20 rules for dating on the Internet. What do you need to know?

Online dating is the most popular type of dating in the modern world. Someone is looking for love, someone is lonely and looking for friends, someone is looking for an interlocutor or communication without obligations, and so on. The ultimate goal is different for everyone, but everyone is guided by one single need - the search for attention and getting rid of loneliness. Entire life stories take place on the World Wide Web; today, people spend most of their lives here.

On the Internet, people meet, communicate, quarrel, make peace, show their lives, find hobbies, work and much, much more. Virtual life is gradually replacing the real one, and therefore, if we talk about such an important stage of social life as searching for new acquaintances, you should be guided by some rules that will help turn online dating into a pleasant pastime.

Below are 20 rules of online dating that a user of social networks must follow.

Check out online dating services

Before you start, you should familiarize yourself with online services where online dating is possible. These can be either specialized platforms or regular social networks. The convenience of dating on the Internet is that a special profile is drawn up and photographs are attached, which helps to assess in advance the similarity of interests and attractiveness of a new person.

Both on special sites and on general social networks, people are focused on communication, so making a new acquaintance here will not be difficult. And how acquaintance occurs on VKontakte, read carefully further on the link.

Rules of communication

As in any communication, communication involves at least 2 people, so all the information about you will be conveyed by what you write about. If you are rude, no one will communicate with you. If you constantly write permission words like “maybe,” you will be perceived as a person who lacks self-confidence. Follow this rule: You ask an open-ended question, get an answer and comment on the answer, and ask the question again. And so on in a circle.

The main thing is that communication is not an interrogation like:

• -Hi, how are you?
• -Fine
• -Where are you studying?
• -At University
• -Where do you live?
• -In Moscow.

Question, answer, comment

• - Hello, I saw you here, I decided to write, how are you in the mood?
• -Good))
• - Cool, I have a good one too, today I went to get my cat cut, he looked like a lion. DO YOU love cats?
• -Yes, I really have a hamster at home.
• -You and I are exactly the same, I also have a 25 centimeter hamster
• -I gave this example in a joking manner, but I hope the example is clear that there is no point in asking a girl stupid questions. In fact, it's even better to try talking to a girl without asking questions at all. It's easy.

Cool audio book by David X “Be Tough” I recommend listening to it.

If you can’t listen, write to me, I’ll send you a printed version

Be well mannered2

Do not forget about standard rules of decency. They must be observed not only in personal communication, but also on the Internet. This is not only about insults and deliberate humiliation of any person; this, naturally, is not allowed if your goal is to make adequate acquaintances.

We are also talking about the rules of greeting and address. When making first contact, it is better to address yourself as “you,” even if the new interlocutor is your same age. Remember that it is not immediately acceptable for every person to switch to “you” and communicate like people you have known for a long time.

Different approaches and features of starting online dating

Conventionally, all approaches to starting acquaintance can be divided into two categories - active and passive.

With the active approach , you immediately send a message and wait for a response. It's simple.

The passive approach consists of putting hearts and leaving comments under the photos of the girl you like. But you shouldn’t really hope that the girl will write first after this. The technique may have worked 5 years ago, but is now hopelessly outdated. At best, you will receive a return courtesy.

There is a more cunning option. Study the list of groups in which the girl is a member, find her comments and leave yours in response to her. Don’t expect a response to a comment in the style: “I agree with the author who unsubscribed above.” But the provocation method will work perfectly. Challenge a girl’s opinion and you’ll immediately get her answer (everyone wants to prove they’re right). The main thing is not to be rude, be polite. A couple of comments in the group - and you can safely send private messages.

Don't forget about literacy3

Literacy has never bothered or harmed anyone. To avoid seeming like an uneducated clown, check your speech patterns, punctuation and spelling. It’s better to write in simpler terms than in complex circulatory sentences with a lot of errors.

Literacy is the quality of a person who respects both himself and his interlocutor. Today, it is very fashionable to write correctly on the Internet; there are even special Internet castes who want to “beat with a dictionary” someone who makes unforgivable mistakes when writing. Therefore, if you do not want to become a victim of ridicule, arm yourself with a dictionary.

Prepare your social network page4

Before going on the offensive, you should pay attention to your appearance, but in the case of the Internet, not to your appearance, but to the design of your page on a social network. First, take at least one high-quality photo in which you look good, fill out your application form.

To help the other person get to know you better, add some music or other recordings to the page to reflect your interests. The clearer and more original your online profile is, the greater your chances of attracting the attention of the opposite sex.

