According to statistics, depression develops less often in men than in women, but its manifestations can be more dangerous. Men in a depressed state often make attempts to commit suicide, and, unfortunately, these attempts are usually realized.
In order to prevent the death of a loved one, a woman needs to be especially attentive to him during difficult periods of life. Why does the disease develop, how to deal with it, and what to do if a man shows signs of a depressive disorder? , a psychiatrist and psychotherapist at the MEDSI clinic on Leninsky Prospekt, spoke about this .
Symptoms of depression in men
Psychiatry does not divide depression into male and female. This condition manifests itself equally in all people, regardless of gender and age. Signs of depressive disorders are formulated by the international classification of diseases. And if you notice one or more of them in a loved one, you should be wary.
It’s worth paying attention if a man has stopped enjoying those things that gave him pleasure before. For example, he happily went fishing, but now he refuses to do it. Or if he is increasingly in a bad, depressed mood, he tries to leave the house as little as possible, and in his free time he prefers not to get out of bed.
In addition to the external signs of depression in a man, there are also internal ones. “Boys don’t cry” - this is how men are raised in modern society. But precisely because of this, all the internal experiences that torment a person and increase melancholy are not brought out. Men are not used to discussing problems with their wives and girlfriends. And with depression, multiple negative thoughts may arise:
- about personal or professional insolvency;
- about the lack of prospects in life;
- feeling of guilt.
Against this background, attention decreases and intellectual functions deteriorate. The person becomes distracted and cannot remember important information or concentrate on important work. There is also a decrease in sexual desire for the spouse, sleep is disturbed, and appetite usually decreases.
pixabay.com/
Convince you to see a psychologist
Some people suffering from depression do not know that they can turn to a specialist, it simply does not occur to them. Some of them do not believe in their depression, while others do not believe in the help of psychotherapists. In all these cases, it can be shown that not only he, but also you, his loved ones, suffer from the patient’s condition. Try using arguments like this: “We are all very worried that you are feeling so bad and want you to get better quickly. There is a specialist who will speed up your recovery. If you don’t want to go to him for your own sake, then at least go for our sake. It really hurts us to see you in this state.”
Being around someone who suffers from depression can be very difficult, especially if you care about that person.
Explain to the person what his condition looks like from the outside. Depending on the symptoms, he may behave irritably, aggressively, cry often and not talk to anyone - it is important to tell and describe all this to him, since the patient is not always able to see the whole picture. Perhaps this will convince him that something serious is happening to him, and he will agree to seek help from a specialist.
Causes of the disease
These manifestations become a “marker” of processes that occur inside the body. Scientists have not yet figured out the causes of depressive disorders, but they agree that dozens of biologically active substances in the body are involved in them.
Clinical depression in men is not just a bad mood. This is a disease that affects the hormonal and immune systems, but mostly affects the functioning of the brain, as it disrupts the production of neurotransmitters responsible for emotions, reaction speed and performance.
Some external “push” usually leads to the development of depression:
- problems at work;
- dismissal;
- dissatisfaction with personal relationships;
- lack of career growth and financial well-being.
At different ages, the reasons may be different, but the processes occurring in the body of a man at 30 years old with depression do not differ from those at 40 and 50 years old. An external push triggers a cascade of biochemical reactions in the body, and it is not always possible to stop them on your own, without the help of a specialist.
pixabay.com/
Understand, accept and do not devalue
Do not under any circumstances blame a person for his condition and do not persuade him to pull himself together. This will not help, but will only worsen his condition. After each such remark, the patient feels that he is not understood and not accepted, and at this moment he so needs your support. He may begin to close himself off from you, withdraw into himself and plunge into even greater loneliness. The biggest problem for people with mental illness is that those around them do not understand or accept their condition. When a person gets sick and his loved ones do not support him, this drives him into even greater loneliness and hopelessness.
A person may become depressed due to some negative event in his life, such as failure at work or in a personal relationship. In a state of depression, he begins to perceive even neutral events as unsuccessful, and your task is to help him not concentrate on this. Explain that it is completely normal if in his current state something does not work out for him, because he is not in the mood and he is sick. But next time, when he has more motivation and strength, he will definitely do the same.
Test for symptoms of depression in men
Psychiatrists diagnose the disease and determine its severity. It is difficult to make a diagnosis on your own, as well as to develop treatment tactics. Despite the fact that there are enough tests on the Internet for diagnosing depressive conditions and various scales, this method alone is not enough to clarify the diagnosis.
“In psychiatry, a diagnosis is established based on a person’s current mental state, life history and examination using tests,” comments psychiatrist Christina Wirth. “A diagnosis can only be made based on a combination of factors.”
At the appointment, the specialist evaluates the person’s behavior, clarifies the life history, causes and duration of the depressive state, and offers to fill out a test as an additional diagnostic method.
For self-completion, the patient uses the Aaron Beck test, where you need to select answers from groups of statements based on your condition over the past week. Another well-known test for diagnosing depression is the Hamilton Scale; it is completed by a doctor based on a professional assessment of the patient’s condition and behavior. This test is not suitable for self-diagnosis.
