Who can become a victim of flatterers
Men do not always give compliments from the bottom of their hearts. Often good words and praise are flattery! The most susceptible to flattery are women, to whom the stronger sex has not paid attention for a long time. Cunning men know what ladies who haven't been in a relationship for many years want to hear. If you belong to this category of women, be careful!
They know that you want to feel beautiful, special and wanted. As a result, you let your guard down and let him into your world. You begin to believe in a beautiful fairy tale about love and are convinced that the flatterer will be with you all your life.
But if you hear a stream of compliments so rapid that it “knocks you off your feet,” think about it. Perhaps the man wants to take advantage of your gullibility in order to quickly win over you and encourage you to enter into a relationship with him. Which will most likely end after the first meeting.
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Principles of selection and use of affectionate words and nicknames.
First of all, you need to be guided by a sense of tact and appropriateness. It is absurd to call an adult, self-sufficient man a baby, even if he does not have an athletic physique. The treatment should not be offensive, and gentle words should not be intrusive. The epithet with which you award your loved one should increase his self-esteem, and not belittle him. In addition, psychologists recommend periodically updating your vocabulary and diversifying gentle words. You need to call a guy in a relationship something that he likes.
How to come up with your own suitable word, what to rely on
First of all, you need to rely on the individual characteristics of the object of your adoration and the relationship that develops between you. A tender nickname can reflect the chosen one’s profession or hobby, or appearance features.
It’s good if you come up with something of your own, as only you can call it. For example, for Evgeny, Zhenyulechka, or Zhenyushechka, sounds unconventional. And if you add “my”, it will turn out completely individual. You can use generally accepted options, but this is uninteresting and banal.
Popular affectionate nicknames for guys and cute names for your loved one
Here are some common options for addressing your loved one.
Affectionate addresses
Sounds sweet:
- native
- Darling
- delicious;
- gold;
- beloved.
Try continuing the list yourself.
Cute nicknames
Try different options:
- magician;
- macho;
- teddy bear;
- bunny;
- tiger cub
Nice and unobtrusive.
Funny messages
Funny nicknames can be used if your sense of humor matches. For example: Masik, Lapundel, Papsik, Teletubby, etc.
Original nicknames
Original nicknames are selected based on individual characteristics and hobbies.
Dolphin - if he is engaged in swimming. Boss - suitable for a leader. Masyanya, Luntik - for a cartoon lover. Sweet – for those with a sweet tooth.
By name
Sashulya, Zhenek, Vanyushka, Ilya Muromets, Tokha are nicknames derived from the name. Many change names in a foreign manner: Enotni - instead of Anton, Georges - instead of George. Changing your name is perhaps the most harmless and acceptable option for any stage of dating.
Sexual nicknames
The sphere of intimate relationships is intended for two. Therefore, such nicknames are not for prying ears. Mister Tempter, Mustang, Insatiable - depends on your relationship with him.
Beware of Pathological Controllers
Another possible reason for a shower of compliments early in a relationship is that you have met a man who is looking for a receptive woman who will let him into her life in exchange for flattering words. Your gullibility lets him know that you are easy to manipulate.
Most likely, he will follow you like crazy and watch your every move. A manipulative man will want to be with you every minute. And when you disappear from his sight, he begins to get nervous. Such men rush relationships. Don't be surprised if already during the second date you are offered to move or get married. Watch out! It's not about ardent feelings, but about the desire to take control of you and control every second!
Once a controlling man feels that the relationship is established and he has won you over, you will notice a huge change in his behavior. He will stop playing nice guy and start dictating his own rules to you.
Think positive
If you cannot avoid communicating with this person, try to develop a certain line of behavior. To make it easier for you to keep your eyes on him and act friendly, remember something good and pleasant. Keep thinking about it, just listening a little to what your colleague says. Do not participate in the conversation, just nod your head periodically without showing any emotion. With all your appearance, you must demonstrate that you respect his point of view, but you cannot or do not want to accept it for yourself.
Narcissists also love to shower women with compliments.
Narcissists also tend to start relationships with flattery. At first, such men put you on a pedestal. However, give it some time. Very soon the narcissist will see your shortcomings: real or imagined, and will begin to tell you about them
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He will then try to change you to fit his expectations. Everything beautiful fades into the background. This toxic relationship cannot be fixed.
