Dejection is a state of mental and physical parameters that belongs to the asthenic pole of human self-perception, which is characterized by the presence of an apathetic mood and depression. Complete despondency is characterized by an unwillingness to do anything and a lack of any interest in one’s own situation and life, is accompanied by a strong loss of strength, and is a concomitant element of depressive disorder in the affective sphere.
Being close in its meaning and feeling of grief, melancholy, melancholy, despondency is not synonymous with them and reflects greater indifference to what is happening. During grief, a person feels pain and loss, the importance of who (or what) he is grieving for; with melancholy, the emotional sphere is captured by sadness, while with despondency, practically nothing touches the human soul. Such an apathetic and insensitive state can lead to the development of diseases of the psychoneurological spectrum, cause suicidal thoughts and attempts, in the hope of ending a meaningless existence or in the hope of feeling something. Dejection is also difficult to experience because a person does not forget how he previously perceived the world, i.e. he remembers his joy and delight, pain and sadness, how his eyes burned and how the world played with colors, but now he sees only grayness, and feels only emptiness.
What is despondency
This state is characterized by a loss of the sense of time, when there are no prospects for the future and the emotional moments of the past are gradually erased, each one becomes insanely similar to the previous one - among such monotony, not only all hope or passion is lost, but also a person’s ideas about himself.
A special place is given to the state of despondency in religion, where it is even ranked among the mortal sins. It is worth separately noting that the state of despondency characterizes not only an individual, but can be used in relation to a certain social group or an entire state (this state is caused by the lack of competent leadership, distant and ambitious goals in the future, as well as the presence of leaders who do not have strong charisma and intrapersonal strength).
When falling into despondency, a person chooses how to deal with it independently - some convert to faith, some go to psychologists, and some independently pull themselves out of the destructive swamp of indifference, literally by the hair. But a way out of such a state is not always provided; some remain in it for years or end their life’s journey in despondency.
Complete despondency sets in if you ignore the causes and give up trying to get out of the grayness, but how to start getting out depends on what causes the condition.
Dejection is a rather dangerous state of decline, in which not only the mental sphere suffers, but painful sensations can manifest at the somatic level. Self-esteem falls, the importance of the surrounding world, relationships and processes tends to zero, sleep disturbances are observed, passivity, the desire for loneliness increases, suicide becomes theoretically acceptable, and sometimes practically desirable, as a way to stop the gray swamp red tape, just like psychostimulants and hallucinogens , designed to somehow diversify life and pump up the sensory sphere. Similar symptoms appear in people in a state of sadness, acute grief and sadness, but if its duration goes beyond a week, and the degree of manifestation of these aspects increases, then you need to go to friends or a specialist.
If you observe a similar condition in your loved ones, and they refuse to admit the presence of problems, refuse to change anything, then we can talk about the need for therapeutic intervention - go for a consultation with a psychiatrist or psychotherapist with a medical license so that they can tell you how to prevent the progression of despondency may require hospitalization. Like any emotional state, despondency has varying degrees of severity; how to deal with them depends on the duration and reasons favoring the development of the apathetic state.
The most serious are force majeure circumstances beyond human control (wars, disasters, natural disasters, illnesses and deaths of groups of people and individual members). Such circumstances greatly undermine a person’s usual supports, unsettle him and serve as a development for many negative emotional experiences, but it is worth noting that, being the most destructive to the human psyche, they are the least common triggers of despondency.
Much more often, the cause of this condition is significant relationships and the negative aspects that occur in them - divorces and insults, resentments, envy, inattention and other destructive aspects of human relationships. It is they, being part of significant relationships, that most often manifest themselves, in contrast to fires and wars. Expecting caring and appreciative attitude from loved ones constantly confronts a person with a discrepancy with reality (this is normal, since we all show both strengths and weaknesses), the question remains how a person copes with such incidents, how much one accepts the weaknesses of others and allows life to flow in its own way.
And if in some cases the influence of surrounding people really objectively influences a person, then changing relationships or social circles can improve the emotional background; the situation is much more complicated if people have nothing to do with it and are only objects of the internal projections of the sufferer. You can drive yourself into despondency under physiological conditions (illness, physical exhaustion, prolonged lack of sleep), as well as under a certain psychological make-up based on an inadequate perception of the outside world. The perception of the world shifts when passing age milestones and crises, when old life and social roles change (marriage, moving, new position) and a person’s inability to quickly adapt to changed conditions.
