How to understand that a girl loves you?

It so happens that a girl is traditionally prescribed a quiet, passive model of behavior. Previously, any attempts to take the initiative and speak about your feelings directly were condemned.

Nowadays, girls are no longer so shy, they are not afraid of self-expression and leadership, but the majority, following tradition, try to appear modest. This is not bad, since it is modest behavior that often attracts us even more than shocking behavior. But in such a situation, a reasonable question arises: how to understand that a girl loves you?

How to check if you are loved?

There are moments that make it clear that sympathy is taking place. But love is a deeper and more complex thing; body language and words alone cannot do it. How can you tell if a girl loves you, if not by her actions?

You are her priority. A smart girl will never sacrifice herself for someone, but you occupy one of the first positions on her list of plans. A girl is more interested in spending time with you than hanging out with her friends or going shopping.
She listens to you. And he hears. If a girl is ready to understand your position in life, sympathizes with your failures and rejoices at your successes, then she probably loves you. Who needs the problems of an unloved person?
If some kind of force majeure suddenly happens, she is ready to help you. Of course, not to take on the whole problem, but to help with exactly what is preventing you from coping on your own.
She doesn't expect any answer from you. This is not about selflessness, but about the desire to give love. She loves only because she loves. Not to receive love in return. He just loves.
She's not jealous of you. It seems difficult to understand. “Jealousy is proof of love” is an extremely infantile statement. If a girl is jealous of you, then she either doesn’t love herself, or doesn’t really trust you, or all of the above.
The girl trusts you. Any healthy relationship is built on trust, and it is very difficult to earn and easy to lose.
The girl respects you and your boundaries. If she loves you, then she will not demand from you eternal company, gifts, attention, giving up hobbies and friends. And he won’t demand anything at all. A loving girl will give you complete freedom, because she can understand that harassing something is an element of psychological violence. If he loves, he will not rape.

Here's how to understand that a girl truly loves. Not by the number of meetings she makes for you, not by the number of gifts, not by the taste of the meat pie and not by the depth of her neckline. Online communication is also unlikely to be a guide. How to understand that a girl loves you by correspondence? Online communication is just a set of templates, devoid of true emotionality. Love is on the inside, not on the outside.

Comments:

18.10.2017
Maria:
Read also: Ethical dilemmas in psychological counseling
A man once met me on the Internet. He was from my city. And, as they say, right off the bat, he began checking me. He immediately invited me to a barbecue, to go out into nature, set a day for the meeting, and promised to take me home by taxi or... to spend the night in his house, because there are five rooms there. I refused such a first date. And now he simply pursues me, realizing that I am a worthy and decent woman.
19.10.2017
Karina:
I had a young man who didn’t let me live in peace with his checks. I would send SMS messages myself, and then make scandals that I had someone to see my reaction. He asked his friend to keep an eye on me, but he, like a bull in a china shop, gave himself away on the very first day. I couldn’t stand it and left and in the end I still remained guilty, it turns out I had someone, so I left.
09.11.2017
Anna:
It’s interesting that I’ve heard more than once from friends that women are very difficult to understand. But after reading this article, I can say with confidence that men are no better. They do the same stupid things and checks, this jealousy and so on. Thank God I personally have not encountered such a harsh test. I remember my future husband called me from a friend’s number and was silent, these calls were of no use and he calmed down over time, probably realized that I didn’t need anyone anymore.
21.11.2017
Tamil:
To me it always looked like a kindergarten. I don’t know, or maybe I figured it out quickly, or maybe the guys had friends who weren’t very skilled, but every time I understood what was happening and, accordingly, behaved exactly as needed. I don’t know, guys don’t know how to do all these checks secretly and quietly so that the opposite sex doesn’t guess. Although girls also cannot always do everything correctly and not mess up. In general, this moment when a relationship is just beginning and testing the waters is always very intriguing.
08.12.2017
Evgeniya:
I disagree with several points. Scold for bad habits? Most attempts at such abuse are perceived by a man as “sawing.” I don't know any men who like it or are okay with it. If he smokes, it's his choice. He decided so himself. And the fact that a girl is jumping nearby, wailing about her health, can only cause bewilderment. His choice is his responsibility. When you scold him for spending money on nonsense. Seriously? He spends his own money, not mine. I wanted to buy a helicopter - well done, I played with it, then abandoned it, I can sell/give it to someone else. I bought a computer toy. Well, okay. Another thing is that if your boyfriend often allows himself to do this, I think he himself is not yet in the mood for a serious relationship.
08.12.2017
Yuri:
Agree. Men come with different characters. Some consider caring to be “nagging”, others – as one of the necessary feminine qualities that will be useful when raising children.

