There are many stages when it comes to relationships. You start out as acquaintances, become friends, date, move in and get married.
But according to Barton Goldsmith:
“It's better to date longer and watch someone want to grow than to wish and hope or try to force someone to make the changes you want.”
However, we cannot change the fact that some people are disappointed in those with whom they build relationships. What is the reason for this?
They didn't ask enough questions about the relationship.
So, if you are currently in a relationship, I suggest you ask your partner because it can make a huge difference in your relationship with each other.
Here are 121 relationship questions you can use to get to know your loved one:
Fun Relationship Questions for Couples
If you had one day left to live, what would you do?
Where would you most like to go on holiday?
What would you do if you won $10,000?
What do you like most about me?
What would you like to change about me?
Who did you kiss first in your life?
How would you feel if I made more money than you?
Would you like to stay home with the kids while I work?
What's the craziest dream you've had?
If you could trade lives with anyone, who would it be?
Family and future.
- What kind of family can truly be happy in your opinion? What is its hierarchy and model, features in general?
- At what age do you want to get married/have children? If this is done, don't you think you were in a hurry?
- By what principle do you want to raise your children? Is there a specific model? Is it possible to punish children with spankings/belts?
- Do you think you will be happy with me after 10, 20, 30 years of marriage? Why do you think so?
- Is getting married a sign of deep love and confidence in your choice, or just religious prejudice?
- Is it possible to live happily in love without entering into an official marriage? Would you like to live like this?
- Can spouses live without love and still be happy?
- Does arranged marriage have prospects for development? Would you join such an alliance?
- Is a magnificent wedding a signal of a serious perception of the event and relationship, just a tradition or a waste of time, effort and money?
- Is a prenuptial agreement/contract an ordinary precaution, doubts about the feelings of your spouse, or a sign of dislike and mistrust?
Deep Relationship Questions to Ask Your Lover
If you could choose anyone in the world, who would you like to invite to dinner?
Would you like to be famous? In what type of activity?
Do you ever rehearse what you're going to say before you call?
What would be your ideal day?
When was the last time you sang to yourself? Anyone else?
What would you choose? Live to 90 and retain the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life?
Do you have a secret feeling about when you will die?
Name three things you and your partner (that is, me) have in common.
What are you most grateful for in your life?
Summarizing
Arthur Aron's 36 questions help you feel close to another person. And if you chose each other consciously or on a subconscious level (which our subconscious does not always report to us), then you can fall deeply in love with your partner. The questionnaire seems to turn serious topics into humorous and light ones. By answering these questions, you mutually open up to each other, slowly and gradually.
Answers help you better know not only the other person, but also yourself. Some questions may be quite unexpected. Values, interests, priorities, desires and character traits help to see a deeper image.
Arthur Aron's questionnaire helps two people get closer in a short period of time. You will only need about one hour for the experiment.
The essence of the questions is to gradually open up to the other person. The questions deepen with each subsequent group, while maintaining personal boundaries. The 36 Question Method is a well-designed system based on hundreds of subjects. The important thing is to be open and seek understanding. Success depends on reciprocity. The Arthur Aron Questionnaire is a great way to speed up the rapprochement process.
Do you want to improve communication with your loved ones, colleagues and acquaintances? Take our course, which contains the best communication techniques: family and relationships, dating and maintaining a conversation, negotiations and disputes and many others!
We also recommend reading:
- Storytelling
- How metaphors change the way we think about our own experiences.
- Sternberg's three-part theory of love
- Why ask questions?
- Experiment "Third Wave"
- Marshmallow experiment
- Sue Johnson, The Feeling of Love. A New Scientific Approach to Romantic Relationships"
- Stages of team formation according to Tuckman
- Seven Questions When Creating a Business Strategy
- What is conformity and how to avoid it
- 7 levels of communication according to A. B. Dobrovich
Keywords:1Communications, 1Relationships
Here's Another Set of Questions About Deep Relationships
If you could change anything about your upbringing, what would it be?
Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
If you could wake up tomorrow with one quality or ability, what would it be?
If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, your future, or anything else, what would you want to know?
Is there something you've been dreaming about for a long time? Why didn't you do this?
What is the greatest achievement in your life?
What do you value most in friendship?
What is your most treasured memory?
What's your worst memory?
If you knew that in a year you would suddenly die, would you change anything about your current lifestyle?
What is friendship to you?
Afterword
The questions are formulated in such a way that they cannot be given a short and unambiguous answer. Every time a person has to choose, think, analyze and reveal his soul more and more deeply to his interlocutor. Due to this, a special atmosphere is created.
During the interview, participants get to know themselves and their interlocutor better. They have to expose themselves morally, they become vulnerable, they show their weakness. Therefore, the questionnaire is relevant for already established couples. This is an opportunity to look at each other again, to discover something new, observing the reactions, answers, pauses, and emotions of the partner.
Psychologists note that the method is suitable not only for restoring love relationships, but also for working on friendly feelings.
Relationship Questions to Test Your Compatibility
What is the ideal number of calls a couple should exchange in a day?
Would you sacrifice your happiness for the success of a relationship?
What do you think of a romantic getaway?
What is most important for a successful relationship?
What would you call cheating?
If I cheated on you, would you ever forgive me?
Will you ever apologize to me even if it's not your fault?
Are you friends with any of your exes?
How should finances be distributed between a couple?
Do you think celebrating Valentine's Day is trivial?
Loyalty.
- Do you think a man who truly loves his mate can commit adultery?
- Can you forgive infidelity if it was committed under the influence of alcohol or during a temporary breakup?
- If a person cheated, but sincerely repents of it and does everything to make amends and not repeat such mistakes, will you give him a second chance?
- Where do you think cheating begins - sex, kissing, flirting, or even just thinking about another person?
- Have you ever cheated on your loved one? Why? What stopped/pushed you to do this then?
- If cheating was a one-time mistake that could destroy a happy family, is it worth talking about? Or is it better to remain silent without risking the well-being of the couple?
- Are dreams about sex with other people just dreams, a subconscious desire for variety, or a direct harbinger of betrayal?
- Is it okay to watch pornographic films or masturbate while in a relationship, especially when apart? Or is it offensive?
- Are healthy people with normal physical needs able to live together all their lives without cheating on each other?
- What will you do if, in a long and happy relationship with me, you suddenly want to sleep with another specific person?
Take the compatibility test
Relationship Questions to Strengthen Your Connection with Each Other
How do you know if you love someone?
How did you know that you love me?
Is romantic love the most important love of all?
Do you think that once you love someone, you will ALWAYS love them? Or do you think that love will fade away over time?
What's the first thing you notice about someone when you fall in love with them?
What scares you about love?
Do you believe in love at first sight?
Was it love at first sight for me?
What do you agree with? Should love always be comfortable, or should love always be new and exciting?
What do you think makes people fall out of love?
What makes you fall out of love?
Do you believe that people can change if they love someone?
Do you think knowing whether it's love or not depends on how long you've known the person?
How long do you think it will be before you know you love someone?
Can you love someone after they cheated?
What is considered cheating for you?
What could be worse: emotional or physical?
If you love someone, can you forgive infidelity/betrayal?
When it comes to cheating, should you forgive and forget/forgive but not forget/or not forgive at all?
Do you believe that love changes you?
History of the experiment
American psychologist Arthur Aron devoted a lot of research to the psychology of love. One theory was that just 36 questions would help a man and woman fall in love with each other. An experiment conducted in 1997 confirmed the hypothesis. People who asked each other 36 questions became close, paired up, and later got married.
True, as the psychologist noted, there is one condition. Questions bring together only those people who, consciously or unconsciously, have already chosen each other. That is, the question system is not a love potion or a magic wand. It is a catalyst in the chemistry of love.
