List of answers to the question “What are you doing?”, “What are you doing?” funny, joke
Try to learn how to answer any, even the most banal question, funny and humorous. This will return or set a special positive tone to your relationship with the person. Sarcasm is very popular these days and it is not difficult to learn.
Here are the possible answers:
- Completely avant-garde and unrealistic answers: “I make hay” or “I dry crackers.” (A joke that implies that you are not doing anything at the moment).
- If you want your interlocutor to smile, try answering: “I can imagine how order in my room appears on its own .”
- Try to hint to your interlocutor that you are completely free : “I’m spitting at the ceiling” or “I’m honing the skill of throwing saliva at the ceiling.”
- Show your interlocutor that you can spend time together: “I’m just thinking about what to do, any ideas?”
- The answer to a question on social networks is: “like everyone else, I stupidly study my news feed.”
- Invite your friend or interlocutor to visit: “I’m tasting different types of tea, do you like tea?” .
- Answer truthfully: “I’m sitting on an ultra-soft chair, looking at the glowing monitor and trying to catch a thought in my head.”
Answers for dialogue
Saturday, March 17, 2012
How to answer meaningless questions in an original way?
The seemingly simple formal question “how are you” and its compatriots “how are you?”
, "What's up?" and so on, I don’t know about you, but they put me in a specific stupor. Especially if the question comes from a person who certainly doesn’t care about your “affairs”, your “life” and even yourself. And here the question arises, how can one respond in such a way as to send the message without offending the person? Taking full advantage of the capabilities of the omniscient Google, I decided to compile a list of ethical and not so ethical answers to this and essentially similar questions. If you are in a good mood, you are full and satisfied with yourself, and the person who asked you is not too disgusting to you, you can answer as follows: • best of all! • super! • Great! • What I have to do is just business. • Masha (Vasya, Petya), you’re the business one, and I’m a slacker by nature. • There is a lot to do • everything is just wonderful • so great that you want to sing • As usual, everything is great. • It’s so good that there’s nothing to say
If you are still in a good mood, but the person who asked the question is of little interest to you, is not attractive, or he has the same specific sense of humor as you, you can answer like this:
• – Well, better than yours! • “with the letter X, but don’t think it’s good. • Like on the morning of the first of January • I haven’t given birth yet. – When I give birth, I’ll let you know. • . Just like five minutes ago. • Cases in the prosecutor's office. • Affairs. No, I'm not a business person. • Don't know. The prosecutor is sick. • Do you want it all at once or in parts? • As you see. By the way, your glasses don’t suit you (if you don’t have glasses: You’re big-eyed, you can see right through.) • In the fog.. and there’s a lid on the horizon. -Which cover? -Coffin lid.)) • Dum spiro spero. -What what? -While I’m breathing, I hope I’m cool (with whom I can be familiar, of course) • like a body in a morgue • White as soot. • Ha. You will not get it. (if the person is not very good) • Like in a fairy tale - the further you go, the worse it gets. • Stunning) • As white as a black man's ass. (Quote from one book about FSB officers). • Best of all, and no one is jealous! • Thank you has already ended (for girls, although guys can also use it, thereby putting the interlocutor into a stupor) • who are you? • I'm married (I'm married) • You've made a mistake • And for what purpose are those interested? • Regularly • how are you? – 69. – what (why) 69? - What (why) is it? O_o • in what dimension? • Yes, it’s okay, we fall. (film “Only old men go into battle”) • Semper in motu – ))))))) (always on the move) • The thief has the business, but we have problems! • as soon as she lay down she gave it away!! • - Where? (wait for a response in 30 minutes) • . I don’t answer the question “How are you” so as not to burden you with sympathy (Zhvanetsky) • things will happen • do you really want to hear THIS? • have not started yet.
For characters whose existence frankly depresses you, the answers may be as follows:
• go to hell • none of your business • got up and left. • fuck off my cherry • Who knows, doesn’t ask, who asks, doesn’t know. • I'm dripping a hole. So it goes. • Out of purely scientific interest, I would like to ask: is “the brake” a subspecies of man? • Welcome to the anti-spam bot! • How would I answer you with obscenities…. • I answer the question “How are you” differently at different times of the day, but always negatively (Zhvanetsky)
There are also options when you have a particularly sadistic mood and you are ready to spend a little time to answer the person, but so he never asked you about your affairs again.