21.12.2017

Elena:

I don't remember such checks. A friend of my beloved shows me signs of attention with his full approval. I am only required not to provide them to him more than to himself. Yes, I don’t want that myself.

31.10.2018

Olya:

A man I know was checking me to see if I had someone else. Called at one o'clock in the morning. I ask: “Are you bored?” He says: “No.” A strange man.

Perhaps she is using you?

Everyone has their own ways to survive and take their place in the sun. There are all sorts of situations, so you shouldn’t be judgmental about it, everyone can be understood. But no one will be pleased to realize that they are dating him for self-interest. How can you tell if a girl loves you or is using you?

If she is heavily dependent on you financially, this is already a reason to think about it. It is not difficult to understand that cases of selfless love between a provincial woman and a successful businessman are quite real, but, to put it mildly, they are few.
If you are her boss, and the girl makes it clear that she wants a promotion and makes unambiguous hints, then the likelihood that she is using you is extremely high.
A girl is definitely manipulating you if she denies you intimacy when you don’t indulge her whims. I didn’t buy a fur coat, I didn’t give her a phone, I didn’t take her to Nice - there will be no sex.
There is a high probability that a young lady is using you if she turns to you only when she needs something.

Method 10.

An excellent method to check a girl’s sympathy is through gestures. Just make a noticeable gesture and see if she repeats it or not. It is important that the gesture is comfortable both physically and psychologically. For example, you are sitting at the same table and you all have a glass. You can take it by the leg and start twisting it. You can also, for example, take a writing pen and start playing with it. If she likes you, then the girl will instinctively begin to repeat these simple actions.

These methods can really “give away” a girl. Apply them and it will be easier for you to “read” girls.

Does it happen that a girl hides her feelings?

Oh yes, female secrecy is legendary.
Negative old experiences can undermine a girl’s trust both in men and in romantic and close relationships in general, so she is in no hurry to be the first to open her heart. It is also worth understanding that from childhood, remembering Tatyana Larina, girls are told that if they themselves start talking about their feelings for a man, they will suffer a sad fate: they will lose all interest in them and will try to get rid of them as quickly as possible. Since many girls are not without fear of loneliness, they try to be good to everyone so as not to be abandoned. Hence the adherence to outdated rules of “decency”, which only suppress what is inside.

How to understand that a girl loves you, but hides her feelings? Outwardly, a young lady may act completely indifferent or extremely polite, but this does not mean that she does not feel anything for you. Try to watch her. Some gestures, characteristic features of behavior, phrases will definitely give her away, unless, of course, the girl has undergone many years of training in the school of self-control.

The desire to show concern

Every woman has a maternal instinct. When she meets a man she likes, she strives to take care of him and become a close person to him. A girl in love tries to put her beloved’s clothes in order, feed him and provide all possible help.

Sometimes attempts to show concern are not limited to one man. The woman begins to take an interest in the affairs of his relatives and friends, supports them, helps them. This is how she attracts attention to herself and tries to please everyone around her lover.

How to find out about her real feelings: test

A test as such will not help in how to find out if a girl loves you. Before you start testing the young lady, you should understand that few people like experimenting on themselves.

You can, of course, go to the hospital and time the time it takes for her to reach your room, but it’s better to stop playing children’s games and test normally. But yourself. Your attentiveness and observation.

So, a girl really likes you if:

When talking, she looks at your face. It doesn’t have to be straight to the point; for many people this is quite difficult. The main thing is not through you, not into your wallet, not into your phone, and not onto your nails.
When she listens to you, her lips are slightly parted. Essentially, this is readiness for a kiss.
When communicating in a cheerful company, when someone jokes, she looks at you, at your reaction. The girl will subconsciously be guided by the reaction of the guy she is interested in
She smiles at you sincerely and laughs at your jokes. This is a moderately wide smile, in which almost all facial muscles are involved: this is made clear by the “crow’s feet” near the eyes. This smile does not look rehearsed, it does not appear too quickly and does not disappear immediately after you turn away.
She straightens her clothes and hair when communicating. If she straightens her hair, her arms rise up, revealing her breasts. This is a subconscious sign of demonstrating your sexuality.
If during a conversation her hands are near her waist, this is an almost direct, but subconscious hint to continue communication in a more intimate setting. This is how she focuses your attention on her hips and genitals.

