Empathy - What is it? Definition, Types And Levels, Impact

How to recognize an empath? How do empaths feel? How is their life going? What does the presence of empathy give and what is its nature?

Empaths (see the link for the definition from Wikipedia) are quite difficult to define. Today we will talk about the main traits of empathic people and provide interesting information about their psyche.

Most people are more or less capable of empathizing with others. However, only a few can be considered true empaths. By reading the following list of characteristics of empathic people, you can quickly determine whether you are one of them or not.

What is empathy in psychology?

For the first time, E. Titchener, a psychologist from America, drew attention to the chosen quality. What is empathy definition in psychology according to Titchener:

Empathy is a person’s ability to respond to the emotional manifestations of other people, share their feelings, realize the depth of grief or joy, without losing touch with reality. The ability to consciously project onto oneself the feelings of another person. Empathy is inherent in nature and is present in almost everyone. An example is the bond between mother and child. They have a deep emotional connection and react acutely to each other's mood swings.

► The most banal procedure, such as vaccination, can cause hysterics not only in the baby, but also in his adult mother. Parents experience the first visit to kindergarten and being with strangers even more acutely than their children. This mechanism works especially well with loved ones, relatives and friends. The feelings of a stranger and distant person do not have such meaning and empathy in this case is muffled.

► An empathic person reacts sharply not only to events occurring in the present time. He is able to empathize with the heroes of works of art, sobbing and laughing while hugging a book or when attending a movie show. An empathic person is, one might say, a normal individual. After all, the ability to empathize is connected with the evolution of all humanity. Some mental illnesses and characteristics (for example, autism) are characterized by an inability to read and understand the emotions of others.

► Empathy in psychology is a separate area that is still being studied. While an empath is a person who understands the emotions of others, he can not only sympathize, but also manipulate them. Empaths are divided into two types - those who read emotions and maintain a cool head and those who very keenly feel other people's pain and joy, losing self-control.

There are also those who are in the middle between the two extremes, and it is they who are taken as the standard of humanity. Such people will be discussed in the article. About those who know how to empathize, but do not seek to use the emotions of others to their advantage.

How to develop and strengthen empathy

And since you and I are social creatures, we need empathic behavior for communication and good relationships. How can you develop this quality in yourself in order to have good relationships with everyone and be a respected person?

Psychologist's advice

The mechanism for developing empathy is not complicated - you just need to make a conscious decision to understand a person’s emotions and put some effort into this decision. And I will describe some useful tips on how you can develop this quality in yourself:

Watch. When you ask a person how they are doing, try to pay attention to how they speak and what they do. This will help you understand not only his words, but also his uncontrollable emotions.
Please check. If a person answers in monosyllables, with a short answer, then you can clarify whether everything is really normal or something is happening. But don’t despair if you hear a rude answer - this is just a reflection of the soul of the interlocutor. Although I used to react very strongly when I approached a person with all my heart, and he...
Listen. Empathy is your work and reflection, that is, understanding what you and your interlocutor feel in order to gather your thoughts and understand it. When speaking, try to hear with your heart.
Focus. Using empathy is only useful when you are focused on the person and what he is saying, and not on the phone, home problems, or nails. Look into the person's eyes, straighten your arms, take an open pose.
The emphasis is not on yourself. In a sincere conversation, do not express your categorical opinion and do not turn the topic on yourself. Your task is to listen to the person, understand him, and not talk to yourself. Talk about yourself later and maybe with other people.
Show your empathy. The best encouragement for a person is your active participation in his experiences. If you show him that you hear, you understand, then his strong negative emotions will begin to subside. You can retell in your own words what your interlocutor told you.
Respect. Remember that you are not the ultimate truth and if a person has a different opinion, he has the right to do so. Respect his opinion, even if you don't agree with him.
Be interested. Develop interest in the interlocutor. For example, if he is greedy, think about what led him to develop such a quality. Use empathy to understand the evil, greedy, cunning, proud. This will at least save your nerves.
Communicate. Communication anywhere and everywhere will help develop practical empathy. Feel free to chat in line at a store, at the seaside, on a tram. This will help you understand people's moods, when you need to talk to them, and when it is better to wait.
Train your interest in your surroundings. Try to pay attention to everything that surrounds you: cars, people, trees, sounds. Try yourself in the role of a detective who investigates everything that comes his way.
If you can, volunteer. There are a lot of people around you who really need help. You will learn to help those who are truly in need and understand people - who wants self-interest and who is in a difficult situation.

