In order to become lucky in this life, you need to put in a lot of effort, because personal improvement is a process that can increase our effectiveness and make us sought-after specialists. This is exactly what books related to self-development contribute to.
In this article, we have compiled a list of some of the most popular and useful self-development books for men that will help you take this difficult but very important path to personal improvement.
1.Charles Duhigg “The Power of Habit” self-development book
Charles Duhigg “The Power of Habit”
A list of the best self-development books for women, including 2 books about habit formation. First, the right habits can change your life 360 degrees. And secondly, your brain doesn’t care whether your habits are right or wrong. They are formed identically.
So, let's turn to the book by C. Duhigg “The Power of Habit”.
Habit is an unconscious action. Therefore, until you consciously begin to fight it, you will not be able to eradicate it!
C. Duhigg describes the scheme for the emergence of a habit. In order to develop a good habit, you need to use the habit cycle.
The Habit Cycle
The habit cycle consists of: a routine (a new action, a habit), a signal (what precedes the routine) and is accompanied by a reward.
You can reward yourself with pleasant sensations, for example, at the end of a workout. Or you can focus your attention on the signal. For example, decide for yourself the following: you will introduce exercise as a mandatory ritual. Time - morning; place - room; the preceding action is awakening.
Standard signals:
- time
- place
- emotional condition
- environment
- previous action
You can improve or introduce cues or rewards, creating a lasting habit instead of beating yourself up for your lack of discipline.
Choosing between good and bad habits
People are not able to eradicate a bad habit, but they can replace one with another. For example, you reach for a cookie while working. Perhaps you just want to relax.
Procrastination is also a negative habit.
The secret to productivity is having good habits. Having formed healthy habits, you will not need to talk to yourself about eating a healthy salad or a bun, your hands will reach out for a healthy snack.
Tao De Ching, Lao Tzu
Eastern literature fosters masculinity and a calm attitude towards all difficulties.
The book of Lao Tzu is a classic of Chinese literature. The title of the book translates as “The Book of Path and Virtue.”
This is one of the best self-development books for men.
Tao De Ching talks about the concept of "Tao", which permeated almost all Chinese philosophy.
The Tao will make you more courageous.
Go deep into reading and read this book deeply.
You will be able to perceive life and its difficulties calmly, with the dignity befitting a man.
Nothing calms your soul more than the works of Eastern sages talking about the Tao.
Read this book and find peace of mind.
Steven Guys “MINI-habits - MAXI-results” motivation book
S. Gaiz “Mini-habits - Maxi-results”
The main idea of the book on self-development: “Doing something a little bit, but every day is better than doing something a lot, but once every 2 weeks.”
When you perform an action frequently, neural connections are formed in your brain. Subsequently, you begin to instill in yourself the desired action using a mini version of your new positive habit.
If a person expects difficulty in performing a new action, it can be difficult for him to tune in. But if he tells himself “I’ll just put on a tracksuit and do a plank for 5 seconds,” it’s easy to agree to it.
Forming mini versions of good habits
So, choose 2-3 habits that you want to form in yourself. Now create a mini version of a good habit. Meanwhile, it must be a ridiculously small habit. For example, you want to form habits:
pump up your abs every day
drink water in the morning
eat fruits and vegetables daily
Then mini versions of these habits would look like this:
do abdominal exercises – 1 time
drink 1 sip of water (place a glass of water near the bed)
eat 1 piece of apple or other fruit (vegetable) before lunch
Examples of good habits
You also need to think about a reward or encouragement, then the habit will form faster.
At the same time, willpower is a limited resource. People often overestimate themselves!
For greater efficiency and clarity, write down separately those habits that you want to acquire (mini-versions of them) and those that you would like to get rid of!
3.Tony Robbins “Awaken the Giant Within”
T. Robbins “Awaken the Giant Within”
The author of the book is an NLP specialist and he successfully programs people for success.
NLP in simple words is a set of psychotechniques, verbal and non-verbal techniques that can “introduce” certain information into a person’s brain in order to change not only his thinking, but also his behavior.
The author's main ideas
Goal setting method
Tony Robbins has his own method of setting goals. To start, you need to write down your goals in 4 different areas. Then choose the 2 main ones - they are a priority for a period of time (for example, a year). Every day you ask yourself the question: “What can I do today to achieve my goal.”
Since you have identified your goal, you will notice that the subconscious begins to help you. It will begin to notice opportunities that will become larger every day. Thus, you are “doomed to success.”
