Infertility is becoming more and more common among married couples. To identify the cause of problems associated with reproductive dysfunction, both men and women undergo a detailed examination. It turns out that ovulation is occurring, the tubes are passable, and there are no abnormalities in the spermogram. What then could be the problem? Psychological causes of infertility cannot be ruled out. Often they are not visible at first glance, but targeted consultation with a specialist in psychogenic disorders helps to objectively assess the situation.
The SM-Clinic Reproductive Health Center employs qualified psychologists, psychotherapists and psychiatrists who deal with infertility problems. Our doctors identify the causes, determine the dominant symptoms, establish a final diagnosis, help get rid of fears and create a comprehensive treatment program aimed at restoring disorders in the reproductive system. Such a multifaceted approach, in unity with gynecologists, reproductive specialists and andrologists, creates the conditions for successful conception, favorable pregnancy and successful birth of a child.
What is psychological infertility
Psychological factors of infertility are more often identified in women, but men are no exception. Often, clinics specializing in reproduction pay special attention to the physiological state of the spouses’ bodies - identifying diseases, assessing the anatomy, functional state of the ovaries and testicles, the structure and changes of the endometrium during the menstrual cycle, etc. In this case, the psychological state is either not given any attention at all, or the advice is minimal (try to relax, and pregnancy will occur, and the like). However, it is necessary to determine the psycho-emotional state of the spouses and, based on this, targeted treatment of psychological infertility. Only in this case can you achieve the desired result.
It is worth thinking about the psychological aspects of infertility if pregnancy does not occur against the background of complete physiological health or after successful correction of disorders in the functioning of the body identified in the spouses. In such a situation, there may be a psychological conflict expressed in psychosomatics. In other words, incorrect (anxious, tense) work of the higher parts of the nervous system triggers disturbances at the level of the reproductive system. However, these disorders occur at the cellular level and it is not possible to identify them using laboratory tests and instrumental diagnostic methods. To identify such problems, the involvement of a qualified psychologist and psychotherapist is required, and sometimes (in advanced cases) even a psychiatrist. These specialists conduct a specialized examination aimed at assessing the psychogenic and emotional components of the body’s functioning.
Causes of psychosomatic “syndrome” of infertility
Psychological infertility most often occurs in the age group over 30 years. The explanation for this is quite simple. As a rule, some success has already been achieved in their career, they have their own home, and the couple begins to think about becoming parents. However, lack of sleep, professional race and workaholism create the preconditions for psycho-emotional disorders. In addition, scientists identify a special category of people who tend to turn internal anxiety and experiences into somatic disorders. So, during severe emotional shocks, they feel pain in one or another organ (psychosomatic reaction).
The causes of psychosomatics and infertility are conventionally divided into the following categories:
- Stressful situations and tensions. Often couples think that the probability of conception in 1 menstrual cycle is 100%. However, in reality this is not the case. In an absolutely healthy couple who regularly have sexual intercourse, incl. When you fall on fertile days, the average chance of getting pregnant in the first cycle is only 30-40%. But not everyone knows about this and begins to get upset if conception does not occur after a month. In predisposed people, this triggers a chain of unfavorable psycho-emotional events. It is further aggravated by pressure from relatives who want to become grandparents as quickly as possible. It happens that the husband puts pressure on his partner, accusing her of inferiority. The development of events in this scenario can close a vicious circle and lead to severe depression. Chronic stress puts the body into survival mode, when only vital organs function relatively normally, and the reproductive system goes into a mode of functional rest and standby. In a stressful situation, the body is not ready for procreation - it would not die itself.
- Perfectionism. People who strive for the ideal and complete control of any life events, at one moment begin to realize that something is out of control. And this something is the inability to get pregnant within a short time. It is important to understand here that the timing directly depends on age. So, if a woman is under 35 years old, then conception occurs within 1 year of regular sexual activity without the use of contraceptives. In older patients (35+), this period is reduced to 6 months. A targeted examination should begin only after this time, if pregnancy has not occurred. Perfectionists want everything at once. And when this does not happen, a feeling of powerlessness comes, against the background of which internal tension develops. And again, an event circle of negative impact on the reproductive system is launched. Treatment of psychosomatic infertility in women is precisely aimed at breaking this circle and relieving unreasonable anxiety.
- Tense and uncertain relationships in the family, which are not always objectively outlined. Psychologists are confident that a child appears when both spouses are waiting for him; when everything is settled and they are ready to take care of a new family member. If a couple has disagreements and dissatisfaction with each other, then the body “blocks” the process of conception, as if sending a signal “sort it out among yourselves, and then think about procreation.” This situation often occurs when a woman is not confident in her man, experiences complexes about his behavior and appearance, and does not receive the attitude towards herself that she dreams of. A man can also unconsciously “block” the process of conception, for example, if there are disagreements with his wife, fear of divorce and possible separation from the child. These moments are not always clearly visible in a couple. Qualified help from a psychologist helps to place the right emphasis, identify problems and correct them, and the specialist works with both women and men simultaneously.