• Oh, how I haven’t seen you for a long time, there’s so much you want to say, so much, so much, I have a wonderful job, I have my own business, cows in the morning, five of them, then goats, the chickens also want to eat for lunch, having finished the housework, I run to the hairdresser because there’s a ball in the evening and the children of one don’t want to go to the kindergarten of another in the first grade, the third doesn’t want to go to the 10th grade.. wait, wait, where are you? • You need to firmly take the person by the hand and explain to him in great detail and detail all your affairs over the past ten years. • – Listen, you are asking me about this today, on this beautiful morning, just to satisfy your humanoid needs for meaningful communication with the goal of exchanging information and accumulating it in your brain, consisting of millions and billions of nerve cells, constantly interacting with each other for so that you can build logical parallels and have abstract thinking, which is crammed with all sorts of rubbish you don’t need? • So it is. Woke up at 8. Got up. And describe your day until he understands what you are doing with him • Are you in no hurry? Can you imagine? (and proceed to a detailed description of all the things that you were going to do today and which were postponed until tomorrow, about what problems you encountered in solving the problems of the global financial crisis when trying to withdraw a deposit from the bank.).)) • To the question “How are you?” scream, howl obscenely, beat your head against the wall for a long time, punch the questioner in the face, then get terribly drunk. In general, avoid answering. (M. Zhvanetsky - yes, comrades, he is immortal!))
And also the top of the most original things that could be found on Google in response to the question “what’s new?”
Reason #7. She's testing you.
Almost every woman wants to date a confident guy.
How does a woman test a man's confidence? Asks him about it?
Of course not!
If a sexy girl asks any guy if he is confident in himself, she will probably hear “yes.”
How can she know that you are truly confident and not like the other guys who message her?
She's testing you.
How? Whether intentionally or subconsciously, she takes longer to respond to your messages.
A woman who has been texting you very often suddenly pauses, just to see if you'll lose your cool.
She wants to make sure that the guy she's dating is confident and strong (both physically and emotionally).
Therefore, when a girl does not respond to your message, it is better to remain calm.
If you break down, show anger and disappointment, insult, start controlling, asking why she didn’t answer for so long, catching her in a lie - you will immediately fail the test of emotional maturity.
So what to do? Should I write to her if she doesn't answer or should I wait?
The short answer is no! You need to be patient and wait for her answer.
As practice shows, women should not write double text messages.
If a girl doesn't have time to respond, give her time before sending another message.
What if she doesn't answer at all?
This could mean two things:
1) she is still interested in you, but for some reason she could not answer;
2) she is not interested or has lost interest.
So when should you write to her and how can you understand whether she is interested in continuing communication or not?
Wait 24 to 72 hours (3 days). Then send her another message.
If she answers, good! Perhaps she is still interested in you.
If she doesn't respond at all, it clearly shows that she is not interested in you.
Forget about her and start meeting new amazing women. Why waste time on a girl who is clearly not interested in you?
Are you really that desperate?
I hope not!
Chasing girls who aren't interested in you is a terrible idea.
First of all, chances are good that you will never get the girl you are pursuing.
It will be a waste of your energy, emotions and time.
Secondly, it will reduce your self-esteem and self-confidence.
It's better to spend this time, energy and emotions looking for women who like to communicate with you.
VKontakte is an unlimited choice of girls for every taste, and among them there is probably one that suits you perfectly.
This will give you confidence and increase your self-esteem.
Why does a girl answer “I don’t know” to questions: what should she say in response?
For many girls, “I don’t know” and “I don’t want to talk about it” are synonymous words. Why does the girl answer questions like that? Quite often, with the help of this expression, the fair sex tries to avoid uncomfortable questions. But how to react to such “defense”? What should I say to her in response?
- I see that you don't want to talk about it. Okay, I won't insist. We'll talk about this later (when you're ready).
- Sorry, honey. But there is no point in hiding the obvious now. We both know exactly what I'm talking about. And the sooner we dot the i’s in this situation, the better for both of us.
- For me, you “don’t know,” but for others, you are quite aware.
- I know very well that in your case “I don’t know” means “I don’t want.” Well, it's your choice. I cannot challenge it even with all my desire.
Of course, everything depends on the context of the topic being discussed. In some cases, you can playfully cling to a woman’s “I don’t know” and benefit from it. And in some cases, it’s really better to retreat and not insist.
A list of beautiful answers to the question “What are you doing?”, “What are you doing?”