10 day mental detox
Start living without negativity. Try to live 10 days without negative thoughts. Meanwhile, if you catch yourself in anger, resentment or fear and hold on to this emotion for more than 1 minute, start counting 10 days again.
success modeling
Look for people who inspire you. Watch them. Copy their beliefs!
open targets
As you approach your goal, you must clearly understand “what next?”
For example, a girl really wants to get married. Since childhood, I imagined myself in a wedding dress, the joy of the process. Once she got married and her goal was achieved, she doesn't know what's next. There are no goals. Thus, the girl continues to live her life poorly.
focus on goal
Focus on the goal, not the obstacles. The book gives an example with racers. If a rider sees that he is flying into a wall, then he needs to look not at it, but in the direction of the correct trajectory. Otherwise he will simply kill himself!
Book of Five Rings, Miyamoto Musashi
A classic work by one of Japan's greatest samurai, Miyamoto Musashi.
This man, from the age of twenty, devoted himself to the art of war and lived like a real warrior.
In Japan, his book is used as a guide to tough and uncompromising personnel and business management.
You can learn from him lessons of courage and bravery to reveal your lion's heart.
Miyamoto Musashi lived his life as a great samurai, and now he will teach it to you.
The book is written in very strong, beautiful and simple language. I was literally giddy at how easy it is to be a man if you have the right mentor.
And the best mentor you can find for yourself is an old Japanese samurai who has gone through dozens and hundreds of fights and tempered his spirit to the level of a demigod.
Stephen Covey “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”
7 Habits of Highly Effective People
This book was named one of the most effective business books in 2011. Still popular to this day! We also decided to include this book in the list of self-development books for women.
There are 2 groups of people:
- Reactive people are those people who always focus their attention on what they cannot change. Thus, blaming circumstances for their troubles.
- Proactive people are those who focus their attention on things they can change. They pay their attention exclusively to what they are able to change and influence.
Our brain does not like to work, striving for easy solutions and laziness. Therefore, people avoid asking questions: “What can I do in this situation,” so that they don’t have to work or strain themselves anymore. It is much easier to blame circumstances, the state, the authorities, abdicating responsibility.
Habits of Highly Effective People
Be proactive
Know in advance what we want to achieve as a result of our actions
Put what's really important first
If family and health are important to you, and you spend the whole evening in front of the TV, answering family and friends in a dismissive tone, what will you end up with?
Think about winning 2 sides
Don't assume that someone else's loss means you win! After all, to win it is not necessary for someone to lose!
Try to benefit someone so that they can benefit you.
Applies to any interpersonal relationships, but only at work!
Ability to create synergy
Synergy is the combined effect of factors, characterized by the fact that their combined effect significantly exceeds the effect of each individual component and their simple sum.
In other words, if you have a project and you need a designer, then you have 2 options for solving the problem. You can teach yourself design and all the intricacies. However, this will take you 5-10 years of your life. And time, remember, is a limited resource. Or you recruit an experienced and talented designer to your team who successfully copes with the assigned tasks.
The ability to “self-renew”
Develop yourself, exercise, do what is really important and what will bear fruit.
YOU NEED TIME TO CHANGE YOURSELF FOR THE BETTER.
All these gurus like to say that “you can change yourself in three days if you really want to.”
I'll tell you the truth: no, you can't. No matter how bad you want it.
You won't change yourself in three days. You won't change yourself in thirty-three days.
You will need at least three hundred thirty-three days.
I would even say seven hundred and thirty-three days.
But not three.
Gradual and systematic actions on the way to your goal change you.
So what are they trying to give you in training?
And what can you do to truly achieve these results?
Stephen Covey “7 Habits of Highly Effective Families”
7 Habits of Highly Effective Families
Another book on self-development and self-improvement for women is “7 Habits of Highly Effective Families.” This book's main idea is intertwined with the previous book, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” The author of the book, Stephen Covey, knew what he was writing about, because he was the father of 9 children and grandfather of 52 grandchildren.
Stephen touches on such an important topic for every woman as family, its unity and well-being. Covey claimed that the definition of the family mission was a significant event in his family's history.
In this book, the author says that the most important task of a person is to support his family. But happy families do not arise by themselves. This requires maximum energy, desire and determination.
To make relationships in your family stronger and friendlier, apply the 7 skills from Stephen Covey. These skills are very similar to the ones he listed in the first book. However, they are “sharpened” for a family.