How to meet a girl on VKontakte

This site is known to you firsthand and you have probably already received many refusals. I want to warn you that this will continue. According to statistics, even with the most correct approach, girls on VK do not respond to messages in 45-50% of cases. Such a harsh truth. But if you do it wrong, you may lose even those 50% of girls who respond.

How to learn

To understand how to properly meet people on the Internet, you need to develop an approach. So, in order:

1. You weed out the girls you will train on. Choose absolutely any city and put the same one on your page. You need to gain experience before writing to a girl you really like, and those with whom you will communicate will even help with advice!
2. Next, you choose 10 normal, not “fashionable”, not “scary”, but simple pretty girls “online”, perhaps with cockroaches - good for training.
3. You write everyone the same message with an individual character for each of the applicants. Recommendations for writing your first message below↓
4. Let's call it exercise. You need to repeat it until 8 out of 10 girls continue the dialogue with you. Once a week is enough.

Thanks to such training, your page will be filled with interesting girls from whom you can ask for advice, and you will gain confidence in your abilities and can easily develop a dialogue.

Your task:

1. practice a certain model of communication that is inherent to you on the Internet;
2. learn to determine which message suits a certain type of girl;
3. be able to develop a dialogue until its final completion or its goal;

It is important to have a goal for communicating with a girl, that is, set a goal to get a number and achieve it in various ways, otherwise you will waste your time.

Don't be corny6

You should not write “hackneyed” phrases. It is necessary to structure the dialogue in such a way that the interlocutor is interested in writing a response message. It is necessary to come up with such verbal turns that will develop the dialogue, and not suppress it.

With compliments, too, you should be more careful, you shouldn’t abuse them, but you shouldn’t ignore this point either. You don't need to be too sweet in your messages, but you shouldn't be too cocky either. The result is the same: when building a dialogue, there must be harmony and balance.

The latest short compliments to a girl are already waiting for you in our article.

The main mistakes at the beginning of correspondence

• Never use banal phrases and cliches: “You are beautiful! Let's get acquainted?";
• "Hello! How are you?";
• “If you like me, write!”;
• “Maybe we can talk?”

Be careful with fake pages7

Learn to identify “spoof pages,” as many people like to embellish themselves, and sometimes even pretend to be someone they are not. If a person has too few photos on the page, but the ones that are the most ideal or all the photos are posted from the same number, then you should think about whether this is a real person or not.

In order to check whether the photos appear somewhere else, you can check the image using a search query in some browsers.

How to create a profile correctly

Do not fill out your profile and especially the “about yourself” column if you are in a bad mood or tired after a long day of work. Wait until you get inspired. Before you fill out the survey, ask yourself a few questions and write down the answers. What do I consider the most important strengths in myself? How do I see an ideal relationship? What kind of partner am I looking for, what shortcomings am I willing to put up with? How do I see my future? What makes me feel better?

Men adore women with a sense of humor. Remember, you are not writing a resume, dry and serious. Your goal is to intrigue and entice a man to follow you. To do this, it is not necessary to indicate what education and where you received. But to tell you that you adore perfume and think that a drop of your favorite scent is the best outfit in which to meet your beloved man after work, as Marilyn Monroe said, is quite worth it.

Decide on goals and desires8

Decide in advance for yourself what exactly you want to get from dating on the Internet. Depending on your goal, you can decide on a circle of people who would help you fulfill your desire.

Many dating platforms and social networks contain special search selections that will help you find a person depending on your request, for example, select by city, age, interests, education, and so on. This makes it much easier to find the person you need.

Beautiful and original dating methods

Use your talents. If you are good at drawing, then make a pencil sketch of a portrait of a girl and send her a photo of the result of your creativity. The answer won't take long. You can send a message with a photo explaining what motivated you to do this, but avoid cliched phrases about muses and inspiration.

Do you have literary talent? Great! Dedicate a short poem to the girl. Just don’t praise her beauty. It’s better to come up with a humorous piece about dating on the Internet, and at the end ask if she still wants to take a risk.

Write a small compliment to the young lady you like every day at the same time. It's okay if she doesn't answer. Don't stop writing for 14-20 days. But one day, leave her unattended. The girl will want to know what happened to her persistent admirer today.

Approach things with humor. As a template for the first message, you can use, for example, a job application. It will look something like this: “I ask you to hire me as an attentive friend and interesting conversationalist from November 10, 2015 with a full-time work schedule from Monday to Friday from 18.00 to 02.00.”

Be yourself9

You should not pretend to be someone else; for example, you should not upload beautiful photographs of other Internet users. Do not exaggerate your abilities in the application form, do not create a false impression of yourself.

