Jokes are bad. What's the downside of humor? | Psychology of life

Symptom of aggression

It seems that a laughing person with all his appearance shows good disposition towards others. They say, I came to you with a good joke, and not with a stone in my bosom. However, there may still be a “stone”. Especially if the wit allows himself sarcastic ridicule, barbs, teasing or evil practical jokes. Such jokes contain a considerable amount of aggression. Canadian psychologist Rod Martin believes that such humor has long been used to lower the status and isolate unwanted members of society. And nothing has changed since then. By teasing our interlocutor, we want to hurt his pride, probe his weak points, and put him in his place. Such humor cannot be called good.

So... be careful with jokes. They can hurt as much as an insult. Ironic compliments like “Your belly is so funny! You look like a donut!” Don’t get carried away either: they are very painful. And in general, if you are not sure that your joke will be understandable and pleasant, remain silent. If, nevertheless, you offended someone with your witticism, it is better to immediately apologize. And don’t insist on your own: “Don’t you understand humor?!” Otherwise, a serious conflict over a joke could flare up.

Article on the topic

“Laughter is a philosophical category.” Yuri Galtsev about shocking behavior and jokes below the belt

Humor is a weapon for leaders

Humor is used quite a bit in the workplace; according to statistics, humor appears in about 10% of emails; in personal communications, it is more often used by employees in leadership positions. Although humor unites people of different social groups and is characteristic of different classes, it is still associated with success, courage and emancipation, characteristic of leaders. According to research by Cecily Cooper professors Tony Kong and Craig Crossley, when leaders use humor as a means of interpersonal communication, their subordinates feel happier, it helps improve communication, employees become more willing to help each other, which ultimately has a positive impact on efficiency and productivity.

At the same time, humor becomes a dangerous weapon in inexperienced hands, which can undermine the reputation of an unlucky joker. In I Can't Believe You Just Said That, Danny Wallace talks about the phenomenon of incivility and bad jokes that can cost leaders dearly. One bad joke can create the impression of a person as rude and uncouth, intolerant and unprofessional.

Means of competition

Researchers from the University of Arizona have found that men avoid women with a sense of humor. Firstly, they are afraid of becoming the target of their jokes (being ridiculed by a woman is a shame!). Secondly, they feel competitors in the ladies. After all, the ability to make jokes has always been considered a male prerogative. Boys even begin to joke earlier than girls - by the age of five. As they grow older, however, many of their peers step on their heels, but gentlemen do not want to give up the “humorous” palm. Like, somewhere, somewhere, but let the patriarchy remain in the fun genre! So it’s unlikely that a gentleman will laugh until he bursts into tears at your jokes—at best, he’ll smile politely. Deep down, he may be bitter and offended because your sense of humor is better developed than his. This hurts his male pride.

Therefore... you can sprinkle witticisms among your family and friends. Here no one will feel you as a competitor. Therefore, there will be no resentment. But at the stage of meeting a man, it is better not to try to sharpen his point. You can, of course, joke in response to his joke. But it’s better to admire his sense of humor than to endlessly demonstrate yours.

Question answer

Is it polite not to laugh at a joke you've already heard?

Remember the cultural context

You can hardly find a group that tolerates irony about their culture and country from outsiders. However, speaking about the intercultural context, the ability to perceive irony is also important. If in England you hear a person making an ironic statement about the acquired mansion or the recently received doctorate, do not rush to develop this joke; often this is just a way to talk about one’s merits, and irony from the outside can be understood as a complete lack of tact and understanding of the cultural code.

Sign of dementia

Scientists from University College London, having studied the symptoms of senile dementia, came to the conclusion that suddenly awakened cheerfulness may be a sign of incipient dementia. For example, a person may love stupid comedies, vulgar jokes, and laugh at footage of tragedies and natural disasters. The problems of his loved ones also often amuse him. For example, he may start laughing if a relative burns his hand or catches his foot on the sofa and falls to the floor.

Such a change in the sense of humor can occur several years before the onset of other symptoms of dementia: memory impairment, mental disorders, etc.

Therefore... do not ignore such a symptom in your loved ones. Especially if a person previously could not stand “dirty” humor, but now this is the only thing that amuses him. Despite the fact that scientists have not yet discovered a cure for dementia, early diagnosis will help slow down the progression of the disease.

Is everything so rosy?

The nature of a joke is ambiguity, contradiction and discrepancy between form and content, the comedy of the situation. Plato also argued that without the funny it is impossible to understand the serious, and in general the opposite can be known with the help of the opposite. It is the two-faced nature underlying the joke that becomes both a source of laughter and, in the event of a bad joke, turns against the joker, becoming the key to misunderstanding, loss of good reputation, or even persecution.