With increased demands and expectations from others, the person waiting ultimately suffers, noticing the uselessness and futility of getting what he wants from the outside world, instead of reorienting himself to achieving it on his own. In principle, frustration of any significant needs leads either to a surge in achievement motivation, or to resentment, internal closeness and despondency to experience disappointment. This is a mechanism that protects the psyche from encountering experiences that currently exceed its resources, but being in constant despondency can become more dangerous and lead to a chronic state of desensitization.
How to get rid of despondency
Dejection can be compared to an extinguished internal fire, when a person not only does not see where to move, but also does not understand why to look for this path. Being passionate about some idea or activity will help you get out of this state, but you shouldn’t demand that you take a keen interest in everything that’s happening—it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to jump out instantly. You should give time during which you can simply look closely at various trends and genres, you can come to the sections and be a motionless, mute spectator, you can walk the streets, looking for something that can emotionally hook you. Being surrounded by people full of excitement and hope, aspirations and positive outlooks, whose energy can move mountains, has a positive effect on getting rid of despondency.
The human psyche is structured using mirror neurons, and moods and attitudes to life are transmitted through direct contact with a person. This statement is true in relation to any states and emotions, so even if you are a desperate cheerful person, surrounding yourself with depressive whiners, you risk losing your passion very quickly. Be aware of who you communicate with and what activity is happening around you. If you are despondent, then consciously, controlling the process (after all, interest, like the leading system, is temporarily turned off) choose everything that is as opposite to despondency as possible.
It is believed that the opposite of despondency is cheerfulness, but this is a rather crude and superficial view, since it reflects only one aspect of the concept. If you look deeper, the opposite of despondency is inspiration or creativity. While despondency represents emptiness, dullness, disinterest and inaction, inspiration includes creation, fullness, active activity, if not physical, then mental. It is the loss of connection with one’s creative component that causes the loss of the taste of life, and accordingly it is necessary to overcome the illness by returning creativity to one’s life. There is no need to paint pictures if you have never done this, but you can remember your love for baking and come up with a new recipe or make repairs from scrap materials - the entire surrounding space is a blank slate for a flight of imagination, you need to try to find your abilities and desires.
Look for the causes of your condition and eliminate them, rather than endlessly struggling with the consequences. If you are depressed by the monotony and boringness of your work, then you can cheer yourself up as much as you like, but as long as the activity remains the same, the result will be disappointing. In this option, you should either change the activity or introduce exciting elements into it. The lack of visible results leads to despondency with the same probability as complete well-being, only the wording is different - there is no point in striving, because everything is useless or because everything is already there. A shake-up, leaving your comfort zone, arranging your own austerities allows you to feel first the lack, and then the desires that give rise to aspirations and a thirst for activity, sweeping indifference out of the main parameter of perception of reality.
Don’t be afraid to change your life, especially if you don’t care anyway, then in the worst case scenario you will remain in the same state. Go to unfamiliar cities, increase your social circle, load yourself with new work or hobbies - it is not necessary that you will like the new city, but new acquaintances will delight you. Perhaps, from active life changes, a feeling of anger at the limitations of people will appear (and this will give rise to the idea of opening your own development courses), perhaps new cities will be horrified by their dirt and ruin (and you will think about a volunteer movement to correct the situation). All the emotions gained during the new experience will be useful in order to jump out of despondency, but whether it is love and admiration for the world or indignation and anger at the existing order of things is not so important.
Take care of the physical support of your body, because despondency disturbs the production of hormones and somatic sensations - make up for the lack of endorphins in all possible ways. The best option is physical activity (choose jogging, gym, fitness training, swimming pool), bananas and chocolate (direct suppliers of the hormone of happiness into the body), touch and intimacy (tactile sensations and orgasm produce a huge amount of necessary substances that normalize functioning of the hormonal system). Replenish your supply of essential vitamins (gnaw vegetables and fruits, drink them in capsules or fizzy drinks - the main thing is that all microelements are contained in the required quantities), walk more often, saturate your body with vitamin D, which is one of the main helpers in the fight against depression.
Drugs and alcohol are depressants, so using them in a state of despondency will drive you into a blind corner, the way out of which will lie exclusively through a psychoneurological dispensary. If you feel the need to stimulate emotional processes, then for now it is better to sign up for training using holotropic breathing or go to individual psychotherapy.
Don't stop setting goals for yourself, let them be small things for every day - working out, meeting a new person, choosing a hairstyle. Firstly, the awareness of achieving goals helps to overcome the feeling of one’s own uselessness, secondly, it gives direction for movement, and thirdly, it facilitates the process of getting out of despondency, because it is still easier to follow a written plan, which you can draw up as you read this text. Otherwise, in the absence of motivation (and this is precisely what is striking for such a state), all invented strategies for overcoming despondency will be nullified.
Lazy or sick?
— The most common question that arises in everyday life: how to distinguish depression from whining and bad mood?
— Depression has a whole complex of symptoms, which indicates to the therapist that it is depression and not something else. This is very difficult for a non-specialist to determine. Usually “simple whining” is short-term, but depression is a long-term condition. The first manifestations of depression are not much different from sadness and despondency. The duration of stay in a bad mood, autonomic disorders and asthenic disorder should be of concern. In this state, a person is worried about apathy, blues, nervousness, sometimes a feeling of anxiety and fear. Usually the following triad can be traced: depressed mood; general lethargy, rigidity of thought: lack of pleasure, or rather, the almost complete impossibility of obtaining it. Plus, there may be purely somatic symptoms - an increase or decrease in blood pressure, headaches, sudden changes in weight in one direction or another. In addition, we must understand that depression in any case has a biochemical nature. In the brain of a person suffering from depression, the exchange of neurotransmitters - serotonin, norepinephrine, dopamine - is disrupted. Serotonin deficiency provokes anxious depression: in addition to a depressed mood, a person constantly feels anxious and worried about trifles. Dopamine deficiency leads to loss of pleasure: you don’t care what you eat, you don’t want to go out and meet friends. A lack of norepinephrine means a lack of the desired reaction, concentration, focus, loss of strength, fatigue, and apathy. That is, it’s not that the person got off on the wrong foot, he’s despondent, he’s a pessimist, everything is bad for him. Depression, without exaggeration, is one of the most difficult conditions. And this condition does not depend on the person himself - it needs to be treated with the involvement of doctors.
- And even before the doctors? Let’s say the situation at home: a relative doesn’t work, doesn’t study, lies around all day and does nothing. How can I figure out if he is just lazy or if he needs to see a psychotherapist?
- Usually this is noticeable in comparison. Relatives see how active their loved one used to be, smiled, and communicated. If he is just lazy, most likely he still has active interests, friends, communication, even if he does not want to work or leave his room. And with depression, we see an inability to enjoy life, a depressing mood, causeless anxiety and fear, apathy, and insomnia. Feelings of worthlessness, loss of hope for the future and thoughts of death. All this is different from laziness. Laziness is a form of resistance. At the same time, the causes of laziness are also very diverse. But a lazy person can be in an excellent mood. It is easy for an ignorant person to confuse depression and laziness. External symptoms may be the same. A person suffering from depression can, like Oblomov, lie in bed, switching channels and not delving into the content of the programs, sit at the computer. But if he doesn’t interact with anyone at all, doesn’t go out into social life, and has a constantly low mood, it’s better to consult a specialist. Although there are different types of depression, it happens that outwardly a person seems to be fine. Once again, only a doctor can distinguish this.
“But this conditional relative may not want to go anywhere, to any doctor. Just sit at the computer all day long, and that’s it.
— A person who is satisfied with himself, satisfied with life, will not sit at the computer around the clock. And the fact that he sits like that is already a problem. Moreover, it may not be depression, but computer addiction. In a state of depression, a person feels endlessly lonely, even if in reality he is surrounded by the care and attention of loved ones. The thought that no one can understand and help makes you drown in your own powerlessness. It is important for relatives to understand this condition, and not to stimulate the person with advice such as “pull yourself together”, “everything is fine with you”, “others have it even worse”, “don’t do stupid things”, “you need to think about good things”. You need to show your loved one that you understand and sympathize with him, and only then suggest going to the doctor. Emphasize that he will definitely feel better after treatment. Encourage him, but subtly and unpersistently. Let him know that he is important to you. Go to the doctor together.
- How to treat depression?
— Treatment of depression is complex. It consists of taking certain medications that should never be prescribed to yourself. Yes, a lot depends on the person, and in the initial stages he can still “jump out” of this state, but the further he goes, the more he is overcome by loss of strength and indifference, and, of course, it is very difficult for him to cope. In addition to drug treatment, there is also psychotherapeutic treatment: a psychologist, using certain techniques, helps to cope with this condition and to tune in differently. In such a situation, it is very important for a believer to receive the support of a priest who understands what depression is and knows its nature. If in this situation you say that this is nonsense and “it’s your own fault,” this will not only not support a depressed person, but can also worsen his condition.
