TOP 7 ways to get your ex back after a breakup so that she understands her mistake

Is it necessary to return the girl at all?

Despite the strength of the initial impulse, this desire may turn out to be a mistake. Most likely, you didn’t break up out of nowhere.

If it was an impulsive gesture on her or your part, everything is a little simpler; you can cool down and decide to return the relationship.
But if they broke up due to a serious conflict, the chances are slim.

You can always contact a specialist who will help you deal with this problem once and for all. On the website psy-chat.ru, they will select a trusted psychologist for you in 5 minutes and you can have a 20-minute consultation. It's absolutely free!

The main thing you need to realize is that you broke up when you noticed something in the girl that you are not ready to put up with, that you cannot stand in her. Or maybe she noticed something like that in you. This means that you will return not to the loved one with whom you were before this event, but to the person with whom you cannot be together - by your own decision. This is why stories about getting back with exes end in failure in most cases.

There is also a factor of distrust - you have already separated once, which means that someone (or both) will always be a little in limbo. Will this happen again? How much is your (or her) word worth? After the first breakup, it will be much easier to decide on a second one - due to nerves and mistrust.

Therefore, there are only two cases when it is really worth getting your ex back:

you broke up over an obvious trifle and you love this girl. Whoever initiated the breakup
you can't let her go the first time. The thought that you need to return everything haunts you, and you need a second visit to make sure that the person is not yours and you need to break up with him

Therefore, think several times before you decide to act in such a way that the girl wants to return. Read the article on how to win a woman once and for all.

Top 7 ways to get your girl back

I share behavioral strategies that will help you regain the love and interest of your ex-wife or girlfriend. Choose one or mix several, but don’t try to apply everything at once - this will cause confusion rather than a desire to restore the relationship.

Be honest. The best strategy if you are really worried. Come to her or call her, tell it like it is. Think about what you are willing to do to get this relationship back, and say that too. Talk as much as possible - women love to listen, and it is important for them to understand what is going on with you. But do not forget that everything said must be true. If you promise something, keep it. Think in advance what you want to say, what you are ready for, spend at least a few days searching for the right words.
Show how the breakup affected you. This is pressure for pity, but if you frame it correctly and show how you really regret the breakup and suffer from it, there is a high chance of melting her heart and trying to continue the relationship. To produce the desired effect, you look unimportant, speak feelingly, but inaudibly and inappropriately, giving the impression of a person who has lost the most important thing in life.
Return to her differently. Contrasting previous strategy. Wait some time (more than a week), and be calm and confident during the conversation. Tell her that she is very dear to you, and that you have weighed everything and know how to solve the problems that caused you to break up. Emphasize that it is more important than some life principles. Behave like a person who has changed or decided to change: try not to do what usually infuriated her, at least at the stage of the first conversation. The longer you hold out, the greater the chance that everything will work out.
Make them jealous, and then meet them halfway. Make sure she sees you in the company of another girl or even several. Come across as someone who is trying to move on from a breakup in the company of others. Don’t drag out this game: after just a few days or a week, you can come and say that no one has ever had or will have as good a time as she does. In this case, she may be bribed by knowledge of your experience - you really preferred her to other girls.
Get out of her life. Right there, as soon as we separated. Fully. Finally and irrevocably. Don’t get in touch, don’t write or call yourself, don’t answer her. Break off contact as much as possible, do not cross paths or interact at all. Do not let anyone hear news about you - as much as possible. The girl will start to get bored, your complete absence will be a shock for her, and she herself will try to win you back. By deciding to part as friends, you give her a chance to get used to your absence. At least as a young man. And in this situation, she will be so uncomfortable that she herself will take a step towards you, and this way you will force her to return.
Remind her of something good. Write that you remembered one of the pleasant moments in your relationship. Describe it in detail and in such a way that she feels how warmly you remember it and treat her.
Act like a friend. You probably still have something in common - friends, hobbies, maybe even things. Continue to communicate, but do not show her any signs of attention - deliberately maintain a friendly distance. And when she herself wants to break it, let her do it, agree that you would also like to return everything.

How to get in touch after a breakup?

The simplest thing is to call her and make an appointment. If the girl starts to hesitate, break down and refuse in every possible way, stand your ground. You can say that you simply don’t have enough communication with her, that you want to talk “for the last time.”

