Does it happen that you are disappointed by literally everything: your work, personal life, other people? Do you know when something that used to inspire, give positivity, and give uplift, has now become an unbearable burden that you want to get rid of? Are you often dissatisfied with yourself and resort to self-criticism, becoming like a prosecutor-prosecutor?
And in general, maybe your life has begun to resemble a disaster movie and there is nothing left to cling to and turn it 180 degrees? If you mentally answered “Yes!” to at least one of the listed questions, then, as they say, welcome to the topic!
In this article:
How to change your attitude towards yourselfHow to change your attitude towards your husbandHow to change your attitude towards workHow to change your attitude towards the situation and other people
How to change your attitude towards yourself
Photo by Maryia Plashchynskaya: Pexels
Let's start with the basics. It’s not just that they say: “If you want to change your life, start with yourself!”
There is a very cool verse, of course, you are not on the poetry platform to print it in full, but we also cannot ignore it, since in those short lines that will be presented to your review, there is a key meaning - you are unique:
You are a human being on this earth!
And whether you like it or not -
Your smile is the only one!
Your eyes are alone!
When there are a lot of complaints against yourself, under no circumstances start changes with criticism! Thus, you will only “bury” yourself under a pile of self-accusations and claims directed at you. It may come as news to you, but many people don’t really love themselves.
They start looking for love on the side, and then are severely disappointed when they are either rejected or things don’t go according to plan. But it’s all very simple: self-love is like an inexhaustible source of energy, strength, resilience, and positive attitude.
Just let’s immediately clarify an important detail: self-love should not be confused with narcissism. This is a completely different topic that has nothing to do with the stated details of the analysis.
Self-love means:
- understanding yourself, your needs, motives and goals;
- the realization that there are no ideal people, and literally everyone has both a “set of advantages” and a “set of shortcomings”;
- accepting oneself as a whole person;
- the ability to conduct internal dialogue, taking into account different roles, so that one can ultimately come to the truth. What is meant is that a person becomes a prosecutor, a lawyer, a judge, and a jury for himself.
That is, he does not adhere to any one role, let’s say he exclusively criticizes himself, or engages in self-praise. A person, first of all, tries to understand what is happening, which makes it possible to come to the right decision.
Self-love is the fundamental basis of change. If you learn to love yourself, then:
- stop comparing yourself to others and adapting to them;
How to change your attitude towards life?
- you will stop despairing when you are faced with the collapse of your plans, and you will perceive what is happening as a new experience in your store of knowledge about yourself;
- the world will no longer be perceived as black and white: all the colors of the palette will be present in it.
See how much you gain! All you have to do is love yourself! But you can ask a reasonable question: “It’s easy to say - love yourself! But it’s not clear how to do this?” In fact, everything is very simple:
- realize your uniqueness: someone like you is the only one in the entire universe! There are no more people like you!
- There are no perfect people. Even our face is not symmetrical.
- Be aware of your strengths and weaknesses, and focus on your strengths.
In general, within the framework of this article it is impossible to “go through” all the other points. But “Samka” has a sufficient number of articles on this topic that will become your assistants and teach you to love yourself!
Mechanical perception
The last thing you need to do to reset your reality is to get rid of mechanicalness. Many actions and phenomena are so familiar that we accept them automatically, without using cognitive mechanisms. The following techniques will help you get rid of this.
Rearrangement
The simplest thing is to change the interior of your home. If paintings hang in the same places for years and furniture never changes location, gradually they cease to exist for you.
The point of this method is not to make global renovations and change your home beyond recognition. It is enough to make very small adjustments (move a vase from a table to a shelf, buy a floor lamp, etc.) to awaken memory and attention. This will help you see something new in something that has been familiar for a long time.
Unfamiliar route
A similar technique is changing the usual route (even contrary to logistics). It is not necessary to return home from work along a new road every time. But from time to time you need to choose other paths to expand the boundaries of your reality. In addition, you can sometimes turn your established daily routine upside down.
How to change your attitude towards your husband
They say that love lives on, just think, only about three years! But did you know that this assumption was scientifically substantiated? It's all about the hormones that "play". And it turns out that if during the designated period people have not learned to understand each other, they, in fact, have nothing to “strengthen” their union in the form of:
- common interests
- ability to hear and understand each other
- personal qualities for which a partner is valued, etc.
Interest in each other is lost and gradually, step by step, the process of distancing begins.
When embarking on the path of changing your attitude towards your husband, answer yourself, only honestly, a number of questions:
- At what period did you begin to notice that your attitude towards your husband is no longer the same as it was before?
- What is it about your husband that irritates you?
- What is currently missing from your relationship?
- What personal qualities of your husband began to infuriate you?
It is also important to take into account that when changing your attitude towards your husband, you cannot make irritants dominant. That is, if you fix your attention on what does not suit you and make a barrier out of grievances and claims, you will, figuratively speaking, have no space for something good.
This refers to the positive qualities of your husband, or what personally attracted you very much (in a positive sense).
Our stories decide our fate
Photo: Depositphotos
“...I had a date planned with a guy from a dating site: we agreed to have dinner at a cafe. I waited at the entrance for more than 30 minutes, but he never showed up. I was pulled into the abyss of negative thoughts: he probably saw me from afar, he didn’t like me, and he ran away...
Suddenly, an old friend from college, whom I had not seen for almost ten years, approached me. He smiled and tried to start a conversation, but the cats were scratching at my soul. I pulled myself together with difficulty.
Within a few minutes we entered the same cafe. The evening flew by unnoticed: we talked, joked, laughed. And after dinner we exchanged numbers and on Friday we will have a real date...”
Similar stories happen to many. And this is an example of how negative events only bring us closer to real opportunities.
If a girl succumbed to a bad mood, she would not have met a friend with whom she was truly interested and comfortable.
How to change your attitude towards work
Probably, if not the majority, then certainly a sufficient number of people have experienced the fact that work is perceived as hard labor. And every morning begins with the thought: “I wish it was already the weekend!” But it is worth noting that quarantine has introduced a number of new changes. Some people have switched to remote work permanently. But just so you understand, this didn’t really affect their attitude towards work in general.
If we talk about what exactly needs to be done to change the attitude towards work, it is important to consider the key aspects of the issue:
- Are you satisfied with the salary?
- What are the working relationships within the team?
- Do you feel like you need to move further up your career ladder?
As you understand, these are the key questions that you should rely on. They are the ones who set the direction in which you should move. We will briefly go through each issue separately.
And so, if you are not satisfied with your salary, but at the same time you are not ready to leave your job, answer yourself honestly a number of questions:
- What exactly prevents you from changing jobs?
Hint answers: fear of losing stability; fear of making the wrong choice, that is, by changing one job, you can only worsen your situation; Lack of idea in what area you can count on a decent salary. As you understand, these tips are not affirmative, but they can give you the right idea.
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- If there is a bad working relationship in the team
We will not surprise you by saying that people can change jobs due to an unhealthy atmosphere in the team. It seems that the salary is satisfactory, and career growth is expected, and the work itself is interesting and the person likes it, but the stumbling block is the team itself, and because of this everything collapses.
It is very important to take into account the following nuances: the presence of interpersonal negative relationships between colleagues or one of the employees regularly, figuratively speaking, puts a spoke in the wheels, puts them in a bad light in front of their superiors and systematically creates a number of problematic situations.
Remember that it is important to start from exactly what is key for you. Having “diagnosed” all the problem areas of your particular situation, it will not be difficult for you to choose a suitable strategy.
- When it seems like you need to move on
It happens that a person has outgrown the place he currently occupies. He becomes cramped and uncomfortable. And in order to free yourself from the feeling of discomfort, you should expand your business space. But, as a rule, the obstacle is the feeling that there is no necessary knowledge and experience.
And what happens is this: instead of learning something new and gaining the necessary knowledge, a person simply remains in his old place, complaining about his villainous life. As they say, the one who walks can master the road. The message is that it is important for you to create a plan for your career growth.
Consider the following: it is important to break it down into small tasks, and not immediately set a high bar.
Calm your mind
In order to learn to control your own thoughts, you need to begin to become aware of them. Let's try?! Take a deep breath and try to clear your head of all thoughts. This way you create free space for something new, unusual and non-standard. Moreover, your mind is at rest - you are the one taking a break for its work.
Sometimes we load ourselves up with problems and failures so much that we cannot look at the world from a positive perspective. At such moments you need to stop! This could be a rest in silence, during which you must observe yourself and understand where your own thoughts are and where they are imposed from the outside. This technique should not be neglected. Just start and everything will work out!
How to change your attitude towards situations and other people
Of course, we won’t speak for everyone, but often people look at a situation through the filtering of their internal reality. This issue has already been discussed in detail in one of the articles “What is the internal and external mental reality of a person.”
After studying the material presented in this article, you will become familiar with key concepts and how to correctly navigate the inner world so that the outer one does not seem ominous and gloomy. And this, as you understand, directly helps to change your attitude towards an exciting situation.
The same applies to attitudes towards other people in general.
Fighting negativity
A healthy attitude towards life is the key to success and happiness.
People often tend to blame others for their failures. This is perhaps the first place to start the fight. Remember, if you have a bad attitude towards your work, then only you are to blame for this, since you could not, perhaps, get a better education or find a more worthy place.
Is your wife not perfect? This means that you did not have enough oratorical talent or intellectual abilities to find a common language with her and establish a common life together. Perhaps you hate people. Alas, the problem here lies with you.
Therefore, it is so important to learn to take responsibility for your life, and also try to change it for the better. Remember that you are the architect of your own destiny, therefore, you do not need to blame the state, laws and people around you for your failures.