Your ability to select good answers to any questions posed will show you your best side. Of course, you can always be witty and resourceful if you have a large vocabulary. However, this requires a lot of time, but a prepared list of answers will “save” your energy.
Options:
- Show with your answer that you are very educated and do not waste time: “I read a book, I always read when I have a free minute.”
- A philosophical answer will help you discover yourself as a deep and interesting person: “I’m always busy with something, and even when I’m doing something specific, I’m still mentally planning, building, dreaming something .
- A simple but “life-like” answer will help you show that you are an interesting person: “like everyone else, I try to live in pleasure and no worse than others.”
- If you want to hint at your successful professional activity in your answer, you should not brag, but simply answer: “I work and I like it” or “I work and am very successful.”
- If you cannot specifically answer such a question, just say: “I live,” “I live to the fullest,” “I take care of myself.”
- You can add romance to the conversation with the following answers: “I remember our meetings,” “I think about you,” “I introduce you.”
- If the question was asked to start flirting, write: “I imagine how I kiss you,” “I dream about you,” “I’m looking for a way to ask you out on a date.”
Beautiful and romantic answer options
Reason #1. She was busy
Perhaps you wrote to her at the time she:
— Hanging out with friends.
- Was at work.
- In gym.
- At lectures.
If a lot of interesting things are happening in a girl’s life, it’s difficult for her to instantly respond to all your messages.
You may not be one of her top priorities, at least not right now.
Does this mean she doesn't have romantic feelings for you?
Not really.
A girl may think: “I’ll answer later,” but then she forgets.
Surely the same thing happened to you in relation to your friends.
If a girl has a really interesting, eventful life, then why does she need a boring guy who spends all day on a social network?
Let her know that you also have something to do besides texting.
5 universal phrases for responding to rudeness
We present to you five correct phrases that can disarm a boor. Don't forget that your actions indicate how human you are.
"Thank you"
Despite the fact that we perceive this word as something quite simple, it can actually have a significant impact on a person. If you are rude in response to an impolite person, then you are not at all superior to him. Therefore, it is better to answer “thank you.” This short word will ensure that the interlocutor will not be rude to you later.
How to answer a guy’s question “Are you normal?”: options for daring answers
This question from a young man “seems to hint” that the girl is doing something that, in his understanding, is a deviation from the moral, ethical, psychological norm. Direct synonym: “Are you stupid, or what?”, “Are you really that?” . It's not entirely pleasant to hear this. What answers can you come up with in this case? How to answer a guy’s question “Are you normal?” . Here are some daring answers:
- Yes, more normal than some. You are the one who plays World of Tanks and listens to Morgenstern.
- I normal. But I have big doubts about you.
- Of course I'm crazy. How could anyone be normal with you?
- He himself made me crazy, and now he’s even indignant.
- They say that a woman is what a man makes her. So now, dear, draw your conclusions.
- My abnormality is a direct confirmation of your personal idiocy.
- Who's normal? I normal? Why normal? When is it normal? Why normal?
- I'm not normal, I'm abnormal.
- I'm normal, I'm just being stupid.
- Well, is it normal? A little more adequate than the texts of Yegor Letov. But not by much.
- I'm normal, like abstract art. And adequate, like a crazy saw.
- Am I normal? A rather strange question came from the psychiatric hospital.
- Am I normal? Question of the century. Answered by Alexander Druz. So, Alexander, what are your guesses?
Answering the question correctly
In fact, you shouldn’t be offended by this question. Firstly, you can always turn it into a good joke and have fun together. And secondly, a person may indeed doubt the adequacy of decisions or judgments. We all sometimes act irrationally or differently than the rest of the world wants us to. That's why we are people, individuals.
So what is the answer to “I miss you”...
Instead of a conclusion.
Women are more emotional, men are more closed in their feelings. And no matter what newfangled family psychologists and psychologists from social networks tell you, going against nature is not always right. Of course, you don’t have to hide your feelings to look like a real man, but you also don’t need to stoop to declarations of love in every SMS.
And, at a minimum, because a real man should have no time to be bored, because he has hobbies and work. Otherwise, over time, she will definitely understand that she needs someone else. As they say, less words - more action. And sometimes it’s really easier for men to show their feelings through actions than words. And that's okay.
Look at real reviews of Igor Lapin’s pickup training:
More reviews here —>
What to answer a guy or girl to the words “I know, but”: options
We answer the guy or girl to the words “I know, but”
People really like to parry everything, like in chess. They have an answer to any question. Moreover, people simply love to use arguments to protect themselves. With the phrase “I know, but” a person shows that he made a mistake, but does not want to admit it. He does not want to follow the “right” path, but wants to choose his own.