And for two decades now, Aron’s method has been very popular. Those who have tried the method on themselves admit that it really works, but they themselves do not understand how it works. Moreover, questions help not only to fall in love for the first time, but also to revive love in long-term relationships, overcome a crisis, rekindle former passion, and restore romanticism.
Priorities.
- What will you choose: spend time with your loved one after work or work longer for the extra time off that will fall on your couple’s working day?
- Where will you go after work, feeling tired - to your friends or to your partner to resolve the conflict that occurred in the morning?
- Should you relax at home together or go to some place together? How specifically would you like to spend your time?
- Confession in pre-prepared, personally written poems or in simple words composed on the fly?
- How important are gifts to you as a way of showing feelings? If a person doesn’t give gifts at all, does that mean that he doesn’t love?
- Would you consider a person more in love if he complimented you often or tried to do more chores around the house?
- Is it better to live with a person you love or who loves you?
- If problems of equal magnitude arise simultaneously in your parents and your couple, who will you go to first?
- Is it important to love yourself or your man/woman more?
- If your child and your loved one get sick at the same time, and the first one has a mild cold, and the second one has a severe cold, who will you care for more?
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Any couple needs time to get to know her and his favorite things. If you don't know everything about your partner yet, there is an opportunity to do it right now: 1. Color 2. Film 3. Actor (actress) 4. Song 5. Book 6. Poem 7. Flower 8. Animal 9. Bird 10. Tree 11. Receive a gift 12. Country 13. City 14. School year 15. Teacher 16. Car 17. Male name 18. Female name 19. Food 20. Dessert 21. Drink 22. Body part 23. Clothes 24. Sports 25. Number 26. Television program 27. Season 28. Day of the week 29. Time of day 30. Holiday 31. Saying 32. Dance 33. Family member 34. Perfume 35. Entertainment Childhood 36. Where were you born? 37. Where did you live as a child? 38. What was your favorite game at home and what was your favorite game outside? 39. Who did you spend most of your time with? 40. What is your most memorable childhood moment? 41. What was your biggest fear (darkness, monsters, etc.)? 42. Who did you dream of being as a child? Is this the case now? Why? 43. What's the funniest thing that happened to you as a child? 44. What was the most sticky situation you found yourself in as a child? 45. What are the significant childhood events that influenced you the most? 46. What is your favorite memory with your mom? 47. What is your favorite memory with your dad? 48. What is your favorite school class and why? 49. What is your favorite school subject? 50. What is your least favorite school subject? 51. What was your favorite toy? 52. Who was your best friend? 53. What toy have you always wanted, but never got? 54. What was your best summer vacation? About You 55. Which animal best matches you? 56. If you could choose any job in the world, what would it be? 57. What would you change in the past if you had the opportunity? 58. If you won a million dollars in the lottery, where would you spend the money? 59. Which cartoon character is closest to you and why? 60. What would you like to devote your life to? 61. If you could get rid of any habit right now, what would you get rid of? 62. If you had one magical ability, what would it be? 63. What three things in your life are you most proud of? 64. What three words can you best describe yourself? 65. What are you most afraid of? 66. What do you do when you are sad? 67. What do you do when you feel angry or upset? Personal beliefs and ideas 68. Do you belong to any religion? 69. Do you believe in fate? 70. Do you believe in love at first sight? 71. What attracts you most in women (men?) 72. What is the difference between love and falling in love for you? 73. Do you think it’s possible to express your feelings in public? And to what extent is it possible? (holding hands, kissing, hugging each other...)? 74. Do you believe in God? 75. Do you believe in an afterlife? 76. Where do you think man came from? 77. Is there life on other planets? 78. What do you think about abortion? 79. Should children live with their parents when they grow up? 80. What is your attitude towards gays and lesbians? 81. How do you feel about harems? 82. How do you feel about the age difference between a man and a woman (the difference is more than 10 years)? 83. Is only love enough for happiness? And is “heaven in a hut” possible? 84. Should a man be present at the birth of a child? 85. Can time heal love's wounds? Dreams and Desires 86. What is your dream home? 87. What is your dream car? 88. Ideal vacation or weekend. What are they? 89. What should an ideal birthday be like? 90. What is your life's dream? 91. Three traits or qualities of you that you would like to improve? 92. What five things/things would you like to do?
