- Why is your girlfriend talking to other guys?
- How do loved ones deprive each other of happiness?
- How to react to a girl talking to other guys?
- Don't be jealous!
- Bottom line
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All people strive for a love relationship. But it often turns out that people create relationships not out of mutual love, but because of other reasons. When a guy notices that his girlfriend is talking to other guys while being in a relationship with him, he begins to doubt her loyalty. Naturally, in such a situation, various thoughts can creep into your head. Let's try on the men's website masculino.ru to understand why a girl behaves this way.
Why is your girlfriend talking to other guys?
There are many reasons why your girlfriend can communicate with other guys without breaking up with you. Let's look at the most basic ones:
- She continues to look for her loved one, so you are not the prince of her heart.
- She just talks to guys and makes friends.
- She is looking for a lover. Of course she will deny it. In fact, the girl is missing something in her relationship with you, so she is trying to find a second partner who will give her what she needs.
In the latter case, it is not always about sex. A girl may feel good in bed with a guy, but, for example, he earns little or does not pay much attention to her. Perhaps, guys also cheat not with the goal of replacing girls, but in order to supplement what is missing. Unfortunately, people are not perfect, so you, the reader, may not give a girl something, which is why she will compensate for it when communicating with other guys.
She needs her lover's reaction
Some representatives of the fair sex deliberately communicate with other men to see how their partner will react to this. These ladies are sure that the greatest manifestation of love is jealousy. A woman is ready to flirt with anyone.
For her, there is nothing more important than the reaction of her beloved. It is worth noting that such a partner will drive her partner crazy until he starts yelling at her. It seems that they really like it.
The best proof of their love on the part of a man for them is a violent reaction to her defiant behavior. A woman needs to be careful with this, otherwise she can drive her lover to the point where he will raise his hand against her.
The consequences may not be the most pleasant. After this, the woman will definitely no longer intentionally communicate with other men.
How do loved ones deprive each other of happiness?
How do loved ones deprive each other of happiness? It's actually very easy to make another person unhappy. And people who love each other often begin to deprive each other of happiness.
- Desire to control.
Do you think that quarrels and scandals destroy relationships? In fact, all this is a consequence of one simple desire - to control another person. When you were little, your parents controlled you, then your neighbors, teachers, and educators got involved in this. As a teenager, you seemed to start defending your boundaries, but you didn’t notice how you changed your “supervisors” from parents and teachers to your own friends. Now your friends dictate the rules of your life until you grow up and begin to build a serious relationship with your loved one.
And what is happening here, since you have been waiting for love for so long, which, in theory, should give freedom to partners? And here the following happens: people often themselves do not know what love is, but they know what kind of partners they want to see next to them. And since ideal partners cannot be found, they take just anyone, “whoever they meet,” and then they begin to “sculpt” from him the partner they would like to see next to them.
Here you remember all the internal grievances due to the fact that someone has been controlling you all your life. And now you yourself want to control someone, to command someone (especially if you work in a job you don’t like, where your boss constantly reprimands you for any mistakes). You want the other person to be the way you want them to be. And, unfortunately, this is not love. Moreover, in this case, a person forgets that he is building his relationship with an already formed personality, and not with a child who needs to be raised. And this takes away the happiness of the one who is being controlled, because he wanted to be loved for who he is, but for some reason he is constantly corrected, educated, criticized.
- The desire to force you to do everything just for your own sake.
Every person wants to live happily. But since the mentality of the Russian people is not ideal, from childhood people are taught the idea that someone or something can make them happy. “You are not responsible for your own happiness, but other people who surround you and the things you possess make you happy.” And people believed it. That's why they buy themselves a lot of clothes, cars, luxury things, in order to somehow please themselves. But somehow happiness doesn’t come! Then people make friends, crowds of fans, beloved partners, but they, as it turns out, are not always pleasing. And since a person cannot even think that only he can make himself happy, he continues to stubbornly look for people or things that will finally constantly please him.
