Murphy's Laws. Just wait and the bad things will disappear by themselves

Something like
Murphy's Law

- a fundamental principle according to which it is possible to explain why a particular activity ends in failure or even disaster. In Hochrussisch it is also sometimes called the "law of meanness" or "the law of the sandwich." The latter formulation is believed to have first appeared in Mark Gallay's book Tested in the Sky (1963). Gallay, in turn, attributes it to Jerome K. Jerome, but no proof has yet been found (although many moments from “Three in a Boat, Not Counting a Dog” and the whole story “On the dangers of other people’s advice” can be considered prototypes with a fair amount of imagination). Any of the laws described below can be called the “law of meanness.”

[edit] Synopsis

It all, in fact, began with the fact that in 1949, at the Pindos Air Force base Edwards, in California, a certain engineer began to think about why airplane accidents occur. Our patient's name was Edward Murphy (var. Murphy; English Murphy). So, he argued that if something can be done wrong, then these stupid technicians will do just that.

According to legend, the phrase “If there are two ways to do something, and one of them leads to disaster, then someone will choose that way” was first said when a running airplane engine began to rotate the propeller in the wrong direction. As it turned out later, the technicians somehow managed to install the parts backwards.

According to the version outlined in the "hacker's dictionary" aka "jargon file", Edward was a test engineer for the McDonnell-Douglas company and conducted experiments concerning the determination of accelerations acceptable for humans (Project MX981). The sensors, of which there were 16, could be attached to the subject’s body in two ways, only one of which was correct. So, the famous phrase was uttered after it was discovered that all sixteen sensors were installed incorrectly. View the original here.

The project manager from the Northrop Grumman Corporation, J. Nichols, called these constant problems “Murphy’s law.” At one of the press conferences, the Air Force colonel who conducted it stated that everything achieved in ensuring flight safety was the result of overcoming “Murphy’s law.” After which, in fact, this term was memetized.

However, the status of an epic victory was given to these laws by the YERZh and the writer Arthur Bloch, author of the book “Murphy’s Laws.” Actually, it is this form of presentation that is canonical due to the Orthodox combination of facts and lulz.

The insidious magic of pragmatism

The “laws of meanness” attributed to the technical skeptic Murphy are not, as we see, unique discoveries. But we should give him his due - after all, a whole fascinating genre of literary collecting of everyday misunderstandings has appeared.

The most famous book in this regard was by Arthur Bloch. In it, the author, with deliberate seriousness, finds his system in the confusion of Murphy-style witticisms. At Bloch’s suggestion, these “wandering” conclusions are put into a more elegant verbal form.

The book does not do without vital satirical “stuffing”, which is so necessary in the conditions of eternally incompetent politicking. “Smile today – because tomorrow there may not be a reason!” - Bloch sarcastically calls.

The idea of ​​such creativity has many followers. The set of Murphy's laws implies branches, gradations and all sorts of clarifications. Finagle's, Stockmeyer's, Chisholm's rules, consequences, principles, postulates... What kind of tricks can you find as part of a whole humorous science - Murphylogy!

[edit] Laws

Tomatoes in the topic of law
Murphy's canonical laws:

1. Everything is not as easy as it seems.
2. Everything takes longer than you might expect.
3. If some trouble can happen, it will definitely happen. Moreover: if several troubles can happen, then they will all definitely happen and, moreover, in the most unfavorable sequence.
4. If N causes of possible troubles are eliminated in advance, then there will always be a cause numbered N+1.
5. Left to their own devices, events tend to go from bad to worse.
6. As soon as you start doing some work, there is another that needs to be done even earlier.
7. Every solution creates new problems.