Because sooner or later, if communication becomes more serious, you will have to reveal all your cards and the reaction of your new acquaintance may be very ambiguous. Be yourself, but try to show your best qualities that will show you at your best.

Rule 6: Demonstrate your value

Remember, we are treated the way we treat ourselves. If you're over 30 (40, 50, etc.) and you think that online dating is your last chance to jump on the marriage train, men will treat you accordingly. That is, without respect and initiative on their part. The maximum that shines for you with such an attitude towards yourself is the role of a mistress. Do you need this? Learn to value yourself and show it to men. How? Make it clear that you are a busy, modern woman with many plans for the future. Schedule a conversation at certain times and days, because at other times you are at a dance, at the gym, etc. End the correspondence because “you got a call from work.”

Remember a very important rule - always end the dialogue first! And try to follow the Scheherazade principle - stop the conversation at the most interesting point. Leave the intrigue. May your man always be interested in you. Make him think about you with the help of understatement, “unfinished gestalt.” It works!

But there is a very important “but”. You should only do these things with those men with whom you already have minimal mutual interest. You only need to push away a little if you are already close enough. At the very beginning of dating, you need to use these tricks very subtly so as not to harm the relationship.

Analyze the potential partner's page10

Before you start communicating, do not forget to take advantage of the wonderful and unique opportunity to analyze the page of a potential partner. This way you can identify the interests and hobbies of your future acquaintance. This will help you choose topics for conversation and interest the person. The more interesting and close to the interlocutor the topics for conversation are selected, the faster and more successful the communication will be.

Don’t demand too much from your interlocutor12

Don't put pressure on your new interlocutor. If it is clear from communication that a person is not inclined to communicate, then it is better not to impose yourself and not to force the other person to do something that he does not want. If a person does not want to give his phone number, then there is no need to ask.

If a person does not want a personal meeting, then there is no need to pursue and insist on meeting in person. In online dating there should be ease and spontaneity for both participants in the conversation.

Let's meet on a dating site

How to meet a girl on the Internet? Of course, on a dating site - they are all open to communication and dating, they don’t have boyfriends and they are just waiting for their prince. But on the other hand, there are thousands of active users on popular sites and they are not sitting idle.

Your task is to stand out from the twenty men who wrote to your beauty at the same time as you. What do I need to do:

1. Never write to a girl what you could write to everyone else. That is, “you’re beautiful, let’s get to know each other” won’t work. And most likely, 15 of those 20 people will write to her exactly like that. Look at her profile and write something unique to her.
2. If the site is designed in such a way that messages are conveyed with a subject, always make it beautiful.
3. If possible, write to girls who are “online” - this way you will immediately see the result if she does not want to continue communication.

Girl: “Marina, brunette, 17 years old, student at a pedagogical school”

Letter:

Topic: “To the most charming girl of the pedagogical school”

Contents: “Hello, Marina. It was not for nothing that I risked calling you the most beautiful girl in the school, because with eyes as deep as yours, it simply cannot be otherwise. I'm guessing this isn't the first time you've heard about this, which makes me sound a little corny.

Then I would like to tell you about myself: my name is Oleg, I do programming, and in my free time I prefer active recreation. I will soon turn 22 years old and for my birthday I would like to meet a wonderful girl with whom I can go on an interesting journey.”

1. The second rule follows from the written letter: a message on a dating site should not be too short. You have to make a girl read it and think about you. A simple 25th “Hello” risks even going unnoticed. But a long, interesting letter is sure to stand out from the background of banal one-word messages.
2. Romance and mystery won't hurt you. For example, in communication, do not be shy about doing strange things: write that you are inviting her to a slow dance. In your next message you can write her the name of a beautiful slow song that she should listen to.

Experiment + example

For the sake of the experiment, 10 girls were chosen, the introduction was the same, and the answers were not particularly different. The goal is to get a phone number.

Me: Hello, are you looking for love?) She: Maybe / I’m just chatting / Of course / No Me: It’s unlikely that you can find anyone on this site, they only offer all sorts of nonsense... She: Exactly / Yes, yes / Bla-Blah-Blah Me: I hope you’re a good girl, you don’t write anything bad?)) She: No / No, I’m good / I don’t write... Me: Honestly, I haven’t visited such sites before, apparently I won’t go again, after what they write here. Let's talk on the phone for 2 minutes. Write the number)

Result:

• 2 wrote their number after the last message;
• 4 wrote the number after several messages, basically I complimented and said that I was in a hurry;
• 3 continued the conversation, later giving a number (banal conversation about interests + intrigue);
• 1 refused to give her phone number and the conversation was not continued

The dialogue is a little truncated, but the essence of the correspondence is clear, I will reveal the psychology of such an acquaintance in the following articles, if you are interested, write in the comments.

