t expect anything from your friend.
And even ask for help only when those closest and dearest cannot help you (and even then, not always).
In this sense, it’s easier to be a friend. After all, being a friend means having certain obligations that a friend does not have by definition. You can’t ask anything from her, but her friend still owes us something, just like we owe her.
Difference between friend and buddy (girlfriend and buddy):
- With your friend you have inner closeness, common interests and life values, and a desire to trust secrets. With a friend, such a need does not arise.
- Friendship is based on long-standing communication. Not necessarily frequent, but regular. And with a friend, communication is purely formal and superficial.
- You can never have too many girlfriends, but you can have as many friends as you want.
- Even if you haven’t seen each other for a long time, you and your friend will always have common topics for communication. And communication with friends can completely disappear if you don’t communicate for a long time.
- If an acquaintance says something unpleasant to you, you, of course, will not like it, but not as much as the same thing coming from a friend might hurt you. (Read what to do if your friend constantly criticizes .)
- Friends are your constant companions in life, with whom you move in the same direction. And friends just periodically appear on your path, because your routes sometimes intersect.
- It is pleasant for you to communicate with good acquaintances, and you can even provide each other with some services from time to time. You can remember to wish your friend a happy birthday... or you can forget, but not feel any particular remorse. But you always remember about your friend’s birthday, and you no longer provide services to each other, but real help.
- If you have serious problems, then you will share them with a friend, not a friend, and it will be the former, not the latter, who will help solve them. The same can be said about you. You will also actively participate in resolving your friend's problems, while you can simply sincerely sympathize with your friend.
- Acquaintances usually know about you only what you show and what lies on the surface, but those close to you know what is inside you, your deepest experiences.
- Friendship is responsibility and obligations to each other, and friendship is “no one owes anyone anything.”
If there are only friends around, not girlfriends?
This also happens. And often only those who do not know how to be friends have no friends at all. Therefore, analyze your behavior and communication with your friends, think about why none of them become close and dear to you. Who is to blame for this: them or you?
It happens that you talk a lot with someone, laugh, talk on the phone, and now it seems to you that this is the real female friendship that exists .
But if you know that you cannot rely on the one with whom you spend a lot of time, you cannot count on her support, you notice
envy and sidelong glances on her part, then do not rush to call her a friend.
Let her better remain beyond the line beyond which there are just acquaintances and friends.
If you don’t have a best friend, and you’re not very worried about this, then you don’t need it, and everything is fine with your communication.
And there is nothing wrong with the fact that sometimes you just need to chat with your friends about fashion, about the dangers of coffee , about how to become rich , or about how to learn to save money , go shopping and drink tea together during breaks at work. You can have interesting conversations with just friends. And girlfriends - they will definitely appear.
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Source: https://happydiva.ru/zhenskaya-druzhba/257-podruga-ili-priyatelnitsa-v-chem-raznitsa
Biblical encyclopedia arch. Nikephoros
friend
(Exodus 33:11). In St. In Scripture this word appears quite often; however, this word is often used as an ordinary greeting, but not in the meaning of true real love and friendship. For example, in the parable about a wedding feast, to which everyone who happened to meet at crossroads was invited, the king, the owner of the feast, said to one of those who arrived at the feast: “Friend! like you, you did not come here wearing a wedding garment” (Matthew 23:12). The Savior answered Judas after the treacherous kiss in the Garden of Gethsemane: “Friend, why have you come?” (Matthew 26:50).
How does friendship happen?
Usually, no special circumstances are required for this; everything happens spontaneously. Often the emergence of friendly relations is facilitated by a common team. The question “who is a friend” does not arise until the moment “x”, when a person must show the qualities of a friend. That's when friendships are tested for strength.
Most friends appear during school and student years. This is the time when we exist in an environment conducive to the emergence of friendships. Here it is not so difficult to comply with the conditions conducive to the formation of strong friendships. Namely:
1. Proximity.
2. Meetings of a regular nature.
3. The opportunity to relax in front of another person, try to trust him.
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Therefore, many have friends from school and university days, friendship with whom has stood the test of time. Some of them successfully fell into the “best friends” category. In school and college life, we don't make much effort to make friends. Everything happens by itself. But when the school years end, real friendships become harder to build. Adults occupy certain places in life, and they do not have so much free time to spend on another person. That’s when the question arises: “What is the difference between a friend and a friend?” How do you understand who you can rely on and who you should be careful with in personal matters?
Synonyms
Comprehension of the meaning of a word almost always consists of two steps: first, understanding the meaning, and second, mastering similar words. This time we will not deviate from the proven scheme. So, the list of synonyms is as follows:
- familiar;
- Friend;
- sidekick;
- corefan;
- old man.
