For a whole year, my relationship with the man I loved resembled a swing: we came together, then diverged again. He started new affairs, but I didn’t understand what I was doing wrong. A relationship restoration course helped me find mistakes. As a result, the beloved returned with serious intentions and big plans for the future. Now everything is wonderful with us. What I was wrong about and how I managed to fix it - read on.
Now I know for sure: even if your loved one has stopped communicating, nothing is lost yet, love can be returned.
The same magical program that helped me and 2000+ other women get their beloved man back is
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Losing and rebuilding relationships: my personal experience
I had a problem. My beloved and I broke up, and he did not seek to restore our relationship. During this very period, on YouTube, I came across Elizaveta Volkova’s channel: I was attracted by the idea that I could build a relationship with any man I wanted. So I came to a course on restoring relationships.
But when I began to figure out in practice how to get my beloved man back, our romance turned into a swing: now everything is good, then everything is bad. Over the course of the year, we either restored relations or broke them off again. He made new acquaintances with women whom I myself attracted into his life.
For a long time I didn’t realize what exactly I was doing wrong - after all, I honestly tried various methods and practices. At times I became frustrated and stopped trying to restore the relationship altogether. And then she returned to practice again, with renewed energy.
At this point, my mental anguish is a thing of the past. My beloved man announced that he wanted to be with me, and I moved with him - to the city where he lives, to his apartment. We restored our serious and happy relationship. The “third party” has left our lives, and now there is only us.
Once upon a time, all this seemed to me like a fairytale dream, an unattainable dream. But now I know how to restore a relationship with a loved one - even from the ashes.
Analyzing my experience, I compiled a list of the most important women’s mistakes in relationships with men - those that prevented us from being together for a long time. Check, perhaps in some situations you behave the same way.
Mistake 1: Taking initiative
Everything that a person hunts for in his life inevitably escapes.
"Men love bitches"
Sherry Argov, New York Times bestselling author
The first mistake, because of which I did not understand for a long time how to restore a relationship with a man, was taking the initiative. I believed that if I disappeared from my lover’s radar, he would forget me and be carried away by someone else. But everything turned out the other way around: the more often I reminded myself, the more my beloved moved away from me. He even began to court another girl.
For some reason, the first thing that comes to mind when looking for an answer to the question “How to get your loved one back?” is restoring the relationship through some kind of action in the material world. Do you think so too? But here's what happens:
- you come up with some kind of plan (call, write, meet) and begin to act;
- as soon as you appear in your man’s life, the same old scenario starts, which once ended in separation;
- As a result, the situation either remains unchanged, or everything becomes even worse.
But it is very important to let the man go. Think about whether you really want to restore the old relationship model that once led to their breakup?
While you hold a man and do not give him freedom, he increasingly strives to run away from you. And during this period he is ready to think only about his escape, and not about restoring his relationship with you. What to do?
How to correct a mistake in a relationship with a man
Try to act like a king: let him go calmly, without scandals and humiliations, and get on with your life. Let the man forget everything negative that happened between you, get bored and figure out how to restore your relationship.
Only when I was able to let go of the situation and accept that my man wants to be free, he wanted to be with me.
How to make your significant other regret the divorce and return?
Tips for both sexes on how to make peace.
To a woman
So, the weaker sex should adhere to the following tactics:
- Don't break contacts with mutual friends . Have fun and enjoy life, post bright pictures on social networks so that the guy understands: you know how to exist without him. This approach will make him nostalgic and bored.
- Keep yourself in shape . If after breaking up you start to look better than in tandem, this will not leave the stronger sex indifferent.
- Develop talent and creativity . Disclosing interests and hobbies is an effective tool for self-development and improvement and, as a result, a sense of self-respect. Observing the personal growth of a former lover is a guarantee of male regret about separation.
- Don't be led by gossip . Maintaining calm and equanimity in a delicate situation will make a representative of the stronger sex think: you are a worthy woman who saves face in any circumstances.
