How to take revenge on your husband for cheating: basic methods and advice from a psychologist

Betrayal is a terrible blow to trust. We can say that this is a real betrayal on the part of the spouse. And of course, such behavior causes a whole flurry of negative emotions - anger, hatred, resentment, self-pity, a sense of injustice. And the desire for revenge. All you have to do is figure out how to take revenge on your husband for cheating, and it will become a little easier for you. It's true?

Is it worth taking revenge on your husband?

The first reaction is usually the same for all women. And immediately thoughts of revenge appear, a desire to hurt the husband more, so that he at least partially experiences similar feelings. Punish him for betrayal and deceit.

But when emotions subside, you will have to live with the consequences of your revenge.

  1. How to save a marriage when you have done something unpleasant to your husband?
  2. If someone finds out about your actions, they may condemn you.
  3. You yourself may be unpleasant about what you did.

It's nice to think that punishment for cheating will help you get over this pain faster. But usually you only become more fixated on the offense and are unable to move on.

First of all, with revenge you will make things worse for yourself.

Although sometimes a woman cannot move on until she “gives back” to the traitor. They even begin to take revenge on their ex-husband a few years later in order to survive the betrayal. The choice is yours. But it’s better to take a short break so that strong emotions have time to pass. Then you will definitely be confident in your decision to take revenge on your husband for cheating.

Black magic

Oh, how I want to look into the future! What if he starts begging for forgiveness and promising mountains of gold? We open any newspaper or type “get my husband back” into the search engine, and you immediately become the owner of a dozen phones that promise a love spell and eternal happiness. Many of the so-called magicians simply take money from gullible women. And this is the most harmless option.

Today you are ready to send all the troubles of the world onto the heads of your husband and his girlfriend. Time will pass, perhaps you will decide to continue to go through life together, but the damage caused will not go away. If you are nearby, then it may well go to both you and your loved ones.

How not to take revenge for betrayal

It is clear that in a state of passion, only after learning about betrayal, a woman is capable of anything. But you always need to think about the future, about morality, about other things besides revenge. After all, sooner or later the pain from betrayal will subside, and you will have to live with the consequences of revenge.


When emotions are at their limit, it is easy to do something stupid.

Under no circumstances should you:

  1. Physical injury. Under no circumstances should you fight with your husband or mistress, pull out hair, attack with a knife or anything like that. Hiring strangers to teach your husband a lesson is also illegal.
  2. Damage to property. Scratch a car, break a laptop, puncture tires, break a windshield, cut up expensive suits, write swear words on a car. You can’t - it’s illegal, the husband can go to the police.
  3. Set up children. Take them away, forbid them to see each other, tell terrible things about him and put him in a bad light. First of all, this will have a bad impact on the children themselves. And the husband can then regain custody with the help of the court. It's not your children's fault that your husband cheated on you.
  4. Kick out from the joint or his apartment. Change the locks, throw all the things out the window, leave the traitor on the street. But he has the same right to live in the apartment as you do. He can contact the police to return home. Even if you don't like it.
  5. Edit to answer. Don't stoop to his level. Later, you will be most disgusted by your action, because women perceive intimacy completely differently than men. But if you have a handsome man in mind, you can afford this little thing. Then you and your husband will be even and you will be able to save the family.

In addition, remember that it is the man who needs to take revenge. After all, he did not keep his promise to be faithful to you. A stranger doesn't owe you anything. Although sometimes emotions run high, and deceived wives punish their mistress.

Why men cheat

According to psychologists, there are many reasons for male infidelity.