Consequences:

• Of two mutually exclusive troubles, the one that causes the greatest damage will happen.
• The sandwich falls butter side down: butter is specifically heavier than porous bread, so it tends down. There is no need to even remember the meanness of nature.
• If a sandwich is buttered on both sides, it will not hang in the air, but will begin to roll around on the carpet, turning from side to side. The number of turns is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
• A freshly prepared hot cheese sandwich falls straight onto your bare leg, cheese side down.
• If an error can creep into a program, it will creep in.
• An error that has crept into the program will be aimed at causing maximum harm.
• If the program compiles the first time without debugging, then it is not working correctly, but you also cannot see why. There may be a compiler error.
• What you need is just not there, and when it is not needed, there is just plenty of it.
• Only after unscrewing the last of the 22 bolts securing the protective casing does the unscrewer realize that this is the WRONG casing.
• Only after tightening the last of the 22 bolts securing the protective casing does the driver realize that they forgot to put a gasket inside...
• If you drop a tool, it will roll into the most inaccessible corner of the workshop...
• ...but before that it will hit you painfully on the leg and break something else.
• Lost small and fragile items will be found after replacements have been purchased.
• In this case, they are found only by stepping on them with a characteristic crunch.
• You can't fall off the floor. (spoiler:
  But you can take the experiment into low-Earth orbit, where the concept of “gender” loses its meaning
  )
• “The law of crevice”: a ring, falling on the floor, always rolls into the gap, no matter how small the area of ​​the gap is compared to the area of ​​the floor.
• Double-sided discs: no matter which side you place the disc in the drive, the information you need is on the back side.
• “USB superposition law”: no matter which side you insert the USB cable into the port, it will not insert. If you turn it over, it won’t fit either. And only after one more revolution the cable will be successfully inserted.
• No matter which side you start eating the pie from, the filling will definitely end up on the opposite side.
• No matter which side you open the package of pills from, it will open from the side where it is difficult to take them out because of the piece of paper with instructions for use.
• Of the identical keys in the bunch, the last one tested is the one needed.
• When inserting the blanket into the duvet cover, you should always turn the second unit four times - the cut will never show up from the first. And even if not four, but three, then always in the opposite direction.

Why has the phenomenon become so popular?

Despite the fact that this empirical law is rather pessimistic, it quickly spread to the masses and is still actively used in various variations. There are several reasons for this.

1. Teaches you to be alert and helps prevent possible mistakes. If, when performing an important task, you know in advance where to lay the straw, this will help to avoid problems.
2. Removes responsibility. When trouble does happen, it is always easier to believe in the fatalism of what is happening and transfer responsibility from your shoulders to something that is not in your power.
3. Helps to approach problems with humor. If you make fun of the situation, it will not be so offensive because of failure.

Soda's Law is common in British culture. It arose long before the advent of Murphy's Law and states that the worst case scenario will happen exactly when you are least prepared for it. For example, you will have to wait the longest for the bus if you are in a hurry, and a large discount on the product you purchased will appear shortly after purchase.

[edit] Parkinson's Law

Very close in essence, but still stands out separately from Parkinson’s law: “Any work increases in volume to fill all the time allotted for it.” The point is that if Murphy discovered his law, probably in a fit of HATE, then Parkinson delivered it deliberately. For he was a statistician and discovered a pattern based on data about the naval bureaucracy.

Subsequently, Parkinson substantiated several more very good, suitable laws. Alsoo even trolled the merfifags a little, proving that Peter’s principle, the essence of which is: in a hierarchical system, any employee rises to the level of his own incompetence[1], is applicable only in the case of operating exclusively spherical horses in a vacuum.

Illusory correlation

Matthews also talked about something called "illusory correlation", which is why people believe in Murphy's Law. Illusory correlation is when a person incorrectly perceives a relationship between two variables when in fact no such relationship exists. These two variables can be a person, an action, an idea, or an event. For example, when we are in a traffic jam, it always seems to us that we are in the slowest lane. This mistaken assumption stems from our inherent behavior. We focus more on the cars passing by than on ourselves passing other cars.

David Hand, a statistician and professor of mathematics at Imperial College London, believed that the law of truly large numbers should sometimes make Murphy's law true. Additionally, selection bias ensures that these phenomena linger in our minds for a long time, making Murphy's Law seem universal when in fact it is not.

