This article explains how to reduce excessive worry, which can have mental and physical consequences.
Are you worried about a wart? Are you just nervous? Are you constantly worried about everything from your health to how you are perceived at work to whether a terrorist attack is imminent?
If this sounds like you, then you may be worried about your life. This is normal in principle, but excessive worrying affects more than just your mental state; it can also be detrimental to your physical health. That's why we're raising questions about the causes of excessive worry and ways to break the cycle and take back your life.
Do you experience fears within yourself and realize that you are screwing yourself up? What's the stupidest thing you've ever worried about?
What is self-doubt?
What is self-doubt and how does it manifest itself? Lack of self-confidence – underestimation of one’s own importance and abilities. Similar concepts are considered low self-esteem and inferiority complex.
Uncertainty manifests itself in everything a person does. Quiet voice, timid gait, withdrawal from communication, fear of relationships, agreement with the opinions of others. An insecure person is afraid of everything, and even if the opportunity is given to prove himself and get out of the vicious circle, the person does not use it. He's afraid it won't work out, and he's not sure it's worth it.
Shyness is an inner monster
I was also very shy. It felt like there was some evil creature living inside me that wanted to take control of my body and life (it may sound stupid, but it’s true). My main goal was to fight this inner monster every day, that is, I tried to do exactly what he is afraid to do. Of course, I made a lot of mistakes and stumbled a lot before I learned all the rules of the game.
And then the inner monster left my body.
How do you deal with shyness? Share in the comments.
What are the external signs of self-doubt?
A person's behavior reveals an insecure person. Please note that it varies. For example, in the first case, a person is afraid to say a word or take an action, speaks with downcast eyes, in a barely audible voice.
In the second case, the person speaks quickly and loudly, trying to attract attention and make a good impression in order to mask low self-esteem.
Outwardly, a person who is insecure looks like he prefers to remain invisible to everyone. He slouches, hides his eyes, walks along the edge or along the wall, lowers his head. The whole appearance shows a desire not to be discovered.
How to stop being shy: a guide to action
Faith in success
The most difficult thing is to take the first step towards a more liberated self. It may even seem to you that this is unrealistic, that nothing will come of this whole venture. Drive away these thoughts! This is wrong. You will definitely succeed. Believing in yourself and your success is very important, so stock up on them to the fullest.
You are no worse than others
The next stage is the understanding that you are no worse than other people.
You are the same, and in some qualities you are superior to many. Remember all your strengths and skills. Some of them are not a sin to brag about or at least demonstrate to the world. For example, do you write poetry? Stop hiding them! Join the literary community and show your creations to other people. Although not everyone will like your poems, you will definitely find fans of your work.
Remember: to receive compliments and approval, you need to show people what you can be praised for. If you are closed, then you simply will not be noticed. And learn to love yourself for who you are. Nobody is perfect.
Failure is a learning experience
Criticism or failures in life are not always bad. Perceive your failures not as the end of the world, but as a certain experience that makes you wiser and stronger.
Remember the famous phrase “what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger”?
It may be hackneyed, but it is very true. This is true! Therefore, you can be a little sad, even cry, and the next day pull yourself together and move on to a better life.
Facing your fears
To overcome your indecisiveness, you need to work hard on yourself.
You are probably embarrassed to speak in public. Start by at least making a toast. This is a challenge for many people: to find certain words, assemble them into beautiful sentences and pronounce them publicly, albeit in a small company of close people. It’s better to prepare this short speech in advance, think through all your wishes and repeat several times. You will realize that everything is not so scary. Everyone will definitely like it. Try it! You can also contact strangers on the street more often with various questions. For example, asking how to get to such and such a street. This will also liberate you, you will be less afraid of communication.
Become a pleasant conversationalist
Do you think that in order to have a conversation, you need to have some kind of secret knowledge or have a special relationship with a person?