Even if from the point of view of society, this path is wrong. This is a kind of manifestation of willfulness that may be appropriate. However, the person who says “I know, but” is being selfish. He does not listen to the opinions of others, but wants to do what only he needs. What can a guy or girl answer to these words? Here are the options:
- Perhaps you really do know. But I have much more experience (including life experience), so I would still recommend that you do as I told you.
- If you “know, but”, it means you don’t know.
- It is not enough to just know, it is also important to understand.
- For every “I know” you always have a thousand “buts”. And this is the root of all your misunderstandings.
- Do as you please. I won't dissuade you.
In general, “I know, but” is always an attempt to show independence. It can be both successful and unsuccessful. However, in some cases it is wiser to give a person the opportunity to prove himself. Even if he stumbles in the process.
Download 203 more phrases to respond to rudeness
Want more phrases? Download the file.
This file contains another 203 original, poisonous and funny phrases (including phrases 18+), which you will not find in open sources.
Phrases are divided into categories for convenience. This list will help you stand up for yourself and not feel humiliated and insulted after meeting a boor. Using these phrases as an example, you can come up with your own.
You can save this file to your phone and quickly open it at the right time to view the required answer. To do this, you can use the links in the table of contents.
File structure
- Regular answers
- Answers against jokers
- Phrases about intelligence, logic and brain
- Answers against boors/offenders
- Answers - threats
- Humiliating responses
- For people with high self-esteem
- Cool answers
- Answers-questions
- Evaluative Phrases
- Constructive
- Phrases about appearance
- The phrase and its answer
- Phrases for when someone interrupts you
- Phrases for meeting/farewell
- Phrases against envious people
- Parent category
- Short answers
- Long and complex answers
- Uncategorized/miscellaneous
- 18+
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how to answer this. and then some ask stupid questions, and when I ask: why are you interested or for what purpose? answer: well, I just asked. That's why you asked, since it's simple.
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I hope this post doesn't come across as bitching about your questions.
I also don’t want anyone to think that this is specifically about him. This post is just about some steps that will help you avoid asking bad questions, which in turn will lead to bad answers or no answers. Resourcefulness is one of the most important abilities of a developer. If a developer can find answers and solve problems on his own, he will likely spend more time completing tasks rather than wondering why they aren't working.
If you are faced with a problem that time and time again is not found in the search engine, and the solution continues to elude you, then you should ask a question. Just make sure you think it through enough and really put in the effort to make your question worth answering.
And it’s better that the question isn’t “why jQuery doesn’t work.”
How to answer awkward questions
Ask a friend for help
If you are with friends or relatives and hear a question you couldn't anticipate, you can ask one friend or relative to politely intervene in the conversation.
You can, for example, ask the child to say or ask something.
Prepare an answer that suits you in advance
If you are going to a scheduled meeting, an interview, for example, you can prepare answers to any unwanted questions that you suspect are awaiting you. Psychologists call this “visualizing your free throws.”
Let's say you go for an interview and suspect that you will be asked about your management experience, but you don't have much of it.
You can use a given question as a topic for an answer or just to change the subject. Say, “I'm so glad you asked! One of the reasons I seek out new opportunities is because I am eager to learn new things, grow and develop, and I pick things up quickly.”
Reason #2. Your messages are boring and monotonous
- Hello.
- How was your day?
- What are you doing?
- How are you?
Are you really that boring?
The fact is that if your message is not catchy from the first phrase, the girl will not rush to answer.
Other forms of boring messages are logical, long and detailed.
They take a lot of time to read, comprehend and formulate an answer.
Girls are much more willing to respond to short, specific, light-hearted and fun messages that evoke curiosity and emotion - as opposed to logic and predictability.
For example, instead of sending the usual “how are you”, you can start your message with something like:
“You won't believe what happened to me today...” She will be curious to know what happened to you.
Or instead of a simple “hello” you can send:
“Today I met a sexy girl in a short green dress, but she was in such a hurry that she didn’t even notice me.”
You flirt with her, give her a compliment and set a playful tone.
The girl will definitely respond to such a message.
This will make her curious.
Sometimes a girl doesn’t answer on VKontakte only because she has nothing to answer.
Not all messages need to be answered.
Sometimes you just state your point of view.
You convey specific information that does not depend in any way on her answer.
