Enneagram: what it is and what its study gives: Pixabay Self-development and the desire to understand interpersonal relationships lead people to the concept of “enneagram”. Some psychologists use it to diagnose patients, and HR specialists use it in employment tests. What is the Enneagram and what secrets about a person does it reveal?
Perfectionist or Reformer
The main principle for such people is the desire for perfection in absolutely everything. Typically, such individuals appear confident and calm. Speech is slow, with frequent words: “right” and “wrong.”
This Enneagram personality type constantly improves itself in both personal and professional life. At work, such people show responsibility and always meet deadlines. They never quit what they started halfway through. In family relationships, they require honesty from the partner and all members. If a Perfectionist criticizes, then it is better to admit your guilt and try to correct the mistake. After all, this person is terribly afraid of making a mistake, and demands the same behavior from others.
The reformer is unable to delegate authority both at work and at home. For this reason, such people are constantly busy and overloaded. This is where anger and irritation come from.
Famous representatives of the type: George Bernard Shaw, Hilary Clinton, Harrison Ford, Alexander Solzhenitsyn, Confucius.
Transition under stress
A stressful factor for people of Type Nine can be a protracted conflict situation, or a tense atmosphere at work, or external pressure when insufficient time is allocated to complete a task or make a decision. In such circumstances, Nines lose their inherent complacency, begin to treat others with suspicion - they begin to see hidden motives in their behavior and the desire to use them. The usual perception of the world in pastel colors is overshadowed by irony and pessimism. This is how their transition to the Six is manifested.
Helper or Friend
All behavior, gestures and actions of such people are open. In the company of a person of this Enneagram personality type, the partner feels like the center of the universe. The main value in life for a Friend is caring for one’s neighbor. These people remember all the details of the lives of those around them and are always interested in how things are going.
These qualities also manifest themselves in professional activities. However, work colleagues often take advantage of the kindness and dependability of such people.
On the one hand, it may seem that the Helper is a real altruist. In fact, good intentions are caused only by pride, and on a subconscious level they hope for gratitude.
This type includes: Mother Teresa, John Travolta, Jesus Christ, Melanie Griffith, Princess Diana, Priscilla Presley.
Person's character
Character is stable personality traits that manifest themselves in different types of human relationships:
- Towards other people - sociability / isolation; responsiveness/rudeness; respect / contempt, etc.
- To the point - hard work / laziness; responsibility / carelessness; persistence/compliance, etc.
- Towards oneself - self-esteem/conceit; pride/vanity; modesty/selfishness, etc.
- Towards property - neatness/sloppiness; care/negligence, etc.
Achiever
The third personality type according to the Enneagram is the most productive and effective. They know how to do several things at the same time. The main goal of such a person is success in everything. Throughout their lives, Achievers set themselves more and more new goals and achieve them. They are true workaholics and can work even without sleep or rest. Any failure of such a person leads to a state of stress.
The effectiveness of this personality is also manifested in communicating with people. They can get along in any team. However, they love competition very much. If on the path of life you meet a smarter and more successful person, then the Achiever asks you to teach him everything that the first one knows.
In a family, such people are not very emotional, and show their love through actions, but not through words and tenderness.
These people need public recognition because they are inherently vain. Over time and with age, understanding comes, and the Achiever is burdened by the feeling that he has lost something, or rather himself. He begins to understand that those around him do not love him personally, but his success.
Prominent representatives of the type: David Copperfield, Tom Cruise, Sylvester Stallone, George Washington, Elvis Presley, Oprah Winfrey, Richard Gere.
Tips for Dealing with Perfectionists
If a person with “excellent student syndrome” does not become personal and does not begin to have full control over a colleague, friend, child or other half, then it is very convenient to live and work with him.
They boldly look up to him in their work, they imitate him, they look up to him, they admire him. Another plus is that a perfectionist is a person who tries to do everything himself, because no one can do anything better than him. Sometimes you can relax and let him show his “perfection”.
Rules for communicating with a perfectionist:
- Follow his example in perseverance and hard work.
- Sometimes shifting responsibility onto him is not a sin. While he is doing monotonous or labor-intensive work, you can rest. When an “ideal” person makes a habit of making constant comments, you can pretend that he is being listened to attentively. In order not to destroy your own self-esteem, those around you do not have to delve into every corrosive word of a perfectionist.
- If claims and behavior develop into tyranny, and heart-to-heart conversations do not have the desired effect, help such a person come to the conclusion: the help of a specialist is primarily necessary for himself.
As proof, they cite constant fatigue, decreased concentration, and the suffering of loved ones due to inappropriately high expectations and demands.
Romantic or Individualist
For people of this Enneagram personality type, the main thing is to stand out from the crowd. They have a mysterious smile and a slightly sad look. People around them often think that such people are completely uncommunicative. However, they are very much afraid of becoming outcasts in the team and love it when people communicate with them.