This is not always the case. Many sociable people talk with others about mere trifles. It wouldn’t hurt for you to adopt this quality, even if it seems stupid at first. Start by talking about the weather, no matter how trivial it may be. Next, you can discuss matters that connect you with your interlocutor. If this is a co-worker, you can talk about the problem of parking near the office building. If the neighbor talks about how the rent bills have increased. The main thing is to start, and the conversation can develop on its own, especially if your interlocutor is more sociable than you. Practice! And you will get involved.
Give compliments
People love to hear pleasant words addressed to them, even if said in passing. And especially women! Give them compliments. You don't have to be full of praise. Suffice it to say that today the young lady has a good hairstyle or a beautiful dress. You will see how she will immediately become more disposed towards you.
The right attitude
Train yourself to be positive every day. A positive state of mind, even from scratch, will help you overcome life's obstacles. Healthy optimism never hurt anyone!
What is the cause of uncertainty?
Psychologists identify certain reasons for the development of self-doubt. And one of the main ones is copying such behavior , which develops in childhood. It is known that basic skills and behavior patterns are established at an early age under the influence of the immediate environment.
Some of the parents or other family members were timid and shy. The child began to imitate and developed a similar pattern of behavior, becoming insecure and shy.
The creator of the “ learned helplessness ,” Martin Seligman, argued that a child’s type of character and behavior is formed under the influence of adults’ reactions to his actions. For example, parents either do not react to the baby in any way and ignore his achievements, or they react equally negatively or positively.
an inferiority complex as one of the main reasons for the development of self-doubt . The individual is sure that he is not capable of anything and is nothing of himself. How can you be confident with such an attitude towards yourself? Most people have an inferiority complex that grows from childhood. It has been proven that it is directly related to uncertainty, and at any time one can contribute to the development of the other.
Talk to a friend or loved one
A confidential conversation with a friend or long-time friend will help in cases where you are not able to figure out the problem on your own. If you are left alone with yourself in a crisis situation, your thoughts will very quickly take on a negative connotation, and you will be overcome by fear of the future.
A frank conversation with a friend or relative will help overcome self-doubt and get rid of isolation. When you begin to openly share your thoughts, you will soon realize that the problem is far-fetched, the reality is not as terrible as it seems. In addition, words of approval and compliments from loved ones increase confidence.
How to overcome self-doubt through self-development?
Are there effective ways to overcome self-doubt? Or is everything that developed in childhood impossible to correct? There is a way out, and provided that a person is ready to work on himself, results can be achieved after some time.
Knowing yourself helps a lot to help you cope with the complex.
People have been engaged in self-knowledge for many years, and sometimes all their lives, then how can they get rid of uncertainty?
First, in a calm environment, you should think about yourself not from a critical side , but from a real one. Take a blank sheet of paper and honestly write down your own positive and negative qualities. Then analyze what was written and cross out those that are far-fetched or far-fetched.
You are allowed to write down external data (I have beautiful and expressive eyes, a charming smile, a funny and funny nose), as well as skills (I know how to set goals and achieve them, I know three foreign languages). It is also recommended to focus on internal, spiritual qualities (I know how to listen to others and do not give advice until they ask me, I happily help people).
You are not allowed to write about yourself in a mocking, critical or negative manner. Leave a space after each line in the negative column. Once the list of negative qualities is ready, under each item write what to do to make the quality positive. For example, under the phrase “I am overweight” write (I am able to adjust my diet and increase physical activity in order to have a beautiful figure. Over time, work through some points from the negative column and rewrite them into a positive one. Self-esteem will increase, and with it the uncertainty will pass.
Say stop to negative thoughts
Often, self-confidence is lost due to people's inability to control their thinking. Negative thoughts arise automatically, without any effort on the part of the person. Positive thinking, on the contrary, often requires deep work on oneself. The simplest thing you can do in moments of anxiety and doubt is to ask yourself the question: “What am I thinking about now?” You will be surprised to discover how far you have sunk into thoughts about something bad.