[edit] Le Chatelier's principle

It is better known among chemists due to its clarity. The scientifically correct formulation (the so-called moderation theorem) is not important; the following consequences are interesting:

• no matter how we try to change the state of the system under study, using external influences (changes in pressure, temperature, torture), the system tends to reduce the effect of the efforts made to a minimum.
• when external constraining factors are reduced, the equilibrium system itself
  generates constraining factors (the same or others) - roughly speaking, it drowns in its own shit. It would seem that. However, this is the essence of balance.
• if for some reason a certain negative element of the environment is absent or does not have a noticeable impact, it will be replaced by another, no less disgusting muck. Simply put: “not diarrhea, it’s scrofula.”

The chemical equilibrium in the reaction shifts in the opposite direction to the bullshit that caused it. In chemistry. Simply put: if you try too hard to do something good, it will turn out bad (in other ways). In common parlance: “the best is the enemy of the good.” However, if you try to do everything badly, you can suddenly get a positive effect, or “there would be no happiness, but misfortune helped.”

It is worth noting that the balance is still shifting

, that is, “the efforts are not in vain.” Another thing is that equilibrium systems “resist” changes, which is what chemists noticed.

The theoretical justification for Le Chatelier's law is given by the more general principle of mechanical equilibrium, first considered by Galileo and approved by the capable mathematician Lagrange. Its essence comes down to Newton's third law: any action causes a reaction. This formulation is the most familiar and understandable; ICHS easily extends to almost any physical and chemical phenomena (you can google about variational principles).

MEGA LAWS

Ilf's Revelation

Living on such a planet is just a waste of time!

Megalaws of Kozma Prutkov

All parts of the globe have their own, sometimes even very curious, other parts.

The most distant point on the globe is close to something, and the closest point is distant from something.

Bitov's Mega Law

While nothing happens, everything becomes different.

Bitov's comment

Real changes are not visible to the eye.

[edit] Gumperson's Law

Here are typical examples of this law:

• A free parking space is always located on the opposite side of the street.
• a cigarette butt thrown out of a car window starts a forest fire, while it takes you at least an hour and a half to light a fire in the fireplace, and even with the help of gasoline, and the wood is dry, like the desert on a hot day.
• grass specially sown in fertilized soil does not want to grow, but several seeds of the same grass, accidentally falling into a crack in the asphalt, sprout magnificently.
• The cutest girl in the class will never give you this, since this is the most desired event. On the contrary, the most terrible fat woman will give it to you, and your secret love will meet with that asshole who fucks you.
• The more a couple wants to have a child, the more difficult it is for them. The more protection she takes, the greater the likelihood of pregnancy.

Gumperson's law cannot be confused with either Parkinson's law or Murphy's law.

SITUATIONAL MERPHOLOGY

Cafeteria Law

What you noticed in the window will be bought by the person who came in front of you.

Ettore's Observation [from Murphy's Law I]

The queue next to you always moves faster.

O'Brien's version of Ettore's observation

As soon as you move to another line, your ex starts moving faster.

Kenton's Corollary

Your throwing back and forth inflates both queues.

Law of writing

As soon as you seal the letter, fresh thoughts come to mind.

Jones' Zoos and Museums Act

The most interesting exhibit does not have a nameplate.

Wood's drawing rules

• Never draw something that can be copied.
• Never copy something that can be traced.
• Never trace something that can be cut and pasted.

Basic principle of luggage

No matter which conveyor you stand at, your luggage will appear on another one.

The sense of humor of our lives

Murphy's Law of Meanness is, in fact, completely universal. Remember, for example, the famous song: “for 10 girls, according to statistics, there are 9 guys.” And there are examples like this all the time, if you think about it. Absolutely every person on earth sooner or later finds himself in a situation where something needed at that very moment (or better yet, yesterday) is lost. Of course, miraculously it is not found until the need for it disappears, and later, after you have rummaged through all imaginable and inconceivable places, it is found right in front of your nose.