Personalities of this type are the most mysterious and emotional. Such a person is afraid to exist without emotions. Almost his entire life is spent searching for himself and the meaning of life. But such people know how to share good and bad news with friends. A calm and measured life is not suitable for representatives of this personality type according to the Enneagram.
An individualist is somewhat shy in communication, and the reason for this is the understanding that he is not like everyone else. This causes constant mood swings.
On an unconscious level, Romantics are driven by envy. And it arises against the background of constant comparison of oneself with others. After satisfying emotions and experiences, the Individualist takes on the traits of the first type of personality – the Reformer. At such moments, any task by the Romantic will be completed exceptionally well.
The Individualist type includes: Vincent Van Gogh, Nicolas Cage, Michael Jackson, Marcello Mastroianni, Johnny Depp, Edith Piaf, Marlon Brando.
The Observer or Thinker
Personality type 5 according to the Enneagram is a person who is self-sufficient and capable of analyzing without unnecessary emotions. When meeting, it may seem that such people are silent, but if the Thinker understands that the interlocutor is interested, then the first will be able to answer almost any question.
Such people spend most of their lives thinking and studying; they simply like to accumulate knowledge. An observer, having received any profession, will definitely become a real expert in the chosen industry. Because of their ability to analyze everything, such individuals become real strategists. They really don't like surprises.
Famous personalities of personality type 5 according to the Enneagram: Bill Gates, Alfred Hitchcock, Al Pacino, Jules Verne, Agatha Christie.
Instead of an afterword
To finally answer your question: are perfectionists hostages of their own and others’ ambitions, or people to be emulated, we can recall the examples of great inventors.
D. Mendeleev is known as the inventor of the periodic table. He spent many years on it, but worked meticulously to please his mother. She alone tried to get Dmitry, the 17th child in the family, accepted into a prestigious university. His whole life became proof of his mother’s love and gratitude.
Another idealist was the physicist L. Landau, who came to the conclusion that marriage would not be called a good word. He won the Nobel Prize, but due to his busy schedule, he forgot about his wife on his wedding night. With the words: “Oh, I’m unhappy!” I never left the regular laboratory tests.
Being a perfectionist is sometimes good - the next generations will appreciate your work. But will his descendants be among them? And is it easy to go through life next to a person suffering from a manic idea of making everyone perfect? And isn't this dangerous? How do you think? Share your opinion with us!
Dagirova Lidiya · 24 Sep, 2019
Skeptic or Loyalist
Representatives of this type doubt absolutely everything. Therefore, the person who happens to be nearby will be forced to constantly make decisions for the Loyalist and pass the “strength” test.
However, the ability to see any situation from several sides allows you to always remain in a balanced state. It is better for such people to choose the job of a financial analyst or security chief, that is, a profession that requires the calculation of all risks.
Personality type 6 according to the Enneagram are people who always become best friends. They maintain relationships even with those they interacted with in kindergarten. Such individuals know how to joke, but every little detail will be noticed in their statements, which is not always pleasant to the interlocutor.
Prominent representatives of this type are: Mel Gibson, Kim Basinger, Vladimir Zhirinovsky, George Bush and Marilyn Monroe.
Enthusiast, Epicurean, or Optimist
The main principle of such people is to live to have fun. There are always a huge number of new plans in the head of such a person. An enthusiast strives for new experiences, but this character trait does not allow him to concentrate on one thing.
Such people speak very quickly, constantly jumping from one topic to another. These are real experts in starting new things, but very often they do not complete them. But in any activity they are able to see something new and interesting. Therefore, they can come up with new business ideas almost endlessly, but due to the inability to bring everything to life, most of them are experienced internally. The Epicurean learns quickly; one might say, he has enough knowledge on the fly.
Optimists know how to be grateful and generous, but they have a very hard time withstanding any tragedy, so they simply try not to notice the troubles.
Such people need to learn throughout their lives to restrain themselves and concentrate on one thing.
Famous personalities of this type include: Franklin Roosevelt, Mozart, Jim Carrey, Kevin Klein, Gerard Depardieu, Brad Pitt.
Challenger or Boss
A description of the Enneagram personality type should begin with the fact that such people want to control everything and despise any weakness in others. However, if someone dares to offend the weak, the Boss will always come to the defense. These are reliable and strong people, honest and self-confident.
When talking to people, the Challenger stands upright and speaks loudly, almost always making direct eye contact. The whole appearance of the Boss “transmits” self-confidence. How could it be otherwise, because these are born leaders! These are the people who most often become managers or businessmen.
Bosses are full of life and energy. The Boss divides everyone around him into “strong” and “weak”. He is always ready to compete and be friends with the former. He does not accept the “weak,” but if it is a close person, he will definitely take him under his wing. For this reason, the Boss always has few friends and close people, but he always protects them. Such people do not know how to be content with little and always achieve the object of desire.