1Preferences 95. Do you prefer hot or cold? Why? 96. Are you a night owl or a lark? 97. What irritates you most? 98. Do you prefer cats or dogs? 99. Do you live for today or the future? 100. Your attitude towards smoking. 101. Gossip and rumors... do you like/dislike? 102. Do you like/dislike surprises? 103. Do you like/dislike quiet and peaceful places? 104. Do you like/dislike noisy places? 105. Do you like/dislike ambitions? 106. Rivalry...like/dislike? War of the sexes 107. The advantages of a man in love 108. The advantages of a woman in love 109. A man would be the best “ruler of the earth” because... 110. A woman would be the best “ruler of the earth” because... 111. A man’s greatest fear 112. A woman’s biggest fear 113. What all men like to hear addressed to them... 114. What all women like to hear addressed to them... 115. The best argument for being a man 116. The best argument for being a woman 117. The biggest disadvantage of being a man 118 The biggest disadvantage of being a woman 119. If you had the opportunity to be born a second time and the opportunity to choose your gender, who would you be? Romantic Preferences 120. What is your idea of an ideal date? 121. What is your favorite romantic gesture or act? 122. Ten gifts that you would most like to receive? 123. What is your idea of the perfect romantic gift? 124. What is your idea of a perfect romantic weekend or vacation? 125. In what ways can I support you in difficult times? 126. What do you find so unusual and unique in our relationship? 127. Do you consider yourself romantic? 128. What is true Love to you? 129. Do you believe in the kinship of souls and that every person has their own soul mate on this earth? 130. Is romance an important part of relationships? 131. Do you think true Love can conquer all? Your relationship 132. Do you remember your first meeting in detail? What are your thoughts at this time? 133. Do you remember your first date in detail? What are your thoughts at this time? 134. Do you remember your first kiss? How did you feel and what were you thinking? 135. When did you realize that you loved each other (who realized it first, or at the same time?) 136. Do you remember your first quarrel (your biggest quarrel)? What do you think of her now? Could it happen again? 137. Do you remember the most amazing compliment your partner ever gave you? 138. What character and personality traits do you like most in your partner? 139. What three things can you do to make your relationship better? (so try to make them!) 140. How has your life changed since you met each other. What has changed in yourself for the better? 141. What do you appreciate most about what your partner does for you? 142. How do your differences complement each other? 143. What did you do to get your partner's attention before you got into a serious relationship? 144. Do you like it when the person you love does... 145. Do you like it when the person you love calls you... 146. The most romantic situation between you 147. Do you think your life has become predictable? 148. What should you do to add variety to your life? 149. Why do you want to continue to be together?To be together
150. Sex before marriage. What is your attitude towards him? 151. Should you live together before marriage? 152. Should you always tell the truth, even if it hurts? 153. Why do people get married? 154. Do you believe in marriage for life? What is your attitude towards divorce? 155. The most important thing in a relationship? 156. Can you freely ask me anything you want? 157. What should be the role of a wife in the family? 158. What should be the role of the husband in the family? 159. If you could change anything in our life together, what would it be? 160. If you are unhappy or angry about something, how do you show it? And how can I understand what exactly? 161. If you have problems, do you talk about it openly or keep it to yourself? 162. Do you like to talk about your feelings? 163. How do you feel about my friends of the opposite sex? 164. How do you feel about my past loves? 165. What would you do if it turned out that your loved one was deceiving you? 166. In what cases is divorce possible? Love and money 167. In a family, who should manage money? 168. Should a wife (husband) stay at home with the children? 169. How do you feel about a woman who earns more than a man (has achieved more in her career)? 170. Do you think it's worth saving? 171. Is it worth spending money sometimes? 172. What could you give up to save money? 173. What would you do if your partner was temporarily unable to earn money? What if I couldn’t get a job for a long time? Love and children 174. Do you want children? 