- Negative experience of relationships in your family of origin. For a woman, the role of the formed image of the mother plays a role, and for a man, the image of the father plays the role, that is, those social roles with which one will have to identify oneself after the birth of one’s own child. And here the relationship in childhood between mother and father, respectively, plays an important role. If a woman-future mother experienced aggression towards herself from her mother, there was no trust between them, there were frequent quarrels and complaints, then the formed image is often negative. A woman who dreams of becoming pregnant, however, cannot believe that she can become a good mother. This process “blocks” the process of conception on a subconscious level. A similar situation can arise for a man who does not imagine himself as a normal father, because... I couldn’t find contact with my dad. Another factor within this category that can lead to psychosomatic disorders in the reproductive system is overprotection on the part of parents who believe that their children are not yet ready for adulthood. “Not separating” from your family does not allow you to show independence, expressed in conscious parenting. This psychological block can only be identified and then eliminated by a qualified specialist.
- Inadequate self-esteem. If a woman does not feel feminine and attractive, then she is unlikely to feel organically in the role of a mother. A similar statement is true for men. Children appear in relationships that are harmonious - where spouses are close to each other, where trust, peace and love reign. To gain confidence and restore low self-esteem, it is not enough to change your wardrobe, work on your appearance and pump up your body. Yes, these are essential attributes. However, self-esteem is an internal perception of the world that comes from the subconscious. As a result of the qualified work of a psychologist, a woman gradually begins to like herself, and motherhood becomes the next stage of harmonious development. Psychologists say the same thing about a man - when he gains confidence in his own abilities, then fatherhood becomes conscious and necessary in order to move to the next, qualitatively new, level of his development. Let us repeat once again, children are born where everything is good.
- Fear of change. The appearance of a child in the family makes its own adjustments. However, one or both spouses may not be ready for such changes. They don’t want to lose the opportunity to travel, they don’t want to stop the movement up the career ladder that has begun, they don’t want to earn less... And these “don’t want” can be continued ad infinitum. In this process, it is important to understand that all these are temporary events, and after 1-1.5 years they can be removed, and if you really can’t wait to get back to normal faster, you can hire a nanny. Lack of understanding of such possibilities, combined with fear of change, gives rise to a psychological disorder that “blocks” procreation. The body is quite delicately structured and perceives internal signals well. And if one of the partners is not ready for parenthood, then, as a rule, this does not happen.
- Negative experience of seniority. Here we are talking about older brothers and sisters, who in childhood were entrusted with the responsibility of “looking after” younger relatives. This took up quite a lot of my own time and limited my freedom and leisure. Such negative experiences on a subconscious level “block” the repetition of such events. In the role of repetition, the psyche perceives the birth of its own children, who will have to be looked after, and therefore again have some restrictions. It is important that such perception occurs at the subconscious level, so a person is not even aware of the existing psychological problem.
- Idealization of parenthood. There are couples who want to see only the best and most pleasant in the birth of a child, and the negative aspects are not acceptable to them. They don't want to accept them. However, both positive and negative are “two sides of the same coin.” Therefore, reluctance to accept possible difficulties subconsciously pushes away pregnancy. A competent consultation with a psychologist will help identify such deviations.
Why can't I get pregnant the first time?
To begin with, it is worth understanding that conception is the attachment of a fertilized egg to the walls of the uterus. For this to happen, several events must coincide. An egg ready for fertilization must be released from the ovary into the uterus. The sperm must reach the egg through the genital tract and penetrate it (and not every sperm is capable of this either). And then the egg must attach to the wall of the uterus. Moreover, this should happen in a very short time, since the lifespan of both the egg and the sperm is limited to several days. It is worth remembering that not one or even two sperm take part in the “marathon”, but much, much more. However, they have to cover a huge distance (as if a person had to walk from Moscow to Voronezh). It is clear that only a few will be able to reach the target. This is why it is not always possible to get pregnant the first time. Most couples are able to conceive within 1 year of sexual activity without contraception. And this is considered the norm.
How to deal with psychological infertility?
How to deal with psychological infertility in women and men is a question that interests a couple facing childlessness. There is only one answer - only qualified help from a psychologist (psychotherapist or psychiatrist) will help overcome subconscious “blocks”, normalize the psycho-emotional state and create optimal conditions for internal harmony for the conception and birth of a child.
How to cure psychological infertility? The basis of treatment is psychotherapy. In mild cases it lasts several months, and in severe cases it lasts up to a year or even more. The pace of perception of new psychological attitudes is different for each person. Therefore, the psychologist focuses on objective data that allows one to assess how successful psychotherapy is and how much it allows one to achieve a deep and real result. If intermediate points are not reached, the specialist returns again and works through a new perception.
In the process of psychotherapy, several tasks are solved:
- awareness of the problem;
- recognizing that this is happening to you;
- determination by a specialist of options for exiting the current situation;
- starting to move in a new direction with new attitudes.
The best results come from individual work between a specialist and a couple. Of the group sessions, the most effective are psychotherapeutic groups in which all participants have a similar problem. Participants exchange experiences, achieved results and thereby help overcome fears. Individual work with a couple + visiting psychotherapeutic groups will bring the desired effect.
