How to start a relationship with a girl, develop and maintain: secrets of successful relationships

Every person wants to be happy, to build relationships with other people that completely satisfy him, but often problems, trials and obstacles arise on the path to cherished happiness. Relationships between representatives of opposite sexes are especially difficult. Men and women meet, communicate, fall in love, get disappointed, become friends, break up, get back together, and this can be continued ad infinitum. How to become happy? How can a guy get out of the friend zone? How to cope with problems in relationships with the opposite sex?

1. Is there friendship between a man and a woman?
2. The most common mistakes men make in relationships.
3. The friend zone: how to avoid getting into it and how to get out?
4. How to behave with the girl you like?
5. Pros and cons of open relationships.

Every guy recognizes himself in what is written below. Some mistakes have already been made, but you can try to correct them and also avoid them in the future. Tips, hints, warnings - everything that will make you happy and satisfied can be found in this article.

Is there friendship between a man and a woman?

The debate about whether there is friendship between a man and a woman has been going on for thousands of years. Some people vehemently insist that friendship does not depend on factors such as age, gender, nationality, while others claim that even nature does not allow friendship between representatives of opposite sexes. One of the two sooner or later begins to experience sexual attraction to the other and falls in love. Who is right in this endless debate? So what should you do if you really want sex with a friend or if this has already happened?

First of all, you need to find out whether it is possible to have sex with a friend? The beauty of intimate relationships between friends is that they are not associated with any obligations. People agree to have sex as a friend in order to get pleasure in bed. And this is the only correct decision in this situation, because otherwise problems may arise in your relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Sex with a friend can only happen if you have directly and openly discussed all the rules of the “game.” And there aren't many rules.

Have fun, give pleasure and don't worry about obligations. Sex for many unparalleled orgasms.

But it often happens that one of the friends falls in love with another and ends up in the friend zone. Desperate to get out of the friend zone, he agrees to have sex with his girlfriend in the hope that intimacy will help him get closer to the object of his love. As a result, young people not only do not become close, but also lose friendships, since one of the partners expects what the other is unable to give and is not obliged to do so. After all, everything was discussed between them initially. You can have sex as a friend to get pleasure, become more experienced in bed, and even increase your self-esteem. But psychologists remind us that such an intimate relationship leads to scandals and discord in relationships, even when both partners initially discussed everything. Over time, the line between sex without commitment and full-fledged relationships among friends begins to blur, which causes unpleasant consequences.

In order for the friendship between a guy and a girl to survive after sex, it is important to follow the following rules:

1. No jealousy. (You have no right to do this).
2. No reproaches, insults or omissions (Friendship between a guy and a girl should be more important than sex).
3. No falsehood. (In any situation, discuss everything that worries you and be honest with each other).
4. No romance. The mind should always remain clear. Only orgasms and cold calculation.

And the last rule says that, while in an intimate relationship with a friend or girlfriend, you can and should look for a permanent, real partner. Only after carefully weighing everything can you take a risk and make love with someone you consider a friend. Sex with a friend will not result in disappointment and the collapse of the relationship only when all these rules are followed. Violating these rules is the answer to the question of why my friend stopped communicating with me.

How to build a relationship with a girl

The most common mistakes men make in relationships

There are no ideal relationships between people, especially between a man and a woman. From time to time, in every family, every couple, disagreements, misunderstandings, and quarrels arise. It is important to be able to get out of critical situations correctly, but even more important is to learn how to prevent them. To avoid quarrels, disagreements and scandals in relationships, men should know what mistakes should not be made when communicating with the fair sex? How to create a strong, lasting connection with a girl? If a girl refuses, you need to analyze your behavior and understand the reason for the refusal.

Indecisiveness

Indecisiveness is a very unattractive quality in a man. After all, men are hunters and conquerors by nature, and determination and confidence in their strengths and actions often helped them survive and develop. Ladies do not like indecisive representatives of the stronger sex. If you think for weeks, or even months, before approaching and meeting the girl you like, and then spend sleepless nights racking your brains over whether you should ask your loved one out or whether it’s better not to, you are unlikely to achieve success on the personal front. .

