How should a woman behave if her husband cheats on her, but does not leave the family?

At the beginning of every relationship, a couple expects a stable and trusting relationship. But life is too complicated, and often makes adjustments to ideal plans. A girl learns about her lover’s betrayal and doesn’t know what to do if the guy cheated, but she begs for forgiveness and swears her love. They don’t teach this in school, so you’ll have to figure out the situation yourself. And we will help with this.

How to stop your spouse from cheating

You shouldn’t think that only someone else’s husband is capable of cheating and lying, this can happen to anyone. But if you try to do something, then the chances of not being deceived increase significantly.

10 best tips for women:

• Take care of your appearance, be feminine;
• Be a good housewife, maintain cleanliness and comfort;
• From time to time give the opportunity to conquer yourself;
• Strive for development, read, attend cultural events. It may seem that this fact has nothing to do with the desire for infidelity, however, it affects a woman’s self-esteem and the attitude of others;
• Find common interests and always be a friend you can trust;
• Determine your spouse’s love language (under what circumstances does he understand that he is loved) and make him feel loved, and therefore happy;
• Be yourself with your loved one and accept him as he is. If you start pretending, you will have to wear this mask all the time, and the falseness is felt on a subconscious level;
• Give him the opportunity to feel like a man. Don't try to be strong and omnipotent;
• The stronger the control, the more you want to get rid of it or break the rules;
• Temporary deprivation of what you want entails a strong desire to achieve.

Try to save the family before you start identifying his sins. You still married this person for something. Meet him from work in beautiful lingerie.

Let it not be very frank if over the years of marriage you have managed to gain a few extra pounds. Prepare a delicious dinner. Let your husband take a relaxing bath. Or give him a massage. Let this be a memorable night for him.

But, if the hour of betrayal has already struck, and you don’t know what to do with yourself, do something else: children, work, your hobby. If your husband did this, he does not deserve your audience.

And remember the Japanese wisdom that the best solutions to problems come immediately. If the problem has not been solved in seven breaths, it should be postponed until better times.

Cheating on a spouse is a difficult test for every woman

But it is important to remember that if you despair, without taking any action, without developing a strategy for your future life, you will never be able to restore your psychological state, live and feel the way you used to.

Should we forgive betrayal: advice from psychologists

The most common reason why girls turn to psychologists is the desire to figure out what to do after the betrayal of their beloved guy. A popular question asked by offended young women goes something like this: “My boyfriend cheated on me, should I forgive him or is it better to end the relationship?”

It is impossible to answer unequivocally, because each union is unique, situations are individual, and circumstances sometimes develop in such a way that it is very difficult to advise an outsider. But before you make a decision, you need to try to answer the following questions:

• Is this the first time a guy has been caught cheating or not?
• What preceded his betrayal?
• The young man tried to hide his betrayal, did you catch him red-handed or did he cheat on you and immediately confessed everything?
• Was his relationship long lasting or was his relationship with another girl fleeting?

Breaking off a relationship without getting an explanation from the guy is stupid and improvident. No matter what feelings you have for the traitor, and even if you think that you no longer love him, the conversation must take place between you one way or another. And only after this should you make a decision - to break up or try to piece together the broken union.

Listen to his point of view so as not to be tormented by guesswork.

Even if a young man says that you yourself are to blame for his adventures to the left, you should not take this as a direct accusation and take it too seriously. Listen to the accusations with an open mind, maybe there really were problems in your relationship that you turned a blind eye to. Even if you don't end up together, you can change your behavior with the next man.

It is human nature to look for those to blame for our mistakes; this is a banal defensive reaction. Although deep down the guy feels that he himself stumbled and did something wrong.

But if a guy cheats for a long time, forgives forgiveness, and then returns to his old ways, then it’s unlikely that anything can rehabilitate him. Cheating, as they say, is already in his blood; it is impossible to build a reliable family with such a person.

How to behave: forgive or break up

So, you know that there was definitely betrayal. Usually, after something like this, it is difficult for a woman to recover for some time; she wants to scream and climb the wall, calling her betraying spouse the last words, but this is not worth doing. The main thing to remember is that this terrible pain piercing the heart will definitely pass. Sooner or later it will calm down, settle down, become almost unnoticeable, and then disappear completely. And although it is not yet clear how to survive your husband’s betrayal, you need to constantly repeat this to yourself. All will pass.

