How to fight loneliness and emerge victorious from this battle

The famous writer, TV presenter, author of a number of books on the psychology of communication, Andrei Maksimov, created his own communication system, which not only helps people get rid of loneliness, but also changes their worldview. He suggests taking three steps towards others.

Is loneliness a problem or a voluntary choice? Psychiatrist and philosopher Rollo May writes: “Loneliness is necessary initially in order to be yourself...”. Many people think so. We love our solitude. Many of us revel in it, even cherish it. In Russia, the words “lonely” and “smart” are often perceived as synonyms.

Have you ever met those who sincerely believe that suffering from loneliness elevates them? Lonely means different, misunderstood, different... Haven’t you seen people with such an attitude towards loneliness? Is Rollo May, my deeply respected psychiatrist and philosopher, right? Let's not rush to answer. We will certainly return to May’s question later. For now, let’s think about a different question: what, strictly speaking, is loneliness?

Psychophilosophy believes that there are two types of loneliness:

1. Loneliness as rest.

There is, of course, nothing wrong with this. We live in a loud, noisy, densely populated world, where each of us needs moments of rest and silence. As one of the classics accurately noted: loneliness is a wonderful thing, but only if there is someone to whom you can tell about it. Loneliness as a vacation is also an opportunity to collect yourself, concentrate...

2. Loneliness as a tragedy that a person often, and even most often, creates himself.

One day a young lady in her early twenties came to me and delivered a monologue about how lonely she was, how no one understood her, how she sat by the window all day, smoking and increasingly realizing that she didn’t have a single close soul in the world. . My question: “Has she tried going outside and going to crowded places?” took her by surprise.

The world is designed in such a way that if you extend your hand to others, sooner or later they will certainly shake it. Definitely! However, if you don't extend your hand, then no one will know that you want to be shaken.

I am convinced: if a person is not old and healthy, loneliness is not his problem, but his choice. You shouldn’t judge him for this choice - everyone, as you know, chooses for themselves. The famous revolutionary Felix Dzerzhinsky said that he did not understand at all what you could talk about with a person who had never been in solitary confinement.

For all the obvious cynicism of this phrase, there is a certain reason for it. Why is being in solitary confinement torture? Not only because torture is any deprivation of liberty, this is understandable. However, someone who sits in solitary confinement is also cut off from an important source of energy—other people.

When a person confines himself alone, at some point he inevitably begins to suffer from the lack of energy that he should receive from other people. When I talk about this in lectures, I am almost always asked: “What about the hermit monks? What about Christ, finally, who went into the desert?

Hermit monks, just like the Savior, enter into some kind of relationship with God that we can never fully understand. There we are talking about the Divine Energy they feel, which only a select few can experience. We agree that people who suffer from loneliness in big cities bear little resemblance to hermit monks. For such people, psychophilosophy offers three steps out of loneliness.

Decide who you want to be

Using three adjectives, describe the kind of person you want to be.
Perhaps the image will change over time, but the very fact of its presence is very important: the selected qualities will serve as your value guide and the basis for decisions and actions. Perhaps some qualities will be relevant for a short time, for a specific task or goal. Others will stay with you for a long time. Decide for yourself. Adjectives don't have to be serious. You may have gone through difficult times, so cheer yourself up. Consider whether you want to be: positive, brave, kind, skillful, strong, motivated, calm, optimistic, wise, gentle, loving, resilient, generous, compassionate, open, effective, friendly, active, energetic, patient, happy, generous , passionate, disciplined, responsible, caring.

Act like the person you would like to become and you will eventually become that person. Be your own beacon and guide.

Hobby

How not to be lonely? A person who does what he loves will never be lonely. If you feel worthless, think about the activity that brings you the most pleasure. This could be some kind of applied art, music or sports activities. Choose an area of ​​activity that you are passionate about and in which it will be easy for you to realize your potential. Practice your chosen activity as often as possible and spare no effort and time to acquire new skills. A passionate person will never feel lonely.

Control your reactions

Very often you will have to mobilize all your internal resources to remain strong and courageous. You must admit that you cannot run away from unpleasant emotions or shrug them off. You must face them, acknowledge these feelings, understand them properly and learn to control them.[…]

It's important to remember this when people hurt your feelings, either intentionally or accidentally. They themselves are not always aware of the impact of their words and actions. At such moments, I try not to forget that people are only projecting their own attitude towards themselves onto me. By impulsively reacting to your interlocutor’s remark, you give him your strength. If I see that a person is really trying to hurt me, then I mentally raise a shield with a mirror facing him in order to protect myself and show him that now he is not talking about me, but about himself.

