The term “selfishness” is familiar to many people. At the everyday level, this is understood to mean that a selfish person thinks only about himself and nothing more. But there is also a healthy component to this phenomenon; it lies in love and respect for oneself. The main thing here is the measure that must be observed. In any conflicts and disputes, the egoist acts as his inner voice tells him.
Sometimes these can be very offensive and inappropriate things, but what can you do? Going head over heels in defiance of everything and everyone is also typical for such people. When and under what circumstances can a representative of the fair sex be said to be selfish? At first, a girl may seem quite sweet and kind, but her nature only emerges after some time.
Egoist and society i
It’s a good time for a selfish representative to not take the initiative in communication. Alya - let the one who needs it start, I don’t need anything. This entails a number of problems associated with adaptation in society. The manifested arrogance does not allow her to meet people first. After all, a selfish woman has such conceit. But the desire to look good in the eyes does not go away; helping someone who asks for help will not be such an impossible task. People are not eager to ask for help from an arrogant woman and, under any pretext, try to avoid fulfilling her requests.
Features of female egoism
The selfishness of women and men differs in the tasks assigned by nature to representatives of different sexes. Men need to prove their strength and worth, and a woman has to oppose something to male strength at any cost, since she cannot physically win.
A selfish woman in a relationship with a man tries to manipulate double standards:
- I am weak - I need to please, take care of, not offend, pamper with expensive gifts, forgive insults and whims;
- all people are equal - we should take care of the house equally, go out with friends the same amount of time, let everyone have their own account, because I go to work no less than you, but first we will spend your salary on the household, and then we’ll see.
The woman thinks through her plans far ahead. First she tries to find a good father for her children - rich, handsome and healthy. If the first result is achieved, the child is born, the mother often tries to create a cloudless life for him and herself, neglecting the interests of the father.
Behavior with your loved one 2
It is very difficult to communicate and generally conduct a dialogue with an egoist; there are constant squabbles and raised voices. The behavior of such a girl during a conversation with a man boils down to the fact that she:
- Always stands your ground;
- Never gives in;
- Doesn't trust the man;
- Questions his words;
- Pursues only its own interests in all disputes and conflicts;
- Doesn't know how to give in;
- Reproaches a man for not being good enough.
Does the list seem small? These are not all the things that can be observed in communication with a selfish person. This can greatly offend men; not everyone can stand such an attitude towards themselves. In general, in order to withstand this, you probably need to love the girl very much.
Causes of manifestation
The essence of a woman's selfishness in a relationship lies in the wrong behavior of her parents. Girls mistakenly perceive themselves as the center of the universe, growing up in a family:
- With one child, where she was taught that she was the best, things and toys were bought only for her, her whims were satisfied at the flick of an eyelash. Entering adulthood, a girl with such baggage of conceit will demand parental dedication from her partner, without thinking about his needs and desires.
- A room with many children, in which whoever sat down first ate. In such families, children are not always friendly and ready to help. Living in a large crowd of people, where parents spin like squirrels in a wheel, and are not able to pay much attention to their children, a girl may consider herself not loved enough and deprived. And having matured, he strives to get more and more from life. Inspired by childhood grievances, such a girl thinks only of herself in a relationship with a man.
Those close to you will easily notice the signs of a selfish girl, in a relationship with a man, expecting full return from a partner who is obliged for her sake to be successful, young, attractive and healthy. What she is able to offer to a man who matches her concepts is a big question.
Around her 4
People who think only about themselves love to attract attention, especially girls. Therefore, there is always a lively excitement around such a person. People are attracted to this mystery and mystery, because these are adventures, and they always end in an interesting way. Women's charm and artistry give men great hopes, which are subsequently destroyed by the barrier of egoism.
Healthy selfishness for the sake of your husband
How important is it to your husband to have a perfectly tidy home and dinner worthy of a five Michelin star restaurant? If you put it on the scale, on the one hand: a house sparkling with cleanliness, a multi-course dinner and at the same time a tired, unkempt wife in a dressing gown, because she:
- didn’t have time to change clothes because she didn’t have time for herself,
- because she prepared all this and
- then I washed the kitchen after all this... Blah blah blah...
And on the other hand: a house of average cleanliness, a modest dinner from semi-finished products, but a cheerful, flirting wife with twisted curls on her head, in a flirty apron that was not made for cooking?
What will your husband like best?
I have a strong suspicion that he will choose the second option. Of course, family hygiene is important to a man, and the path to his heart was once paved through those same five dishes for dinner. But a man does not live by bread alone! And hardly anyone can exaggerate the importance of sex for men. Therefore, a flirty apron “not for cooking” will win over steamed cutlets!
