Narcissist Man: 80 Signs You'll Look for a Narcissist!

Who is he, a narcissist?

If you think your boss, partner, or significant other has narcissistic or paranoid traits, this list will help confirm or refute your suspicions. It includes the main characteristics of narcissistic and paranoid personality disorder, which are manifested in a person's behavior and psychological state.

By reading this article to the end, you will be able to quickly identify narcissists in your environment, and based on the list below, you will be able to make the right decisions in your relationship with them.

Narcissism - what is it?

There is a lot said about narcissism.
Narcissistic egoists are interesting for their psychology and this is constantly discussed on the RuNet. What attracts these arrogant and insufferable people? What is it about them that makes us talk about it for many years? It’s a paradox, but many are attracted to such people, however, when they come closer, they begin to understand that behind the shine of tinsel lies an insecure person. There are often cases when, having once tried to morally gut his beloved, a man “gets the taste” and cannot stop.

So what is it - a mental disorder or a congenital trait? How does narcissism manifest itself, how dangerous is it for others, and are there ways to get rid of it?

The Legend of the Narcissus Boy

It so happened that one beautiful nymph happened to fall in love with this extraordinary young man, but she could not count on reciprocity on his part, and he only ridiculed the beauty in love, doing it in an insulting and rude manner.
He couldn’t get away with such a “prank”, because in those ancient times love was considered a great feeling, and ridicule of it was classified as a sin. For this reason, the no less beautiful goddess Aphrodite punished the proud, handsome man for such a grave sin.

And it happened as follows - while hunting on a hot day, Narcissus decided to drink water from a stream, and suddenly he saw the face of a charming young man in the water surface, and immediately fell in love with him.

Of course, each of us understands that his own reflection was looking at him, but Narcissus could not take his eyes off the beautiful vision and, intending to kiss him, with wild passion he fell and fell to the water surface. He should have gotten up and left, but the young man had neither the strength nor the desire to do so.

Ultimately, the matter ended as it should have ended, the beautiful young man died, and his divinely built body disappeared, but in this place a flower, no less beautiful, bloomed, which, as is already clear, received the name - narcissus.

The Greeks called it the flower of death, and therefore such bouquets were never presented as gifts to loved ones.

Prevention of possible disease in childhood

In order to avoid manifestations of narcissism in an adult, its prevention must be addressed from early childhood, namely from the age of 3. At the age of 3, the child begins to recognize himself as an independent person, and not part of his mother or father. It is at this age that the basic personality traits of a person are formed.

What can parents do for their child so that he grows up to be a healthy person?

It is necessary to respect the interests and preferences of the baby and see him as an independent person. Already in early childhood, personality inclinations and characteristics appear.
The child’s opinion, which he expresses when discussing family or personal issues, should be taken into account. A little person should be able to think and reason, and not perceive the words of his mother and father as an immutable truth.
You always need to answer the questions that a child has, no matter how complex they may be. This is how parents show interest in the child’s personality and help correct his knowledge in the right direction.
By personal example, parents show their child what is good, and vice versa. In relationships, you should adhere to the limits of what is permitted to the parents themselves and clearly limit them for the child.
The child should be praised and encouraged for good deeds and successes. At the same time, in case of wrong actions, love for him cannot be limited. Following manifestations of love only after the child’s actions that are positive, from the parents’ point of view, is a traumatic situation for his psyche. Parents' love can only be unconditional.
From childhood, the child’s communication skills with other children should be developed, a tolerant attitude towards people should be taught, and acceptance of everyone with shortcomings and weaknesses should be taught.
You should not compare your child with other children, praise or, conversely, set anyone as an example.

If you follow the listed rules, then the child will not have a basis for the formation of narcissism. The self-esteem of such a person will be adequate, and the message will take root in the mind that a person can be loved regardless of what interests and inclinations he has, what he looks like and what he dreams of.