Don't be too intrusive13

If you don't get an answer the first, second or third time, don't force yourself on the person. Not everyone is in the mood to communicate via the Internet, and a person may simply not be in the right mood for meeting new people. Respect other people's needs and do not violate another person's comfort zone; you should not write to a person 24/7 if you do not receive feedback from him. Communication should be mutual, do not impose yourself, no need to spoil the impression of yourself.

Likes

If you are a pragmatic and cunning guy, then you probably already know that there are offlikers who like everyone. The Tinder developers also know about this, accordingly, there is an algorithm that calculates how quickly you like others and if you like everyone and don’t dislike, then your profile is perceived as a robot, your rating decreases and they start showing you crocodiles. You start liking crocodiles and, voila, you're back where you started.

Pay attention to the interests of your interlocutor14

If your interlocutor is interested in music, for example, then be sure to be interested in this. Find out more about his favorite musical groups, find out if concerts are planned in your city, and so on. Show your interlocutor that you are interested in everything he tells you, or rather writes.

Share interests, ask about them enthusiastically, and then communication will be easier. But if suddenly the interests of your interlocutor are not close to you, then under no circumstances should you insult his hobbies, as this can greatly offend the person.

Preparing for correspondence

It is much easier to meet a girl you like on the Internet than in real life. Communicating on social networks, young people feel more protected, confident and relaxed.

Dating by correspondence especially attracts shy teenagers who sweat and stutter while talking with girls and don’t know where to put their hands, what to say or what to talk about. Moreover, it is not at all necessary that the guy is a loser and a weakling, he just has a terrible complex and is nervous. But in correspondence he can show his best side.

And it’s much easier for girls to first meet a guy remotely, understand his character, find out his interests, habits, hobbies, and only then meet in person.

Before you write to a girl, send her a friend request, and if she accepts it, this is the first step to success. But before that, analyze your account, delete provocative photos, for example, where another girl kisses or hugs you. They will be unpleasant for your new passion.

Photo: https://pixabay.com/photos/woman-grown-up-within-people-3083377/

Keep in mind that any girl to whom you begin to show signs of attention will definitely study your Internet page up and down. In real life, girls first of all pay attention to a guy’s appearance and his manner of communication. It's the same in the virtual world. She will be interested not only in photographs, but also in other information - music, films, games, wall posts, groups and communities to which he is subscribed.

Therefore, before you start dating a girl, try to look at your account through her eyes. Get out of groups like “How to get a girl to have sex?” or “All women are bitches.” Delete obscene comments and stupid wall posts. Initially, expect that the girl is intelligent and decent, which means she may be offended by this style of your page and she will simply refuse to communicate with you.

Don’t forget to look at the girl’s page, like her photos and posts on the wall - this will in any case add her interest to your person. And if the girl likes you in response, then you can safely send a request to be added to Friends and start getting acquainted.

Girls often use this technique - they like a guy’s photo and wait to see if he’ll write or not? So, if the girl reacted to your photo first, we can assume that you have been given the green light.

Feel free to offer a personal meeting16

Communication on the Internet, of course, can go on forever, but then does such communication make sense? There is no need to rush, but if you are already confident in your interest, and most importantly, in the interest of your partner, then offer a personal meeting.

This will help online communication become something more, and maybe online dating will develop into something more. The main task is not to rush a personal meeting, but to schedule it in a timely manner, when both partners are ready.

Why doesn't the girl text first?

Many guys pay attention to the fact that some girls prefer not to start a dialogue, but only respond to their initiative. It is important to understand that this is not always a sign of low interest in the interlocutor. It just so happens that a significant number of girls are convinced that it is almost bad form to write to a young man first. What arguments do they use for this?

"Respectable girls don't chase boys."

Often this is the attitude that many mothers instill in their daughters from childhood. Relying on their experience, which often corresponds to reality, young women explain to girls that young people often do not appreciate people who “go into their own hands” and “hang themselves on their necks.” Also, from a young age, girls hear the statement that “men by nature are hunters,” which means that they can only be truly attracted to something that still needs to be fought for. It is for this reason that some girls not only do not write to young people first, but also do not call them, do not initiate meetings, and the like. They are simply afraid, thus, of losing the interest of the chosen one. If this is really the case, then she will probably react quickly when your initiative is shown.

She doesn't like you.