Cutlets are the prose of life. And a rested wife, full of life, is the very romance that disappears somewhere in marriage. We know where she goes - the wife is busy maintaining hygiene at home and working on a new dinner recipe, but is not at all interested in her own tired face in the mirror.
This is where the advice creeps in: “Be selfish, turn on healthy selfishness.” And not for your own sake, but for the sake of preserving love and marriage.
Reduce the speed of your housekeeping and get rid of perfectionism in the matter of cleanliness. Clean the house not to the “A+” level, but to the “B” level. This is also a good assessment. But spend the freed hours on a bath with foam and salts, on sleep, on beauty.
Everyone knows that a tired woman has low libido. Rest and boost it. You and your husband need this.
Your husband will be grateful to you for such selfishness much more than for all the starched tablecloths and polished forks.
WHAT SOFTWARE
What person doesn't love freedom?8
Live your whole life within the framework of some social principles? Also, by the way, again, the opinion that a woman owes and is obliged to do something is fading away. Yes, with freedom comes responsibility for your life, but it’s better to decide for yourself than for someone else to decide for you. The ability to take risks, think, plan and hope makes life brighter and richer; only at such moments does a person understand what he really wants from life.
Reasonable selfishness is good for the family
I would advise reasonable, healthy selfishness to our Russian women who have a family and children.
Women are sometimes so carried away by the idea of family that they completely forget about themselves! Worries about children, about her husband, about order in the house, about dinner on the stove, about work make up 100% of a married woman’s time.
Working through each of these points and combining them together is like a squirrel running in a drum. It is extremely difficult to jump out of this movement; it has sucked in, twisted, and absorbed.
But we need to get out. You have to become an egoist woman, an egoist mother.
For yourself and your family.
How selfishness manifests itself in women
Female egoism is characterized by the fact that a woman does anything but what is really important for the health of her body and mental state.
This manifests itself through 2 types of behavior.
Type 1: A woman gives 90% of her attention and care to others, leaving herself, her desires and needs for last, if there is time.
Example:
A woman came home from work and ran into the grocery store on the way. I quickly changed my clothes and started preparing dinner. She fed the household and washed the dishes. I vacuumed the house and threw things into the washing machine. While they were being washed, I helped my son do his homework. Around 10 pm I remembered that I needed to iron my clothes for tomorrow. At the same time, I stroked everything that was waiting for its turn. I went to bed at 1 am and will have to get up at 7 am tomorrow.
Weekends are busy with things that you don’t have time to do on weekdays. General cleaning, laundry, walk with the children, prepare food, go to the store to buy new sneakers for my son, the old ones are completely torn, and so on. After all, only by caring for others can you be a good wife and mother.
At this pace of life, a woman forgets that she wanted to make an appointment with a massage therapist, because her lower back hurts and has been dragging for a month. That an interesting exhibition had recently arrived, and I really wanted to go there. That a friend invited me to sit and chat in my favorite cafe. And just take a bath with aromatic oils for half an hour.
Type 2: A woman directs 90% of her attention to indulging her whims and desires, which are aimed at maintaining the artificial image of a “beauty,” “business woman,” “status lady,” etc.
Example:
A woman’s morning begins with classes at a fitness club and a trip to a beauty salon, a scheduled appointment with a cosmetologist, a manicure and pedicure, because you need to look appropriate for your status. For lunch I chose and prepared a vegan menu for the whole family - a healthy lifestyle is fashionable now. The husband and daughter, although they are grimacing, are eating, and what else can they do?
After lunch I took my daughter to music school and then to ballet. The girl must receive a proper education.
I ordered dinner for delivery from a healthy food restaurant from Pierre Duroy, he is very popular in their circle.
At the same time, the beauty is not at all interested in the wishes of her husband and daughter, does not pay attention to them and does not give spiritual care.
Conclusion:
Women's selfishness is more complex than men's, but just as destructive to relationships. A woman of the first type devotes herself entirely to caring for others, while forgetting about herself and becoming physically and spiritually exhausted, which leads to irritation, claims and reproaches.
A woman of the second type is busy only with what is important for maintaining her image and status, absolutely not taking into account her real needs and the wishes of her loved ones, which ultimately also leads to exhaustion, irritability, claims and reproaches.
Further, female egoism leads a woman either into depression or into bitchiness.
Exit:
In order for a woman to come out of a state of selfishness, it is important to remember her needs and fill herself with strength and rest in a timely and correct manner.
If she is exhausted, then from a state of lack she begins to “vampire” those around her, creating an unbearable atmosphere around herself, thus trying to subconsciously replenish her reserve of strength.
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