Narcissism: reasons for its appearance

Psychologists see the cause of such a pathology and disease in the childhood of a narcissistic person, because each of us is born into the world not yet possessing the ability to love anyone, including ourselves, and this is explained by the fact that a newborn is not endowed with any holistic understanding neither in relation to the surrounding world, nor in relation to oneself.
Only later does the baby begin to learn all this, in particular, he does this through parental love.

And when the baby notices that he is becoming the “center of the universe” for his loved ones and understands that “the whole world revolves around him,” then this state is called natural (primary) narcissism.

We are all selfish and narcissistic, the main thing is that this does not become a way of life. Disana Kumykova

Over the years, a gradual expansion of the child's horizons occurs, and the baby begins to realize the fact that the world is much larger, and there are, in general, a huge number of people in it; at the same time, he comes to the realization that his ability to love, as well as part of the energy reserve, he will have to distribute it among a larger number of people around him.

But in the case when a person is not capable of such “sacrifices,” then we can already talk about “secondary” narcissism, which allows us to draw conclusions about the presence of a personality disorder.

Antiquity

Narcissism, coldness, death in youth. The sweet and intoxicating aroma of the flower, which induces madness, symbolizes the result of narcissism and vanity. Dedicated to Narcissus, Demeter, Nemesis, Selene and Hades. Flower of the kingdom of the dead Hades - Pluto, Erinyes - goddesses of vengeance. By the way, daffodils crowned the heads of Parok - goddesses of fate. Narcissus flowers were associated with secret ceremonies dedicated to the cult of Demeter in the Eleusinian and Greek mysteries. Hades-Pluto tried to intoxicate Cora with the smell of daffodils, in order to then drag her into his underground kingdom.

Persephone was picking daffodils when the chariot of the god Hades burst out of the ground and took her to the underworld. Narcissus was used in rituals dedicated to the goddess Demeter; it was depicted on tombstones, symbolizing the idea that death is just a dream

Criminals sentenced to death in Roman possessions sacrificed daffodils to the Furies (the same Greek Erinyes - goddesses of vengeance); the condemned were crowned with daffodils, which produced a certain narcotic effect and slightly alleviated the agony of crucifixion.

How narcissism manifests itself: signs

Imagine an outwardly attractive (with charisma) and successful man in life.
As a rule, such people really achieve a lot and are extremely popular among women. In general, their life can be described as successful. And it doesn’t matter at all that the desire for power “drives” them more than others; they are deeply confident in their personal characteristics and constantly demand respect for their person. Note that this can manifest itself in a mild form or go to extremes, where the pathology is already visible to the naked eye.

To conquer the world, you will agree that these qualities alone are not enough. You need to have a number of characteristics, be smart and work hard. The narcissist doesn’t like to do the latter; his tendency to exploit the labor of others is well noted. Gossip, squabbles, bullying - all these are his favorite hobbies.

Oddly enough, envy is not alien to him, although it would seem that there could be some reason for it. Given the success of narcissists, this feeling should be more likely to manifest itself in his rivals or people who consider themselves unfairly undervalued. And here lies one of the pitfalls of the well-being of a vain egoist.

The whole point is that the narcissist does not know spiritual harmony. It's hard to find balance when you're constantly influencing other people's opinions. It will be a complete collapse for him if those around him find “compromising evidence” on him and recognize him as a complete nonentity. In his mind, he must always be ideal, although he himself understands well that this is simply impossible.

Psychologists believe that this is one of the main reasons that makes a narcissist devalue other people's victories. With such actions they seek to insure themselves so that the successes of their opponents cannot overshadow their own, which are always not enough for them. This explains their apparent complacency; in fact, it is a mirage.

