How to answer questions like “how are you”, “what are you doing”, “how are you feeling” and the like, in an original way and with humor, in order to interest a guy or, on the contrary, turn him off.

There used to be a saying that a bore is a person who, in response to the question: “How are you doing,” actually tells how he is doing, and in very detail. Therefore, many tried to answer this question monosyllabically and uninterestingly, without fear of being branded as a person without a creative streak. Saying “Excellent” or “Good” every time is too commonplace. You definitely won’t get into the cohort of witty people with this approach. After all, even such a simple question “how are you?” can be answered with creativity. And here's how.

How to answer the question: “how are you?”

Besides the fact that there is a folk saying “as white as soot,” you can invent something yourself. It all depends on who your interlocutor is, whether you want to continue the dialogue with him or her, or whether you need to cut off the thread of conversation at the moment and run away about your business. By the way, the question can be asked not at all in person, but over the phone, in a chat or on a social network. For such cases, there is another duty “weapon” - emoticons, or symbols of emotions.

1) Answer with humor

A great way to answer this question is to make a joke. Especially when everything is bad - this will show that you do not lose spirit even in the hour of problems.

Here are the options:

Not “good”, but with the same letter. By the way, horseradish is a vegetable, if anything... And it’s very spicy!
Great, can't wait!
What's the matter with such things!
Affairs??? No, I’m not a business person...
Business happens to the one who does something, and I rest!
Let's leave things to the businessmen, and let's go have fun!
Well, what can happen when it’s raining outside (snow, sun, moon, night, 21st century, etc. - depending on the situation).

2) Send emoticons or a funny video

Various versions of emoticons or stickers are perfect for answering this seemingly banal question. Video clips are also suitable, most often no more than a few seconds, with various phrases appropriate to the situation. If you are at the computer, then you can find a thematic demotivator that reflects the whole essence of the problems that are currently pressing for you. For example, a photo of a man on a paraglider landing on a beach infested with crocodiles. You can also find a video quote from the film “Only Old Men Go to Battle” (for those who haven’t watched it, it’s a movie about the Great Patriotic War, about pilots), where one of the heroes, flying on a downed plane, answers on the radio: “Everything is fine, I'm falling!

3) Answer witty and funny

You can remember the same phrase in a telephone conversation if something in your life has really gone wrong.

You can use something close to this:

I'm flying, I just jumped with a parachute. And what? Not noticeable?
Oh, poor, unfortunate me, I’m so tired, because every time I have to come up with an answer to the question “How are you?”
In Africa, children are starving, but everything is fine.
Everything is covered in chocolate, even your cell phone!
Yes, okay, yesterday she received the Nobel Prize for her contribution to the development of the study of grooming and rearing of the laboratory rat, as well as for the discovery of nanotechnology that will help penguins overcome global warming and survive it in Hitler’s secret bunker.
I'm doing great! I look forward to hearing more about my personal life!
Relatively. If you compare it with Marx, then it’s great, if you compare it with a multimillionaire, then not so much.

How to give a guy an original answer to the question “how are you?”

The one person you really want to show off your wit to is the opposite sex. Humor brings people together and disarms them.

These would be great answers:

Good mood, it would be nice to go for a walk, but there are no offers yet.
Amazing. After all, you are communicating with me.
Great, I’m improving in all directions!
Will you join? Guess! Hint: I smile when I talk to you.

When you don’t have the best relationship with a guy, and you want to push him away from you in different ways, you can give one of the following answers:

Constant mood swings, a tugging stomach, tense nerves like a string, and all sorts of other nasty things, in general, PMS. And how are you?
How do you think I'm doing? I was reading my favorite book, and now I had to be distracted because of some people walking around here.
Do you have any good reason to ask me this?

In addition to negative and positive, the answer can be neutral, but at the same time closed. You need to not push the person away from you, and at the same time show that the conversation is inappropriate now:

Everything is fine, beautiful marquise...
I'm doing some soul-searching.
I meditate.

Flirty with flirting

If a girl asks how you are, then hypothetically, instead of answering, you can confess your sympathy or love to her. If there are mutual feelings, such a step will cause delight. If the girl has no desire to share romantic impulses, the conversation will be interrupted before it even begins.

Other flirty responses to the question “How are you?”:

You are the best thing that happened to me all day.
They become more delightful every minute while I look at you.
We weren't very good until you asked.
Don't talk about me. Let's talk about how attractive you are.
All day I think only about you.

How to answer the question “what are you doing?” to interest the interlocutor

Here it is important not only to be known as a witty person, but also to hook and intrigue your interlocutor.

For example, like this:

Right now? I'm answering your question!
And you guess three times! You guessed it - I'm done with the cookie.
I’m talking (online, chatting, etc.) with an intelligent person.

The last answer implies some kind of continuation, like:

Who are you communicating with? (Who is this smart guy?)
With you (You).

"How are you?" — What to say to a guy you like

From this simple question you can inflate an invitation to some action or conversation

Today I have a payday at work, and my mood matches the size of my salary.
I have a bottle of good, Armenian, five-star mood, if only you were around - and everything would be gorgeous.
I want to lift my nose up, but he looks down with a hook...

The first example is intriguing because I want to ask further: “What is your salary?” After this, you can start a long, unobtrusive conversation.

The second example is an open invitation to spend the evening together.

The third answer will indicate that you cannot cheer yourself up, but still try to joke. This is a veiled invitation to action. The guy will have to either entertain you over the phone or offer to go somewhere together.

