Nowadays, more and more people are becoming disappointed in love, relationships, and even their partners themselves. Therefore, the question of how to stop falling in love with everyone becomes relevant. Our article is devoted to this topic. After reading it, you will find answers to your questions.
To avoid falling in love, you need to focus on something else, for example, on yourself. It is also worth making plans that will help you not lose your head from falling in love. There are many more ways. Now we will look at them. But first things first.
Goals
How to stop falling in love with girls? Just. You need to redirect your energy in a different direction. For example, get busy achieving your goals. If you want to succeed at work, then focus on your career. If you want to achieve something else, then focus on that. You can create a special vision board. Define your goals there, while removing everything related to love and relationships. Next, make a clear plan of your actions to achieve what you want. This way you can focus your attention on your goals.
Just remember that being too goal-oriented can harm your relationships with others. Therefore, do not forget about your loved ones and friends. Find at least a little time to communicate with them.
Advice from psychologists
When a person falls in love often and unrequitedly, recommendations from experts in the field of psychology will help. To get rid of toxic attachment, you need to:
- Love yourself as a person and regain self-respect.
- Engage in self-development.
- Change your look, go shopping or go on a trip. New impressions will supplant negative feelings about love.
- Improve existing family relationships, forget about stressful situations from the past.
- Analyze previous relationships, draw conclusions about your behavior and choice of partner.
- Evaluate your own love as objectively and realistically as possible. It is important to realize that this connection will not lead to happiness in the future.
If these tips do not help, you should seek qualified help. You need to try not to fall in love with anyone, at least for a short period of time, and switch to other aspects of life.
Falling in love is the first stage in the development of real feelings. But dwelling on it in some respects and moving on to others is a wrong, destructive strategy. If a person has a craving for frequent changes of partners, it can be corrected by increasing self-esteem and directing attention to other areas of life.
Fall in love with yourself
How to stop falling in love with men? Simple enough. You need to love yourself. Sometimes people jump into relationships quickly because they don't think they're attractive. If you pay enough attention to yourself, then everything in your life will change for the better. Remember every day that you are a good person and that you have many virtues. You can also pamper yourself by inviting you to a restaurant or to a movie theater. Always pamper yourself with compliments and gifts. Show everyone how much you love yourself. This is how others will treat you.
Where does falling in love come from?
Why do people fall in love? After all, this is completely irrational. You forget about everything in the world, you become stupid, you cannot concentrate on something useful and sometimes you begin to do things that would never even occur to a person in their right mind! Who needs such sudden madness? No one. If we could control our own emotions, we would allow ourselves to fall in love wisely and only with someone who fits all the parameters.
And everything would be decorous and noble, and any young lady would fall in love only of her own free will. But you can’t curb them, these wayward emotions! They will rush forward, biting the bit, go and deal with it. What to do if you understand perfectly well that you have fallen in love with a man who was not created for you? And in general, why did you choose him and not a more suitable guy?
It must be said that there is no clear and unambiguous answer to such a question. Expert scientists say that this happens due to an excess of a chemical in the body called phenylethylamine. They say that when there is a lot of it, we can fall in love with almost the first man we come across. Scientists, of course, know better. I just can’t believe that the feeling of falling in love is explained by banal chemical reactions. Still, the true reason for its occurrence lies somewhere in the depths of the subconscious.
It is like a bomb, the detonator of which goes off when we receive the corresponding sign. It could be a guy’s smile, his gestures, his voice, even the smell of cologne... The girl felt it, saw it, heard it and - trrrah! The bomb exploded, the dose of phenylethylamine released into the blood went off scale, and the young lady fell in love.
Then, when the brain comes to its senses after such a powerful explosion, she will be able to more or less soberly assess the situation. And realize how suitable the object of her love is for her. If it fits, no questions asked. You can give in to the feeling, and come what may. Well, when the young lady realized that she had managed to fall in love with a man who was not suitable for this, then she would have to think about why this happened and what to do now.
There is only one answer. It is necessary to extinguish the feelings that are just flaring up before it is too late. Otherwise it will be difficult to deal with them. Of course, managing emotions is not easy. But if you try hard...
How to stop falling in love
In general, a person falls in love with anyone when his psyche is ready for this. But she doesn’t care whether the object of her passion meets any specific requirements of the mind or not. The main thing is to grab onto something and start realizing your emotional potential. You can get hooked on an element of clothing, a mysterious phrase, attractive appearance, an interesting conversation, a non-trivial act... Yes, even a guy’s hairstyle! The psyche finds an anchor of this kind and begins to create an image around it. As a result, we begin to look at a sometimes ordinary man with completely different eyes, attributing to him non-existent virtues and embellishing existing ones.
What does this mean? This suggests that it is enough to eliminate the anchor, and the fog of love will gradually begin to subside. Where to begin such liquidation?
- We need to decide that we really don’t need this person. To do this, without emotions, calmly and reasonably, we explain to ourselves what exactly it is that doesn’t suit us. It would be a good idea to write everything down on a piece of paper. But not with general phrases like “we are completely different” or “nothing will work out for us.” The essence of the problem must be recorded. For example, write that the guy has a difficult character, that he cannot be faithful, that he is already taken, and so on. When compiling a list, we try to find the most serious reason for the inappropriateness of feelings for a man. As soon as we find it, we make a point, hang the piece of paper on the wall in front of us and re-read it as often as possible.
- You need to stop yourself from loving this person. How? We put him on a par with some relative - father, brother, uncle. It doesn't occur to us to fall in love with them, does it? No, because this is a taboo that has been ingrained in the subconscious since early childhood. So we are trying to fit into its framework someone who seemed too attractive to us. We tell ourselves that a close relationship with a man is impossible, and we drive away all thoughts about the likelihood of an affair. In a word, we associate the guy with our relatives in order to turn on the mechanism within ourselves for perceiving him as a brother.
- It is advisable to try with all your might to raise your self-esteem as much as possible and look down on the man. At the same time, we remember to have a sense of proportion, otherwise you might imagine yourself to be a queen, of whom no one deserves at all. It’s enough that we regularly praise ourselves and our actions, not forgetting to repeat that we deserve a better man. If you direct your thoughts in this direction for several days, very soon the intensity of the feeling will dull, and the object of your crush will begin to seem not so stunning at all.
- We must make every effort to distract ourselves. We throw ourselves into work, have fun with friends, and devote a lot of time to hobbies or sports. In a word, we do everything to think as little as possible about our feelings. We load ourselves with anything so as not to leave a window in our head for hard thinking about the situation. Of course, you won’t be able to get the young man out of your head right away. But you can organize a stream of thoughts related to it if you set aside a certain time for them - an hour in the morning, an hour at lunch, an hour before bed. It must be said that such memories will inevitably give rise to dreams. We do not allow them to spread their wings, deliberately driving them into a dead end.
- It is necessary to get rid of the desire to idealize the image of a guy. In general, the idealization of the male image is the most pressing women's problem. Let’s mentally draw a portrait of our chosen one, and then immediately fall in love with someone in whom we see at least some resemblance to this portrait. Moreover, completely not perceiving the obvious differences and not heeding the arguments of reason. This, they say, is my destiny, period. Neither reason nor friends and relatives who are trying to reason with a lady who has gone crazy with feelings can cope with such a position. Emotions completely deprive her of the opportunity to soberly assess what is happening and perfectly disguise the negative traits of her lover.
However, this is not our case. We understand perfectly well that we fell in love unsuccessfully and that we should get rid of the feeling. This means that you need to destroy the fictitious image and try to look at the young man differently. That is, from the point of view of his unattractiveness. I must say that this is not so simple - an emotional outburst creates a wall through which unsightly actions and traits are not visible. But we want to get rid of falling in love! This means we open our eyes wider, turn on our brains and debunk the man using practice-tested techniques.
Habits in relationships. Maybe we should change them?
Think about it: perhaps in a relationship you give a lot, but receive nothing in return. Maybe this is the reason that you don’t want to fall in love or build a relationship. Reflect on past experiences and draw conclusions. Develop habits that will improve your relationships in the future. It is possible that you need to meet people for a relationship not in a bar or nightlife, but in a park or a club of similar interests.
Concept of falling in love
Scientists have long established the chemical nature of love and its biological significance. This is nothing more than a procreation program. It takes time to grow into true conscious love. If you constantly jump from one relationship to another, you will not be able to achieve this high feeling.
You will have to be content with falling in love, which is accompanied by the release of various hormones into the blood. This can cause addiction akin to a drug. A person susceptible to this condition will not be able to build stable relationships and will completely lose himself as a person.
Different type of people
We've already figured out how to stop falling in love with guys. Now let's try to find ways to solve the problem. For example, you fell in love with the same type of people. It is possible that they are the ones who cannot be in relationships, are not able to build them. It is worth giving preference to another type. What if you then manage to build a relationship that will bring you mostly positive emotions.
It may be that previously, for example, you fell in love with such a “bad guy”, now give preference to a more romantic and conservative person. Individuals who waste their power will not be able to build meaningful relationships.
What does an amorous girl mean?
Psychologists are of the opinion that falling in love is a normal phenomenon, it is a specific way of thinking, it is a lifestyle. Receiving positive emotions by constantly falling in love is not a negative process. But you should be on guard all the time so as not to get into trouble. In addition, such a game of love can become boring over time, and the risk of falling into a depressive state is very high. A woman will not know how to build a serious relationship, since she knows how to flirt and make advances. Her experience begins and ends with the bouquet and candy period. An amorous girl is afraid to be alone; she is in an eternal search for the ideal partner.
Do not hurry!
If you are one of those people who can fall in love within a week, then it is possible that this habit is affecting the relationship. Try to take things slower, give each other more time to understand whether you are even compatible with your intended partner. You don’t need to see each other every day right away; a couple of meetings a week will be enough. You shouldn't think about sex on the first date either. Give yourself time to get closer to your partner, and only then enter into an intimate relationship with him.
Internal manifestations of feeling
You can repeat to yourself “I don’t want to fall in love!” as much as you like, but this will not eradicate the tendency to inconstancy in love. This behavior is observed in people of different genders and ages. During adolescence, romantic feelings are usually non-reciprocal, which causes a constant change of objects of sympathy. But for adults building real relationships, such a habit can result in a number of problems.
It’s worth thinking about what leads to this situation and finding out the reasons. This may be the perception of the parental marriage, latently expressed in the constant change of partners and the search for love. There are other internal and external reasons for such behavior.
Lessons from the past
Learn from your own mistakes. Remember how you suffered because of your feelings that were not shared by your chosen one, how bad and sad you were because of unrequited love, how you could not concentrate on work, study, sports or hobbies.
Make a choice: are you ready to continue to suffer because of your falling in love or will you fight with yourself, try to be more careful so as not to get burned again. The right attitude and strong determination to change your life will help you overcome this problem. Keep your heart free until you realize that you have met exactly the girl who is worthy of your experiences.