Stephen Covey family
Habits of Highly Effective Families
Be proactive
Proactivity is conscious activity. A parent or spouse, when doing something, is aware of his action or inaction. His actions and decisions are deliberate and voluntary.
For example, the son broke a plate. The proactive action of the parent is to find out what he wanted to do and direct the child's energy in the right direction. The parent's reactive action is to punish the child and not allow him to touch the dishes without permission.
Start with the end goal in mind.
Every family should have a common goal, its mission. There is no single template for its development, because... All families are different with their own lifestyle, traditions and values. So, the family, in a general council, develops a mission, as well as how each family member can help to achieve a common goal.
Focus on the main things
There are important and unimportant things, urgent and non-urgent things. It is very important to spend enough time with your family for its effectiveness and well-being. After all, family is the most important component in life.
Think in the spirit of win-win
Firstly, a family is a single organism. All its members make a feasible contribution to its well-being, including children. Secondly, there should be no rivalry in the family. In a family, it should not be that one participant is a loser and the other is a winner.
First understand, then try to be understood
Be sincerely interested in the affairs of your household, actively listen and take the first step towards them. You need to talk about yourself, your feelings and experiences, and show empathy.
Achieve synergy
This means that you need to apply all the tips at the same time. Only together can we achieve maximum results. Ask for help, ask for advice! “Involve as many family members as possible in everything.
Sharpen your saw
What does it mean? To cut down a tree faster, the woodcutter should not cut the tree, but should use a sharper saw. Over time, any relationship becomes a routine, feelings become dull. However, this can be avoided. To do this, you need to invest effort in updating. Examples of such updates are traditions, dinners together, and travel. It is very important that the family unites, is united, and shows interest in each other!
family traditions
Fight like a Champion. Explosive Punching and Active Self-Defense, Jack Dempsey
Did you think that self-development meant time management, yoga and watching motivational TV series?
You were wrong, my friend.
It's time to learn how to fight.
This book by one of the greatest boxers, Jack Dempsey, teaches you how to punch and defend yourself.
After this book, you will love boxing - one of the noblest sports.
Open this book and learn how to do punches correctly: jabs, hooks, uppercuts.
A man must know how to fight. This book will motivate you to go to a boxing class and develop your fighting spirit.
You will also discover a couple of new techniques, and maybe even change your understanding of the correct striking technique.
Remember: Mike Tyson looked up to this man - and that says something.
Read this cool book and soak up the spirit of boxing!
6. Hal Elrod “Magic of the Morning”
The Magic of the Morning
The next book on self-development and motivation that I would like to talk about is Hal Elrod’s book “The Magic of the Morning”.
In this book, the author talks about how important the first hours of awakening are for a person. Hal Elrod claims that if you use his advice, your life can change dramatically for the better.
It’s not even the whole morning, but the 1st hour that determines a person’s success.
“Miracle Morning” technique
Hal Elrod introduces readers to the Miracle Morning technique. To implement it, you need to wake up 1 hour earlier. This is necessary in order to have time to do certain practices. “The Miracle Morning” consists of 6 links:
1. Silence. This could be meditation, prayer, expressing gratitude, reflection, even breathing.
2. Affirmations. These are positive statements: “I am a very successful woman,” “I am happy,” “I am full of strength and energy,” etc. in the same vein.
example of affirmation for every day
3.Visualization. A vision of the life you aspire to. What do you want to achieve? What is your dream job? What kind of house would you like?
4.Physical exercises. Morning activity is not only necessary for morning vigor, it allows you to be more active and energetic throughout the day.
5. Reading. A useful and mandatory minimum is 10-15 minutes a day. Be sure to re-read books about personal growth. As a rule, many points are forgotten or not paid attention to. When reading again, new insights emerge (“insights”)
6. Letter. Keeping a journal helps you remember important things and also helps you document your thoughts, plans, and activities.
Thus, the author suggests using all these 6 practices in any order. However, the author recommends doing them before 8 a.m.
How to increase your motivation level when you wake up
Before you go to bed, talk through your expectations for the morning. They must be positive.
Place your alarm clock away from your bed. Then you won't be able to reset the alarm.
When you wake up, brush your teeth with mint toothpaste and drink a glass of water.
Wear sports clothes.
Practice outside of the bedroom.
Treat morning as a pleasant bonus in your life.
Over time, this ritual will become a habit, and your life will sparkle with new colors!
7.John Kehoe “The subconscious can do anything”
D. Kehoe “The subconscious mind can do anything”
The author of the book is a famous Canadian writer, trainer in the field of personal growth. He showed by his personal example how you can make yourself who you want!
The book answers the questions: “What shapes our reality?”, “How easy is it to get along with the people around me?”
Book Highlights
When you believe that everything is bad or that you cannot achieve more, you are “poisoning” yourself! Therefore, form beliefs that will help you.
Make time for positive thoughts every day. At the same time, fix the thought you need in your mind as a fact that happened. “I am unique”, “I am good”, “I and only I control my life”, “I can do what I want.”
Treat yourself with love and respect. Make a list of your strengths and achievements. Minimum 20 points.
Train your creativity. Being creative is a choice, not a talent. To develop creativity:
- try to solve ordinary problems in an unusual way
- change your habits and rules, lifestyle, behavior
- get out of your comfort zone more often
- learn new hobbies
Great ideas often come when you're not busy and in a hurry!
Look for the best in every person! People feel how you treat them and respond in kind. Do not respond to rudeness with rudeness!
The main idea of the book: By deciding what thoughts will be in your head, you thereby create your reality. “To change external circumstances, you must first change internal ones”
The Way of the Leading Fist (Tao of Jeet Kune Do), Bruce Lee
The greatest martial artist, Bruce Lee, wrote this book to help any man involved in martial arts, as well as those who want to know themselves.
Much of this book is devoted to fighting techniques and will be of interest to boxers and kickboxers, but the beginning and end are pure masculine philosophy.
Bruce Lee keeps things simple. With his book, your understanding of the world will also become simpler, and you will be able to find inner peace.
Bruce Lee will answer your questions on how to stop being afraid of a fight, how to be more confident in yourself.
Roy Baumeister and John Tierney “Willpower”
Roy Baumeister John Tierney “Willpower”
Another great book on self-development and motivation is “Willpower”.
This book is suitable for those who really want to change their life through effort. It talks about how achieving results and self-development is impossible without willpower and self-control.
The authors of this book, Roy Baumeister, an American scientist, and John Tirley, a journalist from the New York Times, talk about how to take control of your life.
The book presents the results of many years of research by Roy Baumeister, as well as the results of scientists from Russia, Canada, and Germany. Therefore, the book is quite interesting to read.
“...about four hours a day—that’s about a quarter of their active time—people fight their temptations.”
The authors, in an accessible language understandable to the common man, talk about the relationship between psychological and physiological processes and self-control. All conclusions are supported by the results of scientific research.
“No glucose - no willpower: the more different situations and people the experimenters used, the clearer the picture became. When there is not enough energy, the body has to normalize its distribution, and the reproductive system takes priority, and willpower remains on a starvation diet.”
It is also very interesting to talk about why our many plans and expectations are not realized. This is especially true for New Year's resolutions.
The fact is that people have a limited supply of willpower, which decreases as it is spent. We use our willpower for different purposes. Thus, “diverse New Year’s resolutions come into conflict with each other, since there is only one source of the will to follow them. Every time you target one thing, you reduce your ability to accomplish everything else.”
The authors advise making one important decision for the near future and following it. This makes it more likely to happen!
Physical Development (Your Body)
I will take one quote from the site of this men's training:
“Physical activity is a sure-fire way to influence your personality. You will see your hidden resources and understand that you have everything to move towards your goal.”
Listen carefully.
You can only get this result through hard training.
Every grueling workout is your man's training.
Day after day, a diligent process of working on my body and my diet.
Gradually you start to look better.
Your veins and muscles begin to appear.
What do they offer you at men's training?
Shock therapy.
A person who has almost never done push-ups must pound push-ups until exhaustion.
He is not prepared for this. Neither physically nor psychologically.
From such shock therapy, he may suffer from ligament injury or an internal aversion to sports.
He won’t even understand what an hour or two hour workout is, which only lifts your mood.
Where you can rest between sets to regain all your strength.
Where you can drink water when you need it.
Where you can enjoy your workout.
Nooooo.
Not at men's training.
Here they will make it clear to you: sport = long, painful, scary.
Look, I love sports.
But if you force an untrained person to do push-ups until he craps himself, he will be afraid of the next workout.
You don't need shock therapy to get in shape.
You need a HABIT.
This is all done in small bricks, you know?