Volunteering as a way to improve empathy

Exercises

Lack of empathy is a problem in modern society. People became aggressive or indifferent. There are few people who want to understand others. But this is a basic human need - to be understood and accepted. Therefore, psychologist Daniel Kieran has identified 10 exercises to develop and strengthen this personality trait.

Emotional Dictionary. Pick one day and write down all the emotions you experience during the day. In addition, notice your actions - as a result of which you experienced these emotions. At the end of the day, think about what new things you learned about yourself, how awareness of emotions affected other people’s understanding, why you were positive after certain things and vice versa.
Recognizing thoughts and emotions. Make a list of emotions and start it with the words “I feel... when...” Then think about whether the phrases “I feel” and “I think” intersect. Conclude that thought and opinion are not emotions. Think about the difference between thoughts and sensations.
Create an offer. It needs to be created according to the template: “You/I feel... because... Am I right?” And practice with your interlocutor. You can put any emotion in the blanks, from happiness to anger. Check to see if you correctly recognized the person’s emotion. Then think about why it is important to correctly determine the emotions of other people, what were the difficulties.
Role reversal. Try to see yourself in the role of your mother, sister, friend, neighbor. Try to get used to the role of these people. On their behalf, try to answer the questions: “What are your favorite books?”, “When did you go on vacation?”, “What do you love most?”, “What saddens you most?”, “What makes you happy?”, “When?” are you nostalgic?”, “What are you afraid of?”, “What are you hoping for?” Ask if you answered the questions correctly and what emotions arose.
Duplication. It is important to do the exercise in pairs. You say a phrase - the interlocutor expresses an emotion. For example: “My mother bakes a pie” - “I am happy to eat the best pie in the world” or “I haven’t liked it since childhood.” The duplicator's job is to guess your emotion. Discuss what problems arose, how the exercise helped you get to know the person, and how you felt in the role of an understudy.
Hearing. You listen to your interlocutor, he talks about what is important to him. Your task is to formulate in one sentence what a person feels, without focusing on his feelings. Then switch roles. Think about how you felt as a storyteller and a listener. Did the interlocutor convey your emotions correctly?
Becoming a different person. You need to play all the roles according to a pre-written dialogue, where there is a victim, a bully and an observer. The exercise involves 3 people, and each person takes on all the roles in turn. Then share how you felt in each role. What decisions were made during the exercise.
Understanding history. Ask a friend to write about someone who is unpleasant to him, why he is unpleasant and what emotions he evokes. For example: “I don’t want to be friends with Anya, because she is silent. She has a lot of problems in her studies and family, so she remains silent. I realized that she was silent not because of her bad attitude towards me, but because of her problems.” Has your attitude towards this person changed? Do you understand the reasons for the “wrong” behavior of other people?
Imagining emotions. Write 5 historical characters, describe their emotions in the most vivid moments of their lives. For example: “Barack Obama saw his wife in company with a handsome man, and felt jealous and angry that because of his work he could not pay enough attention to his wife.” Then ask yourself: Do you now better understand the character's motivations?
Empathy and anger. Think back to a time when you were very angry. And try to find an empathic argument: “You never clean up after yourself!” change it to “You’re annoyed because I didn’t put my things away on time and you had to do it for me, right?” How did you feel when you heard the first sentence? And on the second? Is it true that hostility subsides with empathic responses?

How to improve empathy with training

To develop empathy, the Emotional Intelligence course will be useful. These are 20 lessons of active listening and empathy building. After all, these two different concepts are united by one important skill - controlling your emotions and understanding the emotions of other people.
Will help:
recognize lies and confront them;
see empathy and the manifestation of hidden emotions;
“scan” the interlocutor;
do not show your emotional state;
recognize people's manipulations;
build relationships with other people.
The cost of the course is 990 rubles.

You can find out your level of emotional intelligence right there – on the Vikium development platform. An emotional intelligence test will help you understand what stage you are in developing this skill, as well as determine the dynamics of its development after completing the course.

You can also improve your emotional intelligence in one of 14 courses on developing emotional intelligence.

What types of empathy is divided into?

Types of empathy in psychology - a classification adopted in the science of emotions. According to it, you can understand what empathy is like.

Cognitive empathy

▪️ Cognitive empathy is the ability not only to empathize, but also to analyze actions, compare them with the actions of the object. With this form, the empath's feelings are based on his own experiences in the past and experiences gained. He reads emotions based on facial expressions, gestures, eye expressions, and intonation. Cognitive empathy facilitates personal communication and building business relationships through understanding the personality of the interlocutor.

