It is customary to look at problems with character as a purely external defect, because from the outside it seems that only the person’s surroundings suffer from it. The bearer of the defect, according to popular opinion, is satisfied with everything, otherwise he would have taken action long ago or, at least, a decision to strengthen his character. To understand whether this is so in reality, let's draw a parallel with a physical deficiency, for example, with stoop. A slouched person is unpleasant to look at - this is all he can do to complicate the life of those around him. The person himself suffers from:
- Hostile glances.
- Regular back pain.
The first affects self-esteem, makes a person suspicious, creates permanent stress, which cannot but affect mental health. The second needs no comment.
Many readers will argue that a physical defect is more difficult to correct than a personal one. This is a myth, and it is not spread by the smartest people who do not recognize any efforts other than mechanical ones. Like, it’s hard to carry sacks of potatoes, but internal work cannot be hard by definition. How can it be, only because there are no instructions for its implementation, no guarantees of success, no unambiguous guidelines.
The path of personality transformation is a path of endless making and correcting mistakes. That’s why deciding on it is more difficult than coming up with an excuse for all your shortcomings.
And yet, the issue has been studied for a long time; there has always been a demand for services in the field of improving personal qualities, so modern psychologists and psychotherapists are able to help a person change himself. They act as a kind of guides, helping to avoid some mistakes and not lose support at the first difficulties. However, a person always does the main work himself.
If we talk specifically about developing a strong character, then this is one of the most understandable areas of development, since hardness is always a response to stress. If the stress is physical, the muscles harden; if the stress is moral, the will becomes stronger and the character is strengthened. The only way to develop strength of character is to constantly test it for strength, but do it wisely, without going to extremes, without trying to carry more than you can lift.
Self confidence
A psychologically strong person knows that his beliefs greatly influence whether he achieves success. This is not just a matter of motivation, it is a real fact. Researchers have found that more confident people earn more and move up the career ladder faster. True confidence is always visible and cannot be confused with the false confidence that people use to hide their fears. Psychologically strong people know how to inspire others with their confidence, so everything works out better in their lives.
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Think less
The first stopping factor is fear, which can be obvious or hidden. Obvious fear is felt in moments of direct danger, it is easy to detect, it is understandable, because it is in the area of consciousness. Hidden fear is a reaction to a perceived danger, lives in the subconscious and is difficult to detect. Symptoms of such fear are doubts and “excuses.” There are statistics showing that the most successful businessmen are poor planners but men of action. Such a person will smash his head against the wall 30 times, but on the 31st he will find a weakness in the wall. And those who like to tinker with plans for a long time too often do not come to action, because there are reasons to change their minds.
Essay on the topic Strength of Character
Strength of character is the courage that everyone wants to have. It is the ability to confront fear, despite the fact that obstacles may lie in one's path. For centuries, our culture has been filled with stories about the strength of character that helps us be courageous. One of the best examples is the story of David and Goliath, where a man defeats a giant that no one dares approach. Courage can be physical and moral. If physical strength can be acquired by engaging in strength sports, then moral strength should be cultivated in oneself from youth. After all, it is in youth that a person most often encounters failures. Strength of character helps to pass all the tests and maintain a spirit of optimism. After all, having this power, a person believes in himself, and accordingly, in his abilities.
Character strengths are the positive aspects of your personality that influence the way you think, feel, and behave, and are key to becoming a better person. When used effectively, strength of character is beneficial both to oneself and to society as a whole. They are different from your other strengths, such as your unique skills, talents, interests, and resources.
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Strength is defined as “the quality or state of physical strength” and “the quality that enables a person to solve problems decisively and effectively.” In my opinion, this definition sufficiently covers the meaning of force. However, I would also include in this definition that strength is a characteristic that distinguishes people from each other. A person's strengths make him unique and valuable.
Analytical strength can also be considered strength of character. This is the ability to break down and analyze a situation. The analyst finds answers in deep contemplation and study
A thoughtful person is unlikely to take a risk unless all negative and positive consequences are taken into account. People's ability to analyze, study, find answers will be useful for their careers and may even lead to great success
Another component of character strength is perseverance. Persistence and hard work always go hand in hand. People with such qualities truly have strength of character, because in order to achieve even small goals, you definitely need to show perseverance. However, it should not be confused with stubbornness, which is not a very useful quality for a person.
Create the desired image for yourself and work on its implementation
Just don’t focus on creating an image; it’s enough to just understand what you’re doing. In fact, your task is to become who you want to become, now. That is, if you dream of becoming a self-confident person, strong, with a decisive and tough character, there is no point in waiting until you turn into him through some evolutionary path. It’s best to write down the key qualities of your new “me” on paper and immediately start developing them. For example, sign up for a gym or boxing class to improve your appearance, learn to fight back and reinforce your decisiveness with the weight of your fist in case of emergency.
How to become a stronger woman in spirit and character
Girls are more fragile creatures than men. Of course, there are exceptions when the “woman” is not afraid to get into a fight and pulls the “TV” guy and a bunch of children. But every exception was preceded by its own sad story, when there was no one who would stand like a mountain in front of her and look into the eyes of all her difficulties. It's not about that kind of “power”. Now society places high demands on women.
Many people respect strong-willed women who will not give up in any difficulty and will not give up in problems. Who will support their man and show a radiant face and kindness, and their best friend will be a pillow (that’s what our grandmothers used to say - that’s where strong women were!). How to strengthen the spirit of gentle female personalities when there are so many demands placed on them from the outside:
- We don't expect much from others. Women are susceptible to beautiful words, they are gullible, and they sometimes take advantage of this. Therefore, you need to free yourself from illusions about other people. We tend to expect from others what we would do ourselves, but no! Don’t expect the same reaction as you, the same spiritual closeness that you experience, the same return. If you are disappointed, then this is not the person for you.
- Use your femininity correctly. Don’t take everything upon yourself, but don’t sit on someone’s neck with your legs dangling either. A strong-willed woman knows when to “turn on” a weak woman and when to show her back.
- Free yourself from psychological trauma. Many women had to experience moral or other pressure. Some endured and “moved on,” while others broke. To develop fortitude, you need to free yourself from past baggage. And if you need specialist help, don’t delay. You know, it’s better to sit at an appointment with a psychologist than to lie comfortably in a psychiatry.
- Take care of yourself. Any woman dreams of looking better, looking younger, this inspires her, energizes her and gives her confidence. To develop moral strength, tidy up your face, figure, and apartment. Cleaning, you know, also has psychotherapeutic value!
- Say no to procrastination. This is a habit of postponing everything until later. It takes a lot of energy, time and effort. Learn to finish what you start. It will be difficult at first, but then you will say “thank you” to yourself or me after reading this article!
- Set personal boundaries. Don't allow anyone to treat you with disrespect. Be it parents, husband, children, etc. If you decide to inflict offense in response, I do not advise it. This will also destroy you as a person. Just learn to say “no”, leave on time, burn bridges when it comes to health and life.
- Well, develop yourself. Many strong women are characterized by a constant craving for new things: new knowledge, new skills, new income!
Strong-willed woman
Overcome difficulties
The best way to build character is through difficulties, users of The Question project are sure. “At a minimum, the most obligatory condition is to get out of your comfort zone,” says Dmitry Richter. “As a rule, strong people overcame such barriers and experienced such events that we never even dreamed of.”
“You can never truly taste success if it comes too easily,” confirms Elizabeth Lutes. Also, you should not blame others for your failures and failures, but accept them with your head held high.
What qualities are inherent in people with a strong-willed character?
Positive traits are common to all people. It cannot be said that a person possessing these qualities automatically becomes the owner of a strong-willed character. However, these qualities contribute to the development of a strong character and their absence should be compensated for.
So, people with a strong character have:
- discipline and responsibility;
- honesty;
- courage, determination and boldness;
- self-confidence and leadership;
- respect;
- compassion;
- loyalty and reliability;
- patience and attention;
- ambition and motivation;
- determination;
- justice.
The set of qualities of a woman with a strong character differs from that of a man. For representatives of the stronger sex, the following signs of strong-willed character are added to the above:
- respect in society;
- success in the chosen type of activity;
- loyalty to family and ideal;
- following your purpose.
A woman with a strong-willed character also has the following traits:
- independence;
- ability to collaborate with other people;
- taking care of yourself and loved ones;
- accepting others as they are;
- trusting your intuition.
A child can also have the makings of a strong character. These include the following qualities:
- anger and stubbornness (not to be confused with aggression and capriciousness);
- desire for independent decision making;
- it is difficult to force a child to do something without his consent;
- emotional response to failures, the desire to deal with it and complete the work started.
Of course, we are not talking about small children whose character is just beginning to form. And their protests and stubbornness may be the product of another age crisis.
Track your achievements
Toughness of character does not come out of thin air; it is a consequence of self-confidence, which is supported by opportunities. Mostly people who don’t believe in themselves complain about a lack of toughness. A person’s self-esteem is structured in such a way that it can only be regulated with the help of facts. We won, achieved, achieved - self-esteem is in the plus; we lost, lost, gave up - self-esteem is in the minus. It is noteworthy that all victories and achievements can count as positives; it is important to start giving them importance. To do this, keep a diary or journal, write down every small victory in it and strive to ensure that there are more entries.
Ways to become a strong-willed man
Let's look at the top 8 ways to become a strong-willed man, based on the image and expectations put forward by society.
In the minds of most people, a strong man is one who is developed and healthy physically and intellectually, has an entrepreneurial spirit and is able to provide for himself and his family. He is also someone who maintains composure in all situations.
Personally, I am against such stereotypes, but the reality is this: men are expected to be successful in everything, and society is prohibited from expressing their feelings.
What then should you do to become strong in spirit?
Release your emotions
Since we're talking about stereotypes, I'll start with this. Psychology, no matter who you are - a man or a woman - the mental endurance of any person has a limit.
Emotions and feelings do not depend on gender. You cannot blame or scold yourself for something or block some feelings just because society supposedly expects this. It is important to accept and work through any of your conditions.
Yes, you don’t have to show it to other people if you really want to live up to stereotypes, but when you’re alone with yourself, you need to be yourself. This is the only way to achieve self-acceptance and maintain mental health. Anyone who suppresses or denies something in themselves cannot, a priori, be a strong person.
Play sports
The best way, acting on several fronts: improving health and improving appearance, releasing negative emotions, preventing burnout and combating other undesirable conditions (sport reduces the level of the stress hormone - cortisol and increases the production of serotonin - the hormone of joy).
If you don’t have time or other resources for the gym yet, then start with a small daily morning workout:
Ask for help
Be honest with yourself and others. Don’t be afraid to have a heart-to-heart talk with a friend, or tell your wife about something personal, ask a colleague for help, or talk to a psychologist. You're not trying to cure your own tooth, are you?
Although there are men who always play heroes in everything, for example, they endure toothache. True, this only makes things worse - then they still end up in the doctor’s office, but for extraction, and not for treatment of the tooth. The same applies to any other problems.
It's okay to ask for help. This is the skill of a strong personality.
Don't feel sorry for yourself, but don't be a hero either
Sitting on the neck of your mother or wife, drinking beer on the sofa, and working four jobs without sleep or rest in order to provide for yourself and a horde of people are two extremes of the same essence. A healthy balance is important in everything.
Wife and child are on maternity leave
? Yes, you need to provide for yourself and your family. There are no children, your wife doesn’t work and doesn’t do anything around the house (she lives by the principle “My husband works, but I’m beautiful”), but this model of relationship doesn’t suit you?
We need to say this directly
. If a woman works and adheres to the principle “My money is my money, and yours is ours,” and you are not satisfied with this, then this also needs to be said, etc.
Take a break
Before you start working on yourself, you need to take a break. It is necessary to take time for introspection and think about what you want to change in life and yourself, what to give up, and what to leave. First, think about what you would like to do under any circumstances, and what you absolutely do not want to do. Then decide on your life values and principles. Make a list of rules for your life.
Don't expect instant success and don't create an idol for yourself
Remember that each person has their own pace of development. And also, from birth, each person is given a different base for starting in life. There is no need to be upset if at the age of 30 you still do not have your own apartment or have not built a family or achieved something else that is of value to you (or to another person - the one with whom you compare yourself). Compare yourself only to yourself.
Take a week-long intensive course from E.B. Larssen
In the book “At the Limit” (see in the Litres library), the coach talks about how to change yourself in seven days, and what you need to do to become stronger in spirit.
The book describes the general rules of Hell Week and breaks down the transformation plan day by day. With its help, you will learn to fight laziness and fears, overcome difficulties, and get rid of shortcomings.
Don't boast about your strength
Some men try on an exaggerated image of a physically and psychologically strong person. They suppress others with their power and force others to obey them.
In fact, this is the behavior of a weak person.
Do not focus on your power and do not sort things out in a fight - “beat” with words. But at the same time, be prepared to give physical resistance, to protect yourself and those around you.
What kind of person can be called tough?
First of all, it is worth understanding who can be considered tough, because often the word “tough” is used to describe a rude and ruthless person who is capable of doing anything to achieve his goals. Naturally, a tough person can be just like that, but this is not at all necessary.
If you want to become tougher, you shouldn't go overboard and bury all your basic ideas about good and evil. Toughness can be manifested in the ability to firmly follow through, make important decisions, maintain composure in stressful situations, and take responsibility.
A tough person does not have to walk around gloomy with a stone face, looking at everyone from under his brows. He can be a cheerful and sincere person, but at the right moments he can show firmness and uncompromisingness.
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Typically, tough people are tempered by difficult life situations and working to overcome them. Over time, they develop a kind of immunity and psychological resistance to such circumstances, along with other useful qualities.
Thus, being tough can be useful in the following cases:
- conflict situations at work, accompanied by increased stress;
- unforeseen circumstances requiring a quick response;
- disputes in which you need to defend your point of view.
It is worth noting that toughness directly depends on willpower, which can be trained daily in different ways. Moreover, like all great things, this path begins with the simplest things.
Methods to become stronger in spirit
Do you want to become a strong personality? The strong in spirit do not have unnecessary suffering, dramatic attachments to the past, hesitation and affairs abandoned halfway. A strong person realizes what he wants and strives for it. He does not look for excuses or excuses, but brings what he starts to the desired result.
If you do not have these characteristics, strengthen your fortitude.
Why is it important:
- a strong person is attractive, he is respected, his opinion is taken into account;
- he controls his life, overcomes obstacles, does not bend to circumstances;
- copes with adverse conditions without stooping to questionable or dishonest actions;
- achieves success, does not waste time on nonsense, does not pay attention to trifles.
There are many other reasons that make you want to become mentally strong. Have you decided to strengthen your inner core? What has been done for this?
How to gain mental strength
Some people gain inner strength from birth, while others have to develop it.
Psychologists recommend following simple recommendations for those who are thinking about how to become a strong personality:
- Don't be afraid in advance
. Fear hinders development and ruins many endeavors in the bud. Are you haunted by negative, depressing thoughts? Get rid of them, don't be influenced by them. Fight your fears - distinguish reasonable worries from empty ones. - Don't feel sorry for yourself
. You need to love yourself, but there is destructive pity. Make responsible decisions, do not vainly blame others. Only you are responsible for what happens in your life. - Live in the present, minimize thinking about the past
. Focus on the current state, realize your current situation, feel it. Live today - neither in the past nor in the future. - Don't ignore your inner desires
. Do as you see fit, as long as it does not fundamentally conflict with ethics and the criminal code. - You cannot become a strong person if you do not appreciate all the good things that happen in life
. Appreciate the actions done for you, the support, the pleasant moments. - Don't worry about what is beyond your control
. If you cannot change the situation, do not worsen your situation by wasting energy. Let go of events, do what is under your control. - Accept failures with grace
. Look at missteps and unfulfilled hopes from a different perspective: it's a chance to try again and a lesson that gives you experience and extra strength.
Surround yourself with examples
The saying “Whoever you mess with, you’ll get rich from” works. A person learns fastest when he repeats after another person, even if he does not realize it. The more people with a tough character in your environment, the more features of their behavior will be passed on to you in the course of communication and joint activities. You don’t even have to consciously do anything; changing your character to a tougher one will happen by itself, the main thing is to find a suitable environment.
Read books
Users recommend reading books of completely different genres. Autobiographies - to glean the experience of great people, strong in spirit. Fiction - to develop imagination and play out difficult situations that may ever happen to you. And books on self-development - to get motivation and learn useful psychological techniques.
Dmitry Sergeev proposed a list of three main works, in his opinion: Robin Sharma “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari”, Dale Carnegie “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” and Stephen Covey “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”.