Popular varieties

Various varieties of daffodils were obtained as a result of many years of work by breeders. The first hybrids of these plants were created back in the 18th century. Today, flower growers can choose from 12 thousand varieties to suit their taste. The most commonly bred species are:

"Victoria"
. The flower, approximately 9 cm in diameter, is located almost vertically. The petals are cream, with a wavy edge, the tube is yellow.
"Easter Bonnet" . A flower over 10 cm in size with white petals and a corrugated tube.
"Mount Hood" . The petals and tube are soft cream, but over time the tube becomes completely white. The diameter of the flowers is 12 cm. This variety is very resistant to adverse weather conditions.
"Rembrandt" . The flowers are golden in color, large, up to 10 cm. They have a weak aroma.
"White Triumphant" . It has white flowers and a fawn colored tube with ruffled edges.
"Confuoco" . Large creamy yellow daffodils about 12 cm in diameter. The height of the plant reaches half a meter.
"Orange Monarch" . A very beautiful variety with a bright orange crown with a wavy edge.
"Champagne" . The flower is white, the crown is creamy-pink, the stem reaches a height of 60 cm.
"Pink Glory" . Has a strong aroma. The crown is pure pink.
"Amor" . A cream-colored flower with a diameter of up to 11 cm. The crown is yellow, with orange corrugated edges.
"Gay Challenger" . Double flowers with a diameter of approximately 10 cm. Look great in bouquets.
"Texas" . A beautiful, rather large double flower, the greenish-yellow lobes of which alternate with orange ones.
"Geranium" . Small white flowers collected in inflorescences of 3-5 pieces. The crown is bright orange.

Whatever variety of flowers is chosen for planting, it will certainly please the gardener after germination and will look beautiful both on the site and in the design of bouquets.

How to recognize a narcissist?

Do you see a self-confident egoist talking about how wonderful he is?
It doesn't have to be a narcissist. Narcissism, contrary to popular belief, does not mean falling in love with oneself. What is narcissism? This is an exaggeration of one's sense of self-importance. The narcissist believes that he has many unique talents that set him apart from others. The situation is so serious that it defines it as a personality disorder. Such a person is absorbed in fantasies about his success, fame and power. Most often these are just fantasies.

Uncertainty

The narcissist collects fantasies about his strength in his head, expecting confirmation of this strength from his loved ones, partners, friends, and leaders. The narcissist is very hurt when he is criticized in any way. If his actions do not provoke reactions and comments, he feels as if he has lost his footing. He has a huge need for admiration.

Narcissist at work

It is in work that a narcissist can build his own world in which he will feel omnipotent.
Completing responsibilities quickly increases the narcissist's own importance in his own eyes. He begins to feel uncomfortable if he falls out of professional activities. He begins to feel like he is nobody. Closes off from the world, and apparent self-confidence decreases. A person with a personality disorder enjoys repeating patterns in which they feel confident. Areas in which it has a certain, own position and authority. And this reduces the risk of failure, which the narcissist tolerates very poorly.

Does not perceive others

The narcissist perceives others instrumentally. You need other people for constant comparison with yourself. Constantly checks to see if there is anyone better or smarter than him. Has the best achievements in work. Or he tells jokes that make his friends laugh louder. The narcissist lives in constant tension, which is very tiring for him. The narcissist has problems engaging in conversation because he constantly analyzes how he looks compared to others, and if he hasn’t done something, then this is a hole in his absolute uniqueness.

Lives in a world of extremes

The narcissist feels that he either can do everything or is a complete zero.
Either the world belongs to him and he controls the situation completely, or he has no influence on anything. Lives in reality black or white. He misses other colors. Does not recognize his strengths and weaknesses. He cannot admit to himself that he is very good in one area, but not in another. One day he impresses people, the next he is closed off from others. It is clear that he is experiencing something in his own thoughts. The next day, he surprisingly actively seeks contact with other people, encourages their common experiences, including even extreme ones. He wants to feel special. Thirsts for experiences that will prove that he is one of a kind.

Wears a mask

The narcissist at the very beginning, during the first contact, seems to be the life of the party.
However, this is usually only a first impression. Low self-esteem is carefully hidden behind the mask of falling in love with oneself and one’s abilities, capabilities, and skills. Where does this come from? The simplest answer: since childhood. Look closely at a child who is several years old or several months old. Do you have the impression that he is the center of the universe? When such a child grows older and can speak, he expresses his opinion without a shadow of hesitation. Most often this happens at the expense of parents or other loved ones.

An egoist who talks about his successes cannot be a narcissist. Rather, he is simply a confident person who loves to be the center of attention. A narcissist is a moody person who makes a good first impression and then fails to maintain a relationship.