  1. Boredom and lack of variety. Over the years, married life becomes a kind of routine, the woman is immersed in raising a child, the man earns money and solves everyday problems. Monotony and lack of interest in realizing new fantasies on the part of the wife often lead to the fact that the husband begins to look for thrills and unusual impressions in the arms of another, more interesting and relaxed woman.
  2. Changes in the spouse's appearance. After marriage, most women relax and stop strenuously taking care of themselves, as they did before the wedding. Household chores and the birth of a child also do not always have a favorable effect on the wife’s appearance. Therefore, if a young and beautiful young lady appears on the horizon for a man, he can get seriously carried away.
  3. Family problems. If in difficult times a husband, instead of words of support and care, constantly receives reprimands, reproaches, insults and humiliation, his mistress, on the contrary, can calm him down and support him.
  4. The desire to assert oneself. If a spouse earns less than his wife, he may be bothered by internal discomfort. When this fact is often pointed out by his spouse, other family members and friends, he will look for an opportunity to feel more confident, freer and calmer on the side.
  5. Education and influence of loved ones. If a man was raised in a family where fidelity was taken lightly, he himself may not consider physical intimacy as something personal and sublime.
  6. New love. If the family was created at an early age, then there is a high probability that the husband may stop loving his wife and fall in love with another. If a couple got married a week or a month after they met, focusing on the first romantic impulse and sympathy, feelings may fade in the future.
  7. Sexual dissatisfaction. It is not always possible for a woman to recognize in time that her husband is dissatisfied with the quality of sexual intercourse. Many spouses behave monotonously, shyly and awkwardly in bed. Therefore, the husband wants to realize his secret fantasies with the other.
  8. Fear of old age. After 40 years, men often experience a midlife crisis and are afraid of losing their popularity and attractiveness. They begin to assert themselves through meetings with young girls.
  9. Response to wife's betrayal. Betrayal by a wife hits a man’s pride; in retaliation, he may find himself a mistress.

Little domestic meanness

Sometimes you have to keep your family together because of children, financial dependency, or other reasons. But anger eats from the inside, so you want to take revenge on the cheater as he deserves. And at the same time not get caught cheating.

The above methods may affect your husband's work. Because of which he could be fired. Are you ready to lose your income for revenge?

Laxative

A very everyday way to punish a husband for cheating. Not serious, but still makes your soul a little lighter.

A safe portion of laxative is added to any dish or drink. Before work. And in the office, the unfaithful husband gets sick to his stomach, which his colleagues will undoubtedly notice.

The main thing is to get rid of all the medicine packages right away so that he doesn’t catch you. Then you can answer all his accusations with “probably his stomach was upset from a feeling of guilt.” He won't be able to prove anything.

The missing

Things get lost all the time, so if a few important items disappear at the worst possible moment, no one will be surprised. But how unpleasant it will be!


It's unpleasant to discover that something you need is missing.

What can suddenly evaporate?

  • Keys to the apartment when my husband is going somewhere.
  • Passport before travel.
  • Documents or flash drive with information.
  • The second sock from all pairs - let them go in different ones.
  • TV remote.
  • His glasses.

Be careful with work issues, since not everyone can teach her husband a lesson for cheating at the cost of her own financial well-being. Be sure to think about the consequences.

Unnoticeable damage to things

It is necessary to exchange his usual things for broken items or a smaller size. The second option is suitable for men who watch their weight.

  • Insert dead batteries into the remote control. And there shouldn’t be anyone working in the house.
  • Buy a belt like his, but a size or two smaller. So that he can't fasten it.
  • Have his favorite clothes sewn in the atelier.
  • Throw his glasses in the place where he likes to sit down in a big way. It will break itself.
  • Tweak something in his gamepad, keyboard, piano so that the device looks normal, but does not work.
  • Pour vinegar over his favorite plants.
  • Upload a virus to his laptop or computer. Pre-save information that is important to you (for example, photos from your vacation).

Little troubles like this will haunt him, and you will tease him, “It’s all karma, honey.”

Household items

Sometimes you can take revenge on the cheater as if in passing:

  • Spit in his tea or coffee.
  • Clean the toilet with a brush, rinse it, and put it back in place.
  • Sprinkle red pepper on his underpants, iron and shake off excess.
  • Replace sugar with salt and don't warn him.
  • “Forget” to buy important household items: toilet paper, his favorite coffee, shaving foam, etc.

He may not notice such trifles, only suspect something is wrong. But small troubles will cause irritation and nervousness to grow, so you will ruin his life a little.

Spend his stash

Maybe he was saving for a new car, a good fishing boat, or another expensive accessory for his hobby. You need this money more.

Buy something you've been dreaming about for a long time, but never got around to. Dresses, cosmetics, a cool camera, a trip to a resort alone, etc.