Gestures and facial expressions

A girl who hides her feelings is first revealed by her facial expression. When talking to the object of her adoration, a representative of the fair sex hides her eyes, purses her lips, and lowers her head.

Her posture also changes. The back becomes straight, the shoulders are straightened, and the body is always turned with the chest towards the guy. A woman in love will never turn her back on the man she is interested in.

In addition, you can understand whether a girl likes you by the following non-verbal signs:

In his presence she blushes or becomes pale;
Her hands are always busy with something - fiddling with the hem of her dress, cuffs, collar, twirling her hair around her fingers, touching her face;
She cannot stand still, she needs to constantly move, step from foot to foot, dangle them or pick the ground with the toe of her shoes.

Signs that your ex-girlfriend still loves you

How do you know if your ex-girlfriend loves you?
After all, there are many such situations when a couple breaks up due to some strange circumstances in which feelings do not go away. You can understand that she loves you if:

Communicates with you in the same way as before. He doesn’t try to ignore you or seduce you again, but talks to you calmly and maintains a dialogue. A wise, loving girl will not manipulate or throw tantrums: she is not a capricious child.
Still helpful if you need help with something.
Doesn't spread gossip about you to everyone. There are no attempts to denigrate you in the eyes of mutual friends if she loves you.
Doesn't throw tantrums because you found another girl, no scenes of jealousy. She is able to understand and accept the situation.
She doesn’t hold a grudge against you because you broke up/ because she spent the best years of her life on you/ because you’re a scoundrel. Again, she is able to understand that the relationship involves a couple.

Before you realize that the girl still loves you, think about whether it is worth entering into this relationship a second time without working through the mistakes of your previous attempt.

There is still the easiest way to find out if a girl loves you after a breakup: ask her. If you separated amicably, she will let you know that the feelings remain.

Unusual behavior

Every girl who feels attracted to a man always tries to draw his attention to herself. To achieve this, representatives of the fair sex do the strangest things. For example, women in love:

Rude;
They pretend to be a sissy;
They get offended for no reason;
They begin to ignore;
They try to offend or tease, and they do it publicly;
They behave clumsily, twist their ankles, drop objects hoping for help;
They flirt demonstratively with other guys;
Asking for things too often;
Conduct the conversation in a sarcastic tone.

To some, such behavior may seem like a sign of poor upbringing, but in fact, the lady is simply trying to stand out among her rivals. If a colleague, friend or girl you know from school suddenly begins to behave inappropriately towards one young man, it means that she has fallen in love with him.

How to make a girl fall in love with you?

You should understand that you cannot be nice by force. You can't get a young lady with obsessiveness and pressure, and if you do, it won't be for long. But you can increase the likelihood.

Let her know that you are interested in her. These could be banal bouquets of flowers, an invitation to take a walk or discuss something.
Get into her hobbies. It is difficult for a girl not to love a guy at all with whom she has a favorite thing in common. Dancing, cinema, hand-to-hand combat - it doesn’t matter. Try to understand and love her hobby.
Help her. Actions. Give me a ride home if it's raining outside. Give her some tea if she comes in from the cold.
Spend time with her. Don’t be afraid to invite her to places that interest you two, but don’t overdo it either. She should have enough time for herself, and the monotony becomes boring. Try to understand her tastes and choose an event that both will enjoy.
Don't play with her in fits of ignoring, jealousy, indifference, etc. This looks more like a child's manipulation than the actions of an adult man. Behave according to the situation.
Give all sorts of things for no reason. The very fact of receiving something for free is very attractive.

At the initial stages, gifts should not make it clear to the girl that they are trying to bribe her. We need something good, sincere. A book, a bag of red tea, gummy bears, calipers, a piece of jadeite, a jigsaw. It's a matter of taste, you never know what someone likes.

Manifestation of jealousy

Even if a woman does not talk about her love, she will still be jealous. Jealousy is impossible to hide and is always visible not only to the man towards whom it is manifested, but also to everyone around him.

A girl in love is irritated by everything that concerns her rivals - conversations about other women, a guy’s communication with his colleagues or, worst of all, with her friends, memories of ex-wives, and so on.