It is also important for the couple to carry out independent work, which consists of the following stages:
- Sex should not be perceived as only a way to conceive a child. This is a process that brings pleasure and helps you relax. There is no need to calculate fertile days, the main thing is to live with love, experiment and perceive your partner correctly (do not look for flaws in him, but focus on the best aspects).
- Don't forget to relax and give each other pleasant moments. Romantic dinner, going to a restaurant together, traveling, picnics in nature, etc. will help you relax, gain confidence in your partner and thereby move on to the next stage of your relationship, in which children should naturally appear, because you are ready for this.
- Talk to your partner. You should not have secrets and understatements. If something doesn’t suit you in everyday life, talk about it; if sex doesn’t bring you pleasure, talk about it and argue, offering solutions; if you want to change the situation and are tired, talk about it too.
- Draw yourself a portrait of your future child. But focus not only on pleasant moments. You must understand that the child cries, wants to eat, requires attention, etc. This way you will prepare yourself mentally and will perceive the situation adequately.
- Prepare for childbirth. Childbirth is a physiological process that is accompanied by some pain. But that's absolutely normal. In addition, modern obstetrics actively uses pain management methods. Therefore, you should not be afraid of childbirth, and such fears can also come from childhood, for example, mother’s stories. Discuss with your partner the possibility of having a joint birth if this option is acceptable and desirable to you.
A favorable psychological climate in the family will help you quickly find the joy of motherhood and fatherhood.
In difficult cases, in addition to the help of a qualified psychologist, hypnotherapy and even pharmacological therapy can be used. However, you can avoid the problem and contact a specialist in time.
Natural doubts
Are you afraid of natural childbirth, or afraid of surgical intervention? Remember that most panic plans (not related to pregnancy) are realized completely differently than your imagination, so fantasizing and winding yourself up is not the best idea. Even if the child is born by caesarean section, this sometimes happens. The main thing is that the birth is safe for the child and mother. To give confidence in this matter, it is useful to attend childbirth preparation groups together with your husband.
The fear of not being able to cope with a new role is familiar to everyone who has “got through” pregnancy. Long before the birth of a child, a woman begins to “try on” maternal care. And a common misconception here is to make demands on yourself based on the image of your own mother. After all, you are unique, you have your own ideas about care and education, dreams and dreams. Anxiety is unproductive, it takes away strength and depresses energy. Instead, read a book about baby development. When he is born, there will be much less time for reading.
In preparing for childbirth, it is important not only to follow the doctor’s recommendations, but also to overcome fears. Psychologists believe that awareness of the causes of fears and knowledge help to cope with problems, especially for women - “courageous” creatures, thinking and resilient.
Bottom line
Psychological infertility is a common syndrome among modern people, often engaged in intellectual work. The most important thing is to understand that the causes and risk factors for such disorders are not always on the surface, so they are not always visible to the average person. To identify such predictors, it is worth contacting a qualified psychologist. When to do this? The earlier the better. Some will wait “until the last minute”; others will immediately sign up for a consultation. Everything is individual. But the main thing to remember is that if, according to standard laboratory and instrumental examinations, no deviations in the functioning of the reproductive system are revealed, then the next step is to exclude psychological infertility.
The sooner such violations are identified, the less time it will take to correct them. Elimination of the psychological “block” of conception can be carried out using different methods. This is psychotherapy, hypnosis, pharmacological correction. The basis, of course, is step-by-step psychological therapy, which helps to understand the problem and eliminate it, creating a favorable background for conception.
There are qualified psychologists, psychotherapists and psychiatrists who help the couple understand the psychological problem and overcome it. Our clinic guarantees confidentiality, attentive treatment and high professionalism. Sign up for a consultation at SM-Clinic to take a step forward on the path to conscious and long-awaited parenthood!
Unsupported concerns
Does it seem to you that your belly is growing slowly or, on the contrary, that it is huge beyond its time? This is not a serious reason to worry. The main thing is that the ultrasound confirmed: the fetus is developing according to its due date. Pregnant women also worry that they are gaining weight rapidly or are malnourished. Eat a balanced diet and exercise enough (again with your doctor's permission) to keep your weight within normal limits.
When a baby pushes hard, it’s scary at first, but if the pushes are weak, perhaps even more scary. Indeed, both may indicate hypoxia. Share your concerns with your doctor; a toned uterus is a solvable problem. Just in case, study the so-called “method 10”, which is based on calculating the fetal heart rate. This way you will participate in the process not passively, but meaningfully. By the way, it is in your power to actively help the cub: walk in the fresh air every day, sign up for an oxygen cocktail course. Most likely, the child is simply showing his temperament. But if the reason is more complicated, remember that medicine can also deal with such problems. Hypoxia (if it is not chronic) can be corrected with medication, as a result of which the tension in the walls of the uterus is reduced and blood circulation is improved.
Childbirth is delayed, and this is fraught with the fact that the woman is daily absorbed in listening to herself and looking out for harbingers in fear of missing the beginning of the long-awaited process. On the one hand, vigilance does not seem to interfere, but one thing is clear - it is impossible to miss the birth, there is no turning back. Perhaps the day of birth was simply determined incorrectly, because pregnant women do not always know exactly the day of conception.