How to deal with this? The advice that psychologists give can be valuable for each of us, even if we do not see signs of narcissism in ourselves. So what to do? Avoid comparing yourself to other people. Repeat to yourself that there are always people less talented, less resilient, less smart, less attractive than you. Try to become better yourself.

Other characteristic narcissistic types

Romantic
– asserts himself by seducing others. Skillfully deceives to achieve the desired goal.
Morally unstable
- a person who likes to manipulate and dominate others, while he himself is far from the rules of morality.
Highly sensitive
is the most humane type of narcissism. Lack of strong self-confidence, timid behavior and avoidance of bad situations.
Inverted
is a non-standard type that acts in reverse. His main desire is to be near a brighter and more successful person.

Why is this happening?

One of the main problems of narcissists is that they cannot adequately evaluate themselves.

.
Their very high self-esteem is combined with enormous self-doubt
, even to the point
of self-hatred
.
They are characterized by an equally enormous sense of shame
- much more pronounced than that of other people.
Accordingly, in order to “override” these negative feelings, the narcissist needs confirmation that he is the best and that everything he does is great. His sense of his own superiority, belief in his exclusivity, etc. are also connected with this. - all this prevents the “black hole” of his problematic self-esteem from swallowing him
.

Similarly, shifting blame becomes a defense mechanism.

. If a narcissist feels that he has made a mistake or done something wrong (even if it is about something insignificant), he is overcome by strong negative feelings - shame, anger, self-hatred. Accordingly, shifting the blame avoids this. As a rule, the person with whom the situation is directly related is “assigned” to blame.

For example, if a daffodil breaks someone's cup, it is because the owner left it hanging halfway over the edge of the table. If you are late for a meeting with friends, it is because they never arrive anywhere on time. And of course, the classic: “I’m hitting you because dinner is poorly prepared / the children are yelling / the cat is not fed” (typical of perverted narcissists, which we will talk about in the next article).

Sometimes the “excuses” with which the narcissist whitewashes himself are contrary to logic, but this does not matter to him, because his goal is to avoid admitting his mistake

and the following shame, hatred, etc. Sometimes any aspect of character, appearance, behavior, etc. that causes the narcissist to feel insecure or ashamed is transferred to other people.

For example, insecurity in one’s appearance is compensated by carefully monitoring fashion trends, purchasing branded clothing and accessories, using expensive cosmetics, etc. At the same time, other people may be perceived as bad-looking individuals who do not take care of themselves, in whom narcissists are able to notice the slightest flaws in appearance . Plus, let’s not forget that exquisite, brand new outfits and interesting accessories are one of the easy ways to receive compliments and admiration from others.

If you criticize the narcissist, imply that his behavior is wrong, force him to admit his mistakes, or otherwise (consciously or not) try to activate the “dark side” of his inner self, the narcissist may become aggressive.

, including direct or passive, verbal or physical. This is also one of the protective mechanisms, but it does not make it any nicer/safer for others.

Modern narcissism

Of course, it cannot be said that modern narcissists in all their parameters correspond to the mythical hero; this is not the case, at least even in relation to their external data, and the very concept of narcissism is no longer perceived so unambiguously and has more than one interpretation, with which we and let's introduce you.
Of course, more often than not this word is associated with narcissism, which does not recognize any other opinions from the outside.

There is also an opinion, which has a psychiatric orientation, that narcissism is nothing more than a banal personality disorder, in which all the sensual energy of a certain person is directed only at himself, and in no way at anyone around him.

And many scientists and psychiatrists even believe that narcissism is a mental illness for which a person needs to be treated.

Narcissism in each of us

Of course, in fairness, it should be said that a certain amount of narcissism is characteristic of each of us, when in the depths of our souls the stability of our own self-image remains and in order for such a feeling to be preserved, we must remember (but without specifically remembering anything) about happy childhood years when we grew up in tenderness and affection, with a feeling of complete security, which was provided by our parents and other loved ones.
If a child in childhood experienced a lack of attention, love and care from his parents, then subsequently one should not be surprised at the presence of narcissism.