What happens to your loved one? And for some reason he becomes obliged to please his partner, who wants to be happy. The partner himself is not engaged in somehow pleasing himself, but waits for his loved one to begin to amuse him. And here the instructions begin: “Do this, bring that. Why don't you do this? etc. A person started a love relationship so that finally someone would make him happy. That is, you need a partner not to love him, but to please him, to help and give him everything you have. It turns out that a partner is needed so that he loves, pleases, helps and gives everything he has to the one who chose him. The result was a relationship in which a person fell into slavery: he owes his partner only because he agreed to date him. This is not happy!
- “Why can’t I do what I like?”
Women constantly criticize their men for drinking and smoking. Men constantly laugh at how carelessly women spend money on clothes. But why can't your loved one do what makes him happy? It turns out that you are criticizing the activity that gives your partner a feeling of happiness. Please note that your loved one does not require you to make him happy. He just wants to do what he enjoys doing. But since you don’t do this or consider it an unnecessary matter, you begin to criticize your partner’s hobby, demanding that he stop doing it. It turns out that you yourself are robbing your loved one of what brings him happiness!
In such a situation, you need to think about why your loved one cannot find another interesting activity that would make him happy. Moreover, ask yourself the question: is your partner happy in his relationship with you? After all, people often become drunkards or get carried away with shopping (as well as other activities) only because they are unhappy in love. What will happen if your loved one is happy? He will probably then want to hear your wishes regarding health and savings, so as not to harm the relationship with someone who is ready to please him.
Why can't your loved one make himself happy? Let him do whatever makes him happy. At least he will be happy and you will not become an enemy to your partner who is taking away his happiness.
Why does a man text other women?
There are dozens of reasons why a man or husband corresponds with another, and everyone has their own. It’s not for nothing that Leo Tolstoy wrote that “all happy families are alike, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” But at the heart of all the reasons, the main thing is one thing - if a man corresponds with other girls, it means that he is getting something that is not in the relationship. That is why, when a husband corresponds with another, the psychologist’s advice comes down to harmonizing relationships, and not to scandals with her husband or eliminating a rival.
So, let's look at the main reasons.
Reason 1. Looking for a mistress
He doesn't have enough sex, so he went in search of a mistress. A man corresponds with others in order to hook someone. Fortunately, it’s the 21st century—you don’t have to wander the streets and ask beauties how to get to the library.
Reason 2. He lacks communication
While you are rattling pots in the kitchen, he is bored, he has no one to chat with about the weather, tell him how today he took his grandmother across the road and saved the cat. You have heard about his exploits, so your man corresponds with other women who are interested in them.
One fine morning, your loved one will go to the toilet, forgetting to take his phone with him, and you will find on his screen “Hello, honey! How did you sleep?".
Reason 3. Midlife crisis struck
As soon as the midlife crisis hits, men begin to realize that they will soon be excluded from the League of Big Sex. It is clear that they are unlikely to want to go down in the annals of history for the fact that they remained faithful to Lyusya, three children and the cat Vaska all their lives. Here is a married man sitting on a dating site in order to finally take revenge on all the women and break more women’s hearts.
Reason 4. Wants to assert himself
So what if he is in a relationship or married, you have three children and a mortgage on his neck? He is still a male dog, at least in his dreams. This is the kind of man who continues to sit on a dating site in order to prove to himself that there is still gunpowder in the flask. He needs correspondence with another woman simply to assert himself.
Reason 5. He is a male Don Juan
There are some men who believe that they are polygamous and that’s it. Such a man or husband corresponds with another in a sober mind and strong memory. He goes through life, breaking women’s hearts and collecting “trophies”, and you are next to him, rather, because it’s convenient with you - and you can go out in public with you, and the house is tidy and there is food.
Reason 6. Correspondence with your ex
If a man is texting his ex, there are several options. If they have children together, then nothing can be done - they will communicate and date. But if there are no children, then perhaps some of them still have feelings and hope that their relationship will be renewed. By the way, many men believe that sex with exes doesn’t count, so keep your ears to the ground.
Reason 7. Friendship
You can believe or not believe in friendship between a man and a woman, but sometimes it takes place. This often happens when they have a common hobby that you are not involved in. Our advice to you in this case is to become involved already, otherwise the man will be taken away.
There are some men who believe that they are polygamous and that’s it
How to react to a girl talking to other guys?