Lovely creatures want to see strong, brave men next to them, capable of doing anything for the sake of their attention. If complexes prevent you from being like this, then it’s time to get rid of them. Try to raise your self-esteem and don’t self-examine. There is no point in dwelling on failures. Remember, everyone makes mistakes, no one in this world is perfect, everyone has failures both in their career and in their personal life. The winner is not the one who does not make mistakes and does not lose, but the one who learns from his mistakes and constantly works on himself, trying to overcome his fears and struggling with shortcomings.

What to do in case of failure

Unfortunately, no one is immune from failure. The girl may not like you even after all your efforts. She may be in love with someone else, or you just aren't her type, it doesn't matter. You have only one choice - to fall behind.

The sooner you do this, the better impression you will leave. And if you stay nearby, like a faithful page, and shower the beauty with gifts in an attempt to take this fortress by siege, you will soon become completely disgusted with her.

Just before you retreat, ask yourself whether you really clearly expressed your intentions and did everything from the previous points. This is necessary in order not to be tormented by doubts like “what if she didn’t understand?”

Inattention

An inattentive man who treats a woman with disdain has no chance of winning her heart and building a successful relationship with her. If you repeatedly hear a girl’s reproaches that you forgot about the anniversary of your acquaintance or did not pay attention to her new chic dress, it’s time to remember a wise proverb that reminds men of women’s tendency to love with their ears.

You need to constantly show your attention, show that you are interested in communicating with the girl, that everything that happens in her life is extremely important to you. A woman should feel that you are nearby and notice everything, and don’t let anything go unnoticed. Pay attention to the little things. After all, it’s the little things that make up the most valuable things.

If she said that she was sick and would not be able to go out on a date, you should not, having accepted this fact, make plans for the evening. The beauty will certainly appreciate it if you go to the pharmacy and buy medicines, and then take them to her. Even if you come to her with a jar of raspberry jam, your deed will never be forgotten. Pay attention to what your partner looks like. Has she gotten a new hairstyle? Did she buy a new outfit? It is important to give her a sincere compliment and notice the changes that have occurred in her.

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Acquaintance

Until you become a level 80 pickup artist, you can only start dating a girl you know. We have already looked in detail at ways to meet girls on VK and on the street, so now we will briefly go over the points to refresh our memory of the material.

1. Pay attention to your appearance and smell. Remember the rule of the three “Ps”: hairstyle, outfit and perfume must be impeccable.
2. It is best to start dating with a neutral conversation. On the Internet - about the girl’s interests, in person - about the situation in which you find yourself together.
3. Try to avoid templates and dubious compliments. Leave the phrase “your mother doesn’t need a son-in-law” for the gopniks.
4. Watch your speech: speak politely, speak and write correctly, get rid of filler words.
5. Don't try to hide your excitement - you won't succeed anyway. Be so excited that she'll think she's driving you crazy, not that you're an insecure nerd.
6. If a girl refuses, do not persuade or beg. You are not a beggar.

If you have known your chosen one for a long time, it will be easier for you. She already has some idea about you, and it will be easier for her to open up to you. You may want to date a classmate or fellow student, or even rekindle your relationship with your ex. I will talk about this in detail in the article “How to find a girl.”

Attempts to influence a woman using material assets

Some men mistakenly believe that a woman's love is for sale. You can give gifts to women, take them to restaurants, cafes, but all this should come from the depths of your soul, from a sincere desire to please the lady you like, to bring her joy, and not to subsequently blackmail or try to manipulate her. Remember that representatives of the fair sex are very sensitive to falsehood and insincerity. If you are trying to buy her affection and love and spend money for this purpose, keep in mind that the first problems that appear will lead to the collapse of your relationship. Women are easy to buy with boundless care, affection, and love. Money will never replace real feelings.

Selfishness

Another very unattractive male quality is selfishness. He slowly but surely destroys relationships. Many men do not understand that women are living beings who can also get tired, who, like all people in the world, need to periodically relax and gain strength. Women often carry a large burden on their shoulders: they simultaneously work, take care of the house and children. Don’t forget that a woman needs your support, that she is also a living person and be more tolerant, try to help her.