How to make your ex regret breaking up is discussed in this article.
To a man
Men, if they want to make their ex regret it, should follow these tips:
- Come up with a new attachment. Every girl wants to be loved and happy. Therefore, her main fear after breaking up is that another woman will be happy in your arms.
It is enough to create the appearance that a new contender for your heart has appeared - and your beloved will have doubts about the correctness of the decision to separate.
- Show that you are happy . Take the time to take beautiful photos for social networks where you will look cheerful and happy with the current state of affairs.
- Be unpredictable . Do something that your chosen one does not want from you: take up wrestling or sports if you have not done this before, learn a new profession or hobby related to public attention.
Mistake 2. Attachment to deadlines and dates
Often girls, dreaming of returning love, become attached to certain dates, for example:
- I want him to come to me on February 14 with flowers and a declaration of love;
- I want us to get married on May 20 this year.
Attachment to deadlines is nothing more than inflated importance, which prevents not only the restoration of relationships, but also the fulfillment of any desire. You can learn more about the inflated importance of desires and ways to reduce it in the books of Vadim Zeland, the author of the doctrine of reality transurfing.
On the subject: How can a woman reduce the IMPORTANCE of desire when attracting love?
In addition, by being fixated on a certain date, you show your distrust of the Universe. I'll explain with my own example.
How I jinxed my wedding
I really wanted a summer wedding with a beautiful date in August 2020. But the closer this day got, the more anxiety grew in me. And when the wish was not fulfilled at the appointed time, I was very disappointed. I decided that our relationship was completely destroyed.
By being fixated on the date, I did not give the Universe the opportunity to realize everything in the way that would be better and more correct for me.
How to correct a mistake in a relationship with a man
If you're going to attract what you truly want, does it matter when it happens? The Universe or the higher mind - there is always some force that will make your dreams come true in an UNEXPECTED way, at the best moment for this. You do not need to fight for what you want. Just be patient and allow yourself to have it. Imagine your ideal relationship with a man. Try to feel them as if all this has already come true.
Desire has no power. It can't even lift a finger. This is done by intention, that is, the determination to act. Intention also includes the willingness to have.
Vadim Zeland “Reality Transurfing”
The moment you let go of deadlines, you demonstrate faith and gain determination, and your intention gains strength. And then the wish comes true much faster and better than you could imagine. The man himself makes the decision on how to restore your relationship.
Mistake 3. Lack of interests and hobbies
At some point, my whole life turned into one continuous practice of getting my loved one back. Meditations, affirmations, visualizations...
I was like a squeezed lemon. Practices took up all my free time, I didn’t see my friends and forgot about my hobbies. Real life passed me by. And here lies another mistake - perhaps yours too.
Understand that endless daily practices will not make your wish come true any faster; you will only waste your energy. Men have a great sense of when a woman is in a resourceful state and when she is not. Remember this.
How to correct a mistake in a relationship with a man
There is no need to work with your subconscious 24/7. Take time and do what you like or liked before you were in a relationship with a man.
For example, I remembered that I love to draw: it allows me to concentrate and relax. I slowed down the pace of my studies and began to devote more time to myself, my hobbies and meeting with friends.
Is there anything in your life that you, for some reason, stopped doing when your relationship began? Bring these activities back into your life.
There are methods for restoring relationships that do not require a lot of time and effort. You attract your man by being beautiful and full of energy.
Learn more about these methods in Elizaveta Volkova’s master class
“How to get your beloved man back in 35 days.”
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Mistake 4. Negative attitude towards life and the current situation
Do you ever get in that mood when you want to complain to your friends and tell the whole world how bad everything is? When are you angry at your man for something he did, or angry for something he didn't do?
The paradox is that the more irritated and sad you become, the more often the Universe creates situations for you that cause similar emotions again and again.
So I used to answer a friend’s question, “How are you and your loved one?” Every time I complained that he didn’t write, didn’t call, didn’t pay attention to me and didn’t want to be with me at all. Thus, I attracted this attitude towards myself more and more. It's scary to think how this could end...