It is a mistake to react negatively to absolutely all your friends of the stronger sex if they communicate with your girlfriend. Here they really can be just friends. Just because a girl is dating you doesn't mean she has to say goodbye to all her friends. In the same way, a guy is not obliged to say goodbye to his girlfriends if he is really only friends with them.
How to react to your girlfriend's friends? Calm, neutral or positive, as you wish. The main thing is that the girl is really friends with these guys. You can test this by offering to introduce them to you, sometimes even going with her to meetings with these guys. Friends do not hide from the other halves of their friends. If the guys really communicate with your girl, then they will be happy to get to know you and even chat.
Guys who are not actually friends with your girlfriend, but are interested in her and even want to take her away from you, will behave completely differently. They may tell her that they are friends with her, but in fact they may have a completely different attitude. Invite your girlfriend to chat with all her friends in her presence, go out with them whenever you want. If your friends don’t mind, then everything is fair. If someone does not want to get to know you or is against communicating with you, especially when you have not yet communicated with the person and have not yet become enemies, then something is unclean here.
Understand that a girl can communicate with other people of any gender. Your worries are understandable when a girl talks to guys. But what kind of relationship they have can be easily found out if you are not afraid to declare yourself and communicate with all her friends.
Inferiority complex
What else is the ulcer of jealousy based on?
On your own insecurities and complexes. Eternal comparisons of oneself with other men, or with ex-boyfriends of a girl can play a very cruel joke. Fear that the girl will find someone better than you or return to her ex. At the same time, for some reason we forget that the girl is already with us, which means she chose us instead of someone else. Each person is unique in their own way. If a woman is adequate, she will not rush from one to another, comparing and choosing.
Love is tested by time, as well as by the acceptance of a person with all his shortcomings. If your passion constantly reproaches you and compares you with others, then it’s a lost cause - this is not love.
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The first and most important thing in the fight against jealousy is to overcome your complexes and low self-esteem. The best option would be to contact a specialist psychotherapist who will help you find the roots of your experiences and get rid of them once and for all. You can even explain to the doctor what exactly worries you. Say it straight: “My girlfriend is texting other guys, and I’m very jealous, I don’t know what to do.” Psychologists often hear about such problems and will suggest the most correct solution.
Don't be jealous!
If your girlfriend communicates with other guys, you probably have a feeling of jealousy. However, if there are no reasons for jealousy, the girl is faithful to you, then you definitely need to get rid of your feelings.
Why is a person jealous of a partner towards other people of the same sex? Why is a person jealous even of those who are just drawn, photographed or filmed? This also includes the question of why you might be jealous of your ex-partner for his new passion?
All these questions include one feature: is a person jealous of a partner for another person who belongs to the same gender? That is, a woman is jealous of women, and a man is jealous of men. And here it no longer always plays a role whether you are jealous of your current or former partner. Why is this happening?
Jealousy towards members of the same sex manifests itself when a person is not confident in himself. In such cases, they often say: “He is more beautiful”, “He is the best”, “He is richer”, etc. That is, they compare themselves with the person who can claim to be your partner’s loved one. And jealousy occurs not because you are afraid of losing your partner, because in this case completely different emotions would manifest themselves, but because you consider yourself worthless, lower, less worthy of your partner than the other person.
So, why consider yourself unworthy? Why consider lack of wealth or less attractiveness as a reason to quit? Jealousy in this case is akin to fear, which simply forces you to protect yourself and your loved one. Your comparison with another person is a certain balance of power between two enemies, the results of which will show you exactly how to defend yourself. But should you wage a war where the decision is made by the person you are jealous of - your partner. After all, no matter what military position you take, it’s still up to him to decide with whom to build relationships. And it is much more interesting to have an alliance with a person who is confident that he is worthy of love and does not fight, fighting for a partner as if for a trophy.
Better show your girlfriend that you are confident and worthy of being loved. There is no need to wage war with other guys, as you will not present yourself in the best light (this will show your insecurity). Be calm and know that if your girlfriend loves you, she won't do anything that could ruin your relationship. After all, who would want to refuse an alliance with a person who is confident in himself!?