After an internal struggle, if she managed to maintain composure, the woman must figure out why the betrayal occurred. A cool awareness of the reason will help you understand how to behave: there is no need to rush at a man with accusations. The husband knows what he did was terrible. The time has come to discuss future relationships, because you will no longer be able to live as before. It is necessary to determine what to do: forgive or leave? Save the marriage or give up everything?

If you have firmly decided that you can no longer live with the man who cheated on you, you should finally break off the relationship. This will allow you to start a new life: it will ache in your heart for a long time, but soon you will notice that every day waking up alone is getting easier and easier, and you miss old evenings less and less. You will have to bear responsibility for this act - you must allow yourself and the man to live on without regard to the past together.

But what to do if your husband cheated, but you don’t want to leave? Many women are afraid to be left alone, and if the spouses have a child, it is even more difficult to destroy the family. Separately, it is worth saying that for the sake of a child, you should not live with a person who is no longer dear to you. Children feel everything perfectly, so your child will probably notice the tension that appears. Parental quarrels will interfere with adequate child development, so you should only stay together when you are ready to continue the relationship and forgive.

If the stage of lies and omissions between you has passed, and your mistress is a fleeting passion, discuss options with your husband. Under no circumstances should you give a lying man any reason to think that his betrayal will be forgiven in the future. As they say, what you do once can be your last, but what happens twice should be expected next time. A few rules that will help you answer the question: how to cope with a man’s betrayal?

• Avoid comparing yourself to a man's hobby. This will hurt, but will not give a real assessment of your appearance, character, etc.
• Don't make excuses for a man. Yes, you also took part in the fact that the betrayal occurred, but this step is a conscious choice of the man. After all, you didn’t cheat on your husband because he doesn’t give you gifts?
• Be decisive. Let the man know that this is unacceptable. Continue relationships only if they are truly valuable.
• Don't take revenge. Some women prefer to numb the pain by deciding to do the same thing - betrayal. This terrible scenario will only bring additional pain and disappointment, and psychologically make it even worse. In addition, another person will suffer, who is completely innocent of betraying your man.
• Refuse to solve the problem with alcohol, excessive work, and entertainment. Yes, a bottle will help you forget for a while, work will plunge you headlong into a world of timelessness, and constant entertainment will distract you, but this will not help you survive the betrayal, but will only further deprive you of your strength.

The main thing is to remember: when you forgive, forgive. If you stayed together, forgive sincerely, with all your heart, otherwise you will turn life into hell, where every mistake a man makes will resurrect pictures of what is happening now.

Watch an interesting video where a psychologist gives women advice on how to survive the betrayal of a beloved man:

Is the relationship over?

The answer to this question depends only on whether you yourself want to continue the relationship, whether you are able to forgive your loved one’s mistake.

1. For one couple, cheating will be a reason to break off the relationship forever and go in different directions.
2. For another couple, it will be an opportunity to reconsider your behavior, think about what you did wrong in the past.

Betrayal can serve as a kind of “bell” alarmingly informing about unhealthy moments in the union of two people.

If the presence of betrayal is a decisive factor for you to end the relationship forever, this is your choice, to which you have every right. No one can force you to endure deception and stay with a person who trampled on your feelings.

Don't make decisions based on emotions - let off some steam first.

But if you decide to stay and try to keep your love alive, your couple will have a second chance. In this case, you must prepare for a lot of work on yourself, which can last for many months. To do this, listen to the advice given below. They will guide you in the right direction and help you avoid getting depressed.

Women need to remember

They say a man is the head, and a woman is the neck, but you have to move your neck skillfully. When getting married, women need to remember that ringing the man you love does not mean that you can turn into a whore. Try to be different, surprise him and let him be afraid of losing you. Look after yourself, develop, be self-sufficient. Interesting, well-groomed, smart, thrifty, sexy, a wonderful wife and an excellent mother - these titles should be combined in you. Difficult? But for a happy family life, you need to learn this. A man who is happy in marriage will rarely commit adultery, much less divorce. Passing hobbies don't count. Nobody forbids you to have small affairs either, but nothing more. Just keep your man in good shape - let him remember that there are more than enough people who want to get you, but you love only him and are faithful to him. Love, compliments, affection - men need this no less than women. Let him feel and realize that only you can love and care like that. Help him be a real man next to you, praise him and admire him. Be passionate, constant, but unpredictable. Men love it.

Terms and concepts

For every girl, infidelity has a personal connotation; sometimes the question of forgiveness is not at all appropriate. For example, when lightly flirting with a casual acquaintance, which is perceived incorrectly. Psychologists consider flirting to be a necessary component of relationships, because it is human nature to look at the opposite sex. Watch yourself. Surely, when you see a charismatic person in the crowd, hold your gaze on her. Therefore, first, let's understand the concepts.

From a psychological point of view, betrayal and treason are two different things. True, the differences are more theoretical; in reality, the pain is felt the same. So, betrayal is an intimate, carnal relationship, without a spiritual component. Betrayal is considered not only contact between bodies, but also between souls. When that invisible component of a couple is interrupted, the existing trust is destroyed, and they give themselves completely to the other.

I found out that my husband has been unfaithful all my life - what should I do?

The horror is that it seems like your whole life has been a game. Like in the film “The Truman Show” - the whole world is a fake, people are actors. Everyone knows how things really are, but you are the only one who had no idea about anything. It's terribly offensive and embarrassing. I'm ashamed of myself. That she allowed herself to be fooled like that, she was so naive! I allowed myself to wear these “rose-colored glasses.” Why did you believe that, why? Why shouldn't I have believed it?

Why did she have to become paranoid? Check the phone, conduct interrogations. For what? To make a concentration camp out of family life? If the husband decided to cheat, he would still cheat. The problem is not that you didn't look after your husband well. I apologize for the tautology, but the problem is that the husband does not see any particular problem in cheating. For him this is not a tragedy.

Surely every woman has been at least once in a situation where her husband wants intimacy. But you, wife, don’t want to, you’re not ready, you can’t. I have to refuse. That happens. The wife does not see this as a particular tragedy. If it didn’t work out today, it will work out tomorrow. It's a shame, a shame... oh well! Some men approach the topic of betrayal in a similar way. “It’s a shame, a shame... but this means to my wife that I want to leave the family and ruin our life. It just happened that way. Yes, several times."

But for the wife it’s just hell! Not only do you have to get over the fact of betrayal that has already happened. We need to find some kind of support in the future. Somehow start to believe your husband who says that “everything will be fine.” Maybe he will. But how do you know that his “good” coincides with her “good”? It happens that the husband cheated, realized his guilt, realized how much pain he caused his wife, and forever swore off looking at other women as an object of desire. Yes, in these cases everyone lives on peacefully and happily. They go through crises in relationships together, figure things out, talk.

But if over and over again, instead of solving family problems, the husband went “to the left,” the situation cannot be corrected so easily. We must work with the past, present and future at the same time. With both spouses. Your husband sincerely believes that it is your difficulty to survive his betrayal. Therefore, one of the tasks is to show him that everything is just the opposite. Your feeling that the situation is over is his concern.

How to maintain trust

Now that you know how to regain a guy's trust, let's talk about how to keep it. The first thing to remember is that you cannot manipulate the feelings and trust of your lover. Try your best to avoid breaking the promises you made to him in order to come to reconciliation. Don't start talking about the conflict that happened between you. This will only open up old wounds and cause a new attack of aggression. Show love and affection as much as possible, try to prove to your significant other that serious changes have occurred in you. You must become ideal, caring and attentive, forget about any complaints.

Tell me, have you encountered such a phenomenon as betrayal in a relationship? Or maybe you yourself were the one who deceived your other half? Have you managed to restore the trust of your loved one?

How NOT to behave

There are certain behaviors that should be avoided in any situation.

1. Remember this in any situation. In quarrels or arguments to achieve what you want. Recall in jokes or make fun of it. This topic should go into the past and not be raised again. It will be easier for you to move on from betrayal if it is not in the air.
2. Forbid rejoicing. At any happy moment, pull him back, remembering his mistake. Do not thank for gifts, take all his advances and compliments for granted.
3. A complete ban on intimacy. It’s clear that after cheating you don’t want to sleep with your husband. But you cannot drag out the punishment for years - by doing this you are harming both yourself and him. Gradually become closer - first touching, hugging, kissing, caressing.
4. Jealousy, checking, rummaging through personal things. If you are afraid of a repeat of infidelity, which is understandable, discuss the rules of behavior with your husband. No passwords on phones or accounts, inform each other about plans for the day, warn about changes. Always answer calls and, if necessary, video calls. This way you won't have to keep an eye on him secretly, but you can always calm down your jealousy. With proper argumentation, he will make concessions so that you forgive him. Still, you have reasons for suspicion.

Your husband cheated on you, I’m sorry, but you shouldn’t put an end to your relationship. But if tension, irritation, persistent resentment and hatred reign in the family, the husband may leave forever. Why would he put up with something like this? Constantly living with a feeling of guilt that cannot be erased - no one can stand that.

So grieve in moderation, but don’t drag it out so as not to lose what you wanted to keep. And after that, follow the advice from the article “how to behave so that your husband does not cheat” so that the situation does not repeat itself.

If all else fails, it's better to get a divorce.

After betrayal, it is quite possible to return your husband to the family and live as happily as you did before. And it can be even better if you behave correctly. After all, now you can openly discuss what exactly doesn’t suit you in the relationship and meet each other halfway.

The path after the shock

The awareness of infidelity is different for everyone, although the pain is always the same. Someone, after 30 years of marriage, will decide to turn a blind eye to a fleeting relationship for the sake of children and old age together. Another will not tolerate recognition of registration on a dating site. The third will be caught up in the vicissitudes of hearing a confession from her mistress about a year-and-a-half affair with her husband.

All these women will be united by going through eight psychological stages. The speed of passage is always individual. We tend to experience stress according to a certain system, protecting ourselves from more severe injuries. You need to go through them gradually, that’s how the psyche works.

What to do if nothing helps

In some situations, a man cannot be changed. He doesn’t see any problems in his behavior, he doesn’t care about his wife’s feelings, it’s more important for him to get pleasant emotions from communicating with strangers online. This can't be fixed.

You will have to find a way out of this situation on your own, and there are not many options.

come to terms

If you are not ready to destroy your family because of your husband’s virtual affair, you need to accept the situation as it is and come to terms with it. In the end, he sits at home, doesn’t spend family money on mistresses, doesn’t get infected with anything and, by and large, just corresponds on the Internet. Many women don’t even see a problem in this situation.

Don't think about it and sleep peacefully.

It is worth understanding that having come to terms with your husband’s action, you need to completely let go of the situation:

• do not look through correspondence, do not read SMS, do not try to find out details;
• forgive your husband, don’t nag about this situation, don’t reproach, but simply ignore, as if it didn’t happen;
• don’t overthink yourself, don’t invent unnecessary things and don’t be jealous, take care of your nerves.

Learn to treat your husband's virtual hobbies as an unpleasant habit. Someone smokes, someone plays tanks, and yours communicates on the Internet. Just believe in your man - he promised that nothing would go beyond correspondence, so it is so. And regular messaging never hurt anyone.

Psychologist's advice

If you cannot convey your feelings to your spouse on your own, the only thing left to do is go to family counseling. Advice from psychologists, looking at the situation from the outside, discussing hidden motives for cheating in the presence of a professional can move the situation forward.

Perhaps the husband will trust a male psychologist more.

Most likely, the spouse will not want to voluntarily go to counseling, because he does not see the problem. Then you will have to make a choice - either a psychologist or a divorce. You do not intend to tolerate such behavior, and are ready for any solution to the problem.

If he wants to save his family, he will agree. And if not, then there is nothing to hold on to.

Breake down

In severe cases, the only correct solution is to break off the relationship. It’s worth deciding on this if:

• the spouse refuses to acknowledge the problem, does not want to go to a psychologist and does not try to save the relationship;
• if the correspondence indicates not only flirting, but also virtual sex, the exchange of intimate photographs, details about real meetings in the past;
• For you, such behavior of your husband is unacceptable and you cannot forgive him for his betrayal, then there is no point in maintaining the relationship.

Before deciding to divorce, make sure that you have tried all the methods, including the help of a psychologist. Sometimes a couple cannot agree on their own, and they need an outside perspective.

Farewell letter to a loved one

If a woman decides to say goodbye to her lover, she does not have to organize a last meeting. You can express your intentions in a letter.

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If the reason for the breakup was a new attachment, you should frankly admit it. There is no need to blame yourself, because sometimes a person cannot cope with his feelings. The main thing is not to name names, so that the abandoned man does not start looking for his rival.

It is important to start writing text with a cool head. A letter should not be an outlet for emotions; it has a purpose. To write a good text, you should adhere to the following recommendations:

1. 1. To begin with, it is better to write the letter in draft form. After this, you need to think about what points were missed and add the missing details to the main text. It is better to send the message after 1-2 days to make sure that it really contains all the thoughts that need to be conveyed to the man. Otherwise, a lengthy correspondence may begin, and this should not be allowed.
2. 2. When writing a note, it is not advisable to use such cliche phrases as “you deserve more”, “we are too different people” and others. Also, there is no need to list all the grievances caused to each other in the past. You need to express your thoughts as clearly and succinctly as possible, without unnecessary emotions.
3. 3. The text should not be pretentious. Most men adhere to a rational view of life and such epithets as “wonderful castle” or “lake of love” will not cause anything but bewilderment in a representative of the stronger sex.
4. 4. It is worth considering the character of the addressee. If a man is irritated by diminutive words, they should not be used.
5. 5. To show your best side, you should make sure that all words are written correctly and there are no typos. Handwriting should be as legible as possible.

What to do with recognition?

But it may also happen that the husband admitted to cheating. What to do now with your exact knowledge? Without having any secrets in this matter, some kind of decision will have to be made. How to do this if you love your husband and would like to preserve the relationship by any means? At the same time, you will have to swallow your resentment and, perhaps, give the go-ahead to his further affairs if he understands how dear you are. It should be borne in mind that even if you try to forget about this incident and continue to live amicably and happily, from time to time you will remember this situation when your husband is late at work or asks to go fishing with friends. This worm of doubt will always generate distrust in his words and promises. Is knowing about cheating worth it? Maybe it’s better to leave everything at the stage of doubt? It’s easier to experience it psychologically: either it happened or it didn’t.

How to write a farewell letter until you cry?

To write a beautiful farewell message, you need to consider:

1. Style. It is recommended to use business style. No matter how offended you are with your partner, do not use insults or offensive epithets. At the same time, the abundance of diminutive words (sunny, bunny, kitty) is also inappropriate.
2. Content. The message can be divided into 3 parts. In the first, describe your complaints and problems between you and your partner. In the second, you can talk about the future that awaited your couple, but it will never come. In the third part, wish your loved one happiness and meeting his soulmate. You can report a breakup in both the first and third parts.
3. Type of message. The letter can be electronic or written (printed) on paper. Emails appear more subdued. But if you want your message to move you to tears, write it by hand.

What to do if your husband cheats: leave or stay

After you have learned the whole truth, list on paper all the pros and cons of breaking up with your loved one. This article will help you understand whether you should forgive your husband’s infidelity. It tells us what can happen after this and how to “forgive” sins correctly.

We recommend reading Alexey Chernozem’s free book “What to do about men’s infidelity.” You will learn why men cheat and leave for their mistresses, how to react correctly to betrayal in order to preserve the relationship and prevent it from happening again in the future, and also how to survive all this.

If the betrayal happened only once, then it can be attributed to male weakness or quarrels in the family. But when the situation repeats itself over and over again, then what is the point of rehabilitating the relationship? The best solution would be to separate for a while, live separately and see how things work out next. If your husband is not going to take conciliatory steps, then have the pride not to stir up the past and let him go. If he wants, he will return.

Before you finally say goodbye to family life, try to make sure that your husband does not cheat. Here are all the details: who is not tempted by short skirts, what kind of woman can keep the most despicable male near her, what you should pore over.

Are you interested in who cheats more, men or women? Here you can find the most accurate statistics. They were obtained as a result of a large-scale survey and allow us to understand exactly when adultery occurs and what contributes to it.

If you decide to take revenge on your husband for cheating, the information in another article will help you not to lose face. You will be surprised what comes to women’s minds when the truth is revealed, you will find out whether it is worth taking revenge at all and what not to do.

Breakup SMS

It is not advisable to write farewell letters through short messages. With the help of short messages it is difficult to explain the reason for the breakup and talk about your feelings. However, in some cases it is worth using SMS. If your ex-partner lives with relatives, a letter written on paper may fall into the hands of strangers. Message options:

1. Our union did not bring happiness to any of us. We should break up.
2. I don't want to date a married man anymore. I suggest we break up.
3. I know about your betrayal. We shouldn't be dating.
4. I met the woman of my dreams. I hope you understand and won't be angry.

Why doesn't my husband leave the family?

It is impossible to say unequivocally why a husband cheats but does not leave his wife. It all depends on the reasons that prompted the affair, on family relationships and the character of the man. Someone is simply indecisive in life, and waits for everything to resolve itself. And the rest make decisions consciously, based on logical arguments.

Here are the most common reasons why a husband constantly cheats but does not leave:

Loves his wife

For men, there is a clear distinction between the concepts of “love” and “sex”. Women often think that if a man decides to cheat, it means he has stopped loving his wife and is madly in love with another. But this is far from reality. Attraction and sympathy are enough for them to sleep with a lady.

A man can have feelings for two women at once.

At the same time, a man can feel tenderness, care, respect and true love for his wife. Valued as a good conversationalist, friend, excellent wife and mother of children. But for sex he will prefer a young beauty.

Having children

Not only women stay married for the sake of children, husbands are also capable of this. Moreover, most often they are guided by a large number of arguments:

1. Divorce of parents will cause psychological trauma to the child.
2. After a divorce, the children will most likely be left with their mother, which means that you will only be able to see them on weekends.
3. They don’t want their children to be raised by their wife’s new husband in the future.
4. You will have to pay child support, which will hit your budget hard.
5. They are afraid that the children will be left with their dad and he will not be able to cope.

Even if the traitor no longer experiences his former tender feelings for his wife, they do not extend to his children.

Household convenience

Having a wife is actually very convenient. She prepares breakfasts, lunches, dinners, cleans the apartment, washes things, irons shirts, sews on buttons, collects socks for couples, and so on.

In addition to doing household chores, many women take care of their husband like a child - they will register him at the hospital, remind him of appointments, take care of him during illness, buy clothes and throw away leaky clothes. In general, it’s like a mother or a housekeeper, but you don’t have to pay.

The wife is an unpaid servant.

If necessary, she will also provide psychological support - she will listen, support, regret, give advice, or even solve problems herself. A man does not want to lose such a strong rear in the form of a family.

Social status

Conscience and public opinion do not allow a husband and father to exchange the honorable status of a “family man” for a “traitor.” After all, all relatives, parents, mutual acquaintances, and maybe even at work, learn about the divorce and its reasons. If the team is predominantly female, problems may arise at work. Perhaps that is why he does not leave the family.

And family men are more often promoted up the career ladder - they are considered more responsible and serious than their free colleagues.

The divorce process is scary

Divorce is very troublesome and expensive. You need to deal with papers, divide joint property, pay lawyers for their work. If there are children in the family, the situation becomes even more complicated.

Husbands are afraid not of losing their wife, but of divorce.

It is much easier to live a double life than to leave a lived-in apartment, lose your favorite things and waste your nerves in the courts.

Reluctance to quarrel

The husband is afraid of swearing, scandals, breaking dishes and feeling guilty before his wife. A man is also afraid that he will have to justify himself not only to his wife, but also to relatives and friends.

Now he has everything he needs to be happy, but when everyone around him finds out about his adventures, most of the people close to him will turn away from him.

Self-affirmation

For him, a relationship with his mistress is simply a way to assert himself. An intimate relationship with a young beautiful girl, or even two at once, greatly flatters his vanity. He feels like a real “male” and a heartthrob.

The older you get, the sweeter the taste of victory.

With age, a man may lose self-confidence, and will try to restore balance in his soul in such a simple way. After all, at heart he is still the same guy, yearning for female attention.

No future with my mistress

Meeting a couple of times a week exclusively for bed pleasures is one thing. But starting a serious relationship, family, home life is completely different. Not everyone is suited for this role, so it just doesn't make sense for him to abandon his family when there is no one to replace him.

Married men also often have affairs with married women.

They have common goals, they understand the importance of secrecy, and there is no need to be afraid that their mistress will want to become a wife. The ideal partner for a hike to the left

Having understood the psychology of cheating men, it will be easier for you to make decisions about your future. Be sure to read the article How to behave if your husband cheats but does not leave the family. There you will find step-by-step instructions and advice from a psychologist on how to cope with this situation and get out with the least losses.

Is it worth admitting to cheating?

This choice is rarely up to us. You open your husband’s computer to google a mincemeat recipe, and there is a message: “I undressed, I’m waiting for you.” Or this same lady (who always undresses inappropriately) will call herself and tell everything. And yet women are divided into two opposing camps.

• Some say: “I don’t want to know anything. If he loves me, he will be able to hide everything.”
• Others, as a precaution, rummage through their loved one’s pockets, phone, and laptop.

Again, there is no “right” approach. It is important to understand which position is closer to you and announce it to the man. It is not necessary to directly say: “If you go left, do everything so that I am not aware.”

According to a survey conducted by Rutgers University, 56% of unfaithful husbands say they are quite happy with their marriage and have no intention of getting a divorce.

The reason for the conversation could be a movie or a story from the lives of friends. A remark along the lines of: “Why did he confess if he had no intention of leaving the family?” or the phrase: “If I were the heroine, I would prefer not to know” will easily convey your opinion to the addressee.

Signs of male infidelity

There are not many facts that indicate that the husband went to the left. Unfortunately, for men they are so revealing that if the wife finds at least one of them, the man’s adventures will be revealed.

The information that a husband who cheats becomes inattentive and indifferent to the life of his wife is just fiction. In most cases, this is not the case.

Signs that a man is cheating:

• He developed new interests. Perhaps the man is doing the same thing as his new lover. Or he just needs time to meet her.
• During a regular examination by a gynecologist, a sexually transmitted disease was discovered. This is a direct sign of betrayal on his part, unless, of course, it was you who jumped into the buckwheat yourself.
• Your husband began to have strange things that he would never buy for himself. Perhaps these are gifts from his passion.
• The smell of another woman. In any case, her perfume, the aroma of shampoo, and the cigarettes she smokes will remain on it. But not every woman can feel such subtleties.
• He began to be afraid of you. It's no secret that he needs extra time to be with another woman. No matter how strange it may be, now he is afraid to even ask for time off for real fishing with friends. What if you suspect something?
• The unfaithful husband himself suspects his wife of adultery;
• The man walks with his eyes downcast, avoiding eye contact;
• Changes in sexual life: innovations or lack of desire. If a spouse cheats and sleeps with his wife, he will compare these women;
• To determine whether your husband has a mistress, look at his phone or check his email. At the same time, do not forget to remove traces of your actions from the history. Now the phone is not in an accessible place, but in the spouse’s pocket. Even a trip to the bathroom is not complete without a phone. It would be more correct to say that almost all trips there take place with a mobile phone, because it is a safe place to send and receive messages;
• During the call, the spouse leaves the room, for example, under the pretext that he can hear better there or goes to smoke. Have such situations started to happen periodically? This is a reason for doubt;
• Delays at work;
• Excuses without reason;
• Quarrels and nagging out of nowhere. When a man cannot leave on his own, he provokes a woman into a scandal in order to shift responsibility for what happened onto her;
• Sometimes a man himself begins to constantly talk about another woman, passing her off as an employee or just a friend of a friend;
• Non-existent delays or reductions in wages are also a reason for suspicion.

It is clear that all signs depend on the individuality of the man. If something unusual has appeared in his behavior, then you need to talk about it. Perhaps this discussion will immediately relieve you of unnecessary worries and suspicions.

There are a couple of behavior options for people who have taken a side trip. And accordingly, two types of men:

1. Those who try to always be good. And if they show up somewhere, they will shower you with flowers and sweets. The main thing is not to admit your imperfection.
2. The rest (the majority) do not want to lose their “male self.” These handsome guys think they are always on top. And all women are happy and satisfied to be in their environment.

Men belonging to the first group, when cheating, worry about the moral state of their wives. They become more compliant and allow more than usual. Do you want to hang out with the girls? So, go for a walk. Their gifts are becoming more and more expensive, and the time these individuals spend with their wives is becoming less and less.

Take symbolic actions

What do psychologists advise people who come to them with a desire to survive betrayal or betrayal? The main advice is to pay attention to symbolic actions. It is necessary to do what gave both partners joy when they started dating. For example, you can go for a walk in the park to feed the swans, go to a movie night, go on a picnic, or take a tent and go camping on the weekend. The most important thing is to refrain from making accusations at this time, not to talk about what happened, or better yet not to remember it at all. This will create a lot of positive memories for both partners. A strong emotional shock, which the girl and the guy will perceive as a kind of starting point from which the relationship begins with a clean slate, will not be superfluous. There are a lot of options: you can go on a trip around the world, move to another city or even country.

Spouse cheating

As soon as a man begins to cheat, a woman feels it thanks to her inner instinct, but so far she does not understand for sure whether this is really so. The thing is that the girl has very well developed intuition. And the ability to notice the slightest changes in emotions and actions also makes itself felt. Men have almost no intuition. And if a woman begins to cheat on him, he is unlikely to guess about it, of course, unless the wife herself gives the right hint.

The wife's assumptions are not always confirmed. Quite often, changes occur in a husband’s behavior due to serious troubles at work that he doesn’t want to talk about at home. There are often opposite situations when a woman who trusts her husband is the last to know about what all the neighbors around are quietly talking about. There are certain obvious signs for this, which we will describe in detail below.

Reveal everything that's hidden

Are you thinking about how to regain the trust of your beloved guy? Give him as much access into your life as possible. He should freely visit the most secret personal corners: messages on the phone, call list, page on social networks. If you decide to be as honest as possible, you still have nothing to hide, and such a bold step will help the guy calm down and lead to the restoration of trust. In addition, over time, the deceived person will understand that regular checks are not necessary at all. And when trust is completely restored, not a trace will remain of them.

Don't pretend to be a partisan during interrogation

Why:

This is especially absurd or cruel when you are practically “caught by the hand.”

Playing partisan during an interrogation, simply repeating “nothing happened” and “you’re making it all up” where everything is quite clear, is like putting someone else in front of a wall on which it is written in large letters: “I have a new life without you - and so it is.” and will be".

Many people caught cheating seem to think that if you remain silent about something, it will sooner be forgotten. This is wrong. By avoiding conversation in this way, you are once again rejecting your partner. If your goal is to save the relationship or end it peacefully, then this is a bad tactic.

What to do:

Stay in touch. You can refuse to comment on something, you can limit the time of conversations and assign a place for them, but just don’t play the silent game.

Might be interesting

Sexual ethics in the digital age: is virtual rape and betrayal possible online?

Head over heels in love and completely terrified: where do fears come from in relationships?

Don't devalue your relationship

Many victims receive a kind of relief when they hear that “she can’t hold a candle to you, I’m just attracted to variety / the demon has led me astray.” One of the painful questions at such moments is: what did he/she have that I didn’t have? Why is he or she better?

There is a great temptation to answer such questions: “nothing” - and begin to describe the imaginary and real disadvantages of the third party. Showing mercy? But in the long term, phrases like “she didn’t mean anything to me”, “it was a random partner”, “he can’t be compared to you” and so on do not help, because they do not explain why this insignificant person turned out to be you more interesting than your main relationship, and why did you go for it then.

And also because now your partner knows that you are capable of casual relationships. And also because one day, when things have calmed down, your partner will realize that you probably told the same thing to the other party.

What to do:

For example, answer: “It’s not about comparisons. It's about me."