Of all the advice I have received in life, one of the most useful was the following: you cannot influence how people will treat you or change some situations, but you can control your reaction to them.

You cannot change the direction of the wind, but you can control your sails.

The same goes for living alone: ​​perhaps you would like to share shelter with another adult or have a family, but the reality is that there is no one nearby, so how joyful such a life will be for you will depend only on your attitude to the current situation .

As my own life experience shows, difficulties strengthen us. A grain of sand in a shell turns into a pearl. Therefore, perceive any troubles - and they will be - as veils, through which you will become stronger and wiser. And if you urgently need to throw out your seething emotions, take a dozen eggs and go for a walk in the forest; Throw the eggs into the trees with all your strength - and feel how satisfaction replaces anger!

How can a woman live alone?

It's simple - no way. You don't need to live in it. Women remain single much less often than men. This is understandable, their children will always be with them, and then their grandchildren will appear. But still, women who consider themselves lonely can be found even among mothers and grandmothers. How to deal with this?

• You can find a friend at 30 or at 60. The main thing is desire and aspiration.
• Travel. A lonely girl is not burdened with anything. Find travel companions on the Internet and hit the road.
• Engage in self-development. It's also never too late to start. Remember your weaknesses, start filling them with knowledge, skills and abilities.
• Use social networks, find old acquaintances through them: classmates, classmates. Renew lost communication.
• Get an interesting part-time job for your soul. One that will take up your free time and give you pleasure.

Only your positive attitude towards yourself and others can correct the situation. Move forward and don't cut yourself any slack.

Look down on loneliness

The mere fact that no one is around doesn't mean anything. The problem is the feeling of loneliness, which appears under different masks. It can be hidden behind sadness, apathy, indifference, fatigue, depression. It's tangible. It's real. It won't go away that easily. How to defeat him?

Understand that this is normal. Accept your loneliness and move on with your life. There is no escape from the feeling of loneliness. It is a fact. Everyone I talked to while working on the book touched on the topic of loneliness. Everyone experiences this feeling: some to a greater extent, some to a lesser extent. It's like you're driving through hilly terrain and occasionally descending into dark valleys. This feeling is expected. The main thing is not to linger in the lowlands, do not set up camp there.

You can fight the oncoming feeling of loneliness with moral and physical means. The first ones are much more important. You can, of course, physically surround yourself with people, but your sense of self has nothing to do with them. This is an internal attitude. There is no hiding from him; you will only run away from yourself. So accept it, come to terms with it and move on with it.

Accept that loneliness, like happiness, sadness, death, birth, love and delight, is an integral part of being human.

Resign yourself and move on with your life.

Types of loneliness

People have different meanings for the concept of loneliness. Let's look at what is most often meant when they say “I'm lonely.”

• Lack of a significant other

This is the most common situation. Everyone wants to love and be loved. If relationships with the opposite sex do not work out for a long time, a person begins to feel burdened by this situation. Women over 30 years of age experience this especially acutely. Closer to 40 years, the lack of personal life is perceived as a tragedy and causes despair.

Thoughts creep into your head that something is wrong with you, self-esteem drops, and complexes develop. Mixed with the feeling of loneliness is a feeling of uselessness. With such a set, it becomes even more difficult to arrange your personal life. At the age of 50, there may be no hope left to start a family, and a person loses the meaning of life.

• Lack of social circle

Some people suffer because they have no friends. They have no one to chat with about life, no one to go to the cinema with, no one to turn to for support. This type of loneliness is faced by everyone who moves to a new place of residence. An open and sociable person easily makes new contacts. But it can be very difficult for a shy, timid, insecure person.

If this is your case, read our article “How to Find Friends.”

• Misunderstanding from loved ones

If a person disagrees with the people around him, he may feel lonely even in large groups. For example, when he is a vegetarian, and everyone around him is meat-eaters.

• Existential loneliness

When experiencing an existential crisis, a person is faced with a feeling of causeless loneliness. He suddenly becomes acutely aware of his isolation from the rest of the world. This realization also comes during a serious illness, when a person realizes that he does not have long to live.

