One of the popular topics of many trainings is the issue of inspiring men and the role of women in this. Moreover, a variety of aspects are considered here, and not just how to inspire a man to take action. The key point remains the role of the woman, since all the activities of men are concentrated in the external world, requiring strength and motivation, emotional involvement and their own internal meanings of continuation or undertaking. A woman is initially more sensitive in the area of experiences; she deals with the internal aspects of relationships and interaction.
In fact, if a man is single, then he needs a minimum set of life’s goods, and he begins to set new goals only when some of the previous ones collapse. Women and family represent development factors that contribute to the desire to buy a large house instead of a one-room apartment, in order to ensure security and comfort for the family, to increase earnings, to provide development for their loved ones and to have the opportunity to please them. Even the majority of creative achievements were created thanks to women - from admiration or trampled love feelings remains in question, but their influence cannot be denied.
By focusing on how to inspire a man to earn money, many miss his inner state, because inspiration does not only mean actual material results. This is an attitude, fullness of life and the ability to feel and rejoice. Anyone who is depressed will not be able to produce high results either in work or in relationships, so the main point is not motivation in the style of coaches, by building the right life concept, timing and developing strategies. The male analytical mind will create all this on its own when the desire to move and the mood to overcome difficulties appear.
It is important to define your role in inspiring a man - not to be a mentor, but to be a muse. This is work aimed not only at interaction, saying the right phrases and appropriate thanks. For a woman, it becomes paramount to work on herself and her manifestations, both regarding appearance and character, the ability to show tact and understand, support or get angry.
Many have noticed that around some ladies, any man blossoms and, without the slightest hint or prompting, begins to perform necessary and amazing, sometimes unusual, actions. This situation especially infuriates wives, whose husbands instantly transform before their eyes when one of their friends appears. Unfortunately, jealousy so blinds the eyes and turns off common sense that most people stop communicating with such an inspiring person, instead of taking a closer look and learning something.
And you will have to learn to balance your own emotional manifestations and experiences, experienced states and dreams, because men are ready for any feat not for the sake of shoes from the latest fashion collection, but for the sake of their sense of self in the presence of a woman.
Motivation levels
Motivation is the desire to act in an organized, purposeful manner and get results, which manifests itself at different levels of the psychological structure.
As a result of the formalization of motivation, goal settings (goal settings) arise, which determine the direction and result of actions.
Cognitive, thinking
Almost every man understands the need for change, gaining new knowledge or additional profit. Everyone is capable of creating the greatest plans and projects that remain forever within the brain without being implemented in practice.
This is due to the fact that we perceive mental results as part of our achievements, which in reality may not work out, so it is better to calmly dream about how to get rich by delivering matches than to actually try to do it.
Therefore, a woman’s participation consists in discussing possible solutions at all stages of logical reasoning: collecting information - identifying contradictions - posing a problem - ways to overcome it - making a management decision.
In life, it often happens completely differently: a woman stops an undesirable decision for no apparent reason. For example, a man thinks for a long time and prepares to take a course as a massage therapist; he has obvious abilities for this.
And the woman categorically declares: I don’t agree with anything in the world, because her friends said that in this profession the husband will start “walking left and right.” Trust and the ability to productively discuss and plan the situation are lost; in the future, the man will simply stop sharing plans and generally lose his reserve of ambition.
Emotive, sensual
This is a completely female area, which is necessary for a man to feel psychological comfort, to be able to relax and purposefully use creative energy.
If he feels restless, uneasy, is forced to make excuses or worry about small everyday moments, he will never “grow up” and will not be able to overcome family troubles. Or, on the contrary, he will be completely immersed in the work process, ignoring family responsibilities.
So the woman is responsible for the balance of the relationship, for the readiness for change, but she must understand that this is a long, labor-intensive process.
For an ordinary manager to become a branch director, years must pass filled with various problems and stress. And all this time the woman helps, supports, consoles, inspires, and does not scold or reproach on every occasion.
Behavioral, volitional
The most difficult level, which requires mutual trust and coordinated actions. If you are ready to discuss difficult situations, overcome conflicts together and sympathize with each other, then you can easily begin more complex projects.
For example, to create your own business, because you are sure that in case of failure you will not shift responsibility onto each other or run away with a common cash register to the Canadian border.
Read 5 main advantages of being a woman alone
A great way to make a general decision is to use the Cartesian square. Take a sheet of paper and draw it into 4 “windows”, in each of which write: What will happen if we do this? What happens if we don't do this? What won't happen if we do this? What won't happen if we don't do it?
This way you will get a clear picture of the results and be able to compare possible pros and cons.
We recommend reading: How to make your man the happiest.
Feeling of freedom
How does a woman inspire a man? It should be understood that strong representatives of humanity are distinguished by their love of freedom, but they also value stability. In addition, a real man, capable of achieving his goals, makes decisions on his own. And you shouldn’t bother him by giving advice when he’s not asked for it.
A man also needs his own space and free time. And a woman needs to rest, think about herself and her desires. You should know that relationships will become stronger and more successful if you give each other the opportunity to be alone with yourself and mind your own business.
What is the difference between motivation and manipulation?
Motivation is the internal belief that you need to act in this particular way. And manipulation is an imposed model of behavior, forced participation in a certain activity.
You can use pompous reasoning that if a man agreed to the specified conditions, it means that he wanted it. But there is a significant difference: I wanted to realize myself, to achieve success, or I wanted to please others and avoid negative attitudes.
Sometimes psychologists call manipulation “negative motivation,” “negative goal setting.”
For example, it sounds completely different: “If you get a second education this year, we will be able to establish our own legal entity.
From the same opera, the attitude: “You need to earn more, not spend less.” The most interesting thing is that over time, positive motivation “accumulates”, a man tries to earn even more rewards, but negative motivation becomes addictive and stops working, the man simply ignores it.
The main ways to motivate a man: persuasion, discussion, planning, design, forecasting, as a result, everyone is happy.
Manipulation is very energy-intensive: conflicts, hysteria, quarrels, scandals, threats, insults, ultimatums, blackmail, alienation, which lead to psychological trauma with various consequences.
Manipulation can lead to faster and more noticeable results, but they have many “side effects” in the form of mistrust, closed, damaged relationships. As a result, one of the partners or both suffer and try to avoid “punishment” in the form of negative experiences.
Why and why a woman needs to inspire her man
Not all women understand what it means to inspire their loved one and why they should do it at all. There is a stereotype in society that the stronger sex should win the hearts of women, be breadwinners and ensure their safety. But even the most loving person is unlikely to be able to “reach the top” for a long time only on his own enthusiasm.
Men are like a supercomputer. They are able to master almost any skill and hone it to perfection, receiving a well-deserved reward for this. However, in addition to material rewards, they need emotional support from loved ones. If they do not have a source of energy for exploits, they quickly fade away and lose the motivation to move on, as if the computer was disconnected from the power supply. A woman’s job is to give her husband this motivating energy and inspire him.
Types of motivation
To properly motivate a man, you need to use different types of motivation, which depend on basic and social needs, which is clearly shown in Maslow’s pyramid.
- Basic, elementary – physiological, the need for everyday things.
- Collective – the need for protection, shelter, compliance with general laws and rules.
- Social – self-identification, belonging to a certain group.
- Self-realization is the achievement of personal success, recognition of professional and creative merits.
- Self-actualization – further advancement, transfer of gained experience.
- Harmonization of cognitive and aesthetic needs - a feeling of balance, happiness, pleasure for no apparent reason, as a complex of personal and social achievements in the process of self-realization.
Based on basic and socio-cultural needs, various sources of motivation and goal settings can be identified.
Fear
Fears and phobias can be called the root cause of any action, which is actively used by marketers: “If you don’t buy deodorant, you’ll be dirty and lousy.”
In modern society, no one is afraid of dying from hunger and cold; this fear has been modified into such attitudes as “save a job”, “pay a loan or mortgage”, “get a pension” and similar socially dependent motives.
A woman can completely unblock these fears in a man if she does the housework correctly and rationally distributes the available budget.
Call of Duty
Usually married couples “get stuck” at this level due to the influence of social stereotypes: “a man must be strong,” “a man must provide for the family.” As a result, a man finds himself in a cycle of demands, in which there is no room left for his desires and needs.
Read What pisses off men in relationships with women
He owes his wife: bring a salary, his boss: complete the task quickly and efficiently, his parents: plow the garden and plant a ton of potatoes. A woman can still go shopping and beauty salons, and then start criticizing her tired husband.
Always praise your husband in public, among friends and relatives, even in advance; a man is ready to try even harder for the sake of universal recognition. Constantly encourage a man for real achievements; it is unacceptable to take new achievements or new things for granted.
A man has an innate sense of duty; there is no need to constantly “put pressure” on him; it is better to emphasize his achievements: “This month you exceeded all indicators: received a bonus, repaired the car, moved the refrigerator and brushed the cat!”
Identifying and meeting your partner’s needs
It’s like a gift that is more pleasant to give than to receive, when you see the joy and pleasure of your partner, you yourself experience real pleasure. Men are hunters and scouts by nature; they are interested in learning and discovering new things, including family relationships.
Therefore, show how much his care is important to you, how much family well-being depends on his participation and salary, arrange family trips and holidays more often.
Remember that emotions are more important than things, always take into account efforts, and not just results; if you asked for new wallpaper in the room, and your spouse put up an obscure “collective farm” for your arrival, there is no need to attack with a brutal look.
Be sure to praise, you will later have the opportunity to calmly talk about this topic and make it the subject of family memories.
Feeling of love
Oddly enough, men are also often idealists, even more so than women, who look for real benefits in almost any action.
Therefore, men are more “reluctant” to get married: they are not sure that this is “that coat,” the only one with which they can live for many years. Indeed, according to statistics, most often the initiators of divorce are beautiful ladies who have found a more profitable or interesting option.
For the sake of a feeling of love and family euphoria, a man is ready to do the impossible, but do not demand more from him than he is actually capable of. If he does not have sufficient education, experience, or the necessary connections, do not humiliate his dignity. Better think about how to improve his performance without guilt and anxiety.
Don't miss the article: What pisses off men in relationships with women.
Respect him
How to inspire a man? All his affairs, projects, goals and new beginnings require approval from a woman. We must constantly say and show with all our appearance that he is moving in the right direction.
Try to avoid insults and ridicule. Was there something you didn't like about his actions? Express your position correctly, explain exactly what he is wrong about. Do you not like some of his character traits? This also needs to be talked about carefully, without being overly emotional. If there is respect in the relationship, then an adequate man will understand what is required of him and will respond to your words.
How to properly motivate a man to achieve the desired result
In general, an adult, sensible man is ready for calm, productive negotiations; there is no need to hatch secret plans to transform him into a millionaire. Perhaps he lacks the “I can” or “I want” motivation, he does not like to discuss his doubts, he does not want to seem weak or dependent.
Therefore, we remember all levels of motivation: cognitive (mental, intellectual), emotive (sensual) and behavioral (volitional).
If a man calmly talks about his further advancement and development, then look for emotional “blocks” or “anchors”. Willingness to act is expressed in specific plans: when and what will be done, what possible consequences and results.
At this moment, many companions “merge”, leaving the area of responsibility; they are ready to discuss making a profit and buying a yacht, but do not want to hear about debts and deprivation of property. Therefore, your task is to show that you will accompany your husband in any situation, regardless of the result and the opinions of others.
The role of a woman in a man's wealth!
Motivate to earn more money
Salary is the basis of family well-being, which largely depends on the assessment and attitude of others, so you have to adapt to general concepts about wealth, repairs, and a car. But you should always motivate your husband to earn money only taking into account family principles and values, and not to please the interests of others.
Read How to forget a loved one after a breakup
There are not many options on the labor market: get up-to-date qualifications, find additional employment, change your place of work or even your field of activity. Your own business is a separate topic for conversation.
How best to motivate your husband to earn money: for example, you have a joint idea “Let’s go to New Zealand”, which can be presented this way: “The trip will cost $ 3,000. To save this amount without damaging the family budget, you can save 5 years of 50 bucks every month. Or you can find a remote part-time job for 4 hours a day and go within a year.”
Motivate for success
Success is the feeling of a job well done, advancement in your career, and feedback from others. It is always expressed in specific indicators: position, salary, opportunities. Therefore, it is useless to shout like a fury: “You are a nonentity, you have achieved nothing!”
To motivate a man to succeed, you need to specifically, systematically discuss the results of each reporting period: what was accomplished this month, this quarter or this year, what can be changed, what can be achieved.
Be sure to find promising abilities: “You have mastered paragliding perfectly, let’s buy a parachute and try to become a trainer.”
Motivate a man to take action
How to motivate a man to take action: you can dream and talk about any desires, but you need to motivate him to take specific actions.
The simple desire “Let's get a dog” can remain at the level of conversations for years, or it can be realized in the near future: What breeds fit in the apartment? How much does monthly maintenance cost? Where is the nearest nursery? When will we go choose a puppy? I am very happy that you again gave us a wonderful gift!
The intimate component of a good relationship
Don't think that good sex can only relax and give pleasure. In addition, it is also a way of communication between partners. With its help, you can demonstrate tenderness, love, and show how much a woman trusts her lover.
Relationships will be stronger if conversations about sexual desires do not make you blush and feel embarrassed. In addition, you should not be afraid to talk about any problems in this area. But this must be done correctly, without irony and sarcasm. And it’s even better to use hints and hints to ensure that the man independently comes to the desired result. Well, or at least thought that he figured it all out on his own.
How to inspire a man to give gifts? There is no need to blackmail with sex, forcing your partner to take any action or accustoming him to a certain behavior. Training of this kind can lead to excessive aggression or betrayal.
What not to do
- You can’t blame someone for family problems: “Because of you, we haven’t been on vacation for the fifth summer!” You can say: “Let’s go to our relatives’ dacha so you can rest a little.”
- You can’t devalue what you managed to get with difficulty: “Your salary isn’t even enough for braces!” You can do it this way: “I managed to save money this month, I invite you to a romantic dinner.”
- You cannot compare his achievements with others: “The neighbor has a cooler car and a more beautiful wife!” Only with himself: “This year you managed to get much more orders than last year!”
Acknowledgments
A girl who inspires a man knows how to thank him for even the most insignificant actions. It helps you feel like a hero. And if you take his gifts and beautiful words for granted, then his desire to make you happy will disappear over time.
The same applies to the professional sphere. If a man boasts about his achievements and successes, in response you need to tell him how great he is, how lucky you are to have him. Otherwise, he will simply stop setting new goals for himself.
Tips that don't work
- Both spouses should work in order to share expenses and responsibility for the household, then the man will trust the woman more and will be able to save “extra” money for vacation or apartment renovation. In our conditions, it leads to alienation and loss of male “authority”, especially since no one has canceled household chores and chores; a man’s salary is not enough for a governess, a cook and a cleaner.
- You need to endure poverty and instability, listen to any absurd promises, agree with any opinion, so that the pride of the obstinate male does not suffer. If a person is not ready, is unable to advance, has not taken a single step to improve the situation during the “control period”, for example, over the last year, there will be no miracle. Nothing will change, get ready to continue to suffer and complain, it’s your choice.
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Positive Attitudes
Almost all words spoken by a woman in a fit of emotion are perceived as clear instructions, without which it is impossible to achieve the desired. And if you constantly tell him that he is not capable of anything, demonstrate irony, vehemently criticize, then you should not expect success. And if he nevertheless manages to achieve the task, then he will be grateful for this not to you, but to another woman.
Therefore, you can inspire a man to earn money or achieve heights only with positive words, faith in his capabilities, expressed out loud. Don’t be afraid to tell him once again that everything is working out for him and he will be able to complete the task.