How to answer your ex-boyfriend’s question “how are you?” in order to hurt him

Such questions from “ex” are not always sincere. Often a guy may want to tease you. And what’s most interesting is that this is done because the “ex” himself feels awkward when meeting you, but wants to show that he is on horseback.

Therefore, you need to answer in such a way as to upset him:

I was in a wonderful mood until I met you, my dear.
Great. What did you think that without you the Earth would stop rotating?
I’m creaking slowly, and quite annoyingly!
I won’t tell you, otherwise you’ll be jealous!
Great, unlike some.
Sorry, I had an autism attack when I saw you.

Let's sum it up

It turns out that the question “How are you?” is universal. It can be asked simply when you want to develop a conversation with an interesting person, or when there are serious suspicions that everything in your interlocutor’s life is really not going well. There are still many situations when it will be appropriate and will allow communication between two people to move from the stage of simple acquaintance to a closer friendship.

The main thing is not to ask this question just for show and to show false concern.

Unfortunately, many people do just this, wanting to show themselves as sympathetic. The question must be asked sincerely. This will be very pleasant for the interlocutor, who will readily respond with good news or share his experiences.

How to answer a stranger’s question: “how are you?”

They say that this method of communication or dating is common in the USA, but our people are not so liberated, and some still consider ordinary street dating bad manners. And if you don’t think so yourself, then you may simply not like the person you’re talking to who just dropped on your head out of nowhere.

Then you can “shave it off”:

What are you talking about?
Which ones exactly?
So, can you help?
What do you think?
Why do you need my business?
Absolutely nothing;
I'm doing my homework, I can't be distracted.
Sorry, but I'm busy;
Working;
I'm watching a movie;
How are you?
Why do you want it?
Is this really important for you to know?
I’m thinking about how to get rid of an annoying interlocutor.

It’s good to answer something in rhyme:

Not a bump on the head!
I bought some pants!
Like a church mouse!
We drank all the money.

Cool answers to banal questions

In addition to the question “How are you?”, there are several more banal questions that you have to face almost every day. And if questions of this kind bother you with their triviality, then you can diversify everything with the help of answers.

1) How are you doing?

I am like Mars - there is no life, but everything is on fire.
But things have already passed by.
Some have it worse.
What's going on? Everything has already been handed over to the investigative committee.
I feel like a zebra.
Nothing has changed since yesterday's meeting.
Everything seems to be great, but, unfortunately, no one is jealous.
Life hits you over the head with a monkey wrench.
I'm like a button - every time - in a loop.
“That’s bad” (and let them guess where the mistake is).

2) What do you do?

I draw American presidents.
I am hiding from Scotland Yard workers in the underground organization of Freemasons.
I spit at the ceiling and try to dodge.
I envy you with black envy.
I am growing above myself.
I print money on a printer.
I count the bribes, sitting behind the thick curtains.
I'm investigating the brutal murder of a huge fly in the student cafeteria.
I cleanse the aura of my phone book from evil spirits.
I am answering your text message.

3) How is life young?

Yes, just like the old one.
Oh, it’s not a young life anymore.
It sings, blooms and smells.
How about your old one?
When I return to my youth, I will tell you.
My life sent greetings to yours.
Getting younger every day.
I'll ask her now.
Yesterday I asked her, she says it’s not bad.
Yes, she somehow passed by, leaving me the old one.

4) What's personal?

Everything is fine (in rhyme).
I'm going on the offensive.
Many of you were killed.
Not calm.
Like in a fairy tale: the further you go, the scarier it gets!
Intense battles are taking place.
Indecent (again in rhyme).
The enemy is running.
The horizon is clear.
Came out the winner.

5) What's new?

What do you remember from the old days?..
Here, I bought bread...
I grow, bloom, get old, everything is as usual.
I met you here
It seems the rain is starting…
So you can’t tell right away...
It seems that a dictator came to power, but I don’t remember in which country.
I don’t know, probably another season of Santa Barbara.
275 puppies were born in the world.
The moon seems to have lost its course...

I've been better. - I've been better.

In Orange Is the New Black, one inmate wonders about the well-being of another.

How does it go?

I've been better.

If I tell you it gets easier, does that make me corny?

Makes you a lie.

Translation

- How are you? - I've been better. - If I say it will make you feel better, will it sound trite? - It will sound false.

Another version of the phrase is I have seen better days.

What to ask instead of “how are you?”

How are you doing?
What's up?
Like at home?
How are things going, really?
What are you doing?
How was your day?
What happened at work (school)?
What did you do today?
What are your plans for the future?
How are you (yourself)?

All these questions also fall into the category of banal ones. They can be asked to any person, even a stranger. But if you want to show concern for someone, then you need to ask the person exactly what he is living with now. If you are studying, then ask a question regarding school, college, or institute. If you communicate with a young parent, then you need to ask how the child is. Conversations about babies can be truly endless. The only thing that can compete with this topic is a conversation about pets, because they are like children to us.

Passionate people have their own inexhaustible topics: theater, photography, literature, fine arts, dancing, electronics, cars, fishing, football... The main thing is to know what a person is passionate about, and to be at least a little in the subject. And then everything will work out!

Not that great. - Not so great.

In the series Friends, Rachel asks her sister about her business.

So how's the baby-styling business going?

Not that great. It's almost as if people don't want to hear that their babies are ugly.

Translation

— How are you doing as a children's stylist? - Not so great. It's like people don't like hearing that their kids are ugly.

There are other variations of this phrase: not so well, not doing that great.