“As soon as you wash your car, it starts to rain,” says Murphy’s laws. Not a single car enthusiast will dare to challenge this statement, since the percentage of developments in precisely this vein is too large.

What about “the snorer falls asleep first”? Isn't this true? Of course, we cannot forget about the truly brilliant statement about the benefits of reading explanatory literature: “If nothing else helps, finally read the instructions.” How many devices have been mastered using the so-called “scientific poke” method? And how many were spoiled in this case?

Murphy's laws - funny and at the same time absolutely accurate - can explain any phenomenon in our lives. All failures, incidents and awkward situations happen in accordance with them.

Conclusion. What can you learn for yourself?

If in your context there are problems with planning, forecasting, anticipating the future: it makes sense to pay attention to the other side of the coin, this will increase the accuracy of the forecast. We took the law and consequences from https://murphy-law.net.ru/, and added our own explanations

We hope that in trying to pack everything into an accessible form, we did not distort the essence and were useful to readers. Then we say goodbye!

We took the law and consequences from https://murphy-law.net.ru/, and added our own explanations. We hope that in trying to pack everything into an accessible form, we did not distort the essence and were useful to readers. Then we say goodbye!

Tropes and cliches[edit]

• Absurd humor is one of the humorous techniques.
• Achilles bullshit - vulnerable to .
• Crazy troll logic is one of the humorous techniques.
• Useless cavalry - .
• Literally understood words are one of the humorous techniques.
• .
• Time paradox - the laws of time are clearly subordinated only to screenwriters.
• Always ready! “Milo, there’s no other way to survive.”
• Everything went too wrong - attempts to help the world with their inventions only led to local disasters.
• Plot hole - in one of the episodes Milo and two
  Justify: the Agency headquarters HAS protection from time changes. But since in that very version of the future the pistachios destroyed this headquarters, the protection in this particular case stopped working. This can be confirmed by the fact that agents are well aware of materials that protect against time changes.
  Read also:  How to improve literacy in the Russian language: tips and assistant services, your reference book
• State security - FBI agents conducting operations that are mysterious in their absurdity: stealing cows, monitoring the morale of astronauts at parades, etc. An outright parody of the Men in Black trope.
• Woodsexuality - Miss Murawski and her table, Scott the Dungeon and a milk carton named Mildred, Bradley Nicholson and an ice cream machine.
• The only normal person - you can’t wait, everyone has their own cockroaches, the only difference is their number and size.
• Off-screen teleportation is Dog's favorite technique.
• Icelandic truthfulness - .
• And the villain has favorites - .
• Comic misunderstanding of the essence is one of the humorous techniques
• catchphrase
  Melissa's "boom", which serves as a sort of exclamation point.

  :

• The crowning moment is Eliot saving the school from destruction by a rolling ball. The significance of the moment was emphasized in the second season, when in an identical situation he suffered a complete failure.
• Corrupt - The school district has spent its entire budget on the purchase of a yacht, resulting in the school having to skimp on electricity, equipment, and school competitions.
• Literal is one of the humorous techniques.
• Not so background music is one of the humorous devices.
• We missed one - .
• Will they or won't they? - a parody of the trope. Brick and Savannah's attempt to flirt with each other left both of them completely disappointed in the possibility of a future relationship.
• The swelling of sequels has fallen victim to The Krill Hunter. The 15th film was shot there! That's why no one watches it except Milo.
• Reference: The Time Monkey with a clock instead of a head references the movie "Robot Monster" and Robovek, who looked like a monkey in a diving helmet.
• In the second season, in the episode about the board game, there is a reference to the film “American Gothic”.