Advertising on Forbes

Often the perception of a joke depends on the context. An anecdote that seems funny and piquant in a company of friends may turn out to be a complete failure in a formal communication situation. There are contexts in which jokes are perceived very warily, this primarily includes the religious context. The case of cartoons of the Islamic prophet Muhammad published on September 30, 2005 in the Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten is widely known. After the publication of the drawings, numerous accusations fell on the cartoonist, but the Danish court sided with the secular newspaper and did not find any corpus delicti in the drawings. But the matter did not end there: violent protests began in Damascus and Beirut, indignant crowds set fire to the embassies of Denmark and Norway, a German cultural center was destroyed in Palestine, an attempt was made to break into the office of the European Union in Gaza, and newspaper editors who reprinted the drawings were arrested in Jordan.

The cartoonist himself survived several assassination attempts; the Afghan Taliban offered 100 kg of gold for his life, but this situation helped him receive the Leipzig Prize for the Future and Freedom of the Media in 2010 worth €30,000.

The perception of what is funny depends on culture. If some cultural and religious communities categorically do not allow humor and self-irony on certain topics, then in others the situation looks the opposite. The ironic and pointed jokes of members of the British royal family are widely known, but in Britain humor permeates all classes, as Kate Fox argues in Watching the English. Hidden rules of behavior,” everything can become the subject of jokes, but first of all the speaker himself. The self-irony of the English requires separate study; to understand the cultural context, it is important to always keep it in mind - the more an Englishman ironizes over his achievements and downplays them, the more significant they may actually be. Anthropologists who have studied in detail the features of British humor recommend never taking the words of the speaker directly; often they hide exactly the opposite attitude.

Many people work in a multicultural environment and often communicate with colleagues or friends from other countries, so it is, of course, important for us to understand the attitude towards jokes in another culture before trying to joke ourselves or accepting the jokes of others. Many difficulties arise for people directly related to communication in an intercultural environment - translators, diplomats and politicians.

Politicians have left their mark on history not only through their actions, but also through their sense of humor. One of the most memorable politicians in this context is Ronald Reagan, who became the oldest candidate for US President. Of course, his age provoked numerous questions; his answer to political opponent Walter Mondale in a televised debate in 1984 is famous, when Reagan replied that he would not focus on the issue of age: “I am not going to exploit the youth and inexperience of my opponent for political purposes.” The audience burst out laughing, and at that moment, as Mondale later admitted, he realized that he had lost the election campaign.

Humor is needed not only by politicians, but also by all people who want to advance their careers. We've put together a little guide to using humor in the workplace.

How to make humor work for you?

Can laugh at himself

Quality is considered one of the most valuable. It's not easy to meet people who admit their own shortcomings and can laugh at them. More often you can meet women to whom you can’t even say anything bad.

And such a lady will laugh at ridiculous situations, and she is not afraid to seem stupid or incompetent. All these qualities make the lady stand out from the general background. And there is one interesting fact: as a rule, only men laugh at themselves; this quality is rarely found in women.

Mouth, lungs and brain: how laughter works

So what happens when you smile, my soul? Your face moves. The zygomaticus major muscle stretches the mouth upward and to the sides, the zygomaticus minor muscle pulls the upper lip. The muscle that elevates the upper lip and the muscle that lowers the lower lip help to open the lips - the latter, by the way, can be trimmed in case of paralysis of the mandibular nerve in order to straighten the smile. The orbicularis oculi muscle forms folds around the eyes (I see a Duchenne smile and I smile too).

Fun is born in your chest. You exhale sharply, your chest and abdominal cavity tense, your diaphragm contracts. The lungs and airways are compressed, and pressure increases in the esophagus and stomach. Your breath passes through the larynx, vibrates the vocal cords, and I hear you laugh.

Fun is born in your mind. The study showed that a joke seems to pierce your forehead: the left half of the frontal lobe analyzes whether it is a joke or not, and the right half analyzes whether it is funny or not funny.

Loud laughter

The psychology of laughter is an interesting science. Competent experts believe that a person who laughs loudly has a huge supply of vital energy. He:

active;
purposeful;
open;
effective;
prone to self-development.

Laughter is a very bright personality, whose opinion is always listened to by others. He is patient with other people's shortcomings, but if someone tries to avoid responsibility or sit on his head, he will become harsh and directly state all his complaints.

Such a person can hardly be called a weakling. His spirit and will are strong. He loves order, and everywhere: on his desk, in his office, in the kitchen, in his bag, and even in his own thoughts. His whole life is clearly planned, and every step is well thought out. Always ready for fate's surprises. Knows how to help himself and others.

Laughing is a wonderful friend. He is valued for his responsiveness and ability to listen. Other people's problems are not indifferent to him.

Such a personality attracts not only people, but also financial success. Among her best qualities is her focus on results. Laugher always knows what and when to do to achieve what he wants.