How to correct a mistake in a relationship with a man
What did I do to change the situation and ultimately restore the relationship with my loved one?
Firstly,
I stopped discussing my personal life with others. If they asked questions, she would answer that everything was fine, that there was harmony and mutual understanding with her loved one (even though things were completely different at that time).
Secondly,
I stopped communicating with people who were only interested in the negative. Surely you also know those who like to gossip, who really blossom when they hear that everything is bad for someone.
Third,
focused on maintaining
the desired state
. I am the creator of my reality and I build my own destiny. And this requires a state of awareness, increased vibrations and positive emotions.
You must learn to maintain this state for as long as possible. It won't be easy at first, but every day it gets easier.
Start by maintaining a state of mindfulness for 15-30 minutes a day. Be present here and now
and enjoy your life.
Remember: your life is programmed precisely in the moment “here and now”. There is no need to live in the future or constantly return yourself to the negative past, con. The Universe itself knows how to return your loved one and restore your relationship - just let it.
On the subject: How to win back a guy or girl with the power of thought - 6 steps
If you broke up because you cheated
Know that it takes a lot of time to restore trust after a breakup, especially if the cause was infidelity. Be prepared to work hard and spend several months rebuilding your broken relationship:
- Take responsibility for your mistakes. Avoid making excuses and blaming. To ask for forgiveness and move forward, you need to take responsibility for your mistakes. By looking at yourself from the outside, you will eventually understand what caused you to do wrong things and find ways to avoid them later.
- Ask for forgiveness. This may be the most difficult thing after cheating, because, as it seems at first glance, such an act is difficult to justify. However, asking for forgiveness is the only way to begin the healing process—you can't move forward if your partner is still angry at you. Even if he doesn't forgive you right away, you need to humble yourself and ask for forgiveness anyway, even if you have to do it several times.
- Become an open book . If you've deceived your partner, the fastest way to regain trust is to be completely open. Make your schedule and communication contacts available to your partner. Avoid hiding things, even small things, as they can lead to mistrust.
- Keep all your promises. You need to show that you are reliable. Never make promises that you cannot keep.
Mistake 5. Demanding and wanting to have everything immediately
And then the moment comes when a man, after several months of silence, suddenly appears. He writes to you, invites you to a meeting, or even suggests restoring the relationship.
And at this moment, many girls, like me once, become demanding
, which is an error.
Naively believing that I had achieved my goal and returned my beloved, I began to demand... Demand that he immediately give me a huge bouquet of roses. To offer his hand and heart. To announce publicly that he loves me and is committed to a serious long-term relationship. To…
All this led to the swing of our relationship rolling back again.
How to correct a mistake in a relationship with a man
If you have scared off your loved one by being too demanding, start acting calmly. The next time he appears in your life again (and if you do everything right, it will definitely happen) remember that you are the Queen.
Do not make claims or impose conditions. But don’t let them treat you in a way you don’t like. Of course, you deserve better. But if a man is too busy to spend time with you, you should always have a backup plan - something to do without him.
If he decides to do without flowers, buy yourself a large bouquet yourself. Let him think that you have other fans. If you're in no hurry to give a ring box, don't show how much you want it. Remember to have a backup option - meet with friends, engage in hobbies, go to the cinema or to the gym.
Should I put an end to it?
With our actions or words, sometimes we unwittingly offend loved ones, which can lead to a breakup. Some time after the quarrel, the understanding comes that the problem is not so big as to put an end to it.
After the insight, another problem arises, how to improve relationships, make concessions, because everyone’s pride begins to “play.”
The love and advice of a psychologist will help you restore your relationship after a breakup and find happiness again.
Reasons for separation, according to statistics
- A relationship crisis, when respect for a partner and tenderness suddenly disappear.
