Embarrassment, “shooting eyes”, random touches, requests for advice, and often even ignoring and aggression - all these are signals that a woman gives to a man she likes. That is, when you don’t want to speak directly, a woman does not hide her feelings, but, on the contrary, makes it clear that she likes the man. And then he acts according to the situation (proceeds to active actions if the chosen one perceives the signals positively or, on the contrary, refuses the “siege”).
It’s more difficult with men: even in marriage, women often complain that they don’t understand whether they are loved or not. What can we say about those who have just met their other half... Why should a man hide his feelings for a woman? Let's look at the roots of the problem.
How men hide their feelings
It happens that a man is afraid to show his feelings and tries with all his might to hide it. But there are also several signs by which you can understand that a man is really in love with you.
Each man has his own set of symptoms of falling in love, which depends on his character, life principles and his own view of relationships. Of course, you can begin immediate education and learn how to extract a hundred declarations of love from a man per day. But do you need it? Is it worth trading reliability for empty chatter and beautiful gestures?
It's up to you to choose. The main thing is not to reproach yourself later for your immaturity, which recklessly exchanged support, masculinity and real feelings for flattering words.
Source: differed.ru
Wants to know everything about you
If a guy is nervous because he likes you, he will have a hard time talking about himself. He will have a hard time finding the words because he is afraid that it might make him look bad. The solution to this problem? Questions! Questions show that he is curious and interested. He wants to know about you, understand what worries you. If he actively listens and asks follow-up questions after your answer, that's a great sign. Not only is he a great listener, but his entire focus is on you and not on himself. In fact, research has shown that men communicate their attractiveness through focused attention and listening skills.
Reasons for hiding sympathy
There are not many reasons for this behavior. A man can:
- Be married.
- Afraid of being rejected.
- I haven’t fully understood my feelings yet.
- To think that this will show weakness.
- Consider that at his age, trying to get close to a woman is inconvenient.
Of course, all guys are different - in terms of education level, upbringing, horoscope, psychotype and habitat. The behavioral aspect largely depends on this. However, there are several general points that can be used to determine whether a man is in love with you or not.
The most common is a sudden change in behavior. When meeting, he may hide his gaze or blush. The impulsive and brave handsome guy suddenly becomes embarrassed and quiet, and the quiet and calm nerd begins to play tricks for no reason: he is ready to party in a nightclub, get drunk, sing with a guitar, or jump from the roof into a snowdrift. In such situations, the diagnosis is clear - fell in love.
Main features
Let's look at the main signs of a man in love who is trying to behave as usual:
By look
The feeling of love forces the unfortunate person to constantly look at the object of his desire. She attracts his gaze like a magnet, and he is unable to resist this attraction. An exception may be unique people with enormous willpower or secret service employees. But even they will sooner or later give themselves away, since you cannot fool nature.
By paying attention to how a man looks at you, you can understand his attitude towards you, even if such feelings are carefully disguised. Admiring glances are always noticeable from the outside, while the young man may not even realize that he made a mistake. He admires every movement and curves of a woman’s body, examines her whole and in parts, fascinatedly watches how she smiles or says something, and experiences bliss.
Some representatives of the stronger sex, especially those with a high level of intelligence, realize that looking at their beloved with wide open eyes is indecent. In this case, they begin to look at the girl on the sly, occasionally casting sidelong glances. But if a man does this often, he will also definitely give himself away.
Appearance and clothing
One hundred percent - a guy in love pays much more attention to his appearance. He showers more often than necessary, examines his teeth and face in the mirror, and carefully preens himself. Dudes can buy cool watches or expensive branded items. Those who have never cared about fashion trends will definitely take care of buying a fresh shirt, taking a new pair of socks out of the closet and washing their jeans.
The guy goes to the hairdresser, polishes his shoes or wipes last year’s dirt off his sneakers. Another striking sign is the perfume. If a man suddenly smells of cologne, lotion, deodorant or eau de toilette, he has definitely fallen in love.
Psychology of behavior
The behavior of a guy in love can become unstable. Brooding sadness will begin to give way to lyricism or excited looseness. After talking about something lofty - ballet, opera or philosophy - he will, out of the blue, tell an obscene joke, replacing obscene words with interjections.
A man will become more attentive to the lady of his heart, try to delve into all her problems and meaningless maxims. If the girl is smart and meaningful, the guy will definitely Google the incomprehensible phrases spoken to her, so that during the next conversation he will look savvy and “be in the know.” If a woman has a deep inner world, he can become interested in fine arts, start reading the classics, and start skiing or skating if his chosen one spends her leisure time that way.
A man in love, more often than before, finds an excuse to be close to his beloved - he offers to help with the housework, go to the store together, and comes up with other things to do together. He may suddenly have two tickets to a concert, ballet or movie.
There are often cases when he may suddenly disappear for several days or even go on a drinking binge. If after this the girl becomes more attentive and gentle towards him, the man will again spread his wings and resume his attempts to win her heart.
Sometimes it is important for a person to touch his object of adoration, however, this is not always possible. You can recognize a guy in love by this sign - he, as if by chance, finds a reason to touch your shoulder or waist.
Body and gestures
Pay attention to the man’s hands - they often tremble from embarrassment or excitement, tremor can indicate excitement, the palms become wet. His body in this state is constrained and tense. It's quite easy to notice, no matter how hard he tries to disguise himself.
When trying to “close” the man crosses his arms over his chest. And then, suddenly, he straightens his shoulders and opens up, showing off his entire body.
If the adrenaline is off the charts, and the time has not yet come to open his feelings, the guy will sign up for a rocking gym. In an effort to look more attractive, he will definitely want to pump up his muscles.
Energy
A man in love is full of sexual energy, bursting from within and spreading around him. A girl with good intuition will certainly feel this. She will worry for no reason and will call her friends and relatives, trying to find out the cause of her anxiety. Not finding it, he will begin to get angry and irritated, but then he will get tired.
Anxiety will not leave a woman alone while a man in love is in the information field. Particularly emotional individuals are able to transmit their powerful energy even at a distance. Just like some girls who are away from their boyfriend can read it.
He's building a wall between us!
Ira and Lucas have been living together for six years. Lucas is a graphic designer, owner of his own business, Ira works in a bank. She would love to have children, but Lucas says that he is not ready yet, first he needs to get firmly on his feet - they still have time.
Lucas also often has to travel to the office on weekends. The line between work and leisure is very blurred for him. Ira is always free on weekends, and on weekdays, as a rule, she returns home by six o’clock in the evening, while Lucas often stays until nine.
Ira misses communication with Lucas. She is especially concerned that Lucas spends a lot of his free time on the sports ground, and after that he happily goes out for drinks with friends. Another hobby of Lucas is reading the press. On weekends, if Lucas is not in the office, he spends hours reading daily newspapers, political and computer magazines.
Ira got the impression that this was much more important to him than spending time together. Even if Lucas is physically nearby, Ira often feels like his thoughts are somewhere far away - so she increasingly feels lonely.
At the same time, she is absolutely sure that Lucas needs this relationship and that there is no rival. He is comfortable in this relationship, but he needs personal space.
There are, however, evenings or days when he is, as they say, “fully present,” and then Ira feels that she and Lucas are really close and that he loves her - which she often doubts. Each time after this, Ira promises herself not to encroach on Lucas’ freedom and to maintain trust in the relationship the next time he moves away. But usually she fails to do this - and then Lucas “switches off” so much that Ira again and again falls into the abyss of loneliness.
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Why is a man afraid of the woman he is in love with?
Falling in love is one of the strongest positive feelings experienced by a person. Scientists say that the body of a person in love produces the hormone of joy and happiness with redoubled force, due to which he feels something like euphoria.
But, despite the happiness that love brings us, some representatives of the stronger sex are afraid and even avoid this feeling.
Why is this happening? Psychologists identify several reasons why men are afraid to fall in love.
Reason #1 - fear of losing control of yourself
Falling in love is a feeling that removes the ground from under your feet. When we truly fall in love with someone, we seem to lose control of ourselves, becoming dependent and defenseless. In men, whom nature has made the stronger sex, such sensations cause severe discomfort. Men believe that once they fall in love, they will no longer be able to control themselves and their lives. As a result, some men experience a rejection of the feeling of falling in love on a subconscious level.
Reason #2 - fear of losing freedom
For most men, falling in love is associated with a loss of freedom. Therefore, if your partner is not ready for a serious relationship, he will try to keep his feelings under control.
Of course, we can say that love always comes unexpectedly and cannot be kept within a given framework. However, if at this stage of life a man’s priority is freedom, he will do his best to restrain his feelings, not allowing them to develop.
Reason #3 - fear of pain
A man’s behavior is significantly influenced by his previous life experiences. If in the past love brought a man pain and disappointment, in the future he will avoid this feeling, just so as not to experience pain and resentment from new disappointments.
Most often, such men start fleeting romances, not wanting to even remember love, focusing exclusively on sex.
Reason #4 - fear of responsibility
Outwardly, the man seems completely calm and confident. He actively communicates with the fair sex, but as soon as a woman starts hinting at a wedding or engagement, the man simply runs away from her.
This is the type of man who believes that it is quite possible to do without a woman in the house. Such representatives of the stronger sex are able to run the household themselves, and, in their opinion, it is better to communicate and have sex “on the side.” If such a man has a wife on the horizon to be reckoned with, and in the future a child, for him this seems like a terrible torture and he seeks to break off the love relationship.
As a rule, this behavior is typical for avid bachelors and men with negative attitudes, who associate love not with joy and happiness, but with problems and worries.
Reason #5 - fear of showing weakness
Falling in love reveals the hidden feelings of our soul, to some extent making us weaker and more defenseless. If a man lives with a “tough guy” attitude, he will suppress his feelings, preventing himself from falling in love. As a rule, such men deny the existence of love, believing that the world is based only on material values.
This does not mean at all that such a man cannot fall in love, but the development of his feelings is somewhat slower than that of other representatives of the stronger half of humanity.
Reason #6 - lack of money
When a man has no money, he begins to experience strong complexes. Moreover, society has long had an established opinion that women only need money. A man wants to look after a woman he likes beautifully and give her the whole world. This frightens men who are not wealthy or who are stingy and confuses them. Many of them decide to stay single, just to avoid spending extra money.
Reason #7 - fear of change
Falling in love is a whirlwind that bursts into our lives, destroying established orders and rules. However, not all men love change. For many of them, changes in their usual way of life border on disaster.
Interestingly, men with a similar psychological problem live between two fires: on the one hand, they sincerely crave love, and on the other, they are deathly afraid to change their lives.
Reason number 8 - fear of disappointing your love
At the initial stage of a relationship, both men and women subconsciously try to look better than they really are. They diligently hide their shortcomings, showing only their best sides. However, the stronger the love, the more often you have to show your true essence. Not all men are ready to introduce their beloved to the worst side of their “I”, which is why they internally keep their distance.
As a rule, this fear arises among insecure men who believe that there is nothing to love them for.
Reason No. 9 - intimate problems
Intimate problems are much less common. It is in such cases that a man is most vulnerable. He will never feel comfortable in the company of the woman he loves. The man will pretend that they don’t get along or come up with another reason, but the essence will remain the same. People around you will wonder why the relationship between lovers is not working out, but no one will know the real reason.
Reason #10 - fear of rejection
Another complex that grew out of uncertainty or negative past experiences. If a man is not sure that his feelings are mutual, he can hide them at all costs. Worried about possible rejection, men with this psychological problem prefer to avoid a love relationship with the woman they like. This complex is quite serious, because by limiting himself in love, a man acquires internal constraint and excessive caution.
Falling in love is a wonderful and joyful feeling. However, not everyone knows how to enjoy it. If you feel that something is holding your partner back, give him time. He must get used to his new sensations in order to allow them to come out.
He doesn't deserve me!
Rita and Thomas fell in love at first sight. They first met in a supermarket - and literally burned each other's eyes.
When Rita saw Thomas in line at the checkout, her heart started pounding. She walked over and gave him her phone number. The next evening they had their first date, and soon they became a couple.
Rita was head over heels in love. She called the meeting with Thomas “fateful” and was absolutely sure that she had finally found her soul mate. Thomas thought the same.
So several stormy months passed. However, as soon as the first feeling of love disappeared, many things in Thomas began to irritate Rita. She often noticed that the items in his wardrobe did not fit together, and when he said something, he did it as if he lacked the intelligence to speak briefly and clearly.
Rita saw more and more clearly that Thomas was too uptight, that he lacked ease. She criticized Thomas without choosing any expressions - believing that this was the only way he would have the opportunity to change. Thomas did not particularly resist and agreed with his friend in many respects.
For some reason this was also annoying. Secretly, Rita wished that Thomas would show her the boundaries of what was permitted - that would be like a man. Instead, a dog's look of love. Simply unbearable!
Finally, Rita came to the conclusion that Thomas was not her soul mate after all - she needed a more independent person with both feet on the ground. She broke off relations with him and felt free. For Thomas, the world collapsed: what did he do wrong?
Why are men afraid of beautiful women?
According to psychologists, beautiful women are conquered only by confident men, one hundred percent males. Less self-confident men are indeed afraid of beautiful women for a number of reasons.
Fear of being rejected
Nobody likes to get rejected, especially when it comes to love relationships. A man's self-esteem can suffer very seriously if a beautiful girl refuses him. Therefore, it is easier for him not to take risks and not to approach a bright beauty who, in the man’s opinion, is accustomed to the attention of the stronger sex and does not need another admirer.
High competition
According to most men, beautiful women have a huge number of relationships and are always looking for the best. Therefore, anyone who starts an affair with a bright beauty will have to constantly compete with other representatives of the stronger sex.
Weak men, afraid of difficulties, immediately retreat in front of beauties, giving way to strong and self-confident Men.
The fickleness of beauties
A man fears that a beautiful woman, being paired with him, will still look around and look for a better option.
These fears do not always have a basis in reality, because a lot depends on the upbringing and level of culture of the woman. If she is a pure consumer who thinks exclusively about money, then such a beauty will really go from wallet to wallet. But there are also many women who know how to appreciate their man, who creates coziness and comfort for her. Such beauties, in response to love, surround their partner with care and attention, providing him with a strong rear.
Financial inquiries
Another reason why men avoid beauties is the stereotype that beautiful women only love rich admirers. And a man with average income simply cannot afford a beauty financially.
Unfortunately, such fears of men are not in vain. As psychologists say, such mercantile attitudes are now determined by time. If a young woman understands that she is good, she has a model appearance, and she attracts the attention of the stronger sex, then she will really strive to find a rich man.
A beauty cannot be a good housewife
Most men believe that a woman who spends a lot of time taking care of herself cannot be a good housewife. Most likely, she does not like and does not know how to cook, has difficulty imagining how to care for her husband, and prefers to shift household chores onto someone else’s shoulders.
However, men are often mistaken about this. Beauties who were raised by loving parents as harmonious individuals can also be no less good housewives than women with ordinary appearance.
The beauty is not free
Looking at the beauty, the average representative of the stronger sex is actually completely convinced that she already has a lover. It is difficult for a young man to imagine that such a beauty spends her nights alone in bed.
Fear of being the center of attention
Beauties always attract the attention of others, so her companion, willy-nilly, will become the object of close attention. But men, as a rule, do not like such excessive interest in themselves and are not ready to endure it all the time.
Fear of inadequacy in bed
Men experience failures in the intimate sphere very hard and painfully. Most representatives of the stronger sex are sure that many men have been in the bed of the beauty, so her experience probably exceeds that of the unlucky gentleman. The fear of not impressing a beauty in bed is one of the strongest fears among men.
Fear of being ridiculed
According to psychologists, most representatives of the stronger sex will not approach a beautiful woman, so as not to be laughed at. After all, most men have a stereotype about the arrogance and coldness of attractive women firmly stuck in their heads. Therefore, such men believe that it is better not to put themselves in an uncomfortable position and not to approach a beauty in an attempt to strike up an acquaintance.
The listed reasons are due only to the internal fears of men, warning them against close communication with a beautiful girl. However, there are also deeper factors that the woman herself conceals within herself - they do not give her the opportunity to build relationships with existing fans.
The thing is that in a man’s view, the beauty of a woman is not only a beautiful face and seductive forms, but something more and significant - sensuality, tenderness, complaisance, innate sexuality.
Women's beauty can be warm and cold. The concept of the first includes charm, smile, positive energy that the girl emits. She attracts men not so much with her spectacular appearance, but with her clean, bright image, the special warmth and friendliness with which she communicates with the stronger sex.
Girls who are characterized by cold beauty seem arrogant, arrogant and mocking. Playing on their beauty, they can, in passing, offend a person. There is nothing strange here: they are confident in their exceptional attractiveness, so they behave confidently and unapproachably with men.
Men intuitively avoid cold beauties, preferring simpler women - smiling, open, sincere, charming.
So beauties have something to think about - change their behavior style, become more sensitive to others.
Why are men afraid of smart women?
Currently, many women have already fully established themselves in life, they are successful and have everything they need to provide for themselves. Some of them already have their own business before they are thirty, drive an expensive car and do not worry about anything, rejoicing at the success they have achieved. Compared to such a successful woman, a man begins to seem like an absolute loser, whom an intelligent and successful woman will not even look at. But every successful woman dreams of coming home, changing clothes and feeling loved and desired, giving all her tenderness to her beloved man. After all, no one is happy with the prospect of being left completely alone.
So why are many men afraid of smart women?
Reason No. 1 - inferiority complex
The fact is that not all men have a high level of intelligence, ingenuity, erudition and quick wits. If such a guy meets an intelligent and successful woman on his life’s path, he will simply fade in comparison with her. It will be difficult for him to maintain long conversations with her, so over time the lady will simply become bored with him and she will leave.
In addition, when appearing in the company of his friends, a man will feel stupider than his companion, as a result of which he will begin to develop an inferiority complex. Therefore, it is easier for an ordinary representative of the stronger sex to choose a stupider girl for a relationship in order to appear better against her background.
Reason #2 - Feeling Useless
The second reason why men are afraid of smart women lies in the success of these representatives of the fair sex. A successful woman can be self-confident and self-sufficient, but representatives of the stronger sex, in order to show their sincere and tender love for a woman, must provide and protect her.
If a girl is able to take care of herself, a man will feel useless and worthless in a relationship with her. Successful women often destroy men's self-esteem by suppressing their significant other.
Some smart girls, worried about their loneliness, deliberately try to behave more stupidly and seem simpler. They are simply worried that their intelligence may scare off the stronger sex. In fact, this behavior is also unacceptable. Yes, many men are afraid of smart ladies, but they also despise women’s stupidity. Men who sincerely fall in love with smart girls, on the contrary, begin to be proud of their soulmate and try to improve themselves so as not to lose against her background.
If a woman truly has a high level of intelligence, she will never change her behavior for the worse. She will simply wait until a worthy and strong man appears in her life who will accept her character and intelligence without fear of any difficulties.
"Bricklayer" cannot live without distance
Lucas, as you understand, also demonstrates a fear of attachment; such people are also called philophobes. The notorious “yes and no”, on the basis of which they build relationships, can be clearly seen in his behavior.
It would seem that he and Ira have developed a strong relationship, but at the same time he is looking for different ways to establish distance. It’s as if he’s building a wall between himself and his partner - so we’ll call this type . ”
At the same time, Lucas uses one of the popular strategies - to hide behind work and passions. Another indicator is unclear time planning. Philophobes are generally very reluctant to commit themselves. As a rule, this applies not only to relationships, but to all areas of life: such people need to feel the opportunity to make new decisions at any time, without looking back at anyone.
The next aspect is clearly evident in the relationship between Ira and Lucas: a person who avoids relationships has power . What the degree of intimacy and distance should be in a relationship is decided solely by Lucas. He determines when he wants to be close to Ira and when he doesn’t. They also only have physical intimacy when Lucas wants it.
In a healthy relationship, giving, taking and coming to a compromise is commonplace, but in a relationship with a philophobe, power belongs to one of the parties. The philophobe sets boundaries, and the partner can only helplessly watch this.