Sometimes she is so jealous that she begins to test a man’s loyalty and comes up with all sorts of provocations for him. He even keeps him under surveillance. If you catch her in spying, she will blush, turn pale, and will not be able to properly explain what is happening to her.

The most important thing is to rid the girl of feelings of jealousy in time, otherwise everything will reach the point of absurdity. You need to muster up the courage and talk openly with her. If the love is mutual, you need to tell her about it, or stop communicating once and for all.

How to understand that a girl doesn't love you?

She is polite, neat, tactful.
She smiles at you, talks to you and looks beautiful. Is this love? Is not a fact. How to understand whether a girl loves you or not just by appearance? No way. Only approximate. But if she really doesn't love you, you will see it and understand it. Her smile looks more automatic than real. Her conversations with you are more like small talk than an exchange of information between two interested people. Actually, that's all. If she doesn’t love you, her behavior is completely neutral, you can understand that.

And sometimes it happens that a young lady does not perceive a guy as an individual of the opposite sex. She can share so many things with you, knowing that you will be able to understand and advise. Up to love failures. If the roles are set in such a way that you feel like a “girlfriend,” then she is unlikely to consider you as a potential partner. To some extent, she loves you, but clearly not in the context that you want.

Image and style

A girl in love tries with all her might to please her chosen one, even if she has not yet had a conversation with him about starting a relationship. The first thing that changes in it is its appearance:

New and beautiful clothes are bought;
Makeup becomes bright and catchy;
She carefully chooses perfumes, deodorants, shampoos, etc.;
A new hairstyle is chosen;
The girl regularly makes masks and begins to take care of her skin.

But sometimes it happens that a woman who likes a man is afraid that he will find out about her feelings and laugh at her. Then everything happens the other way around. She tries to blend in with the crowd, stops caring about her appearance, and chooses simple and modest clothes.

Psychological methods for detecting lies

There is a separate branch in the science of observing human reactions. She analyzes behavior, identifying symptoms of lies or understatement. You can use the technique during a conversation, asking leading questions, or taking specific actions. In the first case there will be a facial reaction, in the second - behavior and non-verbal gestures. One should proceed from the opposite. If there is a reason for jealousy, the girl will not blame the guy for looking for a convenient reason for quarrels.

There were cases when partners checked each other using an allegedly found page on a dating site. The young ladies, obviously aware of their boyfriend’s jealousy, quickly found confirmation that this was his doing. And the situation changed radically: suspicions arose among the weaker sex. Either the man wanted to humiliate the woman, or put her in an indecent light, or break up, but not on his own initiative.

Polygraph test7

If a man doesn’t know how to check a girl, it’s enough to start a serious conversation about taking a polygraph. This method is used by couples who have lived together for a long time or have been married for several years. Both should understand that such a method is aimed at clarifying the relationship with the involvement of a third party. In this case, the woman agrees to be checked when the man explains his position. It will be difficult to convince her.

But if a couple values their relationship and wants to help each other in a difficult situation, the girl will hear the man’s arguments and will not be offended. A possible refusal should not be taken as a reason to hide vicious relationships or infidelity. The psychology of the question lies in sincerity, and when a man makes such a proposal to his wife or fiancee, he must be ready to prove his fidelity.

A polygraph test consists of using sensors that help distinguish between lies and truth. It is worth making a series of questions that interest a man. Incorrect wording can provoke the subject, which will affect the correctness of the given answer. In return, the man can also take a test to answer questions about why he decided to see a polygraph examiner, what prompted him to make this decision, and why he is tempting fate.

According to statistics, married couples in 79% of cases are ready to undergo any tests of fidelity in order to maintain their relationship. As a rule, the majority of this number are women who want to prove their innocence to their spouse. Men rarely refuse. This is the only way to understand some behavior.

If the spouse does not want to hear about testing, it is probably convenient for him: to live with the thought of betrayal, even if it is not proven. Of course, there are alternative ways to find out the circumstances that led to the idea of possible betrayal. This is a heart-to-heart conversation.

But, as practice shows, both sides are afraid: the woman is afraid to tell the whole truth, the man does not want to listen to the reasons that led the girl to this outcome, since part of the blame falls on him. Therefore, you need to learn to listen to each other in any difficult situations so as not to push the relationship to the limit.

Source: intrigue.dating