By the way, women really appreciate it when a man not only knows how to convince with words, but also proves his aspirations with actions. So just try to buy a bouquet and wait for her near the entrance. An unexpected appearance will stun her and will not allow her to save face; she will instantly reveal her true emotions.

If she blocked you on social networks, added you to the blacklist on her phone, try to arrange a meeting through friends .

What needs to be done to get it back

There is a simple action plan that will help you avoid being scammed. You are unlikely to get a girl back if she doesn't want it. But by following this plan, you will do everything right and get the best quality result.

Be alone. At least a couple of weeks. Bring your feelings and thoughts into relative order, get over the breakup, think about everything.
Give yourself some attention. Devote these two weeks or more to activities that bring you joy. Enjoy life and freedom, do what you love, remember how bachelors live and why this lifestyle is also good.
Think about the reasons for the breakup. Where there was incompatibility, where patience ran out, where there was no way out. If we are talking about a girl who left you, think about what finally brought her down.
Contact her if after the first three points the desire to return everything to normal has not disappeared. Show a positive and light attitude when calling or texting, and talk about serious things when you meet.
Keep your face up when meeting. Act like you're going out for coffee with a friend—even if it's hard. Don't create drama. Show her the guy she fell in love with, not the guy she broke up with.
Continue seeing each other if you haven’t changed your mind even after the meeting. Follow your feelings - do you really need to return everything, or is it an obsession with an idea, or a hunter's instinct.
Lay out all the cards after a few irregular meetings. Tell them that you went through a breakup, came to conclusions, changed and still want to be together. Convince that you are working on yourself, that you have heard her words and are ready to change.
Having received consent, start working on the relationship to avoid previous mistakes and not make new ones. Talk about what is happening, gently criticize each other, and be patient.

General rules

How to correspond with your ex-partner:

Before you mindlessly use emoticons—fashionable graphic depictions of emotions—think about how they might be interpreted by the recipient. As soon as a relationship loses its former character and stability, an emoticon can “play a cruel joke.” Therefore, during correspondence, it is better not to skimp on words, but to reduce the number of cartoon stickers to a minimum.
Pay attention to spelling and punctuation of written language. Yes, it is not necessary to painstakingly calculate every comma, but it will be better for you that your ex-partner read exactly what you wanted to say, rather than jumping to hasty conclusions based on his own mood (based on an indistinct string of words).
Maintain a certain pace of correspondence.
Virtual communication should not be too fast and thoughtless, otherwise it can lead to overly intrusive communication. Therefore, it is advisable to conduct the conversation casually, without nervousness and tension, trying to maintain an optimal speed that is convenient for both parties.
Fix a specific information transfer limit. Determine for yourself the optimal volume of messages to maintain parity, appear cultural and tactful. However, you should not overdo it with abbreviations for the sake of the established framework and abuse monosyllabic phrases a la “clear/understandable.” Brevity and conciseness should also be within acceptable limits of reason.
Choose topics for correspondence wisely. If the interlocutor is minimally interested, do not put pressure or force him to communicate. Be prepared to make several attempts if communication is a must. Ask detailed questions, warm up the dialogue (without provocations!) and carefully monitor the reaction of your other half. In the absence of common ground, it will be difficult to build a dialogue through correspondence.
Manage the communication process, not only adapting to your interlocutor, but also taking the reins into your own hands, if circumstances and the “degree” of the conversation allow it. Try to catch changes in the communication process in a timely manner so as not to aggravate the situation, but rather to smooth it out.

What to write to a girl to get her back

Before you sit down to write a message, find out what should not be in it:

Outbursts of emotions and rudeness. You may actually hate your ex. But if you let her know about it and at the same time scold her somehow stronger, it is unlikely that she will ever want to talk to you again
Spam. A constant stream of messages about everything. Feelings, weather, memories, thoughts, plans
Drama-queen mode. Don’t write about the fact that she broke your heart, that you only experienced such pain as a child at the dentist, and now it’s a little worse, that you want to lose weight, that without her the world has become dim, and you have lost your zest for life. Don't humiliate yourself

If you still couldn’t resist and made some of these mistakes, write something like “Sorry, I wasn’t myself. In addition to the breakup, more troubles piled up, so I lost it. Good luck". Laconically ask for forgiveness and put an end to the correspondence with the last phrase.

It makes sense to wait about a month with the first message. By showing up early, you will be putting yourself in the weak position of pursuing the girl and giving her all the power to decide what to do with you and the relationship.