To any complaints, answer “I wanted to take my mind off your betrayal.” It is unlikely that he will find something to answer. After all, he feels guilty.

Items on sale

As you know, personal items are very dear to us: laptops, phones, clothes, and even more so what we collect. Collect all his favorite things, photograph each one individually and put it up for sale online. You must sell everything in a short time!

A laptop and phone of a good brand can be bought immediately if you set an inexpensive price (just remember to erase all data), and clothes can be taken to a consignment store if they are not bought online.

Some men like to collect knives - sell them all without a twinge of conscience. Why should you feel sorry for him if your loved one did not think about the pain he would cause you when he cheated?

Changes in behavior

Natural consequences are the best way to punish a man for cheating. At a minimum, they will not cause surprise or anger in a man. Because he himself understands why your behavior suddenly changed.

But you should not drag out such punishments too much, because the husband may get tired of this and leave the family. In the end, you will only make things worse for yourself.

Stop caring about him

In Russian families, 95% of household chores are performed by women, as a rule. Now it's time to make adjustments to your daily routine.

  1. Cook only for yourself and your children, preferably dishes that your husband doesn’t like. For example, if he cannot eat without meat, give preference to salads and cereals.
  2. Stop washing, ironing, and hemming his things. Let him do it himself or walk around unkempt.
  3. Respond to his complaints, dreams, stories about the past day with indifference.
  4. If you suddenly get sick, you don’t need to rush around with a traitor like a small child. Do only the essentials - bring food, water, pills. Only if he is unable to serve himself.

It will be unpleasant for him to feel such alienation, which will be a good lesson. Show him what he can lose if he cheats again.

Denial of intimacy

Few people are immediately ready for intimacy with a traitor, so your refusal will be absolutely normal in this situation.

Revenge can be used in different ways:

  • Completely refuse, arguing for his betrayal: “I can’t relax after what you did.”
  • Demand that he undergo all STD tests to ensure his health. Men in general don't really like going to the doctor, so this will already be an unpleasant experience. And such a trip will remind him what the consequences of betrayal can be.
  • Later, you can punish the traitor with a sharp refusal of intimacy. At first everything goes normally, but as soon as it starts, suddenly remember that situation and refuse. For example, “in what positions did you do this?”, then get up as if upset and go into another room.
  • Demand more affection, longer foreplay, lie down together, etc. It's time to instill new habits in your husband.

If you really have problems with your sex life after cheating, go to a family psychologist or sexologist. A husband and wife without intimacy are simply cohabitants.

Cold War

A man will be uncomfortable in the company of a wife who completely ignores him. This behavior hurts his pride, pride and selfishness.


90% of women take revenge for betrayal by coldness.

Practical tips for carrying out this revenge:

  • Answer in monosyllables: yes, no, clear, understandable, good. When asked or questioned about your behavior, shrug your shoulders with the meaning of “I can’t help you.”
  • Don't initiate conversations. If you need him to do something around the house (buy bread, take out the trash, pick up the child from kindergarten), write a note and leave it in a visible place. Or send SMS.
  • In your free time, go about your business as if it doesn’t exist. Turn on the music louder, watch your show on TV, go for a walk without asking his permission.
  • Go to bed in another room so that you don’t hug him out of habit out of sleep.

It is enough to stay in this mode for several days. Don't delay. When he reproaches himself, apologizes, begs to forgive him, encourage this with your behavior. Give him a smile, say “I’m glad you realized everything.”

There is no point in tormenting him for too long - he may lose the motivation to stay at home.

Cause jealousy

Women, as a rule, behave quite modestly in the presence of their husbands. Yes, and outside his gaze too: “a married woman should not flirt with others.” Now you have nothing to fear: all your advances were not even close to what your husband did.

Now, in the presence of your husband, do not be afraid to smile pleasantly at other men, flirtatiously shoot your eyes and give compliments.

You can even pretend to be happy in your personal life to offend your husband. Receive late calls (from an alarm clock), go to “talk” in another room, say “I can’t talk, I’ll call you back later.” Buy yourself flowers when you get home. Go on a sudden business trip, actually going on vacation.