Also, don't be selfish in bed. Many relationships fail due to problems in bed. Be interested in your partner’s desires, find out her “weak” points, learn to give her pleasure. Real men, first of all, think about how to please a woman. Selfishness in any of its manifestations has a detrimental effect on relationships. You should get rid of this harmful character trait.

The friend zone: how to avoid getting into it and how to get out

It often happens that a guy wants a relationship with a girl, but she only perceives him as a friend. Many guys are faced with this situation and more than once wonder how to avoid getting into the friend zone? First, you need to understand what a friend zone is. This term has gained particular popularity among the younger generation in recent years. The friend zone is a situation when a girl does not want a relationship with a guy and positions their communication and connection as a whole exclusively as friendly.

“You are so good, smart and understanding, you are my closest friend, you are like a brother to me,” you can hear from a girl who keeps a guy in the friend zone. Often guys, finding themselves in a similar situation, do not take any action to get out of frienddom. This is due to the fear of losing your love. If a girl offers friendship in response to your romantic proposal, think about why this happened?

It often happens that ladies have several backup options. They know what positive qualities a man has, so they are in no hurry to break ties with him. But at the same time, representatives of the fair sex make acquaintances with other men who, unlike their backup option, are self-confident and decisively move on to “combat action.” How should a guy behave so as not to end up in the friend zone?

1. Fight the fear of losing it.

You probably fell so in love with her that you don’t notice anyone around except this one girl. You indulge all her whims and rush to agree with her in everything. And you quietly think to yourself how lucky you are that such a girl allows you to be with her and communicate with her. There is no need to idealize a girl. This is a surefire way to end up in the friend zone and stay there forever. You need to look at it calmly, calmly and try to evaluate it objectively. She is a person like everyone else and has both advantages and disadvantages. Stop being afraid that she won't let you be with her.

1. Remind her that you are a man.

Very often, guys end up in the friend zone even when they are afraid in every possible way and avoid tactile contact. You do not flirt with the girl, do not show her that you are interested in sexual intimacy with her and look at her as an object of sexual desire. Of course, such things must be done extremely carefully and tactfully so as not to scare off the girl and not spoil the relationship with her, but they must be done so as not to fall into her friend zone. Remind her that you are a male, a hunter, a seducer and look at her as a woman, and not as a friend.

1. Flirt and seduce.

In order not to find yourself in such a situation when a girl proposed, wants to be friends, behave with her like a man, and flirt and seduce. Give unusual compliments, ask questions with hints and tricks, touch her unobtrusively, raise spicy topics, create an atmosphere of romance.

1. Don't be trouble-free.

You don’t have to answer “yes” to all her requests. Keep your distance, know how to refuse. Don't devote all your free time to her, don't act like her family member or friend. If you behave this way, you will subsequently come to the conclusion that your friend does not call and does not show interest in you. If it is not difficult for you, for example, to take her grandmother to the village early in the morning or to run to the grocery store with a list of products given to you by her, then you will probably find yourself in the friend zone and the girl will not perceive you as a man.

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Is it possible to get out of the friend zone and how to do it

If a girl offers to remain friends after you confess your feelings to her, or if she clearly pretends that she doesn't understand your true desires, you can be congratulated for getting into her friend zone. Contrary to popular belief, it is possible to get out of it, although it is difficult. How can a guy get out of the friend zone, how can he attract a girl’s sexual interest?

• Don't get hung up.

Don't focus on her alone. Look around, look around. There are so many wonderful, beautiful girls in this world with whom you can pleasantly communicate, spend time, and build relationships. Let her know that you are not her errand boy, that you cannot always be found at the very moment when she wants you. Live a rich life, and let her watch you and see that you can feel good even when she is not with you, that there is a place in your life for other representatives of the fair sex. Feel free to flirt with others, tell your friend about the wonderful qualities of your new acquaintances, intrigue her and make her understand that she is not the only woman in the world.

• Limit communication with her.