A month without communication will change your places:

it is she who will seek your attention,
worry why you don't respond to messages,
pursue and depend.

In addition, in a month you both will have time to cool down and understand a lot about each other and the relationship.

Remember a few rules of correspondence:

Don't respond to messages immediately. Wait from 15 minutes to a couple of hours so as not to show that you are waiting for her answers.
Answer concisely. Write something that will help continue the conversation, but avoid long texts about feelings, thoughts and events.
The past is in the past. Don’t start a showdown about relationships, don’t ask if she has someone now, don’t touch on conflicting topics. Talk about what's relevant and what interests her. Be sincere.

Here are five examples of messages that are suitable for starting communication and fit into all the stated rules:

"Hello. I'm planning to go on vacation to Turkey, I remember that you know good places there. I would be very grateful if you recommend anything. Maybe we can meet for coffee for 10 minutes?”
"Hello. I'm starting to renovate a room and don't know what to do in the end. Can you help a little with ideas? You've always been great at designing interiors. We can discuss this over a cup of coffee, it won’t take much time.”
"Hello. Do you remember the name of the restaurant we went to around October? I want to go there with my friend, but I forgot the name and where it is. You would be very helpful"
“I recently saw kids at an amusement park and remembered how we squealed on the roller coaster. Hope you are fine"
“Remember when we went out for the first picnic that season? And a butterfly landed on your knee, and you got scared. I still laugh at this moment, it’s one of the warmest memories of the past year.”

How to get a girl back if she has someone else

When your ex is no longer single, it may be more difficult to get her back.

If you broke up recently, then most likely she began dating someone in order to forget you and plunge into a new crush, instead of painfully going through the breakup.
If several months have already passed, then she could well come to her senses and consciously enter into another relationship - and then your chances are slim. Better register on the dating site EmilyDates and start a new relationship.

In such a situation, a man has two main levers: to prove better than his current partner and to remind him of how good it was together. You'll have to work hard on yourself and get rid of those habits that caused you to break up and that irritated her. It won’t hurt to find out what you might be better at than her new guy, what he might infuriate her in, so you can use this to your advantage.

To begin with, shorten the distance a little, appear sporadically in her life without the slightest hint of courtship or signs of attention.
Ask for advice, share news, take an interest in her life - unobtrusively.
Don't bring up past relationships and don't try to seem like a threat to your current ones.
Then close the distance further, become her friend and support, be perfect and do not pretend to be her lover.

At some point there will be a breakdown in her relationship, and out of weakness she will tell you about it. This is where you will pull out your trump cards: you will say that you have changed, rethought everything that happened between you, appreciate her no matter what and think that she deserves the best (try in advance and at this moment to demonstrate that the best is you).

Remind them of how good you had it together. Show and prove that you have changed and heard her. Most likely, she will become emotional, and you will be able to get her back.

How to get back a girl you left behind

It’s easier for a girl who dumped you on her own to change her mind. If you were the initiator of the breakup, the power over the future of the relationship remains in your hands. The partner is afraid of this - she doesn’t like that they can control her, move her away and bring her closer at will. Therefore, either she, out of strong feelings, will strive to return the relationship, or she will resist this as much as possible.

Your strategy is to convince her that you are not as scoundrel as you seem. You need to convince the girl that she is safe - and this can be difficult. Even if she wants you back, she will still be afraid that you will decide to leave her again.

Approach carefully: find out how she feels, give her time to suffer and get angry with you. At this time, do not get in touch, then check her well-being and apologize as pompously and pompously as possible. It’s difficult for an abandoned girl to believe in her worth and in your desires - convince her of them. Gestures, help, expensive gifts or promises - whatever she perceives better.

In any case, you will always have the opportunity to choose the best dating site and register on it to meet the girl you like.

Do you often feel the desire to get your ex back?
Were you able to build a long-term relationship the second time around?
Do you believe that you can find happiness twice with the same person?

How long should I wait?

The more time passes after breaking up, the less chance you have of returning the feelings of your beloved girl. While you are looking for the right moment, some other man may appear.

On the other hand, getting in touch immediately after a breakup is also a bad idea. You need to give yourself and her a little time to cool down your emotions and rethink what is happening a little. This is especially important if you parted with a scandal.

The smartest choice is to wait a week after the breakup and take action.