175. If yes, how many children do you want? What gender? How to name? 176. How would you raise your children? How are your parents or is it different? 177. Would you punish children? If yes, then how and for what? 178. What is the role of a mother in raising children? 179. What is the role of dad in raising children? 180. What is the possible role of grandparents in raising your children? 181. A man and a woman love each other less after the birth of a child? 182. Don’t you think that having a child puts an end to our lives just for each other? 183. Is it possible to quarrel in front of children? 184. Is it possible to show love for each other in front of children? Where is the border? 185. How would you answer a child’s question: “Where do children come from?” 186. How can we continue our romantic meetings and dates when we have children? 187. What would you tell your children about alcohol, smoking and drugs? Love and sex 188. Is sex important to be a happy couple? 189. What is the difference between “having sex” and “making love”? 190. What aspect of your sexual relationship would you like to improve? 191. Do you feel 100% comfortable in your sex life? Why yes or why not? 192. How important is your partner's sexual history to you? 193. Do you think you know everything about your partner's sexual desires? 194. Do you think variety in sex is important for a long-lasting relationship? 195. What's your favorite foreplay? 196. What is your favorite kiss? 197. What is your favorite sexual position? 198. How do you prefer to be touched, stroked, caressed? 199. What is your favorite way to caress your partner? 200. What is your deepest secret sexual fantasy? 201. Where is your favorite place to make love? 202. What is the most unusual place where you made love? 203. What is your favorite music to play when you make love? 204. What time of day do you like to make love? 205. What do you like to do after making love? 206. Who do you think should take the initiative, a man or a woman? What about hidden initiative? 207. What turns you on most about your partner? 208. If you could change anything about your sex life, what would it be? How do I feel when...
Share with each other your feelings and thoughts in situations when 209. ...are you hugging me? 210. ...I'm late and you have to wait for me? 211. ...are you late and I have to wait for you? 212. ...I convince you of something, but you don’t want to agree with it? 213. ...are you praising me or giving me a compliment? 214. ...do others notice our Love? 215. ...are we holding hands? 216. ...are we making plans together? 217. ...am I buying you a gift? 218. ...are you laughing at me? 219. ...am I reaching out to touch you? 220. ...we are in some kind of competition, for example, playing cards or competing in some kind of sport? 221. ...does it seem to me that I somehow hurt your feelings? 222. ...I hear from others that you “boast” about me? 223. ...do you look at other women (men) with interest? 224. ...are you crying? 225. ...are you feeling unwell? 226. ...we hear “our song”? 227. ...are you asking me to dance with you? 228. ...are you asking me to help you? More favorite things 229. Musical group 230. Music style 231. Love song 232. Board game 233. Word 234. Mythical creature 235. Magazine 236. Scent 237. Month 238. Instant dish 239. Kissing spot 240. Sports 241 Writer 242. Film genre 243. Video game 244. Work of art 245. Museum 246. Park 247. Constellation 248. Tea/coffee 249. Landmark 250. Astrological sign A little more about you
251. What do you like to think about in your free time? 252. What quality in yourself do you value most? 253. What negative quality do you have? 254. What character trait in a person do you consider the most noble? 255. What character trait in a person do you consider the most base? 256. Do you regret anything you did in the past? 257. If there was an opportunity, would you agree to change the events of the past? If so, how would you behave differently? 258. If you were writing a book about yourself, what title would it have? 259. If you had to spend the whole day alone, what would you do? 260. What is your worst situation at work? 261. What is your best situation at work? 262. What irritates you? 263. If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be? 264. What positive thing would you add to the world? 265. What negative thing would you remove from the world? 266. Would you rather own your own company or work for someone else? 267. How important is your career to you? 268. How important is family to you? 269. How do you cheer yourself up if you are upset about something? 270. Do you think that your life is going the way you would like? 271. How much would you rate your achievements in life?