- Quarrels over trifles, which accumulate negativity towards each other over the years. Most often these are domestic issues, disagreements over raising children, problems with finances.
- Jealousy, distrust of the partner, constant reproaches.
- Treason. This reason most often leads to separation. Today it is no longer considered too vicious to have a boyfriend or girlfriend on the side. But for many, such behavior from a partner is unacceptable, so betrayal is followed by a breakup.
Is it possible to live your whole life with one person?
Psychologists say it is possible. You can even get your relationship back after any breakup if you want.
What helps preserve a family unit? This is sincerity, discussing problems, talking about everything openly and honestly. If problems arise, discuss them together and find a solution together.
Honesty and trust are the basis of strong relationships. The partner must be 100% sure that he will not be betrayed or stabbed in the back.
Supporting each other is an important part of a strong family life. Don't make fun of your partner, even if his plans seem ridiculous. Discuss it calmly.
Don't think that your partner has to entertain you or do something nice. Do something nice yourself, without reproaching, without putting yourself forward. Have fun together, sometimes letting your partner hang out with friends without you.
Remove boredom from your life, including intimacy. Proximity brings people together, which is why it is called intimacy.
My Favorite Practices for Reconnecting with an Ex
Finally, I want to give you a few recipes. I will share the practices that helped me become a Queen in the eyes of my man, restore our relationship and no longer make serious mistakes along the way.
Develop self-love
To keep a man, it is important to love yourself. Increase your self-esteem and begin to put yourself and your desires first, and not at all the interests of a man and your relationship with him.
I like these practices, they are the ones that helped me change the situation for the better.
- Meditation How to make a man fall in love with you in 21 days;
- Meditation How to learn to love and accept yourself;
- Practice How to love yourself to solve love and financial problems.
Enjoy life
Ask yourself: what do I want to do now while the man is not next to me? After all, when your relationship is restored, life with your loved one will be different. Joint things will appear, and you will not be able to devote 100% of your time only to yourself.
Make a plan for 1-3 months: write down everything you have long dreamed of doing. For example, here are some of the things from my list, with the help of which I have already lifted my mood and added bright colors to my life:
- go to a cool salon (in another city)
and get a tattoo; - do permanent makeup for eyebrows and lips;
- go to a professional photo shoot;
- visit the zoo.
Surprise yourself, live happily, and the Universe will give you a gift - an ideal relationship with the man you love.
Notice the signs
In the process of restoring a relationship, I came up with a sign for myself: if I see a car on the street with the same license plate as my beloved man, it means that the fulfillment of my desire is already close.
Every time I saw a car with this number, my mood lifted and a smile bloomed on my face. At such moments, I understood that the Universe was ready to return my beloved to me and restore our relationship.
Make up your own signs and notice the coincidences. If, for example, you meet a couple in love or your friend is invited to get married, do not be upset under any circumstances. Such random-non-random coincidences are called synchronicities. It is simply a reflection of your thoughts: you attract the desired future to you, and it is reflected in your reality. This means that the fulfillment of your desire is already close.
Don't give up!
Sometimes we see only one scenario for fulfilling our desire, although in fact there may be many of them. For example, I believed that since my beloved man and I live in different cities, my desire would only come true if I moved to his city. So I programmed myself for the only possible scenario for the fulfillment of a desire. As a result, this scenario took longer to come to fruition.
You can become desired by your ex again and restore your relationship much faster if you do everything right right away.
Sign up for a free master class by Elizaveta Volkova and receive step-by-step instructions “How to get your beloved man back in 35 days”:
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In this article, I shared my own experience, and I would be interested to know - what methods helped you (or did not help) get your loved one back and improve your relationship with him? Tell us in the comments.
Liabilities
You must give him and yourself your most honest promise that you will try to create conscious relationships. That you will always try to be by his side, no matter what. True, it’s worth asking him for the same.
But before you try to get your ex back, consider whether you can really keep those promises.
And finally, so that you believe in yourself, I want to give a review from one of my wonderful students:
