Love at first sight: ALL the signs of this feeling and the opinion of psychologists

Imagine that you are sitting on a subway train, walking down the street, or drinking coffee in a cafe. You look up for a moment and accidentally meet the eyes of a person, instantly attracted to him. It could be purely physical, or they could even remind you of someone. You may also be drawn to the way they are deeply involved in the activity without allowing any distractions to influence them. Whether it's reading a book, journaling, or talking to the person they're talking to.

You have no idea why, but your heart is telling you to go out and start a conversation or you will miss this opportunity. Even after they leave your sight or go in a different direction, you can't walk all day without thinking about them. It's like something came over you: an obsession? Just your wild imagination? Or is it love at first sight?

It may seem difficult at first, but if you put your mind to it, you never know... it could end up being something really special!

From movies to reality

And many films have been created about this kind of love. They so vividly and colorfully describe the chance encounters that became fatal for hearts in love, that in life they involuntarily begin to expect a similar scenario. Everything should happen in book or screen mode:

suddenly collided in a long corridor, dropped books or bags from their hands, bent down together to collect them, accidentally touched hands and...together felt a current of mutual sympathy, which gives rise to love at first sight;
or they found themselves together in a crowded subway car and, having met their eyes once, sent each other invisible, but almost visibly tangible messages of love with their eyes all the way, then got off at the same stop to continue to walk through life, holding hands and in the same direction;
or a new colleague joined the team and already at the stage of general acquaintance you felt those sparks that aroused interest on your part and attracted the attention of your chosen one, and then joint projects and unity of opinions, hobbies, plans and priorities, etc.

There are more than enough love at first sight scenarios in cinema. But you shouldn’t expect them to repeat themselves in life, depending on the situation, circumstances and your reactions. There is also a place for love at first sight in life, but it will happen differently for everyone. And it will be the beginning of an individual story, the end of which will depend only on the strength and sincerity of mutual feelings and the desire to be together. As a result, you will either break up, or in your old age you will be able to tell your grandchildren about your first meeting, which will be no worse than that of Hollywood stars.

Avoid hasty decisions

Almost 80% of cases do not have time to develop into a lasting union. It is necessary to realize that true feelings are tested by time. Partners go through thick and thin, realizing that they are suitable for each other. The protagonists of most stories about fleeting love wore rose-colored glasses. They idealized their partner without thinking about the consequences.

To avoid making an irreparable mistake, it is important to think three times before entering into a new relationship. It is advisable to analyze the nature of the satellite, identify negative aspects and draw a conclusion.

What is the role of gaze in the emergence of feelings?

But first, let’s figure out why they say this about a suddenly surging feeling and what the role of the eyes is in such insight in relation to another person. Firstly , the eyes are the brain’s first assistant to recognize all information about the world around us. Secondly , this is an organ that begins to work fully already in the womb - from the seventh month of fetal development. Thirdly , biophysicists note an anatomically and functionally borderline position of the eyes, which provides a connection between the perception of the external world and its internal assessment. Thus the eyes embody mediation and contact. It is not for nothing that eyes have vivid symbolism in the religion and culture of many nations. Fourthly , it turns out that you can tell about your feelings or learn about the power of self-love by looking at your partner’s eyes. Lovers want to look longer into the eyes of their other half and often, with the help of ardent glances, signal their sympathy, enthusiasm and passion. Well, fifthly , eyes also attract maximum attention. Many people judge another person by their eyes, often falling in love with their depth and openness of gaze. And this is probably why in the works of many poets and artists the eyes are given the role of the most expressive part of the face and the most pronounced evidence of the presence of feelings.

Love at first sight according to biologists

Love at first sight is no exception to the scientific approach, and representatives of different teachings are also trying to understand its nature. It is common for biologists to compare the relationships between people with the animal world. They quite reasonably believe that men and women choose their partners by smell. Or rather, basing your decision on pheromones that are produced by one person and act directly on the receptors of another person. Such attraction at the level of subconscious smell can cause quick sympathy for a person and even cause love at first sight. Biologists also point to the possibility of subconscious choice of a partner at the level of primary instincts, according to which in the fauna males choose a female, and in the human world, men and women look for a partner to procreate. Such instinctive attraction and passion also often causes love at first sight.

Is it dangerous to fall in love at first sight?

Falling in love at first sight is playing with fire. One impression is not enough to understand a person. It’s good if the romance remained at the level of interest, without developing into marriage or family. After all, this is fraught with great stress and trauma for children. However, it is known: those who do not take risks do not win. Is it possible to understand whether a person is worthwhile without succumbing to emotions? In some cases, the game is worth the candle, but this can only be learned through experience.

Love at first sight according to psychologists

Psychologists are more skeptical about love at first sight, understanding this feeling more as sexual attraction or purely spiritual intimacy. At the same time, they are absolutely sure that love at first sight is more common among emotional people with strong energy. Such people simply need to have a person nearby on whom they can throw out all their energy and share emotions with them. Therefore, psychologists advise not to rush to conclusions and not to rush to mistake ordinary love for love, which is characteristic of emotional individuals, but to approach the most important feeling in your life more judiciously and responsibly.

Tips for love sobriety

The desire for love should create a unique feeling of euphoria and give you energy or a special optimism that promotes the belief that happiness exists. It also means that you have found someone who treats you with respect and with whom you can develop a stable, balanced relationship.

It may seem unlikely, but these things often happen after a few meetings. Therefore, if after your first date or meeting you show all the signs listed earlier, then be sure to take a step back to evaluate your feelings.

Avoid hasty decisions

Many people end up getting so caught up in their emotions that it prevents them from thinking straight. It is important not to make hasty decisions or actions based on the illusion that you have found love on your first date or first meeting with another person. Ask yourself, can this really be called love or is it just a strong attraction or perhaps even a passing passion?

Also, be sure to appreciate the other person's feelings. Sure, you may feel like it’s love at first sight, but is it really the other person experiencing the same feelings?

Don't get carried away

The main rule regarding love euphoria at first sight is not to get carried away by emotions or feelings. It's easy to let your heart take the reins while your mind sits in the backseat. If you are not careful with these feelings, you can harm not only yourself, but also the other person.

For example, to suffer if feelings are far from reciprocated or do not develop over time into true love. Or bitterly regret in the future your haste or impatience today. So try to pay attention to your mind and heart - it's for your own good.

Ideal woman or man

"Lamur" makes you consider someone as your ideal man or woman from the first meeting. As a person who meets all your standards or expectations.

Therefore, in the first meetings, it is very important to establish whether that person has the same life aspirations that you have. You need to know whether he wants to have children or not, does he intend to start a family or does he want to remain a “bird of free flight”?

These are questions that will inevitably arise during the course of a relationship. Therefore, it is important to clarify them from the very beginning to avoid further disappointments. Such conversations also serve as proof of whether your relationship is love at first sight or not. After all, the stronger the initial compatibility, the more likely it is that the relationship will flourish.

(We advise you to get acquainted with a selection of questions for a guy that would be worth asking before developing a serious relationship).

Chemistry

When you are in love, you feel that this person fits your model of an ideal partner, as stated earlier. From this point on, the biochemical reactions of the brain contribute to the fact that the need to develop a relationship with him becomes a huge desire for you.

On a physical level, it is normal to feel "shaky knees" due to biochemical reactions, which equates to a mixture of desire, physical and intellectual attraction. However, you should be careful about potential mirages. Because they can give you false impressions and lead to disappointment.

Therefore, even when experiencing strong euphoria, you need to try not to lose your head and be patient. This will allow you to get to know each other better and also learn more about each other.

Conclusion

Imagine that you are sitting in a cafe, walking down the street, or standing in the crowd at a concert. You look up or turn your head and see a person to whom you are immediately drawn. It seems inexplicable, but your inner self is telling you to get to know this person. After which you simply cannot stop thinking about him. What is it: unhealthy obsession or love?

What attracts you and makes you completely forget about everything happening around you, focusing on this person? You can read scientific articles about whether love at first sight exists or not, but nothing can be more true than your own experience. Even if it was a fleeting feeling of falling in love, it will always be present in your mind.

Love at first sight from the point of view of esotericists

There is also an interesting aspect of understanding love at first sight from the point of view of esotericists, magicians and predictors of the future. Some of them talk in this case about meeting their soul mate - a real soul mate. Others attribute this attraction to the possibility of transmigration of souls. In this case, the meeting of lovers will be a continuation of the love between these people in their past incarnations. In any case, esotericists advise not to ignore meeting a person who from the first minute seems very close and familiar to you for a long time. This may indeed turn out to be a gift of fate and a destiny from above. But preserving these feelings and carrying them throughout life is the concern of those who fell under the spell of love at first sight.

So, what must coincide for a feeling to appear?

There is another quite logical and interesting hypothesis, which explains that love at first sight is not a completely chaotic phenomenon that appears in your life. To start, it is necessary that at least three factors coincide:

Matching your brainwave frequencies. According to biophysicist Alexander Gurvinevsky, such a resonance can be observed in the form of stopping time, expanding space, a lightning flash, etc. At the same time, getting on the same wavelength as your partner is also determined by involving in the process the deep structures of the brain and the pineal gland, which is responsible for telepathy, intuition and the development of the sixth sense. This is precisely what can explain the fact that after a minute of eye contact with a stranger, you acutely feel closeness to him and can no longer imagine your life without him.
Similarity of facial proportions. This feature was noticed by British artist Susie Mellin, who developed this theory using the example of the couple Princess Diana and Prince Charles. Thus, by facial features, or rather, by their proportions, you can determine whether a person can interest you or whether you can evoke romantic feelings in him in the form of love at first sight.
Inner readiness for love. Thus, according to Italian psychologist Francesca Alberoni, love cannot flare up in the eyes of a person who is currently in a happy relationship or struggling with his personal problems. For a new feeling, there must be a willingness to change your life, discard the experience of past loves and completely open up to a new meeting.

So, if you do not find the listed factors in yourself, it will be difficult to achieve their complete coincidence and it is foolish to count on a gift of fate in the form of love at first sight.

Advantages and disadvantages

The positive aspect of a sudden meeting that turns the world upside down is a high tone, an increase in the body's reserves, and an extraordinary surge of inspiration.

At this time, the girl unnoticed by herself loses up to 10 kilograms of excess weight in a month, the man, who has never liked sports, goes to the gym, plows to the point of exhaustion, wanting to quickly get in shape.

If you do not succumb to the tricks of the body, transforming energy in the right direction, you will be able to achieve success in pumping up your body and intellect, and make a breakthrough in work and creativity.

The disadvantages of surging passion affect people with a weak will. They stop sleeping, eating, and forget about all distractions: school, family, work, friends. Communicating with a lover for more than 20 minutes becomes unbearable; all conversations are conducted on the same topic of the object of adoration.

It is dangerous to make fateful, responsible decisions during this period. A hasty marriage after hormonal surges subside and sex becomes less violent turns out to be a fatal mistake in some cases.

It’s good if the couple doesn’t have time to have a child. A lover easily refuses excellent offers to change jobs if this involves moving to another city and separation from his beloved. Rational arguments and thoughts do not find a response in the “inflamed” brain.

When not to trust Cupid's arrows

There are several options for dating and attraction to the opposite sex, which can be mistaken for love at first sight, although in fact they can be explained by completely different reasons:

Narcissistic narcissists can be attracted to individuals whose behavior or appearance makes them fall in love with themselves. In this case, we are not talking about any feelings for another person. And very soon these relationships will end due to the inability to appreciate the personality in a partner, to see and notice his merits, and not just pay attention to his mirror image;
resemblance to parents. Childhood affection (“I will grow up and marry my mother/marry my father”) very often leads to the fact that such people will be subconsciously attracted to representatives of the opposite sex with similar facial features, timbre of voice and manners. Of course, in the future your partner will prove that he is completely different from your parent, which will cause your displeasure and irritation with this choice. Therefore, here we also cannot talk about true love at first sight.
searching for replacements for former partners. Often the gaze stops at a person who resembles an unhappy former love. In this case, too, we are talking about the substitution of concepts and the desire to see in a person something that a priori cannot be in him. As a result, there will be disappointments again, because the new chosen one will not be able to meet your requirements and the desire to make him essentially a clone of your ex.

Reasons and scientific basis for this fact

The phenomenon of love at first sight is of interest to many; research is devoted to it all over the world. Modern science has provided a partial explanation for instant attraction.

Everything for posterity

Nature is a wise lady; she doesn’t give anything “just like that.” One version of why instant attraction arises between some people is based on genetic compatibility.

The brain identifies a partner as ideal for reproducing healthy, strong, viable, numerous offspring. In order to start the process of childbirth, it gives the owner a set of factors necessary for sympathy and desire for copulation - pure physiology.

What are the understandings and predictions of instant sympathy and attraction?

What should we even think about love at first sight? Can it become a feeling for life? These issues are constantly being studied in different countries. In this case, different assessment methods are used - from surveys, testing and to organizing first dates. And all just to understand such a concept as love at first sight. By the way, the results of such studies speak in favor of this feeling. Of the 400 women and men interviewed in the Netherlands who were matched for potential relationships, the majority confirmed that attraction sparked within the first meeting. In describing their feelings and emotions, they indicated all the symptoms characteristic of the feeling of euphoria from falling in love - rapid heartbeat, joy, emotional uplift, etc. Even more significant results were obtained by a survey conducted by Dr. Earl Naumann in America. More than one and a half thousand representatives of different races and religions took part in his study, most of whom also gave an affirmative answer to the question about the possibility of love at first sight. The same scientist also proved that the chance of falling in love at first sight increases to 60%, provided that you believe in this possibility of starting a strong and sincere relationship. As for the forecasts of love itself, here, as in any relationship, everything will depend on both partners, their desire to be together and go through life in the same direction.

Lust or love?

Helen Fisher points out that love and lust in the brain are controlled by completely different areas of the brain, although they are often activated simultaneously. In a study conducted at Syracuse University, it was discovered that the hormones responsible for the experience of love can reach the brain in 1/5 of a second.

This means that our brain is capable of falling in love almost at lightning speed, in fact, at first sight. But what happens then in our head, between the first fractions of a second and three minutes at the first meeting?

Recognizing the symptoms of love at first sight

How can you understand that a great and bright feeling has covered you after your first date or acquaintance? To do this, you should assess your condition and consider the following signs:

uncharacteristic shyness and feeling of embarrassment;
the appearance of blush on the cheeks, indicating a surge in hormones and increased heart rate;
the emergence of a feeling of kinship of souls, being on the same wavelength in any issue and the feeling that you have known this until recently stranger for many years;
the predominance of thoughts about a joint future - from planning pastimes, recreation, to drawing idealistic pictures of a future family life, common children, etc.;
a surge of positive emotions, which is often described as a feeling of “butterflies in the stomach” that occurs both when meeting a loved one and when remembering and thinking about him.

What is sympathy at first sight?

There is so much controversy around this concept that it is difficult to accept any one point of view. Definitely, sympathy at first sight is a feeling that connects people and gives them a chance to build happiness together. Nevertheless, if such a feeling arises, it is necessary to soberly assess the situation, as they say, “if you fall in love at first sight, take a second look,” since the first impression often overshadows some moments.

Looking for the benefits of meeting your person

Oddly enough, a spontaneous uncontrolled feeling (which, by the way, can very well be the foundation of a strong relationship) has many advantages for life:

intuitive correctness of choice - it’s not for nothing that they say that the first decision often turns out to be the most correct and correct. So in this case - the first thoughts and feelings coming from the heart can become the key to future successful relationships, without the need to continue searching for your person and making new mistakes;
presence of positive emotions in life. In this case, everything connected with your loved one will bring joy and positive emotions - meetings, correspondence, calls, joint vacations, memories, dreams, etc. At the beginning of a relationship, happiness hormones are produced to the maximum, which do not decrease throughout happy love at first sight;
increased attention to one's appearance and behavior. It is quite logical that you want to please your partner and meet him according to all criteria. Therefore, many guys begin to actively pump up their muscles, girls go on diets and visit beauty salons, many sign up for various courses, improving their erudition and knowledge, wanting to become even better in the eyes of their chosen one;
saving money and time , which cannot be compared at all with long-term swinging relationships, when love is born from many years of friendship. With love at first sight, everything happens much faster, and to understand that you are in love, you need much less dates and all the expenses associated with them;
efficiency of registration of relations. With love at first sight (especially with mutual love!), partners are immediately confident in their feelings and they do not need to look closely for years and check whether this person is suitable for them in life.

Don't forget about the disadvantages of hasty decisions

unpreparedness for living together - falling in love and loving does not mean accepting a person with all his shortcomings and habits. That is why, knowing each other little, lovers begin to discover the other side of their partners, very often not being ready to accept their unpleasant sides;
burnout of love on an emotional level. If initially all love at first sight was tied to sexual relations, then very soon there may be disappointment in a person who, outside of sex, is completely uninteresting and does not evoke the proper emotions;
evidence of a partner's frivolity. Yes Yes! If you know for sure that before meeting you, your chosen one had a relationship built according to the same scheme with love at first sight, then be prepared that your frivolous and loving guy will just as easily look for new emotions for his life;
failure of the chosen one to meet expectations. Falling in love first of all with appearance and manners, over time you will learn more deeply the character traits, life principles and plans of a person. And here, too, disappointment may await many, from which no one is immune. Consider this another risk of starting a love-at-first-sight relationship and take a good look at your chosen one until you are completely immersed in new feelings;
lack of reciprocity. Such love at first sight is the most difficult case, which is difficult to agree with and which is very difficult to experience and forget. If your chosen one is free, you can try to interest him and even invite him on a date first. If he is married or in a relationship, the best solution would be to forget him and move on to something else, seeking help from a psychologist if necessary. And the best solution would be to travel and relax in another city and country. And who knows, maybe it is there that you will meet your soul mate - that acquaintance that is destined from above and which you will also immediately recognize at first sight.

Is it possible to fall in love at first sight? Life stories

Evgeniya

My husband says he had “love at first sight” for me and even “oh, that’s my future wife” at first sight.
Nothing sparked for me, but an interest awoke that has been day after day, month after month, year after year, for almost eight years now. It’s as if our threads of care, responsibility, warmth, forgiveness, sometimes exactingness, trust, transition periods, difficulties, crashes and ups are woven into a huge warm carpet - this carpet is love, which can cover and warm us, children, family, friends, loved ones... many around.

Irina

I saw him and forgot about everything. My heart began to beat to the rhythm of Mendelssohn's waltz, butterflies fluttered in my stomach, and hearts flashed in my eyes, like in an American cartoon. At that moment, I had already come up with names for our children and gave the dog a nickname. So is this your idea of love at first sight? I do. I’m imagining it because I’m not sure I had a chance to experience it in reality.
After all, the first reaction to meeting my future husband was the thought: “Funny guys, but still so small.” We talked. Denis is like Denis. 2 years younger and with a very strange last name that I didn’t even remember. Who knew that many years later I would have to learn it, looking at the first page of my passport. And that from that spark of a fleeting acquaintance a flame will ignite, from the warmth of which a new earthly inhabitant will appear.
Then we met by chance a couple of times. And nothing. It probably wasn't the right time. It was necessary to get burned in relationships with others in order to understand that this is my destiny.
And so it happened. At my brother's wedding. After 9 years.
Read also: How to make a date a date: what to talk about during the first, second and subsequent meetings
And after two days I simply couldn’t imagine how it could have been different. A month later we began to live together. The result of this union is today wearing shoe size 42.

Is it necessary to take risks?

No one can give a definite answer to this question, because each case is individual and unique in its own way. First , you need to figure out whether you are ready to let new love into your life, whether you are ready to change some of your plans and schedules, adjusting them to the rhythm of your joint future relationship. Secondly , you need to be aware of what exactly you are risking. If you have a great family, and on vacation you met a person and literally felt this same Cupid’s arrow, connecting you in one feeling, then you need to carefully weigh and think about everything. First of all, understand your feelings and desires in life. And of course, do not give unnecessary hopes to your new partner, allowing yourself to plunge into love only for a short time. After all, the chosen one or chosen one can completely surrender to the feeling and sincerely believe in your future together. Thirdly , men should not confuse the release of testosterone that occurs when meeting any potential sexual partner with real feelings and kinship of souls. In general, there can be two pieces of advice:

those with families need to think twice;
Free people can easily surrender to the flow of fate.

At the same time, psychologists recommend using your head a little, without immediately filling it with far-reaching plans, and try to look at your chosen one with objective eyes. Love at first sight, but fall in love not with a created and fictitious image, but with a specific person, noticing all his minuses and pluses that are in each of us. The main decision, in any case, remains yours. And only then will you be either ashamed of what you did, or excruciatingly painful because you missed your chance at happiness. Love at first sight still remains magic and is perceived as a gift from above. Perhaps this is how we should treat her. Giving yourself and your chosen one a chance, pursuing rapprochement, following your desires and trusting fate. Plus, you essentially have nothing to lose. If a mistake occurs, it can always be perceived as valuable experience. And if you’re lucky and you really meet your person, then you can become the happiest couple with a harmonious relationship built on kindred spirits, sexual attraction and similar life priorities.

The smell of love

A lonely woman notices a man at a party who outwardly satisfies all her desires and expectations. They meet their gazes, he heads towards her, and the countdown of those notorious three minutes begins. If he stinks too much afterwards, the relationship will end before it even begins. But even an elusive smell can influence the decision? will there be love or not, what kind? big or tiny?

This is where the genetic factor comes into play: if the smell of the person we like is too similar to our own, most likely there will be no physical attraction. In fact, a similar smell evokes rather related feelings that destroy sexual attraction in the bud? after all, the offspring from crossing close relatives is usually weak and doomed to degeneration.

In a famous study, female volunteers were asked to smell sweaters worn by various men and rate the odor of their sweat. Each subject made her own list of attractive odors, and the more different her genome was from the man’s DNA, the more pleasant the smell of his sweat on his sweater seemed to her.

By analyzing the behavior of fruit flies, scientists found that a female insect only needed one single meeting to determine whether a male was genetically suitable for her or not. Although humans differ significantly from insects, experts believe that their mechanism for finding a mate is similar.