But, as a rule, under the mask of narcissism hides a very vulnerable and lonely person.

What is it like to be around a narcissist?

The narcissist has a strong need for close, accepting relationships - the kind that he was never able to build with his own parents. However, such a relationship with him is impossible. Firstly, because the narcissist is afraid to open up and trust, because in childhood, when he was open and vulnerable, his “I” was destroyed by inattention, ignorance, and humiliation from loved ones. Secondly, because for real intimacy a meeting of two “I”s is necessary, but the narcissist’s “I” is alienated from himself, instead of him he feels only emptiness, therefore a meeting with him is impossible.

The partner suspects the existence of a certain true “I” and wants to get to it, which is why narcissists are so attractive. However, without psychotherapy, few people manage to “reach out” to him. The narcissist’s partner is forced to give his love, warmth and care as if into an empty barrel, only occasionally receiving tenderness and gratitude in return, but more often - depreciation and dissatisfaction.

Desperate to receive all-encompassing love (and this can only be maternal love), the narcissist begins to seek at least recognition. For this, he does not need close relationships, but needs fans. An endless change of admirers or admirers is where, as a rule, the narcissist stops. At some point, he is ready to exchange love for admiration, leaving his loving partner in deep depression.

Why are there so many narcissists around us?

Is this a new cultural norm, the consequences of upbringing, or is the whole point that we simply began to pay more attention to them?
Narcissistic people... We meet them every day. This could be our boss, spouse or colleague. Under the beautiful name hides a very unpleasant personality: self-centered and fixated only on himself. Why are there more and more people like this around us? Is this a new fashion trend?

In an interview with the APS Observer, psychologists W. Keith Campbell and Jean M. Twinge explain the apparent increase in the number of people we call narcissists, and experts call them people suffering from narcissistic personality disorder. They argue that culture is partly to blame.

Studies of the disorder show that Americans in their 20s are three times more likely to suffer from this scourge than those over 60. Comparisons of people of the same age but from different decades also show a sharp increase in the incidence of narcissists.

Looking for evidence that we are living in an era of endemic selfishness, researchers are discussing some of the consequences of such widespread narcissism. Young people nowadays are mainly interested in achieving success, making a fortune and getting their share of fame. They are not averse to improving their appearance through cosmetic surgery, and they have high levels of self-esteem and low levels of empathy.

But how can culture contribute to the growth of narcissism?

In particular, it is media that emphasizes the individual.
Social networks also play a significant role. It is these means that push a person to tell “everything about himself.” Other cultural factors cited by the researchers include how modern parents encourage children to be unique. Another factor that can cause a child to grow up to be a narcissist is over-parenting.

Just look how many overprotective parents there are around! Moreover, excessive concern for the younger generation concerns not only children and schoolchildren, but even students of vocational educational institutions - colleges and institutes.

Narcissism becomes a hallmark of those in high-level leadership positions. And if we admire leaders who feel like the center of the universe, we ourselves begin to follow their example, because it seems to us that people who know their worth are always one step ahead.

Of course, the point may also be that we tend to notice such selfish behavior in other people and rush to label them as selfish. This creates the feeling that an “epidemic of narcissism” is raging in the world.

What can help?

Regardless of whether the “plague of selfishness” is actually sweeping the planet or we just think so, there is an antidote to narcissism: compassion.
Focusing your attention on other people, the willingness to understand someone else's life situation, the emotions and problems of the people around them - this is the cure for this scourge. Despite the feeling that we are living in the height of narcissism, there are other cultural elements in our society that can be called its “antidote.” Young people are becoming increasingly concerned about social problems and injustice. How to stop focusing your attention only on yourself? Turn your attention to your neighbor and help him. Empathy and caring for others is the key to getting rid of self-centeredness.

