Fear of the future: how to overcome it and start doing something

One of the Quora users asked the readers of the resource an important question that comes to each of us at least once in our lives: “How to overcome fear of the future?” Indeed, any person has asked himself these questions:

What will the future be like? Will my dreams come true? Will I be able to achieve the goals I set for myself? Will I be able to cope with all the obstacles that will come my way? Will I be able to build a career? What about my personal life?

Today we will share with you people's opinions on this matter.

Get out of your comfort zone

I believe it is more a fear of failure than a fear of the future. Therefore, I think it is worth starting with this. Failure or error is not always a bad thing. An intelligent person will be able to learn a lot from his mistakes, gain experience that he would never have acquired if his path was paved exclusively with successes.

Have you ever noticed that a person who has built a successful business in any industry often stops there and does not strive to develop and “capture” new areas of business. And why? Because he doesn't know the secret of his success. Or he just thinks he knows.

It is very strange that the author of the question limited the future only to his own selfish framework and did not mention that it could be much worse than not getting a good job or not fulfilling your cherished dreams. War, for example. Nuclear terrorism. Economic collapse. Various epidemics. Hunger. A large asteroid will fall to Earth. Totalitarian tyranny. Global warming or cooling. Or something else like that.

In my opinion, to overcome your fear of the future, you need to get out of your comfort zone. Start small: talk to a stranger, or stop taking the same route to work year after year and try to find alternative routes. Read a book about something completely new to you. Sign up for courses that are far from your interests and your professional activities. Create your startup.

Ask yourself: “Is there something that I want to do or that I want to achieve, but I just can’t get around to it?” If your answer is yes, go for it.

And of course, take some time off and think carefully about what you want to do in the future. What YOU really want, not your family, friends, colleagues or acquaintances. And then start doing it.

The more you achieve, the more different things you manage to do, the less you will be afraid of tomorrow. You will be confident that you can handle whatever life throws at you.

Anxiety for the future. Fear of the unknown and “Is this how I live?”

• Anxiety for the future. Fear of the unknown and “Is this how I live?”
• Fear of the unknown Why are we afraid of the future?
• Why do our fears about the future grow?

Be courageous

In my opinion, fear of the future is based on the past. For example, a person in the past experienced misfortunes or betrayals, in a word, he experienced all the pain and injustice of this world. And now he's afraid it might happen again. I can't formulate a specific plan of action, but I really want to give you one quote that I hope will help you:

Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, give me the courage to change the things I can change, and give me the wisdom to know the difference.

What is fear of the future called?

The question often arises as to what fear of the future is called. Psychologists use the term futurophobia when a person has a panicky fear of upcoming events. Fear becomes stronger if there has already been a negative experience in the past.

For a person with futurophobia, any problems cause panic.

In psychology, age-related crises associated with changes in life status are noted. Entering a university, changing jobs, getting married or getting divorced - all these situations are considered stressful and cause both positive and negative emotions.

Overcoming Fear of Change

Overcoming the fear of change is not a difficult task, you just need to force yourself to do what you are afraid of.

To help you get out of your comfort zone, do things that you are not used to. If you are used to eating normal food, then try Chinese food, change the places you go to or the tables you sit at, or go somewhere else to see a different culture.

Even if these changes were small, they will program your mind into a new way of thinking that will allow you to accept the changes.

Finally, find out if your past experiences have anything to do with your fear of change, and then work to address the root causes associated with your past.

Let's talk about phobia

The word “phobia” recently entered our lexicon. Many people today are not just afraid, they “suffer from phobias,” using this phrase to designate all their fears and experiences.

The more complex the world, the more fears there are. Some are afraid of earthquakes and natural disasters, others are afraid of the dark and dogs, others are afraid of heights and crowded places.

I wonder how a phobia arises and how to find a way to get rid of obsessive fears. We addressed similar questions to Olga Sharypova, a teacher and psychologist at the medical prevention office of the Khanty-Mansiysk Clinical Psychoneurological Dispensary.

- What is a phobia? Is this a mental disorder or a type of fear?

— A phobia is the fear of something that does not exist in reality. In other words, this is a symptom, the essence of which is irrational uncontrollable fear or a persistent experience of excessive anxiety in certain situations or in the presence (expectation) of an object. In psychiatry, a phobia is usually called a pathologically increased manifestation of the fear reaction to a particular stimulus. Phobias have traditionally been considered within the framework of obsessive-compulsive disorders related to thinking disorders.

A phobia is a strongly expressed, obsessive fear that irreversibly worsens in certain situations and cannot be fully explained logically.

As a result of the development of a phobia, a person begins to fear and therefore avoid certain objects, activities or situations. Phobias or obsessive fears are anxiety disorders and are acquired fears.

— How to distinguish between fear and phobia?