Each workout is one brick in the construction of a large building (your body).
One-day shock push-ups will do absolutely nothing.
YOU MUST LOVE WORKING ON YOUR BODY AND WORK ON IT FOR YEARS.
This is how you get a good result.
Every time you love training more and more.
They become part of your life.
In the process of training, you have insights that you can apply anywhere in your life.
For example, when you think your body is already tired, there is actually a lot more you can do.
You push yourself beyond your tiredness. Doing more than you thought possible.
And you understand: I HAVE MORE POWER THAN I ORIGINALLY THOUGHT.
But the price of this philosophy is EFFORT OVER TIME.
One training session is not enough to develop anything in you.
As far as I know, for the price of this training you can buy an annual gym membership.
Buy yourself a membership and fuck off at the gym for a whole year.
This year will be a real investment in your life.
TIME.
You need time.
9. Daniel Siegel and Tina Bryson “Discipline without Drama”
The book “Discipline without Drama”
is a must read for all those who have children and even those who are planning! It can also change your relationships not only with children, but also with adults. This is a wonderful book on self-development for women.
First, the authors define the discipline.
What does discipline mean?
It is common to associate discipline with punishment for bad behavior. Initially, discipline is associated with learning. Thus, to discipline means to teach. Punishment can sometimes stop bad behavior. But it gives a short-term effect. Our long-term goal as parents is to teach our child to control himself. And also help form his internal guidelines, which will help him make decisions without the authority of his parents. How can this be achieved? Any learning must begin with emotional contact.
Secondly, they talk about 3 features of the brain.
Brain Features
The BRAIN is changeable
It can be roughly divided into 2 levels: the upper brain and the lower.
The lower brain is also called ancient or primitive. It is responsible for the basic functioning of the body, simple emotions, instincts. The ancient brain is already well developed at birth. Therefore, when a 2-year-old baby can throw something at you or throw fists at you if he doesn’t get what he wants, this is the work of the lower primitive brain.
the functioning of the primitive brain in a child
The upper or higher brain helps us make conscious decisions, show empathy (a person’s ability to empathize), and control ourselves. This brain is poorly developed at birth and is fully formed only by age 25.
The higher brain is responsible for internal boundaries. And since the child is poorly developed, he simply needs external boundaries. The parent must guide the child, set boundaries, help develop higher brain skills.
We change the BRAIN
The structure of the brain physically changes depending on experience. How does this happen? When we have an experience, certain neurons in the brain become active and form circuits. Therefore, it is not a good idea to allow your child to sit in front of the TV for hours!
formation of circuits from neurons
THE BRAIN IS COMPLEX
It consists of different parts that are responsible for different functions. When a child is naughty, his primitive brain works. Thus, if at this moment you threaten him, the reaction of defense or attack will automatically work. First of all, you need to calm the primitive brain and activate the higher one. Here you will need emotional contact: hugs, consolation.
When a child least deserves our love, he needs it most!
Many people wonder if the child will be spoiled? If you contact him every time he behaves badly? Meanwhile, you can’t be spoiled by love!
Atlas Shrugged. Ayn Rand
Here is a book that will change your worldview . If you are not ready to say goodbye to old ideas, then you can hardly recommend reading Atlas Shrugged.
From the book you will get answers to the painful question about the meaning of life, which has worried and worries the minds of all mortals, as well as what is the role of man in society.
Experts come to power in the United States, and the government takes a course toward “equal opportunities.” In his opinion, talented and wealthy people are capable of making worthless people who do not have outstanding talents rich.
The economy is collapsing, and talented people begin to disappear under mysterious circumstances. The main characters of the novel are trying to stop the chaos.
10. John Gray “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”
“Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”
The author of the book is psychologist John Gray. The main idea of the book is based on the assumption that men and women are so different, as if they live on different planets.
If you want to improve your relationship with your significant other or understand men better. Or maybe you don’t have a serious relationship yet, but want to build a strong family? Then the book can give valuable advice! A wonderful book on self-development, the author of which believes that men and women make 2 main mistakes in their relationships:
Women love to give advice, even if they are not asked for it. And they also strive to remake men to suit themselves.
Men insist on solving the problem without taking into account the woman’s feelings. It is important for a woman to share her emotions, to be heard, to feel supported and cared for. So it is not always important for her to describe the essence of the problem.
“Giving without expecting anything in return, being there when you are truly needed: that is true love.”