Emotional empathy

▪️ From a scientific point of view, emotional empathy is a deep immersion into the personality of the interlocutor with a complete or partial loss of self-control. Emotional empaths have a special structure of the nervous system; they are able to project the pain and joy of others onto themselves, feeling them as acutely as those who exude them. This quality is fraught with stress, nervous breakdowns and emotional instability. Such a person is capable of losing peace for a long time from any bad news in the world.

Predicative empathy

▪️ The third type is called predicative empathy - this is the ability to predict someone else's reaction. A person is able to foresee how the interlocutor will behave in a given situation. A predictively developed empath not only understands what is happening to others, he does it consciously, understanding the motives of their behavior. Therefore, he tries to behave tactfully, without violating someone else’s personal space and psychological comfort. One person can have different types of empathy at the same time. It also happens the other way around - an individual does not understand the mood of others at all, with all the ensuing consequences.

Rules of conduct with a female empath

Such people are a real treasure, so you need to treat them with care. Empathy for others influences the character and behavior of the chosen one, so you need to be prepared for the fact that in a relationship with an empath girl you will have to show more attention and care than may seem necessary.

It is important to be able to recognize your partner’s true emotions and those that she broadcasts after communicating with colleagues and friends. You will also need to closely monitor your behavior: negativity will immediately cause a mirror reaction, doubled, which will lead to a quarrel. In a relationship with an empathic woman, you should try to radiate only positive emotions - this will become the basis of a strong and harmonious union.

Next to a real, understanding man, such a girl will be able to open up and even learn to control her emotions and separate her own feelings from contrived ones. However, you should understand that this is a long process that requires effort and patience.

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Levels of empathy in psychology

To find out how capable a person is of empathy, tests are used. Such diagnostics of the level of empathy helps to better understand a person. Especially sensitive people themselves need help and diagnostics in this case is a useful tool. Levels of empathic interaction are calculated using a list of questions that the test taker answers. Most often, the method of I. Yusupov or A. Mehrabyan is used.

High level

According to the test results, some individuals have a high level of empathy - this is the natural ability to feel the emotions of others better than their own. Only a few have this property. Highly developed empaths project other people's problems onto themselves, traumatizing their own psyche.

A high level of empathy is characterized by generosity, sincerity, and the ability to forgive offenses. These advantages become disadvantages when others begin to take advantage of them. Colleagues and relatives tend to parasitize on a gentle character, and scammers choose empaths as an easy victim.

High empathy does not tolerate offensive behavior towards another, the individual is always tactful and avoids painful topics, as well as does not show excessive curiosity. A high degree of empathy is inherent in creative people with a rich inner world and imagination. The mental balance of such people is very precarious, their mood is changeable. Increased empathy significantly spoils the life of its owner.

Average level

According to the classification, an average level of empathy is a property that most people have. Regardless of social status and profession, people are able to show signs of empathy:

☑️ The ability to “hear” the interlocutor, the desire to understand;

☑️ The ability to put yourself in another person’s place, to imagine their emotions, both positive and negative. This is especially true for situations such as the loss of a loved one or the joy of the birth of a child;

☑️ Understanding the suffering of others and the ability to empathize with them.

An average level of empathy indicates that a person is mentally healthy and can live successfully in a society of his own kind.

Most people are ready to provide support in a difficult situation and show an emotional response. However, a person with an average level has a self-defense mechanism, and he will not plunge too deeply and for a long time into the suffering of others. The instinct of self-preservation will not allow you to engage in self-destruction because of other people's problems.

Low level

Indifferent people most often have low levels of empathy. If the coldness is not a result of upbringing or a mask, such an empath does not suffer from other people's problems. A person with a low level of empathy lives for himself, he is not touched by the suffering of others, and his emotional background is low. Tears or bright manifestations of joy are extremely rare for empaths.

Low empathy means focusing on oneself and the inability to understand another. A low level of empathy indicates undeveloped communication skills. Such people choose activities that are not related to working in a team. Old people and children, with their whims, frighten a low-level empath, as do animals. He avoids them all. Criticism causes negative emotions, but the reaction to it is short-lived. Such individuals received the nickname thick-skinned. They are also sometimes called introverts.