Give him some attention
If your coworker is constantly stressing or pretending to know everything, this means that he is sorely lacking attention. Perhaps there is not enough attention in principle or specifically yours. He wants to attract him to his person with all his might, but does not know how to do it correctly. Therefore, he does what he knows how to do.
Don't be too hard on him, because this person definitely has low self-esteem. He wants to seem like the smartest in order to rise above other people. Perhaps he is just very jealous of you, so he came up with this performance in order to have an illusory advantage. Be lenient and give him a little more attention.
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Not all men are bad
Watch the behavior of a man who showers you with compliments. Flattery can be a sign of lack of self-confidence. But you also have to understand that not all men who say good things to you are bad. There are also representatives of the stronger sex who give compliments from the bottom of their hearts simply because they admire you.
On the first date, such men often get lost and start to worry. Under the onslaught of emotions, they begin to say everything they think about. In such situations, compliments are spoken to oneself, unintentionally. When he spits out compliment after compliment about how beautiful you are—going on and on about your eyes, hair, figure, and more—he may actually be showing you his insecurities.
He may be hoping to win you over by expressing admiration for the positive aspects of your personality that have caught his attention. But a confident woman will understand that what is happening is very doubtful!
Questions appear
- Am I worse?
- Why is he doing this?
- Why with me?
- What does he want to show me by his actions?
Tears, hysterics, quarrel... Now you are at a loss. In fact, this is precisely the reason why you are reading my article now. Well, then let's go find out.
There are actually several emotional categories under which your boyfriend could compliment another girl.
Perhaps he didn’t mean what you thought he meant. Don't take my words to heart, just let's figure it out.
How to tell if a man is sincere or not
A man who finds you very attractive will give you one or two compliments in one evening. He may like your hairstyle, outfit or smile. And he will certainly say about it.
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Sincere men will not shower you with compliments immediately after meeting you. Such representatives of the stronger sex restrain themselves out of self-esteem. They do not tell you everything at once and do not reveal their true attitude towards you, so as not to become vulnerable. They will first get to know you well, and only after that will they open their soul and heart to you.
That's why men wait three days before calling. They don't like to rush and are not going to reveal their true feelings in the early stages of a relationship. Men want to understand how you will react to his call and unexpected appearance in your life. If at the first meeting you notice that your partner is quite reserved, and already on the second date he showers you with compliments, rest assured that he really likes you, and all his words are absolutely sincere.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
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Of course, it is more important to feel attractive yourself than to think what others think about this, the psychologist concludes. But deep down, we still like to know that the person next to us finds us beautiful and is able to sincerely express it.
Therefore, try to explain to your companion that a compliment is a sign of care, respect and attention to you. This is a sign of the inner beauty of your chosen one, which always affects the outer beauty.
If a man talks a lot, feel free to leave
Most men won't be caught off guard when they give compliments. Confident and sincere people do not doubt their words. So, if the person you just met starts showering you with compliments and constantly extolling your virtues, feel free to turn around and leave.
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Even if it's been too long since someone paid attention to you and said nice words, think twice before trusting someone you don't know.
Erroneous reactions
Compliments drive some into a stupor, others into blush. First of all, it is necessary to understand why there is an inadequate return on praise.
Causes
The reaction to a compliment depends not only on the speaker, but also on the internal state of the “receiving party.” If she feels unworthy of kind words or, on the contrary, takes them for granted, this becomes the reason for an inadequate, strange response.
Low self-esteem
An insecure lady often cannot agree with a compliment. She doubts that she possesses the mentioned qualities and deserves a positive assessment. A kind word can be perceived as a mockery or a trick with the help of which an attempt is made to gain benefit.
The other extreme is being overly enthusiastic about a compliment. The girl craves praise and often asks for it herself, thereby solving her internal problems through this.
The only way out of this situation is to work through your complexes, learn to love yourself and believe in your strengths.
Heightened self-esteem
The opposite situation is when any praise is taken for granted and even devalued: “And that’s all?!” It is difficult to please such people, because they consider themselves superior to others. As a result, people begin to get annoyed by such confidence in their own exclusivity. If a girl notices arrogance, often unfounded, in herself, it’s time for her to work on her self-esteem.
Incorrect reactions: what are they?
It is important for girls to remember that an inappropriate response to a compliment not only reveals complexes, but also puts a man in an uncomfortable position. If the sign of attention is dubious, then it is quite appropriate to ignore it or respond coldly. But a person with sincere intentions may be offended by such a return.
Objection
Often girls are guilty of denial, and the phrase “This dress suits you!” they give a thousand arguments why this cannot be true. An attempt to belittle your merits looks at least strange, betrays uncertainty and completely discourages the desire to sing praises.
Justification
In response to a compliment about her beautiful hair, the girl starts a long monologue about how much time she spent in front of the mirror using a hair straightener. It is unlikely that anyone will want to listen to unnecessary details. Why make excuses for your advantages?
Neglect
Ignoring is justified if the interlocutor is deeply unpleasant or his words demonstrate disrespect. Gratitude for pleasant words, even if they were spoken formally - banal politeness.
How to tell if this is the right man
If you are looking for true love, a slow, consistent relationship is best. Look for a man who will not manipulate you or assert himself at your expense. For serious relationships, representatives of the stronger sex are suitable who regularly invite you on dates or outings and maintain constant contact with you.
He is not one of those who leaves you to your fate because he wants to get to know you better or make sure you are serious about your intentions. At first, he will ask you out once or twice a week, call you at least once a week, and text you periodically. As you get to know each other better and better, your feelings will grow.
A sincere man who is interested in a serious relationship with you asks questions to get to know you better and listens enthusiastically to your answers. He wants to know what you like and what makes you happy. But at the same time, he is in no hurry to shower you with compliments.
How to call a guy affectionately so that he likes it
It's quite normal for guys to start a conversation with a girl they don't know with something like "baby" or "babe." Many people do this, and girls react to it normally. What about girls?
Here it is important not to overact and find appropriate words that will not cause a negative reaction from the chosen one or create an awkward situation.
Calling a man affectionately at the very beginning of a relationship is quite acceptable. In this way you will demonstrate a special attitude towards him. You can use different phrases and words.
Common beautiful phrases for everyone
Commonly used addresses for lovers are “dear”, “dear”, “beloved”. Of course, not everyone will decide to call a guy that on the first day of meeting him. But why not use such epithets in a humorous manner. It is unlikely that a young man will be indignant at being called “handsome”, even from a girl he doesn’t know well. Moreover, if what is said is accompanied by a smile and looks like light flirting. Using a name is also considered a standard technique.
When addressing a young man, you can use the official Alexander, Vladimir, Andrey, or you can also use Sashulya, Volodechka, Andryusha: do you feel the difference? It seems that the guy will be pleased with such treatment, unless, of course, you are in an official setting. You can also use somewhat outdated, but gallant phrases, for example, “Sir”, “Mr. Perfect”. There are many options. Show your ingenuity and imagination, choose a suitable epithet for the guy you like.
How to affectionately call a young man at the beginning of a relationship
Correctly chosen addresses and epithets at the beginning of a relationship will help to shorten the distance and find the key to the heart of the chosen one. After one or two dates, when the relationship has already begun but has not yet strengthened, it is important to choose a style of address that suits the young man. To emphasize his individuality, to emphasize his attractive sides. Men are pleased to hear tender addresses from the girl they like. Even the most serious guy can come up with an affectionate or humorous nickname, to which he will react with a smile.
Here are some examples:
- Sun (Sunny);
- My knight (My hero);
- Mishutka (if his name is Mikhail).
It is important not to go too far: nicknames should emphasize charms, not shortcomings, and not lower a man’s self-esteem.
At the beginning of a relationship, a man can be called affectionately when he accepts it. But it is better to refuse the words against which he protests.
How to call a guy cute, kindly and tenderly in correspondence
Communication by correspondence dictates its own rules. Tender addresses and diminutive nicknames are also appropriate here. But if you are just starting to communicate on social networks or on a dating site, you should maintain your distance at first. First, get to know your counterpart, understand his inclinations and character, and only then move on to tenderness.
Here are some examples for addressing a man in correspondence:
- gentle;
- adored;
- charming;
- macho;
- gentleman;
- señor;
- beautiful;
- angel.
It is appropriate to use an abbreviation or change in a foreign manner of the name, to use the prefix mine (for example: my hero, my angel). However, there is no point in repeating ourselves. Use your imagination and ingenuity, but avoid being intrusive.
How to write a guy or a man on the phone affectionately: a list of words
You can, of course, designate your chosen one in the phone book by first or last name, but it is more interesting to come up with a personal designation that characterizes your relationship.
Here is a list of suitable words:
- darling;
- Darling;
- the best man;
- my.
Many people use the affectionate nickname:
- Baby;
- bunny;
- cat;
- tiger cub
The list of affectionate, unusual names for the phone book is inexhaustible. It all depends on your relationship. The main thing is that this name is not offensive to a loved one. After all, he can see what name is indicated on your phone.
Flatterer tactics
Men who rely on flattery don't take the time to see you or dial your phone number. It also happens that they first fill your life with their presence, and then suddenly disappear.
There can be no rush when it comes to long-term and promising relationships. So don't be fooled by some guy who flatters you and is in a hurry to strengthen your relationship. Avoid men who exhibit this type of behavior if you don't want to be disappointed and left with a broken heart.
Relationship
“I'm a narcissist. And I don't love you. I say that I love. I even believe it for a while. But I don't love you. I don't know what love is. I don't know what feelings are. That's why I need you. I need your feelings and emotions so that I can continue to pretend that I have them too.”
The narcissist needs your full range of positive emotions that you know, feel and hear. Therefore, you will be delighted with gifts, surprises and romance in order to receive your emotions in return. But the time will come and the narcissist will want to receive negative emotions: sadness, anger, guilt, etc.
“I will need everything that can cause pain and tears. Not my pain and not my tears, of course. I don't know how to cry. But I want to know what it is. And I will hurt you. I know how. People—normal people like you—have described a lot of things that hurt them.”
To cause pain, you will be manipulated and ignored. Lock yourself in and be silent. The narcissist will do anything to make you cry without even caring about you. But the need for negative emotions will pass and positive emotions will be needed from you. “The main thing is that I need you strong. I don’t need a dog on a leash, I need a strong person next to me, with a rich inner world and a full range of feelings and emotions that I can also see. Sorry, I'm not ashamed. I do not love you".
Why are compliments so important?
Professional sphere.
The ability to compose and pronounce compliments correctly is a sign of good communication skills. And they are highly valued in modern business. With a few nice words you can:
- attract the attention of management, establish yourself well;
- improve relationships with colleagues and business partners;
- motivate subordinates to work more productively;
- find, convince, retain clients and sponsors.
This skill will allow new employees to be remembered and leave a good impression of themselves. It will distinguish you from other employees and emphasize other positive qualities.
Personal life.
Nice words are great helpers when meeting people. They lift the mood of the interlocutor and increase the chances of meeting again. In relationships, such phrases bring people closer together and even help to “educate” the partner. By expressing praise for a certain quality, a person thereby “programs” his partner to develop this trait. Tender words have never been superfluous.
In amorous affairs, endearing expressions show love, care, and other strong feelings. They reduce the number of quarrels by creating a healthy atmosphere in the union. The same goes for friendship and family ties.
Useful lifehacks
We have reviewed the basic principles. But there are a few more mini-tips I want to share with you.
- Choose the right time to give compliments. They must be appropriate to the situation. You shouldn't tell a colleague at a work meeting how silky her hair is.
- The compliment should be short and concise. There is no need to stretch it out into several sentences. Sometimes an emotional “wow” and your eloquent look will be enough.
- Monitor your emotions when people praise you. Reflection will help you distinguish a good compliment from a bad one. If words instead of joy cause annoyance and irritation, then this is a bad compliment. Don't say it yourself.
- Praise yourself. Let this be a kind of training. After this, it will be much easier for you to praise other people.
- A compliment said in front of witnesses is valued much higher than one said in private.
- Pay attention to the positive qualities of the people you interact with. Then it will be easier for you to say nice words to them.
- Compliment people, not their things. Instead of saying “I like your shoes,” say “you look very beautiful in those shoes.”
- Praise those qualities of a person that he himself considers important. If you have an athlete in front of you, you can note his good physical shape, and if you are a scientist, you can note his brilliant mind.
- Don't wait for a reaction. They said nice words - change the topic. This will highlight your generosity. You praise a person not in order to extract something, but simply from the heart.
- Don't envy the person you praise. And don't praise someone you envy. Otherwise, your compliment will look fake. Emotions will give you away.
- Don't be banal, be imaginative. Let your praise be original and creative.
- Emphasize the uniqueness of the person. He will be pleased if your words are addressed exclusively to him. Say, for example, not “you have a very beautiful face,” but “your mole on your cheek drives me crazy.”
- You can praise a person not only verbally, but also in writing. A person will be able to return to them again and again and remember you.