— Fears and phobias are very close, but there are significant differences between them. What distinguishes a phobia from ordinary fear is, first of all, its senselessness, and it is difficult to control by consciousness and common sense. Fear is a natural protective function of the body in the face of real danger. Fear is an emotion that arises in situations of threat to the biological or social existence of an individual.

— Are there reasons for the occurrence of a phobia?

— The cause of a phobia is fears that arise during some unpleasant situations, for example, in adult life. Another reason for the occurrence of a phobia can be called the experiences that a person had to experience in childhood. It is childhood experiences (psychological trauma, severe stress) that are retained very vividly in our memory. Therefore, at certain moments in life, children's fears simply begin to emerge in memory and develop even more. Almost every person has something to remember from their childhood. Many people are afraid of heights, darkness, and loneliness because they experienced some terrible event in childhood.

People who are emotional and very sensitive, that is, people with certain personal characteristics, are most often susceptible to fears. It is worth emphasizing that it is people with an insufficiently stable psyche who are most prone to the formation and development of a phobia. Phobias can appear in people with a rich imagination, since it is quite difficult for them to distinguish between real and imaginary danger. It is much more difficult for them to resist this negative feeling than for people with a more stable and strong psyche. People who are subject to such fear are actually afraid of something that is not there. After all, a phobia is the fear of fear itself. A person is simply afraid to be afraid.

—What are phobias? Which ones are the most common?

— In the literature you can find various classifications of phobias; summarizing all the theoretical and practical material, we can distinguish several groups of phobias:

The first of these includes fear of space, manifested in various forms. Perhaps the most widely known of this series is claustrophobia - the fear of enclosed spaces. However, the opposite phenomenon also happens - some people are terrified of open spaces. In its severe form, this disease is agoraphobia.

The second group of phobias includes the so-called social phobias associated with social life. They include ereitophobia (fear of blushing in front of people), fear of public speaking, and fear of not being able to perform any action in the presence of strangers. Social phobias include the fear of public speaking, which is very common among people, and the fear of meeting a girl you like on the street. Another fear, as if adjacent to the one indicated above, is the fear of “losing” a loved one. This fear, as a rule, is based on deep-seated self-doubt or low self-esteem, as well as past negative experiences in this area. In other words, a person who has already been left by a loved one (or loved one) will expect a repetition of a similar scenario.

The third group includes nosophobia - fears of contracting some disease. This type of obsessive fear is always present in society to one degree or another, but is particularly aggravated and becomes widespread during epidemics.

The fourth group of obsessive fears includes thanatophobia - fear of death.

The fifth group includes various sexual fears, phobias associated with intimate life, for example, coitophobia - fear of sexual intercourse.

The sixth group includes fears of harming oneself or loved ones, the seventh group includes “contrasting” phobias, for example, the fear of loudly uttering obscene words in society. And finally, the eighth group of fears is phobophobia or, in other words, fear of being afraid of something. For example, specific phobias are fear of a specific object (fear of lightning, water, storms, fear of snakes, rodents, spiders, etc.).

And from an everyday point of view, all fears can be divided into three parts depending on age.

- Childhood fears. Every child experiences fear of the negative characters of the fairy tale - Baba Yaga, Koshchei the Immortal, Barmaley. Many children have a common fear - the fear of the dark, of little drums, and so on. Of course, all these nightmares and fears pass in most cases.

— Teenage fears. As you know, a person’s personality is just being formed during puberty. Almost all teenagers have an unstable nervous system. During adolescence, a large flow of information is directed at minors: homework, relationships with the opposite sex, socialization. The most common fears in adolescence are tanaphobia, the fear of death, and intimophobia, the fear of relationships with the opposite sex. And all these fears also pass quickly. But, if some fear remains from childhood or adolescence, then it should not be treated as a lifelong diagnosis; it is very important to eradicate it.

- Parental fears. Almost all parents are subject to a wide variety of fears associated with their child - this is the fear that the child will get lost or be stolen. In young families, there is a panicky fear of responsibility.

Thus, the most popular phobias are social (fear of speaking in public), acrophobia (fear of heights), cynophobia (fear of dogs), aviophobia (fear of flying), astralophobia (fear of thunderstorms), nyctophobia (fear of the dark), agoraphobia (fear of open spaces). spaces), claustrophobia (fear of small spaces), arachnophobia (fear of spiders), dentophobia (fear of going to the dentist).

— What should a person do if his usual fear has already turned into a phobia and interferes with his normal life?

— Phobias seriously complicate a person’s life. They interfere with adaptation in society, make self-development impossible, and sometimes lead to the fact that a person generally loses the opportunity to leave the house. A psychotherapist treats phobias. A specialist will help you find the true cause of your fears and teach you how to deal with them effectively. The best “cure” for a phobia is working with the subconscious using cognitive behavioral therapy and various neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) techniques. To work with a phobia, you can use six-step reframing, the method of visual-kinesthetic dissociation, etc. The main desire of the person himself.