Characters[edit]

Milo Murphy is the main character. The embodiment of Murphy's Law, which states that "anything that can go wrong, will go wrong." Quite an interesting find of the series, which allows you to pile up a bunch of coincidences without causing a failure of suspension of disbelief in the viewer. An incorrigible optimist, he always carries a backpack with things for all occasions. Fan of Zhiromir amusement park, Doctor Zone and Tobias Trollhammer. In the second season, the justification was also brought under Murphy's law - . Plays the accordion. . Melissa Chase is Murphy's classmate and old friend. She has been afraid of roller coasters ever since they fell into her yard. An excellent pupil. Has a touch of enterprise. Doesn't like puns. . Plays the bass guitar. Zach Underwood is Murphy's classmate and new friend who transfers to Milo's school in the first episode of the series. Claustrophobic (as he himself says, claustrophobic) and fish-phobic. . Mort Schaeffer is Murphy's classmate. A good-natured strongman who plays the drums. Amanda Lopez - Milo's classmate and desperate perfectionist

She is in love with Milo, although, as befits perfectionists, she is afraid of his... abilities. Jealous. Bradley Nicholson is Murphy's classmate who loves to be the center of attention, which is why he doesn't like Milo, who regularly attracts attention to himself

Apparently, he is unrequitedly in love with Melissa, but wisely keeps his distance. Arrogant bore. . Chad Van Koff is Milo's classmate. Considers teacher Mr. Draco to be a vampire. Dogs (Diogee Ex Machina), aka “Dog from the Machine”. Milo the dog, who always appears just when his master needs to be saved. Sarah Murphy is Milo's loving sister. Fan of The Doctor Zone Files. Martin Murphy is Milo's father. He also suffers from Murphy's Law, but found a way to monetize it - he became a safety inspector. Bridget Murphy - Milo's mother, an architect. Richard Chase - Melissa's father, fire chief Alien Underwood - Zach's mother, a surgeon. Marcus Underwood is Zach's father. Eliot Decker is a volunteer at a school intersection, the epitome of janitor syndrome. He is passionately in love with safety technology and cannot live without monitoring the safety of those around him. He is afraid of ducks and suffers from them. Tries to minimize the effects of Murphy's Law. He came up with a lot of pretentious names for his position, like “Crossroads Guardian” or “Security Tsar.” He plans to get a job as a school security deputy. He walks around with a stop sign with Milo's name on the back. . Elizabeth Milder is a high school principal. The owner of muscles sufficient to defeat a physical trainer in a duel. Kyle Draco is a high school teacher. Acts like a vampire, but there is no evidence. Otherwise, he is the most adequate among the teaching staff, sincerely loves his students (if he is a vampire, then this sounds rather ambiguous) and forgives them even outright rudeness. Optimist. Volunteer at a used clothing collection point. Miss Murawski is Murphy's homeroom teacher. She loves her table, which she made herself. Nolan Mitchell - physical education teacher. Scott is a subway builder who, with his comrades, was stuck underground for a month and completely lost his mind. After his release he returned to live homeless underground. Considers himself a representative of an underground civilization. Vinnie Dakota - Pistachio Seller, Pistachio Control Agent, etc. Dressed in 1970s style and acts the same. A lover of puns, a cheerful fellow and a lover of philandering at work. . Cavendish's faithful friend... Balthazar Cavendish is Vinnie Dakota's friend and colleague. . Dresses in 1870s style, is a grump and takes his job too seriously. . . Mr. Block. . Brick and Savannah - . Professor Time. . It's him. . . Orton Malson is the creator and main actor of the TV series Dr. Zone. . Tobias Trollhammer is an elderly (at least 60 years old) half-forgotten action actor from the “Krill Hunter” series with pretty weak eyesight. In my youth I tried to act in Doctor Zone, but... Derek - Magnificent bastard, owner of a cool voice and cool appearance.

General effect

If tests of a flawlessly working system are carried out in front of the customer, then it will definitely fail.

It is also known as the “demonstration effect”, “visit effect”, “presence effect”, etc. It implies the impossibility of demonstrating to the audience something that happened without problems without spectators. The more interested the demonstrator is in the success of the demonstration, the stronger this effect is.

A similar effect is known among physicists - the “Pauli effect”. The effect is that in the presence of theoretical physicist Wolfgang Pauli, the equipment stopped working, even if Pauli was interested in its work.