"Disease" of our time

Each era has its own “diseases of the soul.”
At the beginning of the 20th century, typical patients of a psychoanalyst (for example, Freud) were people with a hysterical personality structure; in the middle of the 20th century, problems of the “schizoid” spectrum became widespread, and now modern psychotherapists agree that it is narcissism that is becoming epidemic (in the opinion of N. McWilliams). Our society is obsessed with self-esteem, and the obsession with selfies is clear evidence of this. Society broadcasts unrealistic standards (to be smart, rich, athletic, young and much more at the same time) by which people evaluate themselves. Failure to live up to these ideals leads to a severe blow to a person's self-esteem, causing depression and addictive behavior. Social networks, in turn, allow you to build narcissistic defenses around your unstable self. Here a person can filter information about himself and demonstrate only the desirable aspects of life. Thereby supporting the myth of one’s own “impeccability.”

Narcissist in relationships

Because of his uniqueness, the narcissist is incapable of sincere close relationships.
For him, the partner is perceived as a reflection of his own person. Of course, he wants to see only the best qualities in his other half. All novels begin with enthusiasm, which quickly changes to disappointment and the desire to change the partner to suit your taste. Moreover, the narcissist is absolutely not concerned about the mood of his chosen one; the main thing here is his principles. It is for this reason that romances with narcissists are more likely to be unhappy.

Keep in mind that it is not possible for him to relax and just be himself, like a mere mortal.

Such a person can be tolerated by an equally severe neurotic, but for others he is too cold and uncomfortable. The schizoid personality type communicates well with narcissists. In such a relationship, the narcissist is calm and confident in his interactions with the external environment. And the “schizoid” protects their internal union.

China

Since the narcissus blooms on Chinese New Year, there it has become a symbol of joy, good luck and a happy marriage (the latter is also characteristic of other Eastern countries). The white daffodil is often used in China as an analogue to the lily. The image of a bowl with pine and plum tree branches, as well as daffodils, means a wish for unfading life, love, happiness and peace.

Self-reflection and self-respect, and good luck next year.

For the Chinese, the daffodil (xu-jian), or water immortelle, symbolizes a couple in love (like an orchid), and if it blooms on New Year's Eve, it symbolizes happiness in the coming year.

In China, the daffodil is called “watery and immortal” and acts as a symbol of the New Year and happiness. China is not its homeland, but was introduced there by Arab traders and has played a role in flower tales since the Middle Ages. Thanks to the sound play on words, the images with daffodil, stone and bamboo mean: “The eight immortals wish for a long life.”

Love for a narcissist

It has long been known to everyone that narcissistic people love only themselves.
They only care about their own ego and appearance. They strive to surround themselves with people who will make their intelligence and beauty seem like perfection. But in fact, according to experts, those people who suffer from narcissism are those whose self-esteem is too low. That is why they do not allow themselves to love to the fullest, they lie, and shun responsibility. Most often, they live secluded lives; communication with people of a lower level, as it seems to them, is alien to them. But, no matter what, everyone wants to be loved, including narcissists. To love a person who is busy only with himself, you need to have a lot of courage, to find in him those qualities that will ultimately be a reason to stay close to him. A person who loves a narcissist must be willing to fully share his interests. But one should not completely indulge his whims. First of all, you need to find a way to improve the narcissist's self-esteem. Just don't say he's a great artist if he's not. A person must understand that the world does not revolve around his person, there are smarter and more beautiful people.

Unfortunately, many narcissists share the habits of young children. They are also offended if they are told that “you can’t do that” and can fall into melancholy if the collar of your shirt is not ironed enough. Such people require constant attention from others, without thinking that their company may be unpleasant or undesirable.

Tactful citizens will be able to delicately show the narcissist in his place, most likely, he will understand that there is a time and place for everything. But rudeness and rudeness can do a disservice to a proud person: knowing about his exclusivity, he can become depressed if he is told that God is much higher.

Another dangerous trait of narcissism is envy. Proud people envy the most insignificant successes of those around them: a new hairstyle that favorably emphasizes their appearance, an organizer in a modern design, and if his – the narcissist’s – career moves slower than that of his colleagues, this completely causes rage, which will very soon develop into dirty tricks.