Take care of yourself! And remember that life is not given to live in fear.

Natalya Tetenok

Photo by Ilya Yurukin

article from the site https://cmphmao.ru/node/8764

Fear of going to a psychologist - are fears justified?

“Fear is the main source of superstition and one of the main sources of rigidity. Overcoming fear is the beginning of wisdom.” Bertrand Russell

What actually lies behind the phrase “I'm afraid to go to a psychologist”? Answering this question honestly is the first step to improving your life. In 99% of cases, all fears are far-fetched. This is a barrier to happiness and harmony that must be overcome. A psychologist is a specialist who has certain knowledge and masters verbal techniques, but he is an ordinary person. There is no point in being afraid of him.

What are the benefits of communicating with a good psychologist?

Conversations with a psychologist are based on trust and utmost honesty. There is no room for falsehood or psychological games. Such experience is very valuable. A person learns to talk about his feelings sincerely, understand himself, and build relationships. This is a great chance to change your life in the desired direction. In addition, the psychologist will help:

• learn to resolve conflicts;
• achieve your goal;
• understand your inner universe;
• achieve harmony with yourself and others;
• find internal resources for self-realization;
• save your health.

Symptoms

Symptoms of futurophobia can be not only psychological, but also physical. In anticipation of the event, a person may experience a panic attack. The condition may also be accompanied by:

• dizziness and fainting;
• increased or decreased blood pressure;
• fatigue and apathy;
• depression;
• insomnia;
• rapid heartbeat.

Self-flagellation about life and its course can lead to obsessive disorders: a person understands his problem, knows the reason for his fears, but the condition only gets worse. Each time, in an attempt to correct the situation, the patient performs a ritual, after which, in the patient’s opinion, relief follows, and he does not think about what is coming as a problem. The situation can only get worse. The obsessive thought returns time after time in a new interpretation. It becomes impossible not to think about the problem.

Let's look at a vivid example of how a person can fear for the future:

“Just the thought of a future birth can terrify a woman in labor, and this is due to incorrect information and lack of support. As a result, the expectant mother withdraws into herself, endlessly revising the materials of many forums and magazine articles regarding her question.”

Stress Prevention

As you know, all our problems are caused by stress. To overcome a phobia of the future, you just need to strengthen your nervous system. Stress prevention involves simple activities.

• Play sports. Yoga is especially suitable because it will teach you concentration and relaxation.
• Meditate. Turn on your favorite music, close your eyes, imagine that your problems are far, far away, and the future is wonderful.
• Find a new calling for yourself. To get distracted and collect your thoughts, you need to do something else; everyone knows that the best rest is a change of activity.
• Eat right. This will improve metabolism, provide a surge of new strength, and at the same time strengthen the immune system.

Illness from childhood

Atychiphobe is a person with impaired self-esteem, unable to adequately assess the balance of his strengths in relation to the prevailing circumstances. Undoubtedly, a significant event that had a negative outcome pushed the patient to form a phobia.

But why are some people able to cope with difficulties, take into account old mistakes, continuing to move forward, while others fixate on failure, giving rise to doubts and uncertainty? Defeat can create in a person a persistent feeling of helplessness, confidence in the lack of knowledge and skills. Over time, for such individuals, negative experiences develop into a phobia.

The peculiarity of such a person is his fixation on one negative situation. He believes that, having suffered defeat once, he will now face failure in all his endeavors. When assessing the situation, circumstances and personal characteristics are ignored. There is a generalization of the picture of what is happening. Such a negative attitude deprives people of purposefulness, prevents them from making plans and moving forward.

The roots of the problem stretch from early childhood. Many factors can influence a child’s self-esteem:

• model of parental education - high expectations for the child, the requirement to be first everywhere, at the top. The desire for primacy in everything forces the child to be in a state of increased tension, close to stress;
• The child’s successes are deprived of encouragement. This refers to an adequate positive assessment of achievements. As a result, the child is deprived of the opportunity to form the correct attitude towards his victories;
• achievements are ignored, and mistakes are severely punished by parents. Children do not know how to rejoice in successes, acutely experiencing failures;
• ridicule from peers. Ridiculing actions, as well as personal qualities, features of appearance;
• desire for perfectionism;
• character traits - impressionability, suspiciousness, anxiety, fixation on negative aspects.

How to stop being afraid of a psychologist

What to do if you are afraid of a psychologist? To begin with, you need to soberly assess the situation and understand what you really need to be afraid of: a specialist who will help resolve the situation or be left alone with a problem that is poisoning your life. Fear is caused by speculation, misunderstanding of the principles of how psychological conversations work and the lack of the proper level of psychological culture.

Absolutely everyone needs psychological help. An adult understands that mental health must be looked after in the same way as physical health. There is no point in being alone with your problems when there is a professional nearby who can help with everything.