Play with his nerves so that he goes crazy with jealousy and is in your place.

In fact, it can actually change. He has already denigrated the sanctity of your marriage, so there is nothing holding you back. If you are carried away by someone, you don’t need to restrain yourself - give in to the impulse. And no guilt.

Maybe over time you will agree on an open relationship, and betrayal will no longer cloud your thoughts.

Know your limits

Regardless of the methods used to punish a traitor, in any case moderation must be observed. Otherwise, you can play the avenger and get the wrong result.

First of all, when thinking about how to take revenge on a man for cheating, do not forget to think about something else. Think over your actions in advance so that they do not harm your common children and loved ones. If possible, try to protect them from conflict altogether.

How to take revenge on your husband for cheating: practical advice

You can come up with many ways and gracefully take revenge on your husband. On forums you can find dozens of pages where deceived women discuss various options and give each other practical advice. Among them there are absolutely crazy, illegal, funny, and absurd ones. But if you want, there are also some pretty good ones.

Hurt with words

You have lived together for many years, shared doubts and fears, so you know exactly all your husband’s weak points. Now it's time to hit them directly.

  • Make fun of his excess weight, hanging belly, shiny bald head, huge nose, short height, lack of muscles. Develop an inferiority complex by focusing on his external shortcomings.
  • Make fun of his weaknesses in bed: small penis, short duration, his laziness, “rate of fire” and so on.
  • Make a comment about his financial viability: “It seems like we have more money, is your mistress providing for you?”, “It would be better to spend this time on work, maybe I would achieve something in life.”
  • To say that you stopped loving him a long time ago and lived out of habit or out of pity, thank him for the impetus to action. And get divorced.
  • If your husband’s mistress is your friend, you can say that “so that’s who she was complaining about, that the new guy (insert any sore spot of her husband), she didn’t immediately guess.”

Make sure that the words cannot be translated to your address. They should ridicule him, present him in an unsightly manner, and cause self-doubt. And you stay on top.

Defame in the eyes of friends

People want to look better than they really are. Your husband is no exception. But you can reveal the whole truth to his loved ones.

If he pretended to be an exemplary family man and despises infidelity, you can play on this. Cry to everyone he knows about his betrayal, his affairs with his mistress, his deception and hypocrisy. Family people may turn away from him out of solidarity. Colleagues and boss will treat him worse - he cheated on his wife, maybe he will let him down at the company.

Make a recording of him slinging mud at his acquaintances and leak the information to them. Or forward the correspondence where he insulted your mutual friends. In both cases, the relationship will be ruined. He will be left completely alone, without support.

Phone calls

Give several advertisements with his number. The text should be very tempting: give away an expensive item for free, intimate services, a promising job, selling a good apartment cheaply, etc.


Soon he will hate his phone.

Now my husband’s phone will ring all day, which will simply drive him crazy. It is impossible to work in such a stop, and if the sound is turned off, you may miss an important call.

At the very least, you will get on his nerves.

Take revenge magically using a conspiracy

An offended woman is capable of much, especially if she feels her own helplessness. Then conspiracies, damage and black magic can come into play.

You can cast a spell on your husband, remove a love spell from your mistress, or, conversely, bewitch him to yourself. However, there are also more serious spells that can seriously ruin a husband’s life.

It is impossible to predict how serious the magical effect will be, what consequences will be in the future.

Over time, you will cool down, but the damage with the help of the conspiracy will already be done. It cannot be canceled. We'll have to live with it.

If you decide to take revenge on your husband for cheating and betrayal with magic, wait. Take a short break to let your emotions subside. Use other methods of revenge. If all else fails, turn to witches or look for suitable conspiracies.

Don't use serious magic - it's not worth it.

Stop caring

Surely you carry out all the household duties, because a woman is the keeper of comfort in the house. Stop doing all these things immediately, or do them half-heartedly. Serve burnt scrambled eggs for breakfast, iron your favorite shirts and trousers, and don’t put his clothes in the washing machine. Such little things will ruin your mood, especially if they are presented early in the morning. If the husband cannot stand it and reproaches him for negligence, calmly, slightly with mockery, casually throw out the following phrase: “Let your mistress serve you.”

How to take revenge on your ex-husband

If he is an ex, then revenge has already taken place - he has lost you. But if you still haven't quenched your pain, then you can ruin his life a little.

  • If a man likes to park incorrectly, take a photo of the car and send it to the traffic police.
  • If he does not pay taxes and hides some income, also report this to the relevant authorities.
  • Sprinkle a handful of seeds or bread crumbs on the roof of your car to encourage birds to scratch and dirty your car.
  • Send him stupid items to work by courier - huge women's panties, toys for adults, medicines for unsightly diseases. You can pay the courier so that he loudly reports what exactly has arrived at the addressee.
  • Call your work and ask them to tell your ex-husband that he must report to the drug dispensary every week and take tests, and that he must not disappear without warning. Or pretend to be his supervisor in Alcoholics Anonymous. The main thing is to act out the call as if you are simply concerned about his loss and cannot contact him directly.
  • You can take revenge on your ex-husband who lives with his mistress. Buy a lot of SIM cards and send a lot of SMS to his phone. Confessions of love, compliments to his manhood, proposals for new meetings, etc. Perhaps this will cause discord in the new couple - he has already cheated once, so the girl will take such messages very seriously.

The most important thing is not to use children for revenge. You cannot prohibit your ex from seeing them or participating in their lives. Don’t say unnecessary things about him - this will have a very bad effect on the children. Don't drag them into your quarrels.

Meeting the Enemy

Most likely, it will be difficult for you to remain calm when communicating with your loved one’s mistress, but the idea is worth it. By getting to know her, you will not only get revenge, but you will also get to know her and what he saw in her. Become a close friend for her - perhaps she is registered on social networks, write her the right message that she will not ignore. Through communication on the Internet, people are now getting closer together much better than in reality. And then you can meet in life.

When the time comes, mention that before her, your loved one had an unkempt and uninteresting mistress, and she is simply lovely! Let doubts settle in her, provoke a scandal in their couple. Come up with the names of his former lovers in advance.

How to take revenge beautifully

Instead of stooping to small dirty tricks, it is better to play big.

  1. Don't show your grief.
  2. Competently separate from your husband (see below).
  3. Become 100 times better than you were when you were married.
  4. Find a new man who is better than the previous one in everything.

This is the best revenge on your husband for cheating - he will greatly regret that he missed such a gorgeous woman. It will also be a blow to his pride that you were able to find a more successful, handsome and handsome man.


Your happiness is the best revenge.

This is not easy to do, but direct all the power of your anger towards achieving such a goal. Only this option will allow you to take revenge on your husband and at the same time be in an advantageous position.

Public view

This method is suitable if you are not going to continue the relationship with your loved one; he is unlikely to forgive this. You can contact one of the companies and order a large-format banner, which will subsequently be mounted on a large stand. From the employees you can order a poster with a photo of your loved one, as well as a description about him.

Let all his bad qualities be described in detail and people will know about it. Let the ad be located close to the cheater’s place of work, the banner will create a real sensation! And women will admire your revenge for betrayal.

Best punishment for cheating: divorce

This is not about a standard separation, when you take some of your things and children out of anger, and then move to live with your parents. What kind of punishment is this if a traitor can enjoy freedom?

No - act more prudently.

At first, do not give any sign that you are going to get a divorce. Otherwise, he will begin to prepare, withdraw finances, and transfer property. And you need to take him relaxed.

First of all, go to a lawyer and consult about your rights. Discuss with him the best way to rob your unfaithful husband completely. Or at least seriously ruin his financial situation after the divorce.

Start putting some money aside in your personal account.

File for divorce when he needs you most. For example, when problems arise in business, his best friend betrays him, or he develops health problems.

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

When the betrayal seems to be behind you, you will strike back. And this will make it even more painful.

Complete ignore

In order to use this method, you will need strong endurance and emotional stability. If you are naturally phlegmatic by nature, then there should be no problems. If you are choleric, you will have to do your best not to break down and not succumb to provocations. The latter will be enough, no doubt. Men, as a rule, react extremely painfully to their wife’s complete indifference towards them, but at first they will not show it. Therefore, be patient: the idea will definitely work with a bang, just not right away.