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Replace "loneliness" with "solitude"

Paul Tillich wrote: “Language wisely separates two sides of one phenomenon. There is a word for loneliness that means suffering without others. And there is a word, “solitude,” which means bliss without others. Turn away from loneliness with its criticism and isolation. Turn to face its more welcoming brother - solitude.

Solitude is closer to a conscious decision and allows you to maintain your self-esteem. Solitude is a personal choice, while loneliness is a condition imposed by circumstances.

An old Buddhist saying goes, “A tenth of an inch is the difference, and heaven and earth are separate.” Solitude and loneliness are also separated by a tenth of an inch, but it is crucial for our sense of self.

When you live alone, you have to rethink your worldview, and this is not all the changes. Don't even think about considering living alone as a prison sentence that you have to serve. Change your perspective. Reframe the concept. Solitude is not a stone around your neck, but a protective capsule. A means to achieve a goal. Learn to draw strength from it - and you will be rewarded.

How to deal with loneliness?

This is the most common mistake - to resign yourself to the current situation. The priorities and concepts here are incorrect. We must learn not to resign ourselves, but to accept our position and draw conclusions that will push us to the right decisions.

These solutions should be something like this:

1. You need to find an environment that will accept you and where you will feel comfortable. To do this, we begin to actively attend festivals of interest and other public places.
2. Engage in psychotherapy yourself or call a psychologist for help.
3. Realize that you are not alone. Look around how many people there are who think like you. There are many of them, and many and loneliness are two opposite concepts.
4. Believe that no one will come suddenly. To have a loved one in your home, start working on it. Drive away all fears and complexes.
5. Learn to take advantage of it. Many people really want to be alone with themselves, but do not have the opportunity.

Modern loneliness is an independent choice and that’s the only way. Nowadays it is very difficult to remain unintentionally lonely, and this is the opposite problem, especially for people living in big cities.

Happiness at will

“If you want to be happy, be happy,” said Tolstoy. He knew something about life even before scientists began to seriously study the problem of happiness, and authors raced to write their practical guides for those who wanted to find the joy of life.

The world is as you see it. So if you feel like you missed your chance or that life has treated you unfairly, that is your reality. I'm not saying you should think positive thoughts with a fake smile on your face, but research (and common sense) indicates that a positive inner attitude leads to positive outcomes. In the morning, as soon as your feet touch the floor, think about how you would like to live the coming day.

Experts have proven that feeling happy contributes to success, and not the other way around.

Powerful destiny spell

They tell fortunes at dawn. They start on Wednesday with the first rays of the sun. You need to do this:

1. Get up with the first before dawn.
2. Wear a white nightgown down to your toes.
3. Remove decorations. The hair is simple, without hairpins or ribbons.
4. Stand by an open window that faces east.
5. Read the spell three times.
6. Repeat for a week.

They charm fate from a lonely fate with the following text:

“Every blade of grass rejoices at the dawn, the forest beast waits for it, the bird greets it with singing. Dawn answers everyone. Whoever asks her, she will not ask for money. You, early dawn, lead to me dear, handsome, strong, loving and beloved. So that the soul grows with him and rises to heaven. Let him walk down the aisle with him so that loneliness ends. Let us be a couple all our lives, not be broken by an evil word or heavenly punishment. Amen!".

Increase your power with a totem

We single people are like aerial acrobats in a circus, performing without a safety net. Criticism and sarcastic comments can throw us off balance in no time, and I am continually surprised and saddened by the number of them. Some come from strangers, some from friends and enemies pretending to be friends. Most of these people do not know what it means to live alone, and do not even suspect the extent to which their statements hurt us.

Okay, don't worry, life goes on. Without false optimism, I am sure that difficulties strengthen us and give us the opportunity to learn something, even if it may take many years to master the lesson. Perhaps our abusers are learning something too.

We must become thick-skinned. Wrap yourself in an imaginary protective cloak and let it ward off all grievances.

I learned resilience from three animals and began to consider them my totems. These are wild dog, lioness and bison.