As sad as it may be, this option is quite possible. The girl didn’t see you as a potential boyfriend, and therefore simply sees no reason not only to initiate some kind of communication on her own, but sometimes she supports it rather sluggishly. It is possible that she initially indicated her attitude towards you, but you continue to be persistent, but it may also be that out of politeness or for some other reasons you do not clarify this point, believing that you will figure it out yourself.

She doesn't want to be in the crowd.

The girl assumes that you already have enough pen pals without her, and it’s unlikely that she stands out as something special to you. Most girls want to feel “chosen” and do not agree to the role of “extras”. It is quite possible that she is mistaken, and you do not have an abundance of interlocutors, but this does not change the essence - she really believes that you already have someone to communicate with, and she does not plan to sit on the “spare bench”. It is possible that you yourself created the appearance of your popularity. This spurs some people, but there are also those who, on the contrary, are “slowed down” by this state of affairs.

Humiliation.

Surely, many guys will find this strange and stupid, but some people actually believe that writing to a young man first is something akin to humiliation. It is difficult to say where such thoughts come from in the head of this or that person. Most often they are dictated by negative experiences previously experienced with another guy. Perhaps the girl often wrote to someone, showed obvious interest, and ended up being humiliated in some way. Girls who feel this way about taking initiative are rare, but they still happen.

Resentment.

If before the girl still periodically initiated a dialogue with you, but gradually this faded away, then there is a high probability that she is simply offended by you for something. Surely, you can guess for yourself what could be the reason for the offense - to do this, read the latest correspondence or ask the question directly.

Considers herself obsessive.

Perhaps, before, the girl often wrote to you first and gradually she began to get tired of this state of affairs. She felt that she was being too intrusive towards you and did not see enough interest on your part. Not wanting to look in an unattractive light anymore, she decided not to initiate communication anymore, and thus test your true attitude towards her.

You're not her type.

She may like you as a person and as a friend, but she doesn’t want to give you extra hope for a possible relationship. Many girls have their own idea in their minds about what their ideal chosen one should be, and they try not to deviate from the intended “course”.

Be that as it may, at the initial stage, do not focus the girl’s attention on the fact that you do not like her lack of initiative. Until you become her boyfriend or potential boyfriend, you don't have much value to her, so such claims will most likely only push her away. Just let her know that you always look forward to messages from her, and you are pleased when she writes to you. Subsequently, if the relationship reaches a serious level, then, of course, it makes sense to raise this topic and find out the reasons for the lack of initiative.

Praise and give compliments18

Every person, both man and woman, will be pleased to receive compliments. The main thing is not to overdo it, so as not to seem like a flatterer or an intrusive person. Compliments must be appropriate and adequate.

It is better for girls to talk about their talents and abilities, but they should not often talk about their beauty, since for a girl, frequently receiving compliments about beauty or sexuality is a kind of call for intimacy. Men, too, should be given compliments, despite the fact that they are the stronger half of humanity. Compliment his interests and abilities.

Find out how to correctly compliment a girl about her beauty in our article, follow the link.

How and what to talk about on the phone?

• In this format, communication becomes more personal. Therefore, it is appropriate to ask as many questions as possible. It is important to listen more than talk. Ask him questions about himself that do not require short “Yes”/“No” answers - so-called open questions. Ask him how was his day? What are your plans for tomorrow?
• Feel free to ask questions about the past, but do it correctly and without turning it into an interrogation. It is better to ask why he chose this profession for himself, and not about how many girls he had while studying at the university.
• If you are going to have a video conversation on Skype, the man should not get the impression that you somehow specially prepared for this. You should look well-groomed and neat, but not as if you are going to an expensive restaurant with him. That is, it is not necessary to wear an evening dress, nor do you need to do festive makeup.

Don't rush the process19

Under no circumstances should you rush your new acquaintance into any further actions, for example, closer communication. Don’t rush the person to urgently meet or call. It should be understood that everyone has their own boundaries of what is permitted and excessive intrusiveness can lead to a person simply turning away from you, considering him too persistent.

Let communication take its course, the Internet is not a place where you need to rush. When in a hurry, it is better to choose more effective methods, for example, dating in bars and clubs.

Rule 4: Switch to phone

With the men you like, switch to telephone communication or at least Skype as soon as possible. Exchange phone numbers. Remember: you can't waste precious time. Telephone communication will help you quickly understand whether you are really interested in each other, whether he turns you on as a man (timbre, intonation of voice are very important in this matter). In addition, this way you will quickly weed out those “macho men” who initially did not have serious intentions, but were exclusively inclined towards sentimental correspondence novels. For example, they are married and want new experiences.