Real betrayal
It’s a completely different conversation if you catch your girlfriend engaging in intimate correspondence with kiss emoticons, or even explicit photos. Of course, if you see a correspondence in the style: a guy sent a photo of his penis, and the girl replied: “Oh, how beautiful, I want you,” then it’s time to tell what you think about her. Surely the lady will deny that there is nothing serious here, it’s just correspondence and nothing more. In fact, there can no longer be any compromise here. Today it’s virtual - tomorrow she’ll be fucking around the corner of your house.
The same thing applies to any other situation where the girl specifically cheated on you. This is the point. And it’s not even the other guy’s fault, because the girl made her choice herself. There is no point in going to punch someone in the face because the lady herself, of her own free will, left for someone else. Of course, such situations are always painful and nothing can be done about it - such is life. But there are still billions of other girls in this world, much more honest and moral, so you shouldn’t give up on all women. After all , it very often happens that betrayal makes you lose faith in people and begin to consider all girls as “prostitutes.”
Why is it important
Does anything happen during this friendship? If we are talking about a situation where you meet a girl and find out that she has many friends of the opposite sex, is there any danger? There is a danger. What is it?
For example, when you quarrel, sort things out, she is dissatisfied with something, she will cry about it. They will support her, tell her how bad you are. She may still refer to them. Moreover, you get a stable reason for a certain jealousy, because a woman who is friends with men does not feel the boundaries of what is acceptable and what is not. She can go somewhere with him, go somewhere. Do you want all these events? No.
Her friend is an ex
There are completely dubious stories when a girl communicates with her ex. She may sleep with a friend, or you will find out that they once had it. Once they had something, but it didn’t work out, and we decided that we were only friends, that our friendship was not worth losing.
This is all complete crap, you don’t even need to believe it, it’s all untrue. Is there a chance that something will happen again? Certainly. This can also happen at the moment when you quarreled or broke up.
My main advice is that if you find out about the presence of these friends who do not evaporate after your relationship begins, it is better not to get involved in this adventure.
How to understand that your wife is texting another man
Doubts and suspicions can creep in when the spouse’s usual behavior changes. And if she has secret correspondence, it will definitely manifest itself somehow:
- Long-term communication online . In the evenings and on weekends, she constantly sits at the computer or on the phone. Notifications of new messages are heard, she is actively typing something on the keyboard and is completely captivated by the activity.
- Emotional involvement . There is a difference between communicating with a friend, colleague and a virtual prince. Involuntarily, she will reveal the romantic overtones of communication in her behavior - blush, sparkle in her eyes, embarrassed smiles, laughter at his jokes.
- Changes in behavior . You can also notice changes in everyday life. A woman in love seems to be flying in the clouds, often checking her phone or PC for new messages.
- Nervous behavior . Trying to hide a virtual affair, a woman will be nervous when her husband approaches the correspondence. Put your phone away, close or switch tabs, set passwords on your device. It can break out if the spouse is nearby for a long time, but you need to answer your lover.
- Changes in relationships . But it’s difficult to say which way the changes will take. Out of guilt, some women surround their spouse with attention, care, love and seem to be ideal wives. Others compare their husband with a man from the Internet, are disappointed in him, and this manifests itself in groundless nagging, irritation and quarrels.
The wife's behavior will change if she corresponds with another man.
But these are only indirect signs that cannot be interpreted unambiguously. Moreover, many women begin to correspond with others during maternity leave. By the time the husband returns from work, they have already finished their virtual flirting and become exemplary wives again. So the spouse may never notice anything.
As usual they find out the truth
Usually the truth about correspondence on the side emerges completely by accident:
- A pop-up notification on your phone and computer with an intimate message.
- An unclosed page with correspondence when the wife urgently left the computer.
- The search history contains links to dating sites or men's pages on VK or other social networks.
- A random message sent to the legal spouse.
Life story: “I never suspected my wife of anything. He worked from morning to evening to provide us and our three children with a decent standard of living. We agreed that she doesn’t work and looks after the house and raises the children. It seemed to me that everything was working out perfectly. And then she caught a virus on her computer, started cleaning it and found correspondence from dating sites in her history. I met some of them while a nanny was looking after the children. My life was ruined."