Wild Dog Solo

As a child, I was given the book Solo by Hugo van Lawick. It tells about a wild dog puppy. After the death of her brothers in a fight with other dogs, Solo is left alone. She joins someone else's pack and tries her best to keep up with it. Strangers ignore her, but she does not give up. For me, this dog with sparkling eyes and torn ears from numerous fights is the embodiment of resilience. Her story serves as an example for me.

Lioness

During that period of my life, when the divorce process was going on, I accidentally came across one image that made a deep impression on me. On a bas-relief in the British Museum I saw an Assyrian lioness: wounded, she continues to fight. Now I see myself as a lonely lioness, restored to strength, restrained and proud.

Buffalo

Did you know that during a snowstorm, of all living creatures, only bison instinctively turn around and go straight into the heart of the storm, knowing that this is the shortest path to salvation. Perhaps I'm too carried away by anthropomorphism, but it is impossible not to fall in love with an animal that rushes towards difficulties without blinking an eye.

Solo's tenacity, the lioness's desperate resistance, and the buffalo's ability to face difficulties remind me that I should not give in to the negativity of pessimists, spiteful critics and imaginary friends.

Communicate more with parents

You will never feel lonely if your parents, brothers or sisters live in this world. How to stop being lonely? Improve your relationships with your family. After all, your family is the people who love you for the very fact of your existence. Mom always adores her children, no matter what they are. Fathers also love their children, and people always have close family ties with brothers and sisters. Therefore, do not neglect communication with loved ones. Visit your parents as often as possible and share your experiences and ideas with them. Tell your loved ones about how you are doing and what you are doing. Parents always want to be aware of the lives of their children, so they will listen to your stories with great pleasure. A family atmosphere, good mood from relatives and a warm welcome will help warm your soul and feel that you are not alone in this world. Therefore, do not be discouraged if at the moment you do not have many friends and a loved one nearby. As long as your parents are alive, you are one of the happiest and most beloved individuals in the world.

Turn your lonely life into a project

Why not write a book about your single life story or document it? What helps you? What advice would you give to other people in the same situation? What challenges have you faced and what lessons have you learned from them? How did the process of changing your sense of self from “I’m alone” to “I’m on my own” develop?

Many women have written about their experiences of secluded life, including Joan Anderson (A Year by the Sea), Anne-Morrow Lindbergh (Gift of the Sea), and Alix Cates Shulman (Drinking in the Rain). Read it. Perhaps you will find something inspiring in these books.

A full life alone is an internal attitude that cannot be formed on its own. Explore new experiences as if you were in a strange land, and draw a map of your life alone, as if it were an island. What is good about this island, and where are the problems? What beauties are you proud of? What corners have not yet been explored?

Fight your complexes

Do you understand why you can love yourself? Think about what complexes your parents and teachers put on you. A person who carries many complexes behind his back will not be able to live a full life. It will seem to a person that others see all his shortcomings. Get rid of feelings of inferiority. You need to write down all your complexes on a sheet, and then work through each of them. If you can’t do it yourself, you can contact a psychologist. An experienced specialist will help you understand yourself and find harmony in your soul.

Can't figure out how to cope with feelings of loneliness? Try to develop only positive qualities in yourself. Think about what character traits attract others. Everyone likes cheerful, sociable people who know how to present themselves. Become a person with whom others will be interested.

Be kind to yourself

We women are prone to harsh self-criticism, and it seems to me that living alone exacerbates this quality of ours. Sometimes I feel like the central mast of a circus big top - when I have to be responsible for everything at once - and I don’t always cope with this load successfully. We demand too much from ourselves, and when we don't meet our own expectations, it significantly undermines our self-esteem.

Not everything is going smoothly for everyone. So don't think about others. Congratulate yourself on the progress you have made and do not be afraid of what remains to be accomplished. Everything will work out.

Each of us has our own path, and it is different for everyone.

Strong conspiracy

An assistant is needed for this ritual. Ask a woman older than you, whom you trust, to help. On the full moon, a circle is drawn on the floor with ordinary chalk. The girl should be dressed in a snow-white outfit that covers her ankles. Let down your hair and remove jewelry. Seven church candles are lit in the room. The girl is placed in the center. Next, you need to go around it three times, without stepping over the line, reading the following words:

“The Lord's servant (name) cross on the cross, in all its beauty, through the gate into the road right from the threshold. On her way there is a cross along the roads. There the stone is a riot of masonry and white as chalk. Covered with red and linen, the shine is hidden night and day. The young women are sitting on a stone, watching the road with keen eyes. Whoever passes by pays tribute to them. The girls are cunning and wise. Gifts are measured out to each according to his deeds. The Lord's servant (name) is walking past. It gives away its stamp and melancholy. Loneliness appears on the stone, and behind it the torment and pain go away. Amen!".