In an unfamiliar environment, the Boss initially withdraws and tries to analyze the situation and those around him. After this, he boldly enters the battle, because life is a struggle.
It is very simple to determine the personality type according to the Enneagram and in life if you analyze the characters of famous people who are on the list of Challengers: Napoleon Bonaparte, Frank Sinatra, Donald Trump, Joseph Stalin, Saddam Hussein, Mao Zedong, Nikita Khrushchev.
Treatment for perfectionism
If the “excellent student syndrome” does not have a neuropathic background, work on persuasion is needed. Through cognitive psychology, experts ensure that the idealist himself reconsiders his life positions.
Three steps to getting rid of perfectionism:
- Set an achievable goal based on realistic and achievable criteria. It is important in the process not to do more than the intended goal requires.
- Think about what you will have to pay for the achievement. This is the amount of time spent, health, strength, and sometimes free time with loved ones.
- Keeping up with the times means that the perfectionist and other types of people involved in achieving a goal must meet a time frame. It is impossible to postpone, reschedule, or allocate time for revision.
Here are some more tips for perfectionists:
- You need to set aside a certain time for all your activities and strictly follow this schedule. This way you won’t be able to get hung up on one thing for a long time and will learn to switch. You will have time for other activities.
- You need to treat your mistakes correctly. Mistakes are a lesson for the future. In the future, the mistakes you make will be a resource for you, a store of knowledge that will allow you to cope with the task faster and better.
- Criticism must be present in our lives. If you heard it, then, as a perfectionist, you must understand that perfection is not yet close. What seems ideal to you may look completely different in the eyes of others. How will you achieve the ideal if you don’t know what it is? How can you receive praise if the result of your work is different from what society expects?
- Don't do any soul-searching. You don't have to go back to the past all the time. We must understand that the past cannot be changed. The result of the past is our experience. It’s better to praise yourself more often, encourage and pamper yourself. It’s more pleasant than gnawing at yourself all the time to no avail.
If you work on yourself, you can extract positive aspects from perfectionism:
- Everything can be done according to a plan or schedule, but to the maximum.
- If you feel that you can do more, you see real potential in yourself, spend your time and energy on improving your “I”. Your achievements will also increase.
- If you gave it your all, but didn’t finish something during working hours, leave it for next time. Tomorrow, with renewed vigor, you will achieve even better results.
- Having the same resources and opportunities, setting realistic goals for yourself, you will always achieve more than others.
- Don't set the bar too high for yourself, otherwise you won't be able to enjoy the results. After all, you, as a maximalist, can rejoice to the fullest. Since you, as a maximalist, can rejoice to the fullest, do not miss this opportunity. After all, you are still the best.
But if perfectionism has neuropathic preconditions, they turn to a psychotherapist. It will help destroy illusions about the structure of the world and the patient himself. He will also understand the causes of this condition.
Peacemaker
It seems to others that it is simply impossible to quarrel with personality type 9 according to the Enneagram. They are really friendly and calm people. They absolutely cannot stand conflicts and try to maintain harmony in all areas of life. They easily get along with others and are often the reconciling party in disputes. If the conflict cannot be resolved, then such a person simply distances himself from the problem.
Friendliness and calmness prevent the Peacemaker from defending his opinion, since this person most often puts his desires and needs below the interests of others.
Despite all this, Peacekeepers are very stubborn and will not allow themselves to be controlled. It is difficult for them to understand themselves; they cannot understand their needs. The Peacemaker's main problem is his reluctance to leave his comfort zone. Such people need to learn to formulate their opinions and become decisive. Peacemakers must understand that problems do not solve themselves.
Representatives of this type are: Ronald Reagan, Kevin Costner, Mahatma Gandhi, Dalai Lama, Queen Elizabeth II, Abraham Lincoln.
Detailed description of the 9th Enneagram type
Author of the article: Irina Karopa
There is always a pleasant, harmonious atmosphere around these people. With their mere presence they bring calm and friendliness to the team. It seems that it is simply impossible to quarrel with representatives of the Ninth Type; in their presence, conflicts and tension resolve “by themselves.” The most colorful image of a representative of Type Nine is the character of the cat Leopold from the Soviet cartoon of the same name. Remember his life motto: “Guys, let’s live together!”? So, the Ninth type of the Enneagram is called the Peacemaker, or Mediator .
In communication, Nines are pleasant, friendly interlocutors. They listen to you attentively, smile and nod, maintaining the conversation. They themselves usually speak slowly and quietly, the timbre of their voice is pleasant, the intonation is calm, monotonous - with their speech they seem to lull their interlocutor to sleep. Body movements are smooth, relaxed, there are few gestures. Meta message: “Enough time. Let's just enjoy each other's company."