The problem of narcissism must be looked for in childhood. Perhaps my mother didn’t like it, perhaps my grandmother over-praised me. To understand such a person, you need to talk to him for a long time. Narcissists enjoy talking about themselves. Those who are nearby and want to stay with them for a long time need to catch the moment at which “the program failed,” the moment when narcissistic people decided to become one. Yes, that’s exactly what we decided due to life circumstances. No one is born a narcissist, they are made by their loved ones and circumstances.

Of course, a proud person does not always talk only about himself and his abilities. But at every opportunity they emphasize their exclusivity. That is why you need to remain patient and learn to share the views of the narcissist. In any case, such people have many positive qualities that they themselves are not aware of. The task of loved ones is to show them all the best that can be in representatives of such citizens.

Causes of Narcissistic Disorder

So, all people have a narcissistic trait, but not everyone becomes a narcissist in the full sense of the word - vain egoists who think only about themselves.

The totality of the causes of this disorder can be divided into two groups:

Genetic factor - a child is already born with a brain structure in which the ability for empathy and emotional regulation is absent.
In this case, the part of the brain responsible for the functions described above is poorly developed (lack of gray matter in the anterior insula). And if parents do not correct this feature with their upbringing, then their offspring will grow up to be a narcissist.
Features of education:
excessive admiration for the baby (not a scrawl, but a masterpiece, no less!), overprotection, permissiveness, suggestion of his uniqueness. In such conditions, the child grows up as the “navel of the earth”, he is not taught normal communication - to think about others, sympathize, support, and the limits of his capabilities are not indicated.
He really believes in his exclusivity, his specialness, and gets used to being worshiped as a deity. With this worldview, he enters the adult world, where he then begins to have problems in communication;
lack of parental love , coldness, unavailability of adults.
The child suffers from a lack of love, attention, physical contact, and respect. He begins to fantasize about how he could win their favor: he imagines himself strong, brave, omnipotent. “If I become like this, mom and dad will definitely love me” is a protective idealization. Such a kid usually studies well, earns a lot in the future, dresses himself in the best outfits, and his hairstyle is hair to hair. And all this in order to achieve the recognition that he was deprived of as a child.

Ideally, a child should feel needed and significant, feel the love and care of adults. But at the same time, it is important to convey to him that there are other people - with their own needs and desires.

The examples of upbringing presented above represent two opposite extremes, guided by which parents disfigure their offspring on a mental level, dooming them to mental suffering in adulthood.

It is important to note that there is no cure for narcissistic disorder. The maximum that such a person can do for himself is to undergo psychological therapy in order to learn to manage his behavior and experience mood swings easier and more comfortably.

What to do if your boyfriend is a narcissist?

Self-love is an integral trait of human character.
Narcissism is in many ways different from a strong sense of self. Narcissism is primarily a personality disorder, manifested in vanity, selfishness, and inflated self-esteem, which requires correction by specialists. It is interesting that such people often reach significant heights in politics, finance and other areas; they are often creative individuals.

What should a girl do if her boyfriend is a narcissist?

If you notice a young man frequently admiring himself in the mirror, taking photographs (selfies), videotaping, expressed indifference to the problems of other people - these are clear signs of the behavior of a narcissist.
If you don’t see any particular problem with this, then you shouldn’t worry about this “interesting trait” of a man. We are all a little narcissistic. It’s a different matter when a young man is so convinced of his uniqueness, special position and superiority that he goes beyond the bounds of permissibility and decency. Absorbed in his successes, with an inflated opinion of his talents and achievements, he sometimes does not see real problems, believing that they should be solved by himself or by “inferior” people.

In most cases, if a girl values and respects herself, the true manifestation of the narcissist’s nature will certainly begin to irritate her, naturally, if you are not like your other half. Due to the fact that such individuals themselves are practically not motivated to undergo treatment, considering that it is in the order of things to be proud of their work and conquered heights, you will need a reserve of patience.

It is very difficult to convince a “unique” and “significant” person who expects unquestioning obedience from those around him. Feeling shame and humiliation, the narcissist will never ask for help. By having a conversation with your favorite flower and convincing that such behavior is not good, you will be able to provide all possible assistance in resolving the issue and eliminating problematic issues from the relationship.