After this, you need to go into the circle, take the girl by the hand and go out together. Wash the girl's face with holy water. Extinguish the candles and wrap them in the robe that the beauty was wearing during the ceremony. Place the bundle under the beauty's bed.

Find your ikigai - your purpose

The Japanese have a concept called ikigai - the reason that makes them get up in the morning. This is a person’s healthy craving for what fills his life with meaning; in other words, the goal. Finding it means finding the direction of movement; it's like marking a destination on Google Maps.

If you don’t set yourself such global goals as finding a higher goal or calling, if you’re not at all interested in that, don’t worry. Not everyone is born for a great mission.

There are many threads of experience in our lives that point the way to our goal. It happens that it is already known, but perhaps it is hidden on the periphery or in the past. Look into the depths of your consciousness and search hard. The goal does not have to be global and great. The main thing is that it suits you. She will be found; and you don't have to chase it too hard. Life constantly talks to us and gives us hints. Our job is to listen.

Preliminary work

It is necessary to prepare for any ritual. Let's just say a few words about how to get ready to work with a black program. A traffic jam in the aura prevents you from establishing a love relationship. This state is oppressive, which prevents you from opening up to people and causing an attraction of hearts. Therefore, you need to remove all experiences from your thoughts. These emotions themselves reproduce the walls caused by the negative influence of the sorcerer. The conspiracy removes the traffic jam and restores destiny.

It seems difficult to stop bad thoughts and get them out of your head. Do the following before cleaning:

1. Watch your favorite movie or read a book that evokes an emotional response.
2. Listen to great music.
3. Spend more time in nature and admire its views.
4. Prepare yourself the dishes that you especially love.

In general, you need to pamper yourself. It is useful for women to buy a set of expensive lingerie and use it to perform magic. This is a small boost to your self-confidence. And you need to approach the ritual in a state of inspiration, with hope in your heart. By the way, prayer helps many people. If you are one of the believers, strengthen your strength by talking with your Guardian Angel.

Attention: avoid communication with “evil friends”. They complain, criticize, push to despair. Avoid intoxicating substances: alcohol, cigarettes.

Be your own good company, encourager and supporter.

You are your own team. One person team. You spend more time with yourself than anyone else, so try to be your own good company. I'm lucky. I feel good alone with myself. But if everything is wrong with you, how can you improve the situation?

People rarely compliment or praise others, so fill that vacuum yourself. Don't wait for someone to tell you "well done" or "great job." Pat yourself on the back systematically. You do not lose heart and move on - this is already worthy of praise.

Find your soulmate

How to stop feeling lonely and unwanted? One of the good ways to get rid of inner emptiness is to fall in love. Find the right person and start a romantic relationship with him. Some might say that meeting your soulmate is not as easy as it seems. If a person purposefully searches for his love, then he will cope with the task very quickly. But before you start looking, you need to understand who you are looking for. Describe your ideal soul mate in every detail. You need to know exactly the type of person, as well as the ideal internal filling of your other half. When you know exactly who you should be looking for, you can figure out exactly where you need to meet someone. If you are looking for a creative spirit, then go to an exhibition or a concert. If you want to find an intellectually developed person, try going to the Bar Olympics.

But you don’t always need to look for a soul mate somewhere outside your social circle. Sometimes people cannot see the pretty person who is nearby. Therefore, before you begin your search, once again carefully think about all the representatives and representatives of your immediate social circle.

Slam the door in the face of all negativity

If you are tormented by negative thoughts, do not brush them aside, but acknowledge them. You can even give them names if it helps: “you are pettiness”, “you are impatience”, “you are tired and frustrated”. Now, with Nora's determination, slam the door in their face so they don't ruin your life anymore.

Instead of complaining about how and why you ended up in a particular situation, find the nearest reflective surface and say out loud what you are going to do about the situation.