The list is a little strange, because any person who has not even plunged into the linguistic depths and analyzed linguistic delights knows: a friend is not a friend. Yes that's right. But language, on the one hand, is an education plus or minus objective, and on the other hand, deeply subjective. Friend, as a concept, can be extremely broad, or it can also be narrow. Depending on who the person is talking to. To an outsider, everyone you say hello to in a given situation is your friend. When the person himself divides people into groups, the situation may be different. However, we need examples to clarify.
Philosophical Dictionary (Comte-Sponville)
friend
Friend ♦ Ami A person you love and who loves you regardless of family ties and sensual or erotic attraction. This does not mean that you cannot be friends with a relative or lover, it means that you can call him your friend only if your mutual affection cannot be explained only by blood, passion or desire. We choose our friends ourselves, while we don’t choose relatives, and you can fall in love even without your desire. Therefore friendship is both easier and freer. “A brother is a friend bestowed by nature.” This moral teaching, which in the old days was instilled in schoolchildren, in my opinion, serves to reveal not so much the essence of family relationships as the essence of friendship. A friend is a brother given to us as a result of free choice. “A bad friend is one who is friendly with everyone,” said Aristotle. It is this selectivity that distinguishes friendship from mercy. Charity is fundamentally universal, while friendship is essentially personal. This does not mean, of course, that mercy and friendship are incompatible (a friend is also one of our neighbors, and nothing prevents a neighbor from becoming a friend); it just means that one does not replace the other. Let's take Jesus and John. The love for one's neighbor, preached by Christ, did not prevent him from choosing a friend for himself. So do we: trying to be merciful, we should not give up friendship; While maintaining friendship, we must not forget about mercy.
Nodding acquaintance
The dictionary says that a phraseological unit means intimate acquaintance. The answer is simple: in the century before last, wealthy men wore hats, which were customary to lift if they saw someone they knew. Moreover, there was a certain hierarchy. Friends raised their hats when they met, friends shook hands, relatives or close friends hugged.
And this means, in turn, that everything is not so simple. Friend and buddy are not synonyms. By the way, for some reason, many people find the phraseology “casual acquaintance” difficult to understand. This is probably because men's hats are now almost out of fashion.
An acquaintance is a person whom you see from time to time, but you don’t really know anything about him, except his name, of course. Usually we know a little better about a friend and a friend.
The main thing is not to make mistakes
How to figure out who is a friend and who is a friend? You need to know the distinctive features of each.
Buddy:
1. This person is more than an ordinary acquaintance, but less than a close friend. In a relationship with him, the necessary amount of trust and intimacy is not present.
2. I want to spend free time with him, talk about various topics.
3. My friend and I have many common interests; even our life goals often intersect.
4. But we do not risk entrusting the secret to him: there is always a doubt that our secret will not be told to others.
5. When there is a silent pause in a conversation with him, you feel discomfort - you start saying anything to break this silence.
6. You often want to take a break from such a person.
7. You can turn to him for help, but you don’t want to.
Friendship appears to us as something sublime, unearthly. What is the difference between a friend and a friend? Basic moments:
1. A friend is like a brother or sister to us. There is always a feeling that he is “one of our own.”
2. First of all, he wants to tell about what happened or tell him about his future plans.
3. It’s nice to be silent with him without feeling awkward.
4. The peculiarities of his character do not irritate us; We behave naturally with him.
Everyone knows that true friendship stands the test of time. If after a while we feel the need for another person, we understand that he values us and loves us, then we are dealing with friendship. This is the difference between a friend and a friend.
Holiday
Friendship served as the reason for creating a holiday on an international scale. Friends Day serves as an excellent occasion to remind loved ones of their importance in our lives. Of course, the date is unofficial, and few people know about it, but perhaps the situation will soon change for the better.
Friends Day is celebrated on June 9th. Don't forget to congratulate your close comrades on this day. Even if the celebration is unofficial for now, it is a reason to please each other once again.
Now you know who a friend is and how to distinguish him from the whole mass of acquaintances. Just remember that you can’t have too many friends, or rather, there are, but whether they are all real is the question. It is very difficult to go through life alone, so it is important that comrades are present in it. They will always support and help you if necessary. If you have a person who has all of the above qualities, he is your best friend and is not communicating with you for his own benefit. Appreciate him and treasure him.
Comrade
A friend is a person whom you know well, have common topics of conversation, he works or studies with you, you go to the gym or yoga together. This could be a colleague, classmate, classmate.
Communication occurs superficially, when necessary, one should expect help from him only if it is beneficial for him or if the norms of behavior in society require it. In other words, they become friends due to some situations outside .
For you, he is just a friend, you do not feel trusting feelings towards him, do not share secrets or experiences.