Stage 3: creating your space

You also have the right to be listened to, not burdened with the troubles of others. The following steps need to be taken to achieve this:

The very first step is to learn to be independent and independent in everything. Start by buying groceries or new clothes without waiting for anyone's advice, approval, or criticism.
The next stage is to learn to rely only on yourself in difficult situations.
Start arranging your own corner - a place where no one will disturb you. This could be a cozy bench in the park, a secluded lawn, or even your own country house. Nothing else like nature will help quickly restore mental strength to a sensitive empath.
Don't sit in public spaces where you feel uncomfortable or uncomfortable.
World spiritual practice - breathing exercises, yoga - will help you consolidate the result. Learn to visualize your negative emotions (fog, stones, dark colors), and then mentally break them down and disperse them.

What are the signs that a person has empathy?

In addition to several types, experts also identify signs of empathy.

✔️ Showing empathy in the desire to help. Every person from time to time finds himself in a situation where he needs support.

In the event of emotional upheaval, we tend to lose self-control and adequately assess what is happening. The presence of someone who will serve as a support during such a period is a vital necessity.

✔️ If someone has the ability to empathize, he strives to help. At the same time, he does this willingly, without expecting gratitude. Selfless friendship is one example that demonstrates how people show empathy towards each other.

The ability to empathize and sympathize with others manifests itself regardless of whether a person has received gratitude and appreciation in return. An empathetic person uses his character traits to increase self-esteem. This brings him moral satisfaction.

✔️ The feeling of empathy is adjacent to the ability to listen to other people. Most of us can spend hours talking about our problems and talking about personal experiences. At the same time, the interlocutor remains in the shadows, and any attempt to do the same is suppressed during the “conversation”, or rather, a monologue.

✔️ An empathetic person is observant, he notices emotions and listens to words. And he does this without judgment or the desire to lecture him in response. Even for a bad deed, he will try to find, if not an excuse, then at least an explanation. Next to such a person, the interlocutor feels important and this has a beneficial effect on mood and increases self-esteem. He feels that he will receive not only support, but also practical advice.

✔️ Sincerity and empathy. The depth of these experiences depends on the degree of empathy. Feeling someone else's pain as if it were your own brings real suffering, depriving the empath of appetite and sleep. Sometimes, from too deep experiences, he falls into a state similar to depression. Managing your emotions is just as important as having empathy. A natural quality given to people can be beneficial or harmful, depending on how it is used.

Examples of empathy in psychology

In addition to developing the skill itself, you need to pay attention to controlling it. Being overly immersed in other people's emotions can lead to empathy fatigue.

A striking example of empathy in psychology from life is people working in areas related to saving others. Doctors and rescuers face physical and mental suffering every day. Seeing death and pain, they are on the verge of emotional (empathic burnout). Sometimes so-called professional deformation occurs - from a sympathetic savior a person turns into a cynical and cold specialist. This is how the instinct of self-preservation works.

An example from life where empathy is necessary is the pedagogical sphere. Teachers and educators simply must have this quality. Not all adults know how to communicate with children, and some are even afraid of them. It's all about vivid emotions and undeveloped control over feelings. Teachers feel the psychological mood of each child and help him cope with emotions. Those who are characterized by increased empathy often choose professions related to communication and helping.

An empathic person, with the necessary knowledge, can make a career in any field. The ability to control your feelings is an important component. You need to learn to restrain the emotions that rush out at the sight of other people's suffering and delight. Help needs to be provided while distancing slightly. By letting deep grief pass through your psyche, you can deplete all the resources necessary for life.

Empathy in psychology is a narrow scientific concept that is part of a larger phenomenon called “sympathy.” The term is of Greek origin and translates as “suffering.” Empathy is not always associated specifically with the emotional sphere. Sometimes the term is applied to intellectual actions.

The doctor diagnosing the patient shows empathy by listening to his words and description of symptoms.

The ability to empathize is a normal human quality. It has gradations from a light emotional response to a deep immersion in the world of another person. It is believed that interaction occurs through reading information from gestures, facial expressions, and intonation. An important condition is that an empath must understand and realize that he is reacting to other people’s emotions and not identify himself with the object of sympathy.

How to Stop Being an Empath

Empathy sometimes becomes a heavy cross for a person. Feeling and experiencing someone else's pain as your own sometimes becomes a nightmare. Remember the main character of the imperishable “The Green Mile” by Stephen King. For highly sensitive empaths, their ability drives them into a corner, makes them depressed, and leaves them devastated. Of course, it is difficult to get rid of this gift once and for all. Long and persistent spiritual work on oneself is required, consisting of four main stages:

Awareness of your response to other people's emotions.
Setting certain boundaries when communicating with other people.
Creating personal space.
Positive attitude towards the perception of the outside world.