Of course, anything happens in life. I don't live in a fantasy world and don't wear rose-colored glasses. My heart still shrinks a little from the sound of my “thank you” to the cashier at the supermarket, said in a voice hoarse from a whole day of silence. And sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t sleep from worry. I miss the calming feeling of having someone nearby who I can rely on.

The thoughts in your head are not idle, and negativity always does its dirty work. They whisper in your ear: “You are old. You're ugly. You're a loser. You are fat. Is it possible to love you? What good are you to the world?” Women are very strong by nature, and it is doubly offensive that we voluntarily become hostages of these vile voices in our heads.

Fight them as best you can, do not succumb to their corrupting influence. We must deprive them of their strength, otherwise they will take root and bloom magnificently. Don't let yourself get bogged down in habitual dissatisfaction with everyone and everything: this is an emotional dead end. Pull yourself out of the swamp, shake off the dirt and move on. You choose your thoughts.

Attend social events

Where do you feel connected with people? At events that are created for people to meet and communicate. How not to be lonely? It's very simple, attend social events. Exhibition openings, concerts, charity evenings, parties and presentations of fashion houses are events where people come to see others and show themselves off. If you want to make new and interesting acquaintances, then you need to boldly go to some social event. Such meetings usually take place in beautiful places, where you are offered to taste delicious dishes and enjoy great music. You can get all this completely free of charge if you arrange to receive an invitation in advance.

Act as if...

The words we choose significantly influence our sense of self, our approach to many things, and the outcome of our actions. The more often you say “I want...” or “I need...”, the less likely you are to get what you want. Instead, act as if everything has already happened and you are reaping the benefits. Replace “I would like to be successful” with “I am successful” and “I would like to have a job that I like” with “I have a great job” and behave accordingly. You will immediately notice dramatic changes in your attitude towards the world. This inner mindset is much more likely to lead you to success.

I am confident in the effectiveness of this technique, because I myself was forced to look for a full-time job when I was already over fifty, and everything worked out. Now I have to do it again. A harmful inner voice whispers: “I’m too old, no one will hire me.” I understand that such prophecies turn into a disaster, so I consciously changed my internal attitude to “Now I bring a lot of benefit to my clients. I am calm about my abilities, confident in them, I have significant valuable experience behind me.”

However, sitting at home, doing positive auto-training, reading “The Secret” and eating crumpets, I’m unlikely to find a job. To do this, I have to shake up my connections and send out a resume with a compelling cover letter. Now I approach this task with confidence and act as if...

If you can’t act on the “as if…” principle, try rephrasing the problems in a positive, pragmatic way, look at them as problems for which you simply need to find solutions.

• It was: “I can’t afford this.” It became: “How can I make it so that I can afford it?”
• It was: “I can’t.” It became: “How can I do it?”
• It was: “I find this difficult.” It became: “I’m working in this direction.”
• It was, “I should have.” It became: “I will do it.”

In general, the idea is clear.

Find friends

People who do not know how to be faithful comrades suffer from loneliness. If you are always betrayed and abandoned by everyone, this does not mean that the problem is in those around you. If you cannot find a common language with people, the problem should be found in yourself. How does loneliness manifest itself? The psychology of people who do not have friends is very simple - these people do not know how to trust others and are afraid of getting close to people. In order to feel better and be able to socialize, you should find friends. Take a closer look at your colleagues or classmates. People who are engaged in activities similar to you have common interests with you. Therefore, it will be easy for you to find common topics of conversation. Feel free to approach people and start a conversation with them. If you don't become more social, you will never be able to get rid of loneliness. Once you are able to get close to someone around you, start working on the issue of your trust. Ask the person to help you with something. A person who treats you well will gladly want to please you. Positive experiences with helping will help you understand that there are people in this world who treat you well and love you. And if there is one such person, it means there will be several more.

Stepanova's conspiracy

The Siberian healer gave a lot of advice to people suffering. She told me how to remove the black crown. You need to go to the countryside, where the nature is pure, the fields are wide or the forests are rich. There you perform a simple but effective ritual. Take off your shoes and stand on the blessed earth with your bare feet. Turn your face to the east. Breathe in the life-giving air. Wait for a gust of wind. So tell him:

“Wind-breeze, don’t hang at my feet!

Fly towards the east, gather matchmakers before the deadline.

Whoever walks along the road, entangle his feet, the wind!

Let him walk in my direction, let his heart choose with his heart!