Alexander Anisimov, specialist instructor at the Orion psychological assistance center:

— Anger is a completely destructive emotion, which in its power overshadows all others. Therefore, consciously suppressing it can help you take control of any situation and develop a clear plan for further action. Of course, in practice, not every person manages to retain emotions within themselves. And it’s a pity, because you get a lot of dividends from this: there’s a pause for reflection, a deep analysis of the problem situation, and observation from the outside at the reactions of other participants in the conflict. But the most important thing, perhaps, is that you maintain your appearance and behave with dignity.

Psychologist's advice

When this mixture of negative emotions (anger, resentment, self-pity, etc.) is raging in you, it is advisable to go to a psychologist. He will help you intelligently sort all your thoughts into categories, and you will deal with them without revenge.

Just realize that this is not the case. Revenge will not make you feel any better, but instead of experiencing grief naturally, you seem to be frozen in it. Constantly plotting, thinking over plans for revenge, you feed your hatred again and again. But you need to get rid of it - these are negative emotions. They don't bring anything pleasant.

You need to learn a lesson from a bad situation. Calmly find out the reasons for the betrayal, what prompted him to change in you. And then develop, become better for your man. Either this one or the next one.

Without working on yourself, playing the offended girl, you only reinforce negative traits in yourself.

The advice is simple - either completely forgive your husband, or let him go and don’t suffer. Usually, after a month, if you don’t push yourself too hard, the woman will calmly reason and move away from the betrayal. He even thinks about saving his family and may regret hasty decisions.

So it’s better not to rush; you can do a lot of unnecessary things in a hot head, which you will regret.

Revenge with humor

This type of revenge will most likely be harmless and is unlikely to cause much harm to your loved one. However, if you want to laugh and not waste your energy on real revenge, then this method will suit you.

You can come up with anything: get a rat and name it after your lover, at every opportunity you will say something funny, and your friends will associate the rat with your lover. For example: “Gena is walking so poorly, he needs to change his food,” or “Gena, you’ve become so plump, your cage won’t be enough for you soon.”

Has your loved one dreamed of traveling to some country, but can’t do it? If you go there and then post photos on a social network, he will be very angry and jealous.

What not to do when planning to teach a traitor a lesson

The list of taboos includes:

  • cheating with your best friend;
  • expulsion from home;
  • ban on meeting with the child;
  • complaints to relatives and mutual friends about how bad he is.

It is undesirable to cheat with his friend, if only because you should be better than him. Let the husband have no reasons for hatred, but only endless regret that he lost such a woman. You especially shouldn't take revenge if... Believe me, he has many reasons for this. We talked about them in our other article, which will also help you find the right way out of the situation.

It is not necessary to kick him out of the house wearing only slippers. It is much more effective to calmly discuss the division of property with him and offer to give you half of the joint property.

It is impossible to prohibit seeing children. You can set a condition that your mistress should not be present during meetings. Children need communication with their father for normal development and to smooth out the psychological trauma that divorce can cause.

Complaining about what a “bad person” he is is appropriate in the company of close friends, but mutual friends and relatives should not know the details. Sympathetic views and many hours of discussion of this topic will not help to establish peace of mind and improve mood. In the eyes of others, it is much more pleasant to look like an independent, self-confident woman, and not a tearful victim.

Will it get easier?

Accomplished retribution will not improve the situation. Trying to hurt another person does not make people happier. There is, of course, a category of people who get pleasure from doing bad things to others, but even such people do not bring much happiness from the misfortunes of others.

A loud scandal and a showdown with your spouse’s passion can give you a feeling of relief for a short period of time. However, pretty soon the pain and resentment will visit with renewed vigor. In addition to the feeling of anger, the woman will have a feeling of guilt for the words spoken in a fit of emotion. It will only get worse.

Relief will come when the woman finds the strength to accept the current situation and decides whether she wants to continue living with her husband. If she realizes that she cannot forgive the cheater, she must file for divorce in order to give herself the opportunity to move on with her life and find new happiness.

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