To overcome fear and uncertainty, learn to mentally stop and observe everything that happens from the outside. Imagine sitting on the bank of a river and watching its flow. The flowing stream of water in the example reflects the thought process well. You can imagine flying birds or clouds in the sky. Calmly watch them without trying to stop them. Soon you will notice that all the negativity has passed, and it has been replaced by calmness and tranquility.
How to overcome uncertainty through sports?
It is known that playing sports has a positive effect on a person’s mood and can increase self-esteem. By playing sports, a person achieves certain successes, which he begins to be proud of. And this, of course, is the path to self-acceptance and the fight against uncertainty.
Exercising causes an increase in the level of happiness hormones, which improves your mood. A person likes external changes, he enjoys the process, which helps to cope with uncertainty.
Change your mindset to a positive one
Uncertainty and fear of doing something wrong poison life. It is important to understand that these negative feelings begin with thoughts. The perception of the surrounding reality depends on how and what you think about. Therefore, to make yourself better, try to control your thoughts, suppress anxiety with an effort of will, and do not let doubts overcome you.
While clearing your mind of negativity, at the same time form positive thinking. Doing yoga or doing something you love, receiving gratitude, and physical activity increase dopamine production. This substance increases the level of internal motivation. You will be able to better control your thoughts and overcome many fears.
Following the recommendations of psychologists will increase self-esteem and help overcome indecision and fear of communicating with people:
- Read motivational articles and books. Recommended reading: “The Luck Factor” by Richard Wiseman, “A Practical Course in Happiness” by John Kehoe, “Change Your Thinking and You’ll Change Your Life” by Brian Tracy, “Hero” by Rhonda Byrne.
- Listen to your favorite music.
- Surround yourself with optimistic people.
- Every time before you go to bed, write down three positive things that happened during the day.
How to get rid of self-doubt: additional tips
How else can you get rid of self-doubt? There are some ways that, when used in combination or one at a time, a person can increase self-esteem and gain self-confidence:
- communicate with people, even if it’s difficult. Isolation and refusal to communicate will not lead to increased self-esteem. Be the first to approach and start a conversation, study various interesting topics to become a worthy interlocutor, determine a social circle in which you will be comfortable expressing yourself.
- Focus on events in which you were a confident person. If you need to remember, take the time to write down the details of situations. The idea that you weren’t always overwhelmed by uncertainty will give you strength and raise your self-esteem.
- Don't be afraid to take responsibility. Start with everyday little things, make a choice and be responsible for it. Gradually make more complex decisions, increase the level of responsibility and learn to make decisions at different levels.
- Stop consulting with others on any matter. Take responsibility for your actions and life. Make decisions, make choices yourself.
- Create a mental image of your own insecurities and try to transfer the image to paper. The method will allow you to see the “enemy” and look him boldly in the face. Talk to the figurative uncertainty, convince yourself that it is not needed.
- Choose a talisman that will become a symbol of confidence. Perhaps you already have a “lucky” suit or fragrance, bag or pen. Use or and choose new talismans. Look for options to use them and remember moments of confidence more often.
Self-confidence is a quality that can and should be developed. To do this, you should communicate more with people, not be afraid to take responsibility for life and make important decisions on your own. Confident people behave calmly and do not need approval or advice from others.
Strive for self-improvement, find interesting activities or hobbies to be an interesting conversationalist and an erudite person. Look at others with positivity and notice the joy and good moments around you.
Write down your thoughts on paper
Not all people have the opportunity to talk to someone about their problems. In this case, you can express thoughts and emotions on paper. Keep a diary, write down everything you feel and worry about. It is advisable to do this daily to develop a habit. In free form, it is recommended to list gratitude for what you already have, write down goals and obstacles that you have to face.
This method will help you clear your mind, establish a connection with yourself, and become aware of your own reactions to current events. By expressing your thoughts on paper every day, you will not allow them to “stagnate” in your consciousness and will not allow them to turn into negative ones. In addition, the diary will help you record and accept different emotional states and restore harmony with the world around you.