What signs define a narcissist?

Narcissism is a personality state that can be easily identified by its characteristic features.

The main feature of a narcissist is narcissism and inflated self-esteem, vanity and selfishness, and emphasized elitism. Communicating with such a person is not comfortable, life is difficult, making friends is impossible.

There are also positive signs of a narcissist. Such people often achieve significant success in social life; they know how to set goals and realize them. They are able to approach assigned tasks creatively and achieve positive results in solving them. Among famous and media personalities, the percentage of narcissists is very high.

Narcissism in men manifests itself in building a career and material wealth. However, the results achieved do not give a feeling of joy and peace, the narcissist feels empty. By his 40th birthday, a person realizes that he has not achieved the required perfection; he realizes that he needs love and warmth, which he did not receive.

Narcissistic women are overly concerned with their appearance, are afraid to leave the house not in “full dress,” and subject themselves to numerous cosmetic procedures. Mothers of narcissists tend to be authoritarian, demanding that their children conform to their own ideals and expectations.

If two narcissists create a couple or get married, then such a relationship will not be calm. Each partner will pull the blanket on themselves, and nagging and criticism will become constant companions in life.

Below are characteristics of a narcissistic personality by which they can be recognized.

So, a narcissist is a person who

Not interested in other people's feelings.
Denies own anger or anger.
Often indicates to others that he is overly emotional.
Depreciates the achievements and external data of others.
He believes that everyone is jealous of him.
He himself is envious.
Too concerned about how others see him.
Loves demonstrative behavior.
Wants to evoke admiration and worship from others.
Extremely ambitious and focused on competition.
Communicates with people contemptuously and condescendingly.
He perceives any remark addressed to him as a malicious insult.
Likes to make fun of, put down, lower the self-esteem of others.
Compares himself with others.
Confident in his own talent and uniqueness.
Considers most people to be “gray mass.”
Unable to “read” the emotions and mood of others.
If he falls in love, he quickly cools down, since the object of desire is always idealized, but instantly devalued.
Manipulates people, forcing them to act according to their own desires.
Doesn't know how to conduct a dialogue, interrupts, imposes his point of view.
Does not give a chance for personal opinion and action, requires unlimited devotion.
Looks impenetrable and confident.

Perhaps the main sign of narcissism is a person’s floating self-esteem. A person, depending on the situation, considers himself either a genius or a complete loser.

How to get rid of narcissism?

Although such people are rightly attributed to cruelty and tyranny, this does not mean that any representative of this type is capable of such things. There are people who understand that they deeply offend their loved ones and bring a lot of difficulties to themselves.

Can narcissism be cured?

There is no universal remedy for getting rid of this “illness”, but there are options for getting out of this condition.
It all depends on the degree of desire of the patient, one’s own personality and type. If you notice some traits of narcissism in yourself, consult a specialist. Only with a close relationship with a doctor is it possible to find a way out of this situation.

If you want to say goodbye to narcissism on your own, follow these simple tips:

Take care of yourself, try to believe in yourself and not depend on other people’s opinions, so as not to become a victim of manipulation.
The surefire remedy is to learn to love yourself in a new way. In this case, all that is required is to perceive yourself as you are – natural and harmonious. Clearly understand your strengths and weaknesses, accept yourself and love yourself with all your heart. You may ask: what is the difference from narcissism? And the fact is that by accepting yourself as anyone, you can treat other people in the same way.

Christianity

Can replace the lily in paintings dedicated to the Annunciation. Divine love and sacrifice. Due to its lily-like shape, it also often appears in images of Mary. Narcissus in the Christian tradition is the triumph of overcoming selfishness; the triumph of God’s love for people who have overcome the desire for sin; symbol of the victory of Life over Death; heavenly love over earthly love; attribute of the Mother of God - due to the similarity of the narcissus to the lily.

Narcissus in the Middle Ages was a symbol of revenge (for the slander of the nymph Echo).