Stay close
If a person who is depressed does not live alone, then his family and loved ones should continue to lead normal lives and not show with all their appearance that there is a sick person in the house. For a person with depression, this will mean that life goes on and that they are expected to return to normal life. If a person lives alone, friends can visit him in turn. This is exactly what is required in the process of cognitive behavioral psychotherapy - the specialist helps the patient literally create a schedule of meetings with friends so that he spends as little time as possible alone. At the same time, it is not at all necessary to force him to sit in a chair in front of you and read a book to him. Observe his condition and decide how best to spend his time. Sometimes it’s enough just to talk or sit on a bench, but you can also go to the movies or play sports together. The less a person with depression becomes self-absorbed and the more they are in the company of other people, the faster recovery occurs.
How can a man get out of depression on his own?
Despite the fact that depression was included in the international classification of diseases quite a long time ago and was recognized by the world medical community as a dangerous disorder, many people, especially in Russia, still do not take it seriously.
They think it will go away on its own, compare it to laziness, or accuse a person suffering from a depressive disorder of being spineless and irresponsible. And this is a huge risk, since without proper help, mental problems will only get worse. And against their background, the accompanying “responses” of the body will develop.
pixabay.com/Pexels
“Since depression is based on an imbalance of bioactive substances, hormones and even the immune system, it increases the risk of dangerous diseases,” says Christina Wirth. “Against a background of depression, the risk of cardiovascular diseases and infectious diseases increases.”
It is important to take into account that you can get out of depression on your own only if it developed against the background of a problematic situation and at some point the problem was resolved. This improves a man’s emotional state and helps him regain his zest for life. If the problem is “prolonged”, depression develops over a long time, and it becomes impossible to get rid of it on your own.
After all, physiological processes are added to the psychological disorder, hormonal imbalance occurs, and the production of neurotransmitters in the brain is disrupted. And to correct the condition, the help of a specialist is needed. Otherwise, improvements may be temporarily observed against the background of the disease, but depression will regularly return and intensify for no apparent reason.
“Self-healing is possible with mild depression,” comments the doctor. — The maximum you can do on your own is to find psychological literature, self-help manuals, read them, try to work with yourself. But there must be a will for this, there must be faith in one’s own strength, and the aid itself must be professional.”
pixabay.com/
Make good jokes
When a person is depressed, sarcasm and cynicism may be perceived more painfully and sensitively than usual. Even if this person is your friend with whom you have been joking like this all your life, during a period of depression it is better to slightly change the format of communication. The fact is that one of the symptoms of depression is constant self-flagellation and painful self-criticism, and sarcastic jokes can be taken seriously. But you can and even need to joke and laugh kindly. Through humor you can show that you support the person, that you are nearby. And even if it seems a little superficial to him, he will feel your sincere support and desire to help, and will perceive it with gratitude. It won't cure his depression, but it will ease his suffering.
Rule six: don't forget about yourself
If an old friend of yours is depressed, it will probably be enough to call him sometimes and ask how you can help. But if your loved one gets sick - a husband, a parent, a child - then you will need a lot of moral and emotional strength to help him get out. Depression doesn't go away in a day. It may take weeks or months for symptoms to begin to subside, during which time your loved one will feel like a shadow of their former self. He will not cope with banal household duties, because it is difficult to even get out of bed, he will be aggressive and pessimistic, his whole world will be painted black - and do not think that he will hide this from you. He won't have the strength to do it. Therefore, even cute cats from social networks will make him think about imminent death and torment. And all this time you should be that ray of light that looks through the dense forest of his thoughts. So that the ray does not go out and you do not lose your temper, you need to draw positivity from somewhere. Find your source of energy - and be sure to take time to recharge. If you like to dance, go to discos; if you enjoy drawing, start going to the studio. Connect with other people and do things that bring you joy. This is usually very difficult for loved ones of people suffering from depression. Because as soon as they leave the threshold of the house, a feeling of guilt begins to torment them. “Here I go to have fun, and my husband sits and looks at the wall... What a terrible woman I am!” Therefore, it is very important for you to instill in yourself the idea that it is not just you who need to enjoy life - it is vitally important for your depressed loved one. If there is no electricity in the house, your laptop will not charge. If you don't have the energy, your loved one won't be able to get the amount of attention and care they need.
Photo - Lori's photo bank
Take care of yourself
Being around someone who suffers from depression can be very difficult, especially if you care about that person. You can become a major irritant for him, and it will take a lot of patience to continue to be there. Helping is very important, but you shouldn’t forget about yourself. Sometimes it is difficult to leave a depressed person at home alone because of the feeling of guilt towards him. But it is very important to give yourself time to get out, get some fresh air, change your surroundings and see friends. All this is necessary to maintain your psychological health and continue to be useful to the patient. If you have the opportunity to see a psychotherapist, that’s great. A specialist will help you not only normalize your own condition, but also tell you how to behave correctly with a specific person suffering from depression.
- Depression