If you are trying to show the intentions of a relationship with a girl, and she does not understand them or pretends that she does not understand, wanting to leave everything as it is, limit your communication with this girl, keep it to a minimum. Spend the time you used to spend on her on yourself: take care of your life, your interests and the satisfaction of your desires. Hang out with other girls, go to the cinema with them, develop yourself. Let her see who she might lose. Perhaps this will make her think and make a decision that you have long dreamed of.

• Change.

Shock your love object, impress her, change her. Be a surprise for her. Pay attention to your appearance, start dressing more attractively and brightly. Start playing sports and running in the morning, learn something new for yourself, but remember, you are not doing all this for the sake of the girl, but for yourself. You should be comfortable with yourself. Only in this case can you count on success.

• Tame the girl.

First of all, you must remember that you deserve to be loved and appreciated, and not used for your own purposes. Show your friend that your intentions are not friendly, but masculine. Don't write to her every half hour, try to write to the girl no more often than once every 4-5 days. Composure, independence and relevance - these are the qualities you need to have in order to tame a woman and get out of the friend zone. Let her need what you used to give her and look for it, realizing that you will not come running to her at her first call. Let her now talk about how her friend is not responding.

There is no need to put the interests of another person, even a beautiful girl, above your own interests. Everything you do should first and foremost be driven by the desire to please yourself and benefit yourself. Only such an attitude will help you not to lose yourself in a relationship that has no prospects.

Note: if your steps do not lead to success and you, despite all your efforts, cannot get out of the friend zone, just realize this and let the girl go, exclude any communication with her forever. Accept the fact that she does not see you as her sexual partner. Remember that everything is ahead of you. There will still be many victories and unforgettable love adventures in your life. Accept what is happening to you as an invaluable experience that in the future will help you avoid such unpleasant situations as falling into the friend zone and manipulating your feelings. From now on, you will control the situation and will not sigh because your friend does not write.

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Preparing for the first step

To ask a girl to date, you need to have courage. You will have to work hard, make an effort, and have the desire to build a trusting alliance. In order to marry successfully in the future, you will need to act consistently. It would be correct to first set priorities, accumulate positive energy, and create the appropriate atmosphere.

The first step sets the tone for the courtship process and creates the preconditions for building a serious relationship. It always makes sense to strive to build unlimited trust.

Hobbies and preferences

The beginning of acquaintance, as a rule, coincides with the moment when young people get to know each other. This is an interesting and exciting time, giving additional worries and joys. They have to find out each other's interests and needs and draw conclusions. In order not to get lost in guesses and assumptions, you need to strive to be attentive, communicate more and not be afraid to get to know each other. The ability to share joy is the greatest gift that can be learned. You need to find out as early as possible what a girl’s hobbies are and take into account her preferences.

Appreciate individuality, then relationships will work out much better. It is reasonable to try to praise hobbies, encourage in every possible way, and help your companion feel at the height of the situation.

Frequent pleasant communication

You need to want to create a serious relationship yourself. They will not appear on their own, without due effort on the part and a reasonable approach to what is happening. The ability to draw conclusions will also help you understand what is really happening. You shouldn't expect a girl to take everything upon herself, and the guy won't have to make an effort. Even if communication occurs at a distance, it fills the soul with positivity, helps to form new hopes and joyful impressions.

READ Why girls like bad boys: main reasons

Correspondence often inspires, creates romance in the heart, and gives a deep sense of inner satisfaction. Live interaction is better, however, otherwise it is still possible to maintain a pleasant impression.

Compliments and flirting

Relationships cannot develop if there is no flirting and advances. The girl expects compliments, advances and pleasant statements addressed to her from the guy. It would be unreasonable to ask her to be only a friend who is not trying to make a strong impression.

Flirting is necessary for the formation of understanding, reverent and respectful attitude towards each other. This is natural behavior for a couple in love. Relationships are built according to the direction they take. Attachment will appear later, will be the result of the efforts made. If a girl begins to reciprocate, then happiness will not take long to arrive. Romance should be present at all stages of relationship development.