What has been said cannot be returned, the passions of loneliness block the way. Amen!".

Feeling empty and lonely

A possible reason for feelings of emptiness and loneliness is a lack of skill in interacting with other people. A person doesn’t know how to communicate and that’s all. There are many reasons for this, from basic insecurity to personality disorders due to which the skill was not learned in childhood. The reasons may also include some cultural characteristics of the region of residence. For example, a person lived for a long time in a small village far from other settlements and cities. In such a village, everyone knows each other and doesn’t really bother with such complex things as personal boundaries. So our character, after moving to a larger city, meeting new people, does not burden himself with the need to respect their boundaries, without embarrassment he asks about everything, from the first minute gives friendly pats on the back and does not hesitate to touch other people’s things. It is very likely that such a person will be lonely until he learns to behave a little differently.

Another cause of loneliness may be perfectionism. A little unexpected, but it's true. Ideal or not at all. This motto also applies to the selection of social circles. Everyone you know must be demigods, supermen and nothing else. And if at the first contact they somehow manage to throw dust in the eyes of a perfectionist, then with further communication, all the imperfections appear clearly, and there is no point in communicating with such people.

Soul support

This ritual was previously performed by mothers for their daughters. And now it is recommended to do this if a beauty has been around for a long time. You can also read it for a friend, but only to one who is younger in age. Technique:

1. Buy honey at the market without change. Also buy a poppy.
2. Wait until the moon appears in the sky.
3. Light two red candles, placing them on the sides of the container with honey.
4. Add a pinch of poppy seeds.
5. Stir with a wooden spoon or spatula while reciting the spell. You need to say it seven times in a row.
6. Give the sweet to the girl for whom the cleaning is being done. She must eat it within a month.

Text:

“As the heavenly dawn is desired for people, as a bright star in the dark sky is long-awaited, as honey is dear to bees, so the Lord’s servant (the girl’s name) is sweet and desired by grooms and matchmakers. Love will come with honey and call her to marry from her parents' house. Amen!".

You know, many people suffer from a lack of sincere love. Sometimes we don’t even suspect that our loved ones or friends are looking for magical ways to cleanse a lonely seal. Share information with them (social media icons below) and do a good deed. It will definitely return to fate with joy. Good luck!

The main reasons for female loneliness - so why am I always alone?

• Shyness Previously, it was believed that modesty makes a girl beautiful. And many parents raised their daughters in accordance with this opinion. This is how a generation of indecisive women grew up, literally afraid of men. Excessive modesty does not contribute to communication, and the less a woman communicates, the fewer potential suitors around her.
• Many ladies wait their whole lives for a prince on a white horse. Having created an ideal man in their minds, they cannot find its analogue in reality. And too high demands ultimately lead to loneliness.
• Inaccessibility A beautiful, sociable, intelligent, but overly serious lady scares men. They are even afraid to talk to such a woman.
• Infantility Many women expect a man to appear on his own, appear on the horizon and take her to her dream. Infantile women do not take any action to find a companion. In addition, they expect that the husband will arrange her happiness for the rest of her life. But this happens too rarely.
• Difficult character It is no secret that relationships involve compromises. It is a rare man who can get along with an iron woman who does not make concessions.
• Full dedication to work A woman is first and foremost a wife and mother, as nature willed. If a career woman does not have enough time for her family and her husband, then the likelihood that she will remain single is close to 100%.

Conspiracy to get rid of the widow's share

There is a special ritual for single women who have lost their spouse. It is recommended for older women. It is not very suitable for young girls. But just right for divorced or real widows. Methodology:

1. On Thursday, during the waxing moon, take a basin and a mug of water.
2. Wash the front door handle well in advance.
3. As the moon rises, place the basin so that water flows into it along this grip.
4. Pray for a happy destiny.
5. Pour water and catch it in the basin. Say a spell.
6. Immediately, without leaving, wash yourself from the basin.
7. Dry yourself with your underwear (the reverse side of the clothing that is closest to your body).
8. Throw the water over the threshold, be sure to onto the ground.

Cleansing spell:

“Just as all people grab the doorknob, so men reach out to me, the Lord’s servant (name). A respectable groom will enter the door, but will not go anywhere else. There is no way he will part with me, he will remain in the mansion forever. Amen!".