Let's look at each point in detail.

Is empathy good or bad?

The benefits of understanding other people's emotions are obvious. If you do not take extremes into account, this skill helps in your career, facilitates communication, improves the psychological mood in the team and helps to increase self-esteem. Does developed empathy have pros and cons? Obviously yes. The benefits of empathy have already been outlined in the article, but we need to understand how empathy affects a person from the negative side. Empathy in communication can not only improve mental state, but also worsen it, acting suppressive.

► Hyperempathy is fraught with emotional overload and breakdowns. A person is forced to pass everything that happens around him through his consciousness. At the same time, a trace of someone else’s pain and suffering remains in the soul. Recovery takes a long time.

► Hyper-responsibility is a quality that strong empaths have. They often feel excessive guilt for events that they have nothing to do with. Believing that they are obliged to help everyone and everyone, they are not able to calculate their own strengths and capabilities.

► Empathic abilities can develop into extreme degrees of altruism and self-sacrifice. By helping someone to the detriment of his own interests, a person gradually plunges into the swamp of his unresolved problems.

► High empaths are naturally sensitive and are unable to act rudely or harshly towards others. They suffer from rudeness and give the impression of weak-willed people whose weakness can be taken advantage of.

Characteristics of Empaths

Answer the question “Who is an empath?” It will help to list the characteristic features of the owners of this gift:

The feelings of other people are experienced as one's own. Some people identify them during direct communication, while others even detect them kilometers away.
In public places there is a feeling of a certain depression - from negative emotions emanating from many people at the same time.
They sense lies acutely. It is impossible to hide your true intentions and feelings from an empath.
If an empath acutely empathizes with a sick person, he can even feel his physical pain and feel the symptoms of the disease.
An empath in any group will notice a suffering person.
“Emotional vampires” are keenly aware of empaths and try to get close to them in order to unload their negativity on the poor fellows.
An empath often feels tired, empty, and depressed.
An empath is definitely a creative person.
You can identify someone who has such a gift by their love of nature and sensitive care for animals.
Such people like to be alone - otherwise the endless stream of other people's emotions will simply drive them crazy.
The gift of empathy makes a person an excellent listener.
They feel injustice, authoritarianism, and selfishness acutely.
They show their gift in everyday life: they do not like museums, antiques, old houses - they feel all the energy that a thing or atmosphere once absorbed from the people around it; often become vegans - they feel suffering before the death of the animal that has become food.
Empaths don't know how to pretend or put on a mask. They often give the impression of being unsociable, closed, quiet and shy people.

Advice from psychologists on strengthening the ability to be compassionate

If for some reason you lack such a trait as empathy, practice the following skills

Get to know yourself and your feelings, reflect
. In the evening, you can think about what events the day was filled with, what emotions you experienced in a given situation.
Every word heard from another person should reach the heart, understand what the person is saying
. Listen carefully.
Become an actor
. Imagine yourself in the role of this or that hero, try to understand his emotions.
Do not refuse to help colleagues, friends or loved ones
. If they ask for your advice, then listen and help.
Pets are very good at awakening frozen empathy
. Every adequate person, at the sight of kittens and puppies, has feelings of tenderness, kindness, and a desire to protect.

The main condition for the development of compassion is the ability to love, to experience kind feelings towards the whole world. If you have fear, anger, malice, and selfishness in your soul, then you won’t be able to become an empath even if you follow all the tips listed above.

How to use empathy wisely

Empathy can help you build rewarding relationships with people. To do this, it is important to apply 2 strategic steps.

Step 1. You can quickly win over your interlocutor if you accept his point of view. As soon as you try to see the world through the eyes of your interlocutor, feel what he feels, then you will understand how to present the information.

To build a win-win dialogue, you need to prepare for it: collect information about the interlocutor, think about how to convey certain information.

Step 2. Tailor your message, information to the person. To do this, adjust your behavior and conversation to it. Use the information you learned earlier. Here connect wisdom and communication skills. By choosing the right words, ideas, and a friendly attitude, it will be easier for you to adapt to your interlocutor and achieve results in the conversation.

The competent use of empathy is required not only in negotiations. Posts on social networks, letters, meetings, relationships will also be “on top” with the correct use of empathy and “getting used to” the emotions of another person.

This quality is undoubtedly important in management and leadership. When you understand your subordinates, the people with whom you need to interact, then you will be respected and your opinion will be listened to. This is what is important for any leader.