How to behave with the girl you like

Many guys who dream of winning the heart of their beloved are wondering how to behave on a date? Remember that 1 date will either be a great start to a relationship, or it will turn into the end of communication. The guy needs to make a lasting impression on the object of his sympathy and instill in her heart a desire to see him again. First of all, take care of your appearance. You must be clean, neat, tidy and have a pleasant, fresh aroma. The next important aspect is the ability to maintain a conversation and communicate with a girl. Girls pay attention to seemingly insignificant things, so look into her eyes and smile sincerely, call her by name. All this will help create a connection with the girl on a subconscious level. What to talk about with a girl on the first date? The topics listed below will make communication bright and interesting.

• Hobbies. Listen carefully to what she is interested in. This information will help you win over the object of your sympathy in the future. For example, if she is interested in drawing, you can take her to nature and have a picnic.
• Love to the animals. Animals, especially dogs and cats, evoke tenderness in girls. If you want to impress her and leave her with a nice memory, you can give her a little kitten or puppy in the future, or visit an animal shelter together.
• Favorite films, books, music. This topic is quite extensive. Listen carefully to the girl, ask clarifying questions to learn better about her tastes. You can go with her to the cinema to the premiere of an interesting film, visit a book exhibition or a concert of your favorite performer.

There are many more interesting topics to talk about with a girl. Be sincere, smile, show your interest in communicating with her and give her the opportunity to talk about herself. It is better to schedule a first date in a calm and relaxed place so that young people can talk and get to know each other. Ideal places: park, museum, cafe, embankment, various exhibitions, picnic in nature.

Don't show up to your first date empty-handed. You can buy a small bouquet of flowers or a single rose if your finances are limited. Be gallant: offer your hand, let you pass, give in. Give compliments, but don't overdo them. Do not indulge all women’s whims, gently and tactfully show that you are confident in yourself and know what to do.

First touches, hugs and kisses.

Correctly and timely tactile contact is very important in a relationship. Touching is a way to let her know from the very beginning that you are a hunter and a male. When asked how you can start touching a girl, psychologists answer that this should be done from the first date, but in measured doses.

Many guys are also interested in the question, how can you try to kiss a girl? There is no need to rush things. Not all lovely creatures are ready for a kiss on the first date. Psychologists advise not to rush, but you also shouldn’t delay the issue of the first kiss, otherwise the relationship may stop developing or the guy will firmly settle in her friend zone, as mentioned above. Both the guy and the girl should be emotionally prepared for the first kiss. Remember to keep your breath fresh. After all, bad breath can discourage her from not only kissing you, but also continuing to communicate in general.

Take the only one by the hand and make eye contact. It is best if the place for the first kiss is romantic, the light is slightly dim. Give her a compliment. Pick out one thing about her that you like and tell her about it, while gently and unobtrusively touching her cheeks, hand or hair and slowly leaning towards her lips.

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Pros and cons of open relationships

Many guys prefer open relationships and willingly agree when a woman offers just this type of connection. But more often than not, the guys themselves become the initiators of open relationships. To begin with, let us recall that an open relationship is a connection between a man and a woman, consisting in the absence of obligations, jealousy, reproaches, and resentment. Each partner can communicate or make love with the other person, but cannot demand anything from the person with whom he is in an open relationship or have claims. A guy who is thinking about an open relationship needs to know that the girl in such a relationship dates other guys, makes love with them and just has a good time when she wants it.

The advantages of such a relationship:

• Lack of obligations, demands, reproach and jealousy.
• Lack of dependence on a partner.

Disadvantages of an open relationship:

• Negative attitude of society towards those who are in open relationships.
• The fragility of relationships.
• The risk of falling in love with your partner and getting extreme stress.

Each person makes his own decision whether he needs such a relationship or not. In any relationship between people, there are certain rules that must be followed, otherwise you may end up lonely. It is important to be able to listen to yourself and make decisions, weighing the pros and cons. Only then can you find true happiness in life.

Spontaneity

As we age, our lives acquire structure. We plan our day, we stop having time to do everything. Give up this schedule, allow yourself to be spontaneous.

Don't plan a meeting a week in advance - invite her to watch the sunrise right now, walk all night under the stars, have a small picnic just at lunchtime. The world is amazing - you can see this if you put down your daily planner. Happiness does not make